Goodbye

Kat Halstead
www.kathalstead.com
© 2012
Smashwords Edition
Breathe in, breathe out.
Taking a step forward she caught the sun glistening off the lake, the feel of the cool water as the breeze grazed against her skin. She pulled her sunglasses on, not only to protect her from the sun and from the memories.  
A wooden cross had been placed in memory of what had happened here. That was years ago however and most of it had worn away thanks to the sun, wind and dust. Any of the trinkets that had been placed in memorial of them had vanished, drifted away as the time passed.
Reaching down she touched the worn edges of wood, saying a silent prayer for just a moment before looking towards the lake again. Pushing her hair from her face as the wind picked up.
“Beautiful isn’t it? Even for a tragic history,” His voice sent a chill down her spin, flooding her with more memories of summers from her past. Nights under the stars, afternoons by the lake, beers by a bon fire and kisses under the moon.
Turning she smiled and removed her sunglasses, taking in the vision of him. The past few years had matured him, but his eyes still had the sparkle that made her fall in love with him in the first place. “A tragic history or a tragic story, neither sounds inviting.”
His expression changed as he took in the sight of her. This was not the girl that spent her college summers waiting tables down the road. This was not a girl in blue jeans and t-shirts. “Chelsia,” He gasped, feeling his heart racing.
She smiled, folding her glasses, “Long time Josh.”
He looked around as though watching the wind pushing something around, anything to keep from looking at her. Finally after a moment or so of silence he looked into her crystal eyes, “Why are you here Chelsia? What brings you back, why now?”
She studied her sunglasses, her thumb rubbing along the Dior logo on the side. “I just am Josh. Do I need a reason to be here?”
He took a few steps forward, keeping his gaze on the lake and away from her, “Well considering you haven’t been back since then, something had to bring you back now.”
Crossing her arms over her chest she looked out at the lake, “My schedule finally cleared up. Being a grown up brings stuff like that.”
The sun danced over the water, “That explains the clothing.”
She looked down at her black sand crepe dress, “Yes well, it comes with the job.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” He started to walk back towards the road. “I am amazed you would wear that out here in this field. At least it’s the right color.”
Chelsia swung around, her dark hair flapping in the wind, “At least I came here Josh.”
He stopped, looking at her, “Why not back then?”             
She pushed the hair behind her ear, “Because, it was too fucking hard, okay?”
“Too hard to say goodbye,” He moved towards her, his eyes darting one way and the other. “He was your boyfriend!”
“You don’t think I know that?” Her face crunched up in confusion. “I loved him, I couldn’t say goodbye. I didn’t want to, but now, now I have to.”
He watched her turn back towards the lake, to the memories it held. He watched her hands move down to her fingers, noticing she was no longer playing with her sunglasses but with a ring on her left hand. “Who is he?”
Chelsia looked at her ring, “He’s a lawyer in New York. He was advising on the series I was working on.” She looked up into his eyes, “He proposed last week, insisted I wear the ring before answering.”
Josh took an unsteady breath, “Do you love him?”
Fiddling with her ring she smiled, “I want to. But only one man has ever made me feel alive. That’s why I’m here Josh, to put it all to rest.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He studied her and then looked at the cross. “How is standing here, saying goodbye to Alex going to do that?”
She looked out to the lake, a chill engulfing her body. “Apologizing, it’s my fault this happened.”
“Chelsia, you weren’t alone that night.”
She nodded as she reached out and caressed his cheek, “You’re right. For one night in my life I felt alive like I never had before and I haven’t felt since.”
Josh was speechless, he tried to grab her hand to stop her but it was too little, too late. She was already at the side of the rode, slipping into her rental car. For now he stood alone at the site where his best friend died. The breeze picking up, the water rippling with it, as he pondered what had just happened.

Breathe in, breathe out.
He sat in his car, not really surprised to see her rental here. He leaned back thinking again about what she’d said. Closing his eyes he could take himself back to that night, when he’d knocked on her door and kissed her.
Josh hadn’t just kissed he that night, he’d made love to her. The way he’d fantasized about since he’d first seen her four years before that. He spent four years watching his best friend love her, hold her, kiss her and finally one night he had to tell her, or rather show her how he felt.
She’d kissed him back that night, practically ripped his shirt off of him before pushing him against the wall. Exploring his chest with her finger tips, while her tongue explored his mouth, the memory of it all still got him hot and bothered.
He realized that it was now or never, time to force her to confront him, to find out exactly what was going on, find out exactly what she wanted. Yet he couldn’t help but feel like he was about to sacrifice the man he’d become for a moment to be the boy he was, as he knocked on the door of her motel room.
She smiled when she saw him, “Josh, what brings you by?” Her hair was still damp from a shower, her body engulfed in a terry cloth bathrobe, her feet bare.
“You know why I’m here.” He pushed his way into the room, for a moment he couldn’t help but smile. It was the same room she’d spent her final summer at the lake living in. Apart of him thought it still smelled the same.
Closing the door she watched him, look around the room studying everything that was just the same as it had been just those few years ago. “Maybe I don’t know why you’re here.”
He laughed and moved towards her, reaching out for the terry cloth tie that kept her robe closed. He caught it before she could jump back, pulling her forward, crushing her body against his. “Stop playing around Chelsia. You know why I’m here, and I know why you came back.”
She looked into his eyes, “What are you doing to do about it?”
Josh pulled her closer, his hands slipping inside the robe against her bare, freshly showered skin, his mouth covering hers.

Breathe in, breathe out.
Chelsia looked around the room, Josh sleeping in the bed as she watched from her perch on the dresser, she ran her hands through her hair, rubbed her eyes as she sighed.
Josh began to stir, reaching for her, sitting up when she wasn’t next to him. He looked around before pausing when he saw her in the black Victoria’s Secret bra and panties, watching him.
She got down, opening the drawers, pulling out a pair of seven jeans and a black blouse. “I’m leaving in the morning.”
He wrapped the bed sheet around his waist and took her hand, “You’re going back to him?”
“Of course I am.” She looked at the diamond on her left hand.
“What am I? Some sort of itch you have to scratch when things get too serious for you?”
She pulled on her jeans, tilting her head to the side, “A moment, a chance to take a deep breath of life.”
“Fine, go marry your lawyer.” He looked for his clothing, “And then in another three years when you want to take a deep breath of life, don’t come looking for me.”
She shook her head, “I didn’t just come to town to get in your pants Josh.”
“So explain it to me then.” He pulled his boxers on while glaring at her, telling himself not to let his imagination get away from him.
“Closure,” Her voice sent a chill to the air as she slipped into her Tod’s sandals and started to pack things into her suitcase. “I said goodbye to Alex, and now I’ve said goodbye to you Josh.”
He opened the door, his eyes taking in the sight of her one last time. He felt sick because he knew what she said was true. This had been goodbye, and nothing could change it now, no matter what he wanted.am the one, and only for him.