IGNORANCE IS NO EXCUSE Copyright 2009 Anthony Dias Souza Smashwords Edition ISBN The following represents the last in the five-part series "Dialogues in Esse" and based on the Essean premise that "the cosmos is an infinite presence whose perpetual movement gives rise to all material forms". In this context, the term 'Essean' is derived from the Latin word 'esse' which the Society of Esseans International defines as 'that which truly exists'. It is not related to, nor associated with, the ancient Middle Eastern 'Essenai' (Essenes), their religious views, nor their communal lifestyle. Shelley munched on the remainder of a cookie as he returned from lunch in his cabin. He nodded his greetings to David who, moments earlier, had settled comfortably on a log just off the path linking the separate cabins he and his friend occupied. "Don't you ever eat lunch?" David grinned. "Of course, but I just have a little juice and fruit at noon time. In the morning, I have my two good meals. Lunch is just a tide me over in between." His companion shrugged and dug another chocolate chip cookie out of his pocket and, snapping the morsel in half, held out one portion. David eyed the bits of lint dangling from the cookie. "No thank you," he smiled. "I think I'll pass." Shelley again shrugged and blew the bits of lint off the morsel before popping it into his mouth. "You know, those things you said this morning," he mumbled as he chewed. "They really make a lot of sense." "What things, specifically?" "I mean those things about paying attention to what you're experiencing right now." David mildly frowned. "That was day before yesterday." "Whatever," Shelley said with a shrug. "Anyway, a person should pay attention to what they're doing right now." "Like that cookie you're eating?" David teased, watching as his friend stuffed the cookie crumbs spewing forth back into his mouth. Shelley self-consciously rolled his eyes downward as if attempting to look at his own mouth. "I'm doing it again, huh?" "What?" "Not paying attention what I'm doing and getting hung up in my own thoughts." His companion casually nodded. "That's not really a problem, not if you're aware of it and are doing it by personal choice. It's no crime to enjoy the fascination of your own thoughts as long as that fascination doesn't become an automatic reflex, shutting out the experiences of life." "Yeah, you're right," Shelley agreed. "That's why I liked what you said earlier, I mean, the other day, about taking time to experience first before you analyze or qualify the experience in thought. That rather hit on my basic problem. I really don't pay much attention to what I'm doing at the moment and spend too much time wrapped up in my own mind. It seems my head's always full of bits of garbage. I'm always going over the things that happened. You know, about the things I screwed up or didn't do or get done, trying to figure out what I'm going to do next, and not really paying much attention to what's going on now." David flashed an accommodating smile. "Well, realizing that is half the battle. At least, you're aware of the fact that, at least occasionally, you've got to drop all the garbage to let something new sink in. Like the old Chinese proverb says, you've got to empty your cup to make room for more tea." "And by the cup they meant your head, right?" "Mostly, but it's more like all of you. You have to let loose of all the things you're holding. Body tensions, expectations, preconceptions, and the lot. At some point during each day, you have to take hold of the full experience of being you, both inside and outside in the world. You've got to spend some time with your personal self." "You mean with the inner me?" "With the whole you," David replied. "The intrinsic you that exists at this very moment. It involves both your inner self and the experiences of that immediate moment, regardless of source, without translating that reality into words." A hint of suspicion crept across Shelley's face. "That sounds like a Buddhist or Taoist trip. Is it?" "Not really," David replied. "Pursuing self-awareness transcends religious dogma. It serves as a reality check." Shelley sighed. "I thought you said it was a religious thing. That's what I wrote in my class paper." "I have no problem with that," David said cautiously, "as long as you expressed it as a part of your own overall beliefs." "Well you did call it cosmic pantheism – the religion, I mean." "A name and no more," David sighed. "For your purpose, you had to put a label on it. Actually, it's a basic perspective I called Esse, remember? At any rate, I thought you chose to call it cosmic pantheism." His companion sheepishly shrugged. "I didn't write the names down and I forgot. So, I called it cosmic pantheism and said it had only one commandment, 'know thyself'." David patiently shook his head. "So, what's the problem now?" "For sure my prof is going to ask me to clarify. He always says that no matter what. Clarify." "Is that what this conversation is about?" Shelley nodded weakly. "I re-read my draft and it kinda sounds like I made the whole thing up." He