This book is a work of fiction.  Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the writer’s imagination or are used fictitiously.  Any resemblance to actual events or locales or person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

An Original Publication of Savage World Entertainment.

Copyright © 2004 by Bashan Savage
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever, except for use of quotes for review purposes.  For information please contact: bashansavage@yahoo.com

Printed in the U.S.A.

ISBN: 978-1-4661-8044-4
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S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 1 (The Cutting Edge)


Welcome everybody and everyone. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages and genders. This is S.A.W., Sensational American Wrestling, as we present The Cutting Edge, and we are live from Krupp, Washington in Grant’s county. Yes, we have sold out the Keyes Arena. I’m your host, Wil B. Creamin, who has all the ladies screaming and this is our first show ever! That’s right, every Tuesday we’ll have The Cutting Edge and on Fridays it will be The Final Cut, that’s right, two shows a week, twice the action, twice the satisfaction. Now, we’re going to a pre-recorded message from the owner and creator of S.A.W., Tex Rich.

<Pre-Recorded message>
“Welcome everyone. I’m the owner and creator of S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling, Tex Rich, that’s me.  And I’m welcoming you to the most exciting and delighting, high flying and mesmerizing, incredible and amazing, simply put… Sensational! American Wrestling. Tonight, we will have title matches for most of the night, since all the titles are vacant. Now, I have some last minute details to iron out, so sit back if you are at home or stand up and cheer if you’re here. Thank you fans and back to you, Wil.”

Well, that was the plump president, the obese owner Tex Rich, but I’m not one to chew the fat. Well, you have it straight from the owner’s mouth, which not a lot escapes I might add, that we will have title matches all night long. Speaking of all night long, last night back at the hotel...

<Rich Inc’s Music Plays>
Oh, never mind.  It’s time for the owner to come to the ring and announce the first title match of the night. The individuals he’s coming to the ring with are the Dollar Dollar Bills and Tex’s own two sons, Robert and Rick Rich. I was informed that I’m, well, we are supposed to call this group, Rich Inc, short for incorporated. Well, the owner has the mic, time to listen.

The crowd cheers the five individuals in the ring. Tex Rich, styling his big white cowboy hat, motions for the crowd to quiet down. 
Once the crowd is at a quiet roar, Tex speaks, “Thank you for the great reception. I’m glad to have you all here witnessing my dream come true, the birth of S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling.” 

The crowd cheers. 

“Our first match of the night is going to be for the tag team championship of the world. Before the show started, all the team and individual wrestlers put their names or name, in a raffle. This way everyone would be gua-ran-damn-teed a fair and equal chance for themselves to get a fair shot at some gold, since I’m a fair and hard-working Texan who believes everyone should get a fair shot. Now, this will be for the world tag team titles.”

Hey, nobody let me enter my name in the raffle, that’s weak. Oh well, I wrestled a lot last night, if you know what I mean.

“So the first team is...” Tex tears open an envelope and pulls out a piece of paper. “...The Dollar Dollar Bills!” 
The crowd cheers as the shocked DDB’s stand by Tex in the ring. “And their opponents are...” 
Tex opens another envelope. “...Nobody!” The crowd erupts into boos as Tex hands the DDB’s the tag belts.

What? Talk about low down dirty tricks. They even tricked me and being a man of the world, I know all about low down dirty tricks. Like the one I saw last night outside my hotel...Oh, never mind. Man, I’m so disappointed with Tex’s little trick! I thought we would see a title match for sure. I haven’t been this disappointed since I found out Milla Vanilla was lip-synching. For crying out loud, if they were gonna hand out titles, they should have given me one. I would have been appreciative and most definitely would have finished celebrating by now. Look at these idiots, acting like they actually won the tag titles or something.

The Dollar Dollar Bills continue to celebrate in the ring; climbing the turnbuckles, hugging each other, high fives, and other antics, while the rest of Rich Inc stands around. Tex seems to be enjoying the scene while his sons seem unaffected by this display.

Man, this is ridiculous! How long can they celebrate for something they didn’t even win? Well, we are going backstage now, at least we don’t have to keep watching those two. Are those tears?! Come on, give it up guys.

<Backstage>
“Hi I’m Mike Stopsign, welcoming you to The Cutting Edge, S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling and I’m standing here with Nathan “Unique” Taylor, who will be wrestling later tonight. So Nathan are you excited?”
“Please just call me Unique. And excited? I’m apprehensively overwrought, what about you?”
“Um...I’m doing pretty good. Well, tonight you’ll face Cashless Clayton, which means you might do double duty if your name is drawn for a title match. Do you feel up to it?”
“I’m elevated to a permanent level clashing with any perceivable plane!”
“What?”
“Simply put, I’m genial!”
“Okay...sure you are. Well, good luck and back to you Wil.”

What did he say? He’s a genital? Unique guy, I guess the name fits, kinda like mine, Wil B. Creamin, baby. Well, as Stopsign mentioned, some wrestlers do or did, however you look at it, face the chance of double duty, if they are already scheduled for a match. Anyone could have two matches, but only one for the title, I guess.

<Rockstar’s Music Plays>
And that brings us to our first real match. Coming to the ring, hailing from Seattle and Cancun, the tag team that exemplifies the 80’s rock music attitude, a couple decades too late. The team of Rad Brad and Far Out Phil...the Rockstars!

<The Cutting Edge Intro Music Plays> 
Their opponents, teaming for the first time anywhere. First, the self-proclaimed backwoods hick...Charles Choker! And his partner tonight is the old, old, old, old school legend, who had been in the ring more times than the whole S.A.W. roster combined... Mikeal!

< Match (Rockstars - vs -Choker/Mikeal) RS wins by doing their finisher “Chart Drop” allowing them to gain the pin. While doing their post victory celebration, the DDB’S come down to the ring and jump them, leaving the RS beaten down in the ring. Once the DDB’S are at the top of the ring ramp, they turn around. Big Tyme has a mic. “That’s what you are or anyone gets if we catch anyone using our finishing move.” Big Shot speaks into his mic, “Yeah, and you can name it anything you want, but you might as well call it “Stomped Down” cause that’s what we’ll hand out to anyone who uses it.” Big Tyme says, “Get it?“ Big Shot adds, “Got it?” Then they go backstage.>

Was that really called for? Not like anyone knew that was their move because they have not even wrestled yet. And since when have moves been exclusive? Let’s hope they don’t claim a chest slap too. Then they might start beating the hell out of most of the wrestlers here and some ladies backstage too.

< Backstage >
The Brooklyn Bombers are seated at a table playing cards in the back hallway while they watch the show.
“I got wheels, mark us down for wheels. Nice shiny Daytons,” says Bruno.
Mikeal, who just finished his match starts to walk by them until they stand up. Bruno stands in Mikeal’s way.
“What do you want chump?” yells Bruno.
A nervous and thirsty Mikeal tells him, “I’m just going to get some water.  That’s all.”
“Oh, you are huh? Just gonna walk up in our hood and get some water, huh?”
“Your hood? What’s ‘your hood’?” Mikeal asked because he has no idea what a “hood” is, besides being on a sweat shirt.
“Our hood is wherever we want it, sucka!”
“Yeah!” the other BB’s yell in unison.
“But I just want some water and that’s the only water fountain that works.  Well, at least that I found...”
As Mikeal tries to explain his situation, Bruno flinches aggressively and Mikeal falls down.  All three BB’s laugh as Mikeal gathers himself off the floor and then runs away down the hall.

That’s crazy!  They were going to beat up that decrepit old man over some water? I could see that happening if it was over him trying to avoid water, if you know what I’m saying but for crying out loud.  And their hood? Who told them they could set up their hood in the back of the arena anyways?  If it wasn’t for this chronic microphone pinkie injury bothering me, I would go back there, maybe...and teach those guys a lesson.  Now I mean maybe go back there but definitely teach those guys a lesson, yep, definitely teach them a lesson.  Anyways, it’s time for a commercial break, but before that, I would like to announce the lucky winners who will be entered into the drawing to go VIP to our first ever P.P.V. to be named later.  Those winners were drawn from the people in attendance.  Later in the show, I will tell you viewers at home just how you can enter.  Each show until the pay per view, one from home and one from the show will be entered.  Two will win the whole sha-bang! Tonight, two will be drawn from the show to make up for the home viewer slot.  Anyways, the winners are Danielle N. Moans and Lauren D. Childs.  Hey two ladies winners, come on down to my booth.  Oh la la.  Well, time for commercial break and when we come back, we’ll be joined by Tex and Rich Inc and the drawing for the Americas championship title match.  Keep your fingers crossed for no more tricks.

<Commercial Break>
A lady is stocking a shelf of candy behind the checkout counter with her back to the store entrance as a man walks in.  The man is wearing tight fitting Capri pants and a lavender button up shirt that’s tied in the front with a knot, with the top three buttons unbuttoned and no undershirt. This exposes his curly chest hairs.
The camera pans in on the woman’s rear.
“Oh girl, let me get some of that, baby.” says the man.
The woman is offended by what she thought he was referring to.  She turns around to find him pointing toward her.  She asks, “Excuse me?”
“Oh, some of that.”
She realizes he’s pointing at the box of candy on the shelf that she was stocking, “Oh, I’m sorry.  These? Fruit Bootie Candies?”
“Yes girl, please give me a big tube.”
As she reaches over the small tubes, she asks “Which flavor?”
“Oh, I’ll take butterscotch.”
As she rings in the candy, she asks, “Are these any good?  I never tried them before.”
“Oh child, once you go Fruit Booties, you’ll never want anything else.”
“That good, huh?”
“Yes.  Each one has a gushy center that explodes in your mouth and in your hand if you are not careful.”  The man winks.
She asked as she took his money, “Well, we only seem to always have butterscotch and vanilla, and I truly don’t care for either.  What other flavors do they have?” 
“Watermelon, strawberry, chocolate, grape and orange.”
“What about cherry or peach?”
“No, but those would be awful flavors anyways.”
“Oh well, I still might give them a shot.” She gives him his change.
“You should, it’ll be the best taste your mouth will ever experience.”
“Thanks.”

<In the ring> 
Tex and Rich Inc are all standing in the ring amidst boos. “I truly apologize for doing what I did earlier, but I did say I had some last minute details to iron out and it was getting the Dollar Dollar Bills, the best damn unsigned tag team in the world, signed here to S.A.W. So I had to promise them the belts.  Trust me, they are that good, well worth it as you all will see very soon. Again, I apologize, but let’s keep this show going.  Time for the names in the Americas title match.”
Tex rips open an envelope, “The first competitor is...Bobby Rich!”  
The crowd erupts in boos. 
“No, please, please hear me out!  This is a shock to me. Just a coincidence, I swear.  Now, we are going to have a championship match!” 
Tex hastily opens another envelope, “And his opponent is...nobody! Here’s the belt, son.”  
The stadium echoes with boos as he hands Bobby the championship belt.  Bobby doesn’t seem as thrilled as Tex is. Bobby and Rick look at each other, then look away without a word.

Oh this is straight bull.  If I knew they were gonna just be handing out the belts, I would’ve gotten in line a long time ago. C’mon, I’m good on the mat.  The ladies say I can pull off several jackhammer-like moves, if you know what I mean.  And what does this all mean for the fans who came here to see championship matches?  And what about the wrestlers who are not even getting a fair chance? We shoulda knew something was up when Tex said “fair” four times in less than four seconds earlier.  Well, I guess we are going backstage and maybe we’ll find out just how some of the wrestlers feel about this.

<Backstage> 
In his locker room, James “Boogie Down” Brown is talking into his mirror, with a mini monitor on the counter top. “Yo, this be strait ill to izzout. But yo I be chilled like a dilly-o, the peeps wanna se-zot a fresh funky show? Boogie bout to get on down, can I get down?” Then he exits the locker room.

What’d he just say? With Unique and BDB around, we might have to hire a translator. Well, I was told he’s on his way down to the ring.

< James “Boogie Down” Brown’s Music Plays >
 Now that’s old school-new school funk there, and here comes the um...how do I put it? Well simply, it’s the white...James “Boogie Down” Brown!

< In the Ring >
BDB is in the ring and the crowd is loving him. 
“Yo, yo, yo, waz be da haps my peeps?! Peepz in dah his-ouce wanna see Boogie Down hit the uptown train before da soul in the hole? If so give me a BDB, baby!”
The crowd chants “BDB”.
“Then hitz my muzak my jigga in da ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-back!” 

< BDB Music Plays >
 Boogie Down starts dancing a mix between what looks like break dancing and techno.

< Backstage >
The Brooklyn Bombers are dealing out cards, when Bruno notices BDB on the monitor dancing. “What in the..?!” Bruno can’t even finish his sentence as he watches BDB gyrate his hips. Bruno says, “Who is this fool making fun of our people? Let’s go kick his ass!” 
The other 3 BB’s agree in unison “Yeah!” They all head to the ring.

Oh no! Get out of the ring, you dancing fool. Oh no! Here they come. If it wasn’t for all these cords and stuff that I’m hooked to I would...probably go help.

< In the Ring >
BDB didn’t see them coming because they attacked him from behind while he was dancing. After beating him down for awhile, Bruce and Bubba lifted him up and flung him toward Bruno who nails BDB with his finisher “The Decapitator” power clothesline. They give each other high fives before they leave the ring. BDB was left motionless in the ring.

< Backstage >
Mikeal is laughing as he fills his container with water from the fountain that he was trying to use earlier. After he fills it to the top, he walks back past the table that the BB’s were playing cards at, dropping drops of water on the ground as he goes back to his locker room.

Those guys are some mean customers, very mean and I would hate to have been in Boogie Down’s shoes, or Mikeal’s shoes, that’s if they find out what Mikeal just did. Even though I do admire sneaky men, I’m sneaky when I have to, like when the man of the house gets home, and speaking of men getting home, I just got word that the Bombers have just made it backstage.

< Backstage >
The BB’s are standing in front of their table celebrating what they did to Boogie Down Brown.
“Did you guys see that sucka’s head snap back?” asks Bruno.
“Yeah!” the others say in unison, with smiles on their faces.
As Bruno gathers the playing cards off the table, he notices the water drops on the ground, “What? Why that little, wrinkled, sneaky bastard! I think he came into our hood and stole some water. And after we warned him too!” 
Bruno slams his fists on the table, “Let’s go teach this chump sucka something, Brooklyn Style!”
“Yeah!” said the other BB’s in unison.
Then remembering that two of the group members have a match, Bruno says, “Hey, Butch you come with me, you two have a match.”
Bruce and Bubba answer in unison, “Oh yeah!” 
All the men walk off in their separate pairings.

Poor ol’ Mikeal. Well, we’ve had more action outside of matches than during them. Crazy. Well anyways, this showing of Tuesday night’s, The Cutting Edge, has been brought to you by F. L. E. D, Fetish Lap and Exotic Dancing. You tried the best, now time to try the rest, best wings in the west and ladies with three nipples per breast, only at F. L. E. D. Hold up! Is that a misprint? It’s gotta be. Three nipples on a breast? Has to be a misprint. I hope it’s a misprint.

< The Cutting Edge Intro Music Plays >
 Coming to the ring, in their first ever outing as a tag team, first coming straight from getting his working visa, the high flying and as quick as...Lightening! And his partner, the man who has more bounce to the, well forget the ounce, it’s to the pound, it’s the man, the mountain, it’s....Thunder!

< Brooklyn Bomber’s Music Plays >
 And their opponents, hailing from the mean streets and coming from the meanest group out of Brooklyn, it’s Bruce, it’s Bubba, it’s the...Brooklyn Bombers!

< Match (Thunder & Lightening vs Bruce & Bubba) The BB’s give the crowd a one finger salute before the match starts. During the match, Lightening was tossed out while the BB’s double teamed Thunder until the ref broke it up. Lightening tripped Bruce and held his legs down as Thunder delivered his finisher “The Big Pancake” for the pin. > 

< Backstage >
Bruno and Butch walk out of Mikeal’s locker room. Mikeal is stuck, rear first, knocked out, inside a metal trash can. Bruno and Butch dust off their hands, proud of what they just did. Bruno says, “That’ll teach that sucka about crossing our path.”
Butch replies, “Yeah!”

Sad, sad, sad, how can two people or even like earlier four people, jump on one person? I mean I personally have taken on multiple people but that was different, it was always women and there was no fighting. Well, actually they did fight, over me, but that’s a long story, so let’s just get ready for our next match.

< Nathan “Unique” Taylor’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, a man who fits his name, this very pierced and very tattooed man who knows more moves than he has piercing and tattoos, which says a lot. It’s...Nathan “Unique” Taylor!

< Cashless Clayton’s Music Plays >
And his opponent, coming to the ring. A man you will not only see in the ring here at 
S.A.W. but probably will see him standing next to a freeway ramp near you, it’s the young and hungry, literally, it’s...Cashless Clayton!

< Match (Unique vs Cashless) An uneventful match, Unique wins with his finisher “Nutcracker” for the pin. > 

Give Cashless a hand for a valiant try, while you’re at it, give the man a sandwich but don’t give him any money, we need to keep him away from the Wild Turkey. And speaking of turkeys, coming to the ring, again. For the quote, Heavyweight Championship Match, end quote. Yeah, that’s right fans, boo them, I am. I’ve known Tex for a while and this is a new all-time low for even him. Well, I apologize fans, but we have to go to the ring and see what the fat cat has to say.

< In the Ring >
Tex, the tag team champions the Dollar Dollar Bills, Bobby Rich the Americans champion, and Rick Rich are standing in the ring amidst big boos and small objects. 
“Fans, please calm down and hear me out! I’m sorry about the two earlier tricks but I know you all came here to see a championship match and I’m about to give it to you!” 
The crowd continues to boo. 
“No, seriously fans, hear me out. I promised a championship match and I plan on delivering. After all, I am a hard working Texan, who believes in giving people a fair shot.” 
He then tears open the envelope. DDB’s are trying to hold back their laughter. “The first person in this championship match is, oh my! It can’t be! What a shock! It’s my other son Rick” 
The DDB’s burst out laughing.

Oh cut the crap already! Why didn’t he just name S.A.W., R.I.W., Rich Incorporated Wrestling?! This blows. Man, this really sucks. Hey, a joke. Blows, sucks, get it? Oh never mind.

< In The Ring >
As Tex tears open the next envelope, he can be heard saying, “Like I need to open it.” Tex can now barely contain his own laughter. “And his opponent is...”

< Unknown Music Plays >
Tex and Rich Inc, turn their collective attention to the ramp entrance, as a muscular bi-racial man emerges, with his long black hair in a ponytail. He’s sporting a goatee and a grin that could light up a pitch black room.

Hey, it’s the only man I know who gets more ladies than me, and that is a huge compliment. It’s DeMarco “The Stud” Jackson. Look at the fans go crazy! Maybe some know him from the other places he wrestled or maybe some want to know him just from looking at him now.

Still up by the ramp entrance, The Stud does some posing and flexing for the crowd. Once the crowd has quieted a little, the outraged Tex yells, “What are you doing here? I didn’t hire you, I didn’t hire anyone with more than three years of ring experience, well except Mikeal, but he doesn’t count. So, what in the hell are you doing here Stud?!”
The Stud replies, “Well, Tex, I’m here because you did hire me!” 
Tex is speechless as The Stud continues, “You see Tex, when you signed a contract with Michael’s Pro Wrestling School, so that their best graduates and most promising students would come wrestle for S.A.W., you signed me too.”
“No, no, no! They didn’t have you on their roster!” yells Tex.
“I know, but the contract, well, I have it right here with me.” The Stud pulls out a piece of paper from his black slack pants, “And I quote, The best wrestlers who are attending or have graduated from Michael’s Pro Wrestling School. You see Tex, I graduated from there almost a decade ago!” 
The crowd cheers and Tex is upset. Tex gains his composure, “That’s okay, that’s fine, but you’ll never see the belt and will be lucky if I give you any matches!”
“Tex, Tex, Tex, you’re so predictable. You see, I had a feeling you would try something like this little fiasco you’re doing, so I snuck this in.” The Stud pulls out another sheet of paper, “You see Tex, I stuck this in between the pages you signed and you didn’t even notice it. This here guarantees me a title shot, TONIGHT!”

Heck Yeah! Take that Tex! You go, Stud!

Tex is fuming, throws his white cowboy hat to the ground and stomps on it. “Fine! Damn you Stud! You want your shot? Well, you got your shot but let’s see how well you do after Rich Inc rips you a new one. Go get him boys!” 
As Rich Inc starts to exit the ring, The Stud says, “I might be handsome but I’m not dumb. I didn’t come alone.”

Never do I baby, never do I.

On cue, a tall and massive man, seven foot plus and easily 400 pounds, well built and intimidating looking, emerges from behind the same curtain that The Stud came through. He stands next to The Stud. The sight of this man makes members of Rich Inc stop before they even left the ring. The Stud says, “Tex, Rich Inc and fans, meet Crowd Control, my personal body guard.” 
Tex tells Rich Inc. to go get them and they don’t move. Tex stomps his hat again. “Fine, you got your damn match!” Tex gives The Stud a dirty look, while The Stud does more poses 

< Stud’s Music Plays >

< Commercial Break > 
An elderly lady is in her kitchen feeding several cats. “Here you go Ginger, Buttons, Mittens, Pixie, Donna, April, and Fluffy. Hurry up and eat before Buttercup, Max, Tina, Ginger Two, Louise, Thelma, Spot, Two Fo, Butterscotch, and Kimmie come in.” 
After she’s done putting the cat food in the dishes for her cats, she reaches into the cabinet to make herself dinner. She pulls out a box of tuna noodles mix and a can of cat food, which she has mistaken as tuna. Once she has the can open she realizes her mistake. “Darn, I opened this can of cat food by mistake.” 
She looks into her cabinet and to her dismay, she only finds cat food left. “What?! I thought this was all tuna. Why do these cans have to look like tuna cans? And what am I to do now?”

< The Image Freezes >
“Has this ever happened to you? Mistaken one can for another? Do you have more cats than you have friends? Well, we here at Corporal Mills are proud to present our newest product created just for you, Cat Food Helpa.”
“Be honest, haven’t you always been a little jealous of the flavors that your cats have to choose from, like Ocean’s Blend or Salmon and Perch, while you’ve been stuck with the bland taste of tuna? I know I have.”
A man in a nice suit walks into a supermarket aisle and grabs a box of Cat Food Helpa off the shelf. 

He says, “No wasted hours going between the cat food aisle and tuna aisle and back and forth. No more confusion between the cans, we helped eliminate that. Now you can worry about you and your cats at the same time and cooking a meal has never been so simple. Simply mix the cat food of your choice and the Cat Food Helpa in a pot, boil, then let the noodles set to suck up all the delicious flavors.” 
He then walks into the woman’s house and puts the box he grabbed of the shelf earlier, on her counter. “The easiest way to feed you and your cats, Cat Food Helpa, available at your local grocery.”

Wow! Was that cool or what? The Stud surely surprised Tex, and did you see the size of that man? I’m used to women saying that about me, but man was he huge. Wait, that’s something else they say about me too, ha! Well, I’ve been told we have interviews set up with the two competitors in our first ever championship match. So, let’s go backstage to Cynthia Cash with Rich Inc, go give head, I mean go ahead Cynthia.

< Backstage >
Cynthia is standing with Tex, who looks furious still. Rich Inc is also standing by.
“Jerk,” mumbles Cynthia before she starts the interview, “Anyways, so Rick.” She looks him over and smiles, “How do you feel about this Stud guy just showing up?” 
Rick gets ready to speak and Tex grabs the mic out of the front of Rick’s face. “I’ll tell you how he feels, the same way I do. How does The Stud have the nerve to show up here? To ruin our plans, everything was going perfect until he showed up. Well, if he thinks he’ll leave with the title, he has another thing coming.”
Cynthia is looking Rick up and down while Tex continues, “Stud, you are truly mistaken if you think you are leaving here with my boy’s belt. But I have good news, you will get a little R&R once my boy gets his hands on you. Thanks Cynthia.” 
He hands her the mic back. She looks at Rick and says, “Oh, you can just call me...Cyn.” Rick gives a slight smile and so do the DDB’s but Bobby and Tex don’t notice. They all head toward the ring.

Thanks for the interview, Rick. Anyways, hopefully in The Stud’s interview, we’ll get to hear The Stud talk. Take it away Stopsign.

< Backstage >
Stopsign is standing with The Stud and Crowd Control. “Thanks Wil, and I too hope we do get more out of you Stud, than Cynthia got out of Rick.”
The Stud replies, “I guarantee you’ll get more from me inside and outside the ring than from Rick. Once I saw the roster, I knew what Tex was up to. His plan was to screw the fans, which The Stud just can’t have, cause I am a plan wrecker and the only place his son might look good is at an ugly dog contest.”
“Pretty harsh words, huh Stud?”
“Well, let‘s make it simple. Whether it’s Show’s Over or Light’s Out, The Stud will win the bout.” 
The Stud and Crowd Control head toward the ring.

Now this is gonna be good. Rick is already in the ring with Tex and Rich Inc. at ringside.

< The Stud’s Music Plays >
And here comes The Stud. Men, hold your ladies, ladies hold your pearls. Listen to this crowd, it feels good to hear them cheer like this, especially after all the booing earlier. Crowd Control is walking around outside the ring and look at Rich Inc haul butt to get out of his way. Aw man, Rick had to attack The Stud during his poses.

< Match (Stud vs Rick) A pretty long hard fought match full of Rich Inc. interfering (tripping The Stud, distracting the ref, etc.) every chance they got, with CC trying to stop them. While attempting a running attack, the ref accidentally got caught in the middle, sending all three down. The wrestlers are groggy and the ref’s out. Tex, seizing the opportunity, sends Bobby into the ring with the Heavyweight title belt to hit The Stud, while the DDB’s double teamed CC on the outside. With Rick and The Stud staggering to their feet, Bobby waits to nail The Stud with the belt. As the two men gain their balance, Bobby suddenly turns and hits his brother with the belt instead, laying him out flat. Tex can’t believe his eyes and yells to Bobby, “What are you doing?!” Bobby flips Tex off, throws the belt down and exits towards backstage. The Stud then climbs to the top turnbuckle and lands on to Rick with his finisher “Show’s Over” for the 1, 2, 3.>

Stud wins! Stud wins! Stud wins! Tex was tricking everyone the whole show and he looks to be the one tricked in the end. And with his mouth open, shocked like that, he might get tricked in his end if he’s not careful. Were Bobby and The Stud working together? What is Tex gonna do now? What a sensational finish to our first ever The Cutting Edge, presented by Sensational American Wrestling, and this is Wil B. Creamin, see you Friday at The Final Cut, Love ya and God Bless.
S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 2 (The Final Cut)

Welcome fans of all ages, sexes, and persuasions. It’s me, Wil B. Creamin, the Caucasian persuasion who’s storming the nation. Welcoming you to S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling, as it proudly presents the premiere of its Friday night show, The Final Cut, live from the Okie-Doke Stadium here in Lambert, Oklahoma in Alfalfa County. If you missed our first ever show this past Tuesday, The Cutting Edge, you missed a sensational show. The owner and creator of S.A.W. Tex Rich, was having a field day handing out championship belts like free cheese to every member of his own personal clique, Rich Inc. That was until The Stud and Crowd Control stole the show and as Tex has ever since then been claiming, stole the Heavyweight title belt. Thanks to the help of Tex’s own son Bobby, nailing his own brother Rick Rich with the title belt. Talk about chaos and confusion. Before we get to the bottom of it all, let me announce the winners is this week’s drawing for all expense paid trip for two to our first ever pay-per-view, that’s name is still to be announced later. The winners are Nova Gyna and Harry Love.  Congrats, and I know you will enjoy the pay per view, and to all the fans in TV land, thank you for tuning in with us today.

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 
Tex and Rich Inc, now minus Bobby, make their way to the ring. Once inside the ring, the Dollar Dollar Bills do a few poses, displaying their tag team championship belts. Rick shows no emotion like usual as he stands next to Tex, who is still visibly hot about Tuesday’s show.
“First Bobby, son. I know you are here, security told me, but we have not talked since the show. You haven’t answered your phone or even come by for our nightly dinner. This is not like you.” Tex pauses for a moment in an attempt to contain his frustration but it fails, “What in the world were you thinking boy? Get your ass out here now! I can’t believe you...”

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 
Looks like today on Okra, that is her name right? Naw, I’m just kidding, I happen to like okra, especially in shrimp gumbo or any stew really, and from the look on Bobby’s face he’s been stewing about the events of last show just like Tex. Well, at first I was wondering if he was helping The Stud last week or just kinda slow and hit the wrong person. That was until he flew the bird at his dad. And now I’m convinced he’s not too stupid, he stopped at the top of the ramp instead of going down to the ring.

< Top of the Ring Ramp >
Bobby says, “What do you want, father?”
Tex, who’s still in the ring with the remaining members of Rich Inc. says, “What do I want? What I want to know is what were you thinking? Why did you ruin the plan? We had it all planned so perfect, son.”
Bobby fires back, “What was I thinking, father? What were you thinking when you planned on giving Rick the Heavyweight title and not me?!”
Tex’s look changes from anger to disbelief, “What? You cost us the world championship over that?”
“It’s not just that, father, but you can’t even answer that question can you? Can you?” Bobby is visibly the angrier of the two.
“Boy, we’ve discussed this all ready. No need to air this in public. I‘m sure the nice people here in Tulsa, Oklahoma don‘t want to hear all this.”
The crowd boos in response to Tex calling the city the wrong name.
“Father, this is Lambert, not Tulsa!”
“Well, whatever, close enough son.”
“Whatever is right, father! Whatever about me is what you mean! You just love that damn genetic drone more than your own son.”
Tex’s eyes tense up, “Boy, we can discuss all that later. Let’s sit down somewhere and talk about it.”
Bobby erupts, “No father! Not later but now! I’m tired of being second best. It has been that way since he first came. Throughout elementary and high school, at wrestling school, and now here! And the sad thing is he’s not even...”
Tex cuts him off, “Is that it? You think I don’t care about you as much as him? You cost us the belt and ruined our perfect plan simply out of jealousy? You think I don’t love you as much as Rick?”
Bobby stands silent.
“Is that what you think, son? Answer me!”
“Yes, father, that’s what I know.”
Tex shakes his head, “Boy, you done lost your mind. I will never love you less or more than Rick, you both are my boys, but I have an idea. You know the reason you didn’t get the heavyweight title is because you weren’t as far along as Rick, simply put. So, I’m gonna help bring you up to that level with something my daddy gave me and I shoulda given to you earlier but that’s my fault. Starting tonight, you will find out how much I love you and exactly what love is, tough love. Hope you have your gear here tonight. Now leave my ramp.”
Bobby flips his dad off then exits backstage.

What in the world was he gonna say before Tex cut him off? Rick’s not what? Man, this keeps getting more interesting. Like I said before, I’ve known this family for awhile and I know personally that they have some deep dark secrets but I didn’t know they had one involving Rick, what could it be? He never even talks. Well, it looks like Tex is not done yet, let’s go back to the ring.

“Now Stud, the final unsolved problem of the day is you, so get your butt out here. We got to talk about the last show in which you stole the belt from my son here. So get your carcass out here!

< Stud’s Music Plays > 

Wow, he always looks so sharp, even his body guard is dressed to impress, and while The Stud does his trademark poses for the fans, let me tell you about last night. You see, we got here as ready as can be, cause you know me, I’m down with O. P. P., especially in the place to be, with me, the Wil B. Anyways, they call down here the dirty south and man can, they get down and dirty, these four blonde girls in daisy dukes, right...

< On the Ring Ramp >
The Stud with Crowd Control standing next to him lifts his microphone, “I don’t know who whines more, you or your son Bobby. At least the good thing about Rick is he just accepts his beating like a good little boy should.”
Tex throws his white Stetson cowboy hat to the ground and Rick leans over the top ropes, motioning for The Stud to come on down.
Tex replies, “So, you think you’re funny, huh Stud? Well, you won’t be so funny once my son rips you a new one. We demand a rematch since you couldn’t win without help.”
The Stud laughs, “Without help? I can beat your son anytime or anyplace without help, but you see that’s exactly why I won’t give you a rematch because of all the help you tried to give Rick last time. I don’t feel like being tripped, kicked, punched, and everything else by your little Dork Inc.”
Tex paces back and forth in the ring contemplating. “Okay Stud, I got a deal. Since you’re so confident you can beat my son anytime, anywhere by yourself and I know you can’t.  So then, how about this? A no disqualification match in which no one can be at ringside from Rich Inc, including myself and...neither can Crowd Control! So my son can rip you a new one. If either Rich Inc. or Crowd Control comes to the ring, the match ends and the offending party is suspended indefinitely.”
The Stud ponders, then says, “I accept and once I’m done ripping your son a new one, the true title reign of The Stud will have begun, now hit my...”
Tex interrupts him, “Hold up with all the music and stuff. Now that that’s all settled, we seem to still have one little issue left, which you Stud brought to my attention last week. You see your little sneaky trick with the contracts and stuff was quite clever, I have to give it to you. But you see, I decided to go back and check out who does and who doesn’t have a contract. Stud, you’re right, you do...but Crowd Control doesn’t!’
“He doesn’t need one, he’s my bodyguard, not a wrestler,” explains The Stud.
“See Stud, that’s where you are wrong. You might be handsome, let you tell it, but you are still stupid. This is my show, my federation, my S.A.W. and all chaperons are to be okayed by me personally. He wasn’t approved by me and he was at ringside without my permission. But with me being a hard-working honest Texan business man, I believe that everyone deserves a fair shot. So, if Crowd Control can prove his worth in the ring, then I give him a contract but if he can’t win the match that I’m offering, he doesn't deserve to be here. So, do you think your oversized guerrilla can win just one match?”
Crowd Control whispers in The Stud’s ear, then The Stud shouts, “Hell, yes!”

