Return to Cupid, Texas
Resisting Cupid

By Carol Rose


First Smashwords Edition, 2012

Copyright 2012 by Carol Rose
Published by Smashwords

Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Cover by Joleene Naylor.




Resisting Cupid by Carol Rose


Even after ten years, Tucker looked good enough to eat.
Leaning against the piano on the church dais, he laughed with a guy Emma recognized as a friend of his from high school, while she quietly had a heart attack at the church door.
The rows of empty pews between them seemed to telescope and she made herself take a deep breath.
Dammit, this shouldn’t be so difficult. So what if they’d been married to one another for four months and had decidedly hot carnal knowledge of one another? Up against her daddy’s old pick-up, at the stock tank, behind the drive-in where she’d worked in high school. And lots and lots of hot nights in the full-sized bed in their tiny apartment.
She needed to kill this ache for him, needed to make herself move on and stop breathing funny whenever she thought about her ex-husband.
Emma took another shuddery breath, trying not to remember. Not to turn tail and run. As her reporter friend, Allison, had reminded her, she was an adult, a TV news correspondent, for heaven’s sake. She could handle this.
Pirates in Somali, riots in London and Christmas at the Mall of America. 
She’d been all over the place and she sure wished she were anywhere else right now. Anywhere she didn’t have to face him, the one guy who always made her feel loved and desired…until he made her crazy.
Only because Michelle had been her best friend since third grade had she returned to Cupid, Texas. A wedding on Valentine’s Day no less. What the heck was Michelle thinking, asking her to come back now? 
When Emma had heard that she’d have to spend the special lovers’ day with her ex-husband, she’d nearly cried.
Pausing just inside the chapel, Emma knew she needed to plunge ahead. The man she’d married at eighteen might be Michelle’s groom’s best-man, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be supportive of her best friend. She’d waffled on it back and forth, telling Michelle that she couldn’t get away from her hectic job at the network. But her friend’s tears had decided Emma. She had to do this. Deserting her childhood friend at this pivotal moment wasn’t really an option.
Surely the ten years that had passed since her leaving Cupid, Texas, would provide enough of a buffer. Tucker had probably married by now and popped out three kids. She had nothing to worry about. Really.
Just her own stupid heart that had refused to let go, that held on still to the memory of his smile, the sound of his voice.
For a brief moment, she wished she hadn’t been so adamant about not hearing anything regarding Tucker. At least she’d have known what she was heading into. She’d thought not knowing about his life would make things easier. Now she was heading blindly into the situation.
Shifting her focus to the scene at the end of the aisle, Emma lifted her chin and walked as casually as she could down to the altar.
Michelle and Ryan, her groom and Tucker’s step-brother, stood under the altar lights, deep in conversation with a rattled women who seemed to be in charge of the chaos. People milled around, chatting in small knots and generally acting as if they had no other agenda besides socializing. Emma counted six people she knew and several she thought she ought to have recognized, but didn’t.
“Well, there she is.” From next to the piano, Tucker’s drawl jolted down to the soles of her feet and rubbed up against Emma’s spine. Even after all these years, the familiarity set her heart to pounding even harder. “Little Missy all grown up and wearing her television reporter shoes.”
Emma mounted the three shallow steps at the end of the aisle, trying to ignore him after glancing over to where he lazed against the piano. Instead of responding to his softly mocking statement, she touched Michelle on the shoulder.
“Emma! You’re here! Oh, thank God!” Her friend grabbed her and hugged hard.
“Hey.” She responded softly, patting Michelle’s back. “Of course I’m here. I told you I’d get here in time for the rehearsal.”
“What,” Tucker’s voice came from right behind her, “too good to hug an old friend from your childhood days?”
Disentangling herself from her friend’s embrace, Emma turned. Tucker held out his arms, a smile on his handsome face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Give daddy some sugar now.”
“You’re not my daddy and stop talking like a character from ‘Cat On A Hot Tin Roof’.” Her words came out sharper than she meant them to and she tried to make up for this by throwing Tucker a fake smile to take some of the sting out. After all, she and Tucker needed to get through this weekend without bloodshed, if possible.
He laughed then, the sound real and warm. “Hello, Emmie. How are you?”
They exchanged a small, brief side hug, as awkward as she felt.
“I’m fine, Tucker. How are you?”
Michelle laid a hand on her arm, smiling up at their friend. “It’s Doctor Tucker now. Dr. Tucker Anderson. He’s finished with his residency finally and set up shop here.”
She turned a little pink, offering the lie, “I’m sure I told you.”
Since the day Emma had left Cupid, she’d made sure Michelle understood she didn’t want to hear about Tucker. Not a word.
Leaving him was hard enough.
“Doctor?” Emma let out the strangled word. “You went to medical school?”
“You knew I always liked biology.” The lazy smile stayed on his face.