cleared his throat and quickly added, "Not that I disagreed with the things you said but it seems that most pantheists are out on different trips – at least the ones I looked up." "Is that so bad?" "Sort of," Shelley replied. "I didn't quote you and can't find a way to justify my religious beliefs." David heaved an extended sigh. "I believe someone once said, 'I believe therefore it is my truth'. That's all the justification you need. It has been the only justification given by every philosopher, sage and prophet. Why shouldn't that apply to you?" Shelley winced. "But I'm none of those." "You don't have to be," David said gruffly. "Whatever you believe is your truth. That is the bottom line. Your beliefs are valid if they are based on the reality of being you." "But how do I determine that?" Shelley protested. "By getting in touch with the total you," David replied. "That should provide a clearer picture of what you truly believe." "And that's good, right?" David again sighed. "It's a far sight more productive than mouthing someone else's words. The things you parrot mindlessly create an undercurrent of doubt that requires the constant reinforcement organized religions seek to provide. Without it, their followers tend to lose trust in their particular faith. Whenever one of their flock grows lax and starts ignoring the rituals, those latent doubts surface, usually causing him or her to seek out some more appealing belief system and convert to a more accommodating faith." "Is it always driven by doubt?" "Invariably," David replied. "Doubt comes as a package deal when you accept someone else's beliefs." Shelley puzzled for a moment and then asked, "What is a belief, anyway?" "You mean in this context?" Shelley returned a silent nod. "An expectation," David said. "You presume a certain action on your part will achieve a particular result at some future time. There must be some rationale behind that expectation or some other benefits you derive by sustaining the belief." "What kind of benefits?" "That varies. However, religions that promise eventual eternal salvation must provide some immediate perks to keep their followers from wandering off to other faiths." "What kind of perks?" David aimlessly gazed off at the distant treetops. "The most common are the service religions provide. They strive to engender a sense of commonality, seeking to form a social family that shares a sense of superiority over the unbelieving masses whom they are directed to convert. However, the division is clearly defined – the saved versus the sinners whom are presumed to be damned unless they consent to be saved. Whether overt or covert, religious services are designed to accentuate this distinction." "Not all religions," Shelley countered. "Buddhism and Taoism don't harp upon you being saved." "The lines they draw are more subtle," David countered. "But both maintain similar classifications." Shelley frowned. "What classifications?" "Enlightened and ignorant," David replied. "If you practice either one, you believe and are on the way to enlightenment. If you don't accept their teachings, you are amongst the lowly ignorant and will have to wait for your next incarnation to work off your bad karma. The bottom line is: organized religions are an elitist lot." "What about the other benefits people get from religions," Shelley challenged. "Religious services are an uplifting experience – at least that's what I'm told." "They do provide a measure of satisfaction," David agreed. "However, that is not dependent on the particular brand of religion but on the social interaction that takes place. I've been to different churches and some were quite uplifting. The music was rousing, especially the singing of hymns. I list several of those amongst my favorite music. For instance, 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic' I find rousing and 'Amazing Grace', soothing. Still, that has nothing to do with my personal beliefs. Choral singing can trigger spectacular emotions above and beyond the professed doctrine of the particular church." "So can a rock concert," Shelley added. "There you go," David laughed. "Maybe you should make those the standard fare of your faith." Shelley broadly smiled. "Maybe I have." He paused and his faced descended to a mild frown. "I think we're getting sidetracked," he murmured. "I was more concerned about the things you said about cosmic pantheism." "For your paper," David suggested. Shelley nodded sheepishly. "I have to polish it by the end of term. Could you expand on this 'know thyself' bit?" "There's not much more to say on the subject," David replied. "That's something you'll have to discover for yourself. Remember when I said you should balance your life between thinking and experiencing and, for at least a good part of the time, try to experience things before you qualified them in words?" "Yeah, so?" "So that bit of advice, in itself, is an expression of a belief. It's an expectation that a certain action on your part will produce a certain result. However, that belief is flexible. It contains personal options. You can concentrate