The crowd erupts with cheers.

“Good,” smiles Tex like he just struck oil again, “Then it’s scheduled. You Stud vs Rick in a no DQ match as the main event and our first match of the night will be Crowd Control...in a gauntlet match, versus four opponents. If he loses one fall he’s gone! Now hit my music!” Tex and Rich Inc enjoy themselves in the ring as The Stud and Crowd Control stand speechless.

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 

Sorry about my mic cutting out in mid sentence. I guess that certain mics have priority over mine. Well anyways, can you believe it, Stud and Rick II already? On the Cutting Edge it was a great match last show. And now Crowd Control, not even a real wrestler, has to take on four people tonight. Kinda like the story I was gonna tell you earlier but that involved me taking on four people at once. I think Crowd Control can do it, I hope he can. Well, that brings us to our first commercial break and when we get back, we’ll have the gauntlet match, which I’ll explain in more detail. 

< Commercial Break >

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Polish Cheeseburger huh? Never had one, sounds good though. Well, welcome back to the show and just in case none of you have heard of a gauntlet match, in this type of match, one man, which is gonna be Crowd Control, must take on a certain amount of individuals, in this match it will be four, one at a time. The next wrestler comes out if Crowd Control wins, once Crowd Control loses or beats all the competitors the match is over. Well his opponents, in order will be Charles Choker, Cashless Clayton, The Flying Jalapeno, and Mikeal.

< Stud’s Music Plays > 
Well, coming to the ring by himself, from parts unknown, height unknown, and weight unknown, but he’s huge! The man who’s simply known as...Crowd Control. Wait, I just heard we have a disturbance backstage, let’s go.

< Backstage > 
The Brooklyn Bombers are standing by a table, which they apparently were playing cards at. Charles Choker, also standing by their table that is partially blocking the hallway asks, “What do you guys mean I can’t walk through here? I’m on the way to the ring for a match.”
Bruno yells, “I think he has a problem hearing. This is our hood, fool, and no one just walks through our hood. Let’s help clear out his ears!”
“Yeah,” yells the other three Brooklyn Bombers.
The four Bombers together beat him up and toss him down the hallway toward the ring.

What are those idiots doing to this show? First poor ol’ Mikeal last week, now the redneck. Now he’s supposed to fight Crowd Control.

< Charles Choker’s Music Plays > 
He’s still coming to the ring?! Now that’s a roughneck redneck there, but somebody has to do something about those idiots backstage before they seriously hurt somebody. They’re lucky I threw out my back last night, otherwise I...Ouch! That didn’t last long, one big choke slam, that almost sent Choker through the ring. Ouch!

< Backstage >
 Cashless Clayton runs into the same problem that Choker did and receives the same treatment.

Oh man, this is so messed up that it’s kinda funny, kinda like watching an arrogant skater fall right after boasting that he won’t fall. You laugh, but you know you shouldn’t.

< Cashless Clayton’s Music Plays > 

Well it looks like Cashless is gonna make it to the ring also but he looks out on his feet, like he’s...wow, he fainted in the ring! Crowd Control rolled him over and pinned him with his boot while still standing. I bet Tex is hot backstage right now, and right now I guess we are going backstage.

< Backstage >
The Flying Jalapeno gets a head full of steam and runs toward the table where the Brooklyn Bombers are playing cards. When the Bombers notice him he’s already leaped on the table and off the other side. “What the?!” exclaims a startled Bruno, “Man, this hood has gone to crap. Let’s go get something to eat.”
The other three in unison say, “Yeah!” They all walk off together.

< The Flying Jalapeno’s Music Plays > 

That was a smart move by the Flying Jalapeno, they never saw him coming. He must have been watching his monitor in back to try that maneuver. Well, coming to the ring, well actually running to the ring, a man from...wait? The match is over! Talk about being a little too excited, he ran to the ring and ran into a big boot that almost took his head off. He’s lucky there isn’t jalapeno juice everywhere. Well, another standing pin fall. Oh, that’s gotta hurt. That was the easiest three matches I ever saw. Well, there’s only one person left, Mikeal, and at least we now know he can make it to the ring in one piece now.

< Mikeal’s Music Plays > 

< Backstage- In Tex’s Office > 
Tex throws his cowboy hat to the ground and stomps it, “Who the hell were those guys?! Those idiots ruined everything!”
The DDB’S are trying not to laugh, when Big Tyme can’t resist the temptation, “You hired them right?”
Tex, not in a laughing mood, replies only with an evil glare at Big Tyme, which makes Big Shot start laughing, until he receives his share of the glare. 
Rick taps Tex on the shoulder and points at the monitor’s scene. 
Tex looks at the monitor, “You’re right! That is the third time they’ve played Mikeals’s music. Where is he?”
The DDB’s start laughing again at the disarray. Tex says, “I’m gonna get to the bottom of this and I’m gonna get this operation working the way it’s supposed to be.” 
He turns to the laughing DDB’s “And since I promised the fans that Crowd Control was gonna fight four matches tonight and with Mikeal as a no-show, I gotta have to use a fill-in.”
Big Tyme asks, “Who you gonna find dumb enough to face him?”
Big Shot adds, “Yeah, who’s the unfortunate soul?”
Tex smiles, “Unfortunate....souls.” Realizing that he’s referring to them, their smiles disappear.
“You got to be joking” says Big Shot.
“Do I look like I’m joking?” Tex glares at them.
The DDB’s look at each other, shake their heads and exit the room.

That’s what they get. Oh this keeps getting better. Crowd Control has to face the World Tag Team champions, and what happened to Mikeal? I know he’s here, I saw him backstage.

< Dollar Dollar Bill’s Music Plays >

Well coming to the ring, the tag team champions of the world, in their first ever match here at S.A.W., it’s Big Tyme Billy and Big Shot Bill, the Dollar Dollar Bills. This should be interesting, a 2 on 1 match. If Crowd Control wins, he’s in, if he lose, he’ll sing the blues.

< Match - DDB’s vs Crowd Control- 4th match out of 4 in the gauntlet match. Very short match, if it could even be called that. The DDB’s decided to use the “divide and conquer” technique, by sliding in the ring on opposite sides, only to be tossed out over the opposite top rope in which they came in. They regroup and decide to try it again on the count of three. Big Tyme slides in on three but Big Shot doesn’t. He’s outside laughing at tricking his partner, who received a royal thumping. While Big Shot is outside the ring laughing with his back to the ring he’s grabbed by his hair by Crowd Control and pulled in, to receive his share of the thumping. Both the DDB’s roll out of the ring and head up the ramp, eventually losing by count out. >

< Rockstar’s Music Plays >

< On The Ramp >
As the DDB’s were heading up the ramp, they stopped midway when the Rockstar’s music came on, and the Rockstars came out.
Far Out Phil says, “So you two dudes wanna claim a move that's yours but seem to be too scared to even wrestle, dude, what’s up with that?”
Rad Brad adds, “Yeah dude, what’s up with that?”
The DDB’s look at each other and laugh. Big Shot says, “Dude? What’s up dude?” 
Big Tyme adds mockingly, “Yeah, like whatever is the problem dude?”
Phil says, “The problem is you two dudes are straight cowards. I mean look at you two.”
Brad says, “Yeah dude, you two can try to make fun of us here but we will make fun of you two in the ring any day, dude.”
Big Shot fires back, “You’re challenging us? You two buttrockers think you can beat the champs?!”
Big Tyme adds, “Well then you got another thing coming to ya, dude! You two don’t even deserve a title shot.”

Brad says, “We don’t deserve a shot? You two dingle berries only have belts cause they were handed to you.”
Phil says comically, “But dude, if you two are scared we understand, we just seen how you handle yourselves in the ring.”
The crowd erupts with laughter and the DDB’s are outraged.
Big Tyme says, “Okay, if you want a shot at our titles you got to prove yourselves, win your match against Thunder and Lightning and you’ll get your title shot.” Big Shot shakes his head in agreement.
Brad agrees, “Deal.”
Phil yells, “Then let’s rock!” They exit backstage.

< Rockstar’s Music Plays >

< Backstage >
Tex walks into Mikeal’s dressing room, finding hardily a sign that he was there. The only proof is the monitor is on, with a note attached to it playing the show and some wrestling gear scattered around. Tex reads the note, “Sorry. Family emergency. Had to run.” signed Mikeal. 
Tex says, “What? Family emergency? He should have told me. I would have let him use a company limo.” As Tex turns to leave the room, he notices a window opened with what appears to be tied together towels and clothing. Tex inspects it and sees it’s a makeshift rope tied to the heater. He looks out the second story window, then back to the monitor. “Why that yellow-belly coward!” yells Tex.

Mikeal ran? That’s so funny. Reminds me of some B-rated black and white comedy like the Stooges. He tied together clothes just to escape the Brooklyn Bombers? Well I can’t really call him a coward cause I’ve jumped out of my share of bedroom windows to avoid angry men, so I feel for him but how is he gonna explain this to our boss Tex, who apparently has put two and two together. Poor ol’ Mikeal. Also, what about Crowd Control? Tex just lost his chance to get rid of one of his biggest and I mean literally biggest problems. I love this show!
< Backstage >
Two very curiously flamboyant looking men in street clothes are in a back dressing room. One is pacing, the other is seated. The pacing one says, “Greg, this really sucks. Here we are again and still no match. I’m not feeling very gay right now.”
Greg replies, “Francis, don’t let anyone steal your sunshine, at least we are here and we will get our chance soon, I can just feel it.”
Francis says, “Yeah, maybe you’re right. I guess I can feel gay about getting a  chance.”
A stagehand walks in but suddenly stops as if he was caught off guard by something. He asks, “Flaming Desire?....Oh I get it! You two, Flaming Desire huh?”
“Yes, what can we do for you?”
The stagehand reluctantly reaches toward them and hands them a note, “Here.”
Greg takes it and reads it as the stagehand hurriedly exits the room. “Now I’m not feeling very gay. How do we have a match in five minutes? We weren’t even on the card!”
Francis replies, “Don’t be mad, Greg. This is our chance. A chance to show the boss our assets.”
Greg says, “Yeah, I know but all our gear is out in the Miata.”
Francis answers frantically, “Well, let’s move our butts then.” They hurry out of the room.

O...K...I think I've seen everything now. Whoa! Talk about “Special” men. Well, I’m still excited to be here with you fans but still I’m not gay, to be here, let me tell ya. Whoa!

< Thunder and Lightning's Music Plays > 

Well, you know what that means, it’s time for a match! Coming to the ring, weighing less than a grilled stuffed burrito, the high-flying Spanish lucador ...Lightning! And his tag team partner, a man who can eat easily a dozen grilled stuffed burritos. First, you saw the lightning, now you'll hear the...Thunder.

< Rockstar’s Music Plays > And their opponents, the tag team that stills have a poster of Cyndi Flauper in their dressing room, it’s Rad Brad and Far Out Phil...the Rockstars!

< Match- Rockstars vs Thunder / Lightning- A good match, minus the language barrier between the team of T & L which led them to losing momentum several times. The Dollar Dollar Bills came to the ring and tried to interfere and cost the Rockstars the match but a reversal by Rad Brad to Lightning allows him to avoid a chair shot from Big Shot, while Big Tyme had distracted the referee. The Rockstars pick up the easy 1, 2, 3, over the knocked out Lightning. The Rockstars roll out of the ring and exit before the DDB’s get a chance to attack them. >

The DDB’s just helped the Rockstars win and you can tell they aren’t too happy about it.  As Thunder and Lightning make their way up the ramp, you can tell Lightning is trying to apologize by his body language but I don’t think Thunder cares right now. So now the Rockstars will get a shot at the Dollar Dollar Bills tag team titles. So, finally we are gonna get to see what the DDB’S got. All this exciting and sensational entertainment is being brought to you by Samurai Contraceptives and their new titanium Buckler, the form fitting ultra thin titanium diaphragm. Remember Samurai is the company that cares about your sword.

< The Final Cut’s Intro Music Plays > 

Well it’s time for another tag team match. First coming to the ring, the odd, the weird, the deranged, it’s...Eli the Strange, and his partner, sporting a mini afro and business dress suit, a man you might have seen in your local public bathroom handing out mints it’s...Mr. Benskin.

< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays > 

Well at least they have interesting music. Coming to the ring is the team that I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole or let touch me with any pole. It’s the team of Francis A. Gaines and Gregory A. Young...Flaming Desire.

< Match - Flaming Desire vs Benskin / Eli - FD outclasses this team to the point it was almost ridiculous. FD easily wins the match with their finisher, “Bottoms Up “ > 

Wow that was a one sided match, Mr. Benskin and Eli the Strange got their butts handed to them. Yuck! Bad visual, very bad visual. I meant but with one “ T”.  You can’t take nothing away from Flaming Desire, they performed solidly. If their appearance seems...questionable, their skills aren’t or maybe Benskin and Eli were just that bad, the jury is out. Speaking of being out. Our own Simon Tucker is out back with Tex Rich, the owner and creator of S.A.W. for an interview. Take it away Simon.

< Backstage >
Tex and Rich Inc are standing by apparently waiting on someone and Simon is nowhere to be found.
“Where the heck is he?!” asks a frustrated Tex.
“Probably just...hanging out, somewhere,” says Big Shot.
“Or on the can,” adds Big Tyme. The DDB’s laughter is interrupted momentarily when Simon hastily shows up for the interview, but their laughter starts right back up when Simon drops all his papers and the mic.
Tex yells at Simon as he’s picking up his notes, “Where the heck were you? Don’t you understand that this show is live?!”
“Yes, Rex I know but...” Simon started to reply until he was cut off by Tex. The DDB’s are trying to control their laughter. “What did you just call me, boy?!” says Tex with veins tensed in his neck.
Simon gulps, then nervously look up at Tex, “Rex?”
The DDB’s burst out laughing, even Rick cracks a smile. “Boy, my name is Tex! T E X Tex! Not Rex! I’m not named after a damn dog! Boy, I’m the one who signs your checks. Matter of fact, I’m too mad to conduct an interview now. Get out of my sight before I fire you!”
Simon scurries off, as the DDB’s fold over laughing until Tex looks at them furiously, even Rick stops smiling.

Rex? Come on Simon, in all my years of television and radio I never seen an interviewer show up late for a live interview or blow the interview so badly by saying the wrong name.  I can understand Tex’s anger. I’ve called a few lovely ladies the wrong name before and man, talk about feeling a woman’s wrath. Oh well, when it comes to being with the real Wil ‘the Thrill’ they usually get over it pretty fast.

< Boogie Down Brown’s Music Plays > 

Well anyways, back to the in-ring action. Making his way to the ring the man with more soul than a cemetery it’s...James “Boogie Down “ Brown!

< Nathan “Unique” Taylor’s Music Plays > 

His opponent in this singles match, the man with more tattoos than all the inmates of your local prison, it’s...Nathan “Unique” Taylor! This match could be call the “Hooked on Phonics” Brawl with the way these two talk.

< Match- BDB vs Unique- BDB’s ring experience allows him to control the majority of the match, but Unique’s impressive knowledge of wrestling holds allows him to keep BDB from gaining too much momentum at any one time. After a missed missile drop kick attempt by Unique, BDB locks on his submission finisher “Boogie Down Nights “ and had Unique fading fast until the Brooklyn Bombers came down to the ring and beat both the competitors while mainly focusing on BDB. For the second show in a row, BDB is left unconscious by Bruno’s finisher “The Decapitator”. The match was called a no contest. >

I thought they left to get something to eat? Damn you arena vendors! Naw, just joking, we need you beer vendors and you guys who stock the condom machines in the bathroom. Thank you guys. Hey, what’s up with the Brooklyn Bombers and why do they have such a problem with Boogie Down Brown? Actually, they seem to have a problem with everyone. Well, we are now heading backstage with an interview with Cynthia Cash and Rage, take it in the...oops I mean take it away Cynthia.

< Backstage >
Cyn, standing by herself, says, “Wil, you’re such a jerk! Straight loser with a capital L. Well, anyways, it appears that Rage is not showing up for his interview and I don’t have a clue if he’s even in the building. We do know that he’s supposed to wrestle in a match against Raoul after the commercial break but he’s nowhere to be found.”
Raoul, who was heading down the hall, overheard his name and heads over toward Cynthia. “Hey my lady, what are you doing standing here looking so lonely.”
“Well, I was supposed to interview Rage but he’s a no-show.”
Raoul opens his wrestle robe, “Of course he’s a no-show. I’m his opponent and come on beautiful, just look at me.”

He points at his well-defined upper body, “Men fear me and ladies cheer me. I’m the sexiest man in S.A.W. “
Cyn says, “Well, I beg to differ. Rick is very hot.”
“First my lady, you don’t ever have to beg Raoul. Raoul the Latin Lover loves to please. Second, I’m easily the sexiest “R “ here and after you see me in action, you’ll want to see me in...action.” He gives her a suggestive wink and heads to the ring.

Yuck! Cynthia a lady? Please! The Kennedy Compound has her number on speed dial, how could anyone want action from her? If you get her action, you’ll end up with a ‘re-action’ that even doctors can’t explain. Yuck!  Anyways, time for a commercial break and when we get back hopefully we’ll have a chance to see Rage and Raoul in a match. Man, first a no-show interviewer, than a no-show interviewee, crazy.

< Commercial Break>
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Welcome back to Friday night’s Final Cut and we are gonna get right back into action. If I had a nickel for every time I said that. Oh well, time for a match.

< Raoul’s Music Plays > 

Well coming to the ring, the self-proclaimed Latin Lover and self-proclaimed sexiest man in S.A.W.  not counting me, of course, it’s...Raoul!

< Rage’s Music Plays > 

Wow, I like that music but all of S.A.W.’s music is good. Raoul’s opponent, the man with the temper, the man with no regard for interviews...and apparently for matches either, as he hasn’t came from backstage yet. Looks like Raoul might have been right and look at the grin on Raoul’s face. Wait, Rage just came from the crowd and Raoul doesn’t see him.

< Match- Rage vs Raoul - Ten seconds of action, Rage slides in from behind Raoul, who was looking up at the ramp entrance. Rage hooks the unexpecting Raoul from behind in Rage’s finisher, “Migraine,” Raoul almost kicks out at three but doesn’t. Rage wins, rolls out and heads back through the crowd.

Crazy, crazy, crazy. Raoul didn’t even see him coming, that will probably be the quickest singles match in S.A.W. history forever! Raoul is upset. I don’t think any woman, after seeing him in action, will want some of his action. Come on man, 10 seconds? Nope, no ladies. Now that’s embarrassing and the crowd is getting on him, that doesn’t make matters better. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

< Backstage >
A tall, slender woman is using the payphone in a backstage hallway, “Yeah girl you know Gaby’s got the gossip. Uh huh, yup, but hold up, let me tell you the scoop girlfriend. First, you know that guy who thinks he’s God gift to women. Uh huh, yeah him Mr. Quickie. Yeah. his real name is Paul not Raoul and he’s not even Latin, he’s from Jersey. For reals! Yup and remember how those two um...how do I put it? Yeah that’s a good way to put it, well at least they seem that way. Well anyways, remember how they were complaining about not getting a match? Well, girlfriend, there’s another tag team backstage crying because they still haven’t been on the show yet. Yes girl I said crying. For reals!  Lastly, I heard that in two weeks, the lady wrestlers will debut. Yeah. Uh huh, I know more trashy, skimpy dressed women parading as wrestlers. Uh huh. Well anyways girlfriend, did you catch C. O. P. S. last night?

< Backstage > 

Tex is sitting in his office by himself when a lady walks in. She has her brunette hair in two sided ponytails and is dressed in street clothes.
“Tex, can I bother you for a second?” she asks.
“Yes darling and by the way what’s your name?” asks Tex.
“I’m Nat “The Thriller” Mc Miller and when do we women get to show our stuff?”
Tex smiles, “Well, you ladies get to show your stuff next week on the Final Cut but we still need you to travel with us to help promote the show.”
“Understood, thank you, boss,” says Nat. She walks out of his office.
“Boss? Polite girl,” says Tex.

Lady wrestlers? Hmm...I don’t know, I have mixed feelings about lady wrestlers. I mean, I don’t mind wrestling around with ladies myself but from my experiences, most lady wrestlers can’t wrestle at the same level as most men, so they sometimes seem to bring down the show’s atmosphere. Well, unless they are extreme eye candy, then they might just lift up, the attention for our male viewers. I know we have female viewers too but if their “attention” could be “lifted up” too, well that would scare me.

< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays > 

He already has his own music, wow. Well it’s time for Bobby’s tough love match. I wonder who his opponent is. Well anyways, coming to the ring, the disgruntled son of the owner of the company. It’s the man that Tex called under-developed, it’s...Bobby Rich!

< KaBoom’s Music Plays >

Whoa! That some trippy sounding music. Oh no! It is the man who has probably killed somebody. It’s the man who was suspended and sent home at the first show for hospitalizing a fellow wrestler for using his towel. It will be a truly tough match but don’t know about the love part, well it’s...KaBoom!

< Match- KaBoom vs Bobby - A very brutal match. KaBoom rarely used holds or moves, instead he used strikes, mainly punches and kicks. Bobby managed to gain the upper hand for a little and after getting a close three count on KaBoom, KaBoom snapped. After leveling Bobby with a clothesline, he rolled out of the ring and grabs a chair which he pummeled Bobby with giving Bobby the DQ victory. With Bobby laid out, KaBoom with wasn’t satisfied. KaBoom set up a table then put Bobby through it. Next he climbed on top of the helpless Bobby and punched away until he drew blood and some officials came down and finally got him off of Bobby. > 

I heard about how temperamental this man was, but I couldn’t even begin to image he’s this far gone. No wonder he hasn’t won a match, ever! Always losing by pin fall or DQ. Why would anyone hire a guy like this? Why would anyone hire the Brooklyn Bombers either? Obviously, Tex didn’t do a good job of checking out the psych sheets on these guys. I can’t believe that Tex would willingly assign his son against a man of pure violent rage like him, but he did say tough love. Well, it’s time for the main event, now that they have started to cart Bobby off.

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 

Well coming to the ring, minus Rich Inc, for this Heavyweight Championship bout. Tex’s other son, the lucky one not to feel his father’s wrath, it’s the quiet assassin...Rick Rich!


< The Stud’s Music Plays >

His opponent, making his way to the ring, also solo for this no DQ match, it’s the charming and handsome, can’t believe I just said that, well it’s the Heavyweight Champion of the world, it’s...DeMarco “The Stud“ Jackson.

< Match - Stud vs Rick - Another good quality match, pretty much an evenly matched bout until KaBoom runs down, climbs into the ring, and starts to beat up The Stud. The referee looks as if he was gonna call for the bell but remembered it’s a no DQ match. The double team continues until all the lights in the whole arena cut off. When they come back on, there are four black-cloaked individuals standing outside the ring at each ring post. Rick and the ref noticed but KaBoom continues to pound The Stud who’s draped in the corner. All the lights cut back off and when they come back on, the four mysterious people are gone and KaBoom is laid out cold outside the ring. Rick’s staggering, The Stud is collecting himself while the ref is looking around trying to figure out what is going on. 
The Stud gathers himself and nails the stunned Rick with his finisher “Light’s Out” superkick and gets the pin fall. > 

The Stud does it again! The Stud wins! The Stud wins! Wow and who were those four people?! Where they come from and where’d they go?! What is Tex thinking about all this? I can’t tell you any of these answers but I can tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking this is sensational! Well, see you Tuesday, as S.A.W.  Sensational American Wrestling presents the Cutting Edge, hopefully we’ll have the answers to those questions and more. We’re out.
S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 3 (The Cutting Edge)

Welcome ladies who drive me crazy and gents who need mints and all the in between. Also a warm welcome to all the fans tuning in around the world to S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling, as we present Tuesday Night’s “The Cutting Edge,” live from Wherewebeat Stadium, here in Lost Springs, Arizona in Converse County. We are sold out and at full capacity for another sensational show. At the last “Final Cut” mysterious men were looming and tonight, Tex the owner, is fuming. The owner’s biggest two obstacles are still standing tall thanks to the interference not once, but twice by four individuals. The first group was the Brooklyn Bombers led by Bruno and the second group was cloaked, concealing their identities, so who knows? Well, we are going to the ring with the creator of S.A.W. Tex Rich and his clique Rich Inc and hopefully we will get some answers.

< In the Ring > 
The Dollar Dollar Bills are both standing near the back of the ring with the tag team belts on their shoulders, while Rick and Tex stand near the front. Tex says, “Well fans, here we are again and again someone has screwed my son Rick out of his championship belt.”
The DDB’s come up and pat Rick sympathetically on his back, as a gesture of support. 
Tex continues, “And also to top off things, my perfect plan to rid myself of The Stud’s bodyguard Crowd Control was ruined by four idiots backstage.  In all the craziness, it dawned on me, four mysteriously cloaked people cost my son the title match against The Stud. We have two related matches and two interferences. Well the last time I added two plus two I got four, so Brooklyn Bombers get your four collective butts out here now!”

< Brooklyn Bombers Music Plays > 

The Brooklyn Bombers all come out together and stop at the top of the entrance ramp. Bruno yells into his mic, “I got your idiots dangling right here, punk!” as he grabs his crotch.
Tex says, “Yeah real funny, very funny. What the hell were you Bombers doing last show? Jumping people and interfering with my matches?”
Bruno says, “Any punks that diss us get beat down!” The other three Bombers say in unison, “Yeah!”
Tex is confused. “Dissed you? Who did what? Oh never mind. I think I know what you’re trying to imply. Well...punks! We are gonna diss you guys tonight. I know you guys were behind the main event also.”
Bruno is hot, “Punks?! We’ll show you punks!” The Bombers head toward the ring.
Tex puts out his palm in a halt position, “Hold your horses boys, you’ll get your chance in tonight’s main event.”

The Bombers stop mid-ramp, and Tex continues, “Tonight, in a four on four elimination match it will be you Brooklyn Bombers versus the Dollar Dollar Bills, Rick Rich and...me! So that way I can beat the truth out of you personally and diss you punk!”
Anger flares in Bruno’s eyes, “Fine! But that word is gonna cost the whole Rich Inc a whole lot of pain. We’ll see who’s the punk!” The other Bomber’s say in unison, “Yeah!” They head backstage.
In the ring, Rick and the DDB’s can be heard asking Tex, “What are you thinking?” “Entering into a match?”, “...and with those guys?”
To all this Tex replies, “Don’t worry. I’m capable of holding my own.”

Wow! Either the owner has gone nuts or has brass balls. Hey wait. I just told a joke; nuts, balls, get it? Oh never mind. I still can’t believe that the owner challenged the Brooklyn Bombers and even called them punks in the process. I heard those guys are really from prison and from what I’ve heard that is not a word you’re supposed to call those type of guys. Man, those guys seem tough, and was it my imagination or did Tex pretty much accuse them of being the other four people last show who interfered with his son’s match? Wow, crazy.

Anyways, this showing of the Cutting Edge is being brought to you on the Fred Dumper Network, who is proud to bring to you this fall, a show that has all the critics raving.
Skipping Stone says “It’s a must, have to see, most definitely, not gonna wanna miss, stand by itself, best show of the year type of show”. Watch this fall as young Chris and Max fall in love in the windy city. It’s a show for every man, woman, boy, and girl or any combination. It’s ‘Hermaphrodite Love,’ coming this fall.
Now that the commercial plug is over. Yuck! That’s all I got to say about that. Anyways, in the ring it appears that Tex and Rick are leaving the ring area but the Dollar Dollar Bills are still there. Let’s go to the ring.

< In the Ring >
The Dollar Dollar Bills are still standing in the ring with their belts on their shoulders and microphones in their hands. Big Tyme Billy says, “Hey Rockstars, congrats on winning your match last week.”
Big Shot adds, “Yeah, you two have earned yourselves a title shot at these here belts.” Both of the Bills hold up their tag team title belts for the fans to see.
Big Tyme says, “Yeah, and we know that you aren’t here today, otherwise we would have told you in person....”
Big Shot adds, “...that we didn’t say when, you’ll get your title shot.” They both burst out laughing, as the crowd boos.

Oh that is straight wrong. Of course they say this when the Rockstars aren’t here. Otherwise we would have another brawl between them. Can you believe this? The DDB’s still have not had a tag team match but they are the tag team champs? Even tonight, we won’t get to see them wrestle as a tag team because they are in the four versus four main event. I wonder if they can even wrestle. I heard they could but I also heard that they like to pull pranks and crack jokes trying to be funny.

< Backstage- Tex’s Office >
Tex is on the phone. Rick is watching the monitor. Tex asks, “Are you sure? One of our wrestlers? Him? Are you sure? Hmmmm...Didn’t know that. Thanks for the info. Oh pardon me? Yes, that was very... I know very cowardly but he’ll get his coming next week.  I do need to get going. By the way what’s your...hello?”
The person hung up. Tex looks at Rick, “That was an interesting call and they didn’t leave their name. Hmmm...”
Rick points at the monitor, grinning. Tex sits down in his luxury office chair, “Yeah, this should be good watching.” Tex smiles.

I don’t know what all that was about but I do know why they are grinning ear to ear. This is another one of Tex’s tough love matches for his son.

< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays > 

Coming to the ring for this non-title match. The marked man, the owner’s son, the Americas champion...Bobby Rich!

< Thunders Music Plays >

His opponent, coming to the ring, weighing easily twice the amount of his opponent. A man that Lovies ‘all you can eat’ restaurant banned for life. The man who every time he steps you hear...Thunder!

< Match - Thunder vs Bobby Rich - Non -Title Match - Despite the huge size disadvantage, Bobby doesn’t back down, which is his downfall. Almost every move attempt is hindered by Thunder’s massive size and Bobby’s blows seem to have little effect. After an attempt to fling Thunder from one turnbuckle to the opposite one is reversed, Bobby is body splashed against the original turnbuckle. Thunder then bounced off the ropes and lands a big splash unto the downed Bobby for the easy 1, 2, 3, victory. Bobby was spitting out blood as he exited the ring, holding his ribs.

He probably has internal bleeding and I bet anything that Tex and Rich Inc are probably in the back laughing up a storm at this. That match was so wrong. I feel bad for Bobby, he had no business fighting a man twice his size. No one has any business with anyone twice their size. Well maybe if she’s 125 and he’s 250 maybe, oh well, we have an interview backstage with our own Mike Stopsign and Flaming Desire. Good luck.

< Backstage >
Mike Stopsign is standing alone, “Good luck? What did he mean by...” his words are cut short as he notices the flamboyant duo approaching, “...whoa! Are you two ‘Flaming Desire’?”
“Yesss,” says Greg.
“We are so gay to finally get our first interview here at S.A.W.,” says Francis.
“What?!” asks Mike.
“We are gay,” says Greg.
“Yes, excited,” explains Frances.
“Oh. I think I get it. Well, we know you two are gay...to be here. So what do you think about the tag team scene here at S.A.W.?’’ 
“We are getting tired of being here and just sitting around,” says Greg.
“Yeah, it’s not like it’s a weekend wiener roast or something where you do a lot of sitting,” says Frances.
“What?” exclaimed Stopsign.
“A barbeque, you know? Like where you just sit around and eat,” says Frances.
“He’s so silly,”  taunts Greg.
Both Greg and Frances laugh at Mike’s lack of understanding. 
“Boy that felt good to laugh but seriously, we are not going to take this just laying around and being gay!” says Greg angrily.
“Yeah!” emphasizes Frances.
Flaming Desire walks off.
“O...Kay...back to you, Wil.”

Okay is right. Can you...oh never mind, I guess it takes all kinds and that’s one thing we definitely have here at S.A.W., all kinds. I’m still wondering who those four mysterious individuals were. I don't think it was the Brooklyn Bombers either. Those people under the cloaks stood outside the ring and something about them gave off a bad vibe. Remember, I was down there at ringside and they creeped me out, while the Bombers are just creeps. Well, it’s time for a commercial break.

< Commercial Break > 
A short man in a bright orange fast food uniform with matching hat, stands behind a counter. On his hat is a picture of a hip looking chicken wearing dark shades.

“Hi, I’m Larry, owner of LC’s Chicken Shack. I’m standing here to tell you about the greatest chicken shack on the planet. Why is it the greatest? Where else can you get chicken on a stick? I’m talking about our patented chick-dog.”

“Our popcorn chicken comes in your choice of white or dark meat. Also, while other places offer just barbecue chicken, we offer four distinctive flavors of barbecue chicken. Mesquite, Cajun, Italian Garlic, and my own ‘LC’s Secret Sauce’ with over twenty different herbs and spices. Yeah, I kicked your butt, colonel!”

 “And we are the only fast food place in the US that sells carry-out alcoholic beverages.  So, if it’s late night Friday and you’re out rollin, stop by and get some chicken and brew.”

“People have always asked me ‘Larry, why the chicken cross the road?’ well I tell them that if you tasted how good our chicken is, you would too.”

“Larry Cole’s Chicken Shack, chicken so good it would turn a chicken into a cannibal.”

I was gonna tell my choke the chicken joke but then I remember I am on air live and believe it or not, I do have some morals. Not many, but a few. Now that was one of our sponsors that I can say I actually heard of and to tell the truth, the chicken there is pretty good. I went to one in this, ‘little hiccup and you’ll miss it’ towns named Aberdeen and the chicken was great and I didn’t even choke on it...I had a lady with me, so no need. Ha! Hey, I guess something happened backstage during the commercial break and we’re going to roll that footage.