Michelle’s attention was re-captured by the wedding planner and she turned back to their conversation.
“Yep, Dr. Anderson.” Tucker and Emma stood on the dais to the side. He lowered his voice to add, “I buried my broken heart in text books. It didn’t help when you kept popping up on newscasts by the time I was in medical school. Damned distracting.”
With a half-smile, she said, “Sorry. I’m sure you found lots of solace for your broken heart, what with medical school and all. Women love doctors.”
He didn’t deny her comment. She turned away gladly when the wedding coordinator called, appalled at her waspish statement.
“Over here, attendants!” the woman trilled. “Now, you’re all here, so we can start. And the clergyman? Okay, let’s run through where you’ll stand for the ceremony and then we’ll work on the march in, march out.”
For the next half hour, Emma stood where she was told and listened with half an ear while Michelle and Ryan conferred with the minister and the wedding coordinator. On the other side of the altar, Tucker looked to be waiting casually, but she felt his gaze on her throughout. Just like she’d felt him watching her in eleventh grade math class all those years ago. Just watching, his face unreadable, his dark eyes intent.
Even then, he’d been steamy sexy, rousing so much feminine interest amongst their classmates that Mr. Ponder put him in a seat at the front of the class, just to get the girls to look forward.
She’d been thrilled and gratified that Tucker had wanted to date her, that he’d seemed as aroused by her kisses as she’d been by his.
“Now here,” the wedding coordinator started. “When you march out after the bride and groom, make sure you wait for your partner. Here, you and you.” 
She scurried around, matching them up. “Yes, the matron of honor and the best man walk out together.”
Emma sedately walked down the steps next to Tucker, acutely aware of him six inches away from her shoulder as they marched up the aisle. She could see him as a physician, caring for the sick and infirm. Unfortunately, her image of him in a white coat included him looking really hot with a sexy smile.
She mentally gave herself a shake. Not the way to think of a professional man and probable father of three. Certainly not the way to think about a man she needed to get cured of.
They marched out to the church foyer where the wedding coordinator sent the men in again to stand next to Ryan. “Now, ladies, it’s very important that you don’t rush down the aisle when you march in….”
Emma gave up listening, only attending with half her brain. She’d learned this from the sometimes tedious moments in broadcasting. Lots of waiting around for a very short few minutes of on-air time.
Eventually, the bridesmaids and Michelle marched in with that stutter-step that’s common to wedding entrances. 
Feeling Tucker’s gaze on her, Emma tried to look as casual as she could. She took her place beside Michelle, hoping Tucker’s wife or current squeeze would be in attendance at the rehearsal dinner. She couldn’t take much more of him, particularly in a bar with alcohol flowing.
If she didn’t watch out, she’d find herself succumbing to the sexy heat of the very man she’d divorced ten years before
Damn him.
*
Flopping down on her motel room bed later that evening, Emma snugged her bathrobe belt around her more tightly, telling herself again that caution was the better part of valor. It might have looked cowardly, but she knew she didn’t need to go to the rehearsal dinner and the bar hopping that was planned for afterward.
Here she was, spending Valentine’s Day dateless and dealing with her gorgeous ex-husband. Damn.
The television was murmuring in the background, set on the cable news channel. She’d been immersed in that world so long, attending to the news was like breathing for her, but she wondered now if her future lie in another direction. Lately, quitting the television news game had occurred to her more and more.
Lying there on the bed, she thought briefly about phoning Derek, the producer she’d dated a few times recently, but the prospect didn’t hold much interest for her. There just wasn’t any zing between them. Probably because they were so rarely in the same town.
Emma ran her hand through her damp hair, pondering the life she’d created for herself. Television journalism hadn’t even been on her radar when she graduated high school. Then, all she’d thought about was Tucker—how he smelled, his smile, the way he made her laugh. His broad shoulders and cute butt.
Of course, they’d married too young. Such white, hot ardor had to burn itself out in the reality of living together every day and every night in a small apartment with little money. Her parents had tried to tell her, but she’d been so gone on Tucker, she couldn’t hear their voices of reason until she and her equally immature husband had already made a mess of things.
Thank heavens she’d gotten out before they hated each other totally. As it was, things had gotten pretty harsh.
Leaving had really been her only option. The only thing that had made sense.
The phone on the nightstand next to her suddenly jangled, making Emma jump.
“Hello?”
The sound of Emma’s voice went right to Tucker’s spine, like always.
Standing by the bedside table where his phone sat, he tried to keep it brief. “We need to talk.”
“Tucker?” She sounded surprised at hearing from him. “What do we have to talk about?”
 “Just the fact that we’re still legally married. I think that calls for a conversation,” he drawled, trying to keep a rein on his annoyance. She was acting as if they were now nothing to each other.
Ten years later and he’d never found a woman who got to him like Emma.