on thinking or experiencing depending upon your personal need and upon the reality of the immediate situation or time. On the other hand, dogmas don't offer that flexibility. They are rigid thou shall do this or not do that which try to foreordain things by eliminating all personal choice. See the difference?" "I think so," Shelley said. "I need some preconceptions because those allow me to anticipate and produce the things I need." "Close," David nodded. "Although, I prefer to call my beliefs, presumptions, instead of preconceptions because, based on past experience, they are formulas that I presume will work for the betterment of my life. All of my beliefs fall within the realm of that definition. They are valid at the present moment, but subject to modification if my experiences dictate that need." "That sounds a little like Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Everything is relative to the circumstance of a given system within the continuum of space-time," Shelley suggested. David muffled a spontaneous chuckle. "I believe you've misquoted the noted Doctor Einstein. However, it is a sort of religious relativity. A presumption or belief is, indeed, relative to the circumstances of the given moment, subject to alteration if those circumstances so dictate. Still, such presumptions or beliefs are necessary to an effective mode of life." "Alright," Shelley conceded. "You've made your point. I should develop flexible beliefs and stay away from rigid dogmas. So, proceed. Give me the rest of your religion of relativity." His friend smiled. "That's it. I gave you an analysis of it the other day. Beyond that, there's not really much more to say." "You sure?" "I mean it all boils down to simply being yourself, and that's something you'll have to discover on your own." "Oh gre-a-at," his companion moaned. "After all this build up, that's it? Go find it for myself?" "Yep, Esse is just a convenient word for the reality of being you and for the reality of the cosmos. Beyond any given explanations, it's something you'll have to discover for yourself." "You must think I'm some sort of genius," Shelley grumbled. "What do you mean?" David asked. "I mean everybody...philosophers, theologians, scientists, you name it...has been working on that one for centuries. With little success, I might add. How do you expect me to discover who I am, let alone discover the reality of the infinite cosmos?" David slowly shook his head. "Sorry but a plea of ignorance is no excuse in the eyes of the law." "What law?" "The basic law of being. You know who you are because you perceive all there is to being you." "Sez who?" "Reality. You are a cohesive unit of living energies and, as such, each part of you interacts with the rest of you, right?" "If you mean that all of me is connected, yeah." "Okay then. Since every part of you affects every other part, all of you must affect your mind. Do you agree?" Shelley hesitated a moment, then nodded. "That seems to follow logically." "Well then," David continued. "If all of you affect your mind, viola! You, somehow, in some way, must be aware of all of you. Moreover, by the same extension, since all of the cosmos affects you, in some way, you must be aware of all of the cosmos." "Then why am I not conscious of all of me?" Shelley sneered. His companion shrugged. "You're not paying attention." "But I am listening," Shelley protested. "No, I don't mean to me," David drawled. "I mean you're not paying attention to the full experience of being you. You're shutting out some aspects of that full experience." "You mean I'm closing my mind to it." "If you prefer to put it that way, yes. You're narrowly focusing your mind's eye on some small aspect of being and pushing the rest into the background of consciousness the way you focus on your television set and ignore everything else that's taking place around you in the room. You're still receiving all those other experiences. However you're ignoring them within the focus of your mind's eye. Normally that ability to focus is a real blessing. It allows you to limit yourself to specifics and to reduce the potential for chaos in your life. You couldn't deal with all of your experiences all of the time. However that ability to focus, when used to enforce a self-imposed blindness, becomes a real hindrance. It perpetuates an ignorance of reality - an ignorance that can destroy your effectiveness in life." Shelley arched his eyebrows and nodded in concurrence. "Oh, that's what you mean by my not paying attention. I'm not aware of the whole of me because I'm deliberately limiting my focus to a small part of my being. Why didn't I realize that earlier?" "I don't know," David replied. "From what you said earlier, it sounds like you've been victimized by that absurd notion that you have to be a prophet, genius or the like to gain a full awareness of yourself. That's pure bull. Simple logic should tell you that you are the world's foremost authority on being you. After all, you're the only one who inhabits and operates your mind and body. No one else can claim that intimate familiarity. Therefore, why