The Daddy Pact

Kristy K. James


Copyright 2011 by Kristy K. James
Smashwords Edition

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For my kids...
And in loving memory of Westside Deli and Chi-chi’s restaurant.


CHAPTER 1

Sitting at his cluttered desk filling out paperwork, Ed Winslow looked more like an office executive than an officer of the law. In his navy suit and nearly matching tie no one would guess he lived life on the edge, putting himself in danger every day to solve crimes in Michigan’s Capitol city.
Chalk another one up for the Lansing Police Department. For Winslow specifically. Working on the case for three and a half months, he’d made the long awaited call just yesterday. It was finally over, the trial to come a mere formality. Bruce Mulholland, for no apparent reason, had turned himself in, making a full confession. Yes, they had their man, and a conviction was guaranteed. He just wished-
Well, regardless of what he might wish, there was nothing to be done about it now. It was too late to do anything to change what had happened. Or what was to come. He never had liked working on this case. Not from day one and now he knew why.
The gold pen he held, moving rapidly across the page in front of him, stopped suddenly. Alerted by some slight sound or movement, or perhaps a sixth sense honed through twenty-odd years of police work, he knew he was being watched. Whatever the reason, he looked up, unable to hide his dismay when he saw her standing there.
Running a hand through his short-cropped brown hair, just now beginning to show signs of gray - and receding more each day it seemed, he rose swiftly to his feet to greet her. This was the last thing he felt like dealing with right now, but he should have known she would come.
“Mrs. Bentley. This is a surprise.” Though his smile welcomed her, he looked at her curiously, his thick brows drawn together in thought. “I’m afraid we weren’t expecting you today.”
“Can I see him?” Jess Bentley asked tonelessly, her green eyes dull, almost vacant. Winslow could have sworn she didn’t actually see him there.
“You said you couldn’t identify him, even if we did need your help."
“I can’t.”
“Can't what? Identify him? I know. Look, why don’t you have a seat. I’ll get you some coffee and we’ll talk.” He indicated a pair of worn leather chairs in front of his desk.
“I want to see him,” she repeated, ignoring his attempt at social pleasantries.
Winslow studied her closely. The last time he’d seen her, at the funeral, she’d been a typical, run-of-the mill widow, dressed neatly in black, hauntingly beautiful. Today, well, today there was little resemblance to the woman he remembered.
The gray sweat suit she wore, several sizes too large for her slender frame, was wrinkled and looked as though she’d had it on for several days, probably the same length of time since her hair had seen a brush, the red-brown curls falling down her back in a tangled mess. Dark circles beneath wide-eyes, matched thick sooty lashes, contrasting dramatically with the pallor of her skin, and the evidence of many sleepless nights.
He also sensed a tenseness about her. From the rigid way she held herself as she stood there in the doorway, to the desperate way she clutched a floral tapestry handbag to her chest. She held it so tightly her knuckles were white. Something definitely wasn’t right about this scene.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ma’am.”
“Maybe not, but I still want to.”
“Why?”
“Do I need a reason?”
“I think so.”
Jess Bentley shifted her gaze away from him and let it drift around the room seeing, but not taking in the wanted posters and bulletin board on the wall. The huge window overlooking the busy street below might not have been there. Nor the glass wall separating this office from the desks on the other side of it. What she did notice, and Winslow knew the exact moment she did, was the portrait of his former family on the desktop. He sensed, more than saw, her resentment at its presence. Finally, she looked at him again.
“Nice family.”
“Thank you.” He rounded the corner to sit on its edge, casually crossing his arms as he continued to watch her, waiting patiently for her answer.
“He killed Frank.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“Isn’t that reason enough?”
“Is that the only one?”
“No, it’s not.” For the first time since her arrival, her voice betrayed the anger she felt. “I want to see the man who murdered my husband. I want him to see that, because of him, I’m alone now.”
“It was an accident,” Winslow murmured, as though to himself.
“What?”
“It was an accident,” he repeated so she could hear him this time. “He only intended to rob your husband. The shooting wasn’t intentional.”
“Is that supposed to make it all right?” Jess asked.
“No, of course not. All I’m saying is if the purpose of your visit is to make him feel guilty then it’s a waste of time. You can rest assured, he feels guilty.”
“Good. Then maybe I can make him feel worse, hmm?” she asked on a sob.
“Mrs. Bentley,” Winslow sighed, “do you realize if Mulholland hadn’t turned himself in, we’d never have caught him? Not on the evidence we had. He could have gotten away with it and no one would have been the wiser.”
“So give him a medal. I still want to see him, face to face.”
Sighing deeply, Winslow shrugged his shoulders and crossed the room, coming to a stop before a filing cabinet next to where she stood.
He pulled an enormous ring of keys from his jacket pocket, searched for the one he needed, and unlocked the top drawer. Jess winced at the drawer’s ear piercing squeal as he slid it open.
“Guess I’d better call maintenance,” he said by way of apology, holding out his hand. “Just let me lock your bag in here and I’ll take you down.”
“No.”
“No?”
“I’d rather keep it with me,” she stammered, holding it even closer.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t allow you in the visiting area unless you leave it here," he explained gently.
“It’s not like I’d try to help him escape or anything.”
“I never thought you would. But that’s the rule.”
“Can’t you bend them? Just this once?” Her eyes pleaded with him to make an exception.
“No, Ma’am.”
Jess sagged against the door casing, tears streaming down her face. Winslow put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Ma‘am, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain, the anger, you must be feeling. But I can understand how you might feel the need to take the law into your own hands. And I can’t let you do that.”
“I knew you knew,” she whispered, wiping a hand across her cheeks.
“I don’t know anything. I do have my suspicions though. And if I don’t go with my gut on this, you’ll be the one to suffer.”
“Can’t that be my choice?”
“No. Mulholland and a witness both said the gun went off when your husband thought you were in danger. Your safety, your life, meant more to him than his own. I won’t let you do something that will put you at risk.”
“My life?” Jess asked, laughing harshly. “My life ended when Frank’s heart stopped beating. And all that’s left is this, this pain and this aloneness.” Slender fingers covered her lips as she began to weep.
“Mrs. Bentley.” Winslow felt a lump form in his throat as he put an arm around her shoulders. Few cases had ever touched him in this way, and he really wished this one hadn’t. He didn’t like feeling this helpless. Not one bit. “Ma’am, what you want to do won’t take those feelings away. Only time will help.”
‘No.” She shook her head at his lame attempt to comfort her.
“I know it doesn’t seem that way now, but it will,” he said gently. “You just need someone to help you through this. Someone you trust.” But who? If he remembered correctly, she had no family, and her husband’s only relative blamed her for his death.
Winslow couldn’t deal with this. It was easier if he could remain detached from a victim’s pain. From the perpetrator’s pain. He shouldn’t be wishing he could find a way to help. But there had to be something. Wait, there had been a friend. Manning? No, that wasn’t right. It was Lanning. Emmerald Lanning.
“Did you drive yourself here, Mrs. Bentley?”
“I took a cab.” Most likely she hadn't planned on returning to her apartment, he guessed.
“Then I’ll take you home. Let me just go and clear it with my boss. It’ll only take a minute.” He hesitated for a moment before asking, “Which door did you come in?”
“I waited at the side of the building until someone came out.” He’d known it had to be something like that because she for sure hadn’t come in through the front door.
“Wait here. We’ll leave that same way.”
Winslow spun around, hurrying down the hall to his captain’s office, rapping on the glass with more force than was necessary and, when the command came to enter, rushing inside and briefly explaining the situation.
“Her home and work numbers should be in the file. Tell Lanning to get to Mrs. Bentley’s A.S.A.P.”
For the first time in as long as he could remember, Winslow wasn’t cussing as he caught almost every stop light on their slow trip across town. He didn’t even mind the miles of lunch hour traffic today. The longer the drive, the better the odds were that Mrs. Lanning would be waiting when they arrived.
And that would be a good thing because Mrs. Bentley hadn’t uttered a word since climbing into his inconspicuous black sedan. It worried him. If he had to make a guess, he would say that she was in shock. At this moment, he figured, she had probably counted on being in a jail cell, or dead, not riding beside him headed back to her empty apartment. Not with the man she hated alive and well.
He was disappointed to note the absence of the tall black woman waiting on the landing outside her door. Now he didn’t know what to do but offer, as they ascended the stairs to her apartment, to stay with her awhile.
“No,” Jess said.
“Are you sure?” It wouldn’t be any trouble,” he assured her. Just until the friend got there.
“I’m sure. I’d really rather be alone.”
Stopping at her door, Jess turned to look over the railing. There it was. The spot where it happened. She knew because there was a faint stain marring the otherwise light-colored pavement. A blood stain that hadn’t washed away after all this time. Frank’s blood. The landlord had tried to clean it up after the investigation, but faint traces still remained.
“I hate leaving you like this,” Winslow muttered, rubbing his chin and staring at her hard.
“I’ll be fine,” Jess murmured, turning to put her key in the lock. Suddenly she looked back at the detective and asked, “Could you do something for me?”
“Name it.”
“Tell him for me that Frank was a good man. Tell him we were happy.”
“I can do that,” he promised gruffly, turning his gaze away, but not before she saw that his eyes had grown bright. “Could you do something for me?”
“What?”
“Take care of yourself.”
She didn’t answer, only closed the door between them as Winslow walked away hoping the friend would come soon.

~~~~~

Daniel Mulholland stood at the patio door staring vacantly at the rolling hills behind his home. He didn't feel pride of ownership like he usually did when standing here. In fact, Dan didn't feel anything. Except numb. At least it was an improvement over the devastation that had overwhelmed him when he got the news.
How was this possible? To go from a carefree existence, to having his life shattered in the space of a few short moments
He'd prayed hard. That it wasn't true. That it was a nightmare he’d wake up, laugh at himself and things would be okay. It was a nightmare all right. But when he woke up tomorrow, it would still be there. His brother was-
Oh, God, he couldn't even bring himself to say it.
He swiped at the tears that had been falling off and on all morning, and wished he could erase the memory of his mother’s sobs. When she’d called to tell him, he hadn’t been able to understand a word she’d said, but remembered being scared. That he hadn't wanted to know what she was trying to say, because he knew it was going to be bad.
Then his father had taken the phone and broken the news as gently as he could. Did people really think that delivering bad news in that gentle tone would make it hurt less? Less than, say, shouting it? Or screaming it?
Dan's mother had screamed, over and over, “My baby, my baby.”
His family ripped apart at the seams.
He should be doing something. Go into the office maybe. Keep busy. Except his mind didn’t seem to be working quite right. When Molly and her family got here, they would all be meeting at the folk’s house, but that wouldn't be for a couple more hours yet. What was he supposed to do until then?
He stared at his reflection in the window. The black slacks, white turtleneck, and tweed sports jacket he’d dressed in looked the same as when he’d gotten ready to go in to the office this morning. Those were the only things about him that looked normal. In anger, sometimes frustration, he’d run his fingers through his short dark hair so often it looked worse than when he’d crawled out of bed. His blue eyes gazed back at him vacantly as he continued to stare.
"Dan?"
Dan whipped around and saw his three best friends in the world standing in his dining room doorway, looking ill at ease.
"Is there anything we can do?" Cal asked quietly, moving forward and slinging a hand up to clasp his shoulder.
“You know?” Dan asked, and then shook his head at the absurdity of the question. Of course they knew. Everyone within a fifty-mile radius of Lansing knew that his brother was a murderer.
“Yeah,” Jon muttered gruffly, “we heard about it on the news this morning. You okay?”
“I’ve been better.”
“I’m sure. I‘d like to say I‘m surprised but…” For all that Jon cared about Dan, his longtime dislike of Bruce had never been a secret. In fact, no one had much cared for Bruce and his less than stellar lifestyle.
“What can we do?” Sam interjected, echoing Cal’s earlier question. “Do you have a lawyer yet?”
“Lawyer?” Dan sneered. “Bruce deserves whatever he gets. He murdered that woman’s husband.” He turned back to the French doors, filled with rage. “You saw her on television. We all did. And we all felt bad for her, too. The Honeymoon Widow. My brother did that. He ruined that woman’s life.”
“I wouldn’t say that he ruined it,” Jon pointed out. “It’s hard right now but she’ll get over it.”
“You can be such a jerk,” Cal muttered, glaring at him.
“Yeah, but you love me anyway.”
“What about the lawyer?” Sam asked, pulling a chair from the table, whipping it around and straddling it. “You’re going to want the best. We can kick in if you-”
“No. Thank you, anyway,” Dan sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “I could hire fifty lawyers if need be. But Bruce won’t hear of it.” His laugh was bitter. “For once in his good for nothing life, my brother has developed a conscience. He’s settled for a public defense attorney because, in his words, he deserves everything he gets. And he does.” Cal moved quietly to the counter and started a fresh pot of coffee while Dan ranted on.
“How many times did I put him through rehab?” Dan demanded, smacking the doorframe. “How many times?”
“More than I can count,” Jon said, sliding into one of the dining room chairs. “More times than you should have. He didn’t want help, Dan. He didn’t want to change. You can’t blame yourself.”
“I do blame myself.” He cursed softly and turned to face them all. “Do you remember the day Frank Bentley was murdered? We had just closed on that property west of Lansing, and were celebrating at McGinty’s? Bruce found me there and we went outside for a while.”
“I remember,” Cal murmured while Sam and Jon nodded in agreement.
“You were furious when you came back in,” Jon added. “But Bruce usually manages to tick you off.”
“He wanted money. A couple hundred dollars – and I wouldn’t give it to him. I knew he wanted it for drugs and I wouldn’t give it to him. So he killed Frank Bentley instead.”
“I don’t think he actually intended to kill him,” Cal reminded him. “The witness reports said things got out of control when Bentley’s wife came out. It sounds like it was accidental.”
“Whether he meant to or not, an innocent man is dead. If I’d just given him the money-” That memory had been haunting him since he got the call. If only-
“Don’t even try to take the blame for this,” Sam said, coming up out of his chair and staring hard at Dan. “You weren’t responsible for supporting Bruce’s drug habit, and you sure aren’t responsible because he did something stupid. The only person who can take blame for this is Bruce.”
“My head knows that,” Dan said quietly. “But in my heart, I’m just as guilty as my brother.”

~~~~~

Though the sun shone brightly outside the heavy brown drapes, ever closed, allowed very little light inside. That suited Jess. Darkness here to match the darkness in her soul, she thought, dropping her bag on the glass and brass cocktail table. Realizing what she’d done, braced herself for the crash, and was surprised when it didn’t come.
Slowly, she viewed the room they’d planned so carefully. What hopes they’d had when choosing everything that would furnish their first home. The cream-colored sofa and armchair, and set of three occasional tables. The huge entertainment center to house all of Frank’s expensive stereo equipment. A trace of a smile curved her lips as she remembered how, after setting it all up, he had put on some soft music and they had danced for hours. They had been so perfect together.
The only argument she could recall was over that old brown recliner of his. Looking at it now, she wiped at a stray tear. What an eyesore. No matter how hard she’d tried to convince him it would clash with their new things, he always had a reason to keep it.
Hadn’t he had it since his college days? Didn’t she know it was the most comfortable thing he’d ever had the pleasure of sitting in? And besides, who would notice his old chair once they’d filled the place with pretty pictures and knick-knacks? His final argument had been to kiss her passionately. The chair had stayed.
The tears fell faster as she turned and walked slowly down the short hall, past the kitchen to the right, and the bathroom to the left, her steps faltering for a moment as she entered the bedroom.
The place she’d done her best to avoid since that night. The room that held, within its walls, precious memories of their final hours together.
Frank’s shirt and shoes still lay exactly where he’d taken them off, strewn on the floor with her things. For some reason she hadn’t been able to touch them, or the bedding, a jumbled mess of sheets and blankets. There had been no need to disturb any of it because now, when she was actually able to sleep, she slept in Frank’s chair.
A stray beam of sunlight found its way into the room through a small gap in the curtains, bouncing off the diamond in her engagement ring. Through her tears it looked like a rainbow of dancing colors. But rainbows had no place here. They meant hope. A promise of good things to come. Everything that had been good was gone without Frank here to share it.
“I suppose you want me to carry you over the threshold again.” The teasing voice sounded so real, Jess actually turned to look for him. Of course he wasn’t there. Only memories haunting her again. Still, they seemed almost real.
“As a matter of fact, I do,” she’d teased back. “It didn’t count at the hotel.”
“Says who?” Frank had already taken one suitcase from the back of the Cherokee and was reaching in for a second.
“Says your wife.”
“Oh she does, does she?” He’d stopped what he was doing and grinned at her. “I suppose she thinks she’s privileged.”
“She knows she is.”
Why had the dimly lit parking lot seemed like the perfect place to kiss him, and not just any kiss, but the wrap her arms around his neck and leave him in no doubt as to what she wanted kiss. The sort of kiss that caused him to lift her in his arms, making her laugh and ask,
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Why I would have thought that was obvious, Mrs. Bentley. I’m carrying you upstairs.”
“What about our stuff,” she’d protested. By then he was halfway across the parking lot.
“I’ll get it later.”
“But-”
“Listen, wife, you started this. I’m going to finish it. If someone wants our stuff badly enough steal it, they’re welcome to it. Besides, I doubt anyone’s lurking out here just waiting to rob us.” As he kissed that special spot just behind her ear, neither of them suspected just how wrong he was.
Much later Jess had to admit this new husband of hers had done a superior job of finishing what she’d started. And, gazing at him as she watched him slip into his jeans, feet and chest bare, she couldn’t help but appreciate the fine specimen of a man she’d married.
“I’ll just lock everything up. We can wait till morning to unload it,” he’d told her, pressing his lips against her forehead.
“Hurry.”
“I will. Two minutes tops. I promise.”
Two minutes turned into three. At four, impatient and wondering what was taking so long, Jess slipped into a white silk robe and wandered out to the landing, resting her hands on the rail. Ah.
One of the things she loved about him was his outgoing personality. But only one day remained of their honeymoon and she fully intended to spend it with him. He was just going to have to chat with the neighbor, or whoever was out there with him, some other time.
“Frank? Sweetheart, are you going to be much longer?” she’d called out. With the moon mostly hidden by clouds, she couldn’t make out much except Frank’s chest when he turned toward the sound of her voice.
“Jess! Get inside!” Frank had shouted as she saw the shadow of two pairs of arms go up in the air. What in the world? The sound of a gunshot, and the rear window in the Jeep exploding, answered that question with chilling accuracy and she screamed in terror.
“For God’s sake, Jess! Get out of here!”
But Jess had been unable to move, fear rooting her to the spot as she watched the two men struggle. Another shot and they were still. Then she saw Frank crumple to the ground.
“No!” Her feet finally moved, flying toward Frank, even as his attacker ran the other way.
Fear like she’d never known before rose up in her throat until she thought it would choke her. Breathless, she dropped to her knees beside him. He was so still she was afraid to touch him for fear that he might be- No! He couldn’t be. She gently pulled him into her arms, relief making her weak when he groaned softly.
He was all right, she thought. Then she noticed the gaping wound in his chest, blood spurting from it like a geyser. She quickly pressed her hand against it, hoping to slow the flow, but it just seeped out, warm and sticky between her fingers.
“Oh my God! Oh my God. Someone get help! Call an ambulance!” she screamed, panic overwhelming her as a small crowd gathered around them.
“Don’t die, Frank. Please don’t die,” she wept, rocking him slowly, resting her cheek against his forehead. “I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Just don’t die.”
“Jess- Shh.” Frank was so weak she barely heard him, still he managed to cover the hand she held against him with his own.
“Frank.” In the glow of a flashlight beam, she saw he was pale, deathly pale, and she was scared. “You hold on, sweetheart. Do you hear me? Help is coming so hold on, okay?” she begged desperately as his blood continued to ooze out, soaking both of them, and the ground on which he lay. “We’ll get you to the hospital in no time and they’ll fix you up good as new. Just stay with me a little longer and everything will be all right, Frank.”
“...love you so much, Jess.” He was growing weaker as the seconds crawled by. The wail of sirens in the distance was a welcome sound.
“I love you, too, Frank. Listen, they’re coming. You just hang in there. Do you hear me? Don’t you give up.”
“...so sorry...don’t want to-leave you.” He struggled to look up at her but the effort was too much and his lids dropped slowly until his long lashes rested against his cheeks.
“No, Frank! Wake up! You’re not going anywhere. We’re supposed to be married years, not days.”
“...never been so happy. Thank…you.”
“You’re going to be happy a lot longer because I can’t live without you, Frank. I won’t. So you can’t die. I won’t let you.”
“...must live, Jess....must-live.”
The last words were almost inaudible and then a trace of a smile curved his lips and he was gone. Quickly. Quietly. In her arms.
She vaguely remembered screaming like a wounded animal, sobbing and begging him to wake up. Promising him anything if he would just open his eyes. Rocking him wildly and trying to shake off the hands that tried to take him from her. Only the sharp stab of a needle had brought blissful oblivion. The only peace she’d known since that night.
Slowly, like an old, old woman, Jess peeled off the sweatshirt she wore and bent to pick up Frank’s white dress shirt, burying her face in it and inhaling deeply. It still smelled faintly of his cologne and she was comforted as she slipped it on, the cool fabric caressing her skin. She buttoned it as she returned to the living room, curling up in his chair.
Turning the lamp on low she took their photo album from the table top and opened it to the first page. Not that she needed to. Every detail from every picture was burned into her memory. But she couldn’t touch memories. She could only stroke a picture and pretend it was really him.
Thirty-six photographs from their courtship. A couple from their small wedding. Just a dozen from the honeymoon. They had found better things to do than go sightseeing in Hawaii. Not much to chronicle the short time they’d had together. Still, she couldn’t get enough of looking at them. In fact, that’s all she’d done for three and a half months. That, and miss him. Always, always missing him.
Smiling sadly, she leafed through their life until she reached the last page, to the eight-by-ten she’d had blown up after the funeral. It was her favorite. Hamming it up for the camera, his blue eyes glittering and that grin- It still made her breath catch in her throat. Without a conscious thought, she raised the album and placed a soft kiss on the flat, smooth lips before laying it back on the table and reaching out to get the floral bag.
The barrel of the gun was cold as she caressed it almost lovingly. In that moment, she did love it. It was the only way she could be with Frank again. The perfect way. ‘Till death do us part.’ Death by gunshot had parted them, now it would reunite them.
It was so simple. Almost too easy. Why hadn’t she thought of it before? She could have saved herself so much grief.
Almost giddy with excitement, Jess released the safety, and reached over to get Frank’s picture again. She wanted to hold him when she pulled the trigger. She was so intent on her task that she started violently when a sharp knock sounded at the door.
Ignoring it, she kissed the picture again, promising him quietly that it wouldn’t be long now. Whoever was out there would go away and then she wouldn’t hurt anymore. Except the knocking turned to pounding, increasing to a frenzied attack against the door.


CHAPTER 2

“Jess, open up!” Emma. Who else but the girl who had been her best friend since the fourth grade? The only person she’d been able to turn to these past few months. “I know you’re in there and I’m not leaving until we talk. I mean it, Jess.”
She did, too. Emma possessed a stubborn streak a mile wide. Once she set her mind to something she didn’t let anything stand in the way. The continued pounding was proof of that. Jess lay the gun on the table and walked to the door.
She really should tell her good-bye. Emma had been so good to her. She deserved a little consideration. A thank you for all she had been to her.
“The neighbors are going to call the police on you for disturbing the peace,” Jess said softly, opening the door a few inches, blocking Emma’s view inside with her body.
“Let them,” Emma said breathlessly, closing her brown eyes in relief. “Thank God you’re okay.”
“Better than you, from the looks of it,” Jess said dryly. It didn’t seem possible but she could have sworn her friend’s ebony skin had paled a shade or two.
“If you knew how scared I’ve been you’d be nicer to me. Let me in.”
“Actually, Em, I’m kind of tired right now.”
“Then I won’t stay long.”
“No,” Jess said, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t be very good company.”
“You haven’t been good company for a long time. Now open the door.”
“I said I was tired. If you don’t mind, I’d like to get some sleep.”
“And I said I wasn’t going anywhere until we talked. I’ve been calling for two days and you haven’t bothered to answer the phone,” she accused gently, uselessly pushing against the door. Jess effectively blocked it with her foot.
“Frank’s father has been calling again. I was afraid to pick it up.”
“Well you could have at least called to see if it was me.” She reached out to touch Jess’s cheek. “I just got a call from a captain something or other saying you really need a friend. What’s going on, Jess? And I want the truth.”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” She could have kicked herself when she glanced away from Emma’s face. Now she would know she was lying.
“Don’t give me that. I know that Mulholland turning himself in has got to have blown you away.”
“So?”
“So I want to help.”
“Then go home. I just want to go to sleep.” Emma’s beautiful brown eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“What do you mean, ‘sleep’?”
“You know…sleep. The close-your-eyes feel nothing kind of thing. Which I can’t do until you leave,” Jess said a bit sarcastically.
“Sure you can. You can rest and I’ll- I’ll clean your apartment. I might even make you supper,” she offered, smiling an uncertain little smile.
“Thanks but I’ll have to pass this time.” Impulsively, Jess opened the door and hugged her fiercely. “You’re the best, Em. I hope you know how much you’ve always meant to me. Because I do love you. You know that, don’t you?”
Several inches taller, Emma had the advantage and managed to overpower Jess, shoving her into the living room and kicking the door closed behind them. It only took a millisecond before she spotted the gun.
“What’s that for?” she demanded, pushing Jess away and rushing over to snatch it up.
“Give it back,” Jess snapped. Detective Winslow had put a stop to her original plan. Emma wasn’t spoiling this one.
“Why? What do you want it for?”
“I was going to kill Mulholland.” She looked at Emma, confused. “I don’t know how he knew but he wouldn’t let me do it.”
“Who?”
“Detective Winslow. But I had to try, Em. You understand that, don’t you?” Her eyes bright, Emma nodded and asked gently,
“Why didn’t you put it away when you got home, sweetie?”
“I...I haven’t been back that long.”
“It’s been almost an hour since that captain called me. Why didn’t you put it away?”
“You know why,” Jess said flatly, tired of lying. She watched Emma reach for the back of the recliner to steady herself. “Don’t act so surprised. You knew. Everybody seems to know what I’m going to do even before I do lately.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she whispered, looking at the gun like it was a bomb. “Frank wouldn’t want this, Jess. He loved you too much.”
“Well, Frank isn’t here, is he? That’s the problem. He’ll never be here again. And it’s too hard. It doesn’t get any easier and I’m tired of trying.” She took a shaky breath. There. She’d confessed.
“You just need more time,” Emma said, her eyes pleading with her. “Don’t do this, Jess. Please.”
“I miss him, Em. It’s been months and it’s just as bad as it was when he died.”
“I know.” Emma choked back a sob. “But I can’t let you do it. Until I met Ty you were the only person I had. You’re too important to me. You know, the sister I always wanted. That’s you, Jess.”
“Yeah, right. The white sister you always wanted?” A shred of the sense of humor she used to have flared up and Emma smiled tearfully.
“Okay, so you’re not perfect. But I love you and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”
They stared at each other for a moment before Jess’s knees buckled and she sank to the floor in a heap, crying as though her heart were breaking. Emma hurried over and knelt beside her, holding her close and stroking her hair.
“I don’t know how to do this,” Jess sobbed, her words muffled against Emma’s shoulder. “We were supposed to be together forever and I don’t know how to do this by myself.”
“I’d give anything if I could give him back to you, sweetie, but I can’t, so we’re going to have to find a way to help you through this. Maybe you could come and live with Ty and me. I know he wouldn’t mind. You’ve been alone too long. I could take a leave of absence and stay with you.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“No.”
“Then let’s go see Dr. Anders. We can make sure there isn’t anything physically wrong with you. Then maybe he could prescribe an antidepressant or something.”
“It won’t bring him back.”
“No, it won’t. But it might give you a little hope. Jess, it’s normal to be depressed when someone you love dies, but this has gotten out of hand. We need to get you some help.”
“It won’t do any good.”
“You don’t know that.” She took Jess’s face in her hands and forced her to look at her, saying very slowly, “I won’t let you kill yourself. I’ll quit my job and watch you every second of every day. I swear I will, Jess. So you can either come with me now or I’ll shadow you until you do.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
“It’s my fault that Frank died,” she whispered. Emma inhaled sharply.
“What?”
“It’s my fault and there isn’t a pill in the world that can take the blame away.”
“Jess, honey, that’s ridiculous. Why would you think such a thing?” She let Jess’s head fall back to her shoulder and resumed the gentle strokes against her hair.
“He was trying to unload the car, you know and I-um kissed him-.” She could hardly speak past the lump in her throat. “Really kissed him, and he wanted to make love. If I had just let him finish- He would have been inside where he belonged instead of out there with that monster.”
“That’s nonsense,” Emma said vehemently. “You aren’t responsible for the actions of a crazed drug addict. Frank had every right to go outside and expect to be safe. Bruce Mulholland had no right to be there. This is his fault, not yours.”
“But...”
“Shh. I don’t want to hear any more talk like this. Do you hear me? You didn’t cause this.” Jess felt a light kiss placed against her head. “Now I want you to go take a shower while I call the doctor to let him know I’m bringing you in.”