< Pre-Recorded, Backstage >
Rage, in street clothes, enters the building with his sports duffle bag strapped over his shoulder. Raoul, who was sitting on a folding chair off to the side, folds the chair shut then runs up and nails Rage dead-smack in his back dropping him to the ground. Raoul hits him a few more times with the chair in his back. Rage manages to get to one knee, Raoul allowed this as he stalked the disoriented Rage and nails him in the face, laying him out cold.
Raoul said as he stepped over top of an out-cold Rage, “Rage, huh? Yeah, I showed you rage! You wanna sneak up and attack S.A.W.’s sexiest man? You’ll get the same abuse that an angry boyfriend get, chump.” He stands over Rage and flexes his muscle through his skin-tight tee-shirt, posing for an imaginary camera. Raoul steps all the way over Rage, wiping his feet on Rage in the process.

Well, I knew that might happen, Raoul is a very vain person, much more than people even accuse me of, but I don’t know if he knows what he just got himself into with this Rage character.  He’s an energy-type wrestler. I was even surprised to see him in street clothes. Looks like we might have another feud brewing.  Also Raoul, S.A.W. ’s self-proclaimed sexiest man, might have another problem one day with the fan’s sexiest man, voted upon last week during an in-arena ballot, The Stud. For all you ladies, I just found out we will see The Stud here tonight and in action, in a non-title match versus the person who tried last show to cost The Stud the title belt. It’s gonna be The Stud vs KaBoom. Even later tonight ladies, if you’re one of the lucky few, you can see me in action, if you know what I mean.

< Varsity All Star’s Music Plays > 

Flaming Desire complained that they weren’t getting a fair shot.  Well, here is a team who has been here the first two shows, but are only debuting tonight. Coming to the ring with their triplet sister Carrie, yes, I said triplet. The team that will try to give their opponents Varsity Blues, it’s the...Varsity All Stars!

< Cutting Edge’s Music Plays > 

And their opponents in this tag team match, first hailing from a town so small, that the road map had to call directions to get there, the self-proclaimed hick...Charles Choker! And his partner, he’s poor and for a sandwich he’ll do some chores, it’s the broke but not broken...Cashless Clayton!

< Match- Varsity all Stars vs Cashless Clayton / Charles Choker - Varsity All Stars worked very effectively as a team without any help from their sister Carrie, dressed in a revealing cheerleader outfit. Brad and Chad Keeble flow perfectly as a team and gained the easy pin fall victory after nailing Choker with their double team finisher 
‘Varsity Blues.’

< Backstage >
Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor is sitting down watching the show on a monitor in the wrestlers’ locker room. Tex walks in, “Hey, how you doing? Nathan right?”
I prefer Unique, sir,” he replies.
“Okay, Unique. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? Of course you don’t. First of all, son, where were you born?”
“The Hampton’s over in the east, heard of them?” replies the very tattooed man.
“Uh...yes, were you raised there too?” asks a puzzled Tex.
“Yes sir,” Unique replies.
“Hmmm...were you ever in a plane crash,” asked Tex.
“No sir,” replied Unique.
Tex’s confusion is visibly evident, “Well, were you ever involved in politics?”
The man with multiple piercings replies, “I’ve done my fair share of barnstorming and do kinda miss my share of bandying. I was a Tory or what you might call a mossback.”
Tex looks even more confused.
Unique simplifies, “Yes, I was, but it was in a very small county.” 
“Oh, I see. Well anyways, son, I feel you were robbed by those four idiots, the Brooklyn Bombers, of your chance to beat Boogie Down Brown, so I’m gonna give you a title shot tonight vs my son Bobby.”
“Hasn’t he already participated tonight? “
“Yeah, but oh well, he shouldn’t have gotten on my bad side,” Tex grins.
Ecstatic, Unique stands up and reaches to shake Tex’s hand, “A match against your whelp? You find no murmur here, you’re philanthropic.”
“Huh?” says a perplexed Tex.
“Thank you!” says Unique as they shake hands.
“Okay...sure.”

I can never understand what he’s saying and from the looks of it, neither can Tex or anyone else. Man, what planet is he from? Anyways, it’s time for an interview with The Stud, our world champ, conducted by Simon Tucker. Take it away, Simon.

< Backstage >
Simon Tucker is standing by with The Stud and his bodyguard Crowd Control.
“Hello, I’m Simon and I’m standing here with S.A.W.’s heavyweight champion, the Dud and tonight...” says Simon until he’s interrupted by The Stud.
“What did you just call me?!” demands The Stud, as he and Crowd Control lean in on Simon.
Stumbling over his words and not seemingly sure if he called him Stud or what. He finally gathers himself, “Um...I said Stud?”
“No, you didn’t and you couldn’t even be man enough to fess up! This interview is over!” declares The Stud. He and his bodyguard leave and all Simon can say,” Bu, bu, bu, but.”

Is he just slow or what? How did he ever get a job here in the first place? Snuck in a contract too? Ha! That is only the second interview he’s done and both times he called the person being interviewed the wrong name. First, it was the owner and now the champ. Smooth move. Of course, I’ve miscalled women the wrong name before but never my boss and ain’t no woman the boss of Wil B. Creamin. Well okay, there is one because I got to give her her props. Well anyways, after this commercial break, we’ll come back for the match between The Stud and Kaboom. I bet The Stud is still fuming about what happened the last show, in which KaBoom interfered and add to that the Simon interview.   And as for KaBoom, well, he’s always fuming, so like it matters. 

< Commercial Break >
A light-skinned black male, wearing a dark brown three piece polyester suit with matching hat completed with a feather, is standing in front of a gold color Cadillac convertible El Dorado styled with Trues and Vogues.

“Hey baby baby, this is Silky Smooth and I’m from ‘Pimps R Us’. We have the ladies that are the top of the line like Mercedes. That’s right the hoes who gives blows like who knows.”

“Our last promotion, 31 flavors, which featured 31 nationalities of unique freaks for your discreet and meet, was off the scale like no other tale. So we decided to join up for a collaboration with Motel 69 for this month’s special, two hoes, two forties, two hours only two ninety-nine, that’s right two hoes, two forties, two hours for only $299.”

“From the best pimp game in the only place where pimpin’ is legal in the whole U.S. baby!
Yeah, it’s a small little town but we always get down. So hit up the two-way and we’ll deliver your hoes today. 
We do bachelor parties, birthdays, and bar mitzvahs. Remember pimpin’ ain’t for everyone, so leave it to us, ‘Pimps R Us’.”

31 flavors huh? I personally like all flavors but especially French Vanilla, oh la la we we, or Puerto Rican Pecan, but of course I’m talking about ice cream...yeah right and so were they. Ha! Anyways, it’s almost time for what should be a very entertaining match. The Stud is a master of the ring, while KaBoom, I don’t think knows the difference between a wristlock and a wrist watch, but don’t get me wrong. He’s one vicious customer. He’s always out to beat his opponent, not win, but beat the hell out of them.

< KaBoom’s Music Plays > 

No matter how many times I hear it, that screaming in KaBoom’s entrance music sends chills up my spine, Man. Well, making his way to the ring. The man whose temper got him sent home early the first show. The dynamite stick with the short fuse, it’s...KaBoom!

< The Stud’s Music Plays > 

Now listen to the crowd roar! You know that must mean. The Heavyweight Champion of the World is here and there he is! Doing his trademark poses while his bodyguard Crowd Control stands to his left. Man, the crowd is amped tonight! Thank you fans all around for coming out and tuning in to this week’s Cutting Edge. The Stud, accompanied by big Double C, makes his way to the ring. Wait, hold up, I was just informed that this will be a no DQ match. Looks like the advantage just swung tremulously toward KaBoom. This is now his type of match.

< Match - Stud vs KaBoom - Non disqualification - non title match, - Before the match starts the referee asks both competitors to the center of the ring as to inform them it is a no DQ match, which either KaBoom knew or didn’t care as he struck The Stud with a forearm smash as he was asking the ref about this sudden change of rules. KaBoom manages to keep this early momentum for a while. KaBoom punishes The Stud with a pile driver and gets a close two count on him. When he lifts The Stud up, The Stud surges with a sudden array of punches until he backs KaBoom against the ropes and launches him off the ropes. The Stud power slams KaBoom. KaBoom rolls out of the ring toward Crowd Control, until he sees Crowd Control, then he rolls immediately back inside and gets nailed instantly by The Stud with a standing drop kick. As The Stud approaches KaBoom, who’s on his knees. KaBoom low blows The Stud, then follows with a raising lunging clothes line from his knees. KaBoom climbs on top of the downed Stud and starts punching away. Suddenly, from backstage and down the ramp, runs a man. This man is wearing black leather pants, black wrestling boots, no shirt, and black leather gloves with a chain wrapped around his fist. He slides into the ring. KaBoom notices and stands up. He is hit dead smack in the middle of his fore head by the gloved man. KaBoom is dropped instantly but tries to stand back up only to be nailed again by the chained hand, this time he stays down. The Stud stands up and receives a lump for his trouble. Crowd Control, who had entered the ring, is hit also but only staggers back a step. The interferer hits him two more times rocking the big man. This uninvited guest then winds up to deliver a big blow but Crowd Control grabs him by his throat and slams him to the mat with his finisher, “Move the Crowd” chokeslam, allowing Stud to get the three count.

What a finish and that wasn’t even the main event! Fans, I was just informed by a camera crew person that the guy who ran to the ring was the man that KaBoom beat up and sent to the hospital during our premier show. They weren't sure of the man’s name and neither am I, but I’ll find out A. S. A. P.  I can’t believe that Crowd Control pretty much shook off those brass knuckle like shots. Wow, and that mystery man split KaBoom wide open. I bet my bottom dollar that KaBoom is gonna be a pain around here for the next few weeks. While on the subject of bloody, the last time we saw Bobby, he was bleeding from his mouth, most likely from internal bleeding and now he has a title defense against Unique. Talk about tough love.

< Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor’s Music Plays > 
The challenger in this Americas championship match. Coming to the ring, a man of many unique moves, many unique tattoos, and many unique words, the very unique...Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor!

< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays > 
I wonder what kind of condition he’s in. Well, I guess that answers my question as he comes out with bandages wrapped around his mid-section. This is so messed up. How could a father do this to his own son? Well anyways fans, wobbling his way to the ring is the blooded, the bandaged, and seemingly the cursed son of Tex Rich, it’s...Bobby Rich!

< Match - Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor vs Bobby Rich - Americas Title Match - Bobby gives a good effort and Unique doesn’t try to take advantage of the injury, still Bobby appears to be in excruciating pain after even less impacting moves such as a basic body slam. Simultaneously, Nathan nails him with his finisher “The Nutcracker” and the lights throughout the arena go out. When they come back on, there are four cloaked people standing at each corner post outside the ring. Bobby is rolling over trying to recover, while the referee and Unique stare at these four silent, motionless, dark individuals. The lights cut back out and this time when they come back on, the outside visitors are gone. Unique turns around to finish the match but Bobby was waiting for him to turn around. Bobby locks on his finisher “A little R&R” sleeper and wins by submission. >


Bobby wins and it looks like thanks to the distraction or help, depending on how you wanna look at it, of those dark mysterious people, who have for the third time now have interfered with Rich Inc’s dealing. Was it the Bombers? Who could tell with those cloaks on, you can’t see any part of their bodies, hair, or nothing. Actually, I’ve just been informed that the Brooklyn Bombers have been standing by backstage waiting for their match, so it cannot be them. It just doesn’t seem timely possible that they could make it back there in time. Who knows?

< Brooklyn Bomber’s Music Plays > 
There goes their music and here comes four of the meanest, toughest men walking the planet, it’s the collective crew of Bruno, Butch, Bubba, and Bruce...The Brooklyn Bombers!

<Rich Inc’s Music Plays >
I wonder if Tex is still convinced that the four cloaked people are the Bombers after this recent appearance. Well, there’s the tag champs, the Dollar Dollar Bills, Big Tyme Billy and Big Shot Bill, and there’s Rick Rich, but where’s Tex?

< On the Ring Ramp >
	The DDB’s and Rick spread out and all point at the big black curtain covering the backstage entrance. Tex emerges from the back wearing an old school Olympic style wrestling outfit, trunks over spandex shorts, with the state of Texas on each side, and of course his big white cowboy hat.

Oh no he did not! Spandex? Spandex went out of style when Beta VCR’s did. Like high top jelly shoes on a fat chick, like low fat healthy food at fast food restaurants, like Tony Danzah, Ken Griffee Jr, and Skin Tone Loc. Well, I think you get the point and as Tex makes his way to the ring there is no point, just all round fat bulges. Yuck, yuck, yuck, and more yuck! Even the Bills can’t hide their laughter too well, as they only manage to stop laughing when Tex looks at one of them. That doesn’t happen to be the case with the Bombers, they are laughing at him wildly as he approaches the ring. Oh man, I can’t contain my laughter anymore, Ha!

< Match - Rich Inc (Dollar Dollar Bills, Tex and Rick Rich ) vs Brooklyn Bombers (Bruno, Butch, Bubba, and Bruce ) - Four vs Four tag elimination match, - A long match with several near pins and expected interferences. The participants were eliminated in this order: Bruce, Big Tyme Billy, Big Shot Bill, Butch, Bubba, and Rick leaving just Tex and Bruno. Tex, who was only in the ring twice during the match, delivered cheap shots on Bruno who was held by either Rick or Big Tyme, now finds himself alone with Bruno. Tex’s eyes and body language show fear and Bruno’s face shows delight. Tex tries to leave the ring. As he sticks his head between the ropes to escape, Bruno leans over the top rope and grabs him by his shoulder strap. Unnoticed to them both, was James “Boogie Down” Brown, who had run down to the ring with steel chair in hand. As soon as Bruno leaned over, BDB delivers a wicked chair shot, that echoes throughout the arena. Bruno falls flat on his back out. Tex looks shocked at BDB, then at the laid out Bruno. Tex lays on top of Bruno and even hooks the tights, which was needed to barely gain the 1, 2, 3, victory. >

Tex Wins? Wow! I mean Tex Wins! Tex wins! Never in a million years would I guessed that Tex would win a wrestling match over anyone, especially in a pretty much eight man elimination match. Wow, but that’s what you got to expect from S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling, where the unexpected is expected. Well, that’s all the time for this show and we’ll be back next show, The Final Cut. I’m Wil B. Creamin saying goodnight, be careful, and God Bless.
S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 4 (Final Cut)


Welcome ladies, ladies, ladies, and gentlemen to another edition of S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling as we present this week’s The Final Cut, live at the sold out Bundy Arena here in the Valley City, Pike County, Illinois. I’m your host, Wil B. Creamin, who has all the ladies dreaming and on that subject of dreaming, who in their wildest dreams could have fathomed that Tex, yes Tex, our owner, would be the sole survivor at our last Cutting Edge over the Brooklyn Bombers.  Tex owes a big thanks to the outside interference by James “Boogie Down” Brown, who I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes tonight because of him Bruno was pinned by Tex! Who would have believed that was possible? Then we had Raoul jumping Rage, the Rockstars getting dissed, the lady wrestlers debuting tonight, and so much more. I’ve seen the matches for tonight and let me simply say, this show will be simply...Sensational!

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 

Well, there’s their music and here comes Rich Inc, well actually, it’s just Tex and Rick. I wonder where the Dollar Dollar Bills are? Hey, with his now inflated ego, Tex’s head finally comes close to matching his enormous gut, close but not exactly. Well, they are in the ring, so let’s hear him gloat.

< In The Ring > 
	Tex is grinning ear to ear with his son Rick standing next to him. The loud boos don’t seem to be bothering Tex one bit tonight. “Yeah, all you people laughed at my choice of outfit,” referring to his wrestling trunks at the last show. “But who‘s laughing now?” 
	Tex folds over in laughter, while Rick just grins. Tex continues, “I bet Bruno isn’t and after I say what I came out here to say, The Stud won’t be laughing either. So Stud, get your butt out here now!”

What is Tex up to now? I bet The Stud’s getting real tired of this kind of treatment.

< The Stud’s Music Plays > 

Well, looks like we are about to find out because there he is with big double C standing with him and like usual The Stud doesn’t let his fans down as he does his trademark poses. Now he has a mic too.

< On the ramp is The Stud with Crowd Control.  In the ring is Tex and Rick >
Once the crowd has quieted down for him to speak, The Stud says, “Tex, I want to be the first to congratulate you on your victory.”
Tex looks shocked, “Well...um thank you Stud. It was a...” 
The Stud interrupts him, “I mean at least one of you two in the ring has a win.”
The crowd erupts as Tex tries to hold Rick back from going after The Stud.
The Stud continues, “I mean come on Tex, did you turn on the wrong son? Even though your whole family is inbred, at least by my count, one of your sons has a win and the other winless.”
Tex yells into his mic, “Yeah, well I’m gonna fix that today, well at least one part of it for sure!”
Rick looks at his father as if implying, “Which one?” Tex notices and tries to reassure him that he meant him. Rick doesn’t seem to believe him as he starts to argue with his father in the ring.
“Excuse me? Sorry to dawn so much insight on you two knuckleheads, but what did you want with me anyways? Need another rematch to add to your son’s loss column?”
Tex throws his hat to the ground and does his trademark hat stomping. After his brief tantrum, Tex says, “I called you out here to personally challenge you to a match. Me and you, one on one, in a cage, for the title tonight!”
Smiling , The Stud replies, “Now I know you were really inbred. You versus me? Okay, what’s the catch? Everyone and everybody gonna interfere on your behalf?”
The Stud shakes his head in disbelief but says, “ If you want your “Lights Out” that desperately.”
“Oh Stud, there is one catch, I’m not gonna lie. I’m an honest, hardworking Texan and I know you are one helluva athlete and I’m not exactly at your level, but I can hold my own. So, if you think you can do it so easily, then you shouldn’t mind a ten minute time limit, right?”
“In a cage?” asks The Stud.
“Yes.”
“10 minutes?”
“Yes.”
“Nine more minutes than I’ll need, but I just hope you know this, whether it’s Show’s Over or Light’s Out, The Stud will win the bout!”
< The Stud’s Music Plays > 

The Stud does a few more poses then he and Crowd Control head backstage. Tex remains in the ring with Rick.
“Now that the annoying Stud is gone. I want to assure you fans that I know you came here and tuned in to see the wrestlers wrestle and not the owner. Plus, I’m not a spotlight type of guy, just simply a laid back Texan. So, when I win tonight I’ll vacate the title and at our first ever Pay Per View, titled Buzz S.A.W., in two weeks in San Antonio, we will have a tournament for the title. If I lose tonight, since I have a new liking for four man matches, the winner of tonight’s fatal four match will be facing The Stud at the P. P. V. Those competitors will be Bruno, Thunder, Unique, and Rick.”
Tex pauses for a moment, then continues, “Also, tonight the Dollar Dollar Bills have the night off and Rockstars, in no way, shape, or form did the Dollar Dollar Bills have any authority to make decisions concerning the world tag titles but since I’m a fair man, Rockstars, tonight I’m going to give you a chance to earn a title shot, as you will face the Varsity All-Stars and the team 2 Badd 4 Ya, in a three way tag match. The winners will face the Dollar Dollar Bills at the P. P. V. “
He continues, “Fans, even bigger news, tonight the ladies will debut here live!” he grins.

< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays > 

He did say “ladies “right? Ha!

The stylish duo walks out onto the ramp in their extravagant gear as the crowd cheers. Frances asks, “I hate to sound like a dripping petcock, but why are we getting over looked again?”
A puzzled Tex asks, “A dripping what?”
Greg answers him, “A dripping faucet, you know?”
Frances adds, “Yeah, why are we being overlooked for the titles?”
Tex says smart-alec like, “Trust me, in those pink outfits you can’t be over looked.”
Not realizing that they were just insulted, Frances replies, “Thank you.”
Tex just shakes his head, “Okay, if you...guys, will leave my ramp, I’ll add you to the title mix somehow, but that’ll mean you’ll probably wrestle tonight.”
“Kay,” says Frances and Greg nods in agreement.

< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays > 

Wow there’s so much to digest. Tex challenging The Stud to a world title match, Flaming Desire forcefully inserting themselves. Sorry, I had to say that. Ha! Also, what’s up with Thunder and Unique fighting in the main event? I mean don’t get me wrong, they are solid wrestlers, with Thunder being a little more solid than Unique, if you catch my drift but I don’t think they can defeat the likes of Rick or Bruno. Well, I guess if you look at Rick and Bruno’s wins and losses, I don’t believe they have a win between the both of them. Crazy, well I guess we have a situation brewing backstage.

< Backstage >
The camera is following the Brooklyn Bombers as they walk with a mission in mind, indicated by their collective stride. They make their way down a hallway until they arrive at their destination, a dressing room with James “Boogie Down” Brown’s name on it. Bruno announces, “We found the punk!”
Butch opens the door and all the Bombers storm the room. Boogie Down had no chance to react from the folding chair he was seated on. They beat him down and once he’s hapless, two of the members lift and fling him toward Bruno, who nails him with his finisher “The Decapitator” power clothesline. They stomp him a few more times while he’s down, then once they are satisfied that they’ve worked him over enough, they leave.

Well, I knew that was probably gonna happen, so should’ve BDB. Those guys are guys you don’t want to mess with. I understand why he did what he did last show. I mean from day one they seemed to have singled him out along with Mikeal, but you see Mikeal was content with one butt whipping. Anyways, sorry to say Boogie Down, but we got to move on to bigger news like the debut of our lady wrestlers! About time we get to see some real ladies around here. Yeah, we got Cynthia, but she’s no lady, trust me on that. That would be like calling Cashless Clayton wealthy. Ha!

< Final Cut’s Intro Music Plays > 

Here it is! The ladies! Coming to the ring is a cutie extreme. I saw her in the back and let me tell you, baby got back. She might be small but she can brawl. Making her way to the ring...Michelle Nash!

< Ivana’s Music Plays > 
I didn’t get a chance to see this lady before the show but, whoa! Does Crowd Control know he has a sister? That lady is easily over six feet and some change. Whoa! We might have to check her passport again for gender. Coming to the ring, from the former Soviet Union, the tall and the powerful looking...Ivana!

< Match - Ivana vs Michelle Nash - Smartly, Michelle tries to use her speed to her advantage, which helps keep this match from being too one-sided. During a cross body attempt, Ivana catches her and slams her to the mat. Ivana picks her up by the hair and piledrives her. Instead of trying a pin attempt, she climbs to the top turnbuckle and when Michelle finally finds her bearings and stands she is nailed by Ivana’s finisher “S2G” missile dropkick. Ivana pins her standing with her foot on Michelle’s chest. >

Pretty impressive debut for Ivana. I haven’t seen many high-flying women wrestlers. Tex seems to have found a pretty good one, not much of a looker but hey, I have no problem seeing Michelle Nash on her back. Ha! Well, it’s time for a commercial break and when we return, I will inform you all about two huge matches tonight affecting the America’s Championship division. See you in a flash.

< Commercial Break >
A couple is under their covers of their queen size bed sharing a special moment, so it would seem, until the lady’s head pops out from under the covers, she asks the man, “Did it break again?”
The man emerges with a saddened look, “Yes, dear.”
“And you were already done, weren’t you?” she asks with accusing eyes.
“Yes, dear,” he replies in a solemn tone.
Frustrated, she asks, “What are we gonna do about this?”
The man shrugs, “I don’t know. What can we do?”

A man in a business suit walks into their bedroom, he says, “I know what you can do!”
“What’s that?” asks the lady.
“Yeah and who are you?” adds the man in the bed.

The man in the suit replies, “I’m Dan, the ‘Samurai Condom’ Man and I’m here to tell you it’s not that common, speedy and it doesn’t happen to all men. I’m also here to tell you about Samurai Condom's, Cast Iron Sleeves. Yes, that’s right, Cast Iron Sleeves, the newest in prophylactic technology.”
He continues, “CIS are made of ultra thin tubes of lightweight, yet durable metal strips with a clenching base. That’s right, no need to worry about breakage.”

The man in the bed questions, “Well, with it being metal and all, won’t it desensitize the feeling for me?”

Dan replies, “Is it always about you?” The lady nods in agreement, while Dan continues, “One of the best things about the sleeves are that they can help enhance the woman’s pleasure, while assuring no more ‘oops, I’m so sorry. Give me ten minutes’.”

The lady’s lover sits up in the bed, “Well, what about all those enhancement drugs? Don’t they work just as good?”

Dan replies with a smile, exposing his perfect teeth, “Didn’t your momma tell you to say no to drugs? Drugs are bad for you. With Cast Iron Sleeves, no need for embarrassing prescriptions, popping pills, or smearing of ointments. Save the embarrassment. No more outdated old condoms falling out of your pockets while you dig for change at the convenience store. No need to make your wallet appear as if it has ringworm. With one of these in your pocket, she won’t have to ask, she’ll know you’re happy to see her. Also, they are so easy to re-use. Simply rinse, dry, and add a little CIS jelly and woohlah, back to action.”

The man and woman in bed both smile at each other, then turn toward Dan, 
“Thanks Dan!” they say together.
Modestly, Dan replies, “Don’t thank me, thank Samurai, the company that cares about your sword.”

< Backstage >
	The same tall, slender woman from the first Final Cut on a payphone, is here again on a payphone. She says, “Yeah, girl I really got the scoop this week. Uh huh, yup. So anyways, girlfriend, when you gonna get here anyways? For reals?! That’s cool. Hey, guess who used to pose for K-Marte? Ivana. Yup, when she first got here to the States, and you know that sexy Stud guy, right? Yes, that’s the one, the yummy one. Well rumor is that his brother is a holy high roller, some kind of pastor. Who would’ve guessed it? And you know those Varsity All-Star triplets? Well they aren’t even related. Nope, not at all they just all happen to look alike.”
She continues after a slight pause, “So anyways girl, did you check out that new calendar ‘Big Bodies with Bigger Extras?’ Oh girl let me tell you about it. There was this one guy on top of a 2005...

Sorry, we had to cut her short, that was just Gaby, no one special. I bet they call her that because of her gift of gab, but I wonder if she has the gift to wrestle? She’s cute and all but as we saw earlier, cute doesn’t help much in matches. Also fans, please take what Gaby says just for what it is...gossip. I will dig deeper and deeper and deeper...sorry about that, I was thinking about last night and what this female was, oh never mind, but I will get to the bottom of some of these things she brought up. Speaking of bottoms, it seems like Flaming Desire will get a chance to prove themselves worthy of a title shot, while the Rockstars have to prove themselves once again, thanks to the dirty trick by the Dollar Dollar Bills, who still have yet to wrestle in a tag team match.  Conveniently, our tag team champs, aren’t even here at the show tonight. Before the match, let me announce this week’s winners of the round trip, all expenses paid trip to our just named pay per view, Buzz S.A.W. The winners are Mike Hunt and Sharon Spittz. Congratulations.

< Final Cut’s Intro Music Plays >
 Time for a tag team match. Coming to the ring, making their S.A.W. debut, the team of Big Badd Johnson and Badd Azz Babukas...2 Badd 4 Ya!

< Rockstars Music Play >
Making their...wait? I mean running to the ring, the team of, well it’s the Rockstars!

< Match - Rockstars vs 2 Badd 4 Ya - Visibly upset, the Rockstars skipped their usual guitar mimicking intro and ran straight to the ring. Rad Brad and Far Out Phil slide into the ring and all four men go at it as the bell rings. The Rockstar’s combination of anger and talent was too much for 2 Badd 4 Ya to handle. As the match is over in mere minutes, compliments of their finisher “Chart Buster.” >

Looks like it was too bad for 2 Badd. I knew the Rockstars would be fired up, but wow! DDB’s, you’re building a storm that you might not be able to weather. They destroyed them and even now, after the victory, they don’t appear to be in a celebrative mood. On the subject of moods, not in the mood to cook yourself dinner and worry about your mutt also? The company that brought you Cat Food Helpa is proud to present its newest product, Dog Food Helpa by Corporal Mills. We not only care for your cats but for your dogs too. Available at your local grocery store today. Hot damn!...Dog Food Helpa? O...Kay...,anyways back to the action.

< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays > 

Coming to the ring first in this tag team match, the flamboyant and gay team, hey I’m only quoting them! It’s the team of Frances Anthony Gaines, Gregory Anthony Young it’s...Flaming Desire!

< Varsity All-Star’s Music Plays > 
Their opponents in this match up, with the winners of this match going on to face the Rockstars for the chance at the DDB’s tag titles at Buzz S.A.W., our first Pay-Per-View. Yes, I was just informed that exciting news. Anyways coming to the ring accompanied by their lovely cheerleader sister Karrie, the team of Chad and Brad Keeble, it’s the triplets, it’s...Varsity All-Stars!

< Match - Flaming Desire vs Varsity All-Stars - An extremely good match between two teams that really know tag team wrestling. After several near pins and a broken up finisher attempt by Flaming Desire, they maintain the upper hand after knocking Chad off the top rope during a move attempt. As Frances climbs the turnbuckles to execute his part of their double team finisher, Karrie stands on the ring apron and bends over exposing her g-string underwear under her already revealing skirt. Frances and Gregory look briefly, then both motion “oh well” and without missing a beat, land their finisher “Bottom’s Up” for the victory> 

Flaming Desire gains the victory thanks to their finisher, “Bottom’s Up” and speaking of bottom’s up, did she really think that would distract either of those two? Come on now. I mean it worked on me, I can barely remember much of the match now. Brad and Chad look really depressed that they lost. Oh well, while Karrie consoles her brothers, let’s go to an interview, and let’s hope he gets this one right. Simon Tucker is standing by, at least I hope so, with Nathan “Unique” Taylor. Go ahead Simon.

< Backstage > 
Simon is standing next to Unique in the hallway. Simon looks over his notes once again, “Hello, I’m Simon Tucker and I’m standing by with...um...” looking through his papers again, “Nathan “Unique” Taylor. So Unique, how do you feel about back to back weeks with chances to get some gold?”
Smiling, Unique replies, “I must be modest or something, it might come to wont if I’m not careful.”
Having little clue what Unique says, Simon simply replies, “Huh?”
“I’m lucky and appreciative.”
“Oh I see. Well Unique, here’s a chance to say something to our fans and your fans.”
“Thank you Simon. This promotion is tantamount compared to others, no neophytes or duffers here. So buy a pig in a poke and don't leave us waiting at the church because of our owners early hokum. Each show will be trinitrotoluene and full of hullabaloo, especially if I have the fad. May Yahweh be with you!”
Scratching his head, Simon asks, “What was all that you said?”
“I told the fans to hang in there, the best is yet to come. What did you think I said?”
Simon shakes his head, “Back to you, Willy.”

Willy?! I got your “Willy” dangling right here buddy! Anyways, I think we might have to ban Unique from getting interviews or maybe have those words flow on the bottom of the screen whenever he talks. I can never understand him. I also got word from some of the crew backstage that Raoul’s not too happy with his match tonight. Last week, he jumped Rage backstage and I expected those two would lock it up soon but not this soon and get this! Tonight,
 in the triple main event, yes I said Triple main event, it will be Rage vs Raoul...vs KaBoom vs Mean Mike Ford. If you are wondering who’s Mean Mike? He’s the guy who came down during the last Cutting Edge and interfered with The Stud / KaBoom match. The one that KaBoom sent to the hospital and in return was bloodied up by last week. That is why Raoul is apparently so upset, he said he has to wrestle in a match that is full of crazies who can’t even wrestle. The winner of this fatal four way will face Bobby Rich at the P. P. V. for the title. Wow! Talk about a mouth full, don’t worry I won’t go there. Ha! This next match I bet Bobby wishes Tex didn’t go there as Bobby has to face, not one but two of the Brooklyn Bombers, at the same time! Non-Title of course but still.

< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, the Americas champion, the marked man, the resilient son of the owner, it’s...Bobby Rich!

< Brooklyn Bomber’s Music Plays > 
Making their way to the ring for this handicap match are two people who probably wanna leave Bobby handicapped in the ring. Two members of the toughest clique alive, it’s Bruce, it’s Bubba, it’s....The Brooklyn Bombers!

< Match - Bruce and Bubba vs Bobby Rich - Handicap match / non-title- Even though this match was supposed to be tag format, the Brooklyn Bombers rarely tagged, instead they just regularly cheated and came in while the other distracted the ref. Bobby didn’t stand a chance during this match. Any momentum started on one Bomber was thwarted by the other Bomber. Finally, in an act of mercy, they lift him up to finish the match, when suddenly the big screen come on with James “Boogie Down” Brown on it. In his slang heavy talk, he relays the message that he’s tired of them jumping him and that he’s on his way to the ring with a chair. He finished his statement with, “Punks jump up to get beat down!”. BDB then runs out of view and the screen cuts off and BDB’s music plays.
Bruce tells Bubba to go meet him on the ramp. Bubba grabs a chair from ringside and heads up the ramp and waits midway as Boogie Down’s music continues to play. 
Meanwhile, James Brown had snuck out of the crowd with a chair and nails Bruce, while the referee had his back to him. BDB rolls back out and Bubba turns around to see the ref count three on his fallen Bomber comrade. He runs back to the ring and Bobby wisely rolled out as he rolled in. >

Bobby won? I didn’t expect that. BDB’s message must have been pre-recorded. Smart move Boogie Down. There’s four of them and only one of you. Divide and conquer, there’s nothing wrong with using the backdoor, just ask Frances or Greg. Ha! Man I bet Bruno and his boys are gonna be really hot for a while about this one. Well, Bruno already has his own problems tonight in the match he’s in. A fatal four way, part of our triple main event. Well it’s time for our next match.