should you depend upon anyone but yourself when seeking answers about the reality of being you?" "But don't other people see you more realistically?" "Only if they see something that you've deliberately hidden from yourself by your choice of focus. Then, someone else might be able to point out that self-created blind spot. However, that's only guesswork on their part. You're the only one who can determine whether or not their observations or presumptions are true." "Maybe you're right," Shelley acknowledged. "I guess the bottom line is: no one really knows me better than me." "Of course not," David concurred. "You're the only one who really are you. What else can I say?" A moment of silence passed as Shelley evaluated the thought. Then, with a trace of consternation creasing his forehead, he again turned and spoke. "You know, on the surface, my being the greatest authority on me is a nice theoretical proposition, but...." "But what?" "But, on the practical side, how the hell do I go about erasing the blind spots to be come more aware of myself?" "Start with the obvious," David suggested. "Spend some time exploring. Try sitting quietly and listening to whatever captivates your attention about yourself. Don't think about it or try to force the issue. Instead, just let yourself go along with the flow and quietly observe. Pay attention to your experiences. After all, they're the sum of your conscious contact with yourself and the universe at large. That should get you started, that is, unless you're afraid?" "Afraid?" echoed Shelley. "Of what?" "Of discovering the real you." Shelley sneered. "Why should I be afraid of that?" David shrugged. "Possibly because uncovering the real you might shatter some of your pet sacred cows. I mean it might reveal something that doesn't agree with your present image of yourself." "I don't see how that would make me afraid." "It could. You see, your self-image is a selective fabrication. It is a collage of choice bits of experience, some fantasy, and a few projected dreams. Thus, when you begin a realistic self-inspection, that self-image might be threatened. It might make you feel that you'd rather not deal with the real you. The more divorced that self-image is from the real you, the greater will be the sense of threat or danger. For instance, let's say you pictured yourself as a rugged Mr. Universe type. Your actual five-foot nine or so, medium lean stature won't seem as desirable as that distorted self-image. In that case, just a simple honest look in a full-length mirror could generate some desire for evasion and produce some scary feelings to prevent you from taking that honest look. Self image destruction often equates itself with self destruction in the hidden recesses of your mind and stimulates the survival mechanisms that are generally interpreted as fear." "Yeah, but can that produce real fear?" "Your body produces the reactions. How intense you interpret those reactions are up to you. It could produce a helluva lot of anxiety. Look what the appearance of a few gray hairs and wrinkles does to some people who're hung up with clinging unto their youth." Shelley gave his companion an affirming nod. "I see what mean. I knew a person once who seemed terrified over that very trip. However, that was a no-win situation. You could tell he was aware of the reality to some degree and tried to hide it from himself by pretending to everyone else. He was haunted by it all of the time." "There you go," David concurred. "All unreal aspects of your self image cause you some measure of grief because, whether you choose to recognize those unreal aspects or not, you always are aware of the actual you. In fact, I guess differences between who you really are and the phony aspects of your self-image cause most of a person's anxieties. It takes a hell of a lot of energy to keep the phony elements going and the real ones suppressed." "In other words, you're suggesting that I would have a lot less head hassles if I started being the person I really am, right?" "No doubt about it," David agreed. "Accepting and being who you are certainly brings a greater sense of realness and peace of mind." Shelley heaved a sigh and slumped back against the trunk of the fallen tree that David was using as a backrest. "Well, I guess if I'm stuck with who I am, I'd better start trying to be me." "No need to get so depressed about it," said David with an encouraging smile. "You're never stuck with the real you." "I'm not?" "No, there are aspects of the real you that you'll simply have to live with, like the general human attributes or equipment we all possess. However, life is never static. You can change the state of your body with better health habits and exercise or the like and, with some applied effort, you can help yourself evolve into the kind of person you'd rather be. Yet, before you can truly be successful at that type of self-improvement, you'll have to recognize and accept the immediate real you. You see, self improvement is like a journey. You've got to know where you're at and have some idea as to where you'd like to go before