Chapter 3

Jess sat on the hard examining table in the stark white room wishing she were anywhere but here. She hated the thin paper gown that tore every time she tried to move. The doctor could have at least let her get dressed when he went to fetch Emma.
Except they probably didn’t allow street clothes at the local funny farm. Even though he’d seemed quite concerned during the gentle, thorough examination, she’d managed to convince herself he was making arrangements to have her committed somewhere. He’d been gone for several minutes already. He must be explaining the situation to Emma so she would be prepared when he broke the news to her.
Well, if he thought she would go, he had another thing coming. There wasn’t anything he could do that would make her leave the home she had almost shared with Frank. Not one blessed thing. Just let him try and...
Her thoughts were interrupted when the door opened. Emma entered first, followed by the short, balding doctor. He was pushing a large machine, and she wondered if he’d decided to try electric shock treatments instead.
“Sorry it took so long, hon. I was in the bathroom,” Emma apologized, walking over to stand beside her. The doctor cleared his throat.
“Mrs. Bentley, I wanted Mrs. Lanning here when I gave you the news,” he said hesitantly, looking uncertainly from one woman to the other. “You may find this hard to believe but you’re going to have a baby.”
Emma surprised gaze flew to Jess then, with a shriek of delight, she hugged her tight. Jess sat perfectly still as the announcement sank in. A baby? Frank’s child growing inside her? How could that be? Wouldn’t she know if she were pregnant? Was the doctor lying in some misguided attempt to ward off another try at suicide? He was right. She didn’t believe it, and told him so in no uncertain terms.
“That’s why I brought this along,” he told her, chuckling as he pointed at the machine. “If you’ll lay down, Mrs. Bentley, and watch the screen, you’ll see your baby in just a minute.”
Emma held Jess’s hand as the doctor squeezed cold gel on her stomach. She was surprised to find they were both trembling in anticipation, watching as he moved a smooth device over her skin. Instructed to look at a monitor, Jess could only see what looked like a bad x-ray.
This was a baby? This was a mess. A black and white bunch of static.
“Oh, there’s the heart,” Emma breathed. Jess glanced up at her as if she’d lost her mind.
“Where? How can you tell?”
“Right here.” Doctor Anders pointed to a tiny, pulsating area then to others. “There’s the head. And look, he’s sucking his fist.” He seemed to be as excited as Emma was. “Do you see it?”
“Yes,” Jess whispered. She did see it now. She really was going to have a baby, and she felt the queerest sensation. “Uh, you said he? Is it a boy?”
“It’s too early to tell, Mrs. Bentley. That was just a figure of speech. Did you see him kick his leg?”
“This is too cool,” Emma exclaimed, squeezing Jess’s hand. “I’m going to be an aunt. And you’re going to be a mom. I can hardly wait. We’ve got so much shopping to do, so many things to get.”
“I’m glad you’re so happy,” Jess said, then grinned like a fool. It was true. She was really going to have Frank’s baby.
“Much as I enjoy this, ladies, I’m afraid the show’s over.” He pressed a button on the machine and handed Jess a printout of her baby. His or her first picture. “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll be back in a minute with a prescription for prenatal vitamins. I’ve also got a book that will give you all the information you need about diet, rest and the like.”
Emma decided that since Meijer’s had everything from a pharmacy to groceries to department store merchandise, they were going to stop off there and do some shopping. Jess followed her without protest while they dropped the prescription off, loaded the cart with the foods suggested in the book, and browsed through the infant aisles, all the while gazing at the picture of the baby.
“I wish the doctor could have said for sure whether it was a boy or a girl. Look at this.” Emma held up an adorable pink dress. “If I knew for sure, I’d buy it.”
Wanting to be the first to get gifts for her niece or nephew, Emma added a baby book, two sleepers a package of bibs, and a stuffed yellow bunny to the already full cart. Never mind that at four months, Jess still had five to go before the baby even arrived.
“I still can’t believe it,” Emma was saying, helping to put the purchases away after they’d returned to the apartment. “I can hardly wait to tell Ty. He’s going to be thrilled.”
“Then I guess that makes four of us.”
“Four?”
“I thought the doctor was kind of happy about it, too,” Jess said with a grin, putting milk and cheese in the mostly empty refrigerator.
“Yeah, he was, wasn’t he?” They looked at each other and started to laugh. Impulsively, Emma hugged Jess. “I can’t tell you how good it is to see you happy again. You are happy, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I never thought I would be without Frank, but I am, Em. Now I’ll always have a part of him with me.”
“Yes you will, sweetie.”
Emma was making big plans for a shopping spree on Saturday, two days away. She would do some detective work and find out what babies needed, besides the fun stuff, of course. They would get it all at Sear’s. They had the most adorable Winnie the Pooh things, didn’t they? And maternity clothes would soon be necessary, because Jess was in for a big surprise there. It would be a riot to see her with a big belly, wouldn’t it?
“Okay. I guess I should get going before Ty sends out a search party.” Everything put away, they were leaning against the kitchen counter, and Emma couldn’t think of any more excuses to hang around. “We’re on for Saturday?”
“Ten o’clock sharp.”
“And you’re going to have a healthy supper, and a banana and glass of milk before bed?”
“On my honor,” Jess smiled, crossing her heart.
“Make sure you rest, too. That’s really important. It says so right in the book. You should probably read it before you go to bed. But don’t stay up too late...”
“Emma, would you go home?” Jess laughed and took her by the arm, marching her to the door.
“You’ll be all right?” All merriment was gone; in its place sincere concern for her friend’s safety.
“I’ll be fine. After all, I’ve got to take care of Frank’s baby, don’t I?”
“Yes, you do. I know that’s what he’d want.”
“So do I. I promise I’ll be good,” Jess assured her.
“You’re sure?”
“I’m positive.” She kissed Emma’s cheek. “Thank you for stopping me from doing something stupid.”
“Haven’t I always stopped you from doing stupid things? That’s what sisters are for.”
“They’re also for throwing each other out when one has a husband at home waiting for his supper.”
“I hate to leave you. I’ll worry all night.”
“If it makes you feel any better, Em, take the gun. I don’t need it anymore.”
Emma didn’t wait for Jess to change her mind, tearing off to get it from wherever she’d hidden it earlier. If that didn’t set her mind at ease, Jess didn’t know what would. She’d nearly thrown this child away in an effort to end her pain. Now, thanks to Emma, her baby was safe. She wouldn’t do anything else to cause it harm.
“I’ll call you in the morning,” Emma said with a smile. “Not before nine, though. I want you to sleep in.”
“Bye, Em.”
“Bye, Mom.”
Jess smiled as she closed the door and went out to the kitchen to start her supper. Just a nuked chicken breast, with a baked potato and deli salad, but better than half a sandwich or piece of fruit eaten over the sink, as had been her recent habit.
What a day. Filled with despair, she’d been prepared to take Mulholland’s life, and then her own. Now, because of the new life growing inside her, she was happier than she’d been in a long time. Three and a half months, to be precise. There was something to hope for now. Someone to live for.
Satisfied that dinner was coming along nicely, she took the baby’s picture and sat in the recliner, opening the photo album to the eight by ten. Foolishly, she held the baby’s picture up to Frank’s and smiled tearfully.
“Look at what we made, sweetheart.” A small bit of sadness marred the happiness she’d felt since leaving the doctor’s office. “You would have been the best father in the world, Frank.”

~~~~~

Dan pulled into Logan Center’s parking lot, chose a space well away from the other vehicles, and parked. With a sigh, he leaned his head back and wished he could forget the meeting at his parents house. Molly and his mother hadn’t done much of anything except cry as the attorney talked with them. His father was obviously upset, but felt about the same as Dan. Bruce had known what he was doing, and it wouldn’t be right to try to get him out of this mess, but that was exactly what his mother, sister, and the lawyer planned to do. Or at least try.
If they couldn’t get him off, they wanted to try for the lightest sentence possible. Like alcoholism, drug addicts were ill, and not entirely responsible for their actions. At least that’s what the lawyer was going to say.
Dan would never forget his father taking him aside before he left – to tell him that he was going to the prosecutor’s office in the morning. As much as he loved his son, he felt that they needed to know about all the times Bruce had been treated in rehab. He’d had so many chances to turn his life around, and Nate Mulholland wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Bruce got off too lightly for taking the life of another. Dan had confessed that he’d planned to do the same thing, and they arranged to meet there to lend moral support to one another.
Now Dan had to live with the fact that he was going to help put the nails in Bruce’s coffin. He knew Bruce deserved everything he got but bittersweet memories kept pushing to the front of his mind. Of the brother he was once so close to but hadn’t been in years. He’d had such potential-  How could things have gotten so out of control?
He sighed and rested his forehead against the steering wheel. This time yesterday life was good. Normal. Now he doubted anything would ever be the same again. Didn’t see how it could be. Bruce-
When had he changed from a usually sweet natured teen into the stranger he’d been for as long as Dan could remember? About the time Bruce had gotten his driver’s license maybe. That seemed right. When he thought he was such hot stuff and befriended Neil, a good for nothing low-life.
By the time Dan and his folks had realized that something was wrong, it had been too late. Bruce had been hooked. First on the more affordable marijuana, then later on heroin. And he had to have it. No matter what the cost. At first he stole money from their mother’s purse. Then it escalated to stealing seldom-used things from around the house, like the good silver they only used on holidays and special occasions.
After that Bruce graduated to errand boy for his dealers, and finally to breaking and entering, actually serving several months in jail once.
Dan couldn’t count the number of times he’d talked to his brother. Begged him to help himself and turn his life around. And sometimes Bruce tried, checking in to rehab, and staying clean for a few weeks at a time. Those were the times when the brother he remembered resurfaced, and he always hoped that ‘this’ time it would be for good.
If only-
He straightened and smacked the steering wheel. All the ‘if onlys’ in the world wouldn’t help now. If they could, he would turn back time and prevent Bruce’s meeting Neil. Or he would have just given him the two hundred dollars that night. So many things he wished he could have done differently-
But right now there was only today. And all of the tomorrows when he would have to live with the knowledge that his actions, or lack of actions, had caused the death of another man. A newly married man with the whole future ahead of him. A husband, whose beautiful wife was left a grieving, heartbroken widow.
Well, Bruce had made his bed, and there was nothing he could do for him now. But maybe there was something he could do for Mrs. Bentley. Something that might ease a small portion of the guilt he felt.

~~~~~

After living on foods that could be fixed – and eaten – with minimal effort, it felt strange when Jess actually sat at the table to eat a meal. Strange, and a little lonely, with just one place setting. Maybe, until the baby was old enough to join her, she should get some TV trays and eat in the living room. Some things were still hard, and her joy too new, to risk spoiling.
So, she mentally added a set of trays to the hit and miss shopping list for Saturday, then washed the few dishes she’d dirtied.
Maternity clothes, Emma had said? Right. She still fit flush against the edge of the counter, so her stomach was as flat as ever. Wasn’t it? She hadn’t noticed the normal symptoms of pregnancy thus far. Maybe she’d missed this as well.
Self-consciously she went and lay on the sofa, pulling her bulky sweater up and craning her neck to look. Her jeans made it tough to see anything and she had to unzip them and push the denim aside.
There it was.
A slight but definite rounding, scarcely discernible even now, but certainly visible if you knew what you were looking for. She rested her hand against it, marveling again that the baby was okay, despite her negligence of its care.
But no more. She put herself back together and swung her feet to the floor, a look of determination on her face. From now on she was going to start putting the needs of this little one first, stop wallowing in self-pity and get on with the business of living.
At seven o’clock there wasn’t much she could do about it, except maybe some sorely needed dusting. After all, she wanted to bring her baby up in a neat home, didn’t she?
She’d just knelt down to get furniture polish from under the kitchen sink when the phone rang. It was probably Emma, still worrying over her safety, and ready to run over if she didn’t answer. Or it could be Frank’s father letting fly with more filthy names and vile accusations again. If it were the latter, she supposed she could just hang up.
“Hello?” Jess said reluctantly, tensing until she heard Detective Winslow’s voice. He obviously was relieved to hear hers.
“Mrs. Bentley, I hope you don’t mind, but I just wanted to make sure that you were all right.”
“I’m much better, thanks,” she told him, touched by his concern. “Thanks, too, for calling my friend.”
“She did come then?”
“Oh yes. And she dragged me off to the doctor.”
“Nothing serious, I hope.”
“No. Actually,” she hesitated for a moment then said shyly, “it looks like I’m going to have a baby.”
“What?” He couldn’t have been more surprised if she’d told him she’d sprouted another head.
“I know. I couldn’t believe it myself but he said I’m due the first part of May.”
“Well congratulations. You must be very happy.” It was more a question than an observation, a fishing trip to assure himself it was true.
“Yes, I am. It’s the best news I’ve had in a long time.”
“I’m sure I it is. And you had no idea?”
“Not a clue.”
“Amazing. Simply amazing.”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“Amazing,” Winslow repeated, pausing several seconds before clearing his throat to continue. “I guess I should go now. Mrs. Bentley, you take care of yourself”
This time she responded to the comment.
“I’ll do that, thank you.”
It took all of Jess’s strength to not give in to the depression threatening to bring her down again. But she refused to let it get the best of her. She had to think about the baby, and set about finding something to take her mind off the detective, and the man sitting behind bars now. The thick layer of dust covering everything in the apartment seemed like the perfect way to do it.
It wasn’t long before the living room was sparkling clean, the entertainment center the only thing left to be done. She stood in the middle of the floor, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, just looking at it.
Frank hadn’t actually lived with the other things so it hadn’t been hard to clean them. This was a different matter entirely. Except to play some of the CDs they’d danced to as she looked at the photo album, the last person to handle everything on the shelves had been Frank – the day before they’d married.
To wipe away the dust would be like wiping away his touch, one of the last remnants of his presence.
“I can’t,” she finally murmured, deciding she’d done enough for one day.
Maybe she’d try again tomorrow. Or ask Emma to do it. Or just leave it as a tribute to the husband who would never touch it again.
Her mind made up, she turned toward the kitchen to put the polish and rag away when she was interrupted again, this time by a knock at the door. Good grief. It had been like Grand Central Station around here today. Setting the things on the table and brushing her hands on her pant legs, she walked over and opened it.
“Mrs. Bentley?” The tall, dark haired man standing there appeared to be uncomfortable, like he’d rather be anywhere else but on her landing.
“Yes?” Jess closed the door a little, not caring if she seemed rude. She knew from experience that darkness and strangers could be lethal.
“I wasn’t sure if I should come but...” He paused, like he was trying to gather his thoughts. Jess waited impatiently, wishing he would state his business and go away. “I- I wanted you to know how sorry I am about what happened and to tell you that if you need anything, and I mean anything at all, you only need call me and it’s yours.”
“That’s a very generous offer,” Jess told him, looking at him curiously.
“One I hope you accept. Anything you need. Anything.”
“I’m afraid I’m at a loss here. Do I know you?” Perhaps he’d been at the funeral and she just didn’t remember his face.
“No, we’ve never met.”
“Then might I ask who you are?”
“I hesitate to tell you my name,” he sighed, running a well-manicured hand through his hair.
“Then maybe you should leave.” She felt a twinge of fear and closed the door a few more inches, holding her breath when he reached inside his overcoat. She let it out slowly when she saw he only took out a business card. Clearly he didn’t want to let go of it when she reached out to take it. “Daniel....Mulholland?”
“Let me explain. Please,” he said quickly, seeing her distress.
“How dare you come here?” Jess asked, trying to slam the door. Anticipating the move, he stopped it with his foot. “Let it go.”
“Just give me a chance to explain,” he begged, his expression anguished.
“No. I don’t want to hear it. I can’t imagine why you thought I’d accept anything from you. So just go away and leave me alone.”
“I only want to help,” he insisted. “To try to undo some of the damage my brother has caused you.”
“Damage? You call murdering my husband damage?” This came out in a shout.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just want to do something.”
“Since you can’t bring Frank back there isn’t a blessed thing you can do except go away.”
“Mrs. Bentley, please, there must be something you need. Money is no object.” Jess nearly screamed when he said that. Did he think that all the money in the world would make up for losing Frank?
“What I need is my husband. What I need is to have him here to help me raise our baby. The only way you could have helped me was to have your filthy monster of a brother locked up before he had a chance to ruin our lives.”
“You have a baby?” he choked, all color leaving his face.
“Not yet. Not until spring. But your brother made sure I’ll go through this alone, too, didn’t he?” she hissed furiously at him.
“Oh God, I am so sorry...”
“Save it. Now leave before I call the police. We don’t need anything from you.”
“My offer still stands,” he said quietly, moving his foot away from the door. Her only answer was the resounding slam of it in his ears.


CHAPTER 4

“Bruce, what have you done?” Dan muttered, climbing into his gray Park Avenue. He hit the steering wheel with his fist before wiping a hand across his eyes.
Oh man- This was worse than he’d first imagined. A baby? Wasn’t it bad enough that a woman had lost her husband? Now to find that an innocent child must suffer the consequences of a stupid, selfish act. It didn’t bear thinking about. Nothing would please him more than to beat his brother to within an inch of his life.
Instead, he started the car, flooring the gas pedal so the engine thundered before squealing out of the parking lot. He didn't notice the startled glances from passersby as he sped away.
What did it matter if he got a ticket? They might as well arrest him and thrown him in the jail cell with Bruce. He couldn’t have been guiltier if he’d pulled the trigger himself.
“It figures,” he growled when he caught the red light at the next intersection. This day was getting better and better.
Impatient, he drummed a finger against the dash. He’d tried. He'd made the effort to go to her and try to do what he could to right the situation. But she didn’t want his help. Didn't want it? Yeah, right. She'd nearly knocked him over the railing when she slammed that door in his face. So he should just accept her decision and let well enough alone.
Except he couldn't. Not now. Especially not now. There had to be something she would accept.
Perhaps he could start a college fund for the baby. Maybe send her anonymous money orders. Buy her a house even. Something to make sure that she and the child didn’t suffer any more than necessary.
His tires screamed again when the traffic signal changed and he headed out of town and toward Charlotte. Soon the lights of Lansing were nothing but a glow in the rear view mirror. The miles passed in a blur as his thoughts raced from one idea to another.
The trouble was, how was he going to get her to accept anything? Actually, he could understand how she might have trouble accepting anything from a Mulholland. But she would. In the end he would have his way. Maybe he should push the baby angle. For the baby’s sake. That might work.
That settled, he still didn’t feel like going home to his big, empty, quiet house. He knew that all he would do there was obsess over the situation, exactly what he was doing now. And so he turned the radio on low and continued to drive, skirting town and the distractions that came with it, gliding over miles of the outlaying country roads. For whatever reason, solitary drives tended to calm him, giving him time to figure out solutions to almost every problem. Too bad it wasn't really helping tonight.
Of course he'd never been involved in such a tragic circumstance before either. Sure, he'd faced situations involving death in the past. It had just about broken his heart when his great-grandmother died three years ago. The difference between that and this, though, was that she had been old. Very old. Mrs. Bentley's husband had been a young man, in the prime of his life. And it had been Dan's own flesh and blood that ended it. His brother was a murderer.
He couldn't think about that. The time would be better spent figuring out what to do here. He had plenty of powerful friends. Maybe between them they could concoct a ‘long lost relative,’ and the inevitable inheritance that would come with it. Cal’s brother-in-law was an attorney. Perhaps he could be prevailed upon to come up with some bogus, legal looking documentation that Mrs. Bentley wouldn't question. Mitch couldn't be connected in any real way to the Mulholland's. It just might work.
"Well, are you going to just sit out here all night or get out of the car and come inside? We've been waiting for you."
It took a few seconds before Dan realized that Sam hadn't materialized out of thin air. He didn't recall turning onto Stine Road. Didn't have a clue, until this moment, that he had parked in his friend’s driveway. Shoot, he hadn't even heard Sam open his door.
"Earth to Dan," Sam said, but his tone gentle. "Is anyone home in there?"
"Sam?"
"You really are out of it, aren't you, buddy? Come inside where it's warm."
"You said 'we've' been waiting?"
"Yeah. The guys came out right after work. Even the coach is here. He's pretty bummed, too. Worried that you might hold it against him."
"Hold what against him?" Dan asked.
"Well, when Bruce decided to turn himself in, he went to Ed. And I think he'd rather have cut his throat than arrest your brother."
"You tell him that the only person I blame is Bruce," he said flatly. "Ed wasn’t in the parking lot trying to rob someone, and he didn’t murder Frank Bentley. No. That was all my baby brother."
"Settle down," Sam soothed, reaching in and clasping his shoulder. "We know who did it. Come inside, and you can tell him yourself."
"She's going to have a baby," Dan said quietly, looking up into Sam's eyes. "Did you know that?"
"Yeah. Ed called her a while ago and she told him. He said she sounded happy about it."
"I guess that must have been before I showed up, huh?" He almost laughed at the startled expression on Sam's face. Almost.
"What? You went to see her?"
"Sure did. I thought I could maybe help her in some way."
"Uh-oh."
"Yeah. She wasn't real open to that." He knew Sam could see that, for some reason, her refusal had upset him.
"I'll bet. Come on. The guys are waiting. We'll put our heads together and help you figure something out."
Dan finally got out of his car. Sam leaned in to turn it, and the headlights off, and tossed him the keys before they headed toward the massive, two story house. He could see the other three standing in the picture window. Thank God for good friends, because he really needed them now.

~~~~~

“What was I supposed to do, Em, welcome him with open arms?” Jess asked, sitting at the kitchen table. She’d been trying to eat a little bit of chocolate pudding, and come up with a list of the things she should get for the baby, all while trying to balance the phone between her shoulder and ear. She’d just given Emma a detailed account of the incident last night and was surprised when she took his side.
“Maybe not exactly welcomed him, but he isn’t responsible for what his brother did.”
“I don’t really care.” What she did care about was finding someone who could tell her what to add to this list. Even she knew a crib, diapers, and bottles wouldn’t be enough.
“Think of the baby, Jess. Frank’s life insurance won’t last forever, you know.”
“We had savings, too.” She tapped the pen down the short list, only half listening to Emma. Did they sell books for ignorant mothers?
“Fine. So you’ll be all right for what? Five, six years? Then what? You know you can’t stay in a one-bedroom apartment forever. You’re going to have to move sooner or later.”
Now, that did get Jess’s attention. The move was definitely going to have to come sooner, she realized. With an adults-only clause in the lease, there wasn’t any choice.
“And what about later?” Emma continued. “School? Lord it’s going to cost a fortune to clothe him. Not to mention things like medical care, toys, and braces, and college. God in heaven, don’t say no without giving this some thought.”
“I don’t need to think about it at all. What would Frank say if he knew I was thinking about raising our child with money from the family of the man who killed him?”
“As long as the money didn’t come from an illegal source, I doubt he’d care. I think he’d be more concerned about the welfare of his child than about where the money came from.”
“Are you saying I’m not concerned about the baby?” Jess demanded, her voice rising in indignation.
“No, I’m not. I’m saying as long as the money comes from a legal source, you should take it.”
“What about a moral source? Doesn’t that matter?”
“Are we talking about morality or pride?” Emma asked quietly. “How long will pride let you stay home and raise your baby? You always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, right? Well, you’re going to have to go back to work about the time he or she starts school. That means daycare, Jess. What good is your pride going to do you then?”
Daycare. Jess wrinkled her nose in disgust. In her opinion, day care was no better than many of the foster homes she’d grown up in. No matter what, she wasn’t going to put the welfare of her child in the hands of anyone else.
“I’ll think of something by then,” she said, her stubbornness kicking into high gear. “Now if you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” The subject was officially closed.
“Fine, then let’s talk about the way you treated your visitor last night.”
“Let’s not.” Jess tried to concentrate on the list again, failing as Emma plunged in anyway. She threw the pen against the table angrily. It slid off the edge and hit the floor with a clatter.
“You know you weren’t fair to him.”
“Gee, isn’t that too bad?” she asked sarcastically. “Life isn’t always fair, is it? And I guess I know a little something about that, don’t I? In fact, I think I’m pretty much an expert on that subject, aren’t I?”
“Jess...”
“I’m the one whose husband was murdered, Emma. I’m the one who has to tell our child why he doesn’t have a father. Do you think I care whether I’m being fair or not?”
“No, I don’t suppose you do.” Emma sighed, frustrated. “You know I wouldn’t hurt you for the world, but I have to say this. If you’d stop feeling sorry for yourself long enough to look at someone else, you might see that other people in the world hurt, too. Even Daniel Mul...”
Jess had never hung up on her friend before, but she did now, slamming the receiver down with such force Emma wouldn’t have to wonder how offended she was.
How dare she take Mulholland’s side in this? She should have stood by her side like the friend she claimed to be. She should have been as appalled by his appearance as she had been but Emma, Emma, had turned on her like a snake.
Angrily, restlessly, she began pacing the length of the kitchen.
The walls felt like they were closing in on her. For months they had sheltered her from the world outside. Her refuge. A place to hide while she tried to come to grips with all that had happened. Now she felt suffocated, but now she needed to get out. To breathe some fresh air. To clear her head.
Dressing warmly in a red parka and white hat and mittens, she set off for a walk in the frigid, mid-November air. A brisk wind was blowing, stinging the exposed skin on her face, and she knew she wouldn’t stay out long. Just a few blocks, then straight back home. No use in putting the baby at risk by her catching a cold. She laid one hand over her abdomen as she strolled.
Much as she’d hoped the walk would help, it didn’t. Instead, Jess found herself dwelling on the things Emma had said. Talk about a lack of loyalty from the person who, only the day before, claimed her for a sister. Her sympathies should be for the mother of the niece or nephew she was so excited about. And on Frank, whose life was cut short by the brother of the man she now chose to defend.
Frank deserved it all. Only him. The man who made Jess laugh. The man who rubbed her shoulders after a rough day at work. The man who loved her so much he married her, despite his father’s fury. A bitter old man who hated Jess so passionately, she'd been forced to endure countless phone calls since the funeral, just so he could take his anger out on her. Blame her because his son was dead.
Jess kicked at a small mound of snow. Bad enough to be angry with Emma and Daniel Mulholland, now she was thinking about that creep again.
The man had done everything in his power to dissuade Frank from dating her. And his fury knew no bounds when Frank announced his intention to actually marry her. Phillip was sure that Jess was a gold digger, only interested in his son because of his huge bank account. If Frank went through with 'it,' he would be out of Phillip's will before he could blink an eye. And he’d done it, too.
Not that it had mattered to either Frank or Jess. All that money hadn't given Frank a happy childhood. And happiness was all he’d wanted out of his short life. But Phillip hadn’t been able to understand that, refusing to even speak to his son in the month before he'd been killed.
Then he’d shown up at the funeral, reveling in the role of grief-stricken father, blaming Jess for Frank’s death, and letting everyone within earshot know he held her responsible.
Jess hadn’t felt an ounce of compassion for him. He didn’t deserve it. What Frank needed had never been important. Only appearances. Bentley’s didn’t marry beneath themselves, and a daughter-in-law who had been raised a ward of the state was not acceptable. Until Frank came to his senses, as far as Phillip was concerned, he was dead.
“I guess the joke was on you, Phil,” Jess whispered. Frank truly was dead to him now.
It was sad that he'd never known what a wonderful man Frank had turned out to be. So different than his father. Gentle, tender, considerate, sweet... Impressing people never mattered to Frank. He hadn't cared a wit that Jess was an orphan, a nobody. Phillip cared though. Very much.
Arrogant old man. With that sorry excuse for a father, it was a miracle Frank turned out to be such a wonderful man.
“Stop it,” she chided herself. This wasn’t doing a bit of good. She was supposed to be thinking of positive things, not concentrating on the people who angered her.
She forced herself to pay attention to the beauty surrounding her. Didn’t the snow, shimmering in the sunlight, make the trees and bushes look like someone poured glittering, pure white frosting over them? And the kids across the street, laughing joyously as they built a snow fort, occasionally pelting one another with snowballs. Weren’t they carefree?
So many things that should be helping to lift her spirits, if she’d only let them. The Santa and sleigh in the yard she was approaching. The lovely wreath with the red bow adorning it hanging on a front door. One family getting ready to celebrate Christmas. A little too soon but still…
Whoa. This wasn’t helping either. Early decorating should be outlawed out of respect for people like her. People who would be spending the holidays alone because some animal had to kill her husband.
Her mood not improved one bit, Jess turned and headed for the apartment. Maybe she would read. Yeah. She could lose herself in a book for hours. It was a good way to avoid thinking, and to forget, at least temporarily, her problems.
A bit chilled, the warmth that greeted her, was a welcome relief. She shed her outerwear, and headed for the kitchen. Hot cocoa sounded good, and she mixed the ingredients up in a small pan. Chocolate and a good story. The combination would make for a relaxing, stress-free afternoon.
The thought came from left field, as she stood at the stove, condemning her for her actions the night before. In the same way Phillip Bentley wasn’t responsible for the way Frank had turned out, neither was Daniel Mulholland to blame for his brother’s actions. Emma was right.
He’d come out of compassion, and she treated him horribly. Maybe she didn’t want his help, but that was no excuse for the awful things she’d said. Filled with shame, she knew she owed him an apology.
Turning the burner low, Jess glanced at the cupboard under the sink. The cupboard where she kept the wastebasket. The wastebasket where she’d thrown his business card after crumpling it into a little ball. After she'd slammed the door in his face.
She bent down and reached, taking the card out and smoothing it as best she could. Wiping a spot of butter from the corner, she wondered how one apologized for such behavior. More importantly, how did one work up the nerve to make the call in the first place?
She closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at his name, and said a prayer that it might be gone when she opened them. Nope. Still there.
Darn.


CHAPTER 5

“Mulholland Real Estate,” a pleasant female vice said, once she forced herself to pick up the phone and punch the numbers in. She didn’t know if she could go through with this. “Hello?”
“I... I’d...uh...like to speak with Daniel Mulholland please.” Not true, but the ball was rolling now.
“I’m sorry. He’s not available at the moment. If I could have your name, and the number where you can be reached, I’ll have him return your call shortly.”
“Oh. I...uh...” Jeez. Could she work up the courage to do this again?
“It won’t take long,” the voice said, then laughed. “I promise.”
“All right.” Might as well get it over. “My name is Jess Bentley and he can phone me at-”
“Mrs. Bentley? Could you hold for just a moment please?” Before Jess had a chance to answer, she found herself listening to some upbeat classical music, though it ended almost as abruptly as it had begun.
“Mrs. Bentley?” This time the voice was deep and masculine, and she recognized it as belonging to Daniel Mulholland. Apparently he was now available.
“Mr. Mulholland. Your secretary said you were busy.” She should have just written him a short note, because this was harder than she thought it would be.
“It’s nothing that can’t wait.”
“I really don’t want to bother you,” she murmured, trying to delay the inevitable. 
“It’s no bother. I told her to put you through immediately if you called.”
“You’re sure? I can wait for a more convenient time.” Now that she had him on the phone, she wanted to be rid of him in the worst way. Apologizing was a humbling experience, and she had yet to do it.
“Mrs. Bentley, I’m glad you called. I’m especially happy you’ve given my offer some thought, because I meant what I said. I want to help.” He sounded so sincere Jess almost hated to disappoint him.
“That’s not why I called.”
“No?”
“No. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. About the things I said last night.” There. She’d done it.
“You’re sorry?” That seemed to stun him. “Believe me, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“That’s kind of you to say, but we both know I was out of line.” She toyed with the phone cord, waiting for him to accept so she could hang up.
“If our positions were reversed, I’m sure I’d feel the same way.” She remained silent, and he asked, “Do you have everything you need for your baby?”
“Not yet. I just found out about it yesterday, but my friend and I are going shopping for a few things tomorrow. To be honest, I don’t even know what I’m going to need.” She heard him chuckle.
“Neither do I, but I’ll find out for you.” He hesitated a moment before saying. “I’ve opened a charge account for you at Sear’s.”
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Jess gasped. Lord but the man was stubborn.
“I’ll do whatever I can to make sure your baby has everything your husband would have provided, Mrs. Bentley.” His tone was cajoling, trying to talk her into accepting the things he insisted on giving her.
“Mr. Mulholland, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but believe me, it isn’t necessary.”
“Well, why don’t we discuss it over coffee? Better yet, lunch. It’s quarter to eleven. I can pick you up in say, half an hour?”
“But...”
“I’ll see you then.”
Jess heard the quiet click, and could only stare at the receiver, wondering if the man had a hearing problem. Or a mental deficiency that prevented him from understanding that she didn’t want anything from him. Slowly, she hung up the phone, a startled scream escaping from her when it rang before she‘d even moved her hand away. 
“Jess, it’s me,” Emma said quickly. “Don’t hang up. I want to apologize for what I said earlier. I don’t want to lose our friendship over this, so I could care less what you say to the man. I‘ll support you in whatever decision you need to make, only just don‘t be mad at me, okay?” Only Emma could manage to say so many words in one short breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be,” Jess said with a smile. “You were right.” Having expressed it to the man in question made it easier to say it to her friend. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“What?”
“You were right,” she repeated, laughing at Emma’s surprise. It wasn’t often she admitted outright to being wrong. “As a matter of fact, I just hung up from apologizing to him.”
“Are you serious?”
“Completely.” She told Emma about their conversation, right up to the end. “So would you call him for me? Tell him thank you, but I’d really rather he not come. Please?”
“No. I think you should go.”
“Emma.” Like a child, Jess stamped her foot.
“Jess, listen. The man is determined to help you, so let him. Honey, anything he does will stretch the money you have, and postpone you having to go to work. If you can’t accept it for yourself, do it for the baby.”
And so Jess found herself changing into a pair of black slacks and a soft white sweater. It wouldn’t do to go to a business lunch looking like a slob. And this was a business lunch. Nothing more.

~~~~~

"So you've got yourself a date, eh?" Dan pressed the speaker phone off, and looked up. Jon Rambo was sitting on the edge of his desk. All six and a half feet of him. He was rolling up the blueprints they’d been going over before Jess Bentley’s call. "Think she'll actually go out with you?"
"I hope so," Dan admitted. "But not because it's a date. It's not. I just want to help her."
"Serve you right if she sends you packing. You can’t bully someone into going anywhere with you. And if she does go along with it, it does qualify as a date, you know. Man picks up woman, takes her out for a meal. Yeah, that’s a date."
"I'm not going to argue with you," Dan said, scowling.
"That's because you know you wouldn't win." Jon stuffed the papers in a cardboard tube, and straightened to look at him. "But I hope she does go, for your sake. I’ve never understood why you feel like you have to fix whatever anyone screws up. Or why you feel like you need to fix Bruce’s mess. But at least now you’ll be happy. Happier."
"I don't fix everything..."
"I'm not going to argue with you,” he said, parroting Dan’s flippant response. “All I stopped by for was to show you these. Sam’s a genius, and we're going to make a fortune off this subdivision. After he dropped them off this morning I called Cal. He's even going to part with some money to get in on this."
"Sam's always been a genius, Einstein. And I think Cal regrets not investing in the last deal. He knows how much he lost. But right now, I've got more important things to worry about. Hey, Jon? I don‘t suppose you know anything about babies?
 "Oh right. I don‘t know the first thing about them, and I never intend to learn," Jon said, backing toward the door, and escape. Dan laughed at his appalled expression.
"Coward. All I wanted to do is pick your brain for a minute."
"My brain? About what?" His hand was on the door knob. “Babies?”
"What babies need." He snickered, opening the door and inching out a few steps.
"Have fun, Dan. This is going to be like the blind leading the blind. I almost wish I could be there to see it. Almost."
Dan scowled, but Jon was already gone. And he was running out of time. What did babies need?

~~~~~

Sitting on the couch to slip into her knee high snow boots Jess couldn’t help but dread the next hour or so. Lunch with a man. It could be misconstrued as a date to unknowing observers. And it brought back memories of similar dates with Frank. Would there ever come a time when she didn’t miss him?
Feeling the sting of tears, she pushed those thoughts away and walked to the bathroom to brush her hair, before tying it at the nape of her neck with a black ribbon. As an afterthought, she applied a light coral lipstick. Funny, but she looked almost normal again. Just in time, too, as the peal of the doorbell announced his arrival.
Capping the tube and replacing it in the drawer, she hurried to the coat closet and then reluctantly, to greet her escort.