“What? We’re divorced. Aren’t we?” She sounded startled and irritated. “Aren’t we? I thought you took care of that years ago. You said you would. I remember it distinctly.”
“Good. I’m glad you remember something about our marriage, if it was just the end of it. No, I didn’t get the divorce. I thought with your determination to shake this town—and me—that you’d get the divorce eventually. All I remember of that last fight was yelling and screaming before you hit the door.”
“Tucker, this isn’t funny. You didn’t get a divorce?”
“I don’t think any of this is funny either and I’ve been a little busy in the last ten years.” He 
went back to drawling. “You never got any legal papers from me. I thought you knew I hadn’t filed.”
“Knew that we’re still married?” Her voice rose into a squeak. “No. No, I didn’t know that. This is terrible. OMG, what the hell?”
Her getting upset, oddly made him feel better. At least, he could still get to her, even if it was the news of their continuing marriage that did it.
“Yeah, I’m stoked about it, too. So, you wanna come over?”
He heard her draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly, as if trying to calm herself. “No! At least, not tonight.”
“How about tomorrow, then. My office? It’s on the west side of the town square. You can’t miss it. Tucker Anderson, M.D. Big letters.”
She seemed so rattled by his news, she didn’t even react to his mocking tone. It wasn’t very flattering.
“Okay. Okay, nine in the morning? We should be able to iron out the divorce details quickly and the wedding stuff doesn’t start till later since Michelle’s scheduled an evening wedding.” 
“You’ve got a date, sweetheart.”
He made himself hang up the phone. It was over. Dead. Just because he wanted to see her again, to talk to her—hell, to kiss her really hard—didn’t mean there was anything left between them.
*
Damn, he’d done well for himself.
Emma let herself into the well-appointed waiting area all done up in blues and greens. The woman seated behind the chest-high reception desk, smiled and said she’d tell the doctor that Emma was there.
She perched on a chair, looking around at the room. Several other patients waited. An older woman peered at her phone, seeming to be playing a game. In the corner a young man held his pre-school aged son on his lap.
Tucker opened a door beside the reception desk, sauntering out. “Emma, you found us.”
He glanced at the patients, stopping by the boy to kneel and have a low-voiced conversation. As he rose, he smiled at the elderly woman who sat in a nearby chair. “Angry Birds?”
The woman laughed, shaking her head. “It’s addictive.”
“I know. Just enjoy yourself. Diane should be free to go take your blood in a moment.”
“No problem, Tucker.” She went back to her game.
Tucker met Emma’s gaze, motioning to the rear of the building. “My office is back here.”
“I can wait if you have a patient.” She nodded at the young boy and his father. Being annoyed and pissy with him wouldn’t get her anywhere. Even if she’d wanted to scream about him not having followed-through with the divorce, she had to at least sound cool.
She didn’t like making the child wait, either.
“No need. They’re here to get an inoculation. I’ll talk with them after the nurse is finished.”
Emma rose to follow him. She didn’t think working out the details for a divorce should take long, not when the marriage had been over so long. It was really just paperwork.
Passing through the door behind Tucker, she followed as they went through the clinic’s work area into a corner office. He closed the office door and turned to face her as she sat down in a chair across from his desk.
She hurried into what she had to say.
“We need to get this finished as quickly as possible—the divorce, I mean. I’m in the middle of buying a house in Connecticut. I don’t even want to think about the legal mess if we don’t settle this.”
Emma glanced around at his office and the rows of medical books on shelves along one wall. “You’ve got a nice set-up here. I’m sure you don’t need complications either.”
He went to a small refrigerator, concealed behind another set of shelves. “Want some juice or bottled water?”
“What? No.”
Tucker sat down behind the desk. “I think we need to talk about this, Emma.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” 
He paused. “I mean really talk about this. I haven’t seen you for ten years.”
“I know.” She looked at him steadily across the desk. “Ten long years.”
Glancing around the office, she smiled. “You’ve done well for yourself. Medical school. This office.” She had to stop herself from saying she was proud of him. Somehow that didn’t sound right.
“You’ve done pretty well yourself, too.” He returned her gaze. “Like I said, I see you on television all the time.”
Despite her annoyance over the whole situation, she couldn’t help chuckling. “I’d understand if you avoided watching the channel I’m on.”
“Why would I do that? And miss seeing your face?”
As she had since she first saw him coming into the reception area, Emma steeled herself against his pull. She just needed to get the legal paperwork started and they could both put this behind them. “We didn’t part friends.”
He laughed then. “No, not friends. I’m not sure we were ever that. If we’d have focused on what we liked about each other, I don’t suppose you would have left at all.” 
 Not knowing what to say, Emma remained silent. What could she say? That she missed him? That leaving was a mistake? Did he even want her to say that?
They’d both made something of their lives. That had to be proof that the separation had been smart.
“Are you engaged? Involved?” She hadn’t meant the question to come out so abruptly.