you can successfully plan the route and determine what you'll need for the trip." "In other words, if I accept where I'm at, at this moment, I'll have a better idea as to where I'd like to go, right?" David nodded. "Right." "Then will I see some self improvement?" "Inevitably," David responded. "Recognizing where you're at invariably generates concepts of where you'd want to go and that desire, in itself, will motivate some element of change for the better." Shelley turned and distantly stared down the path. "That brings me back to base one," he moaned. "How's that?" David asked. "I'm still stuck with trying to figure out who the real me is. Where the hell do I begin?" "Well, why not start with a general survey of the things we all share?" "Like what?" David paused for a moment then offered. "Like for instance, you're not a one of a kind creation. There are other creatures on earth like you. We all must be similar to some extent. After all, aren't our body parts interchangeable? We can exchange blood, kidneys, and other things like that. Even our thoughts are interchangeable. You can give me your ideas and take ideas from me. That should prove our bodies and minds are somewhat similar and that you and I are members of the same human breed." "So...?" "So," David continued, "You're also related to other things. For example, your basic needs are not unique to our species. You need the same fundamental things other earthly creatures need in order to survive. In fact, even your emotional needs are similar to those of other species. So, to a degree, you're related to every creature on earth. Not only that, but even the basic elements that make up your being are common to the native environment of the earth. Atoms and molecules function in the same way in your body as they do in other material things. And it can easily be shown that those basic things are critical to the functioning of your mind. Therefore, I'd say you're an earthly life form related to all the things of this world." Shelley scowled. "That may be true, but it's not the complete picture. Okay, so I have a lot of things in common with Nature, but I'm different. I mean human beings are greater than everything else on earth." "Careful, your ego's showing," David chided. "However, you're right to a degree. We are the dominant species in this neck of the universe at this moment. In fact, we are the reigning Lords of the Earth. Yet, that simply may be because we make better use of our native abilities and not because we're endowed with any extraordinary gifts." "Like what abilities?" "Like, we make better use of communication. In fact, that is the key to our intellects. We're able to do all those spectacular things we do mainly because we have an efficient means of communicating with each other and with our own selves within the privacy of our minds. That language ability is the real secret of our success. It gives us a sort of mental shorthand which lets us put together bits of remembered experiences with remarkable speed, permitting accelerated creativity and the handing down of more complex abilities we develop to succeeding generations. Thus, our language ability has permitted a more effective accumulation of knowledge, making each generation a little more effective than the one before. Look at our history. Our development as a species has been the product of our communication skills and not the other way around. Our species is well over a million years old. Yet, real progress began less than a hundred thousand years ago and really didn't begin to blossom except for the last thousand years or so. But look at us now. We have traveled further in the last fifty years than our ancestors did in fifty thousand years of their existence. As I see it, that growth has been inspired by a comparative growth in our communication skills." Shelley questioningly cocked an eyebrow. "You mean we owe who we are to words?" "To a great extent, yes. Words pull together sight, sound, and all those other types of experience with incredible speed and allow us to manipulate our memories better than most species on earth. And the better we manipulate our memories, the more creative we are in developing more efficient methods of dealing with the normal aspects of daily life." "Aw, come on," Shelley moaned. "Creativity doesn't depend upon words." "No, it doesn't," David agreed. "However, efficiency in creativity does. Besides, even chimps, dogs, cats, and octopuses are creative in their dealings with basic survival trips. However, we're more efficient because we effectively use words." "How so?" "Because word manipulation trains your mind to process ideas more rapidly. Thus, you're more proficient at putting together new concepts and better able to improve those concepts by exchanging ideas with other human beings." "Okay," Shelley conceded. "Our language ability may be the key to our greater development, but we developed that ability because we're unique to this world." David grinned. "Oh yeah? What are words besides uttered animal sounds? We don't have the largest brains in the animal kingdom. We're just