~~~~~

“I see you’re ready,” Dan said with a smile. He’d had doubts that she would even come, let alone open the door looking this lovely.
“You did say half an hour.”
“So I did. Here, let me help you with that.” He held the gray dress coat while she slipped her arms inside, waiting patiently as she buttoned it. Lovely? No, she was downright beautiful, with the white fur collar brushing her delicate jaw line. “Ready to go?”
“Just let me get my purse.” She walked to where it lay beside the recliner, then hurried back. “Ready.”
As they walked along the landing, Dan put his hand against the small of her back, mildly surprised when she didn’t protest. Perhaps she realized that his only motive in touching her was to prevent a slip that might result in injury to the baby.
She was such a tiny thing, the top of her head just clearing his shoulder. Too bad her husband wasn’t here to look after and protect her.
“Mrs. Bentley?” a man asked, standing halfway down the stairs. A second guy stood near him holding a camera. Dan knew that they were reporters, and was glad he was here to shield her from their invasive questions. “Is it true that you’re expecting your dead husband’s child?”
“Leave her alone,” Dan muttered, putting his arm around Jess, and elbowing past the men. She hid her face against his side, trusting him to get her safely away. He wouldn’t let her down.
“Is it also true that you went to the police station yesterday to kill Bruce Mulholland?”
Dan’s step faltered for a moment before he urged Jess to hurry. The reporters wouldn’t give up, hounding them every inch of the way.
“Detective Edward Winslow was quoted as saying you were suicidal. Is that true?”
He wasted no time getting Jess in the passenger seat, and himself in the driver’s. Then they were speeding away, with any luck, before they could be followed. He wound his way through the maze of a nearby subdivision just to make sure. After discovering she liked Mexican food, he headed out Waverly Road, toward the Chi-Chi’s on West Saginaw.
“Is it true,” Dan finally asked. “What he said back there?”
“Yes.” Hands clasped tightly in her lap, Jess stared intently out the window and watched the passing scenery. The Grand River, snow covered in the spots that had iced over already, and Deepdale Cemetery, looking cheerful under its brilliant white blanket. She admired all of the fancy houses owned by some of the cities wealthiest residents.
“I see.” She was sure he did, and was afraid to look at him and see the fury in his eyes.
“If you want to take me home, it’s all right. I tried to tell you that you didn’t need to help.”
“Why would I want to take you home?” he asked, passing a car driven by an elderly man who was creeping along at all of fifteen miles an hour.
“Because, if Detective Winslow hadn’t stopped me, I would have killed your brother.” Instead of being angry, she heard him laugh softly.
“That thought has crossed my mind a number of times lately. No, I meant the suicidal part.”
“The thought has crossed my mind,” she said, echoing his sentiment. He reached over to cover her hands with his.
“Please don’t do that. I realize this is a terrible time for you, but you must think of the baby.”
“I’m not going to,” Jess assured him. “I only found out about the baby yesterday. I didn’t even know when I when I went to the station.” 
He squeezed her hands gently before returning his own to the steering wheel. Thank God. She’d been in his thoughts constantly since he’d met her last night. And it shocked him that her admission had made him afraid. He vowed she wouldn’t have reason to consider anything like that again. He’d see that her future suffering was minimal. He didn’t know how, but he would find a way.

~~~~~

“Have you decided what you’d like, Ma’am?” the perky blond waitress asked. They’d been given ample time to look the menu over, but Jess still still seemed hesitant. “Do you need a few more minutes?”
“I....no.” She rattled off the name of the only meal she recalled, and smiled when Dan ordered the same. He sure hoped she knew what they would be eating because he didn’t have a clue. Not bothering to write it down, the waitress walked away, promising it wouldn’t be long.
Jess kept her hands folded primly in front of her, while Dan fidgeted with his napkin, rolling and unrolling one corner like it was the most interesting thing he’d done all day. He hadn’t expected the situation to be quite this tense and, now that he’d convinced her to at least talk to him, he wasn’t entirely sure what to say.
Commenting on the lively Spanish tunes being piped into the room amounted to dull conversation, as would any reference to the distinctive, cheerful decor.
He was a realtor, for heaven’s sake. A successful realtor who owned his own business and dealt with the public on a daily basis. Surely he should be able to come up with something to say.
“So you like Mexican food.” Smooth, Dan. Really smooth. Jess only nodded her head, a sick little smile curving her lips. He took a sip of Coke, swallowing hard. “I talked to my secretary before I left. She's got five kids, and about ten thousand grandkids.” Jess chuckled at the exaggeration, and Dan felt an odd sensation in the region of his stomach. Probably hunger pangs. He hadn't eaten any of the pizza at Sam’s house last night, and nothing yet today. He reached for a tortilla chip from the basket the waitress had brought out, and scooped up a little salsa. These would have to do for now.
“She didn’t mind?”
“Not at all.” He recited from the list she’d given him. A crib, high chair, changing table, play pen, bassinet, bathinette, diapers, kimonos, sleepers, heavy blankets, receiving blankets, crib sheets, spit up rags... "What are spit up rags?"
“I have no idea. But all that?” Dan smiled at her wide eyed stare.
“You said it. Who would have thought that such tiny human beings would need so many things?” He reached in the pocket of his suit jacket and withdrew a long wallet, pulled out a Sear’s charge card and slid it across the table. “We’ll make a list of the things you need before I take you home, and you and your friend can pick it all up tomorrow. I’ll meet you there, and arrange to have it all delivered next week.”
“Oh, you can’t,” Jess started to protest but he raised his hand to stop her argument.
“Don’t say it. I mean to do this for you, and I won’t take no for an answer.”
“I wasn’t going to argue,” she assured him with a smile. A real one this time. He hoped their food was done. Soon. “Emma convinced me I really do need some help. But she also reminded me that children aren’t allowed in my building.”
“So you have to move.”
“Yes. It doesn’t make much sense to have anything delivered when it’s just going to have to be moved again anyway.”
“Good thing you’re talking to me then. Don’t worry about the apartment. I’ll have another one lined up by the end of the day.”
~~~~~

Nothing like taking over, Jess thought mildly. He reminded her of a caged bull, impatient to charge ahead with all of the plans he made during the meal. Amazingly, she wasn’t particularly put out by it.
Less than twenty-four hours ago, she’d practically hated the man. Now it was a relief to let him take on some of the responsibilities she might otherwise have to deal with on her own. And he didn’t seem to mind at all, deciding first one thing, and then another. She couldn’t have stopped him, even if she’d wanted to. Well, she could have, but it was just easier to let him take charge. At least for a little while.
“Mrs. Bentley?” Jess looked at him, realizing he must have tried to get her attention before this, and was embarrassed. Somehow, her thoughts had drifted away from what he’d been saying.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Our waitress wants to know if you’d like some dessert.”
“Oh. No, I guess not.”
“Are you sure?” She mulled the offer over for a moment.
“Well, they don’t have brownies here, so no. That’s all right.”
“We do have fried ice cream,” the waitress suggested.
“No thank you.” For some reason an almost overpowering urge for brownies had hit her the moment she’d said the word, and now she could hardly wait to get home and make some.
“Just give us the check please.” Dan leaned across the table and said, his voice low, “I know a place not far from here that sells the best brownies I’ve ever had. We’ll stop on the way home.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Jess protested weakly. She adored brownies, and knew her eyes were glazing over at the thought. Dan laughed again.
“I think I do.”
“Westside Deli?” she thought when Dan pulled in to the strip mall across the street? Jess thought they only sold pizzas, but that was where Dan stopped, leaving her in the car while he ran inside. He was a trusting soul, letting it run so she could stay warm. Park Avenues weren’t cheap, and someone less law-abiding than she was might take it in to their head to steal it.
After several minutes, she wondered what was taking him so long? Through the window she could see that he was the only customer at the counter. Were they making the darned things from scratch? She wanted one so bad she could hardly stand it, and wished he’d hurry up. When she saw the employee hand him a pizza box, along with a small sack, she was a little irritated.
Did he think she had nothing better to do than wait while he got food for whoever it was he was getting it for? Because he’d certainly eaten enough lunch to hold him for a while. Besides, now that she’d seen the box, pizza sounded good, too. Ham, with lots of gooey, chewy cheese.
“I cleaned ‘em out, Jess,” Dan said with a sheepish grin, sliding behind the wheel and handing her the box. Somehow, before leaving the restaurant, they’d gotten on a first name basis. Jess still wasn’t sure how, or even if, she liked the idea.
“Cleaned them out?”
“These,” he held up the sack, “are for now. Those are for later.” He lifted the lid on the box to reveal a dozen or more large squares of the frosted chocolate confection. “You can eat brownies to your heart’s content.”
“These are for me?” Jess stared at him, awed that he’d done this for her. And she’d gotten angry with him for taking so long.
“Every one,” he said, still grinning foolishly. “Here.” He handed her one from the bag, and took the other for himself. “I guarantee you they’re the best in town.”
“Oh, they are,” Jess groaned, rudely talking with her mouth full.
She closed her eyes, savoring the rich chocolate flavor while Dan watched, looking exceedingly pleased with himself. He was probably realizing that it didn’t take much to make her happy. Happy? No, these were so good she was downright ecstatic, and she’d finished the entire thing down soon after he pulled out of the parking lot.
“That was wonderful. Thank you.”
“Then have another.” She glanced at the square he held in his hand, the one he hadn’t even taken a bit of yet.
“No, I shouldn’t.” She shook her head, even as she eyed the box. She could wait until she was alone. She could.
“But you want one, don’t you?” he cajoled. Keeping his eyes on the road, he reached over, lifting the lid of the box again. “Don’t pass it up on my account.”
“I’ll probably gain ten pounds.”
“So what? Isn’t it better to gain weight eating something you love, instead of something you only like?”
“Good point, I think.”
Jess blushed and took another, thumbing her nose at good manners. Manners and brownies didn’t mix, and she would tear into them with gusto once she was alone. At least this time she forced herself to eat it slowly enough so it lasted the rest of the way home.
“For crying out loud,” Dan muttered, pulling into the parking lot at Jess’s apartment. Vehicles of all kinds, sporting the names of local television and radio stations, were parked everywhere, with a small mob reporters waiting at the foot of the stairs.
“Oh no,” Jess whispered, recalling how relentless they’d been after the shooting.
Dan took control, muttering under his breath something about the prospect of having to deal with this mess. Then he said he was going to drive her directly to the stairway so she could get out there. If she were lucky, maybe he would run over a few of the jerks in the process. Serve them right for ruining what had turned into a delightful afternoon.
“When I stop you hightail it up the stairs,” he told her, his tone low, even though no one would have been able to hear him anyway. “I’ll be right behind you. And, Jess, get your keys out now.”
“Right.” She fumbled through her purse, thankful that he was able to keep his cool. Even on such short acquaintance, he’d discovered that Dan Mulholland was a man who could be counted on, and she felt the tiniest bit of guilt about the nasty way she’d treated him the night before. Never mind if it hadn’t been for him, she wouldn’t be out here now.
Amid many loud complaints and curses, Dan eased the car through the throng, finally stopping with the passenger door at the foot of the steps. He urged her to go, sliding across the seat quickly to follow her, but he wasn’t fast enough. Two of the men had already climbed across the hood and were right behind her. Dan caught up quickly, his long legs overtaking them, and then he was shoving them back so he could stay directly behind her.
“Jess- Thank God you’re okay.” A striking black couple stood outside Jess’s door, waiting anxiously. With all the commotion, he hadn't noticed them until now.
“Get out of the way,” Jess hissed, jabbing the key in the lock and opening the door. All four piled inside, Dan slamming and locking it behind them.
Jess hurried to the cocktail table, setting the pizza box down, and whipping the lid open. “Oh good. They’re okay.”
“What?” the woman asked, peeking over her shoulder. She burst out laughing, and looked at the man. “Brownies.” The man laughed, too.
“Well, I had to up end it when I was running,” Jess said, planting her hands on her hips. “I was afraid I might have ruined them.”
“With all the mess out there, you were worried about cakes?” the man asked, holding his sides because he was laughing so hard.
“This isn’t cake. They’re brownies. And I was worried about the reporters at first.” She cuffed the man on the arm. “But these are so good, I didn’t want anything to happen to them.”
Dan watched the goings-on with no small amount of amusement. He knew, indeed, how upset she’d been when they’d pulled in, but little did he know just how much she loved the sweet treats in the box.
He turned his attention to the couple at her side. The woman was gorgeous. Tall and lithe, her shoulder length hair falling to her shoulders in hundreds, maybe thousands of ringlets. The man beside her looked like a mountain, capable of offering all the protection she, or anyone else, might require.
“Well, if they’re that good, can I have one?” the woman asked. Her amusement, it seemed, had given way to curiosity.
“I don’t know if I want to share them with someone who’s laughing at me, Emma.” Ah. So this was Emma.
“I’m sorry, but you must admit it was funny.”
“Apparently your husband thinks so.” Emma cuffed him this time, and it was Dan’s turn to laugh.
“Shut up, Ty.”
“You two,” Ty said with a chuckle. “My girls love their brownies.”
“Do tell,” Dan said with a grin, holding out his hand for a firm-gripped shake. “Dan Mulholland.”
“Ty Lanning. The drooling one over there is my wife, Emma.” Emma shot him a furious look, then eyed the contents of the box again.
“I don’t drool. Come on, Jess. I’m sorry. Now are you going to share or not?”
“I don’t know. You don’t sound very sorry to me.”
“I’m sorry, all right?” They sounded just like two bickering children, and the men grinned.
“Oh, I suppose. If you guys can quit laughing long enough, come out to the kitchen for some brownies and milk.”
“I’ll make a quick call to the police to see if they can get rid of that bunch outside,” Dan said, trying to wipe the smile from his face. “Where is your phone?”
“In the kitchen. But I don’t know that it’ll do any good, since it was a policeman who caused the problem in the first place.” Jess carried the box, Emma at her heels, while Dan and Ty brought up the rear, the latter still laughing merrily.
While Emma got the milk, Jess took four glasses and dessert plates from the cupboard, paying more attention to Emma’s fingers and the brownies than she did to Dan’s call, although she did wonder how he knew to ask for Detective Winslow. Then she recalled one of the reporters had mentioned his name, and she marveled at the man’s memory for details. By the time Dan hung up, everything was on the table.

~~~~~

“He’s sending some cars over now,” he said, sighing as he sat in one of the chairs. “But that won’t keep them away forever.”
“Probably not,” Ty agreed, sobering up enough to look irritated.
“He also said to tell you he didn’t leak anything to the press.”
“Well, how did they find out then?” Jess wanted to know, looking at her full table. Four was so much nicer than one.
“I guess he told his captain about what happened yesterday and how happy he had been to hear about the baby. He figures someone overheard and made some calls.”
“I’m glad,” she said, lifting a forkful of chocolate to her lips. “He’s a nice man. I’d hate to think he could do something like that.”
“Well, we should probably think of some place to stash you for the time being,” Ty suggested.
“She can stay with us,” Emma volunteered absently, her eyes on Jess as she placed one of the brownies on her plate.
“No. If they bother to check their records, the have our address.”
“I forgot.” Not surprising as her attention was focused on the treat in front of her. Of course as wonderful as they were, it wasn’t surprising. “These are marvelous. Where did you get them?”
“Westside Deli,” Jess told her, finally putting what would be her third on on her own plate.
"You're kidding. I thought they only sold pizza and subs."
"That's what I thought, too. Aren't these the best?" Dan just managed to suppress another chuckle, although Ty burst into more peals of laughter.
“She can stay with me,” he offered hesitantly, not sure how it would go over. “I’ve got a huge house about fifteen miles from here. None of the press knows where I live, so she’d be safe for a few days. Until I find her another apartment anyway.”
“I hardly know you,” Jess murmured, taking a long drink of the ice-cold milk. and then another bite of the brownie. "Mmm."
“You must know I wouldn’t hurt you.” The woman had a one-track mind when it came to brownies, it seemed.
“I know that.”
“Then it’s settled,” Ty decided, looking from his wife to Jess, both too busy eating to pay them any mind. He shrugged his shoulders when he glanced at Dan.
“Can I have another?” Emma asked sweetly.
“I guess so. But I’ll get it. Anyone else?” Ty held up his plate. Dan shook his head. The phone rang then, and she made a quick detour from the counter, walking to where it hung on the wall. She looked at Emma and warned, “Stay out of them. I’ll get you another in a sec. Hello?”
Dan’s back was to Jess so he couldn’t’ see her, but he turned when Emma’s expression changed to one of concern. Jess stood there, her hand over her mouth, her face white. He went to her side, took the phone from her trembling hand, and demanded to know who was calling.
“Phillip Bentley. Who is this?”
“None of your business. What did you say to her?”
“None of your business,” the sarcastic voice mimicked. “Put the little tramp back on.” Dan’s fingers tightened around the receiver.
“I don’t think so.”
“Fine. Then you tell her that if that child is my son's, and I doubt that very much, I’ll have it taken away from her and raise it myself. She isn’t fit to be a mother to any child, let alone a Bentley.”
Jess must have heard the threat because she began to cry. Dan wrapped an arm around her, drawing her close to his side.
“And just how do you propose to do that?” he asked softly.
“By having her declared insane. And that won’t be hard to do. Trying to kill my boy’s murderer at the jail. Suicidal. It’ll be easy.”
“In your dreams,” Dan said.
“I’m an important man, and I have friends in high places. If she carries my grandchild, I’ll have it soon enough.”
“Then I‘m afraid you‘re going to have one ugly fight on your hands.”
“Oh really? Just who do you think you are?” No one that mattered, if his tone was any indication.
“Daniel Mulholland.”
“You murderous animal,” Phillip fairly screamed, enraged at the admission. Dan laughed harshly. “How did you get out?”
“I’m afraid you have me confused with my brother who, I assure you, is still safely in jail.”
“I want you out of that hovel now,” Phillip shouted. “And I mean this minute."
"Why is that?" he asked, his voice low.
"Because I won't have you around my grandchild."
"Now that does present a problem," Dan said, taking a deep breath.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, Jess will be marrying me a week from today, and I'll be adopting her child. Funny how things work out, eh?"


CHAPTER 6

Dan felt all eyes on him as he hung the phone up, effectively cutting off Phillip’s foul-mouthed opinion of his announcement.
Jess was perfectly beside him, the silence in the room palpable. He wasn’t sure just where the idea had come from, but it had seemed like the ideal way to irritate the arrogant bully. There was no way he’d let him get his hands on Jess’s baby. Not a chance.
He turned around to face Ty and Emma, and swallowed hard. Ty had gotten to his feet, a scowl on his face, as he held a loosely balled fist in his other hand. Dan hadn't realized just how big those hands were. Or how big Ty was in general. With the sleeves of a blue tee shirt stretched over his bulging biceps, his arms looked as big around as small tree trunks.
Dan couldn't actually recall seeing muscles like that on anyone before. At least not on anyone this up close and personal. He swallowed again, trying to resist a sudden urge to insert a finger in his collar, which seemed to have shrunk a couple of sizes in the past few seconds.
“I don’t suppose you’d care to explain why you just told Philip Bentley that you and Jess are getting married?” Ty asked stiffly, his eyes trained on Dan. They actually reminded him of a Doberman he'd once encountered.
“Because Bentley is a jerk,” Dan said carefully, He led Jess to her chair, and waited until sat down. Then he knelt before her. “Do you think he could do what he said?”
“What did he say?” Emma demanded, rising to stand by her husband, who was still glaring at Dan.
“That he’s going to have me declared insane and take the baby,” Jess whispered, brushing a tear from her cheek.
“Can he do it?” Dan repeated softly. Jess shrugged her shoulders helplessly but he could see from her expression that she thought he could. He looked at the floor.
“Let him try.” Emma couldn’t have been angrier if the threat had been directed at her. “Just let him try.”
Dan wished he’d thought before spouting off like that, but no, he’d let his temper get the best of him. Still, he wanted to help Jess. What better way than this?
“He’ll try,” he murmured, glancing back up, taking Jess’s hand in his. “When would you like to have the ceremony?”
“There has to be another way,” she said.
“Any suggestions?” Dan looked from one stricken face to another. No one said a word. Wishing Ty would relax that fist, he turned his attention back to Jess.
“I-” was all she managed to say, then shook her head.
“Maybe he was just blowing off,” Ty finally offered, finally relaxing. When he sat back down, Dan let out a sigh. He wouldn‘t want to know Ty Lanning as anything but a friend. “Trying to scare you. He’s old. What would he want with a baby?”
“He doesn’t want the baby,” Emma spat out, sitting back down, too. “He just wants to hurt Jess some more. He’d do it out of spite.”
“He would.” Jess’s shoulders slumped, and she began to weep again. “I can run away. Hide somewhere so he can’t find us.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Dan told her gently, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “We only need to be married for a couple years, and then we’ll have it annulled. That should be ample time to make it look legitimate – and get him off your back.”
“But I don’t love you.”
“I don’t love you either. We’re talking about keeping the baby safe. Like I said, I’ll adopt it. You won’t have anything to worry about. I’ll make sure you’re financially secure, too.” This was going to go over well with his parents, he thought absently, then he wondered what kind of work would be involved in pulling together a believable wedding in such a short time.
“What do you get out of all of this?” Emma asked suddenly. “It seems to me you lose all the way around. Unless your intentions aren’t as honorable as they seem.”
Dan looked from her to Ty, who was scowling again, flexing his long fingers. An image of his body, broken and bloodied, came to mind. Surely the man wouldn't resort to violence.
“I assure you, Mrs. Lanning,” Dan said slowly, rising to his feet. “My intentions are completely honorable.”
“Then, again, what do you stand to gain from this?”
“Peace of mind.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll know I’ve done everything in my power to try and right the serious wrong my brother caused.”
“But marriage? Isn’t that a little drastic?”
“Under the circumstances, what alternative is there? Have her on the run with a defenseless child? I assume Bentley is a wealthy man. If he’s determined, he has the means to track her down.”
“What makes you so sure he won’t try something even if you and Jess do marry?” This came from Ty.
“I am also a wealthy man. And I have friends who have friends. Between us, he doesn’t have a snowballs chance of getting the baby.” He put a finger under Jess’s chin, raising her face to look at him.
“My family owes you a debt we can never fully repay. This is a small sacrifice on my part, but the only way I know to protect you. I swear it will be in name only, though I hope we might grow to be friends,” he said softly. “Will you marry me, Jess?”
“Yes,” she whispered, a tense moment later.
Things moved quickly after that. Ty and Emma packed her clothes and personal belongings, while she sat at the table in a state of shock. Dan told her that he and his friends would move her furniture over the weekend, and wasn't sure how he felt when Ty said he'd be there, too. He'd never considered himself a coward but, he sure hoped the man would learn to trust him someday. Soon. Very, very soon.
The crowd outside was gone when they went out to load Dan’s car with three suitcases. Ty and Emma were given his phone number and address, with instructions to call or visit whenever they wanted, and he was finally whisking Jess away to the sanctuary of his house.

~~~~~

Located a couple of miles east of Charlotte, it sat well off the road, surrounded by a thick stand of trees. Jess was impressed at the first sight of her new, if temporary, home.
An oblong log structure with huge windows and a wide porch running its full length, it looked like it belonged in a Norman Rockwell painting. Snow-covered pines dotted the two or so acres, which made up the yard, and a split rail fence bordered the drive and sidewalk leading to the front door.
Dan parked the car next to a red vintage Corvette in an attached two-car garage.
“Do you have a vehicle?” he asked, opening her door and giving her a hand.
“A Cherokee.”
“I’ll have the Vet put into storage so we have room for you to park. Will Monday be soon enough?”
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble. It’s not in a garage now, and it’s fine.”
“I want you to be able to get in the house through here, Jess. I don’t always have time to shovel the walk, and I’d rather not have you skating around out there.”
He opened the door leading to a small mudroom, located off the most magnificent kitchen Jess had ever laid eyes on. Every conceivable, up-to-date, appliance had been installed, from a dishwasher, to a huge refrigerator with two glass doors, to a crushed ice maker under the counter, to a trash compactor. Yards of cranberry counter top formed a U, with a chopping block island in the center. A breakfast nook lay at the far end, with a honey colored table and chairs. 
“There are three bedrooms upstairs,” Dan was saying, as he walked through an equally beautiful dining room to an open stairway. “I have the one on the south end of the hall. I thought we would put you at the other end, with the baby’s room in-between. If it’s all right with you.”
“It sounds fine,” Jess said.
A hall ran along the second floor, with a banister overlooking the dining and living rooms below. Everything was lovely. Tastefully decorated in hues of brown and cream, obviously planned with comfort and relaxation in mind.
“Here it is,” he said, opening the door at one end of the hall. “It’s pretty basic. We can have it painted or papered, whatever you like.”
“It’s beautiful, Dan.”
White stucco walls with honey-stained trim. A gorgeous braided rug was centered on the shiny hardwood floor, with an antique four-poster bed sitting on it. A nightstand, dresser, and rocking chair were the only other furnishings but even with no embellishments, Jess loved it and could tell Dan was pleased.
“The bathroom is next to my room, and there’s another downstairs off the family room,” he explained, “so you won’t have to run from one floor to another. Why don’t you make yourself at home while I bring your things up? Check everything out. Get your bearings.” He looked uncomfortable and, without another word, beat a retreat for the garage.
“Well,” Jess sighed, turning slowly to look around again. Life had certainly changed in the last twenty-four hours. A baby. A new room in a new house. A fiancée. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Check it out, Dan had said. She wandered out to the hall, peeking in the room next door. A spacious, empty room with the same stucco walls and hardwood floor as hers. Her baby’s first home. How would Dan feel when it was transformed into a colorful nursery?
The bathroom was next, a huge cranberry colored tub, with three steps leading up to it, took center stage. It would be like bathing in a swimming pool.
Two doors opened off the northern wall, the first a linen closet. The second, she discovered, was to Dan’s room. Decidedly masculine, it boasted a queen size waterbed, and French doors that opened out to a wide balcony.
The sight before her took her breath away. Acres of trees, pines and maples and oaks, blanketed gentle, rolling hills, and a large pond lay nestled in one of the valleys nearer to the house, inviting swimmers and skaters alike. Dan’s own paradise. Hers to share for a while. A perfect place to lick her wounds, and get used to the idea of becoming a mother.
“I wondered where you’d gone,” Dan said quietly, coming to stand behind her. “What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like it.” He rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve put all of your things in your room. Do you want some help unpacking?”
“No. I can manage thanks.” It occurred to Jess she had trespassed by being in his room, and she turned to apologize. “I’m sorry. I should have asked if it was okay for me to be in here.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said easily, a ready smile on his lips. “This is your home now, Jess. You’re welcome to go anywhere you want.”
“Maybe I should go and unpack,” she said nervously. This was the first time she’d been alone in a bedroom with a man since Frank died, and it felt awkward.
“Will you be okay alone if I run back into Lansing?”
“I’ll be fine.” Was he feeling crowded already? As if reading her thoughts, he said,
“I really should let my folks know what’s going on.”
“They aren’t going to be happy about this, are they?” Jess averted her eyes, admiring the details in, of all things, a Norman Rockwell winter print hanging on the wall.
“I don’t suppose they will be,” he said. “But they will understand. And even if they don’t, it’s not their decision to make.”
“Before this goes any further,” she murmured, “I should probably tell that marrying me won’t change how I feel about your brother.”
“I know that.”
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“No. Bruce knows what he’s done. So do I, and so do my folks. Now you get yourself settled, while I get this over with? Do you like pizza?”
“Yes, I love it.” Talk about an abrupt about face.
“I’ll get one on my way home. What do you want?”
“Whatever you want is fine.”
“Let me put it this way, what don’t you like?”
“Mushrooms and anchovies.”
“Good. They’re not my favorites, either. I won’t be long. I’ll write my down the number for my cell phone, and leave it on the counter in case you need to get hold of me.”

~~~~~

Dan took a deep breath after he rang the doorbell. He’d tried to think of an easy way to tell them during the half hour drive in, but there wasn’t one. It would have to come flat out. The straight truth. Be honest and up front. They would understand, or not. Either way, he was marrying Jess.
“Dan.” Monica Mulholland greeted him with a hug. She looked tired, the strain over Bruce beginning to wear on her. He stroked her blond hair gently.
“How are you doing, Mom?”
“Hanging in there. Come on in before you freeze. Can you stay and visit awhile?”
“Actually, yes. I need to talk to you and Dad. Is he here?”
“In the kitchen. Come on out, and I’ll get you some coffee.” Her blue eyes had clouded over when he’d mentioned the word ‘talk,’ and her slender shoulders squared, as though preparing for another blow. This had been a rough few days for her. For everyone.
“Hey, Dad,” Dan said, trying to sound cheerful. Nate Mulholland looked up from the paper he was reading and grinned.
“Hey, yourself. What happened to you this afternoon?” When he’d ‘retired,’ Nate sold the realty company to Dan, but still worked part-time for his son, managing the office when Dan had other business to tend to.
“I needed to take care of something.” He pulled out a chair, turning it around so he could straddle it, and rested his arms on its back. “One of the perks of being your own boss. Thanks, Mom” Monica set a white mug, full-to-the-brim, before him, before she sitting next to her husband.
Sometimes Dan couldn't believe that these people were old enough to have kids his age. In their late forties, they’d aged well enough that they didn’t look much older than some of his contemporaries.
“Did you convince Mrs. Bentley to let you help her out? With a baby on the way, we need to make sure she has everything she needs. Maybe your mother and I could go and talk some sense into her.”
“That won’t be necessary, Dad. But she is the reason I’m here. Her father-in-law found out about the baby, and is threatening to fight her for custody.”
“No,” Monica gasped, grasping Dan’s arm. “That poor girl has suffered enough. Why would he do that?”
“Because he hates her. He didn’t want his son to marry her, and now he blames her because he’s dead.”
“But he must know that- That Bruce-” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word murder in conjunction with his name.
“He does. But he’s a hateful man. I spoke with him on the phone this afternoon, and he won’t rest until he’s got his grandchild.”
“Well, we’ll hire a lawyer,” Nate decided. “She’s lost enough. We won’t let him take her baby.”
“We won’t actually need a lawyer,” Dan said, almost inaudibly, watching his mother’s hand, holding a mug, begin to shake. Gently, he reached over and took it from her, sitting it down before it sloshed all over the table. “I came up with a solution.”
“What solution” Monica asked, her face paling.
“I’m going to marry her, and adopt the baby.” His mother’s eyes closed, and his father looked at him as though he’d lost his mind.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am, Dad.”
“It’s one thing to help her out, son. It’s the right thing to do. But giving up your life- It’s too much for her to expect from you.”
“For one thing, it’ll only be for two years. For another, Jess didn’t want to agree. She was ready to run away and hide.”
“Then let her do that,” Monica said quickly. “It makes more sense than you marrying her.”
“Mom, she wouldn’t be in this position if her husband were alive. Bruce took away her only shield from this man. All I’m offering her is my protection.”
“But Marriage? Dan, you can’t.”
“I can and I will, Mom,” he insisted, in a tone that brooked no argument. “I didn’t come here to get your blessing. It’s a done deal. The ceremony will be next Friday.”
“That soon?” He saw her eyes fill with tears, and was sorry he had to add to her pain. “Are you sure about this? Don’t you realize she must hate your brother?”
“I know she does. You would, too, if you were in her place.” What did she expect?
“It could make things a bit difficult,” Nate pointed out. “We can’t stop loving Bruce because she hates him.”
“Dad, if you think things might get difficult for us, maybe you need to think about how difficult things are for her. I’m sure she’d rather have her husband than me. But I’m all there is, and you’re going to have to get used to it. Two years isn’t long, considering he’ll be dead forever.”

~~~~~

What a day. Dan flexed his shoulders as he carried the pizza and salad into the kitchen. He really could use a long soak in the tub.
The ordeal at his parent’s house had worn him out, though Monica had finally agreed to try and get into the spirit of things. She even promised to go dress shopping with Jess on Monday. He was sure, once they took the time to know her, they would ike her. He knew he did. He also liked the idea of her being here for him to come home to. It beat rattling around the house by himself.
She was curled up on one end of the beige sectional sofa in the living room, fast asleep, and he grinned. She looked adorable, and he vowed never to tell her she snored softly.
He covered her with the brown afghan his mother had made for him, and went to put the pizza in the oven, and then sat down, opened his phone and dialed it.
“Hey, Coach, it’s Dan. I have a favor to ask you.”
“Name it.” From the sounds of things on Ed’s end, Dan was missing a football game.
“I’m getting married next Friday, and I’d be honored if you’d walk my bride down the aisle.” The sounds of cheering disappeared abruptly.
“Jess Bentley?”
“Yeah.”
“Well- I’m not going to ask if you know what you’re doing. because I know you do, so I guess all I can say is where and when.”
“That would be the question of the hour. Any chance you’d call the guys? Maybe we could all meet for lunch tomorrow at McGinty‘s? I’m going to need some help here, because I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Could I ask why the rush?” Dan explained what happened. “Phillip Bentley. What a jerk. You should have seen him at the funeral. I wanted to slug him.”
“I can’t say that I’m surprised, given the things he said on the telephone today.”
“I can imagine. But yeah, we’ll get this wedding together for you, and he’ll never know it’s not real. Though it might cement his opinion that Jess is a gold digger.”
“I really don‘t give two cents for his opinion. All I care about is that he never has an opportunity to harm this baby.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a good start on making sure he doesn’t.”
“I’m working on it. Now if I could just get him to stop calling Jess. I don’t suppose you could pay him a visit and flex your muscles a little?”
“I think I might be able to manage that,” Ed assured him.
“Hey, coach?”
“What?”
“Did you see Bruce today?”
“As a matter of fact I did. We had to admit him to the hospital a while ago.”
“Why?” Apparently he didn’t hate Bruce as much as he thought, because the news brought a stab of fear. “What’s wrong?”
“DT’s pretty bad. We’ll bring him back once he’s over the worst.”
“Do my parents know?” They hadn’t said anything when he’d been there earlier.
“They probably do now. They were transporting him just before my shift ended.” That would have been after Dan had been and gone.
“Is he allowed visitors?”
“I’ll get you in, if you want to see him.”
“Maybe after lunch tomorrow?”
“Sure thing.” After a short pause Ed said, “You know, Dan, this whole situation is getting kind of weird.”
“Tell me about it.”