< Mikeal’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, a man we haven’t seen since his “Family emergency” the old school legend of the squared circle, who still wrestles in tube socks, it’s the living legend himself...Mikeal!

< Flying Jalapenos Music Plays >
Coming to the ring and coming from Mexico, the Latin sensation, the Mexican hot stuff, it’s the...Flying Jalapeno!

< On the Ramp >
Tex walks out from backstage, “Cut the music! Cut the music!” The Flying Jalapenos music stops. Tex is standing next to Flying Jalapeno. Tex says, “It seems we have a slight illness bug going on backstage and that The Flying Jalapeno has come down with an illness.”
The Flying Jalapeno is hopping up and down, looking as healthy as could be. Tex put his hand on his shoulder motioning for him to calm down. Flying Jalapeno, who speaks no English, looks at Tex confused and says something in Spanish. Tex, who speaks very little Spanish, replies simply, “Adios” and then points backstage. The Flying Jalapeno looks confused, but goes backstage. Tex turns back toward Mikeal who’s standing in the ring, “As I was saying, since he’s not feeling too well, I had to find a last minute replacement. So hit the music!”

< The Stud’s Music Plays >
What?! The Stud is fighting now also?! He has a match later. Wait, that’s not The Stud, it’s his bodyguard, Crowd Control! Mikeal looks scared out of his wits. This was supposed to be the last match of our gauntlet match at the first Final Cut but Mikeal’s “family emergency” prevented that. Well, it’s time for an unexpected match, but then again this is S.A.W. 

< Match - Crowd Control vs Mikeal - Mikeal tries to attack Crowd Control as he enters the ring stepping over the top rope, these blows go unnoticed by Crowd Control. He then delivers one chest slap that sends Mikeal to the mat. As soon as he stands, he catches a big boot to his face dropping him once again. Crowd Control picks him up and ends the embarrassment with his finisher “Move the Crowd “ choke slam and pins Mikeal standing. >

Poor ol Mikeal, all he did was prolong the beating by running in the first place but then again he was trying to avoid the Brooklyn Bombers and at least he did manage that much. Man, I remember when Mikeal would put up a better fight than this. He has been a champion more times than he has fingers and toes but I guess wrestlers are like computers, they become obsolete faster these days. Well, it’s that special time of the show where I announce this week’s winners of the full expense, round trip, pay per view tickets. Going to Buzz S.A.W. our first ever pay per view, the winners are Tara Newhole and Frank N. Benes. Congratulations!

< Backstage >
Cynthia Cash is standing next to a female wrestler with a ponytail, big grin, and semi-muscular build.
“Hi I’m Cynthia Cash and I’m standing by with one of S.A.W.’s female wrestlers Natalie McMiller.”
“Please, call me Nat,” she says with a grin.
“Yeah, whatever. Anyways, so you came here to wrestle, right, or to be the typical eye candy or a little bit of both?”
“I joined to wrestle period. If someone thinks I’m cute, oh well, so be it, but I started wrestling to make women’s wrestling legit, not just some watered down version of men’s wrestling.”
“Well, you won’t last long then,” says Cynthia sarcastically.
Nat, now not grinning replies, “Longer than you. What are you gonna do when your looks leave and gravity takes over? Dare I ask you what talents landed you this job?”
“Why you little...” says Cynthia until Nat cuts her short, by putting up her hand in Cynthia’s face, “Talk to the hand cause I’m the one in demand.”
She then walks off smiling.
Cynthia just stands stunned and speechless.

Yes! Now that’s my type of girl, cute and spunky. Yeah, Cynthia, shut your mouth before someone sticks a, oh never mind, they would still have to wait in line. Ha! Speaking of in, Cynthia got out of line and in Nat’s face and Nat told her, or well, at least the hand did.

< Natalie McMiller’s Music Plays >
I like her even more; she even has cool music too! There she is. Oh she even did the whatcha call it? The spin thingie and then thrusting her hands up on key with the pyro explosion. I can’t remember what that move’s called, I know it starts with a P. Well she’s a little short for a female wrestler, but who knows.

< Final Cut’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, a woman who has more in-ring experience than most male wrestlers, a former champion, it’s...Charlene Nadir!

< Match- Nat McMiller vs Charlene Nadir - Nat controls this match by perfectly using both her size and quickness. Nadir can barely tell if this jitterbug of lightening is coming or going. After a well executed dropkick, Charlene stands up to be the victim of a top rope hurricana. Nat then picks up Charlene and slams her, setting her up for her top rope finisher, “Miller Time”, a flying top rope leg drop, which gets collective “Oh’s and Ah’s” 
from the crowd for the height she managed during the move. She wins easily as the crowd counts the 1, 2, 3, with the ref. >

That was one of the most impressive heights I’ve ever seen! Man or Woman. Wow! I knew she had nice legs, but they gotta be pretty strong too. The crowd is even “Ohhing” again as we show the replay. Nat’s standing watching the replay with that great smile of hers. I still gotta say wow! Wow, wow, wow! Well, it’s time for an interview with Mike Stopsign and Raoul, then after that we’ll have the first match of our triple header main event.

< Backstage >
“Hi, I’m Mike Stopsign and I’m standing by with Raoul, one of the competitors in one of our main event matches. So Raoul, word backstage is that you are upset about this match.”
“No, I’m not upset about this match. Any chance I get to show my fans this great body...” he opens his ring robe, exposing his chiseled physique. “...and a chance to, well, actually a guarantee, to fight in a championship match makes me happy, but what in the world was Tex thinking by putting me in a match with those three maniac losers? They aren’t in my league. Between the three of them they can’t even spell suplex and with their limited repertoires of moves and uncontrollable aggression, they might end up accidentally hurting S.A.W.’s most sexiest man. Just imagine all the fans we would lose with my absence! The ratings would most definitely take a dive! Can you imagine it?!”
Tired of listening to Raoul talk, but still being professional, Stopsign replies, “I can imagine.”
“Can you really?” asks Raoul as he looks Stopsign up and down, “I don’t think you really can, chubby. I mean look at you. You must have no clue what it’s like to be a sex symbol, eye candy, the man. Well anyways, I’ve spent enough time with you. Time to go win this match.”
He then walks off, leaving Stopsign speechless.

Well, confidence is one thing that Raoul is not short of, and to take a stab at Stopsign like that was uncalled for. I mean, yes Mike’s a little overweight, but hey not everyone is obsessed with a mirror like Raoul seems to be.

< Raoul’s Music Plays >
There’s his music and there he is grinning ear to ear. He poses every time he comes out despite how much the crowd boos him. Well actually it’s kinda odd, it’s seems almost 50 / 50 cheers and boos. Well anyway, making his way to the ring, S.A.W.’s self proclaimed sexiest man, the Latin Lover, it’s...Raoul!

< KaBoom’s Music Plays >
The next competitor in this fatal four way match, in which the first person with a pin fall or submission wins. Coming to the ring is the deadly, the volatile, the explosive, it’s...KaBoom!

< Mean Mike’s Music Plays >
The next competitor making his way down to the ring, who I found out is from New York, maybe he knows the Brooklyn Bombers, well it’s the man who always looks upset, and from what I hear usually is, it’s...Mean Mike Ford! Hey, what the hell?! Those two are going at it before Rage has even come out. Raoul is outside the ring enjoying this.

< Match - Raoul vs Rage vs KaBoom vs Mean Mike Ford - Fatal Four Way Match - Rage’s music comes on while Mean Mike and KaBoom go at each other in the ring. Rage runs down to the ring and gives chase to a fleeing Raoul. Raoul rolls into the ring and the two brawling men stop, look at Raoul, then back at each other, then both nail Raoul at the same time with a punch dropping him. Then all four men go at it and as predicted, during the majority of the match KaBoom focused on Mean Mike, while Raoul and Rage went at it. The match ended with Mean Mike trying to put Rage in his finisher “The Rackling” a submission back breaker but Rage slides off his shoulder and grabs Mike and drops him with his finisher “Migraine” a reverse DDT drop. Rage stands and is nailed by KaBoom’s finisher “KaPoww” a running spear. KaBoom stands and is hooked by his tights and flung out of the ring by Raoul, who lays on the downed Rage hooking the tights and feet on the ropes for leverage for a 1, 2, 3, victory.>

Wow! What a finish! What a way to start our triple main event off. Wow! Raoul said he was going to win and he did. I still can’t believe all the action. Well, I hate to leave you, but we have to go to a commercial break, but when we get back it will be time for the Tex Rich vs The Stud in a steel cage championship match.


< Commercial Break > 
Coming this fall to our already exciting Monday night line-up is a show that has the critics already raving!
“Skipping Stone” says, “It’s good, it’s great! Now where’s our money?!”
Television guide said, “A can’t and don’t wanna miss with a twist.”
Player Boy said, “A show that doesn’t need smut or sexual images. Thank God!”
Coming this fall to the Fred Dumper Network, watch young Chris and Max as they fall in love in Hermaphrodite Love! Here are a few screens from this instant classic.


The First Meeting
Chris walks up to Max who is sitting at a table in a night club and asks, “Care to Dance?” Max replies, yes. Once both are on the dance floor, a dance hall tune plays. Max insists that Chris leads, “You lead.” but Chris insists that Max leads, “No you can lead.”
“But I insist you lead.”
“No thank you, you lead.”

Shopping
Chris is standing inside the bathroom accessory section of a department store. Chris seems puzzled. A sales clerk approaches, “Can I help you sir...maa...oh, um...can I help you?”
Chris looking at some bath towels, replies, “I don’t know if you can. I’m trying to decide either to get his or her towels or both.

Clubbing
Chris and Max are standing at the front of a long line leading to the entrance of a live nightclub. The bouncer/door man has a few dollar bills in his hand and an angry look on his face, “Look, I don’t know how many times I got to explain this to you two, but it’s four dollars for ladies and six dollars for the men, so why do you two keep insisting on giving me ten dollars each?!”

Childhood
Chris and Max sit at a table inside a new age cafe enjoying coffee and each other’s conversation. Chris says, “I can’t believe how much we have had in common, especially our childhood. Wait, I got one. Here’s a question. If this was the same I’ll be truly shocked.”
Max says, “Go ahead.”
“Okay, when you were growing up, what one place, club actually, did you join that was a big miss-advertising fiasco and huge disappointment to you? If this happened to you too, oh boy!”
Max ponders for a moment, then answers, “Boy and Girls Club?”
“Yes! Oh my! I can’t believe it. I was so disappointed when I joined.”
With a grin Max adds, “Me Too!”

Those were just a few of the thousands of entertaining scenes you’ll see this fall on WEBS, a Fred Dumper Network. Hermaphrodite Love, check it out!

Believe it or not I’ll probably catch that show this fall. I mean with all the crappy reality T.V. shows, it’ll be a pleasant change to have something completely different to watch, and believe me if you don’t know or didn’t know, Hermaphrodites are completely different.  On that subject of completely different. This next match, the second of our triple main event is a match that is completely different. Our plus size owner is about to take on S.A.W. ’s plus skilled Heavyweight Champion of the World in a steel cage match, with a ten minute time limit.

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays >
There’s their music. I wonder what outfit Tex’s gonna wear this time. There he is and he’s wearing the same outfit from last show. That’s good news and bad news. Good because there’s no more eye shock like that last time, but the bad news is that it’s still spandex, Yuck! Well, as he makes his way to the ring by himself, they’re lowering the cage. I can’t believe Tex, he must really believe he can beat The Stud. He actually came down to the ring by himself. Once the cage is locked, he’ll be one on one with The Stud. I guess I do have to give him some credit.

< Stud’s Music Plays > 
There he is fans, doing his trademark poses, the Heavyweight champion, S.A.W.’s world champion, the man the fans voted S.A.W.’s most sexiest man, did I already mention I was a close second? Anyways, coming to the ring accompanied by his bodyguard, Crowd Control, it’s...The Stud!

< Match - Stud vs Tex Rich - Steel cage - Heavyweight Title Match - 10 minute limit - 
Once the cage is locked, Tex lifts his mic, “First, we need the big screen to display the ten minute countdown.” The big screen turns completely black with ten minutes in big white numbers. Tex continues, “Second. My fans all around the world and here in attendance, I have some bad news. You see that illness bug that I said was going on backstage. Well, I must have caught it from being so close to the Flying Jalapeno earlier.” The crowd boos. The Stud looks at Tex across the ring and shakes his head in disbelief as Tex musters a cough. Tex motions for the crowd to quiet, “Hold on, fans. I promised you three great matches and being an honest, hardworking Texan, that I am. I think everyone deserves a shot, so I got a replacement.” Unnoticed by The Stud, Rick rolled out from under the ring and slid in the ring behind him, Tex yells, “That replacement is my son Rick!” Rick nails The Stud from behind and Tex motions frantically for the timer to start, which it does. Crowd Control is furious outside the steel cage and tries to rip it apart. Inside the cage, The Stud is having a difficult time. Tex, with his supposed illness, manages to trip up The Stud every time he gains decent momentum. As time was running out, with less than two minutes left, The Stud nails Rick with a reverse atomic drop and immediately goes after Tex who was standing on the ring apron with a steel chair that he got from under the ring. Tex drops the chair and The Stud chases him around the ring. Rick rolled out and followed The Stud. Suddenly, Crowd Control uses unbelievable force and punches through the steel cage and grabbed Rick by his tights, preventing him from saving his father. Tex rolled back in the ring and was tripped by The Stud. When Tex stands, his clock is cleaned by The Stud’s finisher “Light’s Out” super kick. The Stud gains the very easy 1, 2, 3, victory. Rick rolled back in after escaping the big man’s grasp and tried to clothesline The Stud, who ducked and nails Rick with “Light’s Out” also, leaving both father and son out cold.

The Stud wins! Don’t worry, I’m not gonna keep repeating it, that’s reserved for the final main event.  Can you believe it? Every trick Tex has tried has failed miserably. Sickness huh? Yeah right, but I can tell you he’s probably gonna have a headache now. Ha! Look, Crowd Control’s hand is a bloody mess from punching through the cage. That’s gonna need stitches for sure. I still can’t believe he had the power to punch through a steel cage. That’s freakish strength! Whoa! It just dawned on me, Rick is in the next match and he just had his lights put out! Rick is now up but he looks dazed and he’s leaning over Tex 

who’s sitting up on his rump, a good sturdy base to balance on. Ha! Wow, it looks as if he’s talking. I mean Rick’s actually speaking in public! Rick never talks and it’s probably 
a good thing you fans can’t hear what he’s saying. Let’s just say he seems fed up with his father’s botched plans. I can’t say exactly what he just said but it was something that sounded like, “ What the bucc-aneers is going on?!” Ha!

< Nathan “Unique” Taylor’s Music Plays >
Well, with the broken cage lifted and Tex finally out of the ring, looks like the match is now. Making his way to the ring, the very entertaining, the very unusual, it’s... Nathan “Unique” Taylor!  Rick is in the ring but looks tired. Whoa! He charged Unique from his backside and looks like he’s trying to finish the match before the other two make it to the ring. Tex, who’s groggy outside the ring, just rang the bell. I guess the match just started.

< Match - Bruno vs Thunder vs Rick vs Unique - Fatal Four Way Match - 
Unique didn’t expect Rick’s vicious and desperate attack, so within a minute Rick has him locked in his finisher “A Little R & R” sleeper hold. As the referee starts to drop Unique’s arm the second time. Bruno, who had made his way to the ring, attacked Rick from behind breaking the hold. Thunder eventually makes his way to the ring and into the match. Throughout the match, the unfortunate Unique seems to be everyone’s target, seemingly the easy pin. Out of desperation, Unique rolls outside the ring and Rick gives chase. Seeing the action heading outside, Thunder and Bruno exit the ring also but ended up fighting each other. Meanwhile, Rick tries to grab Unique, when a man in the crowd behind Rick tries to hit Rick with the steel chair that he’s been seated on. Tex, between moments of grogginess, notices the man and yells. Rick ducks the chair shot and the man nails Unique dead in his face. The man in the crowd seems stunned that he nailed Unique.
Rick takes advantage of this, and rolls the semi-conscious Unique back into the ring for the pin fall victory while Thunder and Bruno had continued to battle unaware of the outside interference.

Rick wins! Rick wins! Rick wins! He finally wins! Who could have guessed it after he already wrestled The Stud minutes before. Who was that man in the crowd? He looked like he was trying to hit Rick with that chair shot. Does Tex have another enemy? Does Nathan have a mystery friend? What’s really going on? Well, you have to catch us at our next Sensational show, the Cutting Edge this Friday. Until then, I’m Wil B. Creamin, God Bless and I’m out!
S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 5 (The Cutting Edge)

Welcome every female and male, to the show that entertains well. S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling, as we proudly bring to you live from the sold out King’s Stadium in Morristown, the Cutting Edge. I’m your host with the most, who loves to boast and known from coast to coast, Wil B. Creamin! Tonight’s show is brought to you coast to coast and around the world and will be simply sensational! At our last show, the Final Cut, we had our first ever triple main event and man, every match was dynamite! First, Raoul survived his fatal four match and pinned Rage, thanks to hooking his tights and using the ropes. He will now move on to face Bobby Rich for his title at Buzz S.A.W. , our first ever Pay Per View. Next, Tex had his lights put out compliments of The Stud.  Rick who had unexpected double duty, managed to win his fatal four way to assure a title match, again versus The Stud at the P. P. V also. That was largely in part to outside interference by a man whom after the show Unique said he didn’t even know. Also, with Tex not being here, due to injuries, and probably a hurt ego too, we’ll have no comment on that subject from him.

< In The Ring >
The Dollar Dollar Bills are standing in the ring. Big Tyme Billy has something the shape of a ruler in the back pocket of his blue jeans. After they do a little posing with the tag titles, they each pull out a mic.
“How you doing Seattle, Washington!” yells Big Tyme. The crowd erupts in boos.
Big Shot corrects him, “Hey Billy, this ain’t Seattle. I believe it’s Morristown.”
Right on cue, Big Tyme replies, “Oh, that explains why it smells so bad!”  The crowd boos louder than before. Once the crowd quiets a little, Big Tyme continues, 	“Well, you’re all probably wondering why we are wearing these white cowboy hats. It’s in honor of our fallen leader, Tex. Let’s pause for a moment of silence.”
Both DDB’s stand with their hands behind them and heads down as the crowd boos, “You see, Tex couldn’t be here because of a neck injury he sustained at the hands of that loser, The Stud.” says Big Shot.
“Or as Simon said, “The Dud,” adds Big Tyme. They both laugh.
“Well anyways, since we don’t have ANY control over who wrestles who, as explained by Tex last show. We aren’t gonna be able to wrestle tonight as we had hoped.”
They both try to appear saddened about this fact.
“But...” says Big Tyme, “Since we are running the show tonight and because of Tex’s condition, he lifted that rule for tonight only, so you’ll get to see us in a match, tonight with the Rockstars!”
The crowd starts to cheer, then Big Tyme interrupts them, “Yes! As guest referees!”
“Tonight, the Rockstars will take on Flaming Desire, the winners will face us at the Pay Per View for our tag titles.”
Proud that they pulled a fast one on the fans, the DDB’s smile while the crowd boos. Imitating a news broadcaster, Big Shot says, “And in lesser news, none of the wrestlers whose Pay Per View fates have been determined will wrestle here tonight, they have the night off.”
“So that means no Stud tonight!” adds Big Tyme.

< DDB’s Music Plays >

Those two are just full of jokes huh? Obviously full of themselves too. Guest referees? Next they’ll probably be guest popcorn vendors, everything but defending those titles in the ring. Plus, this is so fishy and I mean Cynthia Cash fishy, if you know what I mean. Ha! I bet the Rockstars can’t be happy about this and what about the wrestlers who have matches at Buzz S.A.W.  having the night off? I guess no one told them because I saw Raoul backstage earlier.

< Backstage > 
The DDB’s are walking down a hallway, laughing uncontrollably about something. They arrive at a dressing room. Big Tyme takes the object out of his back pocket as Big Shot slides out the name plate out of its stationary place on the door. Big Tyme slides James “Boogie Down” Brown’s name plate in its place.
The DDB’s are laughing quietly but so hard that they pass by Raoul; not noticing that he was leaning against a wall watching the whole thing. Raoul doesn’t say a word to them as they pass, he just smiles.

Why did they do that? Whose room did they switch that nameplate with? These guys think they’re funny. I know that they’ve been kicked out of several different wrestling organizations because of their antics. They better be careful. Well, I guess one of our Pay Per View guarantees is here for an interview, let’s go back with Cynthia Cash and Bobby Rich. Be careful Bobby or you might leave the interview as Bobby Itch instead of Bobby Rich. Ha!

< Backstage> 
Cynthia is so upset by Wil’s comments, that she yells at Wil like he’s standing there, “I’m getting so tired of all the rude comments. I don’t even know you and don’t want to know you either and by the way I go by Cyn, damn it!”
Bobby Rich who doesn’t seem like he wanted this interview in the first place, clears his throat, hoping to give her a hint to start the interview. She looks at him rudely for a brief moment then starts the interview. “Hi, I’m Cyn and I’m standing by with Bobby Rich, our owner’s less attractive son.”
Bobby interrupts her, “Listen tramp! I’m the more talented son for sure and my record and this belt prove it!”
“Why I never!”
“What?! Give refunds unless they’re repeat customers?”
She stands shocked and speechless, while Bobby grabs the mic, “Listen to me dad, while you’re sitting at home nursing your fat neck. You can do whatever you want to me and put me in all kinds of matches but I’m the only real and true champion of the family. Always have been, always will be. So plan all you want! Bring on the ‘Tough Love’!” Bobby storms off the set.

See Cynthia, I’m not the only one who thinks you’re a tramp. Ha! It looks as if Tex’s attempt to break his son’s spirit has failed and has actually added fuel to his fire. While speaking about fire, that’s what I meant by itch. “Why is my thing-thing burning like this?” Ha! That was a line from an old school rap song. Hey anyways, we are going backstage again as there seems to be another development.

< Backstage > 
The Brooklyn Bombers are walking as a group on a mission. Bruno says, “Looks like we gotta teach this punk another lesson!” The other BB’s say in unison, 	“Yeah!”
They walk until they found a door with James “Boogie Down” Brown’s name plate. Bruno directs, “On three. One, two, three!” He swings the door open rapidly and to their collective surprise, it’s Mikeal. Mikeal lets out a little girl-like scream as their exploding lunge came to a stop realizing he’s not their intended target. He falls off his folding chair and holds his chest like he just had a heart attack. The BB’s look at each other, then burst out laughing at the now sprawled out Mikeal.
Bruno asks the others with a smile, “You see the look on the old geezer’s face?”
The other three in the middle of their laughing manage to get out a, “Yeah!”
Bruno says, “Must be some kind of mix up. Don’t worry we’ll get him. He’s bound to show up sooner or later. Let’s go play some bones.”
The BB’s leave the door way and Mikeal, who’s now on his knees, is gasping for air.

I see what the Dollar Dollar Bills were up to now.  Poor ol Mikeal. I have to admit, it is kind of funny, but I do know how he must feel. I’ve had many doors opened unexpectedly by angry husbands/boyfriends. You can never get used to it no matter how many times it’s happened to you. Well, it’s time for a commercial break, but coming up later tonight the Rockstars will face Flaming Desire with the DDB’s as the guest refs. The winner will face the same DDB’s at Buzz S.A.W. Also, in other tag team action, Thunder and Lightning will face the Varsity All-Stars plus a whole lot more!


< Commercial Break >
The plastic eatery in your house? Almost certain. That cassette tape with the bootleg copy on it? Probably. That noisy little toy hidden between your mattress and box spring? More than likely. Those products and so much more are just some of the products we make.

Spears Plastic Company, a British Corporation and the number one supplier of plastic products throughout the world is proud to be sponsoring this year’s ‘Hoping for a Damn Miracle’  Super Music Fest at Coney Island. All proceeds will go toward today’s people who truly have close to no chance in hell to survive.

Remember Little Billy Johnson of Buttussle, Oklahoma? The poor lad was ran over and stuck under a train which cut his body in half with only the wheels of the train keeping his insides from spilling out. His barely living body still split in half is now resting in a hospital somewhere and the doctors are baffled. Well not us, we’re hoping for a damn miracle!

This year’s Music Super Fest will be the hottest ever! With such stars as R. Smelly performing a remix of the old school R & B song, “Age ain’t nuttin but a number.” AireSmith and Richard James performing “SuperPink” plus Stink 187, Christina Alligator, 5 Dudes Who Are Not GAY! And many more! Again, all the proceeds will go to the HFADM foundation.

So when you think plastic, think Spear Plastic, heads above the rest, so go out and grab the best, Spear Plastic has passed the test, since 1869.


< Backstage > 
The Brooklyn Bombers have their table up and their “hood” set in a hallway. They are playing dominoes. It appears to be a close game by the look on Bruno’s face. He studying the dominoes in play and the one’s in his hand.
Unnoticed by the BB’s, Boogie Down manages to sneak up with an unwrapped fire hose. Once he’s positioned himself, he yells, “Yo yo! Milky cereal homeboys!”
BDB sprays the unsuspecting Bombers. Men, chairs, and dominoes fly in all directions. The pressure from the hose flips the table over. Bruno tries to go after BDB but a blast from the hose sends him back to the watery floor. Bruce and Bubba try to use each other to stand up but slip and both fall into Butch. BDB continues to water them down until he’s satisfied that their spirit to get up has been broken. 
BDB shuts off the hose and runs off to the door he had propped open with a chair. On the chair was BDB’s duffle bag. His car, a 2004 Lexus peels out with Boogie Down Brown holding up the hand gesture of peace, out of the driver side window.

Oh man! Way to go Boogie Down! Things are starting to heat up around here, so I guess water’s appropriate right? Ha! I’m sure if we could see Bruno and the Bombers we would see steam coming off those guys. I’m glad he took off as fast as he did cause there’s probably gonna be hell to pay. Hey wait?! That means we got to deal with them now. Oh well, I’m safe here in my booth, es solo, but that doesn’t mean I pocket fish either. Ha! Well again, I guess we have something going on backstage but immediately after words we are going to have a match between Varsity All-Stars and Thunder and Lightning.

< Backstage >
Rage, in street clothes, kicks open a set of double doors in a back hallway. His breathing and body language indicates anger. He’s walking down the hallways of wrestler’s locker rooms. He glances at the names quickly as he strides with purpose. He momentarily stops as he finds the room he’s been looking for, Raoul’s. Rage flings the door open to find KaBoom sitting on a folding chair in street clothes.
Rage demands, “Where’s Raoul?!”
KaBoom fires back, “Like I give a damn!”
“Where’s Raoul?! Where are you hiding him?!”
KaBoom stands up and gets face to face with Rage, “I don’t know where the hell he is, he’s not my problem but I’m gonna be your problem if you don’t get the hell out of my dressing room!”
Rage hits him with a right hand and the two start exchanging blows. They grapple each other to the floor. Security teams run into the room and separate the two raging maniacs but only for a few seconds as the two go at it again.
Unexpectedly, Mean Mike comes into the room and joins in on the ruckus. More security has to come to gain control of the situation. Standing by the door is Raoul who is doubled over laughing at this. He turns and walks off once the three men have been separated. He drops his own name tag on the floor as he leaves.

I think Raoul switched his name tag with KaBoom’s. See what those damn Dollar Dollar Bills started?! I can’t believe Tex left those two in charge. In case you’re wondering why everyone seems to be in street clothes, well, it’s because there’s no official card yet. I didn’t want to mention that, but Tex usually gives me a copy before the start of the show and well, the DDB’s didn’t. A stage hand had to tell me about our first match. I hope the DDB’s get their heads out of each other’s...well, let’s just say I hope they get their acts together. I have a bad feeling that the situation with KaBoom and them is gonna get ugly, same with the Brooklyn Bombers and Boogie Down Brown. Things are no longer just hot, they are boiling!

< Varsity All-Stars Music Plays >
Well, coming to the ring for this tag team match, first accompanied by their sister, it’s the terrific twins, the dynamic duo, it’s the....Varsity All-Stars.

<Thunder and Lightning's Music Plays >
Their opponents, on a stormy night beware because you’ll always have...Thunder and Lightning!

< Match - Varsity All-Star vs Thunder And Lightning - A decent match with few momentum changes. Thunder and Lightning lose control twice because of miscommunication, the second time was costly. Lightning, after being cornered and double teamed for awhile manages to tag Thunder, who energetically deals with the Varsity Duo, sending Brad outside the ring and into his sister Karrie, and Chad to the mat in a whole lot of hurt thanks to a huge spine buster. He then points to the top turnbuckle by his partner, motioning for Lightning to climb the turnbuckle. He tags Lightning who started to come into the ring but stops as Thunder tried to explain to him what he wanted him to do. Lightning doesn’t seem to understand, probably because he doesn’t speak any  English and that’s all Thunder speaks. Chad takes advantage of this and runs from behind and nails Thunder, who bumps into Lightning who was finally climbing the turnbuckle, sending him to the floor. Thunder, stumbling backwards, falls prey to a dropping neck breaker by Chad. Chad goes for the pin, while unnoticed by the ref, Brad holds the big man’s leg down for the 1, 2, 3, pin. Thunder leaps up angrily, as both Keebles high-tail it away from the ring area along with their sister. They head toward backstage up the ramp.

A solid heads up showing by the Varsity All-Stars. Can’t say the same about Thunder and Lightning. I heard we were short a tag team because they simply never showed up, so Tex quickly put Thunder and Lightning together. But Tex should have checked to see if they were language compatible. I mean how well did he think a team could work together when they can’t communicate? That’s what tag teaming is all about! Chad didn’t have to tell Brad to hold the big guys legs, he just knew. Well, Thunder doesn’t seem too mad as they head up the ramp together but it looks as if Lightning is trying to apologize or something. Well, time for an interview with Nathan “Unique” Taylor. Maybe we’ll get a clue as to who that guy was who hit him with a chair last show.  Let’s hope Unique keeps it simple. Go ahead, Stopsign.

< Backstage > 
Mike Stopsign is standing by with an aggravated Unique, “Yeah, Unique if you could please keep it simple for all our viewers. In other words, please use words we can all understand. Who was that man who hit you with a chair at the last Final Cut?”
Unique seems more aggravated than before but says calmly, “I...don’t...know...him.” Then walks off visibly upset.
“Okay, I guess the interview is over. Back to you Wil.”

< Nathan “Unique” Taylor’s Music Plays >
Yeah, I guess the interview is over too, since he’s headed out here for his match and there he is coming to the ring. The tattooed, pierced and as of the last show, nailed. Ha! The all-around matt technician it’s...Nathan “Unique” Taylor!

< Flying Jalapeno’s Music Plays > 
His opponent in this singles match, another one of S.A.W.’s non-English speaking competitors, which is okay because he probably wouldn’t understand Unique anyways. Coming to the ring, the high flying, the top rope assassin, it’s...The Flying Jalapeno!

< Match- Nathan “ Unique” Taylor vs The Flying Jalapeno- Despite his earlier apparent angry mood during the interview, he showed no signs of being out of control during this match. The Flying J on the other hand seemed out of control as he mainly used high flying and high risk moves that almost gave him the victory but eventually cost him the match. After hitting Unique with a missile dropkick, then a tornado DDT, Unique rolled out of the ring. The Flying J runs off the ring apron and successfully lands another DDT to Unique. Next, the Flying Jalapeno set up a table and rolled the groggy Unique on top. He places a steel chair on him, then rolls back into the ring and climbs the top turnbuckle and attempts a super frog splash all way down to the area floor. Unique rolls out of the way at the last possible moment and the Flying J breaks through the table. While he lays on the arena floor, Unique rolls back into the ring for the count out victory. >

Wow! What was he trying to do? Kill Unique? Or maybe himself? If he would have landed that move, he would have likely broken both their ribs, neither would have gotten up. Now, instead, he’s the one barely getting to his feet now. Man, he’s crazy! I think if Tex knew he was that crazy, he would have probably let him fight Mikeal after all. Well, you have to admire the Flying Jalapeno’s guts. Fortunately for him, he didn’t display them all over the table. Well anyways, time to go backstage.

< Backstage - Tex’s Office >
The DDB’s are relaxing and kicked back in Tex’s office as if it were their own. Big Tyme Billy has his feet on the desk while sitting in Tex’s chair. Big Shot is sitting in a black leather chair that Rick usually sits in with his feet also propped on Tex’s desk.
The Brooklyn Bombers storm into the office causing both Bills to withdraw their feet from the desk. Bruno yells, “What kind of damn show are you guys running where we get water hosed like it’s the damn 60’s?!”
The other BB’s say in unison, “Yeah!”
Big Tyme replies, “Well, you guys did bring this upon yourselves...”
Big Shot adds, “...and yeah, you have to admit, it made for good entertainment.”
The DDB’s share a good little laugh, in which the BB’s don’t.
Bruno yells, “You want us to bring some hurt upon you?! That will be good for entertainment!”
The remaining BB’s say in unison, “Yeah!” as they all lean over the desk toward the DDB’s.
Big Tyme says nervously, “Naw, that won’t be good for us...I mean for ratings.”
Big Shot asks, “So, what exactly do you want us to do about the water hose incident? Boogie Down has already left the building.”
Bruno says, “Oh, we already knew the coward left the building but we need to vent out our frustration, so give us matches, tonight! All of us! No more overlooking the Brooklyn Bombers!”
The other BB’s yell, “Yeah!”
Big Shot tries to explain, “But we already have the show planned out, Tex has...”
Bruno cuts him off, “Damn with that! Unless you want us to take out our frustrations on you two!” The BB’s close in even closer, making the DDB’s even more uncomfortable.
Big Shot says, “Yeah, we should be able to work something out.”
Bruno replies, “You better!” All the BB’s back up and head out.
Big Tyme says softly to Big Shot, “We are short staffed already when it comes to wrestlers tonight and there’s four of them.”
Big Shot smiles and says just as low, “Yeah, there are four of them and only two of us, so we have to figure out something.”