better in our ability to communicate." "Ah ha," Shelley declared. "That's special." "Is it?" David asked. "Bees and ants have developed communication skills. They manage to flourish with theirs. We do more mostly because we have better developed brains. However, considering the extent of their development, it's possible that, if they had the physical equipment we have, they'd be running this world." "But we are different," Shelley insisted. "We have something more, something special. That's it! We have something supernatural about us, a spiritual quality." "Indeed?" David declared. "And, pray tell, just what is that spiritual quality we possess that nothing else in the world does?" Shelley balked at the question, scuffing the tip of his sneaker against a small outcropping of rock. "Hell I don't know. That's something I've been told and something I believe." "Careful, my friend," David cautioned. "Beliefs that you don't understand can be dangerous. How can you be sure of something if you haven't a clue as to what that something is?" The other man scowled. "Okay, so I don't know what it is, but I believe it because I feel special inside. I can see that I'm different from everything else." "Okay," David conceded. "So you feel different. Couldn't that be any more than your sense of self-awareness? You look out at the rest of the universe from inside your body and make a distinction between you in there and everything else outside. That could give you a mistaken impression that you are the center of the cosmos, the way it once made people believe the Earth was the center of the Universe with everything else revolving around it. From that misjudgment, you'd naturally deem yourself special. Anyhow, maybe everything else also perceives itself as special and simply has not been able to communicate that fact to you. If every human feels special, why not every animal, fish, insect, or even a tree?" "Okay, I concede," Shelley muttered. "The whole supernatural bit is nothing more than a big human ego trip." "Oh no," David disagreed. "Super-naturalness is a reality. There's a definite supernatural side to our beings, but that has nothing to do with being special or unique." Shelley frowned. "Alright, explain that one." "Gladly," David said with a grin. "The proof is built into the definition of the word. You see, words like natural and supernatural are terms of convenience. They were coined back when the knowable world was thought of as only those things which could be seen, heard, tasted, smelt, or touched by the native senses we each inherit at birth. Moreover, that knowable realm made up our ancestor's acknowledged natural world. However, our forefathers weren't totally naive. I mean they realized that every human experience has an underlying cause and, when that cause couldn't be perceived through their overt externally oriented senses, they concluded that some hidden aspect of the cosmos produced the experience. Consequently, they labeled that hidden causing aspect, super natural, because it was beyond their ordinary natural realm." "You mean, supernatural simply means extrasensory in terms of our five major senses, right?" "Right." Shelley scowled. "But isn't it supposed to mean ghostly or something like that?" "No, not by definition. The things you call ghosts are natural phenomena because they can be seen, heard, or externally felt. Now, the cause of those natural experiences you call ghosts could be supernatural because, if you can't perceive that cause, it exists beyond the range of your usual perceptions of external things." A further squint of annoyance peaked in Shelley's eyes. "Sensory and extrasensory? That's all there is to it?" David nodded. "Yes, that's the bottom line meaning of natural and supernatural." The grimace etched deeper on Shelley's face. "Hell," he growled. "Then, the word supernatural is meaningless." "Not at all," David contradicted. "It tells us quite a lot. Supernatural identifies the extraordinary and informs us that, if we wish to examine or investigate some aspect of that extraordinary, we must employ extraordinary means in doing so. Like studying the extrasensory virus. We need something more than our unaided natural senses, something extraordinary like the electron microscope to probe that corner of our supernatural realm." "Now wait a damned minute," Shelley barked. "Viruses aren't supernatural." "By definition, they are," David grinned. "Besides, aren't they the fiendish evil spirits that bring on those devilish colds?" "Okay, they're extrasensory, but . . ." "No buts about it," David interrupted. "No matter how you slice it, supernatural and extrasensory mean the same blasted thing." "Well, that's not my impression of the word," Shelley grumbled. "To me, supernatural means something unearthly, like spirits, devils, and other intimidating things." David sighed. "Then, my friend, you're in big trouble." "Why?" "Because, if you flash on intimidating images whenever you use the word, you submerge yourself in a hopeless dilemma. On the one hand, you believe the inner you to be supernatural while, on the other, things you