CHAPTER 7

“A wuddin’,” Jess mumbled, her mouth full of the best pizza she’d ever had the pleasure of eating. For the second time that day, she’d exercised bad manners, but she couldn’t help it this time either. Swallowing before she even finished chewing she said, “I thought we’d just go to a justice of the peace.”
“Bentley is going to scrutinize everything we do, so it’s got to look real,” he explained patiently. “He’s got to think we’re in love – if we don’t want world war three on our hands.”
“In...love?” She leaned her arms on the table and closed her eyes. How could she pretend to be in love with Dan? She loved Frank. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“Yes you can. For the baby, you can do whatever it takes. If he suspects it’s a sham, he’ll have us in court so fast you won’t know what hit you.” He took a bite of salad while she sipped her soda.
“I guess I can try.”
“You can do better than that. Pretend you’re in a school play or something. It’ll only be when we’re in public, so it won’t be as hard as you think.”
“I’m glad you’re so sure,” she said, with what she hoped passed for a smile. “I think it’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“No. That’s happening on Monday.”
“What’s Monday?”
“My mother’s taking you shopping for a wedding dress.”
“Oh great.”
The thought pretty much ruined the rest of the weekend for Jess, who would rather go shopping with King Kong than Dan’s mother. The woman could only resent her presence in the family, no matter that it wouldn’t be for long. So why had she agreed to this?
The answer was easy. She was only beginning to know Dan, but one thing was certain. When he wanted something done, nothing – and no one – swayed him from his course. But he should have asked about this.

~~~~~

Ty and Emma arrived at the house bright and early Saturday morning. By that time Jess was helping Dan prepare breakfast for three men he'd introduced as his oldest friends. Cal O’Hara’s wife had come with him, and she was just the cutest, elfin little thing Jess had ever seen. Moreover, Darby was nice, too. She knew she would like this woman.
It was funny how she’d gone from near seclusion for more than three months, to being thrust into more socializing in the past couple of days than she’d done in a long while. There would be a houseful for the day, since they were also providing lunch and supper for the ‘crew.’
Jess had only been in Dan’s house for a couple of days, and admitted she didn’t know him very well, but she thought he seemed just a little nervous around Ty. Or intimidated, and she couldn’t figure out why. She and Emma had called him Ty, the teddy bear since first meeting him because he was a kind and gentle man. Of course, it could be Dan was uncomfortable because he didn’t know Ty yet.
Jess turned her attention to the hash browns, now crisp to perfection, and began heaping them into a serving dish, which joined platters of bacon, sausage, and scrambled eggs on the dining room table. Dan followed her with a mountain of buttered toast, and they were finally able to sit down and enjoy the fruits of their combined labor. It seemed they worked well together. At least in the kitchen.
“So do we know where we’re going to put all of Jess’s furniture?” Jon asked, crunching into a slice of toast.
“In the basement,” Dan said, passing the platter of bacon to Jess. “There’s plenty of room, since I’ve never finished it.”
“We could get that done in a weekend easy,” Sam suggested. “Give you a family or rec room.”
“I’m gonna be busy that weekend,” Cal mumbled around a mouthful of eggs, and everyone chuckled. Darby cuffed his arm lightly and said,
“Just let us know when.”
“I appreciate the offer, but until we pull this wedding off, I can’t even think about anything else. I want this to look as legitimate as possible, which means guests. I can get about half a dozen couples from the office to come, but the rest already have plans. I don’t suppose you could help us out here.”
 “I’ll check with my family,” Ty offered. “They all know, Jess and most of them love her as much as we do.” 
“Most of them?” she teased, and he winked at her.
“Those with good taste.” Jess felt her eyes fill with tears, and looked quickly at her plate. Ty reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“I’ll ask Chris, and see if he can bring a date.” Chris was Jon’s partner, and their construction company built the subdivisions Sam designed. “Some of the other guys might come, too. I’ll ask Monday.”
“I can check with Holly,” Sam said quietly. “Are kids allowed?”
“The more the merrier,” Dan told him, hiding a smile. Sam had had a crush on Holly McGinty since her oldest son joined his Boy Scout troop a year ago. 
“I’ll see who else might be available. My family thinks you’re a dweeb, but maybe they don’t have anything better to do.”
“Your family would adopt me if they could,” Dan shot back, and more laughter filled the room.
Cal and Darby promised to see who they could round up, and everyone would let Dan know by Monday night. Cal would need the numbers because his company would cater the reception. When Dan said they were his best friends, he hadn’t been exaggerating. Jess was amazed at how everyone was pulling together to help them out.
“It sounds like we have a plan,” Dan said, pushing away from the table. “Ladies, we will be back with the first load around lunch time, and we’ll be starving. Don’t forget, the Coach will be meeting us at the apartment, and he eats like a horse. Gentlemen, if you’re ready...”
It was a good day, Jess thought, all things considered. She, Emma and Darby spent an enjoyable day cooking, though they were insistent Jess not work too hard. 
She had been surprised to find that the ‘Coach’ was none other than Ed Winslow, and that they guys called him ‘Coach’ because he’d coached their little league softball teams for years. The fact that he was only ten years older, didn’t alter the fact that he was every bit as much a part of their circle as the rest. And by the time everything had been moved, and they all sat down to a spaghetti supper, it was clear that Ty was fast becoming part of the group.

~~~~~

By the time Dan left for work Monday morning, Jess was a nervous wreck. Even worse than the day before, when she’d called Emma to beg her to take the day off work, and come shopping with her and Dan’s mother. Monica Mulholland was due to arrive at ten, and Emma, who had promised to be there at least an hour earlier, had been true to her word. Since it was just the two of them, she was making herself at home, looking in closets and cupboards. Jess just rolled her eyes and let her go.
“I just can‘t get over how nice this house is. It‘s like being transported back to pioneer days.”.
“I suspect most pioneers lived in one or two room cabins, not fancy rustic houses that are worth a few hundred thousand dollars.”
“True, but I seriously love this place. It would be worth staying married to Dan just to live here. Then I could visit and enjoy it any time I wanted.”
“Emma,” Jess said in disgust. “I doubt that he’s thrilled to be stuck with me for two years, let alone forever, just so you can admire it whenever you want.”
“If I were you, I’d give it some thought."
“Jeez, Em, knock it off? You’re here to prevent me from having a panic attack, remember?”
“Sorry, sweetie.” Emma laughed, and put her arm around her. “I was only teasing. Now, offer me some coffee before the dragon lady gets here.”
“I never called her that,” Jess protested, filling a snow-white china cup, and handing it to her. They leaned against the counter to wait the ten minutes or so left before Monica was due.
“That’s what you made her sound like.”
“Well it wasn’t intentional. For heaven’s sake, I haven’t even met the woman.” Jess hefted herself up so she was sitting on the counter. “I don’t know why we can’t just get married downtown. This is such a farce.”
“You need to remember Dan is a pretty important businessman, and he probably needs to keep up appearances. A small wedding will look better than a quickie ceremony in front of a Justice of the Peace.” Emma took a hesitant sip of the brew, then smiled. “Dan made this, didn’t he?”
“Yeah. Why?”
"Because it’s good."
"And mine isn't?"
"Your coffee tastes like mud.”
“I've never actually known anyone who knew what mud tasted like.” Jess was rewarded with the tip of a pink tongue pointed her way.
“That was bad,” Emma said, chuckling.
“Teach you to insult me, won’t it?”
“That wasn’t an insult. It happened to be the gospel truth.”
They debate over mud and Jess’s coffee making skills was still underway when the door to the garage opened, startling both women. Dan strolled in, grinning at their surprised expressions.
“I thought you were working,” Jess almost accused, hopping down like a guilty child to stand on the floor.
“I decided it wasn’t fair to leave you alone with my mother.” The grin grew bigger. “Besides, I want to have some fun with her. So, no matter what I say, you two keep quiet, okay?” Jess looked at him suspiciously.
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing,” he said, the smirk he wore indicating otherwise. “Much.”
“Dan...” Too late. A knock at the door signaled the arrival of their guest and shopping companion, and Dan wiped the smile off his face, heading to the front of the house let her in. Moments later they heard him say,
“Hi, Mom. I hope you don’t mind but, I decided to tag along today. So did Jess’s sister.” Jess and Emma exchanged knowing glances, and Jess closed her eyes, opening them only when she heard them walk into the kitchen.
“Jess, I’d like you to meet my mother, Monica Mulholland. Mom, my fiancée, Jess Bentley.” Jess smiled sickly, and held her hand out, only to find it grasped in a limp, milk toast shake.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Ma’am.”
“Same here,” came the terse reply, an icy smile on her tense face. Jess knew in that instant that this was going to surpass the miserable day she’d already envisioned.
“And this is Jess’s sister, Emma Lanning. Emma, my mother.” The look on Monica’s face was comical, as Emma held out her hand for the same limp shake.
“Her sister?”
“You wouldn’t know it to look at them, would you?” Dan asked, his face completely straight. “Shall we get your coat, Jess? I thought we’d go to the Lansing Mall. They have just about anything you could ever want. If not, we can buzz across the street, and see what Baryames has.”
“Dan, tell her the truth,” Jess whispered, as soon as they were out of ear shot, standing at the closet in the hall.
“No. Let’s let her wonder for a while.” Clearly, he thought it was a riot, and probably wanted to see how long it would take before she mentioned it.
“This isn’t nice. She doesn’t like me anyway, and she’s going to like me less when she finds out you’ve played a trick on her.”
“All right,” he said, sighing. He helped her into the gray coat, and slid an arm around her shoulders.

~~~~~

Monica wasn’t thrilled at having been made fun of, and she wasn’t at all gracious about Dan’s apology, though she didn’t say a word. He was a relieved when she and Emma chose to drive their own cars to Lansing, leaving Jess to ride with him.
Dan was glad he’d come home, especially since his mother was going out of her way to be as rude as she could. He was afraid he might have to pull her to the side for a little chat. She might object to the marriage, that was her right, but he wasn’t going to allow her to treat Jess like this.
When they finally got to the store, he and Emma were the only two who were able to muster any enthusiasm. They also the ones who picked the dress out after less than an hour of looking. A traditional white, old-fashioned gown. The sort of gown brides in love wore, a fact that didn’t escape Monica. And once the bill for it had been taken care of, she didn’t waste a moment before saying she had an appointment, taking her leave of them almost immediately.
“Gee, that was fun,” Emma said with a grin, as they walked out to the parking lot. “Can we do it again?”
“She did outdo herself in the charm department, didn’t she?” Dan drawled, smiling down at Jess. He was beginning to feel quite comfortable with her drawn close to his side. “And now it’s over, I can rest easy knowing you and my mother will be the best of friends.” She’d been nervous since they’d gotten up that morning, which was the reason he’d decided to accompany them, but now she relaxed a bit, laughing at his joke.
“I’m glad you can be so casual about this. Have you thought about what the next two years are going to be like, Dan? I think she hates me.”
“I think hate might be a little strong. I’d say it’s more of an intense dislike. But that’s her problem, not ours.” He glanced at Emma. “Are you in a hurry, or can we treat you to lunch?”
“If it’s all the same to you, as long as I took the whole day off, I’d like to get home and make a big pan of lasagna. It’s Ty’s favorite.”
“Trying to bribe him, Em?”
“You bet," she said grinning. "I saw a ring in there, and I want to butter him up a little.”
“A ring.” Dan slapped his forehead and groaned. “We still need to get our rings.”
They waved Emma off, and headed back into the store. He knew this was going to be worse than picking out the dress. Rings would make it more real. N order to wear his, she’d have to take Frank’s off.
Knowing how heartbreaking the moment was, Dan also bought a gold chain. That way she could wear Frank‘s rings around her neck.
“Now,” he said, as they walked back out to the parking lot, “shall we get some lunch before I take you after the Jeep?” He held her door open.
“I wish you’d stop mentioning food,” she complained, buckling her seat belt.
“Why?”
“Because, every time you do, I feel like I’m starving.”
“Where to then?”
“Cheddar’s? It’s right across the street.” He could see that her mood improved at the thought of a big greasy burger, and potato skins oozing melted cheese.

~~~~~

The week passed too quickly for Jess’s piece of mind. So many changes and activities, she hardly had time to breathe, much less think. Unpacking, trying to decide which of her things would remain in boxes for the next two years, and what she might want or need during the interim. Deciding, when Dan asked, what colors she wanted for the wedding flowers and cake. Trying to get used to her new home. The hours simply flew by, and before she knew it, was Friday morning. D-Day.
She was supposed to meet Emma at the church at five, so they would have plenty of time to get ready for the seven o’clock ceremony. Only eight more hours to get through – and to wonder what kind of mess she was getting herself into.
She vacuumed. And dusted. And made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. And tried not to think that, before this day was over, she would be trading Frank’s name for a new one. How would he feel about this? Would he understand why she had to do it? That it was for the baby’s sake?
The need to be with him was so overwhelming, Jess found herself bundled up and kneeling beside Frank’s grave at four o’clock. The pink roses she brought, the same kind that she would be carrying down the aisle in a short time, looked pretty against the fresh white snow, and she felt warm tears slide down her icy cheeks.
“I don’t even know where to start, Frank,” she whispered, brushing the marble headstone off. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t still love you. I’ll always love you. It’s just that your dad, you know how he is. Well, he’s being nasty about the baby, and I’m scared.
“I wouldn’t consider it if there was another way. I don’t love Dan. I just don’t think there are any other choices right now. I don’t have the money to fight your father, and I know you wouldn’t want him to have the baby any more than I do. I don’t know what else to do, Frank. Please try to understand. And don’t be angry, sweetheart. It’s for our baby.” She outlined the letters that spelled out his name with one gloved finger.
“Dan’s a nice man. I feel like I’ve known him forever. And I think you would have liked him. He’s good to me. I know what his brother did but, Frank, I swear there’s nothing going on between us. And nothing ever will. I promise.”
Jess searched through her purse for a tissue. Between the cold air and the crying, she needed one rather badly. This was a lot harder than she’d thought it would be. Like closing the door on the part of her life with Frank. Like losing another small piece of him.
“I wish there was another way, sweetie. I wish this was all a bad dream, and I’d wake up and you’d be here. I miss you so much.”
“Jess?” Emma’s soft voice made her jump. “I thought you might come here.”
“I had to tell him.”
“I know. Frank wouldn’t mind. He’d understand you’re only doing what you have to do to keep the baby safe. But, Jess, he would be upset to know you were risking pneumonia being out here like this. Come on, honey. It’s almost five.” She helped her to her feet. “Look, your slacks are wet.”
“I didn’t realize…” She wiped her face with the back of her hand, and Emma hugged her tightly. “I hate doing this, Em.”
“I know.”

~~~~~

Bruce looked terrible, Dan thought, looking at his brother through the glass wall that separated them. A wave of compassion washed over him for the first time in years, as weary blue eyes seemed to beg his forgiveness. Dan didn’t know what to say. Didn’t even know why he was here. The only time he’d seen his brother since his arrest had been briefly at the hospital, and that hadn‘t been an experience he wanted to repeat. So his wedding day seemed like an odd time, but he’d still felt the need to come.
“So, you’re tying the knot tonight,” Bruce said quietly, brushing a strand of brown hair out of his eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Is she nice?”
“Very.” Dan wished he could think of something to say that might ease the tension between them. “I like her. Mom doesn’t.”
“I know. She was here today. She’s got this stupid idea that if you marry Mrs. Bentley, it’s going to make things worse for me. I can’t convince her I deserve everything I get – and then some.” He laughed bitterly.
“Mom always has heard only what she wants to hear,” Dan agreed.
“I- I want you to know I appreciate what you’re doing for her. If I could make up for what I’ve done-”
“I know, Bruce. I don’t mind.”
“You’ll take good care of her, and her baby.”
“Yes.” Dan hated this. He should have tried to help him more. He looked out of place here. Like a frightened little boy who had broken the cookie jar and couldn’t fix it. Except the punishment wouldn’t be a simple spanking. It would be a lonely life sentence, to be served out in prison.
“I’m so sorry,” Bruce’s voice broke on a sob. “I wish you didn’t have to pay for this. I wish I could take it all back. I’d give anything if I had it to do over. Will you tell her that for me? Please?”
“I’ll tell her.” But Dan knew he wouldn’t. Jess wasn’t ready to accept an apology from him. She probably never would be.
“I should have listened to you. If I had, he’d still be alive, and everything would be all right.”
“Bruce, don’t.” Dan felt a lump the size of a football in his throat. “What’s done is done, and beating yourself over the head with it won’t help.”
“I just feel so bad for her. And for you. I never meant to get you into a mess like this.”
“No one’s twisting my arm. I’m just glad I can help out. Now why don’t you settle down, okay? I can’t stay much longer, but I was remembering that time up at Big Star Lake. When we were kids, and you caught that little fish. Remember, Bruce?”
When it came down to the wire, Bruce was still his brother. A long-forgotten love surfaced, and with it, his own wish that things might have turned out differently.

~~~~~

“You girls ready?” Ty asked, looking handsome in his black tuxedo. Cal and Ed looked dashing in theirs as well. Emma and Darby, wearing rose colored formals, would walk down the aisle with their husbands, ahead of Ed and Jess. Right now, Jess wished she had about fifty bridesmaids, so she could postpone the moment as long as possible.
“I guess so,” Jess answered quietly, trembling so hard she wasn’t sure she could get through the ordeal to come.
“The moment of doom has arrived,” he whispered ominously, leaning toward her ear. Jess giggled at his tone, and he said, “That’s better. It could be worse. He could be sixty, and fat with no teeth.”
“Ha-ha.” Dan didn’t even come close to that dismal description.
“It’s time,” Emma said, opening the door, and reaching out to grasp her husband’s arm. Cal and Darby followed them out, and Ed came to stand beside her, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm. He smiled down at her and said,
“I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but everything will be all right.”
Dan waited at the front of the church, also in black, Cal standing beside him, acting as best man. From the front pew Nate Mulholland smiled pleasantly at her, though his wife couldn’t manage more than a scowl. At least it looked that way, but Jess couldn’t be sure. She’d only glanced their way for a moment.
Too soon, Ed was handing her over to the man who was about to become her second husband. It dawned on her that this would be her second marriage in fewer than four months. 
As the words were spoken, Jess recalled the last time she’d heard them. A joyous occasion she’d anticipated with hope and excitement. She and Frank had smiled at each other from beginning to end, when he had kissed her softly, his hand gently cupping her face. The sound of someone clearing his throat brought her back to the present.
“Please repeat after me,” the minister said kindly. Obviously, she’d missed the first request. “I, Jess Marie.”
“I, Jess Marie.”
“Take you, Daniel…”

~~~~~

Dan saw it in the reverend’s eyes a split second before he said it. The surprised horror, because the secret he’d sworn to keep was about to roll off his tongue, as if no promise had been made at all. A secret Dan had spent his entire life protecting.
And then, suddenly, there it was. He didn’t have to see them to know whose reactions he was hearing. Coach and Sam discreetly clearing their throats. Cal’s sudden, muffled fit of coughing. And Jon…
Jon, who had known, deep down, how perfectly awful it had to be, and who had tried relentlessly to discover the truth when they were growing up, wasn’t quite so subtle. The low rumble of his laughter could be heard, even in the deepest, darkest corners of the sanctuary.
“…Leslie.”
“Take you, Daniel...Leslie.” Dan closed his eyes, squeezing her hand softly when he sensed she was about to laugh. Jon’s quietly amused, ‘Leslie’ sounded behind him.
Yeah, he was in for it. When he took the wedding ring from Cal, and saw him valiantly trying to hide a smile, Cal, by far the gentlest of the four, he knew it without a doubt. All his precautions turned out to be for naught. All those years of worrying, just to have it broadcast so publicly at his wedding.
Then he wondered why he even was worrying about it. He was twenty-eight years old for heaven’s sake, not some emotional, prepubescent boy, whose feelings could be crushed over something as awful as having your grandfather’s name forced on you. It wasn’t like he’d had any say in the matter.

~~~~~

The rest of the ceremony was a complete blur. Perhaps it was due to the strain she’d been under, but it took all of the self-control Jess possessed not to laugh hysterically. As it was, her shoulders shook from the effort, and she had to bite her lip hard a couple of times to prevent a giggle. It was his fault. He should have warned her.
“You may kiss your wife.” Whoa. Okay. So much for humor. For some reason, Jess hadn’t actually thought about this part of the ceremony, which was rather foolish given that all grooms kissed their brides – because that’s what always happened at the end of a wedding ceremony. 
Except most brides had probably kissed their grooms at least once prior to their marriage, something she and Dan had never done. Something Jess didn’t want to do even now. And if she hadn’t been so shocked, she might have protested when the minister spoke the words.
But then Dan’s lips were pressed gently against hers, and all the thoughts racing through her mind fled. Jess was horrified to find it felt nice. More than nice.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Mulholland.”
The guests, numbering very close to seventy, applauded as Dan and Jess, Ty and Emma, and Cal and Darby walked back down the aisle, and Jess pondered the enormity of this change in her life. Mrs. Daniel Mulholland. Jess Mulholland. She tried the new name, in much the same way she’d done with Frank’s. It didn’t feel right like it had with his, and she knew it would take some getting used to.

~~~~~

Everyone who was staying for the reception headed down to the basement of the church, which had been decorated with flowers, balloons, streamers and candles. The wedding party formed a receiving line, and Dan found himself on the wrong end of the ribbing he knew was coming. Ed found it amusing enough to ask, “So, how does it feel to be married, Leslie?”
And while he’d expected the worst to come from Jon, who only murmured, “Congratulations, Leslie,” it was actually Sam who couldn’t seem to stop chuckling. Especially whenever he looked him straight in the eye. Dan put it down to his age, three years younger than the rest of them. Immature little brat.

~~~~~

Everything that followed was traditionally correct, from the gifts piled on a table by guests who hadn’t been told the circumstances behind the event, to the huge wedding cake and buffet, to the band playing a variety of music, so all present could dance and have a good time.
They cut the three-tiered cake, Dan smashing a piece in Jess’s face like all new husbands did. They danced alone, on display, like all newlyweds did. And almost everyone in the room kept pounding on their tables in what was probably the universal demand for them to kiss, like all wedding guests did.
This was the most difficult part of the pretense for Jess. She didn’t want Dan’s kisses. She wanted Frank’s. Worse yet, she didn’t want to like them. But she did.
Thankfully, at ten, Dan announced they were leaving. Since the minister had told them they could have the reception hall until two, everyone was welcome to stay and have a good time. Finally, he thanked them all for coming, and they hurried to the car in a shower of birdseed. 
“I hope that didn’t tire you out too much,” Dan said, pulling onto the road and heading for home. A light dusting of snow had fallen, covering the road, and Dan’s attention was on his driving.
“Not at all.” Now that they were alone, Jess felt like she could relax for the first time that day.
“I think it went well.”
“Except for that one part," she said quietly.
“Which part was that?”
“Leslie.” Dan glanced at her, rolling his eyes, before turning his gaze ahead again. 


CHAPTER 8

Jess woke the following morning and her first thought was she was Dan’s wife now, not Frank’s, and she felt different. Nothing she could really put her finger on, but it was strange. Like last night.
Though she’d tried, she had finally given in to her amusement over his somewhat…different...middle name, and they’d chuckled about it most of the way home. It had only been when Dan turned in to the driveway that the change in marital status really sank in, and then they’d both grown quiet.
Under normal circumstances, they would have retired to their room to get to know one another in the most intimate of ways. Instead, the moment had been tense, Dan insisting that Jess get to bed, while he unloaded the gifts from the car. She’d had, he told her, a long day and should get some rest. When Jess protested that he, too, had had a long day, Dan brushed it off and sent her inside.
Much later, she heard him in the hall, stopping for a moment outside her door. She decided he must also have been pondering their bizarre union, the bride and groom sleeping in separate rooms on their wedding night. Then he had continued down the hall, and she’d heard the sound of his door closing quietly.
Now it was just after six, following a night filled with disturbing dreams. She couldn’t remember details, just that they were weird, and she’d been relieved to wake up. 
Knowing she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, Jess pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed. Oddly enough, she felt well rested, and she made her bed, before dressing in jeans and a white sweater.
Larger pants were definitely on the agenda sometime in the near future. For some reason, her stomach had rounded enough in the past few days to make the ones she owned a bit snug. Maybe she’d go shopping next week, she thought, creeping out of her room and heading for the stairs, not wanting to disturb Dan. But the mouth watering aroma of breakfast wafting through the house told her he was already up, and her stomach growled in anticipation.
“Good morning,” he said cheerfully, as he stood at the stove, turning thick, meaty slices of bacon. Her stomach actually growled, loud enough that he heard, and he grinned. “Hungry?”
“What gave me away?” she asked, grinning back at him, and sitting on a stool at the counter. “I didn’t think you’d be up this early.”
“I never sleep in.”
“Not even on weekends?”
“Not even then. Do you want some orange juice?”
“I’ll get it,” she said, starting to get up, but Dan shook his head.
“You just sit there and relax. I’ll get it.”
Soon, a large, frosty glass of juice was in front of her, and Dan leaned over to rest his arms on the countertop. Jess couldn’t help but notice he looked especially nice in a black cable knit sweater, or that he smelled really good. Things she really shouldn’t be noticing, even if he was now her husband.
“I should probably be helping you,” she murmured, lowering her eyes.
“Nah. I’m so used to this, I could do it in my sleep.”
“Do you always eat like this when you cook?” she asked nervously, recalling breakfast with everyone the previous weekend. The rest of the week Dan had done no more than grab a cup of coffee on his way out the door.
“Only on Saturday’s.”
“That’s good.” She glanced out the huge bay window. An inch or so of fresh snow had fallen, covering everything in sight. “Fatty foods aren’t especially healthy.”
“Actually, I’m pretty good about that sort of thing,” he said easily, as her face flushed in embarrassment. “But if you’re not comfortable with it, we can start having bran muffins or something.”
“Oh no. I didn’t mean that,” Jess told him quickly. “I love bacon and eggs. I guess I was just trying to make conversation.”
“Is now a good time to confess that I have hash browns warming in the oven?”
“What are bacon and eggs without hash browns?” She smiled as he turned back toward the stove.
“A woman after my own heart.”
He was a good cook, Jess admitted a while later. Perfect eggs, over medium with no slimy parts, yolks runny enough to dip her toast in. Just crisp bacon, not too crisp, yet not limp either. Heavenly hash browns.
“This is wonderful,” she said, biting into lightly browned toast. “You’re a better cook than I am.”
“Since this is about the only thing I can cook, I’d have to disagree. But thank you anyway.” He took a bite of bacon, and chewed it slowly. “Feel up to a bit of travel today?”
“Why?”
“I was thinking maybe we could take a run over to Frankenmuth.”
“Why?” Sometimes she sounded like a broken record.
“I don’t know. Something to do. It doesn’t feel right to be just married, and not do anything special, or at least something out of the ordinary. Have you ever been there?”
“No. Every time I see one of their billboards, I think I should make the trip over, but then I always get busy and forget about it.”
“Well, I’ll buy you the best chicken dinner you’ve ever had if you say yes.”
“I suppose we could. But I hope you don’t feel like you have to entertain me, Dan.” He’d done too much for her already.
“No, I was thinking about going anyway. I need to pick up some new decorations for my annual Christmas party. A trip to Bronner’s is a lot more interesting than another trip to the mall. Besides, the way I see it,” he said, sopping up some yolk with his toast, “we’re going to be married for the next couple of years. What better way to get acquainted than by being stuck in the car together for several hours?” Jess laughed at that.
“A Christmas party, you say?”
“I have one every year for my staff and business associates.
“Here at the house?”
“Yes, but if you’re not up to it, I’ll rent a hall,” he told her concerned, as always, for her well-being.
“Here is fine,” she lied, dreading the festivities she wouldn’t be sharing with Frank. “Will there be many guests?”
“Fifty or so. But I have it catered, Jess. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Catered? I don’t mind doing the food.”
“It’s too much work,” he said, shoving his plate to the side.
“No it isn’t. I love to cook.” Dan seemed to think about it, and then shook his head no.
“With the baby coming, I don’t think it would be a good idea.”
“If it turns out that it isn’t, you could still have it catered,” she pointed out. At least this was something she could do to help pay him back for the sacrifices he’d already made.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“All right.” He sighed. “It goes against my better judgment, but you’re a grown woman, and I suppose you know what you can handle.” He stood up and grabbed their plates. “So when do you want to take off?”
“Whenever you’re ready.”

~~~~~

Life soon settled into a comforting pattern, and Jess made it a point to find out everything she could about this man who was her husband. There wasn’t much she could do to repay his kindness, except by doing the things that wives usually did. Like discovering what foods he preferred, and looking through his dressers and closet to see how he liked his clothes folded and hung. Just simple things she hoped would make his life a little easier.
Only the impending court date, set for early January, cast a shadow over this new and unusual life.
That, and finding it was becoming an effort to keep Frank’s memory alive. It had been so easy to keep her thoughts centered only on him and the life they might have had together before she’d found out about the baby. Now it seemed as though he had been no more than a pleasant memory from her past. It bothered her so much, she invited Emma to lunch at Ponderosa one afternoon shortly before Christmas.
“It’s not that I don’t still love him,” she lamented over succulent sirloin tips, “but it’s- I don’t know, Em. It’s different.”
“You’re healing, Jess. It’s been almost five months. It’s normal. I’m glad you’re starting to get on with your life.”
“But I don’t want to forget him,” Jess whispered.
“You never will. But he’s gone, Jess.” Emma said softly, her eyes bright with tears. “I know that Frank wouldn’t have wanted you to grieve forever. He wanted you to be happy. More than anything else.” She looked pointedly at Jess’s gently rounded belly. “You’ve got the baby now. And Dan. It’s a new life. It’s different than the one you might have planned, but it’s a good one.”
“I suppose,” she admitted reluctantly.
“It’s certainly better than it was a few weeks ago. You’re happier. And Dan’s a nice man. Everyone can see he’s good to you.”
“Too good, I think.” She took a bite of steak, chewing it slowly.
“Why would you say that?”
“I don’t know. He acts like a real husband.”
“How so?”
“He worries about me, and he takes care of me. Like we’re really married, you know.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I try and I try, but there isn’t a lot I can do to take care of him.” She jabbed at another piece of meat. “I guess I’m starting to feel a little inadequate.”
“Maybe you should first admit to yourself that you really are married, and he is a real husband.”
“Not really. We don’t sleep together, or anything like that,” she murmured, her face flushing at the mere thought. She saw that Emma was trying not to grin.
“But that doesn’t make him any less your husband.” She paused for a moment. “Are you starting to feel like his wife?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, looking at Emma like she might have a solution to her problems. “Sometimes, I guess. And I think about him.”
“In what way?”
“In ways I probably shouldn’t.”
“Do you think you might elaborate on that thought?” Emma asked impatiently, leaning across the table, her interest piqued.
“He’s really cute, and he always smells so nice.” Because it was embarrassing, she hesitated to admit, “And I think about the night we got married.” Much more than she should have.
“Do you mean about all the times he kissed you?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you like it?” Jess nodded her head reluctantly, and Emma laid a gentle hand on hers. “Honey, you’re a woman. You have normal feelings, and it has been a while since Frank died. Did you think you’d never want to be with a man again?”
“I never wanted to be with anyone but him.”
“But you know you can’t.”
“I feel like a traitor, Em.” She turned her hand over and clasped Emma‘s. “He deserved better than a wife whose head could be turned this easily.”
“Jess,” Emma said gently, “you’re twenty-four years old. You only knew Frank what? Two months?”
“Four.” If she counted the time she’d worked in the office before they’d started dating.
“He’s been gone longer than you knew him.” A blunt observation, but true. Still, it didn’t mean she loved or missed him any less.