Looks like the Bombers are trying to run the show now. Demanding matches and all. I wonder what Tex had planned. Even though he’s been trying to deviously take the title from The Stud seemingly every show, he has planned some excellent shows.  But it looks like we might not ever find out what was supposed to happen, and now I just hope we can find out what’s gonna happen tonight. I feel sorry for anyone who gets into a match with those guys tonight, they seem hot, really hot and not the kind of hot like the chick I was with last night, but the other kind of hot. The bad kind. Well, this week’s Cutting Edge is being brought to you by Fruit Booties Candy. The tasty little jewel-shaped snack that explodes in your mouth and in your hand if you’re not careful. Wow, that candy sounds like me. Ha! Well, it’s time for an interview, this time with the Varsity All-Stars, who were victorious earlier tonight against Thunder and Lightning. Take it away, Simon.

< Backstage > 
The Varsity All-Stars are standing by in their wrestling gear, apparently waiting for Simon to show up.
“This is crap! Not only does S.A.W.  management seem to be looking over us and ignoring us, but now even the interviewer gives us no respect!” says Chad.
Brad agrees, “No respect.”
Karrie tries to sooth them, “No. Don’t worry guys. You’re overreacting.”
“Are we?” questions Brad rudely.
Simon approaches and bumps into Chad by accident, as he was looking down at his notes, “Oops...sorry, you must be the JV All-Stars right?”
Taking Simon’s mistake as another show of disrespect by S.A.W.’s personnel, Chad storms off, pouting like a child.
“See what we mean!” yells Brad as he follows after his brother.
Karrie turns toward Simon, “See what you’ve done?” then she gives chase to her brothers and tries to calm them down.
Simon stands looking around trying to figure out what just happened. He looks into the camera. “What?” He does a breath-check. Satisfied that his breath is fresh, but unsatisfied with not understanding what just happened, he asks again, “What?”

He truly is clueless, ain’t he? Isn’t that like the third or fourth interview he messed up? Also, what was wrong with the Varsity All-Stars? So what he messed their names up.  Did they have to run off like small children? It seems as if Karrie is going to have her hands full. On that subject, I wouldn’t mind having her hands full with me. Ha! Well, I guess the DDB’s have figured out what they’re gonna do with the Bomber’s because we are going back to Tex’s office.

< Backstage- Tex’s Office >
Both of the Dollar Dollar Bills are standing in front of Tex’s desk. Big Tyme says, “Thank you, Wil. We managed to rearrange the show a little and have managed to get three of the Brooklyn Bomber matches and we are currently working on the fourth. The matches starting after this announcement are the following. Butch vs Mikeal, Bruce vs Cashless Clayton and Bubba vs Charles Choker.”

Big Shot closes with a smile, “Thank you for your time.”

Thank you? They’re being awfully polite. They probably don’t have an opponent for Bruno yet. Checking the roster, there’s not too many more wrestlers left around who are actually here tonight. Knowing Bruno, he’s probably not gonna be happy until he personally kick someone’s butt.

< Cutting Edge Intro Music Plays >
Well coming to the ring and probably dreading any kind of match with any member of the Brooklyn Bombers, is the multi-titled of the past and the multi-wrinkled of the present. It’s...Mikeal!

< Brooklyn Bomber’s Music Plays >
I guess we could call this part one of the four part Brooklyn Bombers mini series, coming to the ring, one member of the most violent, most upset cliques in the world today. Especially tonight...it’s Butch!

< Match - Butch vs Mikeal - Mikeal is visibly scared at the start of the match and like a shark smelling blood, Butch has little difficulty with Mikeal. The end of the match comes when Mikeal attempted to slam Butch, but a solid forearm to the back ended that attempt. He picks Mikeal up and “Brooklyn Bomb’s” him, the Bombers finishing turnbuckle power bomb. Butch wins easily. >

The Brooklyn Bomber’s nightmare continues for Mikeal. Beating after beating. Well, at least this time he fought back, well kinda. If that’s what you wanna call that feeble attempt. Anyways, it’s been awhile since I’ve told you fans a story about my recent escapades. Well, after the last Cutting Edge, I went back to my hotel room and low and behold, there was a fruit basket, a bottle of Dom, a foot stool, and a pair of sexy Swedish twins! Well, I took the foot stool and...

< Cutting Edge’s Music Plays > 
Oh well, I guess I’ll have to finish that story some other time, cause it’s time for the second installment of “As the Bombers Turn.” Coming to the ring, the homeless, the poor, the hungry, it’s...Cashless Clayton! Damn, he looks dead tired before the match has even started.



< Brooklyn Bombers Music Plays > 
His opponent in this singles match. One of the Brooklyn Bombers and if you ask him if they’re the toughest clique here, he most likely would respond, “Yeah!” it’s...Bruce!

< Match - Bruce vs Cashless Clayton - Total mismatch. The simplest strikes drop Cashless down and he seems to struggle to get back to his feet. Bruce seems to sense this but doesn’t care and takes advantage of his human wrestling dummy. A match that could have ended in two minutes lasted almost ten. Finally, after displaying his arsenal of moves without any real resistance, he finished the match with the Brooklyn Bomb, gaining the 1, 2, 3. >

That was totally uncalled for! He didn’t offer any resistance. Wet toilet paper trying to stop a Porsche going 180 offered more resistance. I’ve been joking before, but maybe he’s really homeless. Naw, couldn’t be, even hobos put up more of a fight then he did and trust me, I would know. One time I dropped a twenty in a can, thinking it was a one, right. I had to go at it with the hobo for about ten minutes before he finally dropped the twenty. Well, at least we know he’s alive, he’s rolling out of the ring. Bruce could have let up a little but then he wouldn’t be a jerk if he had, right? Well, I wonder how the DDB’s are doing in finding a fourth person.

< Charles Choker Music Plays >
Well, I hope we have a worthy opponent for Bruno and for Bubba, because these first two matches have been sub par, I hate to say. Anyway, making his way to the ring, the all mighty hick, the roughneck redneck, it’s...Charles Choker!

< Brooklyn Bomber’s Music Plays >
In the third match in a row featuring a Bomber, coming to the ring, a man who you could call a “yes” man. Of the Brooklyn Bombers, it’s...Bubba!

< Match - Bubba vs Charles Choker - A solid and entertaining match. Both of these men, being power type wrestlers, provided the fans with a whole lot of “ooh’s.” After a powerful clothesline, Bubba picks Choker up and tries to finish him off with the Brooklyn Bomb, but Choker counters with a back drop, sending him over the top rope. Bubba manages to land on the apron and grabs Choker by the back of his head and slams it into the turnbuckle. Dazed, Choker falls prey to a top rope shoulder block. Then he lifts Chocker and finally lands the Brooklyn Bomb for the pin fall victory. >

< Backstage > 
The Dollar Dollar Bills are both walking down the hallway with concerned looks on their faces. They are arguing with each other about how they still haven’t found a fourth person. They have their bags with them and appear to be leaving the show.
“Come on, hurry up, Billy,” says Big Shot Bill.
“I can’t believe we couldn’t find anyone.”
“Oh well, let’s just get the hell out of here fast.”
As they get close to the exit, Billy notices someone, “Hey, Bill look!” He points at someone out of view of the camera. Billy smiles then walks over toward the mystery man, “Hey you! You got a match in five minutes, after the commercial break, got it?”
Both Bills take a quick step back, “Okay, I guess that means yes,” says Big Tyme Billy.
As the DDB’s head back toward Tex’s office, Billy says, “I thought he had the night off?”
Big Shot replies, “He does and he doesn’t.” They both smile.

< Commercial Break > 
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We are back! Live from the sold out King’s Stadium here in Morristown. And this is the last match before our main event and our last match of the seemingly Brooklyn Bombers miniseries. So far the night has belonged to them, they’re 3 - 0 and with the exception of getting all wet earlier at the hand of Boogie Down Brown, things couldn’t be going better. Bruno, the vocal leader of the Brooklyn Bombers, is in the ring awaiting his opponent. Who could it be? Well, we are about to find out.

< The Stud’s Music Plays >
What?! The Stud’s supposed to have the night off. Oh my... apparently he does, as Crowd Control, his bodyguard, makes his way to the ring. I now understand what the DDB’s meant and Bruno doesn’t look to happy about this. Ha! Oh wow, he just attacked Crowd Control as he entered the ring. The match is underway!

< Match - Crowd Control vs Bruno. Bruno is one of the strongest wrestlers in S.A.W., yet his blows seem to only anger the big man at first, but eventually they take their toll as Bruno backs him into a corner. An attempt to fling Crowd Control into the opposite turnbuckle is reversed and Bruno almost does a full flip as he is short-armed clothes lined. For the next few minutes Bruno is tossed around the ring like a rag doll, even rolling out of the ring once trying to break up Crowd Control’s momentum, which doesn’t work. Frustrated, Bruno rolls back in again and resorts to street tactics. After distracting the ref’s attention away from the match, a poke in the eye and a stiff straight kick to the groin drops Crowd Control to one knee, and as he starts to stand Bruno nails him with his finisher, “ The Decapitator” power clothesline dropping him to the matt. Bruno attempts to pin him but with unexpected and incredible strength Crowd Control kicks out at two sending Bruno a few feet off him. Bruno can’t believe he survived his finisher, the shock is evident on his face. Bruno throws a feeble punch which is blocked as CC grabs Bruno by his throat to chokeslam him, the other Bombers run to his rescue. Crowd Control notices and leaves Bruno and attacks the entering Bombers but the sheer number overwhelm him. The crowd erupts, as The Stud, in street clothes runs to the ring with a steel chair in tow. He clears the ring of the Bombers. Crowd Control wins by DQ. > 

Look at them high tail it out of there. Four versus two and they’re running. Well, you can’t really count The Stud or Crowd Control as one person though and not only was Bruno shocked he kicked out, so was I! It wasn’t even a close three count. Wow! I’m glad I don’t have a bodyguard like that; the women would never get past him. Not even the resourceful ones like last night. Man, talk about resourceful, phew! Well, Bruno and his boys wanted a match and man, did they get one. Well, it’s time for our main event.

< Dollar Dollar Bills Music Plays > 
Well, here comes the self-appointed guest referees, the Dollar Dollar Bills. Standing there posing with the title belts and posing is right. They didn’t earn those belts. At least everyone with a title has wrestled but not them, at least not in a real tag team match. Why haven't they started the match? They’re just standing there. I guess they have something to say.

< On the ring apron > 
The Dollar Dollar Bills are standing with tight blue jeans and zebra striped shirts. Big Tyme has a mic. They both are still sporting their Tex tribute hats. Trying to sound southern, Big Tyme says, “Well partners, we are gonna be your guest referees to make sure this match runs smooth and fair.”
Big Shot continues in his best Texan accent, “Even though we aren’t Texans, we still believe in giving everyone a fair shot. So in the sake of fairness, tonight we will make sure even the telecast runs smoothly and fair. So tonight, Wil...”
Big Tyme finishes his sentence, “...you’re guest co-commentator will be...Cyn Cash!”
Cyn emerges all grins from behind the backstage curtain.

What the hell?! Oh hell no! This is a one man booth, kinda like those quarter booths. She’s really on the way down here! Oh, this is an outrage. Wil loves the ladies but not the scabies. Man, me and Tex gotta talk, this was not part of the deal. Here at S.A.W. I work solo. Hey! You sit over there and don’t touch any buttons or any knobs, especially mine. Ha!
Very funny Wil, maybe next time I’ll laugh.
What? When you get your nude pics back? Ha! 
Anyways, jerk boy, the DDB’s are in the ring.
N. S. S.
What? N. S. S.? 
No shit, Sherlock!
Hey, this wasn’t my idea!
I know, you’re blonde, you only have two ideas a month and both usually are “Duh.”

< Rockstars Music Plays >

Coming to the ring, a team stuck in the 80’s and really need to get unstuck. Two ‘that 80’s show’ rejects, it’s Rad Brad and Far Out Phil, it’s the...Rockstars!
Not bad, but I guess it's not that hard when your mouths not full. Ha!
Jerk!
You wanna what me off?
Anyways!

< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays > 

Well, go ahead, Cynthia, with the introduction.
Oh...No thank you.
What? Mad at them cause they have better make-up on than you? Ha!
Just introduce them!

Coming to the ring for this tag team match, with the winner getting a shot at the tag team titles at Buzz S.A.W.  our first Pay Per View. It’s the team that need no introduction, cause you’ll notice them right away. It’s the team of Gregory A. Young and Frances A. Gaines, it’s...Flaming Desire!

< Match - Flaming Desire vs Rockstars - The match is a solid showcase of each teams’ tag team flowing teamwork, with the match shockingly being refereed fairly and equally by Big Shot, who’s in the ring and Big Tyme who’s outside the ring. That is until the Rockstars capitalized on a rare mistake and lands their finisher “Chart Drop” the double team top rope move that the DDB’s claim to use but under a different name. As Rad Brad tries for the pin, Big Shot is talking to Big Tyme obviously ignoring the pin attempt. As Rad Brad gets up to gain Big Shot’s attention, Big Tyme starts to argue with Far Out Phil outside the ring. Rad Brad turns around to catch two solid rights to the jaw and reverse suplex, setting him up for their double team finisher, “Bottom’s Up.” Big Shot, in the ring, counts to three really fast, while Big Tyme distracts Far Out Phil from what’s going on in the ring. Flaming Desire wins and the DDB’s hastily exit toward backstage as the Rockstars gather themselves in the ring.

Flaming Desire wins! Flaming Desire wins! Flaming Desire...
What are you doing, skank?! That’s my line!
You’re like the world’s biggest jerk!
And damn proud of it too, even though I finished second place, I still got a trophy out of it though. Anyways! Flaming Desire gets the shot at the tag titles, even if they only kinda earned it. The Brooklyn Bombers are probably gonna kill BDB when they catch him, and expect a whole lot more at the next Final Cut this Friday. This is Wil B. Creamin.
And Cyn Cash.
Who’ll give you a rash. Ha! Anyways, the one man show will be back for mo, this has been a Sensational American Wrestling presentation of the Cutting Edge, see you next week, love ya and God Bless!
Bye
Shut Up!

S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 6 (The Final Cut)

Welcome people all around the world, I’m the host who gets the girl. Yes,, it’s me, it’s me, Wil B... Creamin that is! I’m welcoming you to S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling as we present the Final Cut, live from the sold out Venture Ah-ha Coliseum here in Tenney City, Wilkin County, Minnesota. Tonight’s show should fit our name. Sensational! At the last Cutting Edge, BDB soaked the BB’s, the BB’s threatened the DDB’s and Cynthia tried to give me, the heebie geebies! Ha! Last show was crazy and this show promises to be even crazier. Tonight, we have Tex, tonight we have Rick, tonight we have The Stud, and of course tonight you’ll have me, especially if you’re in the lobby, say around 10 to 11-ish...

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays >
Well, I guess I’ll have to finish that one later since Tex and the complete Rich Inc are making their way down to the ring. Yes fans, that is a neck brace Tex is wearing. He’s been saying backstage that he has to wear that because of The Stud. He’s been saying that he’s not upset with The Stud, since it happened in the ring and he knew the risk. Yeah right, Tex not mad at The Stud? Ha! Well, they’re in the ring.

< In the ring > 
Rick’s wearing a black tee shirt with “Rick Rules” on the front in white writing. He’s standing next to his father, Tex. The Dollar Dollar Bills do their usual poses for the crowd. Once all four are standing near the center of the ring, Tex speaks into his mic, “Welcome fans! I know you all missed me.”
The crowd boos loudly.
“Anyways! Thanks to that damn Stud, I was forced to sit out a week from my beloved show, but I ain’t mad at him. I left the show in the good and capable hands of the Dollar Dollar Bills...” He pauses as the DDB’s say, “ Thank You,” to Tex.
“...but it seems that the Brooklyn Bombers couldn’t follow the program and decided to take programming into their own hands.” He continues as he painfully labors around the ring. “So, I never got to see my master plan develop for the second time thanks to those four idiots. Well, I do have to say it was good entertainment to see them get wet by James ‘Boogie Down’ Brown.”
The crowd cheers.
Tex continues, “Now, I haven’t been in school for a while, but if my math skills still serve me right, it was four of them confronting the two Dollar Dollar Bills which is a two to one ratio.”
The DDB’s  seem to be doing the numbers in their heads as they do the math with their fingers. Rick stands still, shaking his head in agreement with his father’s statement.
“And since I remember how they expressed they were being overlooked, and...since I’m a hard working Texan who believes everyone deserves a fair shot. Tonight, all the Bombers will get their wish, and tonight they all will be in matches that they should be familiar with...two on one matches!” 
He pauses as the crowd takes it all in.
“Butch will take one the Varsity All-Stars, Bubba will face Flaming Desire, Bruce will take on the Rockstars, and Bruno will face....the Dollar Dollar Bills!”
The DDB’s put on their best mean faces, which are more comical than fierce. 
Big Tyme grabs the mic briefly, “We’ll see how you like two on one!”
Big Shot says mocking the Bombers, “Yeah!” The DDB’s share a laugh as Tex smiles, then he winces in pain and reaches for his neck brace.
“Now fans, as you know, our first ever Pay Per View, Buzz S.A.W. is right around the corner and has already sold out the Blamamo Stadium in San Antonio. I want to make sure that not only will this be the best Pay Per View wrestling event ever. I want to make sure it’s … sensational!”
The crowd cheers.
“Also, since the main event is usually the biggest match at any show and it stands to be the biggest in S.A.W. ’s history, the moment my son wins the Heavyweight championship from The Stud.”
The crowd boos.
“As a quality control effort and to assure that Rick and The Stud are in tip top form for the main event, both will be competing every show until then. Starting tonight, Rick will face a man who’s had enough gold to fill Ft. Knox, the multi-talented Mikeal. While The Stud will have a less experienced opponent, in a non title match...James ‘Boogie Down’ Brown!”
As the crowd reacts, Tex continues, “Brooklyn Bombers, if you interfere with any matches tonight, you’ll be collecting unemployment tomorrow, which you guys are probably accustomed to anyway. Now, hit our music!”

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays >

Wow, talk about news! Good news or bad news, just depends on who you are and how you look at it. For the Brooklyn Bombers, all bad news. On top of all getting two on one matches, their worst enemy gets tonight’s main event. Yes, it’s non-title, but if he can beat The Stud, just imagine the doors it’ll open for Boogie Down. Talk about good news. Also, what’s up with this so called ‘quality control’? The Stud gets BDB while Rick gets Mikeal? Quality? Ha! No offense to Mikeal but you haven’t been a threat since Sonny and Cher split up. Oh man, tonight is gonna be fun. Tonight, we got the lady wrestlers, and as you probably noticed with Rick, we are revealing some of S.A.W.’s first ever apparel. Some wrestlers will be wearing their signature shirts just like Rick’s. Well, time to go backstage.

< Backstage>
Gaby is standing in the hallway leaning against a wall using the payphone. “Yeah girl, we’re gonna get more time, well, that’s what Tex promised but you know how Texan’s are. Uh huh, just like Minnesotans, oh girl, I knew that, but get this, it’s gossip time girl. You remember how when the show was going off last week and Cyn...phillis and Willy got into an argument and he said he won a jerk contest? Uh huh, yeah girl, he really was, and he really did finish second! Yup, and you know that big-ape like girl Ivana and that goofy always grinning pony tailed Nat? Well rumor is that they’re really good wrestlers because they used to be men. For reals girl, you heard me right, men. I know. Oh, guess what KaBoom’s real name is? Eggbert Highwater. For reals, that’s what I heard. Anyways, so did you get to watch the Old and the Tasteless or Fantasy Hospital? Oh girl! Let me tell you what I heard about Duke and Gloria, oh man...

What was she talking about? I mean, I did place second in that contest but how did she know that? Nat and Ivana, transformed men? I can kinda see it with Ivana, no offense Ivana, but Nat? Naw, I just don’t buy it. She’s too cute. Not to say that Ivana isn’t cute in that “in an ex-construction worker turned biker chick way.” Ha! and Eggbert? I would be angry and explosive too if I had a name like that. Well, it’s probably not true, remember it is just what she said it was, gossip, but then again, she was right on the money with me. Hmmm... Cyn - phillis? Ha!

< Nat Mc Miller’s Music Plays > 
There’s one of the ladies now and no she doesn’t look like a man. No way she could have been a man before. She’s sporting her new shirt, In case you can’t read it from where you’re at, the front reads “What time is it?” and on the back it reads “McMiller Time” with a silhouette of her performing her finisher. Well, it’s the cutie with much bootie...Nat McMiller!

< Cutting Edge’s Music Plays >
Making her S.A.W. debut. Making her way to the ring, the short, and stocky like Rocky. Caramel complected and southern dialected, it’s...Tonya “The Bull” Dozier!

< Match - Nat McMiller vs Tonya “The Bull” Dozier - The Bull, the stronger of the two ladies, tried to keep the match slower and wear Nat down with reverse chin locks, head locks, etc but Nat was too energetic to let this happen for long as she escaped most of these attempts. About four minutes into the match, Nat ducks a clothesline and dropkicks Dozier in her knees. When Dozier is back up standing, she is nailed with a standing drop kick followed by a running bull dog, setting her up for Nat’s finisher “McMiller Time” which get a huge crowd pop and gains her the easy 1, 2, 3. >

Man, does she get elevated! She almost got the same crowd pop from the replay of her finisher as she did when she did the move only moments before. That’s gotta be a chick, look at that smile. I mean I’ve seen some really convincing...people, who looked the look and walked the walk but something always seemed a little off, now Dozier on the other 
hand, ummm...Ha! Anyways, we are heading to a commercial break and when we get back, it will be the start of another Brooklyn Bomber miniseries, this one will be a two for one show.

< Commercial Break>
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Guess who’s back? It’s me, Wil B. Creamin, the one who has the ladies dreaming and their fellas steaming.  Let’s go to the next match.

< Brooklyn Bombers Music Plays > 
Coming to the ring for this handicap two on one match, in what I’m gonna call ‘Brooklyn Bomber’s Retribution Round Up.’ Ha! Here he comes, one of the infamous group that has cost Tex a title and a show, it’s...Butch!

< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays >
His opponents in this match, a team that Butch probably hopes he won’t have his hands full with, Ha! Where there’s flames, there’s Gregory A. Young, Frances A. Gaines, Flaming Desire!

< Match - Flaming Desire vs Butch - 2 vs 1 tag format - A short and funny match. Butch seemed reluctant to lock up with Greg, even though he has a clear size advantage. So Greg tagged in Frances who runs into the same problem. Butch just shakes his head in disgust. He turns to leave the ring and Frances snaps and attacks him from behind, as he yells, “No one backs out on us!” So the match finally started and Butch puts up a good fight until out of instinct he goes to the corner to tag, but having no one there, he turns to fall victim to a well-timed drop kick. Then Greg lifts him and nails him with a reverse suplex setting him up for their tag team finisher “Bottom’s Up” and the 1, 2, 3, victory. >

Who could blame him? Well, it was kinda funny seeing a man who acts so tough afraid to lock it up with them. I wonder if the DDB’s will be the same way at the Pay Per View when they have to lock it up with Flaming Desire. What am I talking about?! They’re that way now. Ha! Even tonight, yet again, they don’t have a real tag match. The Bombers can blame this situation on Bruno, who’s mainly to blame since he brought this upon them last week. Demanding things, who did he think he was? Jimmy Carey? Anyways, time for another Bomber’s match.

< Brooklyn Bomber’s Music Plays > 
Well, the next victim, in this retribution series. Coming to the ring, of the Brooklyn Bombers, it’s...Bruce!

< Rockstar’s Music Plays > 
Making their way to the ring for this two on one tag match. The team that wants you to wake them up before you go go, it’s Rad Brad, it’s Far Out Phil, it’s...the Rockstars!

< Match - Rockstars vs Bruce - 2 vs 1 Tag Format - A decent match in which Bruce simply couldn’t win. The RS are a solid tag team, that tagged at either just the right offensive time or as momentum drifted. Bruce managed to control the match for about two minutes, until Brad bounces off the ropes after ducking a clothes line attempt and landed a flying forearm. A scoop slam sets him up for their double team finisher, Chart Drop, for the easy 1, 2, 3, win. >

Come on, did anyone really think he had a chance? This is like last week versus the quick fill ins, except these are the best tag teams S.A.W. has to offer, and perhaps even some of the best that the world has to offer. Since Tex eliminated the Bombers ace card, cheating, they don’t stand a chance. Serves them right though. Well, this presentation of S.A.W.’s Final Cut is being brought to you by the Hoping for a Damn Miracle Foundation. Where we are realists, so we hope for a damn miracle, even when there only seems to be a snowball’s chance in hell. Let’s hope together. Donate and Hope for a Damn Miracle. Ouch! Ha! Hoping huh? Well, so are the Brooklyn Bombers. And actually so am I. Yes, me Wil B. Creamin, is hoping Simon doesn’t mess up this interview with Tex. Hope with me fans, take it away Simon.

< Backstage > 
Simon is standing next to Tex and Rick in a closed off parking lot. Tex looks to be in a lot of discomfort with his neck brace.
Simon says, “So Tex, the question on everybody’s mind is how long will these ‘tough love’ matches against your son Rick continue?”
Rick turns his head suddenly with a puzzled look, Tex also looks puzzled, he tries to clarify, “You mean Bobby right?”
Simon looks at his notes, “No. I clearly have it written here, Rick is the loser with only one real victory and Bobby has the title and several wins. No one in their right mind would favor Rick.” Simon smiles, not realizing what he just said and to whom.
Tex puts his arm in front of Rick as he takes a step toward Simon. Tex fires off, “You damn idiot! This is Rick! It’s my other son, Bobby, that I’m having problems with. Damn it boy, can’t you get anything right?!”
“Hm, hm, hm...” Simon drops his notes.
“If you mess up one more interview, you’re fired! Understand that?! Now get the hell out of my face!”
Simon was gathering his notes but the strong tone Tex used for emphasis makes Simon quickly scamper off without them.
Tex consoles Rick, “It’s okay, he’s not gonna be here much longer. I can just feel it.”
Tex turns toward the camera. Mean Mike Ford is walking in the background behind them, “Bobby, listen carefully, if you’ve learned your lesson, come on home, son. We forgive you son, ain’t that right, Rick?”
Rick doesn’t give any sign of acknowledgement or agreement.
Tex looks at him surprised and pleas, “Rick, come on son. I know you can forgive him. Come on Rick.”
Rick opens his mouth but before a word came out, Mean Mike is speared by KaBoom who suddenly appears in camera view.
“Whoa! What the hell?!” Tex screams as he and Rick move out of the area. Mean Mike is rolling around on the ground holding his midsection. KaBoom stands over him, breathing ferociously with his eyes glazed and locked on his downed prey. He leans forward almost face to face with the withering Mean Mike, then yells, “KaPoww!”
He stomps him in the midsection and walks off.

< Backstage - Dressing Room >  
Thunder and Lightning are watching a monitor and saw what just happened to Mean Mike. Thunder says, “Man, I’m glad I don’t have some of the problems most of the other wrestlers here have.” Then he turns to his non-English speaking partner, “ That’s good because you are enough for me right now, anyways.”
Lightning doesn’t respond.
“Hey, let’s go get something to eat. No matter what language you speak, eating is universal,” says Thunder with a chuckle, “So, how about chicken, my Spanish friend?” He then motions like he’s eating, hoping Lightning can figure this out.
Lightning understands and replies, “Donde?”
“Dunday? What’s that mean? Must be Spanish for Donald’s. No Dunday, chicken instead.” The big man flaps his arms and clucks like a chicken.
Again Lightning understand and replies, “Pollo?”
Thunder, confused, smells under his arm, then his sleeve and replies, “No polo, it’s Adidas Cologne.”
Lightning shakes his head in frustration and decides to try to make it simple,   “Taco?”
Thunder lifts his head and smiles, “Yes, I mean ‘see,’ taco will work.”
Lightning smiles also, then they both head out.

I don’t even know where to start. KaBoom almost went through Mean Mike with that spear. Looks like it really hurt too. I just know that those two are gonna do some serious hurting to each other eventually. Can you believe this all started over a towel? Mean Mike used KaBoom’s by accident and was sent to the hospital by KaBoom at our first show ever. A stinking towel, for crying out loud, and now I don’t think either man will throw in the towel. Also, I’m wondering how much longer Thunder and Lightning will be able to co-exist before one of them throws in the towel? Either that, or throw in copies of Spanish/English for dummies, Ha! Man, tacos sound kinda good right now. Actually, I’m in the mood for some chicken wings. I might have to stop by F. L. E. D.  after the show, Not! Ha! No bearded ladies for the Creamster.

< Brooklyn Bombers Music Plays >
Well, the saga continues. Coming to the ring for another retribution beat down. One of the Brooklyn Bombers, the former tier bosses of their respected prison unit...it’s Butch!

< Varsity All-Stars Music Plays >
Coming to the ring for this two on one match-up, accompanied by their sexy cheerleading sister, Karrie. The team that means the best high school has to offer. It’s Brad, it’s Chad, the Keebles, it’s...The Varsity All-Stars!

< Match - Varsity All-Stars vs Butch - 2 vs 1 tag format - Butch seemed more game than the previous two BB’s but the third wheel of VA, Karrie, was more than just eye candy. After gaining momentum with powerful shoulder blocks on both male Keebles, Butch clothelines Chad over the top rope and was headed toward Brad until Karrie grabbed him by the boot, he shrugs her off, turns and flips her off. When he turns back he fails victim to a spine buster by Brad. Next, they finish him off with their double team finisher “Varsity Blues” for the pin fall victory. >

< Backstage - Outside Tex’s Office > 
Rick had just shut the door to Tex’s office and entered the hall when a tall muscular built woman cuts him off. Rick looks shocked as he stares at this Amazon of a woman wearing his trademark “Rick Rules” black tee-shirt.
“Finally, Rick, I get to experience you first hand. You’re so much like me. Dark, troubled, yet controlled. A man who fears nothing or no one. We could be perfect together.” She cracks a twisted smile that makes Rick more uncomfortable as he backs up against the wall as she closes in. He says nothing.
“Rick, dig deep inside yourself, you’ll see I’m right. You’re evil to the core, that’s why we would be perfect together. Yes, perfect. We could rule this pathetic organization together. Forget the man you call father and serve a new one. Be my master.”
Rick’s eyes opened wide on that last comment, while that grin has never left her face, “Think about it, Rick. You’ll see me again, until then, dig deep inside. You will see we are meant to be together.” She walks off leaving a puzzled Rick leaning against a wall.

Security! Security! Nut cases on the loose, no there’s not jock straps dangling in the back. Ha! Seriously, what the hell was all that about? I’ve never seen her here before. She called Rick evil and wants to be with him? Talk about loony toon. She was huge but in a scary way. Wow! Does Ivana know she has a genetically swollen sister? I mean, she made Rick look out of shape and Rick is very physically cut. Whoa! This show gets crazier and crazier each show. What’s next? Charlie Manson on work release selling cotton candy for us? Crazy, crazy, crazy.

< Final Cut’s Music Plays >
Okay, back to action, wow! She’s a cutie, kinda tall, but hey, Wil knows how to use a foot stool. Wait? I never finished that story did I? Well, don’t have time for it now,  as the cute green eyed bandit enters the ring, it’s...Neelie!

<Ivana’s Music Plays>  
Isn’t that the Soviet National Anthem? I always thought she kinda...well, looked like an ex-dude but naw she’s gotta be a woman.  A whole lot of woman but in that good wrestling way. Well anyways, coming to the ring, the sickle and the other thingee, you know the hammer thing.  Anyways, it’s......Ivana!

<Match-Ivana vs Neelie- Unfortunately, Neelie provided little more than eye candy.  Due to Ivana’s no-nonsense style of wrestling, Neelie was simply over-matched. Fortunately, Ivana didn’t play around with her and finished her off with her finisher “A2S” top-rope missile dropkick for a convincing victory.  After the win, Ivana picks up Neelie and throws her out of the ring, then climbs the turnbuckles and thrust both her hands up in a celebrative pose.>


<Commercial>
A man with a rugged voice and even more rugged beard says, “Hey fellas, getting tired of all those new age soft-man products? Tired like I am of smelling strawberries in your bathroom, when that smell should be in your kitchen or garden? Both places a real man would never be caught dead in? Well, unless he was fixing the sink or his garden was the Amazon rain forest!
Well, I’m here as a representative of real men around the world and a representative of Men ‘n’ Men products.  Yeah, the name could make you a little skeptical, I was, but once I tried their newest product I became as devoted as a battered housewife.
The new product that I’m raving about is Men ‘n’ Men’s Aftershave for Real Men, with scents real men can appreciate, and about damn time too! Who wants to smell shower fresh from an aftershave? Washing your butt gets the same result. Musk? What the hell is that anyways? Sounds too much like musty to me.  Baby powder? How much more of a wuss could a man become? Do I need to go on? Get my point?
Well Men ‘n’ Men brings you smells a man can truly appreciate such as, New Car, Smoking Cherry Pipe, Hickory Smoke, several different Imported Beers, and my personal favorite and their best seller, Woman’s Natural Juices. Can you image a more pleasant smell right under your nose? That’s if you’re a real man of course. So wimps, go out and pick up your berry-licious aftershave, wuss!  Real men, go out and pick up your bottle of Men ‘n’ Men aftershave available at your local grocer, convenience store, gas station or nudie bar. I would say thanks, but real men don’t. Bye!