He raised his eyebrows. “Not currently. Not involved or engaged. You?”
She shook her head.
“Dating anyone?”
Emma supposed she could lie. After all, she had gone out with Derek a few times and, technically, they were dating, even if they hadn’t seen one another for several months.
“No.”
Silence stretched between them again.
“I don’t want a divorce.” Tucker’s quiet sentence fell into the space between them and he looked at her steadily.
Feeling a clutch of emotion and heat in her midsection, Emma tried to sound less wrecked than she felt. He had to be joking. “What? If the women in town knew you were single, they’d hound you? Need a fake marriage buffer?”
“No.” His dark gaze still met hers. “I need a real marriage.”
A flush of anger rose in her then. Emma said hotly, “I’m not sure what you’re saying. We can’t go on this way, with a non-marriage marriage. Living practically a continent apart with no contact, no interaction.”
Tucker shook his head. “No, I don’t want to go on that way.”
“Just exactly what are you saying then?” Emma kept a tight rein on the turmoil inside her. She had loved Tucker and she had to admit to herself that he wasn’t even now completely out of her system. 
He looked down at the files on his desk, taking a moment to respond. “I’m not sure exactly what I’m saying. I just know—“
Lifting his gaze to bore into her, he said, “I just know I’m not ready for a divorce. Not…yet. Not without talking about…some things.”
“What things?” She knew her exasperation was visible and registered that being angry was easier than the other emotions she had when she saw him again.
“The past. Just what exactly happened between us?”
“Oh for heaven’s sake.” She threw out a hand. “We had the hots for each other. We were high school kids who wanted to boink our brains out, that’s all. End of story. Let’s move on.”
There was a tap on his office door.
He threw her a glance, calling out, “Yes.”
A woman in scrubs poked her head around the door. “Doctor, little Brandon’s ready to be seen.”
“Thank you.”
As the nurse shut the door, Tucker stood. “Why don’t you come back at noon and we’ll finish this over lunch?”
Emma shook her head. “This is a small town. I’m not sure I—or you—want the attention or the listening ears that we’d find in any local restaurant.”
Tucker nodded. “Okay. Then we’ll have lunch at my house.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Come on, Emma.” His voice was low. “We started this together, you and I. Don’t you think we need to end it that way. I promise not to rip your clothes off.”
She looked at him, hoping she didn’t rip his off, either.
*
Following Tucker’s instructions, Emma pulled up several hours later in front of a large, beautiful new home, complete with several out-buildings visible at the rear. It sat in a new development on what had been cow pasture when Emma grew up in Cupid.
She was here about the divorce, she reminded herself. Nothing more. Curiosity about how he lived had no place in this. Even if she was.
Emma walked up the slate path to the front and Tucker opened the front door before she could even knock.
He had a kitchen towel tied around his trim waist and he waved her in. “Come on back to the kitchen. I’m just making us some paninis.”
“You cook now?” She followed him through a wide hall into a spacious kitchen filled with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. She hadn’t seen such an up-to-date spread outside of HGTV.
Tucker threw her a grin. “Cooking has much in common with chemistry, I found. It’s not that hard.”
She sat down on a bar stool placed next to a big island. “In my place in Manhattan, finding a spot to put down take-out is difficult.”
“A big reason I returned to Cupid.” He placed a plate with a perfectly grilled sandwich in front of her. “I did a surgical rotation in Brooklyn. It was fun, but I missed home.”
Butterflies jumped around unpleasantly in her stomach, she looked up. “You were in the city?”
“Yep. For two months.”
Emma couldn’t respond, thinking about how close they’d been without knowing. He’d have finished college and started medical school about the same time she was climbing the ranks at the network.
Her job in New York seemed like another world, far away from Cupid. Her other life, a few time zones away. She had to get this settled here, so she could go back to Connecticut without the marriage hanging over her head. She needed to go back to her life on the East Coast, even if this sleepy Texas town were tugging on her sensibilities.
Even if the man in front of her was playing havoc with her emotions.
The truth was she didn’t mind being away from the stress at the network, even if she was addicted to CNN and hearing whatever was happening in the news world. It was nice to take a break from doing the news, if this could be called a break.
She’d fought long and hard to claw her way out of this small town and into an important job in New York. It made no sense to second guess that now, she knew. She needed to be careful not to lose her footing in the morass of emotion Tucker still raised in her. Everything would be simpler—and less embarrassing—if he’d just agree to a quiet divorce. They could both move on and she wouldn’t have to admit to anyone that a sophisticated television reporter like herself hadn’t actually made sure the divorce went through.
No murkiness with the note on the new house, no lingering ties to a man from her past.
Nodding at the small flat television at the end of the counter, she asked, “Do you mind turning that on for a few minutes? One of my stories is supposed to be on the noon news.”
“Not at all.” He picked up a small remote and turned on the television before handing it to her. “I think it’s already on your channel.”