~~~~~

Jess thought about their conversation on the way home, and while she prepared that evening’s meal. Just spaghetti and meatballs, but one of Dan’s favorites. Dan’s favorite. Nearly everything she did lately centered around what Dan liked, while less and less of her thoughts were about Frank.
Was Emma right? Could the depth of love be measured by the length of time you knew a person? Was she fickle? Not capable of loyalty? No. Just because they hadn’t known one another all that long, did that mean her love hadn’t been real?
Of course it had been, she decided irritably, setting the burner on low so the sauce could simmer for a couple of hours.
She wandered into the living room and sat down, looking at the decorations she and Dan had already put out. Not many, considering the party was just three days away. He’d said he would finish the rest of it tonight, and she wasn’t to lift a finger since it would involve the stairway, and the split rail fences outside.
That had to be it. Like she’d told Emma, he acted like a concerned husband. Always making sure she didn’t tire herself, or do anything that might harm the baby.
In fact, he acted like any expectant father might, involving himself in the plans to decorate the nursery, and devouring books on pregnancy, labor and delivery. And baby care.
She smiled, remembering the other night when he asked about starting childbirth classes. He’d been perfectly serious about it, reading aloud some passages on how learning to breathe properly would help make contractions more bearable.
The phone rang, jolting her out of her thoughts, and she walked out to the kitchen to answer it. Monica was calling to see if she and Dan were coming over Christmas Eve for the gift opening. Jess told her she’d check with him when he got home, but she didn’t foresee a problem. Unless she counted the fact that her new mother-in-law didn’t want her there, and resented her presence in the family, but Jess kept that thought to herself. It wouldn’t do to antagonize the woman any more than she’d already been.
Replacing the receiver, she paced the kitchen restlessly. More than three hours till Dan was due home, a time she looked forward to more and more each day. It was only because it was lonely living out here, not knowing anyone, and being completely alone while he was at work. That was the only reason.
Maybe she should get some shopping done. The huge tree in the living room looked bare with no gifts beneath it, and shopping would keep her occupied.
After transferring the sauce to a crock-pot, and rinsing the pan out, Jess slipped into her jacket, and headed for the Jeep. Soon she was wandering the crowded aisles at Meijer.
Her list was a short one. She began with Ty and Emma. She’d known them forever, and it didn’t take much time to pick out some the things they might like. Sweaters in complimenting colors, colognes, and a warm throw to cover up with while they snuggled on their sofa on cold winter nights. She also picked up a lavender bath set for Darby, and an expensive gourmet coffee set, with teddy bear mugs for Cal. She hoped that with him being a chef, the coffee would be up to his high standards.
For the foster parents she and Emma had lived with the longest, Jess bought phone cards, a cute Santa and Mrs. Claus yard decoration, and several DVD’s she thought they might enjoy. She could ship them to Florida via UPS in a day or so, to make sure they arrived well before Christmas.
She decided the Mulholland’s, Sam, Jon, and Ed were best left to Dan’s discretion, so that left only Dan himself to buy for.
He wouldn’t be so easy. Sure, she knew his clothing sizes by heart, and had a good idea of the colors he preferred, but the man had almost everything he could possibly want.
So she wandered some more, hoping against hope she might stumble on some unique things he would just love. Or at least not hate.
No such luck.
She settled on a new pair of jeans and a red sweater. He also liked Polo cologne, so she added a bottle to the growing pile in the cart. Not many gifts. She wandered on.
A funny coffee mug lamenting Monday mornings, personal planner, and a pair of slippers also wound up in the cart. After those, she couldn’t think of another thing to get for him, so she picked up wrapping supplies, and made a beeline for the check outs.
Could the crowds have been any worse, she wondered, trying to figure out which one she might get through the quickest. It didn’t matter. It was going to take forever no matter which one she chose.
A glance at her wristwatch told her she’d wasted more time than she’d realized, and that Dan was probably home by now. Great. Dinner should be ready and waiting on the table. No chance of that. If she were lucky she might get home in time to finish it for breakfast.
Willing the checker to hurry didn’t help, and she was starting to get more than a little stressed out. Listening to the cheerful holiday music piped throughout the store didn’t do much to calm her either. The only thing that kept her from packing it in and leaving was knowing she’d have to go through the entire process again. By the time it was her turn, she was nearly frantic. Next year, she vowed, she would have her shopping finished no later than August, and avoid this mess altogether.
Before Jess had even pulled to a stop in the garage, Dan was rushing out the door, his expression anxious. She wished she’d just stayed home.
“Dan, I’m sorry,” she apologized, near tears, climbing out quickly and looking up at him. “I didn’t mean to be gone this long. I’ll get dinner ready right away.”
“I already finished it,” he said, cupping her cheek. “Are you all right? I got home a couple of hours ago, and you weren’t here.” He’d probably been imagining car trouble, or an accident. Or had that the arrangement wasn’t working out for her, and she’d left him.
“I wanted to get my Christmas shopping done,” she explained, enjoying the feel of his strong, warm hand against her skin. The thought made her blush. “There must have been a thousand people at Meijer tonight.”
“I can imagine,” he said, smiling down at her. “Why don’t you go in and get cleaned up, while I unload this stuff? Then we can eat. You must be starving.”
“No.”
“No, you’re not hungry?” Jess laughed at his expression, like the possibility of her not being hungry should make headlines.
“Yes, I am hungry, but I’ll bring this stuff in later.”
“You’ve had a rough day. I’ll get it.”
“I’d rather do it myself,” she insisted.
“I do mind. I don’t want you lifting anything.” Dan was equally firm, and Jess wondered if they were going to argue about who got to take the presents inside.
“It’s not heavy, honest,” she said quickly. Dan looked at her suspiciously.
“Why don’t you want me to bring them in?” Jess lowered her eyes nervously.
“Because I bought your presents, too.” She heard his low chuckle, and felt herself being drawn against his solid chest. The feeling was- Well she didn’t know if she wanted to explore how it made her feel.
“If I promise not to peek, will you let me take them to your room?” She could hear the amusement in the request.
“You promise?”
“On my honor.”
“I guess it would be all right then.”
Jess felt even worse when she saw he’d not only cooked the pasta, but had garlic rolls warming in the oven, and a salad waiting in the refrigerator. Hanging her jacket on the back of a stool, she hurried to set the table. Everything was ready when he came down to join her.
“It looks like you got a lot of presents,” he observed, pulling her chair out. “I don’t suppose you’d like some help wrapping them?”
“Ha-ha,” Jess said, laughing at his less than selfless offer. “You can wait for Christmas, just like everyone else, Mr. Mulholland.” She recalled Monica’s earlier invitation, and relayed it to Dan. “I told her you’d call later.”
“Do you want to go?” he asked, piling his plate high. Jess knew he must be starving, and wished he hadn’t waited for her to get home.
“Don’t you?” she asked evasively, knowing if it were left for her, choose, she’d send their regrets.
“You’d be uncomfortable, wouldn’t you?”
“Probably a little.”
“Then we’ll stay home.”
“Dan, it’s your family, and it’s Christmas,” Jess protested, biting into a forkful of salad.
“We both know how my mother feels, Jess, and she’s not apt to change. So there’s really no point in our going.”
“I can handle it for a few hours.”
“Are you sure about that? If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I’d never have believed how nasty she could be.”
“I’m positive,” she insisted, wishing the event were already a memory. If it was just his father, it wouldn’t be bad. She liked Nate. Monica was another matter entirely. And who knew how the sister might be feeling?
“Fine. I’ll give her a call. But the first time she steps out of line, we’re leaving.”

~~~~~

With the dinner mess cleared away, and Jess safely in her room wrapping gifts, Dan started the chore of draping lights and pine boughs on stairway and landing. That was all that needed to be done in the house, and he didn’t plan to stop until the rails outside were finished as well.
The job, a no-brainer, gave him ample time to ponder the changes taking place between Jess and him. Changes he was beginning to like and look forward to. Like the hug in the garage. She didn’t pull away from him, as she might have done a couple short weeks ago.
He especially liked the sense of closeness, and friendship, that was developing between them. Except for the lack of intimacy, they lived like a normal couple.
It gave him hope for the future because, as sure as the day was long, he was falling in love with her. When it started to happen, he couldn’t have said, but he’d realized it sometime during the hours he’d waited at the window this afternoon.
That she might have been hurt, or might have left him, filled him with a fear. It had surprised him to realize how important she’d become, and it was then he’d known he would do whatever it took to make her love him.
Naturally, it would take time for her to get over Frank, but it wouldn’t be forever. Even now, she was a different woman than the one he’d first met. Sometimes sad? Without a doubt. But she seemed happy more often than not, and he’d be waiting when she was ready to put that part of her life behind her.
The railing finished, and looking quite festive, Dan rapped on Jess’s door, chuckling when he got a stern warning to keep out.
“I just wanted to let you know I’m heading outside if you need anything.”
“I’m fine,” she assured him, adding, “Dress warm. And wear a hat.”
“Will do, Mom.” he teased, then jogged down the stairs.
One day she would be wrapping gifts in his room, he knew, because he wasn’t going to let the annulment happen. Even if he had to whisk her and the baby away to a deserted island, she wasn’t going to leave him.
Wearing a down-filled jacked, thick knit cap, and insulated gloves, Dan carried an armful of multi-colored lights out into the frigid darkness. Forget the pine boughs, he decided within a second or two. He didn’t relish the thought of turning into a lawn ornament, because he’d frozen solid while trying to turn his yard in to a holiday fairyland.
Winters in Michigan always tended to be cold, but he figured the wind chill factor must be hovering around the fifty below zero mark. Or, he conceded, at least somewhere near zero. Or maybe he was just getting old and turning into a wimp, shivering and shaking in weather that wouldn’t have fazed him ten years ago.
“Want some help?” He had gotten about halfway down the first fence when Jess’s voice startled him.
“Help doing what? Giving me a heart attack?”
“Sorry,” she said, giggling.
“You sound sorry,” he teased, turning to face her. “Did you finish your wrapping?”
“Just your things. But I got tired of doing that, so I thought I’d come out here and help you instead.”
“It’s too cold for you to be out tonight.”
“You are,” she pointed out.
“I’m not pregnant.”
“Which is probably a good thing, given that you’re a guy. But I’m not an invalid, Dan. Believe me, it won’t hurt me to help for a while. The doctor told me I needed fresh air every day. And he didn’t qualify it with any cold weather restrictions either.” She picked up a box and began removing the lights. Dan sighed deeply and said,
“I think you‘d better ask that doctor of yours for a referral to an ophthalmologist.”
“What? Why would I do that?”
“Because this isn’t daytime, it’s nighttime. He said ‘every day.’ That means you’re supposed to get your fresh air before dark.” Jess chuckled softly, her breath forming billowing clouds of white in the cold.
“I’m sure he intended to leave it to my discretion.” She flashed him a grin and he smiled back.
“Oh, all right,” he said. “If you insist on turning yourself into an ice cube, why don’t you follow me with a couple of boxes? That way when I run out, I won’t have to come back here to get more.”
“Don’t overwork me now.”
With her help, considerably more than just carrying boxes, it didn’t take long before Dan was connecting an extension cord, and plugging it into an outlet on the side of the house. The yard was aglow with hundreds of twinkling lights, and he walked over to Jess, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. They stood there for a while, admiring their handiwork.
“Not too shabby, is it?” 
“It’s really pretty, Dan,” she agreed.
“We make a good team, don’t we?” She didn’t realize he meant that in more than one way.
“That we do.”
“So what do you say we celebrate a job well done?”
“Celebrate?”
“I picked up some brownies on my way home.”
“You did?” She looked up at him in pleased surprise.
“I hid them in the microwave.”
“Well, for heaven’s sake, let’s get to it then,” she exclaimed, putting her arm around his waist, and tugging him toward the house.

~~~~~

“So I was hoping maybe you and Jess might come along. With you two, Cal and Darby, and Ty and Emma, Holly might... Well, you know,” Sam finished lamely.
“Start looking at you like half of a couple?” Dan suggested, the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder, as he leafed through the file of the house he would be showing in less than an hour.
“Well, yeah. Maybe.”
“Have you asked the others yet?”
“I haven’t called them yet, no. I figured if you thought it was a dumb idea, you’d be honest with me, and I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself in front of anyone else.”
“So, what you’re really after is an opinion?” Dan grinned during the brief silence on the phone. Sam wasn’t looking for an opinion at all. He was so head over heels for Holly that he’d find any way possible to further that relationship. Or what he hoped would develop in to a relationship.
“I guess. Yes,” he finally muttered.
“Tell me when and where. I’m sure Jess will be game – as long as it’s not bumpy or rough.” A sleigh ride with a bunch of Boy Scouts should be tame enough entertainment. Besides, helping Sam would further his pursuit of his wife, and snuggling together under a blanket in a sleigh certainly seemed like a romantic way to do it.
“Thanks, Dan.” He could hear the smile, and the relief, in Sam’s voice. “Saturday night at seven.” Sam gave directions to the farm where the festivities would be, and rang off, vowing to get hold of Cal and Ty after work.
Dan grinned again, just thinking about an hour or so cuddling Jess.

~~~~~

Knowing the reason for their invitation, Jess kept a discreet eye on Holly during the surprisingly fun outing. Sure it was cold, but Dan made sure she was was comfortably warm, both with the quilt they’d brought along, as well as the arm he kept wrapped around her shoulders. Even when the first ride ended, and the crowd gathered around the bonfire to roast the mountain of hot dogs Sam had brought along, he stayed close to her side. Not that she minded. In fact, she found that she enjoyed being held by Dan.
“I think she does like him,” she whispered in Dan’s ear, after watching Holly stare at Sam for a particularly long time. He’d been helping her youngest boy, Billy, put a hot dog on a sharpened dowel and hold it over the fire, keeping a protective arm around him. She was sure the tenderness in Holly’s eyes wasn’t just for her son.
“Really?” Dan whispered back, his lips almost touching her ear. Jess nodded, trying to suppress a shiver. “Why?”
“I’ve been watching her watch him. You can just tell.”
“Must be a woman thing, huh?”
“What?”
“’You can just tell.’ Because I’ve been watching, too, and I couldn’t have said one way or the other.”
“Trust me,” Jess said quietly. “I don’t think Sam has anything to worry about. He just needs to get over being so nervous, and figure out a way to make the first move.”
“Nervous? Chicken, you mean,” Dan said with a chuckle.
“Shh. He may be a genius, Dan, but I don’t think he has a lot of confidence.” Not from what she’d observed over the past few weeks anyway. Sam seemed like a pretty shy guy.
“No,” Dan sighed. “I don’t know why either. He is smart, smarter than all the rest of us combined. He’s fairly wealthy. And he’s not ugly enough to actually scare anyone.” This time it was Jess who burst out laughing, but she cuffed his arm anyway.
“Dan. Not ugly? That’s mean. Sam’s adorable.”
“You two want to share?” Emma called from where she sat on the other side of the fire. “What’s so funny?”
“Private joke,” Dan said. Emma scowled at him, then grinned.
“Well stop monopolizing her will you? You get to see her every day.”
“Lucky me,” Dan said, tightening his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. Jess looked at him in surprise. It sure sounded like he meant what he’d just said.
“He’s always been a little selfish, Emma, so you have to stand your ground. Watch this. He’s going to share her with me,” Cal said, strolling over and pushing Dan aside to squeeze in between them. “Move over. Your Christmas party is next week, and I want to talk food with your wife.” Dan rolled his eyes, scowling as he got to his feet.
“I want her back in a few minutes,” he warned, as he scanned the crowd. Cal let out a gusty sigh.
“Oh I suppose. Darby wouldn’t let me keep her anyway. She’s kind of funny about things like that.”
“How old are the two of you?” Jess asked, shaking her head at their banter.
While she and Cal discussed the menu, and Jess admitted to feeling like she’d gotten in over her head, she watched Dan wander over to Holly and sling an arm around her shoulders. She heard him invite her to the party. Elated for Sam‘s sake, Holly nodded, accepting the invitation with a smile, even as Cal had her agreeing to let him to prepare the entree.
When Dan strolled over to Ty and Emma to make sure they were coming as well, Cal continued to cajole her, twisting her arm until she agreed to let him handle the appetizers, too. That left Jess with nothing to worry about but the salad, dessert and beverages. Then, mission apparently accomplished, Cal quickly kissed her cheek, and jumped up so he could rejoin his wife.
“There. You can have her back now.”
Jess didn’t miss the discreet thumbs up he flashed her husband’s way, or the relieved grin on Dan’s face when he saw it. Jess knew then that she’d been set up, but couldn’t find it in her heart to be offended. How could she be when Dan looked after her so conscientiously?

~~~~~

The remainder of the week passed quickly, as the time for the party drew near. With everyone Dan had invited, the count was well over fifty people, and Emma, Holly and Darby came over the night before the to help with the final preparations.
They spent the evening baking pies, and scrubbing mountains of potatoes that Cal had relented and allowed Jess to bake. Except the other women pretty much took over, kindly allowing Jess to polish the silverware.
Those chores out of the way, they spent the rest of the evening wrapping little gifts for everyone, while the ‘men’ finished painting the basement they’d been slaving away in, off and on since the previous weekend.
First thing in the morning tables and chairs from the local rental store would be delivered and, once everything was set up, they guys would be busy once again. This time with another manly chore, grilling Cal’s shish kebobs out on the deck.
“I’m beginning to see why Dan has this catered every year,” Jess sighed, adding another gift to the growing pile. That afternoon, she had peeled, sliced and soaked a dozen five pound bags of apples, and chopped more walnuts than she ever wanted to see again. 
“You’re doing too much,” Emma accused, winding curly ribbon around a small wrapped box.
“No, I’m not.” She glanced toward the basement door. “Be quiet, Em.”
“Afraid your husband will hear?” Holly asked. She looked lovely that evening, her auburn curls pulled back with green barrettes. She’d even dressed in the spirit of the holiday season, dark green slacks and a delicate white sweater, a border of tiny candy canes decorating its wide collar. Jess wondered if she’d dressed for Sam because she was a knockout.
“Gosh yes. He’s already threatening to make me stay in bed until the party starts. And I still want to make my cakes in the morning.”
“Then by all means, let’s be quiet,” Emma exclaimed. “Can’t deprive the guests of your cake.”
“Are you being sarcastic?” Darby asked, pausing in the task of cutting paper for the gift she was wrapping.
“Not even a little,” Emma assured her quickly. “I’d have a hard time choosing a favorite between brownies, and Jess’s cake.”
“What is it?”
“Four layers of heaven on earth. She bakes white cakes, layers them with cooled vanilla pudding, the kind you cook. Then she frosts the whole thing with sweetened whipping cream, and tops it all with cherry pie filling. Mmm.”
“That sounds wonderful. And perfect for a Christmas party, I’d think. I’ll bet it looks really festive.”
“It does. And it tastes even better.”


CHAPTER 9

 Christmas Eve finally arrived, the evening Jess had been dreading since Monica called with the invitation. But there was nothing to be done about it, and so she dressed for the occasion with care. Maybe if it looked like she was making an effort, her mother-in-law would, too.
Dan had brought the dress home the previous night, and she’d fallen in love with it. Hunter green velvet, with full sleeves, its neckline, hem and waist were trimmed in white satin, she knew she’d never owned anything quite so beautiful. Nor anything that looked as good on her as this did now.
It was long, falling several inches below her knees, and it flattered her ever-growing middle, though there was no doubt it hid, within its folds, an incredibly active baby. Sometimes she wondered if she were going to give birth to an acrobat.
Later, sitting at the vanity in the bathroom, she’d already pulled her hair back with white beaded barrettes, and was just getting ready to apply her makeup when the door to Dan’s room opened. He walked in looking very handsome in creased black slacks and a white sweater.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized when he noticed her in front of the mirror. “I didn’t realize you were in here.”
“It’s all right. I can finish up in my room,” she told him, starting to slide her chair back. He put a hand on her shoulder.
“I just need a quick shave. If you don’t mind sharing the space, you might as well stay.”
Jess felt a peculiar shyness as they performed their respective tasks, Dan gliding the razor over a day’s growth of beard, while she tried to apply eye shadow. Not an easy thing to do when she kept glancing at the man beside her, fascinated with what he was doing, and the funny faces he made while doing it.
“Haven’t you ever seen a man shave before?” he asked, after a moment.
“Not even once,” she admitted, embarrassed at having been caught staring. She’d tried to be discreet, and obviously failed.
To further entertain his audience of one, Dan began to make exaggerated, ridiculous faces that had her laughing so hard, she had to give up on her face painting until he’d finished.
“Now can I watch you? He asked, lowering the lid on the stool and straddling it. “I’ve never had the privilege of watching a woman put on her makeup before.”
“I guess if you want to,” she said, blushing to the roots of her hair. Now that she was the observed one, her amusement faded quickly.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll poke your eye out with that thing?” Dan whistled as she applied mascara to her long lashes. She wished he weren’t so intent on what she was doing. Already she’d had to wipe her lipstick off and start over, because he was making her so nervous. But that had only made him smile.
“Not if I concentrate on what I’m doing.”
“All I can say is thank God I’m not a woman.”
“Me, too,” Jess said, chuckling. “I’d have a tough time trying to explain to people why my husband is a girl.”

~~~~~

The Mulholland house was lit up like a Roman candle by the time Dan parked the car alongside the curb. Jess feared the house would be filled with guests, though Dan assured her that only his folks, his sister, her husband, and their son would be waiting for them. He helped her to the sidewalk, before retrieving two large shopping bags filled with gaily wrapped packages. He’d bought them himself, but gladly allowed his wife to wrap them when she offered.
“Well Merry Christmas, you two,” Nate said jovially, a warm and welcoming smile on his face when he opened the door. “Let’s get you in out of the cold, Jess.” He took her elbow and kissed her cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“Just fine, thanks.”
“You’re certainly looking lovely tonight, isn’t she, Dan?
“I think so,” he answered quietly, gazing at her with something close to tenderness in his eyes. Jess could feel the heat in her cheeks and knew she was blushing. “But then I may be a bit prejudiced where my wife is concerned.”
“Aren’t we all?” Nate murmured, raising his brows at his son. “Come on in. Some people are starting to get a little impatient in there.”
“I take it you mean Tyler?” Dan asked, referring to his three year old nephew. Nate raised a finger to his lips and whispered,
“Between you and me, I think that boy could use a tranquilizer. He’s worse than the three of you kids ever were.”
“Then we’d best not keep him waiting.” Dan set the bags on the hall floor, and removed his coat while Nate assisted Jess, before they walked to the living room.
“Uncle Dan!” a small, sandy haired boy squealed, running to Dan and throwing his arms around his legs.
“Who’s this?” Dan teased, reaching down to pick the child up and lift him in the air. “Did Santa forget to take you back to the north pole, little elf?”
“I’m not an elf, Uncle Dan.”
“Then you must be candy. A green and red candy cane.” Tyler giggled gleefully when Dan pretended to eat his neck.
“I’m not a candy cane.”
“Then who, or what, are you?”
“It’s me, Tyler,” Tyler said with a laugh. Dan kissed his cheek and set him back on the floor.
“With all that red and green you’re wearing, I could have sworn you were an elf, or a piece of candy.”
“I’m just a boy!”
“A boy who wants some presents, I’d bet.”
“Oh yes.” He eyed the bags greedily. “Are those for me?”
“Some of them are,” Nate told him with a smile. “But only good little boys who sit quietly by the tree get to open them.”
Everyone laughed as Tyler made a dash for the tree, plopping down on his bottom, and looking expectantly at them. Nate steered Jess to a couple who must be Tyler’s parents.

~~~~~

“Jess, this is my daughter, Molly, and her husband, Gary. They weren’t able to attend the wedding.”
“Under the circumstances, there didn’t seem to be any point in making the drive,” Molly said stiffly. Dan shot her an irritated glare, so she added grudgingly, “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Same here,” Jess said quietly, glad when Dan put his arm around her waist.
“Let’s sit over here,” he suggested, leading her to a love seat across the room. It looked like he would need to stay close to shield her from at least a couple of members of his family. “Comfortable?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“How about some of Mom’s homemade eggnog?” Nate asked, trying to ease the tension in the room.
“I’ll have some, Dad, but none for my wife, thanks.” He looked hard at his mother and sister, a grim smile curving his lips. “I’m afraid eggnog tends to make her a little nauseous.”
“Some warm apple cider then?”
“That sounds lovely, Mr. Mulholland.” 
“Why don’t you bring the tray of cookies in,” Monica called after her husband. Then she looked at Jess with a forced smile and said, “I picked up some brownies at Westside Deli. Dan said they were your favorite sweet.”
“Thank you,” Jess murmured, looking at her hands, tightly clasped in her lap.
“My favorite, too,” Dan said, stroking her shoulder. They were leaving early. Just as soon as Tyler opened his gifts. As if on cue, Tyler whined,
“I want my presents.”
“When Grandpa gets back,” Molly soothed. “Honey, why don’t you give him a hand?”
Gary Sinclair, a pleasant looking man with the same sandy hair as his son, couldn’t seem to get out of the room fast enough, shooting Jess a commiserating glance on his way past. It seemed that only Monica and Molly had a problem with Jess being here.
“We’ll leave when the presents are done,” he whispered in her ear. Jess shook her head. 
Dan knew she would try to tough it out for his sake, but any joy he might have felt at getting together with his family was gone. All he wanted was to leave. To take her home, away from the undeserved hostility.
“So how was your party?” Molly asked. The question had come out too loud, and self-conscious, she ran a hand through her brown locks.
“Same as usual. Except the desserts were better this year. I married an exceptional cook.” His mother’s lips tightened in a scowl.
“I’m surprised she could handle it.” Apparently she realized her comment sounded more like an insult, because Molly was quick to add, “I mean, I remember what it was like to be pregnant. And feeding that mob is a lot of work under the best conditions.”
“What’s hard work?” Nate asked, carrying a tray laden with treats. He leaned down to sit it on the coffee table. Gary did the same with a second, this one holding dishes and utensils.
“Dan was just telling us that Jess did all the desserts for his party,” Molly explained.
“I hear it was good stuff,” Nate said, handing Jess a thick mug of cider. “Everyone at the office was raving about the cake. What was it? Pudding and whipped cream and... strawberries?”
“Cherries, Dad. And it was good. You should have passed on the concert.”
“I will next year. Maybe I can talk her into making one for me before then.” He winked at Jess.
“I’d be happy-”
“We can’t put her to that kind of trouble,” Monica snapped, interrupting Jess in mid-sentence. “She is expecting, after all.”
“Maybe after the baby comes,” Nate said quietly. The look he sent his wife made it clear he was growing tired of her attitude.
“Grandpa? Now can we open presents?” Tyler begged.
“I don’t see why not. Dan, do you want to play Santa this year?” Dan shook his head, pulling Jess closer.
“I’m enjoying myself right here. Gary?”
The pile of gifts under the tree disappeared with amazing swiftness, leaving mountains of rumpled paper behind. Tyler’s excitement had eased a little of the tension, until he innocently asked about the three unopened gifts that were left.
“Whose are those?”
“Uncle Bruce’s,” Molly whispered.
“Where’s Uncle Bruce? Don’t he want his presents?”
“I’m sure he’d like them very much, but he can’t be here,” Monica said stiffly.
“But I wanna see him.”
“Sorry about that, partner,” Gary said, trying to distract him with a new fire truck.
“”But why can’t he come? Don’t he like me no more?”
“Uncle Bruce loves you, sweetheart.” Monica knelt down and hugged him close, glaring at Jess. “He really wanted to be with us tonight, but he can’t.”
“I’ve had just about enough of this,” Dan muttered, starting to rise from the love seat.
“Dan, don’t,” Jess pleaded, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Um, could you tell me where the bathroom is? I’m afraid I must have had too much cider.” The fact her glass hadn’t been touched didn’t go unnoticed.
“Jess-”
“Please, Dan?”
“It’s upstairs. Second door on your right.” He waited until he was sure she was out of earshot before he let fly. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do,” he said, “but it stops now.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Monica said with a pout.
“I think you do.” He turned to Gary. “Why don’t you take Tyler out to the kitchen. Santa won’t come if there isn’t a big glass of milk waiting for him.” He waited a moment before continuing. No need for the boy to hear this. “You’re doing your best to make Jess feel like she doesn’t belong here.”
“She doesn’t belong here,” his mother hissed. “If it weren’t for her, my Bruce would be here right now.”
“Good grief, I don’t believe you. If it weren’t for Bruce, Jess’s first husband would be celebrating Christmas with her. Bruce murdered him, Mom. You can’t blame her for that.”
“What do you want me to do? Welcome her like a daughter? Well I won’t do it. I wish you’d never married her.”
“It’s a little late for that. She’s my wife.”
“Not for long, thank God,” Molly said peevishly.
“Not if I have any say in the matter,” Dan said quietly. All eyes zeroed in on him.
“What are you saying, son?” Nate asked.
“I love her, Dad. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she stays with me.” Monica gasped in horror, clutching the area around her heart like a drama queen in a cheesy soap opera.
“You wouldn’t be so cruel.”
“Cruel? No. Jess is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. If you can’t accept her as part of this family, then I guess you don’t accept me either.” He crossed to the doorway. “We’ll be leaving as soon as she comes back down.”
“Dan, don’t go,” Nate said, extending his hand toward his son. “If Jess is what you want, then it’s fine with us. You know that. Isn’t that right, Monica?” Dan looked at his mother, then at Molly, but neither would meet his eyes.
“I guess you’re wrong, Dad.” He pulled their coats from the closet.
“Monica- For the love of heaven, say something.” Nate pleaded with his wife to relent, but she remained silent. “Monica! They’re leaving.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Dad, never mind. I’ll see you at the office, and you know you’re welcome to come to the house whenever you want.”
“You aren’t coming back, are you?”
“As long as Jess isn’t welcome here, no.”


CHAPTER 10

Jess was silent on the drive home, and Dan couldn’t think of a thing to say that might make her feel better. He wanted to apologize for his mother and sister, but how did one go about making excuses for something like that? The fact that they blamed Jess for Bruce being in jail was beyond ludicrous. But he supposed it didn’t matter. From here on out he would make sure, whatever their problem was, his wife wouldn’t be hurt again.
Glancing at her as he eased the car in the garage, he saw her discreetly wipe her eyes, and he wanted to hold her. To do something to make her world right again. Unfortunately, the only thing he could do was try and take her mind off what had happened.
“What do you say to some popcorn and hot cocoa by the fire?” he suggested, opening her door and helping her out. “I can get it started while you go up and change.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Jess hurried inside and out of sight before Dan could say another word.
He watched her go and was ashamed of his family. Not his father and Gary. They’d done their best to stop their wives. But the other two, his mother and sister- It had been obvious from the start that they were going to take their anguish out on Jess. And they’d succeeded, much to his disgust.
Try as he might, he couldn’t understand where they got off making Jess the ‘bad guy.’ Or how, deep down, they were able to justify their behavior. He was sure there was a renowned psychologist somewhere, who would be able to identify the reason, but it would never be good enough for him. Not after they’d chosen to hang on to their irrational feelings and let him walk out of the door tonight.
With a sigh, he got the corn popper he used in the fireplace from the pantry and took it to the living room. There he lit a match to the kindling beneath three logs, and waited until he was sure it was burning nicely before returning to the kitchen to start the cocoa. Maybe he’d put ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ in the DVD player when everything was ready. It was a good movie, and might lift her spirits a bit.
“What can I do?” Jess asked from behind him. Dan turned to see that she’d slipped into a pair of blue stretch pants and a white maternity sweater. He also took note of her eyes, red-rimmed from crying.
“You could get a couple of mugs out of the cupboard if you want. And a big bowl.” He’d already added the marshmallows to the pan, and they were just beginning to melt.
“Do you want me to pop the corn?”
“I’ll do it in the other room. Do you want to split that chocolate bar in the drawer?” The big, thick kind with almonds she liked so well.
“I guess so.” Not much enthusiasm, even for chocolate.
“It looks like we’re ready.” He let her carry her mug, and the jar of popcorn while he took the rest. He asked her about the movie as he knelt in front of the fireplace. “Have you ever seen it?”
“No.”
“Would you like to?”
“If you want.” So far, no good.
“Go ahead and get it out of the cabinet. I’ll be finished here in a minute, and we can get comfortable, and enjoy our snacks.”
“You do realize my doctor is going to have a fit if I don’t stop eating so much.” It was the first semi-normal comment she’d made since they’d left his parent’s house.
“Tough. Take him a box of tissues. Come here.” He patted the spot on the sofa beside him when everything was ready. “Sit beside me and we can share.”

~~~~~

Jess didn’t argue, glad to be close to someone right now. She was feeling rather abused and lonely, and Dan was such a nice person to be with. Who better than him to cheer her?
It seemed perfectly natural to snuggle against him after he put his arm on the back of the sofa behind her. Not that she was paying him much attention. This movie, it turned out, was one of the best she’d ever seen, and she was thoroughly captivated by the story. George was discovering what life would have been like had he never been born, and she vaguely wondered if she’d ever touched anyone in a significant way during her lifetime.
“What on earth?” Dan asked when Jess’s mug of cocoa, which she’d been resting on her softly rounded belly, sloshed over onto her sweater. He tried to wipe it with his hand, thankful it was only warm, not hot out of the pan.
“The baby kicked,” Jess explained, smiling at his surprised reaction. Dan’s eyes widened when he felt a jab beneath his fingers.
“Does it hurt?” he asked incredulously.
“No.”
“My goodness, I think we’ve got a football player on our hands. Did you feel that?” ‘That’ being an especially hard jab.
“Do you want to see?” Jess asked shyly, touched by Dan’s excitement. He nodded eagerly, and she raised the hem of her sweater and pushed the waistband of her slacks down a bit.
Dan couldn’t take his eyes away from the sight, clearly awed by the rolling movements before him. Hesitantly, he reached out a finger, gently touching her side. It was where the most vigorous activity seemed to be. Covering his hand with her own, Jess flattened it and said,
“I think that’s a foot.”
“Wow.” No sound came from him as his lips formed the word.