 ....I’m speechless...women’s natural juices? Wow! Where did Tex find these sponsors?  I mean, I can’t complain too much. I bet people say or think the same thing about me, but what? Me worry? I would go mad if I did. Ha! Never mind if you didn’t get it. I got millions of them. Anyways, I got Tex wrapped around my finger, if you only knew. Well, it’s time for an interview with the lucky man sharing tonight’s main event spotlight with the World Champion, The Stud. It’s BDB, standing by with Cynthia.  Take her away officer. I mean, take it away, Cynthia.

<Backstage> 
Cynthia is standing next to James “Boogie Down” Brown.  She looks upset and doesn’t seem to had noticed the camera is on.  Cyn says, “That damn hoe! Who does she think she is showing up here? Damn gorilla.”
BDB says, “Yo, what’s the dilly-o? BDB git his fifteen or wazzup schoo-chee?”
Cyn snaps, “Schoo-Chee? What the hell is that?”
“A stank hoochie.”
“Why, I never!”
“Waz? Play wit da ding ding wizzout da bling bling?”

Cyn gets ready to speak when BDB put his hand in her face, “Brickwall. You be illin so I be outie 5000, gee.”  Then he walks off.

The ding ding and bling bling? Ha! He cracks me up. Yet once again, I get a good laugh at Cynthia’s expense.  Oh man, I have so much fun here.  I really wish you fans at home could be here with me, especially the cute ones, women of course! No stool sharing here, buddy. Ha!

<Brooklyn Bombers Music Plays> 
Well, it’s time for the final member of the Brooklyn Bombers to get his lumps. Coming to the ring looking as disgruntled as ever.  The vocal leader of Brooklyn’s finest. Well, depending on how you look at it.  Of the Brooklyn Bombers, it’s....Bruno!

<Dollar Dollar Bills Music Plays>
It’s the tag team champions of the world!...In a non-title match. Ha! Making their way to the ring, it’s Big Tyme Billy and Big Shot Bill....it’s the Dollar Dollar Bills!

< Match - Dollar Dollar Bills vs Bruno - 2 vs 1 tag format - Bruno wastes no time and charged Big Tyme while they posed with the belts, starting the match. Despite Big Shot’s constant interference, Bruno manages to focus on Big Tyme and not allowing a tag for most of the match. Once Big Shot finally tagged in, he is nailed by a clothes line, Bruno bounced off the rope but Big Tyme had revived enough to trip Bruno. This finally turned the tide. They double team Bruno and execute well-timed tag teammanship proving their title worthy abilities.  They worked Bruno over pretty good. Big Tyme, who was the man on the outside, grabs a mic, “It’s time to see S.A.W.’s real deal tag team move, the Stock Market Crash”. As soon as he rolled back in the ring, all the lights in the arena cut off and when they come back on four mysterious people cloaked in all black were standing outside the ring at each corner post. Both DDB’s look curiously along with the ref at these four. Bruno trying to get to his feet gets a quick boot to his face by Big Tyme. Once again the lights go out and this time when they come back on Big Tyme is laid out in the ring and Big Shot is staggering woozily, that is until Bruno rising from his feet nails him with his finisher “The Decapitator.” The ref looks puzzled. Bruno yells, “Count!” as he pins Big Shot. Bruno gets the pin fall victory. >

They’re back?! Whoa, I know Tex and the DDB’s didn’t expect that! No one could of. I thought we’d seen the last of those four the last time they were here. The last time they were here Tex accused the Bombers of being them and I kinda thought they could be but with Bruno in the ring how could that be possible?  What if they show up at the Pay Per View and interfere with a match?! Oh man. Now Bruno has defeated the DDB’s, not a good way for them to head into the Pay Per View. Crazy, crazy, crazy. The DDB’s are still confused talking amongst themselves as they head backstage. I wonder what Rick is thinking. He’s got the next match and we know we got that crazy lady somewhere around here and now the cloaked freaks. They better stay away from my booth. Before we get to the last two matches, let me announce the winners of the Buzz S.A.W. ticket drawing for our first ever pay per view. The winners of the full expense paid trip are Officer Ray Sisk of the Aberdeen Police Department and Northeast Classen High School teacher Lauren Holmes-Childs.  Why the hell did they write their profession on their order forms? Weird but winners. Congrats.

< Mikeal’s Music Plays > 
I still can’t believe what’d I just saw. Well anyways, it’s time for our next match. Tex’s pathetic excuse of a main event, tune up matches for The Stud and Rick. Coming to the ring, the...um...oh well, it’s Mikeal!

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 
His opponent in this singles match. Sporting his new “Rick Rules” tee-shirt. The well built, the very quiet and now definitely wanted, the #1 contender to the heavyweight title, it’s...Rick Rich!

< Match - Rick vs Mikeal - Mikeal fighting in his first match at S.A.W. with someone close to his size, yet definitely not his build, locks up and tries to wrestle a wrestling man’s match. Big mistake. Rick’s youth, athleticism and ring skills overwhelm Mikeal from the initial lockup. Rick uses this match to vent frustration and display his abilities. Luckily for Mikeal, once Rick’s defeated Mikeal’s fighting spirit with technical moves and counters, he defeats him with his finisher,"A Little R&R” sleeper hold for the submission win. >

I believe that was actually for you, fans. It was rumored backstage that some people started to doubt Rick’s actual wrestling ability because of his record. I mean, you can even look at how simple Simon had that notion. Even though it was Mikeal, I was impressed but to tell you the truth, I’ve always been impressed with his wrestling skills. Sorry to say Bobby, but your brother is the more technically sound of you two at this point, hey, but who knows what the future holds.

< Boogie Down Brown’s Music Plays> 
It’s time for our main event! Making his entrance. Man the crowd just loves this guy and his dancing too. Coming to the ring, in his biggest match yet. The multi-lingo, schoo-chee hating dancing machine, it’s...James “Boogie Down” Brown!

< The Stud’s Music Plays > 
The crowd explodes as the world champion makes his entrance, along with his body guard Crowd Control. In this non-titled so-called tune up match. It’s the man with more ladies than your local YWCA, it’s De Marco...“The Stud” Jackson!

< Match - The Stud vs Boogie Down Brown - Non - title match - Both men being fan favorites allow each other to do their in-ring thing for the fans, which drives the crowd wild. Then both stand face to face in the center of the ring and what a contrast they are. The Stud with a caramel complexion, well groomed goatee and curly black hair in a pony tail, in black wrestling shorts, stands about half a foot taller than his opponent. On the other hand, BDB with pale skin, bushy moustache and brown afro, sporting psychedelic full length pants, stands grinning along with The Stud. They both shake hands, then start the match. A good entertaining match it turned out to be, with both men wrestling an evenly balanced match. The turning point is when The Stud ducks a running clothesline attempt and BDB again comes off the ropes, and lands face first after a drop toe hold.  The Stud then stalks him waiting to nail his finisher “Light’s Out”. BDB gets up holding his face. The Stud kicks as BDB turned toward him but BDB dodges the kick and locks in his finisher sleeperhold “Boogie Down Night’s.” The Stud was fading fast. CC pounds the mat from outside trying to rally The Stud along with the crowd. The referee drops his hand two times with no reaction, as the crowd gets louder and the ref lifts The Stud’s hand a third time, The Stud uses a surge of energy and incredible leg strength to propel them both back first into a corner causing BDB to break the hold. The Stud staggers forward and turns around just in time to duck a charging clothes line. When BDB stops and turns around he catches “Light’s Out” on his chin. The Stud still reeling from the effects of the sleeper, falls on top of BDB for the 1, 2, 3, victory. >

The Stud wins! The Stud wins! The Stud wins! What a match! What an effort! Boogie Down came so close. That’s gotta help move BDB up the ladder. Wow, and what about The Stud surviving “Boogie Down Night’s?” Incredible! Also, what about those four guys in the cloaks? What about that weirdo Amazon? What about a lot of stuff? Tune in this Tuesday for the next S.A.W. show when we present the Cutting Edge. This is Wil B. Creamin for S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling. Drive carefully, be safe, and God Bless! Love Ya!
S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 7 (The Cutting Edge)

Welcome ladies and gents, gents and ladies, and all the kids and babies to S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling, live from the “Macho Macho Man” Dome here in Weekie Wachee, Hernando County, Florida and we are at max capacity for this week’s Cutting Edge. I’m your host, today, tomorrow, and into the great future, Wil B. Creamin, the one you ladies love to be double teaming. Speaking of double teaming, at our last show we had a lot of double teaming going on thanks to Tex putting all the Brooklyn Bombers in two on one matches. With Tex’s recent luck, anyone could have guessed his plans were going to blow up in his face one way or another and they did sort of. Bruno of the Brooklyn Bombers managed an upset victory over the tag team champions, the Dollar Dollar Bills, and upset is the right word to describe Tex’s mood tonight. That victory was due to the outside, well, at least believed outside, interference of four unknown dark cloaked individuals, as they apparently interfered with yet another S.A.W. match.

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 
It looks like we are gonna get to find out what Tex is or isn’t gonna do about those four. This close to the Pay Per View, Buzz S.A.W., Tex can’t continue to have his show run amuck by some oddities. While on the subject of oddities, maybe we’ll hear something about what appears to be Rick’s stalker. Well, in the ring now is Tex, Rick, and the tag team champs, the Dollar Dollar Bills, it’s...Rich Inc!

< In the Ring > 
Tex is still wearing a neck brace and his white trademark Texan hat. Rick with his “Rick Rules” t-shirt stands by his father. The DDB’s each are leaning back in separate corners. Tex says into his mic, “First, I would like to thank you all for coming out and tuning in.”
The crowd boos.
“Well, to hell with you all then! You’re here cause you are pathetic drones and have miserable lives and wish you could be as wealthy as we are!” yells Tex.
The crowd boos louder as the DDB’s applaud Tex.
“Well anyways, I’m not out here for you. I’m here to tell whoever those four people are interfering with my show, that I’ll find out who you are and when I do, you’ll be fired! I know it has to be someone working here and just wait till I find out who you are, you’ll regret you ever came to S.A.W.” 
Tex tears off his neck brace, “Even if that means I have to do it with my own hands!” 
Tex is venting and seems to be overexerting himself. Rick and the DDB’s step forward to comfort him. Tex tries to motion them off.
Unannounced, Simon walks down from the back toward the ring. None of Rich Inc notice him until he’s on the ring apron. Tex can be seen asking the others, “What is he doing out here?” 
The DDB’s are trying not to laugh.
Simon whips out a mic, “Here we are with Tex Rich, the owner and creator of S.A.W., so Tex, how is your situation with your son and his tough love matches?” 
The DDB’s fold over laughing and even Rick cracks a smile, but Tex doesn’t seem amused, “What the hell are you doing out here?” asks Tex.
“My notes tell me that I was supposed to interview you and ask about your son.”
Tex yells, “That was last week, numbskull!”
The DDB’s are laughing so hard that they have to use the ropes to keep from falling over. Even Rick seems to be laughing now.
Stumbling over his notes and words, “But...they...”
Tex cuts him off, “You’re fired!”
“Bu, bu, bu...”
“Get your stuff together and leave my show, you’re fired!”
“Bu, bu, bu...”
Rick, with his grin gone, steps toward Simon. Simon gets the message and leaves the ring. Tex is furious and turns toward the DDB’s who immediately straighten up and stop laughing.
Tex grips his mic and turns toward backstage, “Now that the subject has been brought up, Bobby, get your rear out here now!”

He fired Simon! Damn idiot, Bu, Bu, Bu, Booted! Ha!

< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays >
Bobby Rich comes out to the top of the ring ramp, “What do you want, dad?” He adds, sarcastically, “What? Congratulate me for still being a champion while Rick has to fight dinosaurs to get wins?”
The crowd erupts and so does Rick who leans over the top rope, motioning for Bobby to come get some. Tex just shakes his head as his sons exchange swears.
“No, son, I called you out to ask you if you’ve had enough tough love yet? Are you ready to come home?”
Bobby looks down, then walks back and forth as if contemplating. He stops, looks up at his father in the ring; “Dad, I got two words for ya. Hell no!”
The crowd erupts as Tex takes off his Texan hat and stomps on it. He stops after a few stomps and holds his neck. Rich Inc tries to console him again, he pushes them back. “Fine! I was actually hoping you would say that. Tonight, you’ll face...Crowd Control, one on one. How’s that for tough love, boy? Now hit our damn music!”

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays>

< Backstage >
The Brooklyn Bombers are all huddled around a table watching the show. Bruno asks in more of an angrier tone than his usual angry tone, “See how this damn show is catered around his stinking family?”
The other Bomber’s say in unison, “Yeah!”	
“After what they did to us last show. We gotta make them pay!”
“Yeah!”
In a devilish tone, Bruno grins and says, “I think I know just how to get Tex, through his weakness.” The other BB’s say in a devilish tone also, “Yeah.”
Bruno nods and says softly, “Yeah.”

What was all that about? I don’t like the way they said yeah, and I also don’t like Bobby’s chances of winning tonight against Crowd Control. Shoot, I don’t like any chances against big double C. Well it looks as if tough love continues. I wonder what the BB’s are up to. Well, I can tell you what two fans are going to be up to in a few weeks. Yes, it’s time to announce the next winner’s of a pair of all-expense paid trip to our first ever pay per view Buzz S.A.W. live from San Antonio. This week’s winners are Justin U. Deer and Doug N. Rears. Congrats.

< Cutting Edge’s Music Plays >
Well, it’s time for some in ring tag team action. I guess if he was wearing purple tights, this man would be Barney in Bobby’s eyes. Ha! Coming to the ring...it’s Mikeal! His partner tonight, who’s cousin’s brother’s uncle is his niece’s mother’s aunt, it’s the super red neck...Charles Choker!

< Varsity All-Stars Music Plays>
Their opponents, making their way accompanied by their sister Karrie. Not intramural, not J. V.  but Chad and Brad Keeble...The Varsity All-Stars!

< Match - Varsity vs Choker / Mikeal - Choker put up a decent fight but it’s not enough against the brother combo. After knocking Mikeal off the apron, Chad tags Brad, then lifts Choker up for their tag team finisher “Varsity Blues” for the easy 1, 2, 3, victory.>

< Backstage > 
Tex is walking by himself down a hallway when Mean Mike and KaBoom approach each other with fire in their eyes. Tex is caught in the middle. He puts up his hands like a traffic cop would to halt both men. “Hold up boys! No fighting backstage.”
They both stop on each side of Tex, both breathing heavy with vicious intent on their faces. 
“I’m gonna kill him!” yells Mean Mike.
“KaPow!” yells back KaBoom.
Both men take a step toward each other with Tex in the middle, “Damn it, boys, hold on! I got an idea of how you two can solve your differences without all these backstage incidents. Now, hold your horses.”
Both men just stare at each other, without taking their eyes off one another. 
Tex continues, “How’s this sound? At the Pay Per View, KaBoom versus Mean Mike Ford, one on one, in a no DQ, last man standing match? Sounds great doesn’t it?”
Tex grins and so does Mean Mike, “If KaBoom had the balls.”
KaBoom smiles, “I got the stones, you’ll see, when I hit you like a brick.”
Tex interjects, “But...any incidents beforehand by either of you two before Buzz S.A.W., our first ever Pay Per View and your chance to be part of history, will be gone. You’ll watch the show at home like a fan. Got it?”
They both acknowledge they understand and head off separate ways.
“Phew. That was extreme,” says Tex as he turns around to walk off until he finds Rage right behind him. “Whoa! What the? What the..? Can I help you?” stutters Tex as he looks into Rage’s eyes and sees the same anger that he just got rid of.
“I want Raoul!” yells Rage as if Tex was standing far away.
Tex looks up and down the impressive build of this angry black man in front of him.
Rage repeats just as loud as before, “I want Raoul!” This makes Tex jump.
Tex calmly smiles, “How about this, how about I give you a match, one on one with Raoul at the P. P. V., if tonight...you beat The Stud one on one in a non title match?”
Rage looks unimpressed, “I don’t care about The Stud. I want Raoul!”
Tex adds, “How about if you win tonight, not only do you get Raoul at the Pay Per View, you’ll get a title shot at our first show after Buzz S.A.W. How about that?”
Tex smiles confidently until Rage yells, “ I want Raoul. I don’t care about the damn Stud!”
“Well, you better care, cause that’s the only way I’ll change Raoul’s match against my son at the Pay Per View.”
Rage still looks like he’s about to explode as he ponders the situation at hand, “Fine! Stud, you’re in the way of Raoul, so tonight you must feel my rage!” Rage screams like he’s insane, then heads off. 
Tex, stunned says, “Whoa, that boy’s lost it, if he ever had it.”

< Commercial Break >
A late middle age white man in a nice black suit is sitting in a director style chair with XLB on the back support and a huge XLB symbol on a big screen monitor in the background.
“Hi, I’m Fred Dumper, owner of Fred Dumper Networks. This spring on our mother station W.E.B.S will be the premier of the XLB, the Xtreme League of Baseball. You’re probably wondering, what exactly is XLB and why should you tune in? Well, the XLB is my own personal creation. Being a billionaire numerous times over and bored out of my mind with all the success, I decided it’s time to monopolize another industry”
The man shifts in his chair and so does the camera angle. “In the XLB, we will put ‘major’ fun back into baseball. Here are examples of putting fun in our league, compared to that boring game that’s nothing more than a century of old dust.”
The big screen displaying the huge XLB symbol turns black and these facts show up under these categories, “Xtreme League Baseball” and “Moldy League Baseball.”
“First, who has the time or patience to watch over 150 games? This generation’s attention span is measured in nanoseconds, so we at XLB play only 30 game seasons.”
“Second, it always seems to come down to the last few weeks of the season before the real heroes surface, a good month or so after the all-star game, but didn’t you pay to see them try hard in the beginning of the year also? Well, here at the XLB, the all-star game is after ten games, play hard all year long is our motto.”
“Third, aren’t you tired of hearing how much these guys are being paid for the same percentage of success that would get you fired at your job? Think about it. No matter what you do for a living, what would happen if you got your job done correctly only two out of ten times and the man of the office was doing it right three out of ten times? Please! So to increase batting averages, we are using softball size baseballs and remember those plastic bats with regular size handles but with fat ends? Well, we use those style of bats in the XLB. So with bats and balls like that the game will be extreme.”
Finally, where in the world are the cheerleaders? Every other major sport has them. Well, except hockey, but hell, who can explain how those damn Canadians think anyways. Well, we’ll have cheerleaders, tons of them!”
“Well, now you have the main reasons to tune in to the XLB on W.E.B.S, the Fred Dumper Network, that’s me! See you this spring.”

Welcome back to the show and back to the action. Before the break we had a chance to see just how volatile the situation between KaBoom and Mean Mike Ford and the situation between Raoul and Rage really is. At least Raoul and Rage are fighting over what each did to each other. KaBoom and Mike started all their fighting over a towel for crying out loud! So I guess it’s kinda appropriate for those two to have a figurative “throw in the towel” match because the man who can’t stand up before the ten count loses. No pins, no submissions, just good ol’ fashion beatings.

< Flying Jalapeno’s Music Plays >
Now it’s time for some action. Coming to the ring, weighing about as much as a grilled stuffed taco. The man whose high risk moves might just spill his beans all over the concrete one day. It’s the spicy and fiery...Flying Jalapeno!

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays >
There’s their music. A member of the owner’s team, the son of...um? Well, supposed to be coming to the ring right now. Where’s Rick at? That’s weird. No matter what you can say about Rick, you can’t say he’s not professional. If anything, that’s usually a knock against him, he’s too professional. That’s why I’m shocked he's not here yet.

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays >
Well, I know he’s here. He was in the ring earlier with the rest of Rich Inc. Whoa! There he is and he’s staggering to the ring and he’s busted open! What the hell happened to him? He’s still coming to the ring for this match. He’s in no condition for this match, yet alone any match. I know this was supposed to be an easy match that was hand-picked by Tex, but I’m sure he didn’t expect Rick to be in this condition.

< Match - Rick Rich vs Flying Jalapeno - The ref tries to check Rick out but he shoves him off, so the ref starts the match. Rick should have sat this one out as the Flying J makes him look pathetic. His speed blows away the disoriented Rick. At one point, Rick manages to get the Flying J lifted for a pile driver attempt but the wiry Flying J flips up and reverses the attempt into a high angle DDT, which earns him a close two count. Then he lifts Rick and slams him, setting him up for a top rope moonsault which he lands and if the ref wasn’t in a bad position, Rick would have lost.  But instead, it was another very close two count.  Flying J lifts Rick, who tries a wild swing, which Flying J ducks and nails him with a leaping reverse heel kick, for another close two count. As Rick stands, the Flying J bounces off the ropes and tries a clothesline, which Rick ducks and quickly turns around and locks in “A little R &R” finisher. The Flying J can’t escape and both men collapse with the hold still locked on.  The ref drops his hand for the third time and rings the bell, yet Rick seems out of it. As he lays on the mat, the DDB’s run down to the ring with Tex frantically in tow. The DDB’s are helping Rick to his feet as Tex enters the ring. Tex asks Rick, “What happened to you, son?!” >

What happened? Rick almost lost, several times, that’s what happened. Ha! Seriously, what truck ran Rick over before the match, and why did the rest of Rich Inc just get there after the match? We know they aren’t against helping bail each other out even when it’s not needed. So where...hold on! I was just told we have some footage of backstage that might clear this up.

< Pre-Recorded > < Backstage > 
Outside of Tex’s office, a forklift is parked in front of Tex’s door blocking it from opening more than a foot. Tex and the DDB’s can be heard yelling for help while Big Tyme is waving his arm through the crack in the door, hoping to flag someone down. Tex yells, “Please, someone help move this damn thing! I need to help my boy!”
Simon is walking by with his belongings on a pull cart. Tex hears someone, but doesn't realize who it is, “Please help us!”
Simon stops in front of the opening, “What? Help you? Don’t you remember, I no longer work for you, you just fired me.”
Tex realizes it’s Simon and pleads, “Please, maybe I was being hasty earlier. If you could give us a hand, I would...”
Simon interjects, “Give you a hand, huh?”
“Yeah, give us a hand in moving the forklift. You know how to drive one, right?”
“Yes, I do. So, all I have to do is give you a hand huh?”
“Yes, but please hurry up.”
“Well, Simon says, how about I give you a finger instead!” Then flips Tex off and walks away.
Tex pleads, but no one’s there. Finally, a few minutes later a stagehand, walking by sees the forklift out of place and moves it, and Rich Inc explodes out of the office and heads toward the ring. 

Ha! I wonder who put the forklift in front of their door? That still doesn’t explain what happened to Rick but I bet, no, I just know it’s has to be connected but just who beat Rick up and why? Just imagine, if Rick would have lost to the Flying Jalapeno, imagine how it would have impacted both wrestler’s current careers. That’s two shows in a row that our Buzz S.A.W. main eventers almost had it handed to them. Also tonight, The Stud has to face a raging Rage, with one thing on his mind, destroying The Stud to get to Raoul. I love this stuff!

< Backstage > 
Thunder is walking down the backstage hallway with Lightning in tow, who’s talking up a storm in Spanish. Thunder seems to be zoning him out. When they arrive at their locker room, Thunder turns to Lightning. At first he looks like he’s about to yell, but calms down and smiles, “Look, I can’t speak or understand Spanish. Haven’t you figured that out yet? We’ve been together since the first show.”
Lightning says something in Spanish and Thunder just shakes his head in disbelief, then attempts Spanish, “Me no understand E-Span-yo.”
Lightning has a puzzled look on his face, then points at Thunder, “No Espanol?”
“No.”
“Un poco?”
Thunder shakes his head, then enters the locker room, and Lightning follows still speaking Spanish.

Man, that would get annoying fast. Thunder’s a bigger man than me...Ha! Way bigger matter of fact but not matter of pack because Wil B. Packin, Ha! As any of the lovely ladies, packed in my Mercedes, window rolled down in the mid-80’s. What? Is that someone else’s line? 

< Cutting Edge’s Music Plays > 
Man, I’m having fun. Well, it’s time for a singles match. Making his way to the ring, the man that the last time you saw him in the ring, looked like a bum who hadn’t eaten in a week and the last time I saw him he looked like a bum in front of a Piggly Wiggly who hadn’t eaten in a week, wait, It was him! Ha! It’s the homeless, the hungry, it’s...Cashless Clayton!

< Nathan “Unique” Taylor’s Music Plays > 
His opponent, one of S.A.W.’s lingo lyrist, the mat magician, the tattooed technician, it’s...Nathan “Unique” Taylor!

< Match - Unique vs Cashless Clayton - Cashless seemed game to start the match but tired very quickly, within the first three minutes of the match. After a simple punch to the face, Cashless went down and appeared seriously hurt. Unique is stunned and the ref checks on Clayton, who tries to get up, but staggers and falls again. Unique had started to come at him but the ref cuts him off again and backs Unique into a neutral corner. Unnoticed by everyone in the ring is a man who climbed over the railing. It’s the man who hit Unique before with a chair, costing him a match. The man hits Cashless, who was using the ropes to get up, with a steel chair. Unique sees it and tries to get the ref to turn around but the ref thinks Unique is trying to trick him to get a free shot at the disoriented Cashless. The ref turns around only to see security escorting the man away. Cashless motionless. The ref counts to ten and calls the match, giving the win to Unique. >

It’s that guy again! Maybe he was telling Unique the truth when he said he was trying to help him during his fatal four way match a few shows ago, but who the hell is he? He’s not on the roster. I don’t recognize him. He’s not part of S.A.W. and Unique said he didn’t know him. What in the world is going on? Man, you gotta keep a score card to keep track of all the happenings here at S.A.W. All this and we haven’t even had a Pay Per View yet. Crazy. Well anyways, this week’s Cutting Edge is being brought to you by Immigration Burger. Stop in for our “one man canoe express menu” and try our Polish Cheeseburger combo and get free one of our three “Well, I’ll be Saddam-ed” collectible cups, featuring a picture of either Sadaam or his sons with a bull eye's on their face. Collect’um, Capture’em, use em for target practice, but you gotta catch’em all! Hey, whatever floats your canoe. Immigration Burger, the best burgers in the free world.
Ha! I still can’t get over that concept. Polish Cheeseburger? It doesn’t even have cheese! Ha!

< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays > 
Oh man, it’s time for another Rich family tough love match and this one is gonna be just that, tough! Here he comes, dead...man...walking...the green mile. The disgruntled Americas champion, it’s...Bobby Rich!

<The Stud’s Music Plays > 
Making his way to the ring, aka execution, Ha! The man behind the man or in front of the man, depending on where the groupies are. Entering the ring, the big Double C, it’s...Crowd Control!

< Match - Bobby Rich vs Crowd Control - Non title match - Bobby was hopping up and down in place as CC entered the ring. The same anger he had displayed during his earlier interview, he tries to take out CC before the bell rung. He managed to back the big fella into a corner with several punches until CC grabs him by the throat and slams him into the corner he was just in. He nails Bobby with two big right hands, the second sending Bobby over the top rope. Bobby re-groups and charges CC after re-entering the ring and ducks a big boot attempt. He punches the big guy but these blows seem to have little effect, and another big right by CC drops Bobby again. CC then lifts Bobby and Irish whips him into a corner so hard that when his back hits he drops like a sack of potatoes. Bobby manages to stand only to receive the “Move the Crowd” choke slam finisher. CC wins by pin fall. >

Well, it could have been worse. You gotta give him credit or call him stupid, which ever you believe fits, for taking the action to Crowd Control. I wouldn't have, but misplaced anger will do that to you every time. Ha!

< Backstage - Tex’s Office >
Tex is pacing back and forth, the DDB’s are both seated on a couch and Rick is sitting in his usual chair, but with Cyn Cash pampering him. 
Tex asks with anger and concern in his voice, “You don’t know who jumped you? C’mon son, you gotta have a clue.”
Rick opens his mouth like he’s gonna speak, when Cyn interjects, “He already said it felt like several people and you know it had to take many men to subdue poor ol’ Ricky. Plus, he said they used a blanket or something.” Rick smiles as she rubs his neck.
Tex shakes his head, “I have a feeling I know who did this.”
Rick stands up and starts to say something, when Tex answers him, “Well, if you must go get water, take someone with you.”
Rick nods in agreement. Cyn volunteers and they head off. On their way there, the mysterious woman in a “Rick Rules” shirt stands in their path.
“Rick, I knew you were tough and have that desire we need. I need you, Rick,” says the lady. Rick, who’s still bandaged up, looks puzzled.
Cyn says, “Look lady. I don’t know who you think you are, but you need to find you own man. Rick’s taken,” she pulls him close, which makes his look even more puzzled. Cyn continues, “So you need to take...”
“Silence, inferior excuse of a woman!” says the woman as she steps toward Cyn, who backs up, then walks off hastily.
Turning her attention back to Rick, “Good, now we’re alone, Rick. I told you before, I could sense your deep dark desires, your desires are the same as mine. We need you.”
Rick mouths, “We?”
The woman steps close, which backs Rick up against the wall, “Tell me, Rick, that you don’t sense it. You know you do.”
An awkward moment of silence is broken by Cyn yelling, “There she is!”
Cyn’s accompanied by security, started that direction.
The lady says, “I will be back for your answer,” then steps down a side hall. When Cyn and security arrive, she asks Rick if he’s okay, and security looks down the hall but there’s no sign of the “Rick Rules” woman.

What’s really going on? Is she looking for a father for her rugrats or something? I mean, we have fans attacking wrestlers, wresters getting attacked by who knows who or what, and now obsessed fans getting backstage. What kind of security do we have here? Keystone Kops? Ha! Well, at least Cynthia proved she has no backbone at all. Well, besides that her nickname was already ‘Bendy Cindy.’ Ha! Seriously, she backed down from that lady faster than a bulimic backs away from seconds. Well, we are one week and one more show after this one, from our first ever pay per view, Buzz S.A.W., live from San Antonio, and here are the matches confirmed so far.

Bobby Rich vs Raoul the Latin Lover for the Americas championship. The Dollar Dollar Bills will finally defend their world tag team titles against Flaming Desire. The main event will be DeMarco “The Stud” Jackson defending his world heavyweight championship against the owner of S.A.W.’s son, the number one contender, Rick Rich. Later, I will inform you of the other matches as soon as they are announced. We’re about to take a commercial break and as soon as we get back, we’ll have Nat McMiller, Boogie Down Brown, the DDB’s and a whole bunch more.

< Commercial Break >
A massive, muscular black man is standing in front of a decked out Caprice on nice gold rims. The man, sporting a wife beater tank top, huge platinum chain and matching Rolex says, “Yo, this is Big Earl and I’m with Pimps R Us. In case you called us for our special, two hoes, two pieces of chicken, and a biscuit, you missed it. This week's special is two hoes, two forty’s, and two hours for only $299, that’s right, all that homie for only two ninety nine.”
“Wondering bout how good the bitc...damn political correctness! I mean the hoes are? Just take a look at these dime pieces.” He looks to the left and yells, “Move it hoes!” Ten beautiful scantly clothed women parade across in front of the car and out the other side of the screen, as a song blares with the words, “Hoochie Mamma!”
The music still plays but lower, “See, what we have to offer? You can trust me on that. I’ve taste tested the product and it’s damn good. So call us at Pimps R Us. The pager number is 1-555-PIMP-R-US. This has been Big Earl, saying Pimps up, hoes down!”

Only $299? I don’t think so. Wil don’t pay a fee for what Wil can get for free. Ha! Hot damn! They did have some good looking whores there. Hey, is “whores” politically correct? Hope so, but they can’t compare with the lady I was with last night. I got into my limo and there was this lady. I don’t know how she got in, but I know how I got in, if you know what I mean, whoa! Ha! She had a bucket of ice, portable blow-dryer, a dozen donuts, and seven rubber bands, right? Then she took...what?! Oh man, right at the good part we have to go backstage to the bad part, Cynthia Cash. Well, she’s standing by with the Dollar Dollar Bills. Oh brother, ruined my story again.

< Backstage > 
Cynthia is standing with the DDB’s. She pleads, “Wil, please, not tonight. Don’t you understand the stress I’ve been under today? I mean my Ricky gets attacked, then I almost have to slap the taste out of that tramp’s mouth. I’ve had a tough day.”
Big Tyme says sympathetically, “It’s okay Cyn, calm down.”
Big Shot agrees, “Yeah, everything will be okay, just hang in there.” 
Cyn wipes away some tears, “Thanks, you guys, you guys are great,” she smiles.
Big Tyme says, “Yeah, we know it. That’s why we shouldn’t have to fight Flaming Desire.”
Big Shot continues, “Because we are too great of a team to be in the ring with two of the most panty waist wrestlers to ever suit up.”
Big Tyme snaps, “Hey Bill! That was below the belt!”
“You mean like giving a woman a low blow?”
“Yeah!” 
“Then that should mean that they’ll be okay. It couldn’t hurt them that much then, right.”
They both laugh and Cyn smiles but adds, “You two better realize that those two are men, men to be reckoned with.”
Big Shot says, “Whoa!”
Big Tyme follows his lead trying not to laugh, “Men?”
DDB’s start laughing again and so does Cyn, she asks, “So, you two aren’t worried one bit?”
“Why should we? Just look at us.”
“Then take a big look at them.”
“Get it?”
“Got it!”

