Livin’ Just Enough: SistaGirlz, Book #1 ~ Rachael’s Story SistaGirlz Volume 1 Lea Mishell Copyright 2012 Lea Mishell Smashwords Edition Smashwords Edition, License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. Publisher’s Note: This book is a work of fiction. Any reference to historical events, real people, living and dead, or to real locales are intended only to give the fiction a setting in historic reality. Other names, characters, places, business and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and their resemblance, if any, to real life counterparts is entirely coincidental. Cover Design: Lea Mishell, Robert “Rob Boo” Ford, Jr. Cover Model: Coco Brown Editors: Lea Mishell, Shereytah Reed First Edition published by AuthorHouse, 2003 This book will also be available in print at most online retailers. Contents 1 Childhood Sweethearts… 2 Secret Lovers… 3 Playing House… 4 Reality Check… 5 Diva in Distress… 6 The Return of the Ex… 7 Weddings and Funerals… 8 Unwanted Guest… 9 For Old Times’ Sake… 10 Love You Forever… 11 A Promise Is A Promise… 12 A Change in Plans… 13 Ya Shoulda Told The Truth… 14 Reunited… 15 And It Feels So Good… 16 Me and Mr. Jones… 17 Facing the Truth… 18 One Last Try… 19 ‘Til Death Do Us Part… 20 Because Love Never Dies… Livin’ Just Enough SistaGirlz, Book #1 ~ Rachael’s Story Lea Mishell “Smile when you see someone who’s done you wrong. It means that God has given them another chance to make things right.” Lm… 1 Childhood Sweethearts… Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rachael Wallace, but my friends call me Baby Girl. Growing up, I was always the good girl next door. Never did anything to get in trouble. Mommy’s little angel. That is until I finally gave in to Aaron Jones. See, I had known Aaron since our first day of kindergarten. Through their many run-ins at parent-teacher conferences and single mother outings, our mothers became friends and, in turn, Aaron and I became friends. It seemed natural for us to grow from friendship into love. Unfortunately, while I was falling in love with Aaron, he was going down a negative path that introduced him to life on the wrong side of the law. When my mother first heard through the grapevine that Aaron was a drug dealer, she thought she was telling me something that I didn’t already have suspicions about. “Baby Girl, I don’t want you hangin’ ‘round Ron no mo’,” said Mama out of the blue one late summer evening. Taken aback, I stopped washing dishes and asked the obligatory, “Why not?” “Somebody told me they seen that boy hangin’ with some other boys dealin’ drugs on the corner last week,” she slurred, sloshing her glass of Jack and Coke onto the linoleum. Since I wasn’t facing her, I felt safe to roll my eyes without getting smacked in the back of my head. “That’s not true, Mama.” Cuz he wasn’t on the corner last week. He was with me in his mama’s basement trynna get his hands under my skirt! “He’s only fifteen, Mama. Besides, didn’t you say we shouldn’t listen to gossip?” I said as I continued to wash the dishes. “I thought you and Aaron’s mama were friends. Don’t you think she would know if her son was a drug dealer?” “Like Nessa know what that boy be doin’! She so busy runnin’ her fast ass out in the damn streets, I’d be surprised if she even knew he was trying to fuck you,” said Mama as she lit a cigarette. Before she could finish her first puff, I did my fake cough to let her know how I felt about her smoking. We’d made a deal that if she didn’t smoke around me, I wouldn’t bother her about it. “Baby Girl, I don’t want you with that boy, ya hear me?” Mama said as she walked out of the kitchen. “Yes ma’am. I’ll stay away from Aaron.” That was the first time I ever lied to my mother, but it wasn’t the last of me doing things I never thought I would do. * * “Baby, what took you so long?! I been waiting over an hour fa yo’ sexy ass!” Aaron said as he pulled me into his arms. Reluctantly pushing him away, I said, “My mama just left the house. I had to wait until she was gone cuz she said…” When I hesitated, Aaron lifted my chin. “What did she say, Rachael?” he asked with concern. Only when we were alone did he call me by my given name. “She said that I can’t see you anymore,” I said as I cried on his shoulder. He held me close as we sat down on his mama’s front porch. “She said she heard that you were with some boys dealin’ drugs on a corner.” When Aaron didn’t deny what I’d told him, I looked up at him. “You weren’t, were you?” “Baby, what you don’t know won’t hurt you,” Aaron grinned at me. Was my mother right? Was Aaron hanging with drug dealers? Was he a drug dealer? Before I could ask him what he meant, his boy Kris Young walked up on us. Aaron released me to greet his friend. “Sup Kris,” Aaron said as he and Kris exchanged dap. “Nuthin Ron. Sup Baby Girl.” I glared at Kris because he interrupted my conversation with Aaron. I wanted to know the truth and I wanted it NOW! “Hey, Baby Girl, gon’ in the house while I talk to Kris for a minute,” Aaron gently commanded with a kiss to my cheek. “But Aaron…” I began. “Rachael. Go in the house!” my boyfriend said through clenched teeth. Aaron never used my real name in front of his boys. For all they knew, Baby Girl was the name my mama gave me. Since he’d never used my given name in front of his boys, and because he’d surprised me with his tone, I did as he asked. Moments later, Aaron entered the house. As I sat on the couch, pouting, I watched my boyfriend walk toward me with his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry about that little interruption, Baby,” Aaron apologized as he stood in front of me. “I hope this will make up for it.” From behind his back, Aaron pulled out a small turquoise jewelry box. Inside was a silver Tiffany & Co. chain with a dangling platinum silver heart pendant. Before this, the most expensive gift he’d ever given me was a $200 gift card for the Galleria Mall. I was so shocked that he could even afford such a lovely gift! “Oh! Aaron, it’s beautiful!” As I admired the necklace, I stood up to hug my boyfriend. “You still mad at me?” he asked as he clasped the trinket around my neck before kissing me on my neck. Gently pushing him away and looking into his hazel eyes, I said, “I wasn’t mad at you but you still didn’t answer my question.” “About what?” he asked as he pulled me closer to him to kiss his way down from my ear to my breasts. Smiling because his touch tickled me, I replied, “About whether or not you’re a drug dealer.” Aaron abruptly stopped kissing me to look into my eyes. “Look Rachael, I’ll tell you only what you need to know but don’t go asking me a bunch of questions. Either you trust me or you don’t, ah’ight?” Before I could respond, Aaron gently pushed me back down onto the couch, knelt between my legs and opened them. “I wish you had on a skirt. Would make it easier to do this.” “Aaron… what do you think you’re doing?” I yelped. Sitting up on my elbows, silently I thanked God that I chose to wear shorts as I thought back to our last un-chaperoned encounter. Up until now, when it came to sex, Aaron and I had only gone as far as clothes burning in his mama’s basement but today he acted like he was trying to take things to a whole ‘nutha level! As he slowly kissed me from my knees up to the edge of my shorts, I squirmed while I inwardly debated whether to continue interrogating him about what my mother had said or just see how far Aaron thought he could go. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost didn’t feel him unbutton my shorts! “Aaron, what are you doing?” I asked breathlessly. Looking up at me, he replied, “Rachael, I love you and I want to show you how much.” Aaron had never said the words “I love you”. I was so surprised that I didn’t know how to respond except to say, “I love you, too, Aaron.” “Then let me make love to you,” he said as he tenderly pulled me up from the couch. “Now.” As he led me upstairs to his bedroom, I realized that no one was home and since I was a 15-year-old virgin and not on the Pill, I stopped suddenly. “We can’t!” “Why not?” Aaron asked quietly before he slipped his hands around my waist. Kissing me on my neck again, he said, “My mom’s gone and I’ve got condoms in my room.” “You do?!” I nearly shrieked. “Yeah. I don’t wanna get my Baby Girl pregnant until after we get married,” said Aaron as he took my hand and continued to lead me to his room. “Pregnant? MARRIED?!” This time I snatched my hand away from him. “We can’t do this, Aaron!” Turning to face me, he asked, “Rachael, didn’t I tell you that as long as you are my girl, no harm would ever come to you?” “Yeah, but…” “Rachael, have I ever lied to you?” “Not exactly,” I replied thinking of how he evaded my earlier queries about his questionable activities. Like the fact that you haven’t admitted that you’re hanging with drug dealers… or worse. That YOU are a drug dealer! “Why would I start now?” he said as he sat on the top step. “I love you too much to lose you and if you don’t wanna do this now, we won’t. I can wait. Hopefully not until our wedding night but if that’s how you want it, fine. I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.” “Aaron… how can I trust you with my body if you don’t completely trust me?” I asked fearfully. “I do trust you, Baby…” he said, reaching for my hand. “Then tell me the truth. Are you a drug dealer?” I asked directly. I stood in the middle of the staircase looking up at that boy for what felt like an eternity. In reality, only a few seconds had passed. “Will you leave me if I tell you the truth?” he asked. “I’ll leave you if you lie to me, Aaron,” I answered. Taking a deep breath and letting out a heavy sigh, Aaron began his story. “I’m only doin’ it to help my mom out. She’s been working two jobs just to keep this house and she needs my help. The only jobs I can get are some low paying, minimum wage gigs and they don’t pay shit,” Aaron explained. “Why didn’t you say anything before now and how long have you been doing it?” I asked as I finished walking up the stairs. Aaron rose from the step and went to his room. “Come with me.” I sat on his bed while he turned on the small lamp on his desk before opening the top dresser drawer. “I know you’re not getting those condoms just cuz I’m in your room!” I said quickly. Grinning, Aaron turned around with a stack of mail in his hands. “Not until you’re ready, Baby. Nah, I wanted to show you these.” He handed me a bunch of utility bills. Electric, gas, phone. All of them looked like they were past due and threatening disconnection of services. “What are these?” I asked as Aaron sat down next to me on the bed. “My mom’s bills,” he replied quietly. “She’s been working so much that she barely has time to come home and cook dinner for me. I’ve been eating at my grandmother’s house and living here by myself for the past year.” And here my mom thought Aaron’s mom was out bein’ a ho just cuz she wasn’t home that much. “Oh, Baby.” I softly rubbed Aaron’s cheek as a single tear fell down mine. “Momz been working day and night to keep a roof over my head and I jus’ wanted to help her out so when my big cousin said I could help him with a few runs and make some money at it, I figured I’d make some quick cash. Just enough so she could get caught up and maybe quit one of those fuckin’ jobs,” Aaron said. “She wearin’ herself out workin’ ‘round people that half ass do they job while she picks up the slack at both jobs!” he finished, tossing the mail to the floor. “This is a big house, Aaron,” I pointed out. “Maybe you two could move into an apartment or something smaller.” “That’s what I told her but she won’t leave cuz my Granddad left us this house,” Aaron explained. “Big Mama knows we’re struggling and said that we could stay with her ‘til we got back on our feet but Momz was like ‘I got my own house and don’t need yo’ damn charity’.” “But drugs, Aaron?” I asked. “It’s not your responsibility to take care of your mom. You’re only fifteen!” “Rachael, I’m all my mom has,” Aaron said. “She had me when she was fifteen. I never knew my dad and I found out when I was a kid that Big Mama was upset when she first heard that Momz was pregnant with me. Even though Big Mama forgave her after I was born, my mom never got over Big Mama’s first reaction about the pregnancy. And even though Big Mama has always tried to help us, my mom doesn’t get along with her so we’ve been on our own. “When Granddad died and left us this house, Momz took it even though she was still in college and only had a part time job. Once she graduated and got her business degree, she started working full time at the bank but kept the part time gig at the corner store working on the weekends jus’ so we could keep the utilities goin’. She’s so exhausted from dealin’ with everything by herself, she jus’ comes home and crashes on the couch ‘til it’s time to get up in a few hours for the next workday. I was spending more time at Big Mama’s than here just to get a decent meal.” Taking my hands into his, he said, “But once you finally saw that I was feelin’ you, I convinced Momz and Big Mama to let me stay home by myself. That way I could spend more time with you.” “I did notice that you used to be gone every weekend,” I noted. “I never saw your dad around so I figured you were seeing him on the weekends or something.” “Wasn’t even like that,” Aaron said as he rose to put the bills back in the dresser. He walked back to me with a fresh pack of condoms in his hand. “Aaron…” I warned. “No, Baby. I want you to bring this to me when you’re ready.” Aaron kissed me on the cheek. “I want to be your first and only. But only when you want it, OK?” Before I could answer, the phone rang in the hallway. “Excuse me, Baby,” said Aaron on his way out the door. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but the door was ajar and Aaron’s voice was raised. “What?! … When?! … What hospital?!” Hospital?! Oh, my God! Who’s hurt? “I’m on my way!” I stepped out into the hallway just as Aaron began dialing a number on the phone. “Aaron, what’s going on?” “There was a robbery at the store. They shot my mama!!!” Aaron shouted as he hung up the phone. “Oh, my God!” I screamed. “Which hospital is she at?!” “They’re taking her to Barnes right now,” Aaron said as he tried to call another number. “I gotta get a ride over there!” “Let me call my mom. She can take us, OK?” I suggested. “O… K…” Dropping his head, Aaron handed me the phone before he slumped to the floor. As I dialed my mom’s cell number, Aaron murmured, “Not my mama! Why they have to shoot my mama?!” Holding Aaron in my arms, he cried the entire time we waited for my mother to pick us up. 2 Secret Lovers… After his mother’s funeral, Aaron moved in with his grandmother. He promised me that on his 18th birthday, he would get us a place so we could be together. In the meantime, even though he finished paying all of his mother’s overdue bills, Aaron continued to sell drugs the entire time he lived with Big Mama. Since my mom couldn’t afford to get me nice things and Aaron wanted his lady in nothing but the best, my man’s criminal occupation afforded him the ability to spoil me with everything I ever wanted. Louis Vuitton. Prada. Gucci. Coach. La Perla. Anything I asked for, Aaron bought it for me. Unfortunately, bringing my gifts home was no easy task as I was constantly under the watchful eye of Bianca Wallace, which made things go from a bit difficult to damn near impossible. To explain where the gifts came from, Aaron suggested that I tell my mom that I “got a job” at an upscale retail store. When she first questioned my bags and bags of clothes, I simply told my mother that I was getting an employee discount, which she believed and that lie allowed me to bring Aaron’s gifts home with much less scrutiny. The summer before my senior year in high school, just as he promised, Aaron got an apartment. He loved when I came over to cook dinner for him and he kept the fridge and pantry stocked with everything we wanted to eat. The most difficult part of my visits was when I had to go back home because Aaron would always ask me to move in. One late summer evening, he started our evening with his request. “We’ll have to wait until I turn eighteen. Then she can’t say anything because I’ll be an adult,” I explained while rinsing chicken in Aaron’s kitchen. “You keep saying that but you’re going to be a senior this year, Rachael,” Aaron said as he entered the kitchen, pulling his trademark move of slipping his arms around my waist and kissing the nape of my neck. “How many of your girls have their own apartment? How many of them are livin’ with their man? None. Just think how jealous they’ll be when you move in!” “Baby, I don’t care about what my friends think and have. But I would love to make it to my next birthday which is only a few months away and I can’t do that if I move out of my mama’s house and in with