associate with that word intimidate you. Good grief, how can you comfortably explore your own inner being when the labels you hang on that inner being automatically evoke some measure of fear?" Shelley blanched. "Damn, I never considered that." "Well, you'd better," David advised. "It might make your search for your real self a lot easier. As I said, words are powerful little gadgets. They pull together not only ideas from past experiences but also the emotions that go along with those experiences. Thus, the words you choose to define your being and its relationship with the cosmos have a definite impact on your basic outlook on life. Take my advice, pay more attention to those self-labels. See if they're helping or hurting your cause." "You mean I could be causing a real split between my rational and emotional sides." "Between your what?" David asked. "Between the words I use to consciously describe myself and my unconscious reaction to those words." "Probably, but I dislike dichotomies. Terms like rational versus emotional, conscious versus unconscious, besides being erroneous, confuse the issue of awareness." "Why?" "Because, for instance, unconscious implies something out of the range of your influence. And, when you resign a chunk of yourself as being beyond your reach, you're giving up on that part of you. It's just a sneakier way of putting the blame on something beyond your control. It is a psychologist's version of saying, the devil made me do it. It lets you sit around crying out, oh poor helpless me." "But aren't some things beyond the range of our influence?" "Not within the sphere of your being. You can influence and re-channel any activity if you really want to make the effort. If you don't, fine. Admit it. Don't sit around making up sophisticated excuses for yourself. Your whole being interacts. Your mind influences your body, your body influences your mind, and the consciousness you control influences both. So, tell me, what part of you can't you influence?" "No part, I guess," Shelley replied. "Okay," David said, "then don't go around manufacturing copouts. Clear your verbal register and redefine yourself and your life in constructive approachable terms. See and feel yourself as a thoroughly worthwhile, friendly, and reachable entity and believe that you can accept and work within that entity to produce a realistically perfect you." Shelley paused a moment, then nodded. "You're right. That does seem like a more constructive perspective. However . . ." "However what?" David asked as Shelley paused again. "However, can anyone be perfect?" "Realistically perfect, humanly perfect, yes. Of course, we can achieve the best possible state of existence given the circumstances. You see, I qualified my use of that word. When I think of perfect, I imagine me as being the honest to goodness me. Who I am, what I am, when I am. That allows me to screw things up now and then without destroying the concept of human perfection. In fact, from my point of view, being humanly perfect simply means being perfectly human." Shelley nodded. "I can go along with that point of view. However, I think I'll stick to calling myself perfectly human. I hope it'll keep me from going off on more ego trips." "Suit yourself. Like I said, the labels you hang on yourself should be those which serve your best interests, even if your interpretation doesn't jibe with someone else's. Call yourself what you like as long as you like what you call yourself." A few moments of silence embraced the pair as both men withdrew into their private thoughts. Ultimately, David observed a look of consternation upon his friend's face and broke the silence. "Something weighty on your mind?" he asked. Shelley nodded. "It's this entire self exploration bit. I mean, yes, I want to discover the real me. However, I'm not really sure how to go about it. Every time I look inward, I keep seeing the same old me." "Every time?" "Damned near. I keep rolling the same old thoughts around in my mind. Am I doing something wrong?" "Possibly," David replied. "Why not try approaching things from a different point of view." "Like how?" Shelley asked. "Like getting around those thoughts and doing a little experiencing of the inner you." Shelley shrugged. "Fine, how do I do that? Just stop thinking?" "No," David responded. "Try the three traditional approaches to self awareness." "What are those?" David smiled. "I thought you'd never ask. The three are observation, meditation and utilization. Self-observation basically is listening to and being yourself in a non-thinking way. For instance, do a mind-scan. Pick a word and slowly repeat it, a few times aloud, then a few times mentally in your mind, and observe all the images and impressions that pop into your head because you voiced the word. However, don't digress. Don't think in words about those images and impressions. Instead, just watch them like you would a bunch of people walking by. Or do a body-scan. Pick out a part or area of your body and, keeping the rest of you quiet, explore the things that part or area brings to your mind. Again, don't think