Taking it from him, she steeled herself not to react to the warmth of his fingers, brushing against hers.
Turning up the sound on the set, they sat watching for a few minutes, until her story aired. Emma tried not to analyze her word choice or critique her hair, listening instead to the quality of the reporting and the delivery.
“Good job. Very concisely summed up…and you looked good, too.” He sounded sincere.
“Thanks. I have to admit I never expected compliments from you. At least, not now.” She clicked the television off. She never failed to see something she could have done better or said differently in her work, but this story had played without obvious flaws.
“Nonsense. I’m not your enemy. Where did you end up going to school anyway?” Tucker brought his own sandwich over and sat next to her. He seemed to think her being on television was just another job and, strangely, she found this more comfortable than his making a big deal of it. After all, she’d been a journalist quite a while now. Being on television wasn’t a novelty to her anymore.
“I went to Columbia University. Television journalism. In my last year, I got an internship that turned into a grunt job at the network. But it was my foot in the door.”
“And you just kept going?”
She grinned as she studied where to take her next bite of panini. “Yep. Just kept going. What about you? When did medicine seem like the right path?” 
Tucker observed that Emma looked relaxed, sitting there in his kitchen. His wife. He still couldn’t think of her any differently, even though they’d spent more time apart than together. She certainly looked more relaxed now than when she’d walked into the church last night.
Tucker munched a chip, studying her. The expertly highlighted hair curled around her head in a sleek cut. He supposed it was understandable that she’d looked a little tense when they met after so many years.
“I started thinking about medicine in my sophomore year of college, I guess. Didn’t tell anyone what I was thinking until a year or so later.” He grinned at her. “Getting into medical school takes both grades and a good score on the MCAT. It took me a while to decide if I wanted to quit partying to focus on all that.”
“But you did.”
“Yes. After that it was straight forward. Biology degree. Medical school. Residency.”
He had to admit to himself that he liked her interest. That perhaps all through school in these past years, he’d even had a little urge to make her regret leaving him.
“Your parents must be proud.” She smiled at him.
“I think so. What about yours?” Trying to ignore the pull of her smile, he took another bite of his sandwich. Falling back in love with her now wouldn’t do him any good.
Emma was good at walking away.
He couldn’t even say he’d really gotten over her after she’d left. Tucker had gone on, but sitting here with her now, just confirmed for him that he’d always felt a tie between them.
She shrugged. “Oh, yes. Big network job, tiny New York apartment. Lots of travel. Even if the pay is only so-so, it sounds glamorous.”
“But there are other rewards, right?”
She looked down at her plate, stirring her chips with a finger. “Yes. I get to talk to fascinating people and go to the hot spots.”
“Some of that has to be pretty scary,” he observed. “Sometimes bad things happen to news people. Like that 60 Minutes reporter who was attacked in a crowd.”
She nodded, looking serious. “Yes, it’s scary sometimes.”
Tucker knew he had to ask. “So is there someone special you’ve come home to? You said you weren’t dating anyone now.”
Meeting his gaze, Emma shook her head. “That’s one of the trade-offs. It’s very hard to maintain relationships in this job. Plenty of random sex available, if you’re into that sort of thing.”
She shrugged. “I’m just not, so it gets kind of lonely. Television journalism is a rough life in general. You give everything to it and sometimes at the end of the day, it’s hard to say why.”
Tucker knew all about the kind of loneliness he saw on her face, but it didn’t make any sense to reproach her now for having left him. It must have been hard for her, too.
“So, about this divorce,” she started.
“We were just kids when we married.” His words were more abrupt than he’d meant them to be. 
“I know,” she said after a few minutes. “Making a marriage takes work and emotional maturity. We just weren’t ready.”
Tucker rubbed his hand over his face. “I wasn’t…mature or easy to get along with. I pushed you away.”
Sitting next to him at the bar, Emma stared at her half-eaten sandwich. “Neither of us had a clue. Just a lot of…chemistry.”
“Really hot sex,” he concluded. “But you’re right. We neither one had enough maturity then.”
After a pause, Emma swallowed and said, “The sex was really hot, though.”
“Yes.” He sometimes still had steamy dreams about them together.
She looked up from her plate then. “So what do you want now? The really hard work in your career is behind you. What now? I—I half-expected you to be married to a skinny blonde with three kids.”
Wondering how she felt about that possibility, Tucker laughed, shaking his head. “No. No blonde. No kids.”
He wanted to tell her that every time he’d thought about starting something serious with someone else, he’d remembered her lips and her sweet love. He didn’t say anything, though, not wanting to scare her or to put himself out there yet.
“About the divorce…?”
“What do you want? What’s next for you?” He wanted to ask if she’d missed him, if she ever thought about what might have been—regretted walking away--but he didn’t. “More travel? More stories, I guess.”