you,” I pointed out as I began to season the chicken. “You waited for me this long. A couple more months won’t hurt you, will it?” “No, but I hate waiting until you sneak over to see me. Once you move in, it’ll be easier to surprise you with stuff like this.” Aaron reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box. By now, I was used to Aaron buying me clothes and jewelry but this time felt different. I stopped seasoning the chicken to wash my hands. As I dried my hands and turned to face my boyfriend, I said, “What is it?” “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you. Gon’ an’ open it,” he coaxed with a devilish grin. Aaron talked about marriage more and more each day but I never took him seriously. “That better not be what I think it is,” I said as I took the box. Inside was a key. I have to admit that I was a little bit disappointed. “Boy! I thought this was an…” “An engagement ring?” Aaron smiled. “Not until you graduate from school. But this,” he said as he took the key out of the box, “is your key to OUR apartment.” “Aaron…” I huffed in exasperation, expecting to explain again why I couldn’t move in with him yet. “That way you can come and go when you want to without waiting until I come home,” he hinted. “And I would love for you to be here waiting for me when I do.” You know how you see the angel and the devil on a cartoon character’s shoulders when they have to make a decision about something? This was one of those times for me. The angel said, “Rachael, he’s a drug dealer. If he wants to be with you, he has to give up that lifestyle!” Then the devil said, “Girl, you betta take that key and move your happy hips in here! Ever since you gave it up to him, he’s been breakin’ yo’ back on a regular and if you’re sleepin’ right next to him every night, you can have it that much more! MOVE IN GIRL!” “Rachael?” Aaron asked bringing me back to reality. “Do you wanna do it?” “Do what?” “Move in with me?” Aaron looked at me with expectant eyes. Considering the fact that my mom and I hadn’t been getting along too well ever since she discovered that I never stopped seeing Aaron, I was leaning toward taking him up on his offer. As I looked down at the key, Aaron knelt down on his knees in front of me. “Don’t make me beg, Rachael.” Aaron looked so serious, as if his next breath depended on my response! Damn him! “Yes.” “Yes?” Aaron stood up and looked up at me. “Yes, I’ll move in with you…” “YES! SHE SAID YES!!!” Aaron picked me up and spun me around the kitchen. “Hey, hey, hey!” I exclaimed. “I wasn’t done yet!” “Oh, sorry. Go ahead and finish,” Aaron smiled as he set me down on the floor. Putting my hands on his broad chest, I looked up at Aaron. “I’ll move in with you if you stop selling drugs.” His face dropped. After a moment of silence, he said, “What makes you think I still am?” “For starters, all the gifts you give me are pretty expensive and you can’t tell me you make that kind of money from cutting hair at the barber shop,” I said. “Rachael, you’d be amazed what I can get for my haircuts plus tips,” Aaron explained with a grin. “Besides that’s not the only thing I do to make money so you don’t have to worry about a thing, OK, Baby? I’m not gonna do anything to make me lose you, I promise.” “Aaron…” “Rachael, have I ever lied to you? I know I have some crazy hours but my work schedule shouldn’t stop you from moving in with me,” he said as he kissed each of my hands before putting the key in the left one. “When you move in, I’ll have more reason to stay home. I’m only working to keep from being home alone. Say you’ll move in.” “Aaron, my mama doesn’t want me to move out until I graduate from college,” I stated. “But I’ll compromise. We can wait until my birthday.” “Well, if you wanna wait until November to tell her, that’s fine with me but you can still be here more than you’re over there, right?” Knowing that he was winning his battle, Aaron pulled me close to him. “And the next time I give you a ring box, I promise it will be what you’re expecting.” After a lovely meal of fried chicken wings with angel hair pasta in Alfredo sauce, the devil on my shoulder jumped for joy as Aaron and I made love before he drove me back home that same night. Since my mom worked nights, Aaron figured that he and I could go into the house, pack a few of my things for Aaron to take back to his place then I’d go to bed as if nothing was going on. Mrs. Wallace had other plans for Aaron and me. Before I could get my key into the door good, Aaron swung me around and kissed me. “What was that for?” I asked, caught off guard. “Because I love you and I’m so happy we’re finally doing this!” Aaron whispered. “Even though it’s just a few things now, you’re finally movin’ in with me!” “Aaron,” I said as I stepped into the house. “It’s not like you’re taking my virginity. You did that on my 16th birthday, remember? And why are you whispering? My mama ain’t home yet.” Just then, I smelled the stench of fresh cigarette smoke in the air. Before I could react, I heard a voice in the darkness. “What in the hell is he doing here?” she said. “MAMA!” I spun around to see my mother’s silhouette sitting on the couch. “What are you doing here?” I asked in shock from her unexpected presence. “I live here, remember?” she said as she turned on a table lamp. “But what I wanna know is why in the hell yo’ fast ass is out so late and what the fuck is this muthafucka doing in my house?!” “Um, um…” I stammered before Aaron came to my rescue. “Mrs. Wallace, we came to get a few of Rachael’s things,” he said calmly. What the fuck did you say that for?! “To get her things?” Mama said before putting out her cigarette and stumbling over to us. “And where in the hell do you think you’re going, Rachael Lee Wallace?” “Mama, I was gonna tell you later,” I began. “Tell me what, Rachael?” Mama was right in my face and all I could smell was her vodka soaked tobacco breath. “That this punk ass nigga done got you pregnant? That he’s still selling drugs? What the fuck you gon’ tell me Rachael that’s gon’ make me let you leave my house?!” “I love your daughter, Mrs. Wallace,” Aaron said as he stepped between my mother and me. “You don’t love her! You love the pussy she’s givin’ up to you!” Mama spat back. “MAMA!” I shrieked. “Rachael, gon’ upstairs and get all of your stuff. I’ll stay here and talk with your mom,” Aaron coaxed in a firm yet calm voice. How he could be calm with my mother acting like that was beyond me! Minutes later, I came downstairs to find my mother in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee, smoking another cigarette, and sitting with Aaron. They were actually talking! I was almost afraid to ask what happened while I was upstairs but since there was no bloodshed, I felt safe enough to see what the conversation was about. “Mama?” I asked hesitantly as I looked at Aaron who only smiled back at me. “Hey Ray,” Mama grinned. “Come on and have a seat. I’ve been talking with your young man and it turns out that I’ve been wrong about him all this time.” Slowly sitting down across from Aaron, I asked my mother, “What do you mean?” “Ron explained to me about his mom and him doing odd jobs to help her out with the bills.” Patting Aaron’s hand, my mother continued. “It’s a shame about what happened to Nessa but I’m glad my Rachael was there for you.” “Me, too, Mrs. Wallace,” said Aaron as he looked at me. “Baby Girl, you all packed up?” “Yeah, but…” Looking at my mother, I said, “Is it OK, Mama?” “Rachael, you’re a very responsible young woman and you don’t need me hovering over you anymore. If you wanna move in with Ron, go right ahead. You didn’t have to try to sneak out but I understand.” You could have knocked me over with a feather! I couldn’t believe my mother gave me permission to leave… with Aaron! Before she changed her mind, I kissed her on the cheek and started to take my things out to Aaron’s car. “I’ll be out in a minute, Baby,” Aaron said as he stood in my mother’s doorway. As I packed my clothes into the backseat, Aaron and my mother exchanged a few words then he came to take us back to the apartment. * * Taking into consideration my mother and I weren’t that close before I moved in with Aaron, I didn’t find it too odd that I didn’t hear from her. She wanted all boys and, of course, I broke that streak. But for me not to even hear from her in the two months since I’d moved out of her house hit me kinda hard. “Aaron!” I called out when I walked into the apartment after one of my weekly shopping sprees. “Back here, Baby!” Aaron responded from the bedroom. He was lying on the bed, watching TV. “Come here,” he said when I appeared in the doorway. “I’m not in the mood,” I lied. With him wearing nothing but a smile, I had a good idea of what he wanted cuz I wanted it too! Knowing that I would have time to sort through them later, I placed my purchases inside our walk-in closet. Sitting on the bed beside Aaron and looking him directly in his hazel eyes, I asked, “Has my mom been calling over here?” Aaron’s face remained motionless. “Come closer,” he coaxed as he patted the empty space beside him. Without trying to, I glanced at his dick just when he made it jump. Easy girl. Business before Pleasure! “Aaron…” “Rachael,” he said sternly, no doubt in reaction to me ignoring his advances. “Your mom has called a few times but she’s usually drunk as hell and cussin me’ out for stealing her daughter away from her.” “And you’re just now telling me about this?!” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “That’s my Mama! If she’s been calling, drunk or sober, I want to talk to her!” Aaron rose off the bed and walked around the bed to me. The coolness of the room dissipated as he came closer. Suddenly my entire body felt feverish! As the throbbing between my thighs continued, I tried to ignore it. I loved how Aaron made me weak but right now, I was trying to have a serious discussion! CHILL hormones!!! We’ll get some later! Right now, I need to FOCUS!!! “I’m going to call and check on her,” I stated as I rose from the bed and headed out of the room before Aaron could touch me. As I walked toward the kitchen to get the cordless phone, I could hear him following me. Dialing my mom’s number, I looked at Aaron and said, “Yes?” “Who you calling?” he asked as he pulled me to his naked body. “I just told you that I was calling my mom,” I replied as Aaron turned me around so that my back faced him. His hands were relaxed around my waist but his erection told a different tale. “Call her later,” he said with The Bedroom Voice. “Nuh uh, Aaron,” I replied weakly as he began kissing my neck. By the time my mom answered the phone, I was almost ready to strip right there in the kitchen! “Mama!” I exclaimed, prompting Aaron to back away suddenly and reluctantly return to the bedroom. “How have you been?” “Fine,” she said coldly. Taken aback by her tone, I said, “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are you sure you’re OK? I’ve been calling and trying to stop by to see you but you’re never home.” “Why you worryin’ bout me now?” Her voice was slurred. Oh my God! It was late afternoon and Mama was already drunk! In the background, I could hear a gruff male voice calling her back to bed. “I see you have company so I’ll let you go,” I said. “But call me if…” “I ain’t gon’ be callin’ yo’ slutty gold diggin’ ass, Ray!” my mother shouted. “I hope that nigga knocks you up with fo’ kids, cheats on ya and leaves ya ass for another woman!” She slammed the phone in my ear, causing me to drop the phone on my end. What in the hell was that about? Who in the hell is over there with her? And why did she say such hateful things?! Hurt and confused, I stepped into the bathroom. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with tears. No doubt hearing my sobbing, Aaron slowly entered the room. Thankfully, he was wearing boxer shorts. “Baby?” Aaron took me in his arms and I let loose with the waterworks. “What did she say this time?” “Aaron, she was so… so…cold!” All I could do was cry. Holding me tight, Aaron gently assured me, “It’s OK, Rachael. I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” As my boyfriend gently rocked me in his arms, I couldn’t help wondering what went wrong with my mother and me. I knew she wasn’t happy about me being with Aaron but she gave me permission to leave! Why is she acting this way?! 3 Playing House… My first summer after graduating from high school was spent just enjoying the life of being Aaron’s girl. Since he made sure I always had money in my purse, I didn’t have a need for a job. But all my girls from high school were working and preparing to go off to college in the fall which got me to thinking that I had to figure out what I was gonna do for the rest of my life. I was enrolled at St. Louis Community College for the fall session but I knew that living off Aaron wasn’t gonna fly forever so I started job hunting. After putting in applications at every retail store in the Galleria, I came home praying that someone would call me in for an interview. But weeks went by and no one called. Once school started, I tried to hide my disappointment about not having a job by submersing myself in my schoolwork. Unfortunately, my studies interfered with my one on one time with Aaron. And he made me very aware of it. “Baby Girl! Where you at, Sexy?” After my last class for the semester, I retreated to the bedroom, exhausted from late nights of studying and trying to stay on top of my grades while playing wifey to Aaron. I pretended that I didn’t hear him and acted as if I were asleep when he entered the room. “Wake up, Baby Girl,” Aaron said as he walked over to the bed. When I didn’t “wake up”, Aaron, sat next to me and rubbed my back. “Rachael?” Unable to keep from opening my eyes, I rolled onto my back, “Just five minutes, Baby. I just need to rest for five minutes. I just took my last final and I want to get some kind of rest before I make dinner.” Gently patting my thigh, Aaron said, “My poor Baby Girl is worn out?” I sat up and looked at Aaron. “Well, let’s see. Between studying, looking for a job and catering to your every need in between catnaps, yeah, I’d say I’m a bit worn out.” “Then quit,” Aaron said plainly. “Quit? Quit what?” I asked as I reviewed the options. “School. If it’s too hard, there’s no sense in you stressing yourself over it,” Aaron suggested as he rubbed my left hand. “And I still don’t see why you’re trynna find a job. Don’t I take care of everything?” “Yes, Baby, you do but there are two able-bodied adults in this apartment,” I pointed out. “It’s not fair that you work so hard to make sure I have money in my pockets and that all the bills are paid when I can be helping out with the finances.” “You really wanna help me out?” I saw that look in his eyes and knew exactly how he wanted me to “help out”. “Oh, no you don’t. That’s another reason why I’m so tired!” I said as I scurried away from my sexy boyfriend. “With you trynna make love to me every night, it’s hard to get any rest!” “But you said that after we make love, you go right to sleep,” Aaron grinned as he playfully chased me out of the room. “Aaron! I’m serious!” I said as I laughed down the hallway toward the living room. “So am I, Rachael.” When I turned to look at Aaron, he was down on one knee. Not taking his impromptu gesture seriously, I rolled my eyes. “Boy, you need help! You already got me the way you want me but I can’t marry you without bringin’ something to the table. That’s why I want to get a job! You already have everything taken care of but with two incomes coming in, imagine all that we can do! Then if you still want to, we can get married, get a house and cars. Go traveling. See the world.” “We can do all that now,” Aaron replied as he stood up and quietly pulled me to him. “All I need you to do is enjoy what I give you and do for you. You are my Queen and you shouldn’t worry about working, OK? I got this.” Thinking things over briefly, I had to partially agree with Aaron. “OK, right now school isn’t necessarily important. It’s not bringing in any money right now and I hate feeling as if I’m living off you. I have to get a job.” “If you say so, Ray,” Aaron replied smugly. “What’s that look for?” I asked. “I don’t get you,” he said as he walked over to the couch and sat down. “Any of your friends would kill to be where you are. You don’t have to work, you don’t have to do a damn thing plus you get the nicest clothes and jewelry from your man who loves you to death. Why are you trynna mess all that up?” Surprised, I looked at Aaron. “Mess it up? What are you talking about? I just don’t want to be a gold digger!” “Did I ever say you were a gold digger, Rachael?” Aaron asked seriously, leaning back on the leather sofa. “Well, no, you didn’t but…” I drifted off, remembering the last conversation I had with my mother. Patting the seat next to him, Aaron summoned