Whoa-men? Ha! Very funny guys, but we’ll have to wait until Buzz S.A.W. to see who’ll be laughing last. Flaming Desire is as good of a team as there is today. They work so smoothly together, kinda like lubricated parts. Ha! Sorry, couldn’t resist that one. Well, they’re not here at the show tonight. I wonder if they think we think, oh who cares, we got some real ladies to talk about.

< Cutting Edge’s Music Plays > 
Here comes the first lovely lady in this woman’s singles match. The five foot six cutie with a whole lot of booty, it’s....Jules Sweeny! Wait, Jewels swinging? Ha!

< Nat McMiller’s Music Plays > 
Here she comes, the highest flying, what? I ain’t lying and there’s no denying, the one who’s always grinning cause she’s always winning. It’s...Nat McMiller!

< Match - Nat McMiller vs Jules Sweeny- A very fast pace match with Jules landing several moves before Nat took over after countering a suplex attempt with a snap suplex of her own. She lands a quick elbow drop then picks her up, slams her, setting her up for “McMiller Time” finisher for the victory.>

I’m still amazed every time I see her fly off the top rope like that for McMiller Time. Impressive! I hope we get more lady wrestlers soon, so we can have a women’s title. Also, cause Wil loves legs!  And on that subject of loving the ladies. Mike Stopsign is standing by with a man who loves the ladies too, but in his own mind they love him more. Stopsign is standing by with Raoul. Take it away.

< Backstage > 
Mike Stopsign is standing next to Raoul. “So Raoul, how do you feel that your one on one title shot with Bobby Rich at Buzz S.A.W. might become a three way dance instead, if Rage can beat The Stud tonight?”
“How do you think I would feel? How would you feel?”
Taken off guard by being questioned himself, Stopsign responds, “Well...um, upset, nervous, and concerned.”
“Well, that’s what the normal man might feel, but I’m Raoul the Latin Lover, and I fear no man. Didn’t I promise I would win the title? I did and I will. Mike, you stated nervous, concerned? Why should I be? I have proven not once, but twice, I can beat that meat head Rage in and out of the ring, and who cares about The Stud, S.A.W.’s second sexiest man? Not I. Raoul only cares about himself and the ladies. Now leave, me Jell-o boy, while I let the ladies get a peek at perfection.”
Mike looks wounded by that comment. Raoul slowly open his robe exposing his well-developed abs. He quickly shut it back, “Enough for today. Don’t want to have the emergency rooms packed during war time.”

Talk about being full of himself. Just wait until Rage gets a hold of him, he’ll be full of Rage’s boot. That takes some nerve saying in the same breath that he guarantees a victory at the Pay Per View and that The Stud is second sexiest to him. That mouth is gonna get him in trouble very soon. Well, it’s time for another great match, BDB versus Mean Mike Ford.

< Mean Mike’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring, the man who will face KaBoom in what should turn out to be S.A.W.’s most brutal match ever. Angry, temperamental, furious, or just downright...Mean Mike Ford!

< BDB’s Music Plays > 
His opponent, making his way to the ring, the moving and grooving, the reverse Oreo, whoa! Watch me now! ...it’s James “Boogie Down” Brown!

< Match - BDB vs Mean Mike - Mean Mike attacks BDB while he was doing his pre-match dance for the crowd, but BDB manages to fight back and send Mean Mike to the arena floor and followed with a flying cross body outside the ring. Then does a quick little hip dance while Mean Mike is outside the ring. Once both are back in the ring, the match goes pretty evenly until BDB tries to dance over Mean Mike who plants a foot to his groin. He continues to pummel BDB and seems close to finishing him off, when KaBoom’s music comes on. KaBoom walks out on the backstage ramp and stands there smiling at Mean Mike, who stands in the ring, facing him and yelling at KaBoom. BDB came up behind him, locks on “Boogie Down Night’s” sleeper, pulling Mean Mike to the center of the ring and gained the submission victory. >

Oh man! I guess pay back is fair game. Only weeks ago, Mean Mike Ford cost KaBoom a big match against The Stud and now KaBoom cost Mike a match. He’s not gonna be happy about this when he gathers himself, but remember what Tex said earlier, they can’t touch each other, oh this is gonna be fun! Ha! He just got screwed and can’t do anything about it until the Pay Per View. Oh well, now that they’re out of the ring and backstage, it’s time for our main event match.

< Rage’s Music Plays > 
Well, this match might not be for the title, but it is for a chance at a match at the Pay Per View and another chance at Raoul for this man. Making his way to the ring by his usual unusual way from somewhere in the crowd. There he is, it’s the obsessed, the raging...Rage!

< The Stud’s Music Plays > 
There he is fans, S.A.W.’s heavyweight championship for the world, accompanied by his bodyguard Crowd Control, the one the fans and the ladies love, no it’s not me, it’s...DeMarco “The Stud” Jackson!

< Match - Stud vs Rage - Non Title match - Rage looks like his typical fired up self and The Stud looks like his usual confident self. This match was full of ooh’s and ah’s and both men put out their best efforts, with both being unable to gain the upper hand for more than a couple of moves, until Rage ducks a wild punch by The Stud and grabs The Stud from behind and lands an atomic drop. As The Stud walks around holding his rump, he’s grabbed by the hair and Rage lands his finisher “Migraine.” Rage raises his hands in victory, then pins The Stud, who barely kicks out before the three count to the surprise of Rage and the crowd. Rage gets up and starts yelling at the ref. He returns back to The Stud and lifts him, and The Stud fires back with right hands staggering Rage. The Stud takes a step back and tries his “Light’s Out” finisher which Rage ducks but when he turns around he’s nailed by The Stud’s second finisher attempt. The Stud pins him but Rage kicks out right before three. Now, The Stud can’t believe it. As The Stud stands, Rage does also and starts shaking and breathing heavy like he was when he was angry earlier backstage. The Stud punches him a few times but they seem to have no effect, Rage charges The Stud into a corner and does the crowd pleasing ten punch. When he steps down, he goes to the center of the ring, charges and leaps at The Stud dangling in the corner. The Stud moves at the last second. Rage slams into the turnbuckle head first and bounces off landing sprawled out on the matt. The Stud climbs to the top turnbuckle and lands his other finisher “Show’s Over” top rope elbow smash for the 1, 2, 3 victory.>

Do I need to say it? Oh yes, I do! The Stud wins! The Stud wins! The Stud wins! What a solid performance. I just hope it didn’t take too much out of The Stud before Buzz S.A.W. Well, that’s it for tonight, fans. One show left, then Buzz S.A.W. our first Pay Per View and of course, I’ll see you at both. This has been a S.A.W. presentation of the Cutting Edge. I’m Wil B. Creamin. God Bless, drive careful, be careful, love ya!
S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 8 (The Final Cut)

Welcome ladies and germs, man, ain’t that an old one? Ha! Anyways, welcome everybody to S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling as we present The Final Cut live from Three Wives Stadium here in Ophir Town, Tooele County, in Utah. We are sold out at one of the best stadiums in the world, why that’s mighty bigotry, I mean mighty big of me. Ha! But seriously fans, thanks for coming out and tuning in to our very last show before Buzz  S.A.W. our first P. P. V. ever, coming to you live from the Blamamo Bowl in San Antonio. At our last show, Rage had a chance to assure his Buzz S.A.W. appearance and to be part of history and all he had to do was beat The Stud. Yep beat The Stud, that’s all. Yeah right!  It was a great match and he did make history. The only person to survive “Light’s Out.”  While the situation between Mean Mike Ford and KaBoom only seems to be worsening, finally Tex laid down the law. They can’t get physical with each other or they’ll lose their chance at each other at Buzz S.A.W.  So we’ll have to see what happens tonight, because last show KaBoom cost Mean Mike a match versus James “Boogie Down” Brown. So tonight is gonna be interesting to say the least, because both men are here tonight.

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays >
Well, here comes the owner of S.A.W., Tex and his clique. It’s Tex, it’s Rick, it’s The Dollar Dollar Bills, it’s...Rich Inc!

< In the Ring> 
Rich Inc stands in the middle of the ring, Tex has a mic, “I’m on top of the world!” He hollers like a wolf, the rest of Rich Inc gets a kick out of it.
“Yes, this is the final show before the big day, and since we are so close to that historical day, all the people involved in the title matches will have the night off, with the exception of Rick and The Stud. Of course, this is simply to make sure they are in tip top form, but don’t you worry, all the S.A.W. superstars are here and we will still have a great main event tonight. I guar-ran-dam-tee-it!”
Tex does a Texan holler, “Man, I’m so excited!” The DDB’s are applauding Tex’s energy, while Rick gives a slight grin. “Tonight’s main event will be two wrestlers from our last two main events, Boggie Down Brown and Rage versus KaBoom and Mean Mike Ford. If KaBoom and Mean Mike don’t play fair, good bye pay per view match.”
He looks over at the DDB’s, “This should make for good entertainment.” Rich Inc nods in agreement.
Now with an intense look and serious tone, Tex continues, “Also, Buzz S.A.W. security will be beefed up to help assure that those freaks, that I noticed some of you fan call Dark Corners, will not be able to ruin any more matches. No one is gonna ruin this day. No one! Now hit our music!”

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays>

Dark Corners? Kinda has a good feel to it. While speaking about a good feeling to it, I can tell you one thing that doesn’t, KaBoom and Mean Mike as a tag team. Come on now, that’s just wrong, but it should make for good entertainment. Ha! Tonight, the best entertainment will be with Wil, cause tonight I will be doing interviews. Yes, the Wil-ster will be interviewing those two madmen KaBoom and Mean Mike, and also Karrie! Oh yeah, and her brothers the Varsity All-Stars too. Wondering why I’m doing the interviews? Well, it’s because of Simon getting canned, so until we hire a new interviewer, I’ll be helping out.

< Backstage > 
Nathan “Unique” Taylor, sitting in his dressing room stands up suddenly as his mystery stalker and self-proclaimed friend opens the door and walks in.
“Hey Nathan, how’s it going?” the man addresses Unique as if they were good friends. Unique simply looks at him.
“Vacate the premise,” Unique replies coldly.
“But I saved your life before.”
“Clouting me with a chair is not what I would call life-saving.”
“No, no, no. Way before that. That was an accident. Now I saved your life when you were just a little boy. Six to be exact. Over in Wyoming.”
“I’ve never been to Wyoming,” Unique says in the still dry tone.
“Well, you didn’t live there, no one lives there. For crying out loud, it’s Wyoming after all. That’s just where the plane crashed.”
“I’ve never been in a plane crash either.”
Security walks in and grabs the visitor.
“Come on, let’s go buddy,” says Steve, the head of security. As they are escorting the man out, he yells, “I’m telling you the truth. I would never lie to you. You’re like a son to me! You want proof? I’ll bring proof! I’ll bring proof!” 
The security team drags the reluctant man away.

Talk about loons, we got em, yes that’s right. Loons for sale! Come get your loons for sale! Ha! I wouldn’t be surprised if we actually have a sponsor with loons for sale, they seem to be advertising everything else. Women’s natural juices, whoa!  Hey, who was that guy? Saved Nathan as a child, yet he doesn’t remember it? Hmmm...

< Final Cut’s Music Plays > 
Well enough of that, it’s time for a match. Coming to the ring is a team that is more of contrast than David Duke at the Million Man March. It’s the good ol country boy, that’s trailer country, of course, it’s...Charles Choker! His partner is the Latin Loon, the Mexican Marvel, it’s...The Flying Jalapeno!

< Rockstars Music Plays > 
Their opponents, the team that auditioned for that one 80’s show by accident, they were driving by and thought it was a party. Ha! It’s Rad Brad and Far Out Phil...The Rockstars!

< Match - Rockstars versus The Flying Jalapeno and Charles Choker - Choker started the match and managed to keep the match competitive until he missed a clothesline attempt and is dropkicked in the knee. Phil makes the tag and Brad flies into the ring as Choker tagged out. Brad is nailed by a flying spinning round house kick by the Flying Jalapeno who had just tagged in, manages to keep them off balance with several leaping kicks, but Brad wasn’t as hurt as the Flying J believed. He comes up and grabs him from behind when he was about to tag. Brad executes a perfect high arch back drop. Brad jumps up and dropkicks Choker off the ring apron, then both of the Rockstars climb separate top ropes and lands their finisher, “Chart Buster” for the victory. >

< Dollar Dollar Bills Music Plays > 
What now? What could the DDB’S want? To wrestle the Rockstars now that they’re tired? Come on, now! Well, here they come and they look upset. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, they claim the Rockstars are using their move. Well, the Rockstars, look ready for another fight.

< Ring Ramp and In the Ring > 
The Rockstars are still in the ring, gathering their wind. Big Shot Bill says, “I can’t believe right before Buzz S.A.W. they had the audacity.”
Big Tyme Billy repeats, “The audacity!”
“To use our move, Stock Market Crash!”
Big Tyme adds with a tone of fake sympathy, “I understand that they want to be like us, since they don’t have a match at the pay per view...”
“...and since imitation is the best form of flattery.”
“How about we imitate a beat down and flatten you?!” 
The DDB’s start toward the ring and the RS prepare for a fight.

< Flaming Desires Music Plays > 
What now?! Well, it appears coming on, I mean from the back. Ha! It’s Frances and Greg ....Flaming Desire!

“Oh no, you’re not!” yells Frances.
“You two are not gonna risk hurting yourselves before we get a shot at those belts,” adds Greg.
“Who the hell do you two think you are?!” yells Big Tyme from mid-ramp.
“We’re Flaming Desire and if we have to manhandle you two and take you backstage, we will.” Greg lifts two sets of handcuffs.
“Well boys...?” asks Frances with a smile.
The Rockstars are now laughing in the ring, along with the crowd.
Big Tyme mumbles, “Man?”
Big Shot mumbles, “Handles?”
“Handcuffs?”
The DDB’s look at each other as FD starts down the ramp, “Hold it! Hold it! Okay, we’ll leave,” says Big Shot.
Big Tyme turns toward the ring as they head up the ramp, “Hey Rockstars, this is not over!”
“Not by a long shot!” adds Big Shot.
Flaming Desire parts as the DDB’s walk in between them towards backstage.

Handcuffs? Wow! I’m surprised that they weren’t fluffy with pink trim, Ha! I can’t believe that they were gonna try to handcuff two grown men. Wait! Actually, it’s Flaming Desire, so I can believe it.  What I can’t believe is that the Dollar Dollar Bills are still getting upset over that move. Hell, it’s not like they wrestle anyways. Here we are heading into our first pay per view, a month into our on air existence and our tag team champions have yet to fight in a regular tag team match. So who’s really to blame?
Well anyways, coming into the announce booth with me, which kinda make the Wil-ster a little uneasy. What am I talking about, I’m always easy! Ha! Well, not as easy as Cynthia. That would be like comparing Janett Reno with Vanessa Del Rios, ouch! Anyways, I’m joined by two men who will go head to head in a last man standing match at Buzz S.A.W., but tonight they must put their differences aside. Mean Mike, KaBoom how’s it hanging?

Mean Mike says, “How you think it is? I’m forced to wrestle as a partner with my worst enemy and a complete loser!”
KaBoom gets in Mike’s face and smiles a sinister grin, “How your ribs feeling?”
“The same way your face is gonna be feeling after the Pay Per View!”

Boys, calm down! This is a non-jacking booth, so don’t be jacking up the tudes in here, cause Wil ain’t having it. This is my first interview and don’t blow it either. I’m not Simon!

Both men don’t seem to be listening to Wil. Mean Mike says, “I’m gonna put you on the shelf, like you did me!”
“You think so? Huh? KaPoww, boy!”
They start shoving each other.

Yo boys, the shows over, you’re both out of quarters, cause there isn’t ten cents of brains between the both of you. So get out of my booth and you two better hear this! No one will have a chance at nothing, if you two don’t chill out.

They both look at each other with vicious intent, then walk off in separate directions.

Phew! For a minute, I thought something was gonna blow in my booth. No pun intended. Time for a commercial.

< Commercial >
A tall red headed man in a cheap checked suit stands in the parking lot, outside in front of a family restaurant.
“Hi,” says the man. “I’m Matt Smith, owner of Matt Smith’s Food on a Stick family restaurant and this weekend will be the grand opening of Food on a Stick. Quick, follow me inside.”
The next scene, the camera shows Mr. Smith standing in front of a counter with a register on top of it. “Here at Food on a Stick, we are cutting edge and we are stepping full bore into the twenty first century...or twentieth or twenty second, whatever it is, you know what I mean. Here at Food on a Stick, every eatable item will come on a stick. Can you believe it?! Everything on a stick! Just look at our menu.”
Matt points up at the red board with green lettering. “Just take a look at these kooky, dope ideas, man! Meat, potatoes, and veggies on a stick. You get to choose the meat and veggies. Corn on a stick, no need to burn your fingers while enjoying delicious corn and my personal favorite, which I just know you’ll enjoy. Ice cream on a stick! Can you believe it?! Ice cream on a stick! Also, we got thirty flavors to choose from! Not ten, not twenty, but thirty flavors!”
So you just gotta come on down to Matt Smith’s, that’s me! Food on a Stick Family Restaurant located in Wouldbee City, off the corner of Eighth and D Street. See you this weekend.

< Backstage > 
Inside Flaming Desire’s dressing room stand Frances, Gregory, and Mike Stopsign. Spread out on a table is a picnic style blanket complete with several baskets, a punch bowl, napkins, and various condiments. Frances is manning a Foreman style grill, while Gregory is looking through one of the baskets. Both seem oblivious to Mike Stopsign standing by with a mic.
“Well, Flaming Desire, what exactly were you trying to accomplish by bringing handcuffs and stopping the Dollar Dollar Bills from fighting with the Rockstars?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. We want those titles and since every week they seem to have a new excuse of why they aren’t defending the titles, we don’t want them having any excuses come Buzz S.A.W.”
Frances adds, “Plus, Tex gave us all the night off. Also we, me and Gregory both, know how to enjoy a night off, with a picnic!”
Gregory interrupts, “Frances, I think you forgot to pack the buns.”
“How could I forget to pack the buns? Here let me check.” He looks though the baskets.
Mike asks, “You two seem mighty relaxed right before the Pay Per View, aren’t you two nervous at all?”
They don’t seem to be paying attention, then the realization of the missing buns sink in.
Frances snaps, “Darn it!”
Then they both look and say at the same time, “Hey do you got buns for our wieners?”
Then both look at each other and laugh at the fact that they said the exact same thing at the same time.
Feeling extremely uncomfortable, Mike says, “ Um...no, sorry, can’t help you with that, but um...anyways, I do need to get going, other things, yeah other things.”
Again Flaming Desire says at the same time, “Ta ta,” then immediately they look at each other and laugh. Mike unnoticeably leaves the room.

Oh brother! Buns for their wieners, huh? Good luck, guys, Wil can tell you right now, sorry for ya!  How could either one of those two forget buns? Ha! Man, I’m laughing so hard, I can barely speak. Oh man, those two are just great! Well, while I gain my composure, I guess we are gonna eavesdrop in on Gaby’s gossip, but doesn’t that make us as bad as her? Hmmm...

< Backstage > 
Gaby is on a pay phone in a hallway talking to someone. “Yo girls, for reals? Really? He’s how big? Whoa girl! I might have to check that out.”
As Gaby gabs, Nat McMiller walks up unnoticed, that is until she hangs up the phone by pushing down the phone’s resting lever.
“Hello?” Gaby turns toward Nat who still has her finger on the lever.
“What do you think you are doing?! I don’t know who the hell you think you are!”
Even though Gaby is near yelling, Nat’s charming smile never leaves, “I’m Nat McMiller and I’ve never been a man. I’m all woman and proud of it.”
“Well, that’s what I had heard, so there!”
“So that’s what you heard, huh? Well, you know what I heard? I heard you got a big mouth that needs a matching big fat lip.”
Gaby looks appalled that she’s being talked to like this. Nat continues, “I also heard you’re on the S.A.W. roster as a wrestler too.”
The crowd’s cheers can be heard even backstage.
Gaby starts to talk, “Well, I’m not wrestling...” when Nat puts her hand in her face in a “halt” motion, “I don’t know if you heard but...I don’t take no for an answer.”
Nat starts nailing Gaby with right hands, then grabs her by her hair and starts to lead her down to the ring head first. The crowd erupts in cheers as the two appear from backstage.
Once at the ring, Nat delivers a forearm shot, then rolls Gaby into the ring. Nat lands a running clothesline when Gaby stands and then another one. Ivana, in a warm up suit, runs down to the ring and clotheslines Gaby. Ivana looks at Nat and then motions for her to climb the turnbuckle for her finisher. Nat smiles and does climb as Ivana lifts Gaby and slams her, setting her up for “McMiller Time” flying top rope leg drop, which she nails with perfection.
Ivana stands next to Nat when she stands up and lifts her hand in victory. While Nat is displaying that perfect smile, Ivana delivers an unexpected forearm to the back of Nat’s head. The crowd erupts with boos as Ivana puts the boots to Nat.
Ivana climbs the top turnbuckle and awaits the staggering Nat to rise. Once she does, she’s nailed by Ivana’s “A2F” missile drop kick. Ivana raises both arms in a sign of victory amidst the boos.

Oh, that was a straight chump move! Pretended she was on her side until Nat turned around. I know a lot of women usually complain that other women are backstabbers but what about backstage bashers? Wait, that might be more appropriate for Flaming Desire. Ha! Naw seriously, all jokes aside, that was pretty messed up but hey, this is professional wrestling, right? While on that subject of messed up, I’m pretty sure that the Brooklyn Bombers thought what happened to them when they arrived here at the arena earlier was messed up. Here, let’s check out that footage now.

< Pre - Recorded > < Backstage Entrance >
The security team is stationed by the door where the wrestlers come in. Bobby Rich walks through the door. “Hello Mr. Rich,” says Steve, the head of the security team.
“Hey Steve, how’s it going?”
“Not too bad, Mr. Rich, not too bad at all.”
Bobby continues past.
“It’s a damn shame how Tex is treating that boy,” says Steve to the other members of the security team. They nod in agreement. One of the team members says, “Heads up. Here comes trouble.”
The Brooklyn Bombers approach the doorway talking loud, their normal manner.
The security team cuts them off, blocking the door.
Bruno yells, “What the hell are you doing? Move the hell out of the way punks!”
“Sorry fellows, but Tex says you guys are banned from the show as punishment and also for the safety of the other wrestlers. Since you guys are suspected of jumping Rick last week in a non-scheduled event.”
“What?! We didn’t touch that punk!” yells Bruno.
The remaining Bombers yell in unison, “Yeah!”
The rest of security steps toward the Brooklyn Bombers, along with some local cops who the BB’s didn’t notice.
Steve says, “Sorry, guys but that’s my orders. Not to let any of you in the building this show.”
“What about the pay-per-view? Who we supposed to fight?”
“Yeah!”
“Tex told me to inform you, Bruno, that you will be facing James “Boogie Down” Brown at the pay per view but that’s all he said,” said Steve.
Bruno looks conflicted between the good news that he’ll get his hands on BDB and the bad news that his fellow Bombers look to be left out, “Fine, we’re outta here punks !”
“Yeah!”
The BB’s walk away from the building.

Hey, I thought it was them behind the attack too, but I didn’t want to spread rumors and from the look of things it’s a good thing I didn’t, just look at what happened to Gaby earlier tonight. You gotta be careful what you say and about whom nowadays. So the Brooklyn Bombers won’t be here tonight in any capacity, in case you cared, I don’t. And as they like to say around here, those guys are good for entertainment, but you would never catch us kicking it after the show. Speaking of kicking it with, it’s time to announce the last two lucky winners of a pair of all expense paid round trip tickets to S.A.W’s first ever pay per view, Buzz S.A.W. The lucky winners are Drew P. Tataz and Erick Shawns. Congrats gentleman.

< Final Cut’s Music Plays > 
Well it’s back to work and time to get ready for one of two of Tex’s pay per view main event warm up matches. Coming to the ring, a man who’s not involved in the Buzz S.A.W’s  main event. A man who needs to get involved with a food bank. He’s broke and can’t fix it, it’s ... Cashless Clayton!

< Rich Inc’s Music Plays > 
His opponent, our Heavyweight champion’s  opponent in the main event at Buzz S.A.W.  The quiet, the strong, the silent, it’s .... Rick Rich!

< Match - Cashless Clayton vs Rick Rich - Cashless seemed to have more energy than his last few matches, but not much more, and a determined and focused Rick was just too much for him. If his attacks was compared to fireworks, it consisted solely of sparklers. After executing a snap suplex, Rick lifts him up and ends the match with his finisher,  “A little R & R” sleeper. >

Well, at least he seemed a little more game than he was the last few times we’ve seen him.  Speaking of games, you need to check out S.A.W.’s wrestling collectible trading card game! Its due out after the pay per view, but all the lucky ones in attendance of Buzz S.A.W. will be receiving a special edition foil card of one of their favorite S.A.W superstars! Everyone with a ticket will get one, no limited supplies here, baby! While on the subject of giving stuff away free, we are headed to an interview with a female who gives her stuff away for free. Cynthia Cash is standing by.  Take her away, doctor, I mean take it away, Ha!

<Backstage>
Cyn is standing by with Rage and BDB, “Yeah whatever, jerk! By the way, it’s Cyn, short for Cynthia.”
Rage apparently thought she was talking to him.  He turns violently toward her, “What?!”
BDB realizes this and interjects, “Yo chill, R-man, she be worth no mo than a wet counterfeit food stamp, dawg, strait stank-tosis to the non g factor home slice.”
“What’d you say about me?!” apparently more worried by what she believes to be an insult than the bodily harm Rage is capable of doing to anyone, her particularly.
Rage slowly backs off and says, “Do the interview and hurry up with it! I don’t have time for this!” 
Cyn snaps at him, “Well it’s your loss, not mine.”
“Look Ho-ro-shima. We be havin a big time match tonight, aight? Here in da Square! It be fo dem peeps out there, baby baby. Rage and BDB gonna be so so def, ya feel me?”
Rage suddenly and unexpectedly yells, “Interview’s over!” He walks off.
“Yeah peace out, skank-berry.” says BDB as he follows suit.
Cyn looks dead into the camera, “See what you started, Wil!  No one respects me now. Damn you!”

Damn me? Man you haven’t been respected since you got them infected just for being erected, Ha! So don’t put that blame on me.  That’s like an abuser yelling at the victim, “Look what you made me do.” You got the problem, not Big Wil, the real deal, the true thrill, the ‘tell your momma about me and I bet she’ll squeal’ Wil. Anyways, time for a real, high-quality interview. Perfect timing too, welcome to the announce booth, Karrie!....oh yeah, and her brothers also.

The trio all give some kind of greeting.
Well, I see you brought those two with you Karrie.  I’m glad to see them.
The male Keeble’s say “Thanks.”
Uh? I wasn’t talking about you two boobs.  I was talking about her two boobies. Ha!
Karrie pulls up the top of her shirt in attempt to eliminate chest exposure but it barely helped. 
Chad says, “What? You can’t talk about our sister like that!”
Actually I wasn’t talking about her, just her chee-chee’s.
Brad says, “Who do you think you are, talking to us like this?”
I’m Wil B Creamin and to be like me, keep dreaming and just who do you two think you are?
Brad started to answer, “Well we.....”
So Karrie, how do you like S.A.W. so far?
Brad seems visibly distraught about being cut off.  Chad comes to his defense, “Hey, you just can’t cut him off. What’s...”
So Karrie, how much do you like me so far?
Chad is now infuriated and walks off as Brad follows suit.  Both men seem to be pouting like small children.
“See what you did? Boys, calm down, it’s gonna be okay!” Karrie gives chase.
Hey! Call me! Hope she heard me, she’s hot and she can pamper me any day. Damn it, time for a commercial. Actually that gives me time to fantasize about those chee-chee’s.  See you in two!

<Commercial Break>
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<Backstage -Tex’s Office>
All of Rich Inc are stationed in their usual post in Tex’s office.  The DDB’s are sitting on the couch telling jokes back and forth.
Big Shot Bill says amidst their hearty laughter, “Ok, ok, my turn. There was this guy sitting in a bar when his best friend who he hasn’t seen in a while walks in, right? And he....”
Tex interrupts, “Shouldn’t you two be doing something more constructive than telling jokes? Don’t get me wrong boys, these are some great jokes, especially the one about the hooker, two bottles of rum, a ceiling fan and a foot stool, but shouldn’t you two be focusing on your pay-per-view match? I mean you two saw how focused Rick was earlier.”
Rick smiles and nods in agreement.
Big Tyme Billy says, “Well, Tex, we aren’t really fighting against anyone but those ass backwards two.”
Big Shot corrects him, “Don’t you mean ‘backwards and toward ass’ two?”
All of Rich Inc laughs.
“Naw, with those two um.....hot dog bun seekers, we aren’t worried.”
Tex laughs but says, “Good grief.”
Rick stands up. Tex says, “Well, if you need water that bad, Rick. Make sure you take the Dollar Dollar Bills with you.”
The DDB’s look at each other trying to figure out when Rick mentioned getting water.
Big Shot says, “Anyways. Why we got to go with him? The Brooklyn Bombers aren’t even in the building.”
Rick nods in agreement with the DDB’s. Tex glares at the DDB’s, “You two lazy asses!”
Tex motions for Rick to go by himself. “Just hurry back, son, and be careful!”
Rick nods and exits.
As Rick walks down the hall, the mysterious Amazon like lady from the last few shows stops Rick again. He’s not as shocked as the first few times and has a slight smile until she yells at him, “You’re weak! Pathetic!”
Rick recoils against a wall.
“We were mistaken. You are nothing but a little boy sadly searching for something. That’s not evil, that’s fear!”
Rick’s eyes open wide and he looks prepared to receive a shot to the face from her, when suddenly her tone changes, yet her words are still as sharp. “Pathetic little man. You will never lead, coward. Step forward, do what your heart desires.  We will never be one, but you will see me again. You and your family.”
She turns and walks away, leaving Rick speechless.

That strange lady is back? I guess the DDB’s should have gotten off their lazy butts. Well, at least nothing really bad happened to Rick.  Well, that’s only if you don’t count the seventeen slaps to his manhood, ouch. Ha! The Dollar Dollar Bills seemingly pure laziness might actually hurt their chance of keeping those tag titles.  Truth be told, we don’t actually know exactly how this mystery woman is affecting Rick. Or is it effecting? Oh, who cares. I’m just saying he’s was being stalked and now she seems to be angry and has even threatened his family.  I wonder if that includes Bobby, too. Hmmm..... Well, we can stop wondering about what Mikeal thinks about S.A.W.  He’s our most experienced wrestler here at S.A.W. We are about to get his thoughts on the pay-per view and things in general because he’s standing by with Mike Stopsign. Well, I wasn’t wondering but maybe someone out there was.  Go ahead, Mike.

<Backstage>
“Thank you, Wil. I’m Mike Stopsign and I’m standing by with a living legend and hopefully we are going to gain some insight on his thoughts about things going on here at S.A.W.  So Mikeal, what do you think about our first month? Comments?”
Mikeal answers, “Yes, I think this company has potential. We have a lot of young stars who in a few years could headline at most of the other federations. Although, back in my heyday they couldn’t touch me.”  
Stopsign says, “Ok. Sure. Well, with so many wrestlers here who have never even competed in a pay per view before, what can they expect and tell us briefly about your first pay-per view experience.”
“Well Mike, my first pay-per view was with the now defunct NWA.”
Astounded, Mike asks, “You mean the National Wrestling Association? The original home of most of the great legends of wrestling?”
“Um...no. It was the Nevada Wrestling All-Stars.  Yep, we toured the Nevada casino circuit. I remember I was in the main event. It was called “The Thriller at the Rockefeller”.  I think that place is now closed.  Anyways, my opponent that night was Bobby “The Weazel” Chavez. A vicious character whose trademark was weasing like he was insane. That was a tough night too, because back in those days we sometimes wrestled five matches a night and....”
Un-ecstatically, Mike interrupts, “Um, remember this is only a two hour show.”
“Oh sorry. Man, those were the good old days. Well, you youngsters have a night to look forward to that you’ll never forget, win or lose.”
“Did you win?”
“Naw, the guy was just getting out of the pen, so they were trying to give him a push.  Well, I did beat him in a rematch the next night.”
“That’s nice. Well thank you Mikeal, and that’s it’s for us for now.  Let’s head back to Wil and some in ring action.”

Good thing he finished before we found out how soda pop used to cost a nickel back in his days. Let’s move forward to the present and to the present champ of S.A.W who is scheduled in this non-title match.

<Thunder and Lightning's Music plays>
Making his way to the ring accompanied by his tag team partner, aka broken Spanish translator Lightning, it’s the man who has more bounce to the ton, Ha! It’s......Thunder!

<The Stud’s music plays>
 It’s our World Champion, in one of Tex’s so called tune up matches, it’s the man the ladies came to see. No, I’m not wrestling tonight, it’s.....DeMarco “The Stud” Jackson!