She didn’t say anything about his non-answer, going back to her sandwich. Finally, she looked up. “I want to write a book. Several, actually. About the situation in Europe and how the financial policies have impacted every day people.”
He returned her gaze, knowing he was just avoiding the “d” word. “That sounds interesting. Could you do that and maintain the reporting you’ve been doing?”
Shrugging, Emma crunched down on a chip and chewed before she responded. “This may sound…strange after making my career my total focus, but I’ve thought about taking a hiatus. Taking some time off from the hectic television news schedule.”
“Time away from the camera?”
She looked down. “Something like that. I’m a little tired of airports and my new boss is—is treating me a little like a lackey. Like a chess piece to be moved wherever he wants. I guess that’s just part of the job, but it gets old.”
“I can imagine.” He looked at her soft mouth and the line of her cheek and he acknowledged to himself what had been true all these years—he didn’t want a divorce. Didn’t want a mythical blonde to mother his three kids. “You want to stay in one place for awhile and write a book? That sounds interesting.”
“Yes.” Emma paused and then burst out, “Tucker, what are we going to do about this marriage? We need to talk about that, not me writing a book.”
He lifted his brows. “We could do both.”
“So let’s talk about the divorce.” She said it in a rush.
Tucker reached out, putting his hand over her wrist. “Is that what you want? To scrub ‘us’ out of your mind and move on?”
She looked at his hand on her arm and then swung her gaze up to meet his eyes. “What are you suggesting? What did you mean this morning when we were at your office and you said you weren’t ‘ready’ for a divorce?”
Instead of answering, Tucker stood, pulling her off her stool and into his arms. Without waiting, he lowered his mouth to hers and instantly felt the familiar hitch in his groin. She felt sweetly familiar in his arms, so perfect. Rounded, but more muscled. More woman than girl. He heard her draw in a swift breath, her fingers clutching at the sleeves of his shirt and his mouth lowered to moved lazily over hers.
He registered the jut of her breasts against his chest as his tongue slid into her mouth and his hand slid down to cup her sweet butt. She fit just right against him, her pelvis against his erection. Her slim shoulders nestled in his embrace.
Slowly the roar in his ears faded some and he eased away from her, let his mouth lift from hers. This could end in so many bad ways. She could break his heart again. She could walk away like she had before.
Emma leaned her head against his chest, still in his arms. “Wow. That hasn’t changed.”
She looked up at him, repeating, “That hasn’t changed. Oh my God. Tucker?”
*
The phone rang and rang with no answer. Emma hung up, not bothering to leave a message. She knew that Allison would call back as soon as she saw the missed call on her phone.
Emma needed to clear her head and talking to Michelle about all this just hours before the ceremony wouldn’t be in her friend’s best interests. So, Allison was her next thought.
Yes, what Emma had told Tucker about wanting to take some time to write a book was true. True, too, that she was tired of traveling to the ends of the earth at a moment’s notice. She also didn’t much like the new head of her department. She missed this small town where she’d grown up and she’d lately been wondering about her former friends’ lives. Facebook only did so much.
But all of that didn’t necessarily mean she wanted to move back to Cupid.
Did it?
She’d been in such a hurry to leave this town and her abortive, broken marital dreams that she couldn’t run fast enough.
Brriinngg. Her cell phone emitted a ring like a phone from the forties. Picking up her phone, she slid her finger across the bottom of the screen. “Hello?”
“Hey, sister.” Allison’s voice came through the speaker. “How are things in the back of beyond?”
Emma sighed. “Confused.”
“Not as easy as you thought, huh?” Her friend laughed kindly. “Going home never is, when you get to be an adult. Your friend losing her mind, what with trying to have the perfect wedding?”
“No.” Emma responded baldly. “It’s not her, it’s me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think I’m losing my mind.” Slumping down on her motel room bed, Emma confessed, “I never told you, but…I’m married.”
“What? To who?”
 “A boy I went to school with. Tucker. Tucker Anderson, M.D. now. I thought I was divorced and it happened so long ago, I just never mention it to anyone. I—I guess it’s too hard to talk about Tucker. I thought the legal stuff was over, that he’d gotten a divorce when I left for college…. But it turns out, I’m still married.”
“Wow. You’re married to a doctor? And you didn’t think to mention this?” Allison’s rich laughter rang out again. “And he’s there in Cupid?”
“Yes, he’s here. I didn’t know he’d gone to medical school, but I knew he’d be here—“
“That’s why you weren’t excited about going back.” Allison had encouraged her to come home, saying she loved to revisit the haunts of her youth.
“Yes. I knew I’d see Tucker.” Emma leaned back on the bed, resting her head against the headboard. “I haven’t seen him since we split up, back when I was still a teenager. Before I even went to college.”
“What were your parents thinking, letting you get married so young?”