me. Once I was planted next to him, he said quietly, “To be honest, I don’t care what anyone else thinks of you, Rachael. But if it helps for you to hear it, I love you just the way you are. You don’t have to work or go to school to impress me.” “Boy!” I playfully punched Aaron in the arm. “I’m not doing it for you. My pride is at stake here.” “Pride goeth before the fall,” Aaron said simply. “Nice paraphrase,” I smiled. “Baby, everything I start, I finish. I can’t quit just cuz I have a lot on my plate!” Lifting my chin so that my eyes met his, Aaron kissed me. “Rachael, you can do anything you set your mind to, but why do it when you don’t have to? If we were rich, would you be working?” “Well, no but…” “Then live like you’re rich and just enjoy everything I’m giving you, OK? Can you do that for me?” Aaron pleaded. “Please?” He was lucky I was too exhausted to fight. This time. 4 Reality Check… Resigning myself to my carefree lifestyle, I quit school and went back to my full time role as wifey for Aaron. He’d get up and go to work. I’d clean the apartment before watching TV when I wasn’t out shopping for groceries, clothes or gifts for my Baby. Dinner was always ready when he came home unless he called ahead to let me know that he was taking me out. Things were going so well with Aaron and me that when the lease ended, we moved up from the cute one bedroom apartment we shared in North County to a larger two bedroom condo in Downtown St. Louis. “My Baby Girl needed more room for her clothes,” he joked to his boys as we finished moving into the new place. “If you want me to stop shopping, just let me know,” I smiled as I prepared dinner. Aaron and I invited his boys to stay for dinner as payment for helping us move in. Aaron and the Boyz were practically inseparable since grade school. If they weren’t all out clubbin’, they were over at one of their places watching movies or playing video games, or so Aaron would tell me as if I didn’t really know what he was doing with his boys! Since we didn’t entertain very much and my girls were usually too busy with their own lives, I was glad to be around other people. I loved Aaron but my solitary life was starting to get to me! Luckily for me, I have a man that loves to keep me happy, so he started spending more time at home. Friends included. Beginning the first week after moving day, I started hanging out with my boyfriend and the fellas: Kris, Darius Price, Devin Lawson and Jay Medina. They, in turn, introduced me to their girlfriends when we invited them over the following weekend. With the exception of Darius’ baby mama, TaMeeka James, the other “girlfriends” changed every time the guys came over! That didn’t matter, however, since I didn’t really bond with any of the random females as they were usually on a different level than I was. While I was wishing to be where they were with the education and employment backgrounds to put on their résumés, they wanted to be me! “Girl, I wish my man would take care of me like Baby Girl’s does!” I heard one temporary girlfriend say to another. “I know, right? She ain’t gotta do shit but fuck him and play house!” another replied before they both laughed. I guess they didn’t realize I’d heard them but I let it be known that I did! “Excuse me, but since you chose to disrespect me in my home, you need to leave. NOW!” My raised voice caught Aaron’s attention which prompted him to come up behind me. “What’s up, Baby Girl?” Aaron said looking directly at the shame faced women. “These two were saying that all I have to do is fuck you and play house and I get whatever I want,” I restated. Aaron looked at me then at the women. “You will not disrespect my wife! Get the fuck out! Kris! Jay! Handle ya ho’s!” Before they walked out of the apartment, the two women looked at each other then scoffed at their men who suddenly didn’t know them! As their women left, both Kris and Jay apologized to me on behalf of their now ex-girlfriends. “You don’t have to apologize, guys,” I said, somewhat embarrassed at the attention. “Aaron, I’m going to go lay down.” “I’ll be right in,” he said as he kissed my cheek. “I want to talk to you about something.” Thinking about his “wife” comment, I wanted to talk to him as well. “OK,” I said before sauntering into the bedroom, knowing that Aaron was watching as my hips swayed back and forth. Moments later, Aaron entered the bedroom and headed straight for the closet. Pulling a black box out and putting it in his pocket, he turned to me and said, “Baby, I gotta make a quick run then we’ll talk, OK?” Although I was confused at his sudden change in attitude, I didn’t question it. “OK. Want me to wait up for you?” “If you’re awake when I get back, we’ll talk but if you’re sleep, it can wait until morning,” Aaron said before kissing me twice softly on the lips. “But if you’re tired, don’t wait up.” Pouting, I said, “Do you have to go?” Smiling, Aaron said, “Trust me Baby, I would much rather be here with you but I gotta take care of this tonight, then you can have me for life, how about that?” Not sure exactly what he was hinting at, I said, “Now I want to wait up to see what you want to talk about!” “All good things come to those who wait,” Aaron said before one more kiss. “Will you quit with the quotes!” I laughed. “Go so you can come back. And be careful, Baby!” “You know I will be,” Aaron said on his way out of the bedroom. Once I heard the front door close and lock, I dressed for bed. I turned on the TV for company but barely a moment passed before I drifted off to sleep. Next thing I knew, the cordless phone was ringing. Immediately, I answered it. “Hello?” I said groggily. “Baby Girl…” “Kris?” I looked at the caller ID then over to the alarm clock. 4:29 a.m. I looked back at the empty side of the bed. “Kris, what’s going on?” After sighing heavily, he replied, “Ron’s in jail.” * * It seems that The Wallace women make promises that go against our better judgment so that those we love can be happy. The events that led up to my promise started when Aaron got locked up. At the time Aaron was arrested, rent was coming due and I didn’t have a job. If I had to point the blame at someone (other than me) for my current situation, without hesitation I would blame my pretty boyfriend. If I weren’t so damn infatuated with Aaron’s smooth talkin’ baby face not to mention the nightly sex sessions, maybe I never would’ve believed his lies in the first place. But they say everything happens for a reason… Up until the day he went to jail, my only job was to be Aaron’s girl and spend his money any way I saw fit. I had no idea of what I was going to do to pay the bills while he was in jail. His attorney said that he could get five to ten years for possession of marijuana, charged with intent to distribute. My mind raced as I tried to come up with solutions. I knew my mother wouldn’t help me. My father left us when I was a baby. My three older brothers were grown and out of the house. Baby Girl had to do this on her own. I didn’t grow up with my father or brothers around me but I always had Aaron. With the exception of his drug dealing, he’d never done anything illegal. Once he was sure that I wasn’t going anywhere, Aaron confessed that he never stopped dealing drugs but he planned to stop so that he could do right by me. He was always careful to never be around his product. He said he had men that did the actual dealing. Although he supplied his dealers with all they needed, Aaron didn’t keep any drugs in the apartment which is why I couldn’t believe it when he told me the cops found drugs in his vehicle. Aaron was convinced that his boy Darius had double crossed him and set him up. Even though they both went to jail, Aaron vowed to get even. “Baby, that’s not a good idea,” I warned him during our telephone conversation the day he got locked up. Aaron was allowed only one phone call and I was the lucky lady. “Baby Girl, nobody punks me!” Aaron snapped. “But is getting Darius back going to get you back to me?” I asked quietly, hoping my tone would calm him down. Breathing deeply, Aaron replied, “No, Baby, it won’t. I just wish I wasn’t in here!” Trying to keep him relaxed, I said, “I know, Baby. I wish you weren’t in there either. Do you know when I can see you?” “This Saturday is the next Visiting Day,” Aaron informed me, perking up. “I want to see my sexy Baby Girl first thing that morning, ya hear me?” “Is there anything I can do for you in the meantime?” I asked. “Just keep it tight for me, Mami!” I could just picture Aaron lickin’ his lips as I thought about him lickin’ mine. That following Saturday, as requested, I went to visit Aaron. I was dressed from head to toe in my turquoise blue and cream DKNY scoop neck dress and strappy Prada sandals with my Coach bag tying up the look. I had to look good when I saw my Baby! The entire time I was with Aaron, I never once rode public transportation and I wasn’t about to start now. Either Aaron drove me where I wanted to go or we took a cab. So for my visit to see him, why should I break “tradition”? When my cab arrived, I informed the driver of my destination and braced myself for what I was about to experience. For Aaron to be locked up was not only a shock to him but also to me! Before I walked into the Visitor’s Room, all the visiting family members were “put on hold” as the inmates that were being visited were called to the Room. There were several young women, not half as nicely dressed as me but still neat in appearance. A few older women were also there. Mothers and children. Girlfriends and wives. Once we were all in the Visitor’s Room, I was met by the sight of inmates with their loved ones all huddled together before they found tables to exchange supplies and family updates. Anxiously, I looked around for my loved one. Just as I caught a glimpse of my boyfriend, I watched while Aaron looked me up and down as if I were his last meal and he couldn’t wait to dig in! When we kissed, it felt like he was trying to eat me from the inside out! If this were a conjugal visit, he probably would’ve done just that! A guard standing by the door loudly cleared his throat to stop our public display of affection. Aaron reluctantly released me before shooting a “Fuck you, ya jealous nigga” look to the guard. “What up, Baby Girl? How ya holdin’ up out there without me?” Aaron asked as we sat at a table outside in the courtyard, the summer sun warming our backs. After surveying the table, I kept my Coach bag in my lap. I promise you that table looked like it hadn’t been wiped down since before I was born! As I took Aaron’s hands into mine, I said, “Baby, I don’t know what I’m gonna do! Rent’s comin’ up next week and I don’t have any money. Not to mention there’s hardly any food in the apartment and all the utility bills are starting to come in. You handled all the finances, Aaron. What should I do?” My one and only boyfriend sat back and thought for a moment. “I don’t know what to tell ya, Baby Girl. All my money’s goin’ to my lawyer to get me outta here. I can’t afford to spend a dime on anything else ‘til I’m outta this joint.” I looked at Aaron as if he had three heads! “So, what am I supposed to do until then? You don’t go to court until next week. The landlord’s looking for his money NOW!” Squeezing my hands, Aaron shushed me to try to keep my voice down. “E’rybody don’t need to know my bidness, girl! Calm yo’ ass down!” “I’ll calm down when you tell me that you’ll get me some money to pay our bills!” I could feel all eyes on us but I didn’t give a damn! Aaron was supposed to be my provider. My protector. My MAN! I’ll be damned if he thought he could play me like some tricked out ho! “Do what you gotta do, Baby Girl. I can’t do nuthin’ from behind bars.” Aaron reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. As he slowly pulled out a square and lit it, he grinned as he watched me for my reaction. “‘Do what you gotta do’, huh? So, what does that mean, Aaron?” I yelled. “You want me to sell your stuff? Ask Big Mama for the money? Turn tricks on the corner? What?!” “Baby, I can’t help you!” Aaron snapped back, barely flexing a muscle. Just as quickly as his anger flashed, he calmed down and slowly blew out a puff of cigarette smoke. “Besides, I’m tired of your broke ass spendin’ all my hard earned money! Do what the fuck you wanna do!” I don’t think he liked what I did next. Something in me raised my open hand and pulled it back as far as it could go. Before I knew it… “Bitch! What the fuck you slap me for?!” Aaron yelled as he violently rose from his chair. I was so pissed that I slammed my purse onto the crusty ass table as I stood up. Although he had never laid a hand on me in anger, I prepared myself in case Aaron wanted to attempt to give me a beat down. “I ain’t no bitch, ya punk ass muthafucka! I’ll be damned if you think you’re just gonna leave me hangin’ after all I’ve given up to be with you! Going to school. Hanging with my friends. My mama!” Aaron rubbed his cheek where my hand connected with his face. “Nobody told yo’ trick ass to give up nuthin’ for me!” “Who the fuck are you callin’ a trick?! I’m your woman and I did it because I love you and I wanted to keep you happy!” I exclaimed as tears streamed down my face. “Aaron, what am I supposed to do now?!” After a small chuckle escaped his lips, Aaron replied, “Your problem, not mine.” It took three guards to pull me off Aaron but not before I left several scratches on his pretty face. 5 Diva in Distress… I was so pissed, I couldn’t see straight! As I put on my Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses, I paced up and down the sidewalk in front of the Justice Center. “I can’t believe that muthafucka! ‘Your problem, not mine.’ Oh, it’s my problem, ah’ight!” I was surprised that being angry with Aaron brought out the hood in me. I looked inside my purse. All I saw was a couple of twenties, my cell phone, my apartment keys and… A devilish grin spread across my glossy lips as my eyes spotted Aaron’s Platinum Visa card sitting in the inside pocket of my Coach bag. “I guess you forgot I had this, ya stoop ass muthafucka.” I looked around for the nearest ATM. Just my luck, a bank was down the street. Before I took one step, a white 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder convertible pulled up beside me. “Excuse me, Miss? Would you like a ride?” With salt-and-pepper grey hair, the man behind the wheel looked old enough to be my father, but the ride was nice enough for me to ponder the offer. Smiling sweetly, I replied, “No, thank you, Sir. I’m just going across the street.” “You sure you wanna strut those long sexy legs on this street? Can’t be too careful around downtown,” he grinned back, flashing a gold tinted grill. At his age!!! “Thank you, Sir. I’ll be fine.” Right then, I wished I had Aaron’s nine millimeter or my .22 on me to help me get my point across better. “Can’t say I didn’t offer,” replied the gentleman before he sped through a red light. Cars with the right of way screeched from both sides of the intersection. A block and a half later, I was at the ATM where I inserted the Visa card, punched in Aaron’s PIN and withdrew $1,000. I figured that I had taken out enough funds to cover rent and half of the utilities. “After I pawn some of Aaron’s jewelry and a few of his guns, I should be alright for about a month,” I thought aloud as I stashed the cash into my purse. I decided to catch a cab back to the apartment. I’ll be damned if I’d be caught on the MetroBus in Prada and DKNY! Before I reached the curb, a Yellow Cab pulled up in front of me. Since this wasn’t New York, I wasn’t expecting such prompt service. But when you have long, shapely legs poking out of a miniskirt, you should expect such things. “Where can I take you, pretty lady?” I was nearly blinded by the cab driver’s two gold front teeth. Outside of that, he was somewhat attractive. I sat in the back of the cab. “Fox Run Apartments, please.” “Dayum! You rollin’ like dat?” asked the driver. “Them some nice apartments.” “Do I look like I have a problem with that?” I responded without looking in his direction, instead focusing on the passing traffic as I adjusted my sunglasses to block the stare I was getting. “Goldie” gave me the once over and decided that I definitely didn’t have any problems with anything. Not looking at people was a trick I learned after Aaron grilled me about making eye contact with a waiter. I was about to give our order but the guy was trying to ask me out, probably assuming I was single since I was sitting alone. Before I had a chance to turn the poor guy down, Aaron returned to the table and clocked the waiter! No questions or explanations! By the time the manager rescued our helpless server, Aaron had thrown a couple of $100’s on the table and rushed us out of the restaurant. Ever since, I found it safer for anyone involved if I didn’t attract attention to