~~~~~

“You ought to see him,” Jess said, over yet another lunch with Emma. Their weekly get-togethers were becoming something of a tradition now, and Jess looked forward to the alone time with her friend.
“It does sound like he’s pretty fascinated with the baby, doesn’t it?”
“That’s not the half of it. Not only does he spend most of his time with his hands on my stomach, but he’s even bought a bunch of Dr. Seuss books.”
“Why?” Emma asked, taking a sip of her Coke. “The baby won’t be able to read for years.” Jess laughed harder.
“Dan reads them.” Emma made a face to show that she didn’t believe her.
“Isn’t he a little old for Dr. Seuss?
“He reads them to the baby.”
“Yeah, right.”
“He does,” Jess insisted. “He was reading a baby book, and it said that babies in the womb can hear. So he has me sit on the couch, and he lies down with his head in my lap and reads out loud. It’s a riot.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm, what?” Jess demanded.
“Nothing.” She spooned some chili into her mouth, grinning while she chewed it.
“I know you. You don’t say hmm for no reason.” She looked hard at her friend. “What are you thinking up now?”
“You don’t want to know what I’m thinking. It would probably offend you.”
“I’ll be offended if you don’t tell me.”
“Okay.” She took another bite of her food, ignoring Jess’s glare, and waited until she’d swallowed before gave in. “Okay. I don’t think Dan could be happier about this baby than if it were really his.”
“Well, he is going to adopt it,” Jess pointed out.
“That’s to get Bentley off your case. No. It’s my guess he’s starting to get attached to the baby...and its mother.”
“No.” Jess shook her head. “Dan’s no more interested in me than I am in him.”
“But you’ve already admitted you are interested in him.”
“I have not.” She knew it was a lie, even as she said the words.
“Jess, why fight it?” Emma asked quietly. “There could be worse things than falling in love with your husband.”
“Listen to you. You’re being ridiculous.” And she was making Jess uncomfortable with her implications. She picked up a french fry and pointed it at Emma. “It’s a temporary marriage.”
“Is it?”
“If I told Dan what you’ve said, he’d think you were nuts.”
“Maybe.”
“Would you stop it?” She threw the fry down and scowled at Emma.
“Hey, don’t have a cow.” She reached across the table and squeezed Jess’s hand. “Does falling in love with Dan make you feel guilty about Frank?”
“Falling in love with anyone would make me feel disloyal to Frank,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “Listen to what you’re suggesting. How would you feel if Ty died, and I started pushing you to fall in love again less than six months after the funeral?” Emma shrugged her shoulders.
“About the same as you, I expect.”
“Dan and I are friends. That’s all.”
“Whatever you say.”

~~~~~

“Jess, are you sure you want to go?” Dan asked, while they stood in the kitchen. Bruce’s trial was set for that morning, and Jess was determined to be there.
“I’m sure.”
“You’re a witness. They won’t let you in the courtroom anyway. You might as well stay home until they need you.” He adjusted the tie circling his throat.
Jess had been pale and withdrawn for days, and Dan was worried. She’d been doing so well, he was afraid the trial would bring the memories back so strong it would send her into another depression. Or worse, break the fragile bond that had formed between them.
“I’m going,” she said flatly.
“I guess I’ll see if there’s a private room where we can wait then,” he said in resignation. She’d go, he knew, with or without him.
“You don’t have to stay with me. I know you’ll want to be with your brother.” She didn’t seem to resent the fact that he was also worried about Bruce.
“Jess, my first loyalty is to you.” He reached out and pulled her into his arms, holding her close. “I don’t think this is good for you, or the baby, and if you’re going, I’m going to be close by so I can make sure you’re all right.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, burying her face against his chest. He wished he could hold her there forever but said, 
“I guess we’d better get this show on the road.” He got their coats from the closet, and they left for the courthouse, a drive as silent as the one had been Christmas Eve.
“Dan.” Nate hailed them as they walked along the sidewalk, struggling against a blustery wind.
“Dad,” he acknowledged, holding Jess at his side, and urging her to hurry. “We’ll talk inside.”
Nate walked beside them, and they were all relieved when they reached the welcoming warmth of lobby.
“How are you holding up?” he asked Jess, kissing her cheek.
“Better than you are, I expect,” she said, squeezing his hand. He’d been a frequent visitor to the house, and he knew she had grown more than a little fond of his father.
“Don’t worry about me. You just concentrate on taking care of yourself and my little grandson.” Apparently, he’d had decided since Dan was adopting the baby, he was going to take advantage of it. Loving the role of 'grandpa', he could care less if the child was related by blood or not.
“It might be a girl, Dad,” Dan drawled, walking pointedly toward the elevator. The trial should be starting in about ten minutes, and they needed to be up there. Who knew how long it would be before they called Jess in to testify.
 “I can live with that.”
As the doors closed, and the cube began to move upward, all pretense at normal conversation ended, and the three occupants didn’t speak again until they left Nate at the courtroom door.
“I’ll let you know what’s happening when I can,” he told them.
“I’m going to try and track down a place where we can wait in privacy, Dad.”
“I’ll find you.” He disappeared behind the heavy doors to join his wife and daughter, already there and waiting for him.
Dan asked around, and they were directed to a small room bare of anything but a table and two chairs. Wordlessly, Jess sat in one while Dan took the other.

~~~~~

The absence of sound was disconcerting, as the seconds crawled by. It was so quiet she could hear Dan’s even breaths, just as he surely must hear hers. Jess was certain she’d never heard this degree of silence before, and she hoped she never would again.
“Shall I try to hunt up some magazines?” Dan asked after several endless minutes.
“No. I don’t think I could concentrate on anything right now anyway. Thanks for asking.” At this rate, the day would be never ending.
It wasn’t long before a light rap sounded at the door. Dan opened it to find Sam and Jon standing there, looking out of place and uncomfortable. Sam told them that Cal and Darby were in the courtroom, and would deliver any important information, but that they were here to keep them company. Jon whipped out a deck of cards saying,
“Euchre, anyone?”
Long didn’t even come close to describing the eternity the morning session lasted. It helped that they played game after game of Euchre, stopping only when Sam went off in search of sodas. By the time the judge called for the lunch recess, it felt like they’d been sitting there for days.
Nate, along with Cal and Darby, found them and briefly explained that Bruce had pled guilty, and the medical examiner had testified. It seemed likely Jess would be called in that afternoon.
“This is probably going to be the shortest trial in history,” Nate murmured, looking strained. Dan squeezed his shoulder. “Bruce told the judge he wants it over as quickly as possible, and that he wants the stiffest sentence he can get.”
“He said that?” Dan asked. Nate nodded.
“He even said the trial wasn’t necessary, but the judge refused to set it aside.” Jess saw that Dan had paled, and put her arm around his waist in a gesture of comfort. He smiled his thanks. “I hate to be rude, but your mother and sister are waiting.”
“I assume we aren’t welcome to join you?”
“I wouldn’t, Dan.” Dan and Jess knew how hard that had been for him to say. “They haven’t stopped crying since Bruce took the witness stand. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Jess said gently. Nate smiled a little, then walked way from the small group as he hurried to join his distraught wife.
“Hungry?” Dan asked after a moment.
“Why do you always ask me that when you know my answer is always going to be yes?” She made an attempt at lightness, deciding it was time she started thinking about how Dan must be feeling, because it finally hit her how difficult this whole situation must be for him. She needed to show him some of the same consideration he’d been showing her for months.
“Have you ever eaten at Dimitri’s?” Jon asked out of the blue.
“Once. When Em and I were kids.”
“Want to head over there now for lunch?”
“I love greasy burgers and fries.”
“I know,” Dan said with a grin. He helped her into her coat. “Button up tight, or they’ll have to thaw us out before we can sit in a booth.”

~~~~~

“So you didn’t actually see the assailant’s face,” the blond defense attorney asked, once Jess had finished describing what she’d seen the night of Frank’s murder.
“No.” 
Jess felt sick to her stomach. Facing Bruce for the first time had been hard. He didn’t look like the monster she’d imagined him to be. Rather, like a pitiful young man who’d made a serious mistake. But add to that Monica, Molly, and Phillip, all sitting there glaring at her, and it was so much worse.
“So it could have been anyone in the parking lot with your husband, and you would never be able to identify him?”
“That’s right.”
“Mrs. Bentley. Excuse me, it’s Mrs. Mulholland now, isn’t it? You have since married the defendant’s brother, correct?”
“Yes.”
“That is certainly a strange turn of events. Mrs. Mulholland, we have received anonymous information that indicates that you and your current husband were having a relationship prior to your first husband’s murder.”
“No! That‘s not true,” Jess cried out, all color leaving her face.
“Objection!” the prosecutor shouted.
“Mrs. Mulholland, isn’t it true that you asked Bruce Mulholland to murder Frank Bentley so you could be free to marry his brother?”
“No,” Jess repeated, tears streaming down her face. She was saw that Dan had lurched to his feet, more angry than she’d ever seen him.
“Objection!” the red-faced prosecutor boomed once more.
“Mrs. Mulholland, did you have anything to do with the death of Frank Bentley?”
“Your Honor, I repeat, objection.”
“Overruled. The witness will answer the question.”
“No, I did not,” Jess whispered, wiping the tears from her face. “I loved Frank.”
“So much so that you married the defendant’s brother what, four months after his death?”
“That’s enough!” Bruce shouted, rising to his feet. “I’ve done enough to hurt her. Leave her alone.”
“Order in the court!” The sound of a striking gavel echoed throughout the courtroom.
“Excuse me, your Honor.” The attorney turned toward Bruce, and there was a heated discussion before he again looked at the judge. “I have no further questions.”
“You’re excused, Mrs. Mulholland.”
Jess could barely step down from the witness stand because her legs were shaking. She saw that the only friendly faces were Cal, Darby, and not surprisingly, Nate, who smiled his encouragement. She also saw that Dan had come forward to meet her, trying to hide his outrage at the line the questioning had taken. Gratefully, she walked into his arms, and let him lead her out to the hallway, where she promptly started to sob.
“Jess.” Dan was torn between wanting to get his wife safely home, and waiting until court let out so that he could beat the defense attorney to within an inch of his life.
Ignoring the people walking by, he stroked her hair and murmured comforting words until she’d calmed down a bit.
“Are you ready to go home now?” he asked softly.
“Yes.”
With child-like hope, Dan pulled into the parking lot of Westside Deli thinking brownies might help, but she barely managed a smile when he handed her the customary pizza box. Stupid, he thought, wanting to kick himself. Like this could make up for the ordeal she’d just been through.
“How could he ask me that?” Jess asked, partway home.” I didn‘t even meet you until months later.”
“I know, sweetheart.” Dan was still stunned over the fiasco. “Maybe he thought the jury would go easier on Bruce if he got them wondering if you’d been involved.”
“I could never have done that. Did your brother tell him to say that?”
“No. Bruce made it clear that the fault was his, and no one believes you had any part in it. No one, Jess.”

~~~~~

Jess didn’t argue when Dan insisted she go upstairs for a nap when they finally got home. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so exhausted, the strain of the day taking its toll on her. It was almost too much of an effort to climb the stairs to her room, and then step out of the simple navy dress she’d put on that morning. It felt like a lifetime ago.
Wearing only her slip, she slid under the covers and got as comfortable as she could. The baby, however, didn’t seem the least bit tired, active as ever. It didn’t matter. Her eyelids were heavy, and she closed them, anticipating the sleep to come.
Sweetheart? Had Dan actually spoken the endearment? It was the last thought she had before she slept.


CHAPTER 11

It was dark when Jess opened her eyes, and she wondered why Dan hadn’t woken her sooner. The clock on the dresser read ten of eight, and her stomach rumbled, reminding her it had been hours since her last meal. She quickly rid herself of the slip, and pulled on a pair of white sweats and a red flannel shirt. Lord, but she was starving. As she hurried down the stairs, she really hoped Dan had made supper.
It didn’t dawn on her until she reached the last step that, except for a faint glow from the living room, the house was dark. Had he fallen asleep, too? The day hadn’t been easy for him either.
Her step light, she tiptoed across the hall and was surprised to see him sitting on the sofa, a photo album in his lap, his face wet with tears. She must have made some slight noise because he looked up, and then she knew something was terribly wrong.
“Dan, what is it?”
“Bruce is dead,” he said thickly.
“What?”
“He hung himself when he got back to the jail this afternoon,” came the whispered response. It nearly broke her heart when Dan clenched his jaws hard to keep from crying out loud, and she hurried to him and sat down, wrapping her arms around him.
“I am so sorry.” She felt him trembling, and held him tighter.
“You don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes. “I’m sorry for you and your family. I know you loved him, and I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”
He broke down then, and Jess felt helpless. She wished there was something she could do to ease his pain, but knew firsthand that no words would make it easier to bear. “It’s all right. Let it out.”
“I should have gone to see him.”
“You didn’t know, Dan.”
“But he looked so bad in court today.”
“Shh. You aren’t to blame.”
“Bruce used to be such a good kid.”
“I’m sure he was.”
“I should have tried to help him more.”
“You said you tried for years, but he refused,” she reminded him gently. Whoever would have thought she’d be comforting someone because Bruce Mulholland died?
“I should have tried harder.”
“Dan, you can’t help someone if he won’t let you. You did everything you could.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
He held onto her like a lifeline while he cried, remembering his childhood, and how close he and Bruce had once been. He told her about a fishing trip, taken when they were small. About Bruce’s revulsion toward worms, and how funny it had been because, after that, he’d found he could scare his brother into anything by simply threatening him with one of the spongy creatures.
“I was so mean to him.”
“You were a boy. That’s what boys do.” The phone rang, like it always seemed to do in a crisis.
“Would you get that please?”
“Whoever it is can call back if it’s important.” She didn’t want to leave him.
“It might be my dad.”
“I didn’t think- I’m sorry. Will you be all right?”
“Yeah.”
Reluctantly, she let him go and jogged to the kitchen, praying it wasn’t Monica. It was Emma.
“Jess, I just heard. Is it true?”
“Yes, but I can’t talk now. Dan is taking it hard, and I want to get back to him.”
“How are you? I heard things were rough in court today.”
“I’m fine.” Amazingly enough, she’d forgotten all about it. “But I need to get back to Dan,” she repeated, thinking of him all alone. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Tell him we’re sorry.”
“I will.” She hung up without even saying good-bye, and started to hurry back to her husband when the phone rang yet again. Ed this time, wanting to know if there was anything he or the guys could do. Jess thanked him, and promised to call if she could think of anything, but she just wanted to get back to Dan.
In the short time she’d been gone he’d managed to pull himself together a little, still she went to sit beside him. “That was Emma, and then Ed, calling to give you their condolences.” It was partly the truth anyway.
“They’re nice people,” he said absently.
“Dan, is there anything I can do?”
“Yes. Can I hold you for a while?”
“I’m all yours.” She settled against him, as he put his arms around her. This might offer some comfort, but she knew he needed to talk. “What was it like when you and Bruce were growing up?” She felt him kiss her hair.
“I’m sure the last thing you want to hear about is my brother. Even when he was a nice kid.”
“I don’t mind. I’d like to know.” Darn it. Her stomach rumbled so loud Dan even heard it, and he chuckled.
“I think we should probably feed you instead.”
“It can wait.” She’d never gotten this hungry before her pregnancy.
“I don’t think so.” He got up and heaved her to her feet. “It’ll have to be soup and sandwiches, I’m afraid. I didn’t have a chance to make supper.”
“I’d settle for those brownies you bought.”
“Something nutritious first, I think. We have a baby to consider here, and he or she might not love brownies as much as my wife does.”
Dan did talk while they ate fried egg sandwiches and tomato soup. He actually did more talking than eating, and Jess was worried, even as she wolfed down her food, following it with two brownies and a huge glass of milk. He talked late into the night, reminiscing about a time, long ago, when he and Bruce were as close as brothers could be.

~~~~~

The knock sounded on the door bright and early the next morning. Jess hadn’t even crawled out of bed yet, though she’d been awake and listening for Dan for quite some time. She quickly donned her robe and hurried to the stairs, where she saw Dan in a serious conversation with Ed. They glanced up to where she stood, and their expressions had her clutching the railing.
“What’s wrong?” she asked reluctantly.
“Maybe you should get dressed while I make breakfast,” Dan suggested. She noted that he was fully dressed – in the same clothes he’d worn the day before. Obviously he hadn’t been to bed yet.
“We’ll talk in a few minutes,” Ed said gently. “Get on and get dressed, Jess. I’ll help your husband.”
Feeling as though she might be sick, Jess hurried back to her room, and pulled on a pair of black stretch pants and a soft pink sweater and socks. It was only minutes before she joined the men in the kitchen, where Dan was preparing oatmeal and toast. Ed sat at the counter looking nervous. Jess walked over to butter the toast that had popped up as she came in, hoping the simple task would calm her thoughts.
“Are you joining us, Ed?” she asked, trying to smile.
“I’ve already eaten thanks. You two go ahead.”
The silence reminded her of the small room where they had waited the day before. Too loud. Dan seemed to move mechanically, his face lined with strain, his eyes haunted. Jess longed to wrap her arms around him, offer any comfort he would accept from her, but remained at the toaster, waiting for the rest to finish.
“So what brings you calling so early?” she finally asked, sitting two saucers of perfectly browned toast on the table.
“We’ll talk after you two have eaten,” Ed said evasively. Jess sat on the stool next to him.
“Why don’t we talk now?” She saw him look at Dan helplessly. She watched him shrug, as he walked to stand behind her.
“Might as well get it over with,” he said, laying his hands on her shoulders. Ed cleared his throat. And then cleared it again.
“I-uh-”
“Jess,” Dan said, letting his friend off the hook. “Ed is here to take us to the Lansing Police Department.”
“Why?” She closed her eyes, knowing the answer wouldn’t be anything she wanted to hear.
“His boss wants to talk to us.” Jess closed her eyes tightly.
“Because of what Bruce’s attorney said yesterday?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Nothing will come of it,” Ed assured her vehemently. “I believe that information came from Phillip Bentley, and Bruce never – never –implicated you. Not in any way.”
“I didn‘t have anything to do with it,” Jess whispered.
“We know, sweetheart. This is nothing but a formality, and it will all be over in a couple of hours. I promise.”

~~~~~

While the ordeal at the police station was over in a very few hours, Dan and Jess did make the front page, leading some people to believe they had, indeed, been involved – in some way – in Frank’s murder. Surprisingly, Dan was actually more upset about it than Jess, who didn’t really care about public opinion.
All she cared about was him, and she made it her mission to take care of him, as much as he would let her, in the days leading up to the funeral. She took over answering the telephone, dealing with the press –who somehow managed to get their home number. They kept calling, wanting to get their side of the story. She also dealt with the many condolence cards that poured in, and even made sure he ate a decent supper every night.
So as sad as he was to be facing the funeral of his only brother, Dan was also filled with a burgeoning hope. Jess was acting like a real, honest to goodness wife.

~~~~~

“Jess, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Dan told her when she insisted on accompanying him to the funeral. They were sitting at the table eating supper when she brought the subject up.
“I want to be with you,” she said, biting into a forkful of mashed potatoes. Darby had dropped by earlier with a complete Swiss steak dinner. Holly had come the day before with meatloaf and mashed potatoes. And even now a pan of Emma’s lasagna waited in the refrigerator for their supper tomorrow.
“My mother and sister will be there. Do you really want to risk it?”
“I can take it. I’m tough.” For the first time in two days he really laughed.
“Like a crème puff.”
“You’d be surprised.” He might not realize it yet, but when push came to shove, she could deal with most anything. 
“Jess, they’ve hurt you before. I don’t want it to happen again.” Even now he was thinking about her welfare, when he should have been thinking about his own, and she just wanted to hug him.
“Dan, you’ve been there for me through so many things. I want to be here for you now. But only if you think it would help.”
“It would help a lot,” he said quietly, his eyes soft as he looked at her. “But it’s not worth it, Jess. They were nasty before. God only knows what they might do now.” She reached across the table and stroked his cheek.
“Would you let me do some worrying for a change? I’ll drive the Jeep, and if it gets too rough and I can’t handle it, I’ll come home. Okay?”
“Okay.” He gave in with without protest, surprising her. “But you’ll ride with me. Just like last time. If you’re not welcome, neither am I.”
“This is a little different.”
“How so?”
“It’s your brother’s funeral, Dan, not a social affair. I’ll drive myself.”

~~~~~

After the funeral, uneventful except for Molly asking Jess if she were happy now, the winter passed swiftly. March arrived like a lamb, and with it, nursery preparations began in earnest. Dan and his buddies threw themselves wholeheartedly into the decorating, coming up with extravagant ideas Jess never would have considered.
They wired the entire house with an elaborate monitor system so that, no matter where they were, they would hear the baby. They’d even put speakers on the deck, and in the garage.
The walls now sported Winnie the Pooh murals, hand-painted in brilliant colors by a local artist, and countless toys and stuffed animals, complimenting the theme, were scattered everywhere. Jess feared this child might wind up just the tiniest bit spoiled, if Dan had any say in the matter.
“Jess, we’re signed up to start the childbirth classes this Thursday,” Dan announced, calling her from work on Monday. He sounded so excited, she had to smile. He’d been thrilled to find one starting so soon, and couldn’t wait until he got home from work to let her know there were still a couple of openings. “It’s twice a week for three weeks. That gives us more than enough time to practice before the baby comes. Isn’t that great?”
“It sure is,” Jess agreed, smiling at his enthusiasm. “You’re sure you want to be my coach?
“Absolutely.”
“Think about it” she insisted, still grinning. “I understand it can get a little – um – gross.”
“Nothing I’ve read about the entire process is gross. I guess you’re lucky one of us has a strong stomach, eh?” he said, completely serious. Jess laughed. “What’s so funny?”
“You.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Just because.”
“Well, you’re funny, too, little mom.” Jess rolled her eyes and grimaced.
“Not so little anymore.” She reached down and patted the huge bump that was now her stomach.
“That’s what happens when you’re pregnant. It goes with the territory.”
“Maybe. But I shudder to think what I’ll look like in May. Just paint ‘Goodyear’ on all of my tops.”
“Poor Jess,” he teased. “All of these complaints over one small baby.”
“Small baby? Try gigantic baby.”
“Maybe it’s twins.”
“You hush. Get back to work.”
“Yes, Ma’am. First tell me, ungrateful wench, is there anything I should pick up on my way home?”
“Maybe peppers, if you want them in your salad.” They’d run out, and she knew he favored them.
“Peppers. Nothing else? No brownies?”
“Dan, you know the doctor said I’ve got to watch what I eat. If I gain any more weight, he’s going to put me on a strict diet.”
“Well, I personally think your doctor is nuts. You could gain twenty more pounds, and still look great. I think we should look for a new doctor. One of the ones who think it’s all right to gain thirty-five or forty pounds. It would be better than having a doctor who’s trying to starve my wife.” Jess sighed loudly.
“Just the peppers, please. Bye, Dan.” Jess grinned as she hung the phone up. If Dan didn’t stop tempting her with all her favorite foods, she really would be shopping at the Goodyear Blimp store.
While she rolled out dough for noodles to put in homemade stroganoff, she had to smile again. Dan could quote, almost word for word, from any number of prenatal books. Sometimes she wondered if he knew more about her pregnancy than she did. He was something else.
He still read to the baby daily, a practice that had been interrupted for about a week when Bruce died. Now he’d added poetry. Gentle rhymes. She wondered if he did it, hoping they might help produce a child who possessed a gentle nature, opposite the way his brother had been.
If she needed evidence that Dan would make a wonderful father, this this was one of the many ways he showed it. She had to wonder if Frank would have done as much. As much as he’d loved her, she’d never felt as pampered as Dan made her feel. He’d become such a big part of her life, she didn’t know what she’d do when the time came to dissolve the marriage.


CHAPTER 12

"All right, ladies,” Janine said with a smile, “let’s lean back against our significant others. Get comfortable. Relax.”
Dan was sitting against the wall, his legs spread apart, with Jess positioned between them. As ordered by their tiny, dark-haired instructor, she leaned back against his chest and tried to relax. Instead, she was tense and ill at ease. Being this intimately close to him would take some getting used to.
“Relax,” he whispered in her ear.
“Okay, folks, at this point in her labor, the mother of your child is going to be seriously contracting, and in a good deal of discomfort.”
“C’mon, Janine,” Sara, a petite mother of two, said with a laugh. “You know darned well that labor is a whole lot more than uncomfortable, so why not be honest and just say we’ll be in a lot of pain?”
Very early in to the first class it became clear that Sara was the most experienced mother in the small group of seven couples. Having already given birth to two babies, she didn’t hesitate to let the others know when their instructor tried to whitewash certain aspects of childbirth.
“All right,” Janine sighed, glancing pointedly at Sara. “You’re going to be in a lot of pain, and it’s up to you men to help them out. What I want you to do is stroke her stomach in big, soft circles.”
Jess felt Dan’s gentle touch on her stomach, and his breath in her hair, as his chin rested against the side of her head. She closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the light massage.
“Okay. We’ve got a contraction coming up. Jess, Melanie, open your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing. Deep chest breathing, in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Focus on whatever object you’ve chosen. Coaches, this is important. Don‘t forget it on your way to the hospital. Okay, let’s begin – now.”
“Slow down, Jess. That’s it. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Good girl. You’re doing fine.” Dan’s voice was quiet and reassuring, as the caresses on her stomach continued. Jess focused on the stuffed Pooh bear she’d chosen to concentrate on. From the way their instructor talked, whatever they chose would have the power to take her mind off the pain. Sara said it didn‘t really, but Jess was hopeful. “You’re doing great.”
“Reaching the peak now. Keep breathing. This is the point where some of you may begin to consider the choices available to you for pain,” Janine explained. “. Muscle relaxants, epidurals. You should discuss them with your doctor before labor. Just try not to make that decision during a contraction. Okay. Take a deep, cleansing breath. Not you, guys. I was talking to the ladies.”
“Look at Mark,” Dan murmured, suppressing a chuckle. Jess noted the youngest father-to-be was looking rather pale and strained. “Anyone would think Emily was having the baby now.”
“He does look petrified, doesn’t he?” Jess agreed, grinning.
“Your contractions will be coming closer together now,” Janine was saying. “If you remember your breathing techniques, you should be able to get through your labor without drugs. But don’t be ashamed if you can’t. Every woman is different, and the level of pain you can tolerate is unique to you.”
“Is there anything we can take?” one of the guys joked.
“How about a hike?” Janine suggested, grinning at him. “That’s it for tonight. Remember to practice everything we’ve learned so far. Next week we have the film you’ve all been waiting for.”
“You mean the one about the birth?” Mark asked, paling even more. Everyone chuckled.
“That’s the one. See you next week.”
Jess scooted forward so Dan could stand and pull her to her feet. She found it impossible these days to get up from the floor without some sort of assistance, be it from Dan, or by using a piece of furniture for leverage. And she still had seven weeks of fun left.
“Pizza?” Dan asked, holding her arm with one hand, while carrying two pillows and Pooh in the other.
“And brownies?”
They had gotten into the habit of stopping off for supper after class, and Jess was famished, relieved when they were both buckled in and heading for her favorite place. For some reason Dan started to laugh.
“What?” she asked curiously.
“Mark.”
“Poor kid. You really should be sorry for him.” But Jess laughed, too. On one hand, she did feel bad for the young man. On the other, he was providing a good deal of comic relief for all members of the class.
“I can’t wait until next week. Ten to one he’s going to pass out.” Dan sounded like he almost hoped he would. Not in a mean spirited way, Jess knew, because there wasn’t a mean bone in his body.
“I wouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t look old enough to be married, let alone about to become a father.”
“Emily is going to have to pull him through her labor, not the other way around.”
“I don’t know. He might come through for her. You should talk to him.”
“Not me,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ve got my own wife to worry about.”
His own wife. He always made comments like that lately, and it sounded like the most normal thing in the world. So much so that Jess often forgot that there wasn't much that was normal about their marriage.
Her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, and they both chuckled. There were definitely more important things to think about at the moment, and that was – per usual – food.
Still, she thought, the next morning as she sorted clothes for the wash, she felt married to Dan. More so than she'd ever felt to Frank. A honeymoon wasn't day-to-day living, and she and Frank hadn't had a chance to share that. If truth be told, she actually knew more about Dan than she'd ever known about her first husband.
Dan always bit down on the tip of his pen when he was writing listings for his houses, searching for just the right words to entice a buyer. He liked to relax with a current Dean Koontz book, and always used a book mark, never folding a corner to keep his place. He always kicked off his right boot first when he walked in the back door.
He hated liver, and had a long-standing love affair with the mound of bacon he fried up every Saturday morning. Silly things she noticed about him that she’d never noticed about Frank.
The only common thought she had about the two men was that each of them were handsome, and too sexy for her own good. Except the thoughts were directed less and less at the memory of Frank, and more often at Dan.
As the days and weeks passed, Dan filled nearly all of her waking thoughts. He was even finding his way into her dreams, unnerving dreams of a real marriage, real in every way. 
She threw the whites into the washer, adding soap and bleach, and tried to think of other things. Like what to fix for supper. Although that didn’t stop her thoughts from straying to her the state of her marriage. She wasn’t sure anything could distract her that much.

~~~~~

“How go the classes?” Nate asked, sauntering into Dan’s office and perching on the edge of his desk. He laughed when Dan told him about Mark, and Jess’s request that he offer some assistance. “Well, it couldn’t hurt your cause.”
“What do you mean?” Dan shoved the pile of papers he’d been reading away, and leaned back to look at his father.
“She already looks at you like some knight in armor. You’d probably be an even bigger hero if you helped that other couple.”
“I don’t like to get involved in other people’s lives, Dad.”
 “Oh? That’s why you married Jess?”
“Did Jess call you? You’re ganging up on me, right?” But he knew he’d have a chat with Mark and sighed. “I give up.”
“On Jess?”
“Never.”
“Are you making progress in that direction?”
“Not as much as I’d like.”
“Give it time, son. She’s had a rough year. You can’t expect too much too soon.”

~~~~~

“Since your doctor probably isn’t going to let us sit on the floor at the hospital when the time comes,” Dan decided that weekend, “we’re not going to practice here anymore. Come on.”
He seemed a little nervous as took her hand and led her through the house, up the stairs, and to his room.
“This will be much more comfortable,” he murmured. Jess could only stare at the bed in stunned surprise.
He arranged the pillows on the bed so they would offer some back support, sat down, and motioned for Jess to join him. She hesitated for a second. Yes, it would be more comfortable, but Dan’s bed? Oh man.... She mulled over Emma’s last comments. It was good they were having lunch again on Monday. She needed to talk.
“Jess?” His voice jolted her out of her thoughts, and she saw him holding out his arms. “Practice, remember?”
Self-consciously, Jess positioned herself against him, and tried not to be so acutely aware of their location. She could hardly breathe as his fingers began their caressing movements. What had seemed mostly natural in class seemed pretty darned sensual here.
“You’re not relaxing,” he accused, his voice soft. How could he not be as uncomfortable with this as she was?
“I’m trying.”
“Breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth. That’s it. Much better. No. You’re tensing again.”
“We forgot the bear. Maybe that’s the problem,” she said nervously. What would he think if he knew what his touch was doing to her? Certainly not relaxing her. No, it was waking feelings she thought had died with Frank.
“Look at something on the dresser then.”
“What?”
“I don’t know.” He waved his arm around the room. “A picture. Or a bottle of cologne. Whatever you want to focus on.”
A bottle of cologne. Okay. Jess tried her best, but his touch was sending currents of desire coursing through her. She closed her eyes and gave in to the pleasure, dropping her head back against his shoulder.

~~~~~

“Jess, you’re not trying very hard. Breathe.” At least she was beginning to relax. He looked down at her and grinned broadly. She wasn’t just relaxing, she was enjoying this.
“I think I’m a little tired,” she murmured.
“Did you take your nap today?” he asked softly, desperately wanting to kiss her neck.
“Mmm. No. I forgot.”
“No wonder. You need your rest.”
“I know.”
“Jess-” Dan reached up and turned her face toward his as she opened her eyes. The tension was almost palpable as they looked at one another, and then Dan’s face lowered until his lips covered hers.
His arm tightened around her, and she moaned softly as the kiss deepened, his hand cupping her cheek so she had no choice but to stay there until he decided to let her go. Not that she protested. She was definitely kissing him back, with enthusiasm. And then, as suddenly as he’d started, Dan stopped and leaned his forehead against her hair.
“I think maybe you’d best get to bed,” he said gently, a tremor in his voice.
“That would probably be a good idea,” Jess whispered. He wasn’t sure she understood what he’d said, and she didn’t move so much as one little  muscle.
“Jess, we need to stop this. Now.” Carefully, he pushed her away repeating, “You really should go to your room. You didn’t get a nap today. You need some sleep.”
“Bed?” She did sit up then, eyes wide, and struggled off the bed, her face flaming. “Dan, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Jess,” he called out as she fled from the room. Her door slammed before his feet hit the floor, and he cursed softly.
She didn’t understand. The only reason he’d called a halt was because he didn’t want things to happen so fast she might regret them in the morning. He couldn’t stand that.
Flopping back down on the mattress, the water rocking him gently, he wondered if he should seek some advice on how to court his wife. Maybe Emma. She knew her better than anyone. He’d phone her on Monday.

~~~~~

Jess hadn’t slept well, tossing and turning most of the night, and wondering what Dan must think of her. Here she’d claimed to love Frank, and then she’d thrown herself at him like he’d never even existed. Except he obviously had. The baby she carried was proof enough of that.
Still, what man in his right mind could be interested in the attentions of a fat, bloated, pregnant woman? More to the point, how could she face him this morning?
Hard as she tried, Jess couldn’t think of a single instance in her entire life when she’d been this mortified. Nope. Last night definitely left any other embarrassing moment in the dust.
Weary, she got up and slipped into a pair of maternity jeans and another of her huge sweaters. No sense in putting it off. She couldn’t stay locked in her room all day, or for the rest of her life, which didn’t seem like a bad idea at the moment. No. She had to confront him, and hope he accepted her apology. First, however, she headed off to the bathroom to, among other pressing reasons, brush her teeth and hair.
“Oh.” Not bothering to knock, Jess pushed the hall door open, only to find Dan drying off from a shower – and utterly naked. For the second time in less than twelve hours, she was unable to move.
“Good morning,” Dan said, casually wrapping the towel low on his hips. “Did you sleep well?”
“Uh, yes,” she lied, gazing at the droplets of water glistening on his chest. And what a chest it was. Broad, as she’d known it would be, and lightly covered with dark, curly hair.
“What do you think about running in to Elias Brother’s for breakfast?” he asked. “I think we both deserve a day off from cooking.”
“Whatever you want is fine with me,” she stammered. What would it feel like to run her hands across his skin, to feel those soft hairs beneath her fingers?
“Good. I’ll finish up in the bedroom so you can do whatever you need to in here.” Rather than entering his room through the other door, he walked to where she stood, and kissed her nose. “I won’t be long.”
“All right,” Jess said almost inaudibly. If she reached out just a little....