< Match - Thunder vs The Stud - Non-Title Match.  Thunder doesn’t have to try use his weight to his advantage, he just does naturally, and it keeps The Stud off balance because when he connects with a blow it doesn’t seem to have the effect he’s used to seeing.  After a powerslam, Thunder gets a close two count. When he lifts The Stud off the mat, The Stud erupts with a flurry of lefts and rights reeling the big man against the ropes, then he Irish whips Thunder and bounces off the opposite ropes but is tripped by Lightning.  Thunder saw it as The Stud lands flat on his face. Thunder starts yelling at Lightning that he doesn’t want to win by cheating.  Their language barrier only leads to a confused look on Lightning's face which is soon replaced with a shocked one when Crowd Control grabbed him by the throat as he turned around. Thunder walks over to the ropes and demands CC to let him go. CC looks up at the ring, then simply shoves Lightning to the arena floor.  Thunder turns around to catch “Light’s Out”, The Stud’s Finisher on his chin. This drops the big man and The Stud gets the 1,2,3 victory. >

The Stud wins! Well, you only get one of those, since it’s not the main event.  What’s up with Thunder not wanting to take advantage of an opportunity? It’s not like he’s the one who cheated. Right? You see The Stud took advantage of an opening and you already know Wil loves openings. Ha! Well, now that both competitors and escorts are heading backstage, Hmmmmm. I won’t go there, but since everyone is backstage, it’s time for the main event.

< James “Boogie Down” Brown’s music plays> 
Man, the crowd loves this guy! He’s not even out from backstage and they erupted at the sound of his music. There he is.  The dancing machine extreme, making his way to the ring, well, once he stops dancing. It’s James............Boogie Down Brown!

<Rage’s music plays> 
BDB’s partner for this main event tag team match. Coming through a crowd near you.  Wow, he’s actually coming from backstage.  Well, it’s the man who needs to be in a cage. It’s.......Rage!

<KaBoom’s music plays>
Damn it! That person screaming for dear life in KaBoom’s entrance makes me jump almost every time. Anyways, making his way to the ring and on his way to Buzz S.A.W. if he can play right tonight, it’s the human dynamite, it’s......KaBoom!

<Mean Mike Ford’s music plays>
Another man with extreme attitude, KaBoom’s partner tonight and opponent at Buzz S.A.W. The tough and rough or rough and tough, depending on how you wanna say it, it’s....Mean Mike Ford!

< Match - BDB and Rage vs KaBoom and Mean Mike Ford-  As soon as Mean Mike arrived at ringside him and KaBoom both slide into the ring and attacked their opponents. One minute later they both find themselves outside the ring looking at each other thanks to BDB and Rage. They start arguing outside the ring about who is going to start the match.  Finally, KaBoom rolls in to start. At first, BDB manages to keep KaBoom confused and frustrated with his antics and quick takedown moves but a low blow stops all the dancing around. KaBoom lands a few moves then grabs BDB by the hand holding him in place as he tags Mean Mike, who comes in delivering sledgehammer like attacks to BDB’s back. These two go at it for awhile with Mean Mike holding the edge until BDB lands a desperation leaping scissor kick, sending both men to the mat. Both men gather themselves slowly and crawl toward their respective corners for the tag. BDB dives and tags in Rage at the same time Mean Mike dove to tag KaBoom but at the last second KaBoom pulled away his hand, then drops of the ring apron and waves good bye with a evil, twisted grin.  Mean Mike is shocked and starts yelling but is nailed from behind by an amp-ed up Rage who hadn’t gotten into the match yet. Rage was way too much for the disoriented Mean Mike who eventually falls victim to “Migraine”, Rage’s finisher, giving the team of Rage and BDB the victory.>

Rage wins! Boogie Down wins! Rage and BDB wins! Mean Mike Ford is gonna kill KaBoom! Well hopefully not literally, but who know with those two.  Man, did he look mad.  They are going to have a killer match, no pun intended. Are Dark Corners going to show up at the Buzz S.A.W.? Will Rick finally win the Heavyweight title? Will his stalker be there? Will the Dollar Dollar Bills finally defend the Tag Titles? Well, Wil will be there and so will you if you want the answers to those questions and tons of others, at Buzz S.A.W. live from the Blamamo Bowl. This has been another Sensational American Wrestling presentation.  This is the Final Cut and this is Wil B Creamin, saying drive careful, be safe and God Bless. Big Wil is out. See you at Buzz S.A.W.
S.A.W. Book 1 Buzz S.A.W.

< Pre- Recorded > 
A black stretch limo pulls into the underground parking garage of the Blamamo Bowl. The back right door opens when it comes to a stop and Tex Rich steps out and into the bright flashes of several cameras. He’s all grins, styling and profiling in a complete white tailored suit and holding his trademark Stetson hat. The grinning stops when he’s bombarded by several of S.A.W.’s wrestlers as they demand answers. So many wrestlers are talking at the same time that Tex has to motion for them to calm down.
“What’s all this about?” he asks the small mob.
Karrie steps forward with her brothers behind her, “Why aren’t we on the card?”
Rage can be heard yelling from the back and out of plain sight, “Yeah, what gives!?”
Tex tries to calm the small crowd that’s starting to get rallied up again, “Calm down, it’s just a small oversight.”
Far Out Phil states, “Small oversight? This the biggest night in S.A.W.’s history and you call it a ‘small oversight’?” Dude, you’re like gone!”
Thunder steps in front of Phil blocking him out, “Tex, ain’t nothing small about this.”
Tex decides against taking a stab at Thunder’s massive size and bad choice of words, yet one could easily read what he was thinking.
Rad Brad asks, “So, what are you gonna do about this mistake, dude?”
Tex looks offended, “Mistake? No, no, no. I mean I have something already planned and you guys are just gonna love it. Tonight, anyone and I mean anyone on S.A.W.’s roster even if you have a match beforehand can compete in S.A.W.’s  first ever ... Battle Royal!”
Most of the wrestlers seem to be warming up to the idea but it’s not unanimous until Tex adds, “The winner of the Battle Royal will get a shot at any title of their choice this Tuesday on the Cutting Edge! So each of you can get your chance at some gold, guar- ran-dam-teed!”
All the wrestlers cheer at this statement. Tex says as he cuts through the group, “Now I gotta go introduce the pay- per-view, good luck gentlemen.”

< Backstage > 
Raoul is sitting in his dressing room watching the pre-recorded message. 
“Varsity All-Stars, Thunder, the Rockstars, especially Rage, and the rest of them too, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. They all had a chance to assure their pay-per-view future weeks ago and blew it. Now they’re out there begging for crumbs. I thought Cashless was the only true bum around here. Pathetic!”
He turns off the monitor, “Now that announcement is good news for the truly gifted athlete here at S.A.W., me! Yes Raoul, the sexiest man in S.A.W. After I win the title tonight by beating … what’s his name, I’ll enter the battle royal and win that too. Then I will go on to the Cutting Edge and defeat whoever it is and win the world title, making history as the first true complete champion.
He leans back in his chair exposing a side shot of his muscular abs through his button-up shirt, “Finally, tonight not only will I reveal S.A.W.’s best t-shirt, mine, but also my music. No more of this pathetic pre T. V. music for my fans.” He looks back at the monitor and shakes his head, “Pathetic.”

< Buzz S.A.W.  Pay Per View music plays >
That was Raoul and earlier was Tex Rich, the owner and creator of S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling and I’m your host, Wil B. Creamin. Welcome live to the sold out Blamamo Bowl, here in San Antonio as we present the pay per view that’s the buzz all around the world, it’s Buzz S.A.W.! Our first ever pay-per-view. Tonight will be sensational, I guarantee it, and I’m not just talking about with me after the show but during the show also, because tonight we’ll have all the matches you fans have dreamed about. Bruno, the leader of the Brooklyn Bombers vs James “Boogie Down” Brown, Kaboom vs Mean Mike Ford in a last man standing, no DQ match, Bobby Rich vs Raoul the Latin Lover for the Americas title, the Dollar Dollar Bills vs Flaming Desire for the tag titles, yes, even the DDB’s are gonna actually wrestle tonight, Rick Rich vs The Stud for the heavyweight title. Also, just like bread crumbs when he’s eating a sandwich, straight from the owner's mouth, our first ever Battle Royal, in which anyone can enter and whoever wins will get a shot at any title they would like at the next Cutting Edge.

< Rich Inc’s music plays >
Well, I’ve said enough, but not our owner, as he heads down to the ring to conduct a formal ground breaking speech and an interview to kick off what will soon be known as the best P.P.V. ever! Coming to the ring, your hometown boy completed with white Texan hat, it’s the owner, it’s the creator, it’s ...Tex Rich!

< In Ring > 
Tex’s home state crowd cheers him so long and loudly that Tex appears to be crying from happiness. Cyn applauds Tex as he bows to the crowd. After the noise lowers to a quiet roar and Tex has kinda gained some composure, “I did it! I’m home!”
The crowd erupts again. Once quieted again, Tex says. “Thank you, thank you all for showing up and thank you to all the fans around the world for making this night possible. This could not have happened without you. Thank you!”
He indulges himself with the cheers for a little bit longer, “Well, I want to get the best ever damn pay per view underway, so let’s let Cyn do her job and interview your hometown boy. Go for it Cyn!”
Cyn lifts her mic and she receives mixed crowd responses, “Thank you, Tex. Tonight is gonna be memorable and tonight history will be made. Tex, tell the people how it was that you came up with the idea of S.A.W. and what it took to get it to where it is, the number one show on WEBS.”
“Well Cyn, it started...”

All the lights in the arena cut off and so does the power to Tex’s mic. When the lights return, along with Tex’s mic, Dark Corners are posted at their usual corners with their usual unrevealing cloaks.
Tex is enraged, “What the hell? So you finally have the nerve to show up when I’m in the ring! And you dare show up here? Live in front of S.A.W.’s millions of fans? In my home state?!”
Dark Corners stand motionless like usual.
“Damn it, answer me! You’re not gonna ruin my dream! Cowards, come out from behind those cloaks! 
Cyn adds, “Yeah, cowards!”
Once again the lights and mics cut off and when they return, Tex has been de-pantsed, exposing his cottage cheese thighs and happy face boxers. He’s lying on the mat with his hands and feet bound. As he flops around like a fish out of water, Cyn stands screaming as her dress has been removed and taken, leaving her in nothing but a bra and panties. She ignores Tex and there’s no sign of Dark Corners.
Tex can’t get to his feet and Cyn seems too shocked to leave the ring. The Dollar Dollar Bills run down to the ring. Big Tyme Billy covers her up with a jacket as the crowd boos his heroics. Big Shot unties Tex, who immediately pulls up his pants and grabs a mic, “Get those damn cameras off this ring! Go to another segment or something, now!”

Okay Tex. Well, I’m grateful that the camera turned off both those two in the ring. I mean, who hasn’t seen Cynthia like that before and who would want to see Tex like that? Not I! It did make for good entertainment. I mean, of all days to do this to Tex, there can’t be a worse day, or better day depending on how one looks at it...No comment. Well, at least they are finally getting out of the ring. Well, they say big shows bring out the big names and names don’t get much bigger than some of the celebrities here in attendance.  There’s Jin Jun Katsuya, owner of Katsuya Cameras, the largest camera corporation in the world and just a few seats down from him is Trezelle Thomas, the high school basketball phenom. Scouts say he’s a guaranteed first overall pick and likely hall of famer and get this, he’s only a junior, in high school! Wow!  He says he’s going to college regardless of what‘s offered.
Okay, now that all of Rich Inc are backstage, it’s time for our first match. Buzz S.A.W. is being brought to you by the company that brought you Fruit Booties candy, and in collaboration with WEBS and the XLB, comes Chocolate Bat and Balls. Each pack comes with one bat and two balls, and it’s our bat and balls that make us Xtreme! XLB’s Chocolate Bat and Balls.

< Brooklyn Bombers music plays > 
It’s time to make history, our first pay per view match ever. Making his way to the ring, in a match that has been brewing since our first ever show, which makes it even more fitting to start off Buzz S.A.W.  It’s the ghetto blaster, the Brooklyn master, representing the Brooklyn Bombers, it’s...Bruno!

< James “Boogie Down” Brown’s music plays > 
His opponent in this historical match. Ever wonder why do the fans love him? It’s the moustache, it’s the tie dye pants, it’s the slang, it’s the afro, it’s James “Boogie Down” Brown!

< Match - Bruno vs BDB - Both wrestlers are wearing their new trademark t-shirts. Bruno’s “Do it Brooklyn Style” shirt and on the front of BDB’s shirt, it reads, “Boogie bout to get down” and on the back, “Can I get down?” A fast paced match at the start until Bruno caught BDB off guard and struck him down with a big boot. Bruno continued to pound BDB without any hint that he wants the pin fall. At one point after a powerful sit down power bomb, Bruno shoves BDB away instead of following up with a pin attempt. The crowd boos and Bruno flips them off. Bruno lands a few more moves then tries a pin attempt, which BDB barely kicked out. Bruno starts in on the ref about how it should have been a three count. Once done arguing, he turns around and he’s thumped by a standing dropkick, which doesn’t drop him but he staggers him. Bruno fires back with several forearms to BDB’s back, then lifts him and tries to Irish whip him but it’s reversed and he’s put into BDB’s finisher “Boogie Down Nights.” Bruno, fading fast, tries to use his leg strength to push both men into the corner, but at the last second, BDB released the hold and moved, sending Bruno back first into the corner. As Bruno stumbles forward, BDB re-locks his finisher in the middle of the ring. When Bruno is almost gone, the rest of the Brooklyn Bombers run to the ring to save their leader. BDB saw them coming and does a decent job of fighting them off, but eventually, sheer numbers overwhelm him. As the BB’s lift BDB to fling him toward Bruno, Thunder emerges from the back running to the ring with a chair. He clears the ring of the BB’s and stands over the downed BDB until the BB’s are headed backstage.

That was a great match to start Buzz S.A.W., despite the Bomber’s interference and it’s about time someone came out and helped BDB. I mean I would have but you see, I fell off a footstool last night then this one hot chick grabbed me by the, oh never mind, but I’m glad someone came to help him. I would have never guessed Thunder would be the one and from the looks on the Bombers faces they didn’t seem to think the 400 pounder would have either. Still a great match.

< Backstage - Parking Garage > 
A jet black convertible Jaguar pulls to a stop. Rick Rich gets out and the crowd cheers. He’s in street clothes with a duffle bag. He heads toward the backstage dressing room.

Rick’s here and I know The Stud is here. Oh, I can’t wait! This will be their third title match and the first two were instant classics and I don’t expect anything less tonight. Well, with no commercial breaks and just sensational matches, let’s head into our next match, a title match.

< Raoul’s new music plays >
His new entrance music is kinda catchy. No, he didn’t just pause when the music paused and announce it’s really him. Man, is he full of himself. To tell the truth, I’m kinda starting to like his confidence a little, never thought I would admit that. Well, coming to the ring, with his new S.A.W.  shirt “Women love me, men fear me,” it’s...Raoul “the Latin Lover!”

< Bobby Rich’s music plays >
The Americas champion. Coming to the ring, the only Rich champion ever in S.A.W. Hey Bobby, I want my twenty bucks for saying that. Ha! It’s the tough love recipient, the owner’s son, it’s ...Bobby Rich!

< Match - Bobby Rich vs Raoul “The Latin Lover” - Americas Championship match - Raoul underestimated Bobby’s abilities and it was evident by the look on Raoul’s face as Bobby easily controlled the first several minutes of the match. Unannounced, the Dollar Dollar Bills come down to the ringside and seemed to just be outside spectators until Bobby locked on his version of the finisher “A Little R&R.” Big Tyme Billy climbed on the apron and distracted the ref as Big Shot Bill deliver a big chair shot to Bobby’s back.  The ref didn’t see it and after getting the pinfall victory, Raoul rolled out of the ring quickly and grabbed the belt. He creeped by the DDB’s with his eyes never leaving them as they stood outside the ring. Bobby, coming to, looks out at them and starts yelling that he wants them to come into the ring. They do and once inside the ring, Bobby can be heard clearly yelling, “Why in the hell did you interfere in my match?” Instead of answering him, the DDB’s start to laugh at him, and Bobby attacks both of them but he’s already so exhausted that it only takes a few seconds before they have him on the mat. The Rockstars come down to the ring and attack the DDB’s. As those pair fight, Bobby rolled out of the ring, and came back in with a chair and nails both the DDB’s sending Big Tyme to the arena floor. The RS look at each other, smile, then each climb opposite turnbuckles and execute their tag team finisher “Chart Drop” on the downed Big Shot. The RS and Bobby head backstage together as the DDB’s look PO’ed in the ring.>

< Backstage>
Gaby is on a phone and she’s upset. “Did you see what those hoes did to me?! Jumping me! When are you getting here? A contract?! Don’t worry about a contract. I got the juicy scoop that’s so huge, you’ll get your contract, just get your butt here, girl!”

Juicy scoop? Guaranteeing a contract? It has to be about Tex. What is Gaby up to? Some people just never learn. Did the Dollar Dollar Bills help Raoul win the title or Bobby lose it? Hmmm...Raoul looked like he didn’t trust them as he took off with the title belt, so I don’t know what’s going on, except that Bobby officially has problems with the DDB’s now. Also, it just so happens that even though the Rockstars don’t have a match tonight they were the first to do that finisher at our first ever pay per view, which the DDB’s claim the move is theirs. The DDB’s can’t be too happy about that.

< Kaboom’s Music Plays > 
And it’s time for the brutality to begin. Coming to the ring for this no DQ last man standing match. The human powder keg, the train wreck waiting to happen, it’s ...Kaboom!

< Mean Mike Ford’s Music Plays >
And his opponent, the immovable object about to hit the unstoppable force, coming, no running to the ring, it’s ...Mean Mike Ford!

< Match - Kaboom vs Mean Mike Ford>- To call this a wrestling match would be unfair to the other matches of the night, this was a straight brawl, full of punches, kicks and chokes. Numerous times the match spilled to outside the ring. Mean Mike split open Kaboom early with a chain wrapped around his gloved hand. Later Kaboom returned the favor with MMF’s own chain, splitting him open also. This match lasted thirty minutes as neither man stayed down even after falling victim to each other’s finisher. Mean Mike puts Kaboom through a table in the middle of the ring and his eyes open wide when Kaboom makes it to his feet at the 9 count. Enraged, he charges over and plants a foot to Kaboom’s privates and executes not one, not two, but three consecutive tombstone pile drivers. Mean Mike stands leaning back against a corner as the ref counts to ten on the motionless Kaboom. MMF walks over and looks down at Kaboom whose eyes are open but still is motionless. Paramedics rush into the ring and start to check on Kaboom. MMF rolls out of the ring and heads backstage as the paramedics secure Kaboom to a gurney.

I am speechless, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more vicious ending to a match. Three tombstone pile drivers? I pray that Kaboom is gonna be okay. That could have been career ending. His eyes were open but he didn’t seem as if he could move. I was afraid something like this would happen between those two. The crowd is silent as our hopes and prayers are with Kaboom. Even the celebrities in attendance are shocked. There’s Jimmy “The Natural Hack”, he looks stunned and this is a man, who outlasted highly trained military personnel, in a survivor type reality show with nothing but a solar powered lap top. Even Mrs. Fairbanks, owner of Fairbanks Cookies looks worried and she runs a multi-billion dollar corporation. Wow, I still can’t believe Mean Mike did three consecutive Tombstones, one might have been enough, two would have for sure, but was three necessary? It’s a class act by the fans here applauding for Kaboom as they wheel him backstage for more medical attention. I hope this pay-per-view isn’t historical for bad reasons. Man, I’m speechless...

< Flaming Desire’s Music Plays > 
Well, now that KaBoom’s in the hand of trained professionals and getting the best possible treatment, it’s time for our tag team championship match. First the challengers, on their way to the ring, it’s Francis A. Gaines, it’s Gregory A. Young, it’s.....Flaming Desire!

< Dollar Dollar Bill’s Music Plays > 
Here comes the champions. Making their first title defense and actually debuting in their first tag team match ever. Yeah, only at S.A.W. It’s Big Tyme Billy and Big Shot Bill, it’s...the Dollar Dollar Bills!

<Match - Dollar Dollar Bills vs Flaming Desire- Tag Team Championship Match - Unlike most teams at S.A.W, the DDB’s apparently have no problem locking up with Flaming Desire. Despite being more serious and focused, they still have no easy time with the challengers, as both teams exchange momentum and near falls several times during the match. Big Tyme falls against the ropes causing Greg, who was climbing the corner turnbuckle, to fall off and into the ring. Big Tyme immediately runs over and hits an unsuspecting Francis, sending him to the arena floor. As each Bill starts to climb the turnbuckles for their double team finisher, the crowd starts to boo loudly.  This causes them to pause atop of their respected turnbuckles and look at each other.  This little delay allowed Greg enough time to gather himself and roll out of the way of the finisher. Both Bills are rolling around in the ring in pain.  Greg manages to make a diving tag to the now furious Frances, who comes in and cleans house. He sends Big Shot out of the ring. As Francis pounds on Big Tyme, Big Shot grabbed a chair and nails Greg outside the ring. Frances hears the chair shot and turns in response. This lapse in focus allowed Big Tyme to hook him in a small package and with a handful of tights, that exposed Frances’ bottom and allowed the DDB’s to gained the victory.>

Oh yuck! I hope they censored that! Whoa! Gotta stay away from the crack. Ha! Looks like Flaming Desire was assed out, but....they bare-ly lost. Will they just turn the other cheek or with this be the end....of their title hopes? Ha! Don’t worry if you didn’t get it, I got a million of them but...I won’t make an ass of myself or ass...ume anything before all the facts are bared and out in the open. Ha! Even the DDB’s are smiling at the replay as they head backstage but I have to say, they do look too exhausted to laugh and Flaming Desire, who are still in the ring, definitely aren’t laughing. I don’t think this is over by any means.  Well, the DDB’s did prove they deserved the belts and looked pretty impressive proving it.  Well, it’s time for some interviews with the heavyweight champion, The Stud and the challenger Rick Rich. See you in a few.

<Backstage>
The Stud, in a star-studded robe, is standing next to the very intimidating Crowd Control.  Mike Stopsign is standing by and wearing a Buzz S.A.W shirt. “Tonight, is the night that legends will be made. Tonight, is a historical night. Stud, any historical words?” 
“First, The Stud and Crowd Control would like to thank all the fans here and around the world for helping us make this night possible. Without you, there would be no S.A.W”
He pauses as the crowd cheers can be heard backstage, “Now on to business. Tex and Dork Inc, tonight will be a historical night. A night that no one in Dork Inc or around the world will soon forget.  A night that The Stud proves once and for all, that I am the better man and that Rick couldn’t hold my jock if it was glued to his hand.  So just remember, whether is Show’s Over or Light’s Out, The Stud will win the bout!”
The Stud and Crowd Control walk off.
“Thank you, Stud. Now, we head over to the challenger Rick Rich. Go ahead Cyn.” says Stopsign.

<Backstage>
Cyn and Tex are standing by Rick who looks as calm as usual. Cyn asks, “Well Rick, those were harsh words by that one guy you’re facing tonight. Any comments?”
Rick gets ready to speak but Tex cuts him off, “He’s gonna eat those words and my son Rick’s boots before the night is over and those boots are gonna look chocolate covered if you know what I mean. My other son, Bobby, had to learn the tough way that I get the results that I want. No matter the cost or means and soon The Stud will understand this. Tonight, my son Rick will be the only true champion in the Rich Family. Well Cyn, it’s time for us to go. You might want to stay with us in case those preverted freaks show up again. Do you have any problem staying with us until the show’s over?”
Cyn looks at Rick and smiles, he doesn’t notice, “Would I ever? Of course!”
“Good, well, we gotta move.”
They all walk off together.

Schoooooo-chie! Rick didn’t even seem to notice the goo-goo eyes she was giving him.  Too bad for Rick, that might not be the only thing she’ll end up giving him, if you know what I mean. Ha! Also what’s up with the statement they made? I had a good feeling that Tex was behind the Dollar Dollar Bills interfering in Bobby’s match, but I wasn’t certain cause you can never tell with the DDB’s.  Well, guess who’s been holding out on some good exciting news until the right moment?  That’s right, me! Well, since we have a moment. Let me tell you all about it. Well with the firing of Simon and until we find a replacement, I’ll continue doing interviews but on my own show! Yes, I will have my own segment in which I will get deeper and deeper and deeper. I just love hearing that word. Ha! Well anyways, I will get to conduct more in depth interviews with one superstar every Cutting Edge. I even get to name it myself and I know all of you will love the name of the segment. It will be called, “If I Wil it, they Wil come.” The damn sensors made me spell it c.o.m.e. but I guess that’ll work.  Well, I guess we need to go backstage for something. Hmm....

<Backstage>
Standing outside a locker room, the Flying Jalapeno and a seductively dressed, dark haired woman are talking Spanish.  Every so many words, the Flying J appears to nod in agreement.  With the camera to her back, they continue to talk until the Flying J notices the camera. He opens the locker room door and they both step inside, shutting the door behind them.

Was that Rick’s stalker? Looked like her from behind but is she bilingual? Is she now a Flying Jalapeno fan? Naw, it probably ain’t the same woman. I mean this one is dressed like oh la la, while the other was more like oh wow wow. Now I wish I would have paid more attention to the stalker’s butt before, but I was spacing out on everything else that was happening. You know the Wil-ster doesn’t forget a face or a waist, Ha! That woman with the Flying Jalapeno has more curves than those car commercials’ closed driving course. Zoom, zoom, zoom. Ha! Anyways, we have a little time to kill as all the names are being gathered for the big battle royal! Everyone had a chance to sign up on Tex’s door and time’s up.  The names are being made legible for the announcer, special guest announcer that is. Heather Davenport, the superstar actress and super model. I’m glad she is here because as we know great penmanship is not a requirement of pro wrestling and you can just imagine how someone like Rage would write his name. Whoa! Look who else we got here in attendance. It’s the multi-platinum superstar B.A. Savage and the Miracle. Oh I just love all their stuff, and the Miracle is soooooo hot! I believe in miracles, you sexy thang, sexy thang you!

< Buzz S.A.W.’s theme music plays >
It’s time for the Battle Royal! With the stakes being a title shot this Tuesday on the Cutting Edge, almost all the wrestlers on the roster signed up. Twenty of S.A.W.’S superstars will be in the ring at the same time. The rules to a Battle Royal are simple, last person in the ring wins. You’re eliminated by being tossed over the top rope, and touching the ring floor. And thanks to the now legible entry list, which I was just handed by Dana Day, a stagehand, I want my fifty before the show’s over too, Day. Anyway, I can tell you my personal shockers on this list. Don’t worry, I know some of the wrestlers are making their way to the ring as I speak but it doesn’t start until all the twenty competitors are in the ring.
The biggest shocker, Nat McMiller,said before that she came here to wrestle and she’s proving it, but I don’t like her chances when she’s gonna be in the ring with the next surprise entry, Crowd Control! Yes, The Stud’s body guard! What happens if he wins the Battle Royal, which he’s my favorite, would he go after The Stud’s belt if he wins? Crazy, And what about Bobby entering? He’s gotta be exhausted. And some other wrestlers are doing double duty to enter, but at least they have someone in their corner, like Brooklyn Bombers or Flaming Desire, so they have someone looking out for their back, but Bobby’s all alone.
Well,here are the rest of the entries and we gotta be close to the start of the match as the ring is pretty full. Nat’s so cute, she’s smiling and doesn’t look one bit intimidated despite her size disadvantaged with almost everyone else. Anyways, the other entries, Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor, Bruno, Bruce, Bubba, Butch, Rage, Rad Brad, Far Out Phil, Frances and Greg, Thunder, Lightning, Chad and Brad Keeble, Charles Choker, Cashless Clayton, Mikeal, and the Flying Jalapeno.
Hey, now that's everyone in the ring, let’s get ready to rummm....Fight! Hey, I’m not trying to get sued.

< Battle Royal >
<Highlight> Nat managed to do pretty well despite her size, because most of the other wrestlers seemed to ignore her until she put a fist to their face. Early in the match she managed to eliminate Brad Keeble by pulling down the top rope as he was bouncing off of it. Chad Keeble tried to avenge his brother by flinging her over the top rope. He thinks she’s eliminated and goes on with the match, but she landed on the ring apron on her feet and when he bounces off the rope, she pulled down the top rope again, causing him to fall out also. Both the brothers pout together as they leave the ring area. Her big mistake was trying to attack Crowd Control. He easily press slams her over the top rope. One of the outside refs braced her fall, accidentally, but both were okay. Right before Nat goes backstage, she turns around to give the crowd a bow for their constant cheers as she exited. She’s hit in the back with a steel chair by Karrie. As the crowd boos, Karrie yells at the downed Nat, “See what you did?! I’m so tired of everyone picking on my brothers!” Kerrie walks off. Nat manages to get to her feet only to receive yet another chair shot, this time from Ivana, who emerged unnoticed from backstage. Ivana stands over the downed Nat with her arms and chair raised in a victory pose. That is, until Gaby, unannounced hits her with a chair shot sending her down the walkway a few feet. As Ivana gets to her knees, Gaby delivers another chair shot, this time to her face, laying her out cold, Nat who had just managed to get to her knees, receives the same treatment. Gaby goes backstage as the paramedics come out to check on the two downed ladies.

<Highlight> Bobby was the tenth wrestler remaining when Bruno eliminated him. As Bobby stands outside the ring, he starts talking to himself, “I can’t lose, no! You took everything, dad! I have nothing left… but Lucille. Yeah, I’ll go get Lucille, she’ll talk some sense into everyone, yeah, Lucille will!” Then he heads backstage with a sinister look on his face.
<Highlight> Bruno and BDB eliminated each other at the same time and fight all the way up the walkway until security separated them.
<Highlight> Bruce, Bubba and Butch all triple teamed Thunder and managed to eliminate the big man but he took Butch with him.
<Order of Elimination- Cashless, Unique, Brad Keeble, Mikeal, Butch, Thunder, Chad Keeble, Bubba, Nat McMiller, Frances, Bobby, BDB, Bruno, Gregory, Bruce, Rad Brad, Raoul and Far Out Phil.>
The last two remaining wrestlers was Crowd Control and Rage. It ended in a brawl like most of the action in this Battle Royal.  Rage tried to kick CC but CC grabbed his foot and Rage countered with a back brain kick.  This dropped CC to one knee and as he was trying to shake off the cobwebs, when Rage grabs him from behind and tried to execute his finisher “Migraine” but before he can drop big Double C on his head, CC used his impressive strength to straighten up and lift the shocked Rage into a military press and tossed him over the top rope for the victory.>

Crowd Control won the whole thing! And that must have taken a lot of strength to lift Rage, a 250 plus man, up from that position! And what a good showing by Rage, actually by all the S.A.W. superstars! That battle royal was simply sensational! And now, what’s in store for the big Double C now? Will he go after Raoul’s belt? I would hate to be in Raoul’s shoes. And I would hate to be anyone who has to face this monster and what are The Stud and Rick thinking? He might want the Heavyweight title. What if The Stud wins tonight, would he wrestle his own bodyguard? Oh man, I’m excited for Tuesday today! But first, I still have to finish tonight. I don’t think I can handle all this excitement plus what I have planned after the show. I don’t want to fall off a footstool again.
				
<Rich Inc’s Music Plays>
Wow, looks like I won’t have time to catch my breath! Hey, that’s what the lady that stayed with me last night said, and she said it again this morning, her and her four friends, baby! Yeah! And speaking of four friends, looks like Rick’s bringing four friends. Rich Inc, along with Cynthia, are accompanying Rick to the ring. Well anyways, coming to the ring with the misfit version of YMCA, it’s the challenger, the number one contender, it’s…Rick Rich!

<The Stud’s Music Plays>
There he is fans, your heavyweight champion of the world. Accompanied by his bodyguard, the winner of our first ever battle royal, Crowd Control. It’s the charismatic, the athletic, the ladies love…DeMarco “The Stud” Jackson!

<Match- The Stud vs Rick Rich – Heavyweight Title Match – As expected, Rich Inc interfered most of the match and a tired Crowd Control tried to prevent them and did successfully for most of the match. After an exchange of reversals, The Stud nails Rick with a spiked DDT. The Stud lands his finisher, top rope elbow drop “Show’s Over.”
Right before the three count, Tex pulled the ref out of the ring under the bottom rope. As Tex and the ref argued, the Dollar Dollar Bills divide and conquered.  Big Tyme snuck into the ring, while Big Shot attacks CC with a chair from behind.  Big Tyme nails The Stud with a DDT. After he exited the ring and the unaware ref is back in the ring. Rick locks on “A Little R&R”, his sleeper hold finisher, as Rich Inc looks on proudly as The Stud starts to fade. The smiles quickly disappear as Bobby Rich’s music plays. Tex sends the DDB’s to stop Bobby if he’s coming to the ring.  The DDB’s have to dive off the walkway as Bobby drives Rick’s black Jaguar out from backstage and down the ramp a little ways.  As everyone looks on, Rick still has the fading fast Stud in his finisher.  Bobby climbs on top of Rick’s car with a baseball bat in tow. He starts to smash the windows, the hood, everything in reach. The DDB’s standing by car, are too scared to come close. As soon as Bobby hit Rick’s car, Rick released the hold and started toward Bobby, as the ref tries to keep him in the ring.  Rick is yelling at his brother and so is Tex. Rick looks furious as Bobby continues to smash the car as the crowd cheers.
Tex is trying to get Rick’s attention back into the match, when Rick finally turns, a recovered Stud hit him with his finisher, “Light’s Out” super kick.  The Stud gains the victory and rolls out as a stunned Rich Inc enter the ring.  CC helps the physically and emotionally exhausted Stud up the walk way past Bobby standing on the destroyed Jag.
Bobby lifts his bat labeled “Lucille”, high above his head as the crowd cheers. Rich Inc leans concerned over Rick, who’s sitting down in the ring.  Tex stomps his Texan hat as the masses cheer, and if looks could kill both Rick and Tex would be charged with homicide.>		

“This was one of my good days”


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