myself. “Ah’ight, Miss. Fox Run it is.” After checking to see if the road was clear, Goldie hit a U-turn and drove south on Tucker Boulevard before he turned right onto Clark Avenue heading for the US-40 entrance ramp. Considering the backseat was ten times cleaner than I expected, I relaxed and lay my head on the back of the seat. I was just letting the hum of the engine lull me into a catnap when Goldie decided to strike up a conversation. Looking at me through the rearview mirror, he said, “So what brings a cute thang like ya’self downtown?” Slowly, I sat my head upright. Glaring through my shades, I said, “First of all, I’m not a ‘thang’. Second, why I am downtown is none of your concern.” “Dayum! I was jus’ trynna make conversation!” Goldie turned his attention back to the road. He took the Grand Boulevard exit and turned north on Grand. “If that were true, you would at least introduce yourself,” I stated in a more cordial tone. His cheeks puffed up as he grinned. “I’m sorry. My name is Austin Ulysses Marshall. And you are…” “Baby Girl. You can turn left onto Lindell.” Austin’s cheeks dropped as he made the turn. “Baby Girl? Come on. I told you my name. Why can’t you tell me yours?” “Only my closest friends know my real name,” I explained plainly. “Turn right at Newstead.” Within seconds, Austin pulled into the entrance to my apartment complex. “So, what can I do so dat we can get to know each other better?” “I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate that too much.” I looked at the fare box. It was less than $10. I handed Austin a twenty. Austin shook his head in refusal. In his hand was a business card. “Here. Take my number. And the ride’s on me if you tell me your real name.” I took the money and the card and put them in my purse as I exited the cab. Walking up to the front passenger side door, I bent over to reveal just enough cleavage for Austin’s eyes to temporarily divert from mine. “The name is Baby Girl.” And with that, I walked toward my building. “Aww, come on!” Austin honked the car horn a couple of times, but I wouldn’t turn around. “Ah’ight, Sexy Lady. Next time I see you, you betta tell me yo real name!” I turned slightly to face Austin. “If there is a next time, I’ll consider telling you my real name.” I winked and flashed a quick grin before I turned back around and walked into my building. * * When I stepped off the elevator onto my apartment floor, Mr. Napoli, the landlord, was knocking on my door. Rent wasn’t due until next week so why was he bugging me about it now? As he lethargically walked in my direction, I put on my best fake smile and thought fast. No matter what I do, I ain’t givin’ up no ass for this apartment! “Good afternoon, Mr. Napoli. Were you looking for Aaron?” I said as I squeezed myself against the wall to avoid physically touching him. “Yeah, and you, pritty girl,” spat Mr. Napoli as he slowly scanned me from head to toe. Damn, man! Say it! Don’t spray it! And it’s PRETTY!! Not PRITTY! Rarely did Mr. Napoli and I speak to each other. But every time he saw me, I was dressed in nothing less than the best. He, however, always reeked of Crown Royal and three day old funk. “Where is Aaron?” he asked as he licked his cracked and crusty lips. “He’s out of town on business.” As much as I hated lying, I couldn’t risk losing the apartment. I didn’t do it for Aaron. I did it for me: I had nowhere else to go. “Will he be back before the first?” Mr. Napoli looked down at my legs as he continued licking his lips. Feeling very uneasy, I reached into my purse for my keys. As I took a step toward the door, I said, “I’m not sure when he’ll be back but I will have your rent money on the first.” “Aaron doesn’t pay me in cash,” he hinted with a suggestive grin. I assumed Mr. Napoli meant that he only accepted checks, which would be a problem for a sista without a bank account. I figured I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. “I’ll be sure to drop the check off…” “He doesn’t pay me with checks.” Mr. Napoli took a step in my direction. “I don’t take money orders neither.” Suddenly, I felt extremely uncomfortable. “Exactly how does Aaron pay you, Mr. Napoli?” “Call me Santos.” With the extra emphasis on his S’s, he sounded like the slimiest snake on earth… assuming that snakes could talk, that is. “OK, Santos… how does Aaron pay you?” I asked looking directly at my landlord while trying not to breathe in his pungent alcoholic fumes. “He pays me with favors.” Mr. Napoli reached for my face making me take a step backward, bumping me against my door. “What kind of favors?” I wasn’t sure I liked where this was going. “If I needed or wanted something, Aaron would get it for me,” he implied while leaning his portly body against the wall opposite my apartment door. His lascivious glare made my skin crawl! “What do you need from Aaron, Mr. Napoli?” “Santos,” he corrected, mimicking how I sounded when I first said his name. Attempting to hold back on the attitude, I repeated, “What do you need from Aaron?” Mr. Napoli licked his lips again. “I need some company tonight.” “Well,” I replied as I opened my door. “Like I said, Aaron is out of town. I don’t think he’ll be able to do any favors for you for a while.” “Maybe you can help me out, huh, pritty girl?” Pedophile! I’m only 20, probably less than half his age, and he thinks I’m gonna be his baby tonight?! First, the old guy in the Spyder. Now Mr. Napoli. What am I? An old man magnet?! Since I really couldn’t afford to piss off the landlord, I chose the mature route. As politely as I could, I said, “I don’t think so, Mr. Napoli. I have to go to work tonight. Sorry!” Quickly, I closed and locked the door behind me. “Men…” I physically shuddered at the thought of Mr. Napoli coming closer than two feet of my face not to mention the rest of my body. “Eww!!” I looked around at the apartment. I was good at playing the wifey role so the place was spotless. Unfortunately, the fridge and cabinets were on the verge of emptiness. I needed to find a steady financial support system like yesterday! I looked in my purse at the wad of money I pulled out of the ATM. I can’t go out and use this all up on food since I don’t know how long this cash will last. I need a plan. And FAST! Something that I said to Mr. Napoli stuck in my head. I need a job! Who knows how long Aaron would be locked up and after the scratches and slaps I left on him, there’s no guarantee he’d let me continue to live with him, let alone live at all. I needed to get a newspaper and check out the want ads. While I’m looking through the paper, I may as well look for my own place. I don’t want to be here when Aaron gets out. Lord knows what he’ll do to repay me for those “love” marks I left on him! Feeling icky from the repulsive conversations I’d had all day, not to mention the unpleasant St. Louis humidity, I showered and changed from my sundress to a denim Baby Phat miniskirt with a complimenting signature tee. Before stashing the majority of the cash in a safe place, I took out a few twenties and put them inside my pocket. As I headed for the door, I stopped in my tracks when I heard voices in the hallway. I looked out the peephole to see if Mr. Napoli was lurking around. With no sign of him and leaving the chain on the door, I peeked out into the hallway. The coast was clear. Quietly, I unchained the door and walked down the hallway to the elevator. Just as the doors opened, someone called for me from down the hall. “Baby Girl!” It was TaMeeka James, my neighbor two doors down. “Where you going all dressed up in this heat?” “I gotta go to the store. Did you need anything?” I prayed that she didn’t. I only said it to be nice. “Nah, girl. I’m cool. Whatchu need at the sto’?” I was not trying to let her know all of my business. All I knew about Meeka was that she was the baby mama of one of Aaron’s boys. I didn’t know her well but from what I’d observed of her, you can’t tell Meeka the Leeka nothing without everybody knowing about it within 24 hours! I kept it simple and hoped that she wouldn’t go further into the subject. “I’m just going for a paper.” “Girl, if you wanna look at the classifieds, I got the early edition of the Sunday paper. Tired of the State hounding me about gettin’ a job so I’m trynna find me a lil’ sumthin sumthin, ya feel me?” “Yeah, girl. I feel ya.” Hell, Meeka was saving me a few cents and another walk in this hot ass St. Louis heat wave. “Let me go down and check my mail and I’ll be back in a second. Need me to bring anything?” There I go, being Ms. Helpful again. Damn… Please say “No”. “Nah, girl. In fact, I’ll get the paper and come on over to your place when you ready,” she offered. A few minutes later, Meeka and I were soaking up the central air like there was no tomorrow. I looked through the paper while she watched her soap opera, “The Bold and the Beautiful.” She told me she’d taped the whole week’s episodes while she was out job hunting and asked if she could watch them at my place. It was cool because whenever I had the chance, I was all up in the Forrester vs. Logan saga! “Girl, I’ll be so glad when that skank ass Brooke stops sleeping with all the Forrester men. And what’s up with Stephanie? She ain’t Billy Bad Ass like she used to be.” As Meeka went on and on to herself about the show, I scanned the classifieds for a job for a sista with no job experience whatsoever. I never babysat because I was the baby. My mother paid for everything until Aaron took over. Then he paid for everything. I never had to work a day in my life. Now I wish I had! If I had better typing skills, I could be a secretary or a receptionist. I have excellent people skills. Maybe I could be a hostess at a restaurant. Can I get a job shopping?! Oh, God, please help me find a job so I can save money and find a place before Aaron comes home! After circling a few possibilities, I reached for the phone to set up a couple of interviews. Even though it was Saturday, I figured I could at least leave my name and number so that first thing Monday morning, I might get someone’s attention. Before I could turn the cordless phone on, it rang, scaring the shit out of me. I looked on the caller ID display: STL JUSTICE CTR Aaron. I wanted to play dumb and act like I wasn’t home but I figured that if I apologized for hitting him and if I promised to make it up to him that maybe he’d come up off some of that hidden cash and I could stay job-free a little longer. Not wanting Meeka to hear my end of the conversation, I stepped into my bedroom. After accepting the collect call charges, in my sweetest voice possible, I said “Hello?” “Whatchu gotta say?” Aaron still sounded pissed. Just hearing his voice sent chills through my body. Even when he was mad, Aaron sounded as sexy as DMX and Vin Diesel rolled up in one. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to slap you, but I didn’t know what else to do,” I pouted. “That was my first reaction because you’ve never spoken to me that way before. Plus you didn’t give me any option of what to do about our situation. Baby, I promise I’ll make it up to you on my next visit.” “That’s all you gotta say?” His voice was cold as ice. “Baby, I can only truly apologize in person,” I purred. “You ain’t even gotta do that, Baby Girl.” I was confused. “Then what do you want me to do?” “Have you talked to Mr. Napoli yet?” Aaron asked. I thought back to the conversation that I’d had with the landlord. I cringed at the thought of his suggestion that I “help him out”. “Yes, I saw him earlier.” “You gon’ do dat?” “Do what?!” I asked, caught off guard. “You gonna spend some time with him?” I looked at the phone. I know he didn’t just say what I think he said! “HELL NAW!!!” I snapped. “Just checkin’. I had to know if you had my back or not,” Aaron said, sucking his teeth. “I see you don’t.” “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Aaron?! You want me to fuck Mr. Napoli?!” “You wanna come up with the rent money?!” he said in a severely serious tone. Suddenly feeling brave, I asked, “How much is it?” “$725,” Aaron said with no hint of humor in his voice. My heart went into my throat. I never knew the rent was that much! I looked over at the nightstand at the pile of unopened utility and credit card bills that had come in. I didn’t even want to see how much those were! When I found my voice, I exclaimed, “You pay $725 a month for this place?!” “I don’t pay a dime. Mr. Napoli and I have an arrangement,” Aaron explained composedly. “But since I’m not there and you were bold enough to come back there after what you did to me, you can continue the arrangement.” “Aaron, what kind of favors did you do for Mr. Napoli?” I asked nervously. “I got him whatever he wanted or needed. He didn’t charge me rent. That extra money was going to you but you fucked yourself on that deal.” “Aaron, I didn’t know!” “Don’t matter now,” he replied coolly. “What does matter is whatchu gon’ do now. If you gon’ stay up in my spot while I’m locked up, you’re either gonna have to pay the rent or do them favors for Mr. Napoli. If you can’t do it, get yo’ shit and get out. Mr. Napoli will let me know what you decide.” Tears formed in my eyes. I couldn’t believe what Aaron was telling me. “Is that my only choice, Aaron?” There was a long pause before he responded calmly. “You fucked up, Baby Girl. I don’t want to ever hear from you again. And when I get out of here, you better be out of there cuz I don’t want to ever see you again.” I tried to apologize again, but it was too late. The line went dead. To say I was scared was an understatement. I had seen what Aaron did to people who dared to cross him. Few have walked away to tell about the experience. And I wasn’t trying to become a statistic. Before I stepped out of the bedroom, I checked myself out in the full-length door mirror. Other than my hands shaking, I looked fine. I didn’t want or need Meeka asking any questions. I was in no mood for an interrogation. With the phone still in my hand, I dialed the number of the one person I felt I could depend on in this situation. “Hello?” The gentle voice was like music to my ears. It was Aaron’s grandmother, whom we affectionately called… “Big Mama.” “Baby Girl?” Big Mama’s voice was laced with concern. “What’s the matter?” Big Mama was my “adopted” grandmother. Once Aaron and I hooked up, she took me into her heart and home. Since Aaron was an only child, and none of her other children had girls, I was the granddaughter that she would never have. In fact, Big Mama was the one that gave me my Baby Girl nickname. “Aaron got locked up and he told me to get out of the apartment,” I stated. “Just like that?” she asked. “That don’t sound like him. Baby Girl, that boy worships the ground you walk on!” Feeling guilty about not giving Big Mama the full details, I started at the beginning, leaving out the part about Aaron’s deal with Mr. Napoli. No sense in making Big Mama want to disown her grandson just because he had fucked me over. “Baby Girl, you know that boy will forgive you for leavin’ those ‘love taps’!” she laughed loudly. “In the meantime, do you need anything? Food? Money? A place to stay?” “I’m fine, Big Mama. Thanks but I’ll figure something out. I’ll let you know how I am when I settle into my new place. But don’t worry about me. I just wanted you to know about Aaron.” Big Mama let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll keep y’all in my prayers, Baby. Call me if you need anything.” “I will, Big Mama,” I promised. My mind raced as I hung up the phone. What the hell am I gonna do? Cautiously, I walked out of the bedroom. Meeka was still in the living room, watching TV. When I entered the room, she looked up at me. “Wuz up, Girl? Looks like you jus’ got some bad news.” “I’m alright. Just got something on my mind,” I said trying to focus more on my call with Big Mama and less on my conversation with Aaron. “Anything I can help with?” she asked. “Yeah,” I said as I plopped into my rocker recliner. “I need to erase the memory of today. Tell me you’ll go out to a club with me tonight. I need to shake my ass!” “I’m down for that!” Meeka started bouncing on the couch as if she were dancing to a song in her head. “Where you wanna go? Upscale? Hoochie City?” “Well, since you’ve got the ride, I’m going where you take me. I just need to know which one we’re going to so I’ll know how to dress.” At that point, I didn’t care where I went so long as I wasn’t in the house that night. “I think we need to bring out the freak in you, Miss Thang. We’re going to Hoochie City!” I cringed at the thought of scantily clad females all trying their best to get the attention of any playa playa that passed through their line of vision. “Or we could go to Upscale,” I suggested. Meeka hopped up from the couch. “Nuh uh, Baby Girl! Ron done had you on lockdown too damn long. It’s ‘bout time these St. Louis ninjaz know about you.” She took