CHAPTER 13

“And I just stood there like an idiot," Jess groaned, covering her face with her hands. She and Emma had met at Ponderosa again, but even the steak tips she loved didn’t interest her, so she merely pushed the food around her plate, as she filled Emma in on the latest developments with Dan.
"He wasn't embarrassed at all?" Emma asked. Jess looked at her then.
"Em, he acted like this sort of thing happened every day." Lucky her if it had!
"Apparently it bothered you more than it did him.”
“I was mortified. First I make him feel like he has to kiss me, and then I stare at him like a pervert. It was too awful. I can’t imagine what he thinks of me. Probably that I’ve lost my mind. Or maybe, if I’m lucky, he’ll just put it down to crazy pregnancy hormones.”
“I seriously doubt that he thinks you’re crazy. It sounds to me like he wanted to kiss you. And for another, what did he look like?”
“What?”
“In the bathroom. What did he look like?”
“Emma.”
“Well,” Emma defended herself, “he looks really nice in clothes. I just wondered if he looks as good out of them.”
“You have no idea,” Jess whispered, closing her eyes, and seeing him in vivid detail again. She’d relived that scene more times than she’d ever admit to. “His chest is magnificent.”
“That good, huh?” Emma grinned when Jess looked at her again, nodding her head vigorously. “I told you there could be worse things than staying married to him, didn’t I?”
“You did say that.”
“And I was right, wasn’t I?”
“There could be worse things,” she agreed looking down at her stomach with a grimace. “But why would Dan be interested in me?”
“Why wouldn’t he be?”
“I look like a blimp.”
“Maybe from your perspective. To the rest of us, you look like a beautiful pregnant lady. Believe me, Dan is attracted to you.” Jess rolled her eyes. “He is. I’d bet money on it.”

~~~~~

“Hi, Emma, it’s Dan,” Dan said nervously, later that same day. He’d stayed at the office late so he could catch her at home. He wanted to be able to talk to her without the risk of his wife overhearing.
“Dan? What is it? The baby?” Emma asked quickly.
“No. No, as far as I know nothing is going on in that direction right now.” At least he hoped not. It was too early for that.
“What’s wrong? Is it Jess?”
“No. Why would you think that?”
“You’ve never called me before.”
“I guess I haven’t, have I?” he said, wincing. She was right. He never had called her, and he wished he’d remembered that before he scared her. “I’m sorry. And no, there’s nothing wrong.”
“Then what’s up?”
“I-” This was going to be harder than he thought. It was one thing to contemplate asking for advice, and quite another to actually do it. He vaguely recalled her suspicions over his marriage proposal.
“Dan?”
“I can’t think how to say this,” he mumbled, rolling a pencil between his thumb and forefinger.
“Try straight out,” Emma suggested.
“Okay.” Straight out. “I’m in love with Jess.” He had to take the receiver away from his ear when Emma let out an ear-piercing shriek.
“I knew it,” she exclaimed happily. “I told Jess you were.”
“What?” Dan demanded, sitting bolt upright in his chair. The pencil clattered on his desktop, and he picked it up again, clenching it in his fist this time.
“Well, I didn’t say you loved her, but I did tell her I thought you were attracted to her,” Emma amended.
“When?”
“This afternoon.”
“Why?”
“Dan, Jess is my best friend. What she tells me is private. She’d have my head if I say anything.”
“Emma, anything you tell me won’t go any further. I swear it.” She was silent for several long moments debating, he knew, over breaking the confidence of her friend. Then she sighed.
“You might be embarrassed.”
“I’m fighting for my marriage,” he said simply.
“Okay. You know Jess and I have lunch every week?
“Yes.”
“Well, she talks to me about things that are bothering her.”
“I bother her?”
“Not you specifically.”
“What specifically?” he demanded, the pencil he’d retrieved snapping in two. He tossed the pieces in the wastebasket.
“Her feelings for you.”
“What do you mean?” That could be good or bad.
“She used to feel guilty because she was attracted to you. You know, because of Frank.”
“And now?” He held his breath waiting for the answer.
“She rarely mentions Frank.” He let the breath out slowly.
“Okay. What does she say about me?”
“I told you. She’s attracted to you.”
“You said something about my being embarrassed?”
“She told me about your kissing her, and about seeing you in the bathroom.”
“Was she angry about the kiss?”
“Hardly,” Emma said with a chuckle, “but she thinks she forced you into it.”
“I wanted to kiss her.” He still did.
“That’s what I told her. But she can’t imagine why you’d be interested in her.”
“Why not?”
“She thinks she’s fat.”
“She’s pregnant.”
“Hey, I told her we all think she looks beautiful, but she didn’t believe me.”
“I’ll make her believe me,” he promised, then asked, “What did she say about the incident in the bathroom?”
“I’ll only say that she liked what she saw.”
“Then do you think there’s a chance that I can make her love me?” he asked hesitantly.
“It’s only my opinion, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t already.”
Dan hung up the telephone, a satisfied smile on his face. Maybe everything he’d been doing to show his love for her was getting through. Now he’d have to find even more ways to make them closer.
He was contemplating his options when the door to his office was thrown open. He looked up to see Jon, white as a ghost.

~~~~~

Emma said Dan wanted her. Jess doubted it, but couldn’t stop thinking about what her friend had said. She thought about the way Dan was with her, the things he did for her, his infinite patience, and wondered if she might be right.
Whenever he passed her now, he touched her. A light caress on the arm, a squeeze of the hand, a quick hug. Sometimes not so quick. And he was kissing her frequently. Not like the kiss in the bedroom, but quick kisses when he left for work and came home. And, sometimes, for no reason at all.
She tried to remember Frank, and that he’d only been gone eight months, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to remember Frank at all. Her thoughts centered around Dan, and not many were of the wholesome kind she could share with anyone. Not even Emma. No, those were private thoughts she kept entirely to herself.
The telephone rang, bringing an end to her mussings. Probably Dan calling to check on her, as he did several times a day now. She smiled when she heard his voice.
“Jess, it’s me.”
“Well hi, me,” she teased.
“Hey, I just wanted to let you know I’m on my way to the hospital. Ed’s been shot.” Jess’s smile vanished and she gasped.
“Oh no. How bad is it?”
“I don’t know. I guess he put all of us down as next of kin, and someone called Sam. But they didn’t say what his condition was.”
“Which hospital is he in?”
“Sparrow.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she promised.
“Jess, you don’t have to come. I’ll let you know when I find anything out. I just wanted you to know that I’ll probably be home late.”
“I’m on my way, Dan,” she insisted firmly. “I’ll see you in about half an hour.”

~~~~~

They had all come, Jess noted, as she entered the surgical waiting room. Dan, Jon, Sam, Cal and Darby. And all of them looked sick with worry. Dan hurried to her side, wrapping his arms around her tightly, and burying his face in her hair. She hugged him hard, then looked up and asked,
“Is he okay?”
“He’s in surgery,” Dan said, leading her to a sofa and helping her to sit before he joine her.
“All we really know is that he was going off duty and getting into his car when someone shot him,” Sam said quietly.
“Where was he shot?” she asked softly, fearing the answer.
“In the shoulder,” Sam told her, pacing back and forth between the window overlooking the parking lot, and the hall that led to the surgical wing. Jess felt some of the butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach settle down a little. The shoulder wasn’t as bad as in the chest. It wasn’t good, but Ed shouldn’t die like- No. She wasn’t going to think about that night.
“What I’d like to know,” Darby muttered, “is how a police officer can be shot in the police parking lot, and they couldn’t find the shooter.”
“How long do you think they’ll be in there?” Jon asked. As always, he seemed to be holding up better than the others, Jess noted. She also noticed the way he kept turning and turning the Styrofoam coffee cup in his hands.
“As long as it takes to fix him up,” Dan said, sounding more confident than he looked. “It’s what we’re going to do with him once he’s out of here that worries me.” Jess knew he was lying.
“What we’re going to do with him?” Sam wanted to know.
“You know he’s stubborn enough that he won’t stay with any of us so we can take of him.”
And thus began a lengthy discussion on how they could best care for the coach during his recuperation. It was not, however, long enough to carry them through the duration of the surgery, and any relief the planning had allowed soon dissipated.
“I was wondering about something,” Jess finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Do you think it’s possible that Ed might have stumbled into something in the parking lot.”
“What do you mean?” Dan asked, squeezing her hand.
“Do you think he got shot because someone was afraid he’d seen something?”
“In the parking lot?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“Because if that isn’t what happened, why was he shot?”
“You mean the shooter might try again?” Darby guessed, nodding her head in agreement.
“Exactly.” Jess heard a couple of groans. “I mean, it might have been just an ’in the wrong place at the wrong time’ kind of thing. It probably was. But – what if it wasn’t?”
“Then I’d say we’re in trouble,” Jon said. “The coach has been arresting people for what? Twenty years?”
“Enough time to make a lot of enemies,” Dan murmured. “Has he mentioned anything about trouble with anyone prior to this?”
“Not that I’ve heard,” Sam told him, beginning to pace again. “How would anyone even begin to figure out who it was, if that’s the case? It could be anyone from someone he busted on a minor drug violation, to a murderer.” Jess noted that he closed his eyes, wincing, when he realized what he said.
“Maybe we shouldn’t get worked up until we find out what the police come up with,” she suggested quickly. “I probably shouldn’t have even said anything.”
“No,” Darby told her. “It’s something we have to consider. I mean, the circumstances are a little bizarre. Wouldn’t you think it was kind of risky to be shooting a cop in the police parking lot?”
“People get shot everywhere,” Sam muttered. “It doesn’t mean anything. And I refuse to believe that someone is out to get Ed based on what happened today.”
“Maybe we’ll have to keep an eye on things,” Dan decided. “That’ll be easy since he’s going to be having the pleasure of our company a lot over the next few weeks.”

~~~~~

“How are you feeling?” Dan asked softly, a little shaken at how pale Ed looked, lying in the hospital bed.
“Like I could golf eighteen holes easy,” came the weak reply. Dan, Jon, Sam and Cal had been allowed in recovery for a few minutes, and they chuckled at the joke.
“I’ll check with your doctor,” Cal told him with a smile. “We could have you on the course in thirty minutes.”
“Ha-ha,” Ed groaned, struggling to keep his eyes open.
“You in a lot of pain?” Jon asked.
“Na, not too much.”
“You sure? I can get a nurse.”
“I’m fine. Did you get the number of the car that hit me?”
“Car?” Dan asked. Ed tried to grin.
“Sorry. Bad joke. Did they get the shooter?”
“Not yet,” Dan told him. “Any idea who did it?”
“Not a clue. I didn’t see anyone.”
“It was probably just a random act of violence,” Cal said. “And you were the unfortunate victim.”
“I gotta say, after this experience, that I prefer being on the investigative end of a crime. This whole victim thing kind of sucks.”
“Yeah, I’ll just bet it does,” Sam said with a chuckle, as Ed’s eyes drifted shut.

~~~~~

“In through your nose, out through your mouth,” he was telling her now. By unspoken consent, they had decided to confine all practice sessions to the living room. Good thing, too, because Jess feared she might actually stoop low enough to attack him at this point. “Good job, sweetheart.”
That was another thing, she thought in frustration. He’d taken to using terms of endearment on a regular basis. Assaulting her senses both physically, with all of the touching, as well as emotionally, with everything he said. Even the poetry he read to the baby now contained romantic overtones. Did he have any clue what he was doing to her?
“We practice, and we practice,” Jess complained, “and it seems like the baby will never come.”
“Less than a month now, sweetie. Then it’ll be over.”
“I can’t wait. I can’t roll over in bed without waking myself up. I waddle like a duck. I can’t even see my feet when I’m standing up, and I can barely get my shoes tied.”
“I can help with the last problem,” he said, his tone meant to soothe. She’d rather he’d offered to help with the first.
“Great. You’ll tie my shoes like I’m a baby.”
“Never a baby, Jess.”
“Then a big, fat cow.”
“Not that either. You’re very beautiful. In all the time we’ve been together I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look quite so lovely.”
“Yeah, right,” she said sarcastically. “I look so much better with a puffy face.” Dan ceased the circular motion on her stomach, and held her against him.
“You’re having a rough day, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yes.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Make it May.” Dan chuckled, and kissed her hair.

~~~~~

“I would if I could.” He’d move heaven and earth to grant her wish, but that was a little out of his realm. “Let’s run over to The Depot for some ice cream, after we drop supper off at Ed’s.”
Everyone was taking turns keeping the coach fed, and his small apartment clean. Dan had noted some suspicious envelopes on the days he collected the mail, but Ed said they were just junk. Jon had noticed the same thing, but no one else had noticed anything out of the ordinary. Dan was tempted to open one, just to reassure himself that they weren’t something they needed to worry about.
"Sure. Why not? I want ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream. What difference does it make? My body is so stretched out of shape I'll never look good again. I might as well start buying tents, and cutting holes in the tops so I can get them over my head."
“You look good now,” he assured her, using the arm of the sofa to heft himself up from behind her. He held out his hands.
“You’re just begging for a hernia, aren’t you?” He laughed again, pulling her to her feet and into his arms.
“Jess, Jess, Jess. We’re going to have to find some way to cheer you up.”
“I’ll cheer up when I’m not carrying fifty pounds around in front of me.”
“The doctor said you’ve only gained twenty-three pounds,” he said, then realized he‘d made an error in judgment when her eyes narrowed, and her scowl deepened.
“You try carrying this around all day,” she snapped, pointing irritably at her stomach.
“Jess, what’s the matter?” he asked gently.
“Nothing.”
“I know something is wrong. Tell me,” Dan urged. To his horror, she began to cry. “Jess.”
“I can’t sleep. I can’t get comfortable, and when I do manage to doze off, I have these dreams sometimes.”
“What dreams, honey?” He stroked her hair softly.
“That Mr. Bentley is going to get the baby.”
“No one is going to take our baby, Jess. Especially not him. I won’t let that happen.”
“But he said-”
“Jess, we haven’t heard a word from him since he called the apartment. And we haven’t seen him since the trial. He didn’t even say anything to us then. I’d go so far as to bet that he’s forgotten all about it now.”
“I wish I could believe that,” she wept. “I’ve been so scared.”
“Don’t be. I’ll keep you both safe. I promise.” He raised her face, and wiped the tears away with his thumbs before kissing her tenderly. “We’re going to raise the baby, Jess. No one else. Just you and me.”
“You’re sure?” she asked uncertainly.
“I’m sure. And I’m also sure you’ll sleep well tonight. Now let’s get going. The sooner we see to Ed, the sooner we can get you that ice cream, okay?”
“Okay.”

~~~~~

Her stomach full of a hot fudge brownie sundae, and four mozzarella sticks, Jess returned home in a much better frame of mind. Dan was probably thankful for that. He didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of her moodiness, and she wondered why he didn’t just toss her out on her ear sometimes. Still, he must not be completely sick of her, asking that she come to his room after she got ready for bed.
Dressed in a billowing pink flannel nightgown and matching robe, she knocked hesitantly on his door. When he opened it, he only wore a pair of grey silk pajama bottoms, and she swallowed hard. There was that chest again.
“Get into bed,” he said with a nervous smile.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re sleeping in here from now on.” He could have said, only until the baby came, but he hadn’t. She wondered if he realized it.
“Um...” Jess wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Don’t look so frightened. You need your rest, and I’m going to make sure you get it. We’ll be sleeping together, nothing more.”
Rather than feeling assured by his promise, Jess was disappointed as she walked over and crawled under the covers, surprised at how comfortable and warm his waterbed was. She held her breath as he slid in beside her.
“Come here.”
“What?”
“Put your head on my shoulder.”
Jess did as he asked, holding herself stiffly when his arms went around her. She wasn’t comfortable at all, not really sure what she should do with her arm. It felt awkward trying to hold it on her belly. Sighing, Dan took her hand and placed it on his chest, flattening it against all of those curly hairs. Yes. Yes, it definitely felt as nice as she’d imagined it would. No, it felt even better than that.
“Now would you relax, and get some sleep? I won’t bite you.”
“I didn’t think you would.”
Now it was Dan’s turn to have trouble getting to sleep, though he tried to keep his breathing even so Jess wouldn’t be alerted. He didn’t want her to suspect that her nearness was doing everything but relaxing him. He knew she wasn’t sleeping either, though he’d thought she drifted off soon after he began caressing her back.
Did it seem strange, he wondered, being in bed with him? From little things he’d gathered over the months, he knew that Frank had been the only man she’d ever slept with, and then not until their wedding night. Did this bring back those memories? He hoped not. He wanted her thoughts to be of him, and not of the ghost husband she had lost.
“Dan?” He started at the sound of her sleepy voice.
“What, hon?”
“I was thinking.”
“Hmm?
“Wouldn’t it save us a lot of hassle if we just listed you as the father on the baby’s birth certificate?”
“It probably would.”
“Would that be okay with you then?”
“Nothing would make me happier, Jess.”
“Good.” She yawned softly. “‘Night, Dan.”
“Good night, sweetheart.” He was glad it was dark so that she couldn’t see the tear that slid down his temple.

~~~~~

“So, what do you think, Dad?” Dan had spent the last few minutes filling Nate in on the new sleeping arrangements, and Jess’s desire for his name on the birth certificate.
“I think it sounds promising.” Nate was sitting in his customary spot on the edge of the desk, staring out the window at the bright April sunshine.
“So do I. Especially the part about the baby. I mean, Frank might have fathered it, but I’m the father in every way that counts.”
“I hope you didn’t tell Jess that,” his father said dryly.
“No, of course not. I know she cares for me, but I don’t know how she feels about him anymore.” He pulled a file out of a desk drawer in preparation for his next client.
“Dan, you mother wondered if you’d like to come to dinner on Saturday,” Nate said hesitantly.
“No. I made myself pretty clear on that.”
“The invitation includes Jess.” Dan looked at him suspiciously, and Nate shook his head. “I don’t know. But that’s what she said.”
“Tell her thanks, but we’ll pass.”
“She might have learned her lesson.”
“I can’t take that chance, Dad. She and Molly hurt Jess, and I won’t set her up for it again. Especially not this close to her due date.”
“I understand. I’ll let her know.”
“I appreciate that, Dad. Are you coming to the shower this weekend?” Darby had arranged a couple’s shower but, he figured his father wouldn’t feel too out of place since Ed and Jon wouldn’t be bringing dates. Technically Sam wouldn’t either, but Holly would be there so they more or less counted as a couple.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Nate promised him. “I can’t wait until you see what I picked up for my grandbaby.”

~~~~~

Jess was trying to knit a baby blanket. She thought it would help pass the time, but it only increased her feelings of irritability and restlessness. Two weeks until the baby was due, and she knew she wouldn’t be bringing it home wrapped in this. Her fingers were clumsy, and she barely had three rows done. In frustration she threw the mess on the sofa, and started to pace.
What was wrong with her? Did all first-time mothers go through this mood, whatever this mood was? She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that was wrong, but something definitely wasn’t right. At least during the hours Dan worked. When he was home she was fine. It was only the time he was away that was intolerable. Was that it? Was she lonely for him, or so frightened by the imminent arrival of their child that she needed his comforting presence?
Their child? When had she begun to think in those terms? Then she realized that while Frank might have been as good a father as Dan, he certainly couldn't have been a better one. Dan was, and always would be, this child’s father. Frank couldn’t, and never would be. Perhaps it was time to put the past where it belonged. In the past. The future, her future with Dan.... 
A knock sounded at the door, interrupting her thoughts.
“Monica-” To say that she was shocked to see her mother-in-law on the doorstep was to put it mildly.
“I know I should have called first, but I was afraid you wouldn’t let me come. When Nate called me a little while ago to say that Dan had declined- Well, I really need to talk to you, Jess. May I come in?”
“Of course.” Jess held the door open, wondering what she was in for now. When they were inside, she asked, “Can I take your coat?” Monica shrugged out of her white spring jacket, and handed it to Jess, who hung it up and offered her coffee.
“If it’s no trouble.”
“Not at all. Why don’t you have a seat, and I’ll bring it in. I won’t be a moment.”
“You shouldn’t be waiting on me at all in your condition,” Monica protested.
“Believe me, I can use all the exercise I can get. Make yourself at home.”
Jess hurried to the kitchen and willed her hands to stop trembling as she filled a tray with a cup of coffee and glass of milk, adding a plate of oatmeal cookies she’d baked the day before. Taking a deep breath, she prepared to face her guest.
“Good lord, let me take that,” Monica exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa when she spotted her daughter-in-law.
“Is there a problem?” Jess asked after several moment of silence. She’d taken a sip of milk, but her stomach was in knots, and she sat the glass down.
“In a way, yes.” Monica clasped her hands in her lap, staring at them intently.
“Is it Nate? Is he all right?” she asked anxiously.
“Heavens, yes. The problem is me. I’ve treated you badly, Jess, and I’m sorry. I realize now that Bruce brought everything on himself, and I was wrong to hold it against you. Can you ever forgive me?” For a moment Jess could only stare, awed by the unexpected apology.
“Of course, Monica. I know you’ve had a difficult time with everything that’s happened.”
"So did you. There is no excuse for my behavior.” She finally looked at Jess, her eyes filled with tears. “I’d like to start over. To have a chance to get to know you, and maybe be a grandmother to your child, if you’ll let me.”
“Doesn’t every child need a grandma?” she asked, wiping at her own eyes. Monica reached across the coffee table to where Jess sat in a chair, and squeezed her hand.
“And every girl needs a mom. I promise I’ll try and do better from now on.”
And then they were both crying, and hugging, and that’s how Dan found them a short while later.
Seeing his mother’s car out front, he’d rushed in, fearing what he might find, wondering why she’d come. Now he knew. With a smile, he turned and crept to the kitchen, giving them more time alone.
He’d been prepared to write off his relationship with his mother if it were necessary. He was glad it hadn‘t been. She was basically a good person. He loved her, and missed having her in his life. Whatever brought on this about-face didn’t matter. He was grateful that the two most important women in his life now seemed to be friends.
Noting that Jess hadn’t started supper yet, he picked up the phone and dialed the office number, asking to speak with his father.
“You’ve got a lot to learn about taking the afternoon off,” Nate said with a chuckle. “We haven’t had a catastrophe yet.”
“Well, something's happening here.”
“What? Jess? Is the baby coming?” His excitement was almost comical.
“Not yet. Would you believe Mom’s here?”
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
“Is she making trouble?”
“Not exactly.” He described the scene in the other room.
“Well I’ll be. I’ve been trying to talk sense into for months. I guess something must have finally gotten through.”
“Whatever it was you said to her, I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“Glad I could help.”
“I think a celebration is in order here.”
“What did you have in mind?” Nate asked.
“Dinner out. Since everyone is here but you, why don’t you run out, and we’ll find someplace Charlotte?”
“In an hour?”
“Sounds good. I’ll let our wives know.”
“Let your wives know what?” Monica asked, when he’d hung up. Dan turned to see them both, arm-in-arm in the doorway.
“That Dad’s coming over, and we’re going out to celebrate.”
“We’re celebrating your dad coming out?” Jess asked. “He comes out all the time.”
“No, silly.” Dan crossed the room and kissed Jess, then leaned down to kiss Monica on the cheek. “We’re celebrating the fact you two are finally friends.” Jess looked in dismay at the pink sweat suit she wore.
“I think I’d better change first.”
“I don’t know. You look pretty good to me.” He draped an arm across her shoulders. “What say you, Mom?”
“It depends on where we’re going.” Dan rattled off the name of The Gavel. “Is it fancy?”
“Kind of.”
“Run and change, Jess. Not that you don’t look good, but...”
“You don’t need to say it. I’m not going anywhere in this.”
“What brought this about?” Dan asked, hugging his mother when Jess had gone.
“I guess you could say I came to my senses. She really is a sweet girl.”
“That she is. A cranky girl lately, but I love her anyway.”
“With the baby due any day, I’m not surprised she’s cranky. Be patient.” She kissed his chin. “I hope everything works out the way you want.”
“It will.” He grinned down at her. “I won’t have it any other-”
“Dan!”
Jess’s shout sent both Dan and Monica running. They stopped short when they saw Jess standing on the stairs staring helplessly at her pants, now dripping wet. Needlessly she said,
“My water broke.”


CHAPTER 14

Oh no- What to do? They’d practiced for this moment for nearly two months, and everything Dan thought he‘d had down to almost an art simply flew out the window. He could tell his face had gone white as he stood there like an idiot. Monica cuffed his shoulder.
“Call her doctor. And then call your father and have him meet us at the hospital.” She moved toward the steps. “Hurry up before he leaves to come out here.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to help her upstairs so she can clean up and change her clothes. Is the bag up here?”
No. It’s- It’s...” For the life of him he couldn’t remember where he’d put the bag.
“It’s in the coat closet,” Jess said with a smile, as Monica reached her side.
“That’s right. I’ll get the bag.” He turned toward the dining room.
“Dan, make those calls,” his mother reminded him, taking Jess’s arm. “We’ll be back down in a few minutes. It’s a good thing I finally worked up the courage to come out here today.”
“It sure is,” Jess agreed with a chuckle.
Dan tried hard to get a grip on himself, but now that the moment was here, he was terrified. Deep breaths. Take slow, deep breaths. Janine said it worked for pregnant women, so it surely should work for him. Jess was going to think he was a fool.
Keep breathing. That’s it. He was fine now, he thought, waiting impatiently at the foot of the stairs for his wife. He was in control again, until he saw her, and then his hands shook so badly that Monica had to drive them to Lansing. She said she was afraid he’d wreck the car, and Dan figured she probably was right.
Nate had had the foresight to call Ty and Emma, and all three were waiting at the emergency room entrance when the soon-to-be parents arrived. Monica dropped them at the door, urging Jess to hurry. She’d join them once she’d parked the car.
“It’ll be all right,” Dan said, patting Jess’s shoulder all the way up to labor and delivery. “There’s no need to worry. None at all.”
Jess was biting her lip, and he wondered if it was to keep from grinning. It would serve him right, given all the fun he’d poked at their classmate, Mark. 
“If you’ll just wait out here,” the nurse pushing the wheelchair said, coming to a stop outside an open door, “we’ll get Mrs. Mulholland settled, and then you can come in.”
“Will you be long?” Dan asked anxiously, not wanting to let Jess out of his sight.
“No, sir. Just a few minutes. I’ll let you know.”
“Just a few minutes,” Dan repeated, wiping his sweaty palms on his slacks, and turning to the others saying, “So stop worrying, okay. She’s going to be just fine.”
“Who are you trying to convince?” Ty asked, grinning broadly. “Us, or yourself?”
“Maybe a little of both.” He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
Hours later, long after midnight, Dan had a good idea just how hard it really was. On Jess. Exhausted and pale, her contractions were getting worse, with no end in sight. Never leaving her side, he was finding it more and more difficult to watch her suffering like this.
“Here,” he said gently, offering her a spoon with an ice chip. Her lips were drying out, even though she had been given an IV.
“No.”
“Come on, sweetheart, it might make you feel better.”
“What would make me feel better is if you just shut up,” Jess snapped, groaning when another contraction started. Even knowing that laboring women tended to get ornery, it hurt that her irritation was directed at him.
“Come on, Jess, focus. Breathe.” There was nothing else he could do to help her, except talk her through the contraction. “Look at your bear.”
“Oh, God, I want an epidural,” she moaned, clutching her stomach when the pain reached its peak.
“Janine said not to make that decision in the middle of a contraction,” he reminded her, wiping her brow with a damp cloth.
“Dan?”
“What, Jess?”
“Come here, please.” He leaned near, and was shocked when she grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down so he was nose to nose with her.
“Jess?”
“I don’t care what Janine said. I want an epidural.” Each word was emphasized slowly, and through clenched teeth. Dan looked at her, hair damp from perspiration, and her eyes blazing, and realized she meant business. Carefully, he reached up to loosen her hold.
“I’ll just go and get the nurse.”
“Try the call button, coach. You’re not leaving.”

~~~~~

It wasn’t long before the worst of the pain eased, thanks to the epidural she wished she’d asked for long before she caved in. She still felt some discomfort from the pressure, but it was at a tolerable level now, and her mood was much improved.
“Dan, I’m sorry,” she apologized when they were alone again.
“For what?” he asked, stroking her cheek.
“For being so nasty to you.” She cringed when she thought of it.
“Jess, you weren’t nasty.” She laughed at his diplomacy and insisted,
“I was and you know it.”
“Okay. Maybe you were a little irritable,” he conceded, “but who can blame you? You’ve held up better than I have.”
“You’re always so nice about things. I don’t know how you put up with me sometimes.”
“You really don’t know, do you?” She shook her head, and he said quietly, “Because I love you, Jess. I know it wasn’t part of our bargain, and you probably don’t want to hear it, but I love you very much.”
“Dan...” Her eyes filled with tears, and he immediately regretted his honesty.
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. And it doesn’t have to change anything between us. Forget I even opened my mouth, okay?” Oh man, he’d blown it this time. Blown it bad.
“Dan, I love you, too,” Jess whispered. 
“What did you say?” He was almost afraid to have her repeat it in case he'd heard wrong. She smiled a watery smile and said a little louder,
“I love you.”
Dan stared at her for a moment, his heart beating double time, before bending down to kiss her. She loved him. His wife loved him. The timing had been bad. It couldn’t have happened at a worse moment. And it was a miracle.

~~~~~

“It’s a girl,” Dan announced to the small group in the waiting room. He noted that everyone was all here now. Apparently Emma had phoned Darby, and the troops had come out in force.
Nate and Ty had been dozing on the sofa, but jumped up at the sound of the door to stand anxiously beside their wives. Everyone else just crowded around him, slapping his back and offering him their congratulations.
“I’m an aunt,” Emma exclaimed, positively glowing as she beamed at the others, before looking back at Dan. “Are they all right?”
“They’re fine. You can see for yourself, if you want to,” he said, a twinkle in his eyes. He was whipped, but felt like he could take on the world. “Hold it,” he told them, when the group moved as one toward the door. “Only two at a time.”
“Aunt and Grandma first?” Nate offered. Needing no further prodding, the women tore down the hall, Dan following behind.

~~~~~

Jess, reclining in the bed, was cuddling a small bundle when her visitors tiptoed in. She’d known she’d have to let someone besides Dan hold their daughter, and was already wishing she didn’t have to, but Emma walked over, clad in a green surgical gown and gloves, and boldly held out her hands. Jess reluctantly handed the infant over.
“She’s beautiful, Jess.” Emma gazed lovingly at the tiny features and mostly bald head. “What’s her name?”
“Madeleine Kate,” Dan answered, crossing the room to stand beside his wife. He bent down and kissed her hair. “But we’re going to call her Kate.” Emma looked at them for a moment, before returning her attention back to the baby.
“Madeleine? Isn’t that what Frank- Oops.” Her eyes darted toward them briefly, an apology in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Frank said he always wanted a daughter named Madeleine, so we honored that wish,” Jess murmured, looking up at Dan. “Kate is the name we chose.”
“It’s beautiful,” Monica said, peering over Emma’s shoulder, and stroking the fine hairs that almost covered Kate’s scalp. “She’s absolutely perfect.”
“We think so,” Dan said proudly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, and wrapping an arm around Jess. She smiled up at him. “Just like her mother.”
“Hmm.” Emma didn’t take her eyes off the baby, but asked, “Has something changed that we should know about?” Dan grinned from ear-to-ear, and pulled Jess just a little closer.
“Well, the only thing I can think of might be that we won’t be getting that annulment after all.”

~~~~~

“Tomorrow I’m getting a small refrigerator and a microwave to put in here,” Dan said with a yawn, handing Kate to Jess for a diaper change, while he headed for the kitchen to warm a bottle. At two weeks, the baby was still waking twice times a night. Every night, yet neither one had the heart to insist on a four hour feeding schedule. Consequently, they hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in what felt like forever.
Staggering back upstairs, bottle in hand, he saw that Kate was lying quietly on the bed, and that her mother had dozed off. Smiling tenderly at Jess, he lifted the baby and carried her to the rocker, deciding to let his wife sleep. Soon Kate was sucking greedily, her small fists hugging either side of the bottle.
“You know, gorgeous, you’re going to have to start letting Mom and Dad get a little sleep,” he told his daughter softly, gently stroking her arm with his thumb. “Much as I love spending time with you, I’d rather do it when the sun is up.”
A glance at the alarm told him that time was fast approaching. He might as well stay up, and give Jess a little more time to rest.
Smiling as he watched her sleeping, it was still hard to believe she loved him, and he thanked God she did.
He sat the bottle on the floor to put Kate against his shoulder, patting her back before she had much of a chance to fuss.
A wife. A child. Six months ago he hadn’t cared whether or not he ever had a family. Today, he didn’t know what he’d do without them. Each night when he held Jess in his arms, just before he fell asleep, his last thought was that tomorrow would be another good day.
Mostly good, anyway. The only dark cloud on the horizon was in the form of Phillip Bentley. He’d seen the announcement of Kate’s birth, and had been calling the office demanding a DNA test be done. Thus far, Dan had managed to put him off, but Phillip was starting to get nasty. At least Jess didn’t know about it, and he planned on keeping it that way.
“Finished, Kate?” She was only playing with the nipple now, her eyelids drooping. “Let’s get you downstairs so we don’t disturb your mom.”