“I was eighteen,” Emma said sadly, “and very determined. I…I loved Tucker, before we started arguing all the time and we struggled to pay the rent. That was one good thing our parents did. If we were going to act like adults, they said we needed to act like adults and pay our own bills.”
“This was before college? Not so easy to pay your own way when you only have a high school education.”
“Very true.” Emma lie curled on her bed, the phone to her ear. “I’m…I’m just confused now. I had lunch with Tucker at his house this afternoon and—“
“—And?”
“And we kissed and, oh, Allison, it was really good. It felt like no time had passed. If anything, it was better. He says he doesn’t want a divorce.”
“What? He wants to make it work now? For you to live together and have babies? What?”
Emma rolled over on her back. “I’m not sure, but I think he wants all that.”
“You better make sure what you want. Before you quit your job and move across the country, girl. You need to be really, really sure what you’re looking for. Didn’t you say you left? You left him. It’d be good for you to think about it long and hard before you throw away your career and jump into being Mrs. Doctor.”
*
“Thanks for taking me to the airport.” Emma didn’t look at Tucker, pulling the strap of her carry-on bag up on her shoulder as they stood just inside the tiny airport terminal.
Tucker felt like his chest was caving in again. He didn’t know if there had been any real chance of her giving their marriage another go, but whatever she’d felt when she kissed him back so fervently yesterday, it hadn’t been enough to keep her from leaving for good.
She was leaving again.
Going back to a life without him. All she’d said when she phoned earlier that morning was that they each had lives they’d worked for and that she needed to return to hers.
Tucker recognized now that he still loved her. Through the whole wedding uproar last night, he’d kept grinning at her, unable to keep from sharing the insanity of it all with the one person he felt closest to. The woman he loved. Then when the circus wound down, she’d told him goodnight and walked away.
That had kind of been the theme for them—Emma walking away.
He’d hadn’t planned at all on the evening ending that way. Tucker had hoped last night that she just needed to think it out, but then she’d called this morning, asking him to take her to the little puddle-jumper plane for her flight back.
“Are you sure?” The question popped out before he knew it.
She looked up at him then. “Yes. It’s—it’s best this way. You need to find your blonde and have those three kids.”
Nothing sounded less appealing to him. Tucker almost wished she hadn’t needed him to bring her this morning. Seeing her again wasn’t making it any easier. Emma’s parents had moved away from Cupid years ago and after the debacle of a non-marriage last night, Michelle wasn’t exactly available. Like the smart woman she was, she’d baled out on marrying his messed up step-brother, running for the hills with the man she really loved. Despite her mother’s crying to beat the band. 
Tucker’s step-brother’s money had been a big draw there, he knew.
Tucker now looked at Emma, trying not to memorize the curve of her cheek, the feel of her next to him. He didn’t need the sleepless nights, but he knew from previous experience that getting Emma out of his blood would be a struggle.
Again, she was walking away.
She swallowed, looking up to meet his gaze. “We both have lives. Responsibilities.”
He knew she was afraid, but he couldn’t help his fury over her cowardliness. “Yes.”
“I’ve worked really hard for this career. Like you’ve worked for yours.”
He didn’t say anything. What was there really to say?
*
Emma sat strapped into her seat, the small airplane vibrating around her as it prepared to take off. She’d spent last night, staring up at the motel ceiling, thinking about the major step of leaving her job.
But even that didn’t scare her as much as the possibility of trying and failing again with Tucker.
She’d barely crawled out of the ashes last time, spending her entire freshman year of college locked in her dorm room, crying and trying to find the will power to study for her assignments. Knowing she had to leave him, leave the marriage hadn’t made it easier. She hadn’t gone to the freshman mixers or joined in the giddy life of the dorm. Hell, no, she spent her days and nights grieving a tempestuous, dark-eyed boy.
Did she need that again? If she started up the relationship again with Tucker, she had no guarantees. What if they still couldn’t settle their differences? Still couldn’t learn to live together. Lots of couples tried a re-do, but not many managed to make it work the second time. 
Finally, in the early morning hours, she’d come to a decision. Emma had known she just needed to walk away from the personal Waterloo that faced her. Tucker had always been the one man who made her the craziest…in every way. And that scared her crazy.
She could write a book anyway. Take time off of her job to pursue other interests. She didn’t have to risk her peace of mind and her heart, did she?
Did she?
Still, as she sat crowded into the small plane with three others and two pilots, she couldn’t stop the tears. Tucker was down there, watching her fly away. Watching her leave him again.
She’d both hated to call him for a ride to the airport and craved one last sight of him. If she’d have been able to think of one other person in the wrecked wedding party that might have been able to give her a ride, she’d liked to believe she wouldn’t have bothered Tucker.
Using a shred of tissue she found in her purse, she mopped her cheeks and tried to stop thinking of the only man she’d ever really loved.
*
“You just left him?” Allison held a cup of strong tea cradled in both hands. “Even though he’d kissed the bejezzus out of you? Even though you’re probably still in love with him.”