me by the hand and led me to the front door. “Meeka, where are we going?” I asked in modest protest. “I’m almost positive you don’t have anything hoochie enough for Hoochie City, so we gon’ go through my stuff and see what we can do for you,” Meeka replied with a devilish grin. “You’re taller than me but that’ll work cuz you’ll show more leg!” I stopped dead in my tracks. “Thanks, MeMe, but I already have something in mind for tonight. If it’s not ‘hoochie’ enough, that’ll be fine for me because I dress for no one but myself. If I come across someone who has a problem with what I have on, they are more than welcome to go out and buy what they would like to see me in.” Anybody except Mr. Napoli. I shuddered at the thought of that man closer than one foot from me! “I heard that!” Meeka looked at her watch. “Well, it’s kinda early, but not too late for me to drop lil’ Meechie off at his daddy’s mama’s house so I can get ready for tonight,” she said, referring to her four year old son, Demetrius. “What time were you thinking of leaving?” “I don’t need much time to get ready. A quick shower. Pull my braids up. Get dressed. A lil makeup. I could be ready in a matter of minutes. How about you?” “Once I get the sitter situation settled, I can give you a better estimate. Don’t worry, Girl. We are going out tonight. I promise you!” * * By eleven thirty, Meeka and I were in the middle of a line of club goers waiting to enter Hoochie City, where the freak-nastiest of freaks did their clubbin’. I’d heard stories of women goin’ in sanctified and comin’ out sinnin’. Well, that’s what I heard! I felt overdressed in my minidress compared to the booty shorts and bikini tops all around me. Even Meeka’s outfit was skimpier than mine but I’ll take class over crass any day. I guess my bourgeois demeanor was showing because left and right, females were shooting dirty looks at Meeka and me. “What’s with the attitude?” I asked as yet another female gave me a look of disdain. Meeka peeped the scene before answering. “They’re afraid we’ll take their men.” Meeka and I nodded and grinned at each other. At that moment, a fine dark chocolate brutha stepped out of the club. “Hoochie City will be open to the public shortly,” he announced. Dressed in dark blue slacks with complimenting button up shirt and tie, he looked like he could be the owner of the club. Or maybe a supermodel. “Look at Mr. GQ. Too bad you got Ron cuz you and that brutha would make a cute couple.” Why did she have to bring up THAT muthafucka? Yup, I was still mad at him for pimpin’ me to the landlord. All the pissedtivity that dissolved from earlier today came flooding back! DAMMIT! “Aaron ain’t here and I’m ‘bout ta get my freak on, ya hear me!” I said, giving Meeka a preview of the dancing I planned to do once we were inside. “I heard that!” Meeka looked toward the club entrance. Elbowing me in the side, she exclaimed, “Girl, Mr. GQ is headin’ this way!!” “Mr. GQ” was pointing out a select few females to enter the club. I noticed that he was picking out the prettiest women with the least amount of clothing. It looked like my night of clubbin’ was about to come to an abrupt end when he reached Meeka and me. I was positive that Meeka would have no problem getting in. She was wearing a white leopard-print halter top/skirt set with matching purse and platform shoes. Even her fingers and toenails were painted in leopard print. I, on the other hand, was wearing a red minidress with a sheer black rose lace covering and black peep toe pumps. Preparing myself for rejection, I said, “Well, Meeka, have a good time. I can already see I’m not hoochie enough for Hoochie City.” Just as the words fell out of my mouth, “Mr. GQ” stopped in front of us and looked directly at me. As I caught a glimpse of the full picture of his six foot two inch frame, I took a mental inventory. Nicely dressed. Looks like he works out. No ring on the finger. Oooo, look at those dimples! Low cut wavy hair. Chocolate brown eyes. Mm-mm-MMM!! He smoothed his thin moustache. “There’s nothing ‘hoochie’ about you, Miss. In fact, you are classy enough to be one of our VIP’s. Take this card to the box office and tell them I said to put you on the permanent VIP list.” His voice, like his skin, was as smooth and rich as Hershey’s chocolate. He reached for my hand and bent down to kiss it. “My name is Alonzo. And you are?” “You can call her Baby Girl,” Meeka jumped in. “I’m TaMeeka by the way. You can call me Meeka for short.” I started to shoot her a dirty look, but for once, Meeka’s big mouth may have helped me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted anyone in this club knowing who I was. I didn’t want word getting back to Aaron about me clubbing while he was locked up. Although Aaron and I were pretty much a done deal, I still cared about his feelings. I looked at the card Alonzo gave me. It read: Alonzo Banks Club Owner / Talent Agent / Entrepreneur BNG Diva Hoochie City Upscale Forté, Inc. “If you’ve got talent, you should work for me!” Cell: 314.555.2002 Pager: 800.555.2791 “Talent agent?” I surveyed Alonzo from head to toe. Naturally curly hair, cut low enough to have a little wave action. Dark brown bedroom eyes. I was positive there was a six-pack hiding under that suit. Basketball player’s build. Brutha had style, class and taste. A very good combination in my book. “I would’ve thought for sure that you were a model.” “Who says I’m not?” Alonzo smiled revealing a perfect set of white teeth. Not a single gold capped one in sight, a rare thing for a St. Louis brutha from what I’ve seen. “Are you from St. Louis?” I asked. “Originally I’m from San Antonio,” he replied. “I’m guessing you’re not from St. Louis.” Using his line back at him, I said, “Who says I’m not?” He flashed his pearly whites again. “There’s something about you, Miss…” “Like my friend said, call me Baby Girl,” I reminded him with a wink. “Baby Girl it is.” Alonzo stepped back to take in a full view of the two of us. My hair was styled in long thin honey blonde braids down my back to the top of my butt. With my slim, petite build and long, shapely legs, I was always mistaken for a model. If you ask me, I had it goin’ on! The grin on his handsome dark chocolate face told me that he agreed with my thoughts. “Would you ladies like to enter the club now or continue to wait in line?” Meeka and I gave Alonzo an “I know you didn’t just ask us that” look. Within seconds to the chorus of “Aww hell nah!” and “Who they think they are?”, Meeka and I walked toward the entrance of Hoochie City. “Hatin’ it for ya!” Meeka shouted back before she got a nudge from me as we ascended the stairs to the club. As instructed, we went to the box office. I showed the girl behind the glass the card Alonzo had given me. After I gave her Alonzo’s instructions along with my name and phone number, I was given a platinum silver card that read: In case ya didn’t know… Rachael Wallace is a VIP at all of the following establishments: BNG Diva Hoochie City Upscale The girl in the box office spoke over the gap in her teeth as she recited her well-rehearsed speech. “This card is good at Hoochie City, Upscale, Diva, and BNG for all events at each listed venue.” Meeka took the card from my hand and asked, “Does this mean we’re VIP for concerts and shows, too?” “Miss Thang” in the box office sucked her teeth, the sound made louder by the air flowing between her two front teeth. Pointing at me, she said, “She’s the one who had Mr. Banks’ card. If she brings you, you can be her guest.” Meeka got pissed at Miss Thang’s attitude and lunged at the ticket booth. “Look, bitch! I just asked a question! You didn’t have to get snotty!” Instinctively, I reached for Meeka. “Please excuse her,” I said to Miss Thang before escorting my girl toward the entrance. Just outside the door, I said, “Are you trying to get kicked out before you get in?!” “She didn’t have to talk down to me like that, Baby Girl!” Meeka seethed. “Meeka, I know she was wrong for how she answered you, but you didn’t have to go there with her. Ya feel me?” I pointed out. Meeka looked like a child who’d lost her favorite toy. “But still…” “I know,” I said as I patted Meeka’s shoulder. “But we’re not here to fight. We’re here to party, right?” “Yeah,” said Meeka reluctantly. “Gee, Meeka, I’m really feelin’ the enthusiasm…” I replied sarcastically. Meeka gave me a Cheshire cat sized grin. “Yeah, girl. Fuck her! She’s just mad cuz she’s stuck in that box while we go get our party on!” Meeka shouted toward the girl in the box office. “Exactly. So let’s go!” I smiled, leaving the ticket girl screaming obscenities at Meeka’s back. Since it was a few months before my twenty-first birthday, I was amazed I even got into the club! I was afraid that I’d have to use the fake I.D. that Aaron bought for me, but the bouncers didn’t even ask for our IDs. They just looked us up and down, grinned and nodded their heads toward the door. The club’s entrance doors thumped to the baseline of Mystical’s “Shake Ya Ass”. As we entered Hoochie City, Meeka and I were once again met by the eyes of many females, but this time, instead of dirty looks, we were greeted as though we’d been accepted into a secret society. We weren’t in the club a full minute before we were approached by men of various shapes and sizes. I found myself comparing every man to Alonzo. Not a single one of them made me forget about his fineness! Besides, with the dirty looks Meeka shot at everyone in our vicinity, I’m surprised anyone talked to us! The first brave brutha to step to us was old enough to be my father! What’s up with all these old dudes today? “Excuth me, prethy ladiesth. Would thoo mind if I boughth you thoo a thrink?” he asked. I physically checked my outfit to make sure he didn’t spit on me! Meeka, on the other hand, looked him up and down before responding. Never one to hold her tongue, she said, “You NEED to buy yourself some damn teeth!” “Meeka!” I exclaimed. “Girl, look at his mouth! He look like he forgot to put his dentures in with his old ass!” said Meeka damn near pointing her finger into the man’s toothless mouth. The dejected gentleman slinked away as he apologized for disturbing our evening. “You didn’t have to be so rude, Meeka. Besides, we just got here,” I pointed out. “Your Mr. Right may have watched that whole scene and decided that you weren’t his Ms. Right.” Meeka rolled her eyes. “Girl, please. My future husband is NOT gonna be up in Hoochie City. And if he was, I ain’t the one for him!” “You got a point there, girl,” I agreed. “I never saw any sense in looking for a long term relationship in a club.” “Shit, Girl. From the looks of the scrubs and deadbeat daddy wannabes, we’ll be lucky if we find just one to take home for the night!” Meeka said as she scanned the crowd. “Meeka!” I felt like a mother scolding her child. “Come on, Baby Girl. If you wasn’t with Ron, you’d be looking for Mr. Right Now, too,” Meeka said with a giggle. I let out a heavy sigh. The last person I wanted to think about was Aaron’s punk ass! Just then, the change in songs from “Shake Ya Ass” to Pretty Willie Suella’s “She Got A Man At Home” caught our attention. She got a man at home and playa always gone… Meeka damn near jumped out of her skirt. “Oooo, Girl! That’s my song! I’mma get out on the dance floor. You comin’?” “Nah, I’m gonna try to find us a table. I’ll be out there later.” As Meeka wove into the mob of sweaty dancers, I looked around for an empty spot for us to chill at. “Looking for me?” The voice sounded as deep as Barry White’s did. Unfortunately, I turned around to see that the body size matched. Brutha was so wide, I thought I was looking at Barry White’s twin! Although he was nicely dressed in a jet-black jacket and cream pants, I can’t hang with a brutha that’s three times my size. At five-foot-six, one hundred twenty-five pounds, my size six frame would be crushed under anyone over 200. This guy looked like he was pushing 300 plus! “No, sorry. I’m here with a friend and I was looking for a table for us,” I replied trying to avoid his lascivious gaze. As he surveyed the room, my unwanted guest replied, “It doesn’t look like you’ll find one but you’re more than welcome to join me at my private table in the VIP room.” I guess he didn’t believe me about being there with a friend. And for him to throw out that he’s in the VIP room? Really, playa? That’s what you’re going with? Calmly, I looked toward the dance floor. Meeka was nowhere in sight. Shit. Apparently, Barry White, Jr. assumed I was his property because he proceeded to grab my right arm. “Look, yo friend is doin’ her thang out on the floor. Why don’t we go back to my table and start doin’ our thang?” “Because the lady is with me.” The familiar rich chocolate voice washed over me like a cool breeze in this hot ass club. I turned around to see that my savior was none other than Mr. Alonzo Banks! He slid his left arm around my waist and smoothly pulled me closer to him. “Got a problem with that, Tiny?” “N-n-n-nah, Mr. Banks,” Tiny stammered. “My bad, Sir. I didn’t know she was with you.” Alonzo gently held my chin in his right hand. “Take a good look at this beautiful face, Tiny.” Tiny took a long look into my eyes after he scanned me from head to toe. “Don’t you ever let me see you bothering her or her associates. Understand me?” Alonzo warned. “Yes, Sir.” Tiny took my hands into his. “I apologize, Miss…” Alonzo squeezed me tighter to his side. “They call her Baby Girl.” “I apologize, Miss Baby Girl.” Before I had a chance to accept his apology, Tiny vanished into the crowd. I must say that I was impressed with Alonzo’s power. “I take it you know him.” “Your observation of the obvious astounds me,” Alonzo said sarcastically. Not seeing a smile on my face, he said, “Tiny is one of my boys.” “I see. So he’s not allowed to speak to me ever?” I asked with sincere curiosity. “Only if you give him permission to,” Alonzo replied. “And from what I saw, you weren’t interested.” “You’re right. I wasn’t.” I smiled as I looked up at the one that I was interested in. Alonzo raised an already arched eyebrow as he loosened his grip on my waist. “Did you get your cards?” “Cards?” I asked in reference to his use of the pluralized term. A couple of female patrons walked by us, looking Alonzo up and down. Why did I feel the need to look back at them and snarl? Luckily I managed to suppress the urge. It’s not as if Alonzo was my man… yet. “Yeah, for you and your friend,” he replied, smiling at my reaction to the women. “Oh! The VIP card?” I said, trying to ignore his reaction to my reaction. “The girl in the box office only gave me a card.” “Dammit! Tempest is getting on my damn nerves with that shit!” Alonzo briefly put a hand to his mouth. “I’m sorry, Miss. Excuse my language. She’s just mad cuz I demoted her from waitress to box office. ‘Ain’t no money in the box,’ she said. I told her, ‘Ain’t no money in the unemployment line, either’.” “Some people just can’t be thankful for what they already have.” Immediately I thought of Aaron and how he treated me today after all the years we’d been together. “True.” Alonzo scanned the dance floor. Once he found his target, he nodded. I looked across the room to see an attractive caramel skinned brutha nod back. “Would you like to join me at my table?” Just then, Meeka came up on us. “Yes, we would.” Breathless from non-stop dancing, she put her arm on my shoulder. “Eww, girl! You are soaked!” I said as I removed her sweaty arm. “Girl, you shoulda been out there! All the cuties are out on the floor.” She paused as a tall drink of water walked by us toward the dance floor. Meeka sucked her teeth and licked her lips. “I saw you with Barry White earlier. Then Mr. Banks here came to the rescue. Aren’t you glad we met him before we stepped in here?” Meeka nodded her head at me when she realized that Alonzo still had his arm around my waist. I looked up into Alonzo’s pretty brown eyes. “Yes, I am.” I could swear he blushed. “Ladies, please dispense with the formalities,” he requested. “You can call me Zo.” “Well, in that case… Zo?” asked Meeka. “Yes, Meeka?” he smiled. “What’s the chance of us getting a drink out of you?” she asked rudely. By that point, I was tired of screaming “Meeka!”, so I let it go. It’s just the way she is, ya know? “Tonight, the drinks are on me,” Alonzo offered. “Good, cuz I could really use a Bacardi and coke right about now,” Meeka admitted shamelessly. “Shall we adjourn to my table?” Alonzo offered. “Yes!” we replied in unison. Alonzo offered his arms to Meeka and me before skillfully guiding us through the club. He led us to a room separated from the rest of the club. Standing in the doorway was a muscular brutha, prepared to allow us entry by holding the entrance’s burgundy velvet rope. Tiny was already in the room along with several bruthas and females. No one batted an eye as we entered the room. A