~~~~~

“Hi, sweetheart,” Dan said after her call was put through to him immediately.
“Hi, yourself,” Jess answered, her tone clipped.
“Is everything okay?”
“No.” She heard him catch his breath.
“Is Kate all right?”
“Kate’s fine.”
“Are you all right?”
“No.”
“Jess, what’s the matter?” he asked anxiously.
“I’m mad,” she said simply.
“What?”
“I said I’m mad,” she repeated, glad he couldn’t see her smiling.
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t crawl out of bed until ten minutes ago.” It was almost nine-thirty.
“Good.” Dan sounded smug, and she knew he was grinning. “I wanted you to rest.”
“And I wanted to kiss you good-bye.”
“I kissed you.” On the cheek.
“That doesn’t count.” She heard him laugh.
“I thought it did.”
“I wasn’t awake, so it didn’t. I like getting up with you, Dan,” she said softly. “When you let me sleep, it makes the day long.”
“Miss me?”
“You know I do.” More than she could say. “Please don’t do that anymore.”
“You were tired,” he explained. “You were sleeping before I even got back with the bottle.”
“All new moms are tired. So are new dads. Next time just come back to bed.”
“We’ll see.”
“Dan.”
 “Jess. if you miss me that much, I’ll come home for lunch.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
“Hey. Wait a minute. Is that the only reason you called?”
“I wanted to hear your voice, too.”
“Sometimes I wonder about you,” he teased.
“But you love me anyway.”
“That I do, sweetheart, that I do.”

~~~~~

“Oh, I can’t wait for my six-weeks checkup,” Jess sighed, snuggling next to Dan on the sofa. Only five more days.
“Why? You got something going with the doctor I should know about?” he asked, nuzzling her neck. For once Kate was sleeping, and not interrupting her parent’s playtime.
“Well, I guess if you don’t know, I’ll put it off for another month or so.” He growled in her ear.
“Just try it, lady, and we’ll wind up with a brother or sister for Kate in about nine and a half months. Not that I’d mind, but I know how much you enjoyed being pregnant with our daughter.”
“I’m going, I’m going.”
“Good. Because I’m not waiting a day longer than I have to. I don’t imagine there are many people who have to wait seven months before they celebrate their wedding night.” He held her close, anticipating the moment he longed for. He’d even arranged to have his folk’s watch the baby for the day.
“If you’d told me how you felt a long time ago, we wouldn’t have had to wait so long,” she told him, resting her head against his shoulder. But innocent as this past month had been, it had been wonderful.
“I wanted to, Jess. You’ll never know how much. But I didn’t know how you’d take it.”
“You must have suspected that I at least cared about you.”
“Yeah, I guess I did,” he admitted. “But I didn’t know how you felt about Frank. I suppose I still don’t.” There. He’d finally broached the subject he’d been avoiding since confessing his love. He felt Jess take a deep breath, and he held his own while he waited for him to tell him.
“A part of me will always love him, Dan,” she said gently.
“That’s not what I wanted to hear.” He pulled her closer, worried he might always, on some level, have to compete with a memory.
“You didn’t let me finish. I love you, Dan. Even more than I loved Frank. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but I do.” She reached between two of the buttons on his shirt and stroked his chest. “I never got the chance to know him like I know you. There wasn’t time. And, although I’ll always regret what happened, I’ll never be sorry I married you.”
“That’s good,” he said, his throat tight with an emotion he couldn’t define. “Because you’re stuck with me, Mrs. Mulholland.”
“I think I can live with that.” He kissed her hard, and then laughed.
“And to think, you almost threw it away.”
“I did, didn’t I?” She looked at him and asked, “What did you think of me when I stood there yelling at you like a nut, and then slammed the door in your face?”
“It’s hard to explain, Jess.” He really didn't want to delve into this subject. Ever. It was in the past, and it needed to stay there.
“Try.” She waited a long time for the answer.
“You have to understand how I felt at the time,” he said slowly. “Everything had been such a shock, finding out that Bruce had turned himself in. Knowing what he’d done to you. And realizing that I’d played a small part in Frank’s murder.”
“What?” Jess pulled away, and stared at him in surprise.
“No, not like you’re thinking. I just remembered that Bruce had come to me that day, asking for money. I knew he wanted it to buy drugs, and I had refused to give it to him.”
“So?”
“So, it was just a few hours before the murder. If I’d given Bruce the cash, Frank would be alive today. That’s what I was thinking when I came to see you.”
“So you blamed yourself,” Jess said slowly, her eyes troubled.
“You’ll never know how much. I felt at least as responsible as Bruce, and I needed to make it up to you. You’d lost Frank. You were pregnant.” He glanced at her pale face. “I couldn’t believe it when you wouldn’t let me help you.”
“Um...what did you think when Mr. Bentley called?”
“That I’d been given the perfect opportunity to rectify what Bruce and I had done.” He looked surprised when she stood up and walked across the room, wringing her hands.
“So you married me because you felt guilty?”
“Partly,” he admitted reluctantly. “Jess, what’s wrong?” He felt a knot of fear in his gut.
“You thought you could take Frank’s place, didn’t you? Pick up where he left off?”
“No. Not exactly.” He knew he should have avoided this subject like the plague.
“What exactly then?”
“I don’t know, Jess.” He got to his feet, too, feeling like he was about to lose her. “I only knew you needed someone to take care of you and the baby.”
“Because you felt guilty?”
“Yes, at first. Until I fell in love with you.” He took a step toward her, stopping when she backed away. “Jess, don’t do this.”

~~~~~

“Just stay back, Dan,” she whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“No. I don’t know what to say."
“You never fell in love with me, did you?”
“I did. I do love you,” he insisted, trying to get closer. “Jess, you’re my life.”
“Because it eases the guilt you feel?”
“No. Not anymore.”
“It does. You’re giving up your life for Kate and me because you blame yourself for what happened to Frank.” She was crying openly now, her heart breaking because she’d found out the truth.
“No. Jess, would you listen?” He held out his hand in a pleading gesture.
“Not anymore. You don’t have to do this, Dan. I don’t blame you for not giving Bruce the money. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t need your pity.”
“I don’t pity you. I love you.” The tears on his face mirrored her own, and she didn’t know what to think.
“I need some time. I’m- I’m going to take Kate to Emma’s tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving me?” he gasped, paling.
“I don’t know,” she said, running a hand through her hair. The thought of leaving him made her ill. “I have to think.”
“Can’t you do that here?”
“I-” She picked the baby up out of the bassinet and held her close. “I’m going up to my room. Please stay away.”
“Don’t do this, Jess. I don’t know what I can do to convince you, but I love you.” He sounded so anguished that Jess almost believed him, but still she edged her way toward the stairs, half afraid he might try to grab them. “Jess...”
“We’ll talk in the morning,” she murmured, hurrying to the room she hadn’t slept in for nearly two months.
She sat cross-legged on the bed for hours, crying and trying to figure out what to do. Did he want her only to ease his guilt, or did he really love her like he’d tried so hard to make her believe?
All she knew for certain was she loved him. Deeply. And she didn’t know what she would do without him.
If it was pity, and she stayed, could she live with it? Knowing every day for the rest of her life that he was only trying to take Frank’s place? Could she face the alternative?
No, her heart seemed to scream. How could she bear to lose him, too? Two husbands in less than a year? It wasn’t fair. It was more than any person should have to suffer in a lifetime.
“What do I do, Kate?” she sobbed, missing Dan already, and trying to imagine what it would be like to never be held by him again. It was a terrible, aching feeling.
Kate only cried, demanding her bottle loud enough to be heard for miles. Wearily, warily, Jess crept out to the hall and into the nursery to change her diaper, while the hungry infant screamed so hard her face turned red.
She’d slept longer than usual and was, apparently, starving. Jess dreaded going to the room she and Dan had been sharing, for fear he might be there. A distinct possibility, as it was after one. The last thing her frayed nerves needed right now was a confrontation with him. But it looked like one was inevitable. He met her in the hall, holding a bottle of formula.
“I heard her crying,” he said quietly, handing it to Jess, who took it, doing her best not to touch the fingers wrapped around it. She saw pain reflected in his eyes.
“Thanks. I, uh, better get back to my room.”
“Jess-”
“I said we’d talk in the morning.” She rushed past him, and slammed the door, leaning against it as tears filled her eyes again.
He looked awful. Much like he’d done when Bruce died. She knew he’d been crying, too, and his color was terrible. But was it because he loved her, or because he thought he was failing in the sacrifice he’d been so willing to make?
With Kate sleeping once more, Jess laid down, wishing she could turn her thoughts off. Instead, she went back over every minute of the time since she’d met Dan.
If Mr. Bentley hadn’t phoned when he had, would Dan have tried to get her to marry him? And what was the deal on the two years till the divorce? Had he intended to make it permanent from the start? She just didn’t know.
Was it possible the man was such a good actor he’d completely fooled her? Could he fake all of the tenderness and concern? Wouldn’t she know?
Until this evening, she’d honestly believed he loved her. What if he did? What must he be going through? Wondering if-
A thunderous sound came from downstairs, stopping her thoughts abruptly.
A gunshot? She looked at the baby, still sleeping peacefully on the bed, and rolled off the mattress, running as fast as she could, concern for Dan putting the other thoughts out of her mind in an instant.
Breathless by the time she reached the living room, she was distraught when he wasn’t there, so she headed for the kitchen.
She found him in the dining room, looking helplessly at the hole that used to be the sliding glass door. One of the heavy wooden chairs was lying on the deck amid shattered glass.
“Dan?” He whipped his head around when he heard her, grabbing the table for support when he lost his balance. “Are you all right?”
“Whadda you care?” he asked, his words slurred.
“Are you drunk?” she asked, shocked to her core. She’d seen him have an occasional drink in the past months, but never to excess. Never. He stood up as straight as he could, and looked down his nose at her.
“I’ve...come to a de-decision,” he said forcefully, ignoring her question. “You’re not goin’ nowhere, lady. I love you, and you’re stayin’. D’ you got that?”
“Dan-”
“Oh no. Don’t Dan me.” He lifted his hand from the table to point a finger at her, only to grab at it again when he nearly fell over. “Whoops.”
“Maybe you should sit down.”
“Not until I’m fimished. Fishmished.” He looked puzzled for a moment, before blurting out, “Finished.” Then he glared at her as he continued, “I don’t know who I think you are, lady, but nobody tells me who I love, and who I don‘t love. And I think I would know if I loved you or not,” he said indignantly, crossing his arms across his chest. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I suppose you would,” she said, trying to suppress a smile.
“There’s no pasose about it. I love you, and if you think you’re leavin’, think again.” He reached out and grabbed a handful of black wires from the counter, shaking them wildly at her.
“What are those?” Jess asked, losing the battle and grinning.
“I dunno. Stuff from the cars. Try and start one without these, and see how far you get.” He seemed fairly proud of this accomplishment.
“You took those out of the cars?”
“Yup.”
“Well, do you know how to put them back?”
“Yeah, right. Do I look like a mec- A meca-” The confused expression had returned. “A guy who knows how to fix cars to you?” He flopped down into one of the chairs, and admired the mess he held, muttering, “Yeah. You jus try and leave me now. Ha! I fixed ‘em good. How far does she think she’s gonna get totin’ a baby, and a crib, and the clothes? Not far, I’m tellin’ you.”
“Dan-” It was all Jess could do to not laugh out loud. If she had any doubts before, they were gone now.
“Gonna nail the doors and windows shut, too. Wadda you think ‘bout that?” Jess looked pointedly at the new hole in the wall, but only said,
“It sounds like you want me to stay.”
“You got that right, lady.” He threw the wires against the wall, and they hit with a thud.
“Hey, you’re going to wake Kate.” Dan looked at the wall, a finger to his lips and said,
“Shh.” Then he crossed his arms to glare at her some more.
“Dan, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before,” she said, going to kneel beside him. The smell of liquor nearly knocked her out. “I know you love me.”
“Darn straight I do.” His chin dropped to his chest.
“Can you forgive me for not believing you?”
But Dan only slid out of the chair, like warm butter off a hot knife, landing in a heap on the floor. Assuring herself that he was still breathing, Jess sat beside him and stroked his hair.
“Poor baby. You’re going to have a bear of headache later today.”


EPILOGUE

Dan parked the car in a shaded area, and gently lifted a sleeping Kate from her car seat. Then, working the strap of the diaper bag over his shoulder, he walked toward the zoo entrance. Bentley had better be on time, because he had to pick Jess up from the doctor’s in forty-five minutes.
She’d have his head if she knew he’d agreed to this meeting, but it was the only way he could think of to stop the threats. There was no way he was going to allow DNA testing on Kate, and he hoped to convince Bentley to leave them alone. He kissed his daughter’s soft little cheek.
“Not a chance, gorgeous. I promise.”
She slept soundly until he got to the pony ride area, the appointed meeting place. When he sat down and laid her across his legs, she woke up and watched him. Paying no mind to passersby, Dan talked softly to her, and made faces, reveling in the expressions on her miniature face.
“Mulholland?” a gruff voice said. Dan looked up to see a tall, distinguished man with silver hair. He recognized him from the courtroom.
“Bentley.” He refused to stand or shake his hand, not that one had been offered.
“So this is the brat you’re trying to pass off as my grandchild?” Dan’s jaws clenched.
“You’re the one who wants to know.”
“When is the testing scheduled?”
“It’s isn’t. You can either believe the truth or not. It’s up to you.”
“And I suppose you’re going to tell me the truth is that Frank fathered it?”
“Frank did father her, yes,” he said tightly. “But I am Kate’s father. Make no mistake about that.”
“I want proof,” the old man sputtered.
“Tough.”
“You think you’re smart, don’t you?”
“Smart enough to know you’ll never get your hands on my daughter.”
“So you say.”
“I do, don’t I?” He stood then, putting Kate back on his shoulder. “I know how you feel about my wife and me. You hate us both. This little one might have your son’s blood in her veins, but she’s our daughter in every way. She’s going to be raised a Mulholland. A member of my brother’s family. You can’t live with that.”
“Maybe.” Phillip was furious, but asked, “Can I hold her?”
“I suppose you could.” After a slight hesitation, Dan handed Kate to him, on guard in case he made a run for it. But Phillip only looked uncomfortable when Kate began to wail. “See? She’s already mine.” He held his arms out quickly, because the other man couldn’t seem to get rid of her fast enough.
“It’s not enough that you and that little witch took my son. Now you’ve got to take the baby.”
“You’re just lucky I’ve got the baby.” Dan said harshly, wanting very much to plant his fist in the older man’s face. Phillip turned and started to walk away. “What about the DNA testing?”
“You were right. I can’t live with it.”
Dan could have danced for joy. Bentley was out of their lives for good
The traffic heavy, it took awhile to get back to the doctor’s office, but that was okay with him. If he didn’t get over his elation before she saw him, she’d pester him about it. And the last thing he wanted was to risk an argument. Not after the other night.
He was still counting his blessings over that. It would have been impossible for him to say what had happened after he’d gotten snockered, but whatever it was, Jess was still with him.
She refused to say a word about it. He only knew he’d woken up with the worst hangover any human had ever endured, a broken patio door, and two disabled vehicles. And, of course, to Jess, who apologized profusely for doubting his love.
He pulled into a parking spot to wait. Kate was sleeping again, and probably would be, even when they dropped her off at his folk’s. Jess had been torn between wanting to be alone with him, and leaving her for the first time, so she wouldn’t be happy about it. But it would only be for a few hours.
And then there she was, walking toward the car, and smiling at him. Instead of getting in her door she came up to his window and leaned inside, kissing him deeply. Passionately.
“The doctor said I’m healthy as a horse,” she told him.
“Oh he did, did he?” Dan said, grinning at her.
“Yes. I can resume my regular activities effective immediately.” Her eyes glittered in the sunlight.
“What about some new ones?”
“Just as soon as we get rid of Kate.” She kissed him once more, and Dan couldn’t resist. He got out, wrapped her in his arms, and kissed her slowly. Then he grabbed her hand, ran around to the passenger side of the car as quickly as possible, and said,
“Buckle up, sweetheart, because we have some activities to tend to.”

###

Keep reading for a special excerpt from the next book in the Coach’s Boys Series, A Hero For Holly.



About the author…



Kristy K. James’s first goal in life was to work in law enforcement, until the night she called the police to check out a scary noise in her yard. Realizing that she might someday have to check out scary noises in other dark yards if she continued on that path, she turned to her other favorite love… writing. Since then, her days have been filled with being a mom and reluctant zookeeper, creating stories and looking for trouble in her kitchen.

Visit Kristy’s website at:  http://kristykjames.com, her blog: http://kristykjames.wordpress.com, or drop her an email at: mailto:kristykjames@gmail.com.

Other works by this author include: Enza, a fact-based fiction novel dealing with the influenza pandemic of 1918, and romance novels: A Hero For Holly, Reluctant Guardian, Erin’s Christmas Wish, and A Fine Mess.

Kristy loves to hear from her readers. Please drop her an email at kristykjames@gmail.com



A HERO FOR HOLLY

CHAPTER 1

“I need to run into the office for a minute and scream,” Holly McGinty muttered, as she strode past the harried man in the narrow hallway. Lyle Chambers just grinned, and headed back to the kitchen. But even as Holly made tracks for her office, she and Lyle both knew she wouldn’t scream. There were simply too many customers in the dining room for her to give in to her frustration, at least in such an audible way.
Once the door was safely closed, however, she did take a moment to run slender fingers through her auburn curls, hard enough that she actually pulled a few strands loose. Not that it mattered. Thanks to an early morning monsoon, followed by an unprecedented and endless stream of customers, there was no denying that it was just going to be a bad hair day all the way around. And it was only eleven-forty-five…in the morning. Some people weren’t even out of bed yet. Holly sure wished she numbered among the ranks of that privileged group.
With a sigh, she collapsed in the chair behind her desk and started making a list. Ground beef, buns, French fries... One after another, more items were added, and she knew this shopping trip wouldn’t be a quick one. Thank God Meijer was open on holidays. At least every holiday except Christmas, and today was definitely not Christmas.
In the almost five years that she’d owned McGinty’s Family Restaurant, Holly couldn’t remember ever running out of everything on hand. Or nearly running out, as they were today. She couldn’t remember ever being quite this busy, with no letup – for more than four straight hours either.
List done, she let out a gusty sigh, grabbed the company credit card, her purse, car keys and the mile-long list, and dashed out to her Jeep Grand Cherokee, more grateful today than she’d ever been to own it. A mere car would be unable to handle the load of food that would soon be crammed into every available space.
“Doesn’t anyone stay home on the Fourth,” she muttered under her breath, as she watched an endless stream of cars flying by the driveway. She knew it would be futile to hope she could make a left onto Saginaw Street, but hope she did. Meijer was just a couple of miles down the road but, at this rate, it might as well be fifty.
Of all days for this to happen. 
She’d promised to accompany nine Boy Scouts on a trip to Battle Creek, to watch what was promised to be an awesome fireworks display, after spending the entire afternoon at the fair. Among the kids were her nine year old son Zack and his baby brother, four and a half year old Billy. And Sam Jensen, their scout leader.
Their extremely handsome scout leader.
She felt her face flushing just thinking about the man. Unfortunately it wasn’t an unusual occurrence, as Sam occupied her thoughts more often than not. Like a gorgeous, wealthy man would be interested in a divorced mother of two. One who spent more waking hours at her restaurant than she did at home.
Whipping into a parking spot about ten miles from the entrance of the store, Holly locked the jeep and sprinted inside, sweat trickling between her shoulder blades in the humid July heat. It was just as well she’d have a couple of shopping carts on the way out, because no matter how late she was running, she wouldn’t be doing that again.
Her hopes of setting a speed record while in the pleasantly air conditioned store, however, were dashed. She was convinced that fifty percent of the population was outside clogging up the roadways, but the rest, it seemed, were right here…blocking almost every aisle she needed to be in.

~~~~~

“Holly, just go,” Lyle said firmly, about ninety minutes later. He and a bus boy had unloaded the jeep in record time, and were now stuffing two huge coolers in the back. “We’ve got everything covered. You need to get moving. You’re almost an hour late already.”
“Everything I need is in those?” she asked, nodding toward the coolers. Lyle managed to look amused and offended at the same time. Holly smiled apologetically.
Hiring Lyle Chambers three years ago had been the smartest thing she’d ever done. He’d taken to the job of manager like a duck to water. In fact, she wasn’t sure how she ever got along without him.
“You’ve got enough drinks, side dishes and meat to feed a small army. Sound about right?”
“It does. I’m sorry for doubting you,” she sighed. “This has just been such a hectic day, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”
“And it’s going to get nothing but worse if you don’t get a move on. Billy’s going to be beside himself if you don’t get yourself home.”
“Yeah. Tell me about it. And poor Sam is stuck in my yard with nine bored boys. Thanks again, Lyle,” she said, sliding in behind the steering wheel. “And don’t forget. I want everyone out of here by four. No later.”
“Four on the dot,” he promised.
Most holidays Holly closed the restaurant. Of those when she remained open, it was never for the full day, unless the holiday was something like Valentine’s or President’s Day. In her opinion, that kind didn’t really count. But picnics and fireworks mattered. Most of her staff had families, and as long as she had any say in the matter, they would enjoy spending most of the day with them.
“See you tomorrow,” she promised, glancing at him one more time before easing out of the parking spot.
“Drive carefully,” he called out after her.
It seemed to take forever to get out of the city, but once she got on the freeway, and was cruising along at seventy, Holly relaxed a little. But only a little. She hated not being able to keep her word, and she’d promised to meet Sam and the boys at noon. It was going to be after one-thirty before she even pulled into her driveway.

~~~~~

“Sam, when can we leave?” Tommy Sinclair whined for the fiftieth time. Sam’s patience was running out. Of all the boys in his troupe, Tommy was the one he had the most trouble liking, an admission that caused him no end of shame. While the rest of the boys were taking the delay in stride, playing an impromptu game of flag football in Holly’s yard, Tommy refused to join in.
“Just as soon as Mrs. McGinty gets home,” he said kindly, because no matter how annoying Tommy could be, there was no way he could be impatient with a child. “I just called her manager at the restaurant, and he said she left about fifteen minutes ago. It won’t be long. Now go play with the other boys. The time will pass a lot quicker if you’re busy.”
He’d hated to phone her at work, but had begun to worry when she was more than an hour late. He knew holiday traffic could be brutal, and hated to think of her out in it alone. Anything could happen, a thought that made him cringe.
It seemed like he’d been smitten with Holly McGinty forever, but it was actually just over a year since they’d first met. It had been the evening she’d come in to sign eight year old Zack up for Scouts. He remembered it as clearly as if it had been yesterday because, until then, he’d never believed in claims of love at first sight.
Well, he was a believer now. Not that it had done him a whole lot of good. Though he used every excuse he could come up with to spend time with her and the boys, nothing had changed romantically. At most he could say they were friends. Sort of. Maybe something like a cross between a friend and an acquaintance. There was probably a word for it, but he’d be hard pressed to figure out what it might be.
Whatever it was it certainly wasn’t girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. And those were the only important words when it came to Holly.
“Sam?” He felt a tug on his pant leg, and looked down to see Billy standing there. He squatted down and put a hand on his shoulder.
“What’s up, buddy?”
“Where’s my mom?”
“On her way. She should be home any time.”
“You sure? I don’t wanna miss the fireworks.” Sam chuckled. So much for thinking he might be worried about his mother.
“We won’t miss the fireworks. I promise. We’ll have time for our picnic, and for visiting the fair long before they start.”
“An’ I can ride the ferri sweel?”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay.” With that he ran back and joined the older boys.
Sam stood back up, grinning. Sometimes he was overwhelmed with his feelings for the McGinty’s. And someday, soon he hoped, they would be his family.
“Mom’s here!” Zack shouted, darting toward the driveway, and away from the game that had held his interest for the past forty-five minutes.
“Zack, stop!” Sam shouted, sprinting after the boy, catching up to him before he reached the blacktop. Heart in his throat he said, “Son, you never run toward driveways or streets if a vehicle is moving.”
“I was gonna stop in the grass,” he muttered, paying him little mind. His attention was on his mother, who was climbing out of her jeep. “We were getting worried, Mom. Why are you so late?”
“It’s a long story, sweetie.” She hugged him to her, and Sam could see that she looked distressed.
“Zack, why don’t you round up the boys? You should all use the bathroom before we leave.” After he’d gone, Sam looked at Holly and asked, “Are you all right?”
“It’s just been a long day,” she said, trying to smile, and failing miserably.
“If you’re not up to the trip, I can probably handle it on my own.” Not a pleasant thought, especially since he’d been looking forward to spending the day with her. But he’d never do anything that might make her life harder.
“No. No, I want to go,” she said with a sigh. “I guess I’m feeling bad about messing up the plans. It’s just that Murphy got control of everything first thing this morning, and it’s taken me until now to get it back.”
“Murphy?” Sam asked, brows raised.
“From Murphy’s Law fame.” Oh. Now he got it, and he laughed.
“So everything that could go wrong did?”
“Pretty much. I was beginning to think I’d never get home.” She gave him a condensed version of her day, and he was shocked to see tears in her eyes when she finished. “I really hate disappointing the boys.”
“Hey, don’t sweat it,” he said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Nobody is disappointed. Trust me. As a matter of fact, getting a late start is probably going to be a blessing in disguise.”
“Oh right.” Holly sniffed, making a visible effort to get hold of herself. Sam kind of hoped that it would take her a few more minutes, because he was enjoying having her so close.
“Really. We’ll have our picnic, ride a few rides, and sometime between then and when the fireworks start, they’re all going to be bored out of their minds. You saved us an hour and a half of misery.” That drew a small laugh from her.
“You just got to experience it here instead.”
“Not really. They’ve been having a ball playing football. Flag football,” he hastened to add, knowing what a protective mother she was.
“Are you going to marry my mom now?” Billy asked, walking up to them with a puzzled expression on his face. While trying to decide the best way to respond to the question, he heard Holly make a choking sound.
“Billy,” she gasped. “Why would you ask something like that?”
“Well, Sam is hugging you.”
“What?”
“You hug me, and you love me. So Sam must love you ’cause he’s hugging you.” Sam concealed a grin behind his hand. How right he was. “Me ’n Zack don’t mind. We want Sam to be our daddy.”
“Yes,” Sam wanted to shout, but restrained himself as he thumped Holly on the back, when this newest fit of choking turned out to be a bit worse than the first.
“Lean over,” he told her. After a moment, she finally caught her breath and looked up at her son, obviously mortified.
“Billy- Honey, I- Uh-” Much as it pained him, Sam figured he’d better intervene here and, once again, squatted down to talk to the boy.
“Billy, friends hug, too. That doesn’t mean your mom loves me though.” But he hoped very hard that she would. Eventually. Glancing up, he asked, “Do you need to get anything from the house before we go, Holly?
“I don’t think so. But I would like to change first,” she said, her cheeks a pretty shade of pink. “Can you get the coolers out of the jeep? On second thought, let me help you with those before I change. They’re pretty heavy.”
“No, you go on inside. If I can’t get them myself, we’ll move them when you’re finished.”
“I’ll hurry,” she promised, hustling into her house and away from the embarrassing situation. Sam took a moment to give Billy a big hug.
“I’m really flattered that you’d like me to be your dad, Billy. Know what?” Billy shook his head. “If I could pick any boys in the world to be my sons, I’d pick you and your brother.”
“You would?”
“I would.”

~~~~~

Holly could not believe those words had come pouring from the mouth of her son. Her baby. She’d known that both of her boys hero-worshipped Sam, and she understood why they did. The man was a saint when it came to dealing with children. He was patient. He was kind. And he was generous with both his time and resources. But she hadn’t realized that they’d been looking at their scout leader as anything more than a friend.
Surprise.
She slipped out of the black slacks and white blouse she’d worn to work that morning, and into a pair of blue jean shorts, a pink scoop necked tee shirt, pink socks and her white tennis shoes. As she relived the horror of hearing that he and Zack would like Sam for a father, she ran a quick brush through her hair and tied it back with a white scarf, finally ready to get this show on the road.
Maybe not ready to face Sam again so soon though. He’d handled the situation with admirable tact. More so than she had, that was for sure. Unfortunately, she had to admit to having thoughts similar to her sons.
Of course the man wouldn’t be interested in her, she reminded herself again. What man in his right mind would?

~~~~~

Perfect. Utterly perfect was the only way Sam could describe the day. Sure it had been tiring, chasing after a bunch of young boys, but even that had left him with a feeling of satisfaction. He couldn’t have been more pleased to have played a part in making them happy.
Well, except maybe for the Zipper. That was the only part that hadn’t pleased him. Not even a little bit. And it wasn’t that he was a coward or anything, he just didn’t like the sensation of spinning out of control. But he supposed even that had had been worth it since the kids had gotten such a kick out his obvious discomfort. Even Holly had been amused when he‘d climbed off the ride, a little green around the gills.
“I think he’s asleep,” he heard her whisper from where she sat on the blanket next to the one he was on. He glanced at her, saw the direction she was looking in and grinned. Billy had lain down at an angle with his head on Sam’s stomach as he played with a little toy he’d won at the fair. Now he was snoring softly.
“I think you’re right,” Sam agreed, lifting one hand to stroke the baby fine hair.
“Do you want me to take him?”
“Na. He’s fine right here. And he won’t be sleeping for long. Not once the fireworks start anyway.”
“That’s true,” Holly chuckled. “Even if he could sleep through them, he’d never forgive us if we didn’t wake him.”
“Then we’d best see that we do.” He smiled at her, then turned to check on the other boys, who sat a short distance away telling ghost stories.
Us and we, nice words when they were in reference to the two of them.
“Think they’ll be able to sleep tonight?” he asked.
“I’m amazed that they sleep at all considering some of the stuff they see and hear these days,” Holly sighed. “Have you been listening to them at all?”
“Not really,” he admitted sheepishly. “I’ve just been sitting here counting my blessings that Tommy hasn’t run over to complain about something else.” Holly laughed at that.
“Gosh I know what you mean. I’ve never heard such negativity from a child in my life.”
“You’re telling me. Can you imagine what it would be like if he were around every day?”
“Now I’m going to have nightmares, Sam.” They both laughed at that. “He’s the kind of child who makes your own children look like angels.”
“Compared to him, Zack and Billy are angels.” He was only half kidding, but said seriously, “They’re terrific kids, Holly. The highlight of this whole scouting experience is working with those two.”
“Thank you for saying that. I know that spending Thursday evenings with you is the best part of their week.” She hesitated for a moment, then lowered her lashes and said shyly, “I don’t know if I’ve ever really thanked you for letting Billy come along with Zack. I know he’s too young, but it means an awful lot to him.”
“Hey, don’t thank me, Holly. I meant it when I said they’re the best part of my week. Especially Billy.”
“Well, I just want you to know how much I appreciate the time you take with them. I don’t know if Zack has mentioned it to you, but he hasn’t seen his father in over five years. And Billy has never met him. Mike left a few months before he was born.”
“I knew he hadn’t been around in a while,” Sam admitted, anger settling like a fist in his stomach. Holly’s husband had left her with a three or four year old – while she was pregnant? What kind of man would do that?
“I didn’t tell you so you’d feel sorry for us,” Holly was quick to say, making him wonder if his tone gave away any of his feelings. “I just thought I should tell you what it means to them to have you in their life. Except for Lyle, you’re really about the only male influence they have right now.” Sam was sorry that the boys had lacked male companionship in the past, but he fully intended to be there for them in the future.
“Holly, I’m honored that you felt comfortable enough to tell me this. And I want you to know that there isn’t anything in the world I wouldn’t do for those boys.” For her, too, but he didn’t think she was quite ready to hear that.
“Oh.” A loud boom, the signal for the beginning of the ‘spectacular’ fireworks display, startled Holly, who called out, “Boys, it’s starting. Come over to the blankets.”
“Billy. Come on, son. Wake up,” Sam said, gently rousing the boy as his mother rounded up the rest of the crew.
Yep. Perfect.

~~~~~

“I’ll help you get them in the house,” Sam said, stifling a yawn as they pulled into her driveway.
It was just after midnight, and Holly had insisted on riding along while he dropped the other boys off. He’d actually hoped to have everyone home by ten-thirty or so, but hadn’t counted on one of the biggest traffic jams he’d ever been stuck in after the fireworks.
“I can just wake them up,” Holly said, trying to fight off another yawn and losing the battle. She’d confessed that her usual bedtime was several hours earlier, so it was kind of a miracle she was still awake.
“You could. But after sleeping all the way from Battle Creek, you might not get them settled down for a while.” He smiled when she grimaced at the thought.
“Then I’ll thank you kindly, in advance, for your generous assistance.”
“After your assistance all day long, it’s the least I can do, Ma’am.”
“Oh, please. Don’t call me Ma’am. It makes me feel old.” She laughed softly. “But I have to admit, I’m feeling pretty old right now”
“Isn’t that the normal state for someone of your obviously advanced years?” he teased.
“Ha-ha.” She yawned again, as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “I’m really glad that Lyle insisted on opening in the morning. I’m going to sleep until seven.”
“You do like to pamper yourself, don’t you?”
“Absolutely. Seven is a lot later than four-thirty.”
“P.M.?”
“I wish.”
“You mean to tell me that there’s actually a four-thirty a.m.?”
“Yes, I do. And I generally see it five or six mornings a week.”
“Hmm. Well, let’s get these little guys in the house so that sleeping in until seven will really be sleeping in for you.” Except he knew it wouldn’t be. Not really. She’d stayed up too late to get any extra rest.
Sam lifted Zack into his arms as if he weighed no more than an infant, while Holly carried Billy inside the darkened house. She led the way up the stairs, and into a room lit only by a soft night light.
“Do you want them undressed?” he whispered, wondering why he was being so quiet, considering that they’d been speaking in normal tones as they talked in the van.
“No. Just their shoes. I’ll change the sheets in the morning.”
It wasn’t long before the boys were tucked in, and then Holly accompanied him back downstairs. They stood in the kitchen for a moment, and Sam sincerely wished that he could kiss her. Instead he simply said,
“Thanks again for coming with us today. All the kids had a great time. So did I.”
“You’re welcome. I enjoyed myself a lot, too.”
“Goodnight, Holly.”
“Night, Sam.”