Emma wiped at her eyes and went back to staring at her cup of coffee, the hum of the other customers at the coffee shop around her. “Yes. I left...and I haven’t stopped crying since. What is the matter with me?”
Allison took a bite of her bear claw, saying in a muffled voice, “You know what’s the matter.” 
She swallowed her pastry. “Look you haven’t had a serious relationship in years—“
“I have a very busy job,” Emma defended. “Who can stay involved with anyone when they’re all over the place?”
“Very true.” Her friend continued munching her pastry. “All the more reason to quit the job. You’re tired of traveling, tired of living out of a suitcase. And you said so yourself—you can’t have a life or a relationship if you’re not even on the same continent. Quit the job. You’ve been talking about it off and on for the last six months.”
“Okay. You’re right about the job…, but this situation with Tucker isn’t…. It isn’t even about the job.”
The café door opened and shut behind Emma as another couple of patrons came in, patting frozen hands together as they huddled in front of the counter.
Emma looked up at Allison. “You think I’m just afraid of not—not making it with Tucker, don’t you?”
Allison gulped her tea before swallowing as she wiped her mouth. “What I think isn’t that important. You know why you left Cupid before and why you left this time. Don’t you think it’s time to face your fears?”
*
The blustery Texas February gale promised a rare snow for this late in the month. Heck, snow outside the panhandle was a Texas rarity regardless. Leaving his office, Tucker got quickly inside his Acura, the quiet chill matching the darkness of his thoughts.
He couldn’t stop thinking of Emma. Of the shuttered expression on her face as she walked away from him at the tiny airport almost two weeks ago. Common sense told him he ought to expect to hear from her divorce lawyer any day now.
Letting himself fall for her all over again had been stupid.
The short drive to his house was accomplished in only a few minutes and he turned down his street, knowing he needed to start thinking about dating again. Hell, he hadn’t even seriously thought about another woman since he’d laid eyes on Emma in their junior year. But he needed to distract himself, to find a way to consider moving on.
Frowning as he pulled into his driveway and waited for the garage door to lift, he saw a dark car parked in front of his house. Inside, he’d barely shrugged out of his overcoat when the doorbell rang.
Tucker went through the entry hall.
Pulling the front door open, he saw Emma standing there, hunched in a coat.
“Can I come in?”
“No. I’ve got my blonde wife and three kids to consider,” he shot back.
Emma smiled. “Don’t be an ass, Tucker. Let me in.”
Even though he was so mad he could shake her, a bubble of hope began to rise in him. She was here!
He stepped back, closing the door behind her. When he turned back to her, she stood still in his entry hall.
“I’m scared.” She took a deep breath, repeating, “Scared, Tucker. Aren’t you? We didn’t do too well at this marriage thing before. What makes you think we could make it work this time?”
He shook his head. “Maybe we can’t. I don’t think there’s a guarantee.”
Emma’s shoulders seemed to sag a little. “Then, why—“
“But maybe we can,” he interrupted. “Emma, we’re not the same kids we were ten years ago. We’ve grown up. Both learned a few things.”
Her gaze was glued to his face.
Tucker leaned back against the door. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve had to do some serious growing up in the past decade. I’m betting you did, too.”
“That’s true.”
“I’ve had to work with surgeons who were jerks, with patients who don’t take care of their health and expect me to work miracles. I now take care of the health of a small town. I manage an office and deal with staff.” He took a breath and blew it out. “And all that time, I kept thinking of you. Sometimes I hated you. I never actually wished you dead, but I wouldn’t have minded a little harm coming your way—“
Emma grinned. “It did and I wished you harm, too, so that’s all fair.”
Taking a step away from the door, he demanded, “Why did you come back? Just to ask me questions and make more of a case for divorce?”
“No. I—I cried all the way home when I left.” She made a wry face. “The people next to me on two different flights asked if I was okay.”
Emma shook her head a little. “I wasn’t, Tucker. I wasn’t okay. I left because…this is crazy. I was scared. I shouldn’t feel anything for you anymore. We were in the past. It shouldn’t feel like we’re a couple. Like we belong together anymore.”
“But it does,” he finished for her. “Doesn’t it? Feel like we belong together?”
She looked down at the tiled floor of the entry. “Yes.”
Tucker waited, knowing she had more to say, wanting to catch her in his arms and kiss her senseless.
“Nothing feels as right as you,” Emma met his gaze. “I think—I think I’m through running, Tucker. I want to feel you holding me. I want to learn how to listen when you’re annoyed.”
She took a deep breath. “I want to be with you.”
Not even waiting for the end of her declaration, Tucker stepped forward and took hold of the woman he loved. “Let’s get through this mess together, sweetheart. What do you say?”
Emma smiled at him through the moisture in her eyes. “I think that’s really why I came back to Cupid. For you.”