waitress wearing nothing but a hot pink thong came up to us. “What can I get for you, Mr. Banks?” she asked. “Get me my usual, Trina,” said Alonzo. “Ladies?” “Bacardi and coke,” said Meeka. “Nothing for me, thanks.” Alonzo and Meeka looked at me as if I’d grown a third leg. “I’m driving,” I explained. Alonzo whispered in my ear, “If that’s the only thing stopping you, Miss, I’ll make sure you get home safely.” His warm breath sent tingles down my spine. Thinking that, at the worst, I’d take a cab home, I said, “I’ll have a Skyy Blue, thanks.” Alonzo waved his hand at the waitress who then left to fill our drink orders. Gesturing toward a booth table at the back of the room, he said, “My table is this way.” Meeka and I peeped the package as he walked ahead of us. When we came closer to the table, I noticed that the light skinned brutha that Alonzo nodded to earlier was already sitting at the table. “Ladies, this is my older brother and partner, Chico Banks. Chico, this is…” “Meeka!” she said as she grinned from ear to ear. My girl had a weakness for redbones and immediately scooted close to Chico. “And Baby Girl,” Alonzo finished while briefly squeezing me close to him. “Baby Girl?” Chico asked with a chuckle. “Is that the name your mama gave you?” “Is Chico the name your mama gave you?” I queried as I sat down next to Meeka. Alonzo filled in the last bit of space by sitting next to me. “Didn’t I tell you she had some fire, man,” Alonzo commented. “Yo, man, ya girl’s a trip.” Chico reached across the table to give Alonzo daps over his “discovery”. “I’m nobody’s girl, thank you,” I snapped. “Hey, curb the attitude, chick,” said Chico defensively. “I didn’t mean it like you was his woman or something. Damn!” I sucked in my lips although I’m sure they didn’t have much room since my foot was already in my mouth. “I’m sorry, Chico. It’s been a shitty day and I didn’t mean to snap at you.” “It’s all good, Baby Girl,” Chico smiled letting me know there were no hard feelings. “So what was so shitty about your day, Sexy?” Meeka cleared her throat, diverting Chico’s attention away from me. “Damn, I’m thirsty. Where are those drinks, Zo?” Realizing that Meeka was obviously more into Chico than I was, I turned my attention back to Alonzo. Although it was evident that the guy Meeka was trying to talk to was interested in me, I was more interested in his brother. “Alonzo, you must be a busy man. Talent agent, club owner, knight in shining armor,” I commented. “I do what I can.” Alonzo took my hands in his. “I must thank your boyfriend for letting you come out tonight.” “I don’t have a boyfriend,” I replied matter-of-factly. Meeka whipped her head around at my statement. Sensing that I was trying to get my mack on, she didn’t correct me. Since I didn’t cock block her, why should she do it to me? Thankfully, Meeka turned her attention back to Chico. “You’re lying!” exclaimed Alonzo. “A fine sista like you without a man is a crime. I know you haven’t been single all your life so where’s the idiot that let you go?” I half smiled at Alonzo’s question before answering. “In jail.” “His fault?” Alonzo inquired with a raised eyebrow. “All his fault,” I replied. “Turns out I was just the girlfriend on stand-by, or so I found out.” “What do you mean?” asked Alonzo. Our drinks arrived just as I began to explain my situation with my ex. “If I was his woman, like he claimed, you would think he would’ve given me money to maintain our apartment. But he made it very clear that it was his place and he wants me out before he gets out of jail.” “That’s fucked up,” said Alonzo before he took a sip of his drink. “Ya know? Now I have to get a job and find a place to stay,” I complained. “I mean, I’ve got some time and money, but that’s only gonna last so long.” Alonzo tenderly squeezed my hands in his. “Miss, if you want me to, I can help you.” “I’m sorry but I didn’t tell you all this to get anything from you, Alonzo,” I admitted. “I know, but I don’t like to see anyone in need. And seeing that you are such an intelligent, independent woman, I won’t give you any money,” said Alonzo. “But I can offer a suggestion on how you can make some. It just depends on how you feel about what I suggest.” “I’m open for suggestions,” I said with curiosity. “Let’s discuss this in private. In the meantime, can I ask you to dance with me?” Alonzo slid out of the booth without waiting for my reply. He offered his hand to help me out of the booth. I couldn’t refuse those deep dimples and warm chocolate eyes. As we walked out of the VIP room toward the dance floor, the DJ announced that it was Ladies’ Choice. Several women approached Alonzo as if I wasn’t even there. After turning away four or five females, Alonzo led me onto the dance floor. After 7’s “Ready or Not” flowed out of the overhead speakers. We held each other tight as the melody enveloped us. As I rested my head on his chest, Alonzo sang along with the song. I’ll give you the sun, the rain, the moon, the stars and the mountains. I’ll give you the world… Alonzo lifted my chin so that I was looking up at him. His dimples got deeper as his smile grew larger. “Can I give you the world, Miss?” If I was a couple of shades lighter, he could’ve seen me blushing. “You can call me Rachael.” “Ah! She reveals her true name. And to what do I owe this honor?” Alonzo teased. “Your dimples melted me.” I confessed. “Not to mention your eyes and your voice. You have a beautiful singing voice.” Alonzo smiled. “Aww, stop. You’ll make me blush.” “You do,” I declared. “Thank you. So, when and where do you want to continue our discussion?” he asked. “Obviously not here. I can barely hear myself think.” I held Alonzo away from me at arm’s length. “Besides, I want to see you in a brighter light.” Alonzo looked me up and down. “I feel ya. Are you hungry?” “A little.” “It’s late and I’m not feelin’ White Castle. Let’s go to Steak ‘n Shake. My treat… this time,” smirked Alonzo. I smiled at the hint of a possible future date with Mr. Banks. “Sounds good. Can Meeka and Chico join us?” “Well, I guess so,” Alonzo grinned. “But I don’t usually do foursomes…” “Alonzo!” I said as I playfully hit him in his broad chest. “What?!” Alonzo pretended to act shocked. “Oh! You thought I meant… Why, Rachael. I’m surprised at you. I thought you were a classy young lady.” “I-I-I…” I could feel the heat in my cheeks burning from my embarrassment. Alonzo pulled me into his arms. “I was just kidding, silly girl. Yeah, they can join us cuz knowing where your mind is, I don’t think I can trust myself alone with you.” I gave Alonzo a light pinch on his arm. “Now who’s being silly?” “Guilty as charged.” We took our time getting back to our friends. As we approached the table, we were greeted by Meeka and Chico in a lip lock. Alonzo cleared his throat but Meeka waved us away. “Meeka, we’re going to go get something to eat,” said Alonzo. “That’s… nice…” she managed to get out in between kisses. “You going or are you gonna be alright?” I asked. “I’ll be fine… Go have fun… Call me later…” she urged. Since Meeka drove, I didn’t feel too bad about leaving her. Before Alonzo and I went to dance, she’d barely touched her Bacardi and coke. From the looks of her glass now, Chico quenched her thirst better than the mixed drink ever could! “I guess I’ll just have to trust that you will keep your hands to yourself, young lady,” said Alonzo as we headed for the club’s entrance. “Mr. Banks, I do believe you’re trying to use reverse psychology on me. I think it’s I who should be watching out for you, Sir.” “Baby, please quit it with the ‘Mr. Banks’ and ‘Sir’ stuff. It makes me feel so old.” Alonzo nodded at a valet driver who immediately left to retrieve his car. I just realized that not once did I wonder how old Alonzo was! I guess that’s a sign of maturity when you don’t ask a person’s age. I’d presume that Alonzo was in his mid to late twenties. The valet driver pulled up in a Platinum Silver 2003 Cadillac Escalade. As the attendant handed him his car keys, Alonzo said, “I’ll be twenty-one next month.” Boy was I shocked! Not only at his age but the fact that he practically read my mind! He proceeded to give the driver a $20 tip. “Thank you, Mr. Banks!” The driver gleefully ran back to the other drivers to show them his big bonus. “You’re only twenty!” I nearly shouted. Grinning, Alonzo said, “You seem surprised, Rachael.” “Yeah, because…” I hesitated to tell him my own age, but since he owned the club, what difference did it make. Besides, I was already a VIP! “Because you’re only twenty yourself, right?” Alonzo finished for me. Stunned, I asked, “How did you know?” “One of my bouncers peeped you and Meeka while you were in line,” Alonzo explained. “He told me he’d seen you around town with your boyfriend…” “EX-boyfriend,” I corrected. “Sorry, with your ex-boyfriend.” Alonzo grinned at my correcting him. “He said that he and Aaron go way back and that he wasn’t surprised you didn’t recognize him since your boy pretty much kept you on lockdown.” “He didn’t have me on lockdown,” I retorted. “Aaron just didn’t want me to know too much about what he was doing. He said that after we got married, he’d tell me everything.” “Married? How long were you two together, if you don’t mind my asking,” Alonzo asked as we walked over to his vehicle. “Too long.” I looked directly at Alonzo. “After a while, I stopped being curious about his ‘work’ and dropped the idea of us ever getting married.” “Smart girl,” Alonzo said as he opened the passenger side door for me. “You know why he said that, don’t you?” I stepped inside the Escalade. “Said what?” “What he said about marriage.” Alonzo said as he held my door. “I’ve heard that a woman can’t testify against her husband. If he was really deep into whateva he was doin, he would’ve married you Vegas style just in case before he got busted. But in this case, he was just plain stupid.” “You mean for having drugs in the car?” I inquired. “No, for trying to play you.” Alonzo closed my door and walked around to the driver’s side. After he got in, clicked his seatbelt and rolled the windows down, he looked at me. “Rachael, if you were my lady, no harm would ever come to you.” “Funny,” I said as I looked out of the window. “Aaron told me the exact same thing.” Alonzo took my chin in his hand and turned my head to face him. “I’m nothing like Aaron.” I expected him to kiss me at that point, but instead he turned his attention to the radio. “What would you like to listen to? Hip-hop? R&B? Jazz?” “Jazz is perfect,” I said smiling in relief to know that I wouldn’t be bombarded with hip-hop all night the way Aaron did me whenever we went out together. With the way the evening was going, I could go for a nice jazzy feel right about then. Alonzo punched a button on the CD player, flipping the display through several music types: ROCK, R & B, BLUES, HIP-HOP. He stopped when he reached JAZZ. A smooth jazz instrumental came out of the speakers, but it was no one that I’d ever heard of. “This is nice. Who is it?” Alonzo merged into the westbound interstate traffic. “It’s a jazz group I’m scouting. They’re all still in high school.” “Sounding like that? Sounds like they’ve been playing for years!” I complimented. “They have, since grade school,” Alonzo beamed. You would’ve thought he’d taught each of them how to play music himself! “They’re triplets. It’s two brothers and one sister. She plays the saxophone.” “They’re talented. How close are they to making a record deal?” I asked. “Very close,” said Alonzo as he turned off the interstate onto Hampton Avenue. We headed south, through two lights, then turned right into the Steak ‘n Shake lot. As Alonzo parked the Escalade, he said, “What they really need is some promotion. That’s not exactly my expertise and I’m looking for a partner in that area. Know anybody?” I wish I could do it. “Not really. I mean, I could probably do it,” I offered. “But I don’t have any work experience at it. I’ve never had a real job before.” Alonzo rolled up the windows, turned off the ignition and stepped out of the vehicle before he walked around to my side. I was just about to open the door when he closed it while waving a finger at me. As he opened my door, he said, “Ladies should never open their own door. Allow me.” I must say I was impressed. For Alonzo to be so mature at such a young age, it was refreshing. Aaron wouldn’t have had any problem with me getting the door for myself. Alonzo escorted me into the restaurant. Just inside the door was a sign that read “Please seat yourself”, so we sat ourselves in the no smoking section. The place was almost bare except for an older white couple sitting at the counter and what looked like a homeless person sleeping at a table toward the back. Alonzo found us a booth in the middle of the restaurant. “So what exactly do you have experience in?” inquired Alonzo as he surveyed the menu. I already knew what I wanted: a double steakburger, no onions, mayo on the side with a side of onion rings and a strawberry shake. I wasn’t planning to kiss Alonzo tonight but if the opportunity came up, I had some Binaca in my purse for backup. “Being cute,” I smiled with a wink. Alonzo looked up from his menu with a wide grin. “I see you have no problem with that. But can you make a career out of it?” “I guess I could if I were a model,” I replied as I pretended to look at the menu. “But that’s not what I want to do. I really like helping other people.” “Ever thought of being a nurse?” Alonzo laid his menu on the table. “Actually I did but I let Aaron talk me out of it. Instead I went to school to get an English degree,” I said as I thought back to the conversation in question. “I think he didn’t want me to be in school at all because then I’d be smarter than he was. Either that or I’d meet a nice college boy that could do just as well for me but with a legit, crime-free job.” “He actually said that?” Alonzo asked. “No, but I always felt that that was the reason why he didn’t push for me to stay in school,” I explained. “So what’s stopping you now?” Alonzo inquired as he held my hands. I looked at Alonzo and smiled. For the first time ever, someone was encouraging me to do something positive with my life. “I’m damn near homeless not to mention I just became single today, Alonzo. I really hadn’t thought too much about my future.” I wonder exactly how much I could make working for you… Hell, we don’t even have to work! “Rachael?” “Huh? Oh, I’m sorry, Alonzo. I was just wondering what it would be like to be a talent agent,” I said, trying to change the subject. “You said you needed a partner, right?” “I already have my brother but, to be honest, we need someone with promotions experience,” Alonzo explained. “I understand.” I was actually a little disappointed that I couldn’t work with Alonzo. But this was just my first day of “job hunting”. I shouldn’t have expected to land a dream job in less than 24 hours. Then again, I could end up with a dreamy hunk of man… Finally, our waitress arrived. Since she was the only one working, and there were a handful of customers, I couldn’t understand why she didn’t come over sooner. She looked like she had been on her feet all day long. “My name is Amy. I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get for you?” She sounded like she’d used the last of the breath in her lungs just to get that out! As Alonzo gave his order, I thought about my situation. I don’t know why it was still on my mind. Aaron was the only man I’d ever been with. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to be with other men, but I was so infatuated with Aaron that I never looked at anyone else. However, the fact that Aaron could toss me aside so quickly has helped me get over my feelings for him! After all we’ve been through, for my so-called-man to just toss me out like I was the fuckin’ neighborhood jumpoff! Hell, I don’t need Aaron! It’s about time I took care of myself and I may as well start now! And if Mr. Banks here is in that picture, we’re definitely off to a great beginning! Alonzo squeezed my hands, bringing me out of my reverie. “Rachael? Ready to order?” After I filled Amy in on what I wanted to eat, she nodded her head and said that our order should be ready in a few minutes. I looked at Alonzo and found that he was staring at me. “What?” “Nothing. Just imagining something,” he grinned, revealing yet again his deep set dimples. Tilting my head to the side, I said, “And what was that?” “You in a nurse’s uniform,” smiled Alonzo. I wasn’t sure if he was picturing me as a nurse in a hospital or as his girlfriend dressed up like a nurse. Pump ya brakes girl. Ya just met the man! Don’t scare him away with relationship and commitment talk on the first date! “Oh, really?” I replied, smiling flirtatiously. “Yeah. I think you’d make a great nurse. Probably in pediatrics or maternity,” he said before softly kissing my hands. Not used to so much attention from anyone but Aaron, I was a bit hazy. Then reality hit me. “Alonzo, can I ask you a question?” “Sure, Rachael.” “Are you single? I mean, do you have a girlfriend or a chick on the side?” I asked, trying to mask the fear of hearing him say that there actually was someone in his life. “Chico and I own four clubs. I’m in all of them during the week and in at least two of them regularly hosting events every weekend. The rest of my time is spent finding and developing talent for my company, Forté, Inc. No sense in looking for a long-term relationship in a club not to mention that most of the women I’ve run into want a man that’s either up under them all the damn time or just stops by to drop off enough money to pay their bills. Long story short: I don’t have time to be with anyone like that.” Frowning, thinking I’d been turned down in advance, I quietly said, “Sorry to hear that.” “Don’t get me wrong, Rachael. It’s not that I don’t want to be with someone. I just haven’t found the right one. And since I keep busy with all my projects, I’m cool with that,” Alonzo explained. “You say you haven’t found the right one, huh?” I grinned. “Well, I’m not looking for her,” said Alonzo as he gently squeezed my hands. “But if she happens to walk into my club wearing a seductive minidress with long sexy legs and a killer smile, I won’t pass up the opportunity to get to know her.” I believe I blushed. I tried to hide the grin on my face by putting my hands up to my mouth. Immediately, Alonzo pulled them down. “Don’t do that.” “Do what?” I asked in confusion. “Don’t hide your beautiful smile,” said Alonzo. “It’s one of the first things I noticed about you.” “Is that so?” I teased. “Yeah. I was standing at the door when I looked out into the line and saw you and ya girl,” Alonzo explained. “I had to think of an excuse to come and talk to you so I started handpicking ladies to go into the club. When I got to you and saw those long pretty legs, I almost lost my nerve. I was afraid you’d turn around and have a fat rock on your left hand. That’s why I took your hand and kissed it. I was so busy looking into your sexy eyes that I couldn’t focus on anything else. So, I let my hand find out the ring situation.” “And when you found out that I wasn’t legally attached, you assumed that I wasn’t attached at all?” I asked. “Not at all,” Alonzo admitted. “I figured you had a man, which is why I thanked your man for letting you out. But then again, if you did have a man, he wouldn’t let you out. You would tell him that you were going out and you’ll be back when you get back!” I had to laugh. I don’t think I would ever be that bold but then again, I love doing what I want when I want. Alonzo and I spent the rest of the evening getting to know each other. We talked about our families and friends. I let him know that I have a half-brother and a cousin in San Antonio. “We’ll have to stop by and see them when we go to my family reunion,” he suggested. “We?” I wasn’t upset by the statement. I was just making sure he realized what he had said. “Yeah, ‘we’. Is that a problem?” Alonzo asked with concern. Not seeing any problems, I continued my interrogation. “That depends. When is your next family reunion?” “We usually have it during the Christmas/Kwanzaa holiday season,” he replied sounding enthusiastic. “Christmas is a few months away. You’ll probably find your Ms. Right by then,” I pointed out. Alonzo softly kissed each of my hands. “I believe I may have already found her.” This time I didn’t hide my smile. 6 The Return of the Ex… The next day, fresh off my fantastic impromptu date with Alonzo, the harsh light of reality set in. While I was thinking of calling Alonzo, I knocked over the pile of bills Aaron left for me to pay. Dammit! Reluctantly, I picked up the irritating reminders of my dire situation and put them back on the nightstand in the bedroom before heading out to the living room to pick up the paper that Meeka left at my place. Once I had myself situated on the couch with a fresh cup of cinnamon apple herbal tea, I opened the St. Louis Post-Dispatch to the Classifieds. Just as I’d finished highlighting some prospects on the last page, the phone rang. Thankful that not only was I done “hunting” but also happy to get the break, I pounced on the phone and answered without looking at the caller ID. “Hello!” I answered cheerfully hoping it was my knight in shining armor. “You’re still there?!” An icy chill gripped my body. “Aaron!” I was so stunned that I couldn’t think of anything else to say! “I guess you’re doin’ them favors for old man Napoli since you’re still answering my phone!” Aaron said. “No! No, I-I-I…” “What part of our previous conversation said that you could stay in my apartment?” he asked. “Aaron, come on! You expect me to just pack up and leave with no place to go?” I pointed out. “My mom cut me out of her life after I moved in with you and you know damn well that you were my only source of income. It’s not like I’m going to be able to just move in with anybody right now without any money.” Aaron sighed heavily on the other end. “Why are you doing this to me, Rachael?” Shocked, I looked at the phone before responding. “Doing this to you?! What exactly am I doing to you, Aaron? Or better yet, what more do you want me to do??? I was willing to wait until you came back home to me once this nightmare was over but you obviously don’t want me. All I’ve ever done is love you and stand by you. I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked me to do!” “Really?” he asked. “So when did I tell you to cheat on me?” “What?! I’ve never cheated on you!” I exclaimed at his accusatory tone. “So who was the nigga you were with last night?” Aaron asked calmly. For a brief moment, I forgot about Alonzo. Then I remembered why I was where I was when I met him! “Don’t even try that shit, Aaron! You all but pimped me to the landlord yesterday and now you’re asking me about seeing someone else?” I said in my defense. “So you were with someone else?” Aaron sounded hurt. Catching the change in tone, I felt the need to comfort him. “Meeka and I went out last night and I met someone at the club.” “Oh, it’s like that?” Aaron said as his anger rose again. “Ya man’s locked up and you’re out shakin’ your ass to see who’s next to tap it?” “You know what, Aaron? I don’t have to listen to this!” As I slammed down the phone, I realized that Aaron called me directly. I didn’t accept any collect call charges! Was he out of jail so soon?! Oh my God! I looked on the caller ID. Private caller. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity Fuck! The phone ringing again made me let out a small yelp. This time I checked the caller ID display. Thank goodness! It was Alonzo! “Hello!” I said, trying to hide my shaky nerves. “Hey sexy lady, you OK?” Alonzo asked. “I’m good. Just watched a scene from Scream and it caught me off guard when the phone rang on the movie and here in the apartment.” I hated lying but I didn’t want Alonzo worrying about me when we just met less than 24 hours ago! He just rescued me from Tiny last night. Don’t want to give him the impression that I’m always a damsel in distress. “Well, how ‘bout I come and get you to take those scary images off your mind,” he offered. The only scary image I had was of Aaron coming back. Carefully, I peeked out the apartment window, looking for any of Aaron’s boys’ cars. Since his ride was in the police impound, I knew he wouldn’t just roll up on me alone. But then again, if he was out of jail, I’m sure he quickly got his car back. Hell, he could be here in a matter of minutes! “How soon can you be here?” Calm down, Rachael. He’s still in jail. “How about now?” Alonzo replied. No sooner than I’d looked back at the parking lot did I see Alonzo’s Escalade pull into a parking spot. Smiling with relief, I said, “Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be down.” Moments later, I emerged from the apartment building in an Idol Blue cut out front Apple Bottoms tee over a pair of Apple Bottoms Bermuda shorts. Trying to stay casual, I slipped on a pair of Prada wedges. I know that designer gear may be a bit much for a first official date but once I start working, I won’t be making enough to buy one Prada pump if I want to pay all my bills. Besides, I figured I may as well enjoy the luxuries that Aaron showered me with before he kicked me out of his apartment. And his life. When I stepped outside, Alonzo was already waiting by the passenger side door, ready to open it for me. Politely, I kissed him on his cheek before saying, “I could get used to this.” “I hope so,” Alonzo winked before closing the door behind me. * * Kickin’ it with Alonzo made me forget about the pain and hurt that Aaron had brought me. At his 21st birthday party, Alonzo introduced me to some of his business associates, one of whom, Cedric Tate, hired me as his personal assistant. I started as a gopher, but quickly moved up the ranks to public relations. In a way, Alonzo and I had the same type of job. The difference was that I did promotions for already established talent while he found the diamonds in the rough and polished them up for the world to ooo and ahh over. From the PR promotion, I earned enough money to move out of Aaron’s apartment months before his scheduled release date. Alonzo helped me find a nice one-bedroom apartment in the Central West End. The neighborhood was mostly filled with single people and couples. I don’t think I saw one kid on the street the whole time I lived there. My place was centrally located to everything I could ever want: grocery store, Laundromat, video store, various specialty and fast food stores. The mall was one bus away but I had plans to get myself a car. Alonzo offered to help with everything, but I told him I wanted to do it on my own. I deliberately didn’t tell Meeka where I was because I didn’t want her telling the world but eventually she found out when she, Chico and Alonzo came to pick me up for my birthday dinner. “Girl, this place is da SHIT!” Meeka exclaimed when she finally saw my apartment. “Why didn’t you tell me where you was livin’?” “Cuz ya talks too much!” said Chico just before Meeka took a playful swing at him. “This place is so cute with all the little pictures of you and Zo…” Meeka paused for a moment. “Hold on. Zo, how come you don’t have any pictures of Baby Girl up at your place?” Alonzo didn’t look Meeka or me in the eye. Instead, he stared outside at the stars in the night sky. “See what I mean?” Chico said as he lifted Meeka’s five-foot-four frame off the floor. “Ya talks too much.” Once Chico safely returned her back to the floor, Meeka apologized. “Oh! Girl, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it!” I put my arm around Meeka’s shoulder. “I know you didn’t, Girl. But Chico is right about one thing.” “What’s that?” Meeka asked. “Ya talks too much!” Alonzo, Chico and I said in unison. “Oh, it’s like that, huh? Ah’ight then,” said Meeka, laughing at our teasing her. “Why don’t we go and celebrate my girl’s birthday? Maybe I can find something to put in my mouth so the wrong things will stop coming out.” Before Chico had a chance to respond, Meeka continued. “Food, Chico. I’m putting food in my mouth tonight.” “Thanks for the visual, MeMe,” said Alonzo. “Whateva, Zo. You act like we ain’t all adults up in here. I know you and Baby Girl be getting down like that so don’t even try to front.” To tell the truth, up to that point, Alonzo and I had never crossed the sexual threshold in our relationship. We weren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend so we each came and went as we pleased. I can only speak for myself when I say that I was faithful to him. I’d like to believe that Alonzo was, too, but… ya know. I mean, with him owning four nightclubs plus being a talent agent, he had access to many beautiful women so you just couldn’t be sure. I already played myself once with Aaron thinking that he loved me. Wasn’t exactly trying to repeat myself with Alonzo. “Meeka, I think you’ve said too much,” I whispered to my friend. Meeka slapped her hand to her forehead. “Let me get out of here before I say anything else wrong.” “Fine with me,” said Chico as he followed Meeka out of the apartment. Noticing that neither Alonzo nor I had made a move toward the door, Chico asked, “Are you two coming?” “In a minute, man,” said Alonzo. “I just need a minute with my lady.” “Ah’ight, man. We’ll be downstairs,” Chico said before following Meeka out the door. Alonzo waited until Chico and Meeka were on the elevator before he closed my door. “What’s this about, Alonzo?” I asked with concern. “I wanted to ask you to do a little something special for me but I didn’t want them to hear us,” Alonzo said as he walked over to me. “What’s that?” I asked as I melted into his chocolate eyes. Alonzo made his trademark move: he took my hands in his. He usually did this when he had something important to discuss. “Well, it’s been almost four months since we’ve met and we’ve been kickin’ it pretty tight.” “True,” I agreed. “And I checked with my boy Cedric and he says that you’re doing an excellent job in PR for him,” Alonzo continued. “I haven’t heard any complaints,” I smiled. “Well, what I was thinking is that… well…” Alonzo looked down at our hands. “Spit it out, Alonzo.” “Rachael, would you like to be my partner?” I just stood there with my mouth open. I was about to say “yes” but I wasn’t sure what I was saying yes to. Did he want me to be his business partner or his partner as in his girlfriend? “Partner?” “Yeah, in the talent game,” Alonzo smiled. “I find the talent. You promote them. Together, we could rule the world.” With a crooked smile, I said hesitantly. “Y-yeah, I’d like to be your partner, Alonzo.” Immediately, Alonzo hugged me tight. “Oh, Baby! That’s what I hoped you would say!” He held me out at arm’s length and saw that I wasn’t sharing his enthusiasm. “What’s wrong, Baby?” A single tear fell from my eye. “I thought you were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend.” “Ask you? Rachael, why should I ask for something that I already have?” My eyes grew wide in horror. He told me the day we met that he was single and now he tells me he already has a girlfriend! Was she the reason why I only saw him when I saw him? It was rare that I spent any one on one time with him. Either he was whisking me away to yet another club concert or there would be a “hot new act” that we (more him than I) just had to see. His words broke into my barrage of thoughts. Lifting my chin in his hand, Alonzo said, “Rachael, you already are my girlfriend.” “Huh?” I blinked back tears. “Since when?” “If you ask me, since that night we met. Rachael, I told you that if you were my lady, no harm would ever come to you. That was my promise to you and to us,” Alonzo replied. “Ever since that night, no harm has come your way because I’ve been here to protect you. You are my lady, Rachael. Don’t ever doubt that.” “Then why don’t you have any pictures of me up on the walls at your place?” I sniffed. “Rachael, have you seen any pictures of anybody on my walls?” I thought for a moment as I got a mental picture of his apartment in my head. Scanning all the walls in the living room… hallway… bedroom… No, there weren’t any pictures of people up. A reproduction of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” in the living room, but no photos. “You don’t have any pictures up… Why is that?” I asked. “I don’t have any family pictures to put up,” Alonzo stated. “My mother died in a car accident when I was a baby. Her family couldn’t take me in at the time. I’ve been in so many foster homes that I never allowed myself to get attached to a family. Once I started to feel like I belonged, I’d get yanked out and put into a new home.” Hugging him close, I said, “But you said you had family in San Antonio.” “My mother’s family lived in San Antonio. When I got older, I looked into my family history from what my mother’s sister Gina told me after I found out that my mother was the aunt of one of my classmates,” Alonzo explained. “You were that close to your family and didn’t even know it?” I asked, stunned by what I was hearing. “I know. Small world, huh” Alonzo chuckled softly. “That was just a few years ago when I reconnected with my father and his family who were still in San Antonio. That was when I found out that when my mom got pregnant with me, my father was already married with a kid.” “Chico?” I asked tentatively. “Exactly,” Alonzo said quietly. “My father didn’t find out until I found him. After a DNA test, Charles and Phylicia took me into their life and we all moved here to St. Louis.” Alonzo said in a soft but proud tone. “Besides them and Chico, you are the closest thing I have to real family, but I didn’t want to make our relationship permanent until you were ready.” “What made you think that I