about those things in words. That sort of self observation should lead to some new perspectives about you." "That sounds like meditation," Shelley observed. "Not quite," David countered. "Meditation is really a different trip. You can meditate in many ways for different purposes. However, for simply gaining a new perspective of yourself, I'd suggest you begin with just two. First, you can engage in pure relaxation. You sit or lay in a comfortable position, eyes closed, and take a guided tour of your body. You feel or sense your way around it beginning with your upper lip, up over your forehead, down your back to the soles of your feet, then back up the front of you to your mouth. Go over your body nine times. The first three times, you feel the surface of your skin; the next three times, you tune into your muscles; and, the last three times, you concentrate on your bones. You do all of this without talking to yourself, of course." "But I thought meditation had to do with chanting or something like that?" "Oh that! That's the second way I was about to suggest. You pick out a set of meaningless syllables, preferably those that sort of vibrate in your head. For instance, ah, na, ma, um, oo, la or any others that strike your fancy. Put them together into a short phrase." "You mean something like um-ah-noo-mah-lum-ah." "Or whatever. At any rate, you sit or lie quietly and repeat that phrase over and over, first, out loud, then silently inside of your head. It's a wonderful practice. Everyone should try it for at least ten to twenty minutes every day." "Why? What the hell good does it do?" "It tunes you into your consciousness. The chanting focuses your mind within central controlling facet without cluttering your attention with a whole stream of chatter, rambling images and thoughts. That lets you hone your focus and concentration, and helps you develop more mental and physical self-control. Besides, it sets both your body and mind at ease. It's a great way to control anxiety or nervousness, a sort of natural tranquilizer with only beneficial side effects." "But aren't you supposed to have some special mantra or something like that to chant?" "Why? Any meaningless set of pleasant syllables, especially the three basic sounds of speech, ah, oh, um, will work. Besides, if you try to chant something that has a definite meaning, at best, your mind will wander and, at its worst, you'll stray into a conscious dream state and come up with raft of hallucinations relative to the meaning of that thing you're chanting. So, unless you're seeking to explore that illusionary dream state, I'd suggest you stick to a phrase made up of meaningless syllables, and use the same phrase every time you chant." "Why?" "Because, regular use of the same phrase develops a mind set or habit of getting into a particular frame of mind. It generally takes about ninety days to really implant that habit but, after that, once you begin the chanting, you'll automatically slip into that peaceful mental and physical state." "That sounds reasonable," Shelley agreed. "I think I give it a try." "You also might try the third trip, utilization. That's simply feeling yourself move. You just stand or lie down with your eyes closed and slowly move your whole body, one area at a time, feeling all of the parts of you that move. If you're standing, feel your center of balance and try to locate the site of that center, and then focus on it while you move. That's about the gist of utilization. You can explore it in any way you like. The method is not important. All that matters is you engage in the process of getting acquainted with the mobile you." "How about some Tai Chi exercises?" Shelley asked. "Those are fine," David agreed. "However, try free lance utilization. You're libel to get hung up with trying to perfect the practice and lose sight of exploring the real inner you." Shelley peered at David for an instant then asked. "Will these things really put me in touch with myself?" "They're a beginning. They'll get you into the habit of looking at yourself in a realistic noncommittal way and that momentum will carry over into the way you view the complete you." "You mean if I start exploring myself both physically and mentally, that will open the door to the other things I may have locked away in the back of my mind." David nodded. "Right. Once you begin an in-reach, you'll grow more comfortable with the process. It'll build your confidence and, as you begin to discover that you're not such a bad person to be with, you'll find yourself more willing to accept the reality that is you." "Oh, what the hell, what have I got to lose?" Shelley ventured. David smiled. "Nothing but unnecessary head hassles. You simply buy trouble when you try to live with phony self-images. It generates a helluva lot of inner conflicts because the basic law of being makes you aware of all of you whether or not you choose to recognize any part of you." "I guess so," Shelley conceded. "And, like you said, ignorance of that law is no excuse." "At last, the ultimate honor," David laughed. "You are now quoting me." The End