wasn’t ready, Alonzo?” I asked as I pulled him closer to me. “I’ve seen your cell phone bills, Rachael,” Alonzo said with an edge. “You’ve been accepting collect calls from that thug. He still has a hold on your heart.” I couldn’t lie to Alonzo but I knew what I was about to say wasn’t gonna sound like the truth. “I only accepted the calls to keep him up to date about his grandmother. Big Mama keeps up with me to hear about Aaron but her phone service doesn’t allow her to receive collect calls. He called her one time and the bill was so high that her daughters cut off the collect calls even though Aaron is the only one who would call her collect. But as much as he loved Big Mama he would have called every day and she would have taken every single call from her grandbaby. I’ve never really talked to him. I just relayed messages between him and Big Mama.” “How did he get your number?” Alonzo asked as he pulled away from me. “Big Mama asked if she could give it to him,” I explained. “She said that she knows he did me wrong but he’s still her grandson and she loves him. She promised me that once Aaron was out of jail that I would never have to hear from him again. But he’s not worth losing you. I’ll stop taking his calls immediately.” Alonzo looked like he was letting all of this new information filter to his brain. “Do you still love him?” he asked. “He’ll always have a place in my heart, Alonzo. He’s my first,” I replied truthfully. “Do you still love him?” Alonzo repeated as he stepped away from me. “Yes,” I said weakly. “Are you in love with him?” he asked. Without hesitation, I replied, “No. I love you, Alonzo Banks. That’s why I haven’t talked to anyone else. That’s why I diss bruthas left and right when they try to talk to me. That’s why I have pictures of you all over my apartment. Because not only do I love you, Alonzo, but I think I’m falling in love with you. And, to me, that’s love on a deeper level.” “Really? Your love is that deep, huh?” I loved making his dimples show! “Yes.” I slid my arms around Alonzo’s waist to pull him closer to me. “What do I have to do to prove my love for you?” “Were you ever in love with Aaron?” Why is he still talking about him? “At one point in my life, I was,” I admitted. “How did you prove it to him?” “I didn’t prove it to him. He proved it to me, or so I thought,” I scoffed at the memory of my ex and his gestures of love. “How?” Alonzo inquired. “By making love to me,” I replied. Alonzo was silent for a moment. He glanced around my apartment. His eyes stopped on the black wrought iron canopy bed in my bedroom. As he kept his gaze on my bed, Alonzo said, “I believe you love me, Rachael.” “But do you believe that I’m falling in love with you?” I asked as I gently squeezed my arms around his trim waistline. Alonzo looked deep into my dark brown eyes. “Yes. And you don’t have to prove anything to me.” HONK!! HONK!! A car horn blew outside. “I guess they’re ready to go eat,” he said. “Are you?” “Ready when you are,” I smiled. Alonzo draped his jacket over my arms to shield me from the November night air. As we stepped out into the hallway, he kissed me at the nape of my neck. Since I’m extremely ticklish, I scrunched my head down and giggled. After I locked my apartment door, Alonzo slowly turned me around for a kiss. When we came out of our embrace, his eyes had a dreamy look in them. “I could get used to this,” he said. “I hope so,” I agreed, repeating his response when I first said those words to him. When we stepped outside, I was surprised to see a silver stretch limousine. I was even more surprised when Meeka poked her head out of the moon roof. Holding a glass of champagne, Meeka screamed, “Happy Birthday, Girl! Yo man sho know how ta do it right!” “We’re riding in that?!” I looked at Alonzo for a response. He simply smiled. “Nothing is too good for my lady.” Alonzo gave me a soft kiss. “And this is just the beginning.” My arm in his, we walked to the limousine. The driver stood by the door and opened it for us. “Where to, Mr. Banks?” the driver asked. “Our first stop is Cunetto’s,” said Alonzo. “Yes, Sir,” replied the driver. Alonzo and I joined Meeka and Chico in the limo. Chico was looking through the mini bar to see what else was available to drink. Meeka had the bottle of champagne on ice. “Girl, you want a glass of champagne? You’re legal now!” I sat back and cuddled in Alonzo’s arms. “I’ve got all I need right here, Meeka.” Cunetto’s is my favorite Italian restaurant in St. Louis. When we arrived, you would’ve thought we were movie stars. People stopped and stared to see who was stepping out of the silver limo. The driver got out and came around to open the door. Chico got out first, followed by Meeka, me and Alonzo. Alonzo told the driver to keep his cell phone on so we could call him when we were ready. As we walked into the restaurant, the hostess straightened herself out before greeting us. Without Alonzo announcing who we were, she immediately led us to a private party room. When the doors opened, we were welcomed by a chorus of cheers and applause. The first thing I noticed was a banner over a large table that read “Happy Birthday, Rachael!” I turned to Alonzo and said, “I have to tell you something.” “What’s that, Baby?” asked Alonzo as he hugged me close to him. “If you’re doing this to impress me, it worked.” “Don’t be impressed yet,” Alonzo smiled. “There’s more.” Several of Alonzo and Chico’s business associates were present as well as some of my co-workers. My boss was the first to personally greet us. As he handed me an envelope, he kissed me on the cheek and said, “Happy Birthday, Ms. Wallace.” “Cedric, how many times have I asked you to call me Rachael?” Cedric tilted his head and put his hand to his chubby chin. “I’d say every time I say ‘Ms. Wallace’.” Cedric gave me a hug and said, “Happy Birthday, Rachael. Enjoy your vacation and I will see you after the New Year.” With that, he walked away. Puzzled, I said, “After the New Year?” I looked at Alonzo who once again smiled. “What do you know about this?” “Pretty much everything. The contents of that envelope may explain it better, but let’s wait ‘til later to open it.” Alonzo took the envelope and placed it in his inside jacket pocket. I put the envelope out of my mind and enjoyed the rest of the evening. It was my birthday, so Alonzo let me run the show my way... or so I thought. My plan was to eat dinner, go dancing, and just chill with Alonzo until the sun came up. Since Cunetto’s didn’t have a dance floor, after dinner we moved the party to Upscale, one of Alonzo’s clubs. To my surprise, the staff was prepared for our entourage with the club open only for our party guests. Alonzo told me he anticipated that I would want to go dancing so he asked the DJ to play all of my favorite songs, both old and new school. He even threw in some songs by a few of his up and coming artists. I spent most of the evening by Alonzo’s side. Just when I realized that I hadn’t said more than two words to him for most of the night other than “Thank you,” Alonzo gave me a gentle squeeze. “Everything OK?” he asked with a kiss. I simply nodded my head. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth that I would cry. Alonzo held my chin in his hand and tilted my head up. “Baby, are you sure?” “Mm-hmm. It’s just…” “What, Rachael?” asked Alonzo with concern. “What is it?” “Alonzo… I’m not used to anyone being this…” “Thoughtful? Caring? Considerate? Surprising?” Alonzo offered. “Exactly.” “Well, Rachael, you may as well get used to it. As my lady, you will have nothing but the best of everything,” Alonzo promised. I looked around at the room full of tastefully dressed partygoers. This was nothing like what I expected for my 21st birthday. But then again, that was before I had Alonzo in my life. To end the evening, I wanted to go somewhere romantic with Alonzo to watch the sunrise. Although I didn’t want to be rude to our guests, I asked Alonzo, “Do we have to stay ‘til the end of the party?” “Not if you don’t want to. Are you ready to go home?” Alonzo asked. “Not home, but I’m ready to go,” I hinted. With an impish grin, Alonzo said, “OK. I’ll just let Chico know that we’re leaving. Did you want the limo or the Escalade?” “The Escalade would be better if you had it here,” I replied. “I really wasn’t trying to spend a romantic evening with the limo driver.” “Oh, we’re gonna do something romantic?” he teased. I gave Alonzo a playful punch. “You are so silly!” “But most importantly,” Alonzo said as he pulled me close to him. “I’m yours.” He informed Chico and Meeka that we were leaving. “Y’all got the limo.” “Ah’ight, man.” Chico and Alonzo exchanged daps. Chico gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.” “Thank you, Chico. Take care of my girl.” “Ain’t even gotta worry ‘bout dat!” Chico exclaimed before kissing Meeka full on the lips. Meeka held my arm. “Girl, call me tomorrow. I got some shit to tell you!” “Give me a minute and I’ll get back at ya.” We hugged each other good-bye. “Ah’ight! Later!” Meeka said as she hugged Chico close to her. Alonzo led me out of the club, stopping here and there to inform employees of what they should do in his absence. Once everything was squared away, we stepped outside into the crisp November night. Ricky, Alonzo’s personal valet driver, came over to us. “I’ll be right back with the Escalade, Mr. Banks.” With a puzzled look, I asked, “OK, how is Ricky gonna get the Escalade? Didn’t you leave it at home?” “No,” said Alonzo as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I came here to the club because this is where the limo was picking me up.” “How did you know I wanted to come here?” I asked quizzically. “I didn’t. But I did know you would want to go dancing and where else should my lady shake her ass but in the best of my clubs.” “Shake my ass?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “I’m the only man that can say that about you.” Alonzo kissed me softly on my cheek. “This is true.” I turned to give my sexy boyfriend a kiss just as a black Jeep Grand Cherokee stopped beside us. With the engine running and the radio thumping, the driver got out with his gaze locked on Alonzo and me. “Baby Girl?!” “I think I know him,” I said more to myself than Alonzo. His voice sounded familiar, too. Too familiar. A chill ran down my spine as I mentally prayed that it wasn’t who I thought it was. Damn! It was Kris Young, one of Aaron’s boys. “Baby Girl, I’m surprised to see you here,” said Kris as he came over to us. “I been lookin’ all over fa you. You know Ron’s getting out soon, right?” “No, I didn’t know that and I don’t care.” I gave Kris a look that told him I was serious. Although Alonzo was there the entire time, Kris finally realized that I wasn’t alone. “Oh, my bad! This yo new man?” “Yes, Kris,” I said, “And we were just leaving.” “What? You not gon’ introduce us?” Kris held out his hand to Alonzo, who didn’t move a muscle. “No, I’m not,” I informed Kris as Ricky pulled up in Alonzo’s Escalade. “Oh, SNAP!!! You rollin’ like THAT! I see why you ain’t with Ron no mo’! You done moved up in the world!” Kris whooped. I didn’t even bother to respond to Kris’ comment. Alonzo opened my door for me and helped me get inside the Escalade. Kris walked over to my door and tapped on the window. Through the glass, I said, “What, Kris?” “Roll down the window,” he pleaded. Alonzo got behind the wheel. “Is he bothering you, Rachael?” “Not really. Can you wait a second? Kris has something to tell me.” Clearly, Alonzo was not comfortable with me talking to Kris. “I’m not getting out. We’re going to talk right here, OK?” Relief washed over Alonzo. “OK.” I rolled down my window so that I could speak to Kris. “What do you have to say?” “Can you step out of the car?” “No, Kris. What do you have to say?” I repeated. Kris reached in his pants pocket and pulled out a thick envelope. On the outside, it read: To Baby Girl, With Love, Ron “Ron told me to give this to you the next time I saw you. I went by the apartment after he gave it to me, but Meeka said you moved out months ago. I’m sorry I just caught up to you but she said she didn’t know where you’d moved to.” He attempted to hand the envelope to me but I wasn’t having it. “I don’t want it or anything dealing with Aaron.” “Baby Girl,” Kris pleaded as he placed the envelope in my hands. “Ron said that I had to give this to you or else. I’ve been looking for you for a minute. He calls me every day to see if I’ve delivered the package.” I took the envelope and flipped it over in my hands. “What’s in it?” “I don’t know, Baby Girl. I just know that Ron said that you had to have it,” Kris explained. “Is there anything you want me to tell him?” “No, I’ve said enough to Mr. Jones. Good night, Kris.” “Night, Baby Girl. Nice meeting you…” Kris said with an outstretched hand while Alonzo still didn’t offer his name. “Ah’ight, then. I’ll see y’all later.” Alonzo rolled up my window and revved his engine as Kris got inside his Jeep. I leaned over to kiss Alonzo to let him know that everything was OK. Instead of accepting my kiss, he tried to take the envelope from my hands, but I held onto it. “No, I want to see what’s in it.” “Does it matter?” said Alonzo as he watched Kris drive off the lot. “It won’t change how I feel about you, if that’s what you’re afraid of.” Turning his head to look at me, he asked, “Then why open it?” “Closure,” I replied, looking deep into his eyes. Alonzo shook his head as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Whateva.” “Boo, nothing’s going to change.” While Alonzo focused on the road, I opened the envelope from Aaron. Inside were a letter and several $100 bills. “Oh, my God…” Without looking at me, Alonzo said, “Let me guess. He sent you a fat letter saying how sorry he was for mistreating you and he’s asking you to take him back.” “No…” I clicked on a light, took the money out of the envelope and counted it. “Three thousand dollars in one hundred dollar bills.” I opened the letter and read it to myself: October 30, 2002 Dear Rachael, It’s been a minute since I called you that. I heard from one of my boys that you moved out of the apartment. That’s cool. I should’ve expected that since I told you to be out before I got home. I never shoulda said that. I never wanted you to leave. Anyway, the charges have been dropped and I’m getting out on November 8th, the day before your birthday. Thought I forgot, huh? I was hoping that this money will be enough for you to find us an apartment. I don’t know where you moved to, but my boy, Devin, told me he saw you one day and that you’re still looking fine. He said you been kickin’ it with somebody but I know that ain’t true, right? I just hope you haven’t had to suffer because of my ignorance. I know you’re a good woman, Rachael. Sitting in jail has helped me realize that and I’ve taken this time to put my life in perspective. Big Mama tells me that you visit her every week. Thanks for staying in touch. I never thought we’d have to be apart for so long, but I’m coming home to my Baby Girl. I’ll meet you at Big Mama’s for my homecoming party on Sunday November 10th. Ya know I gotta spend some time with my first lady, but I want to see you bright and early on the 10th, ah’ight? I love you, Rachael. Aaron Alonzo gave me a sideways glance. “What’s the money for?” I was still in shock from Aaron’s letter. “He says it’s for an apartment… for him and me.” When Alonzo stopped the truck, I was surprised by the destination. “Why did you bring me home?” “I thought we were done for the evening,” Alonzo replied curtly as he kept the engine running. “No, Boo. I wanted to go somewhere and watch the sunrise,” I said, putting my hand on his arm to rub it gently. Puzzled, Alonzo looked at me and said, “Oh, really? It seems like you were more interested in what ‘Ron’ had sent you.” “I’m taking the money to his grandmother in the morning. I have no use for it,” I said to assure him. As I put the envelope in the glove compartment, Alonzo changed the radio station from hip-hop to smooth jazz. “What did the letter say?” “He says the charges were dropped and he got out on the 8th. He wants to see me tomorrow.” “The same day you decided to give his grandmother that money. Convenient,” Alonzo sneered. “Alonzo, the letter was dated October 30th. He didn’t know it would take Kris this long to find me. It’s not like I left a forwarding address.” Alonzo was obviously upset by what I’d told him about Aaron’s letter. “So what now?” “What do you mean?” I asked with irritation. Why do I feel like I’m defending myself for something that I haven’t done?! “Now that ‘your first’ is out of jail, where does that leave us?” Alonzo asked, for the first time sounding insecure about where we stood. “As far as I know, you and I are still together. I told you that nothing has changed.” Alonzo took my left hand in his right to kiss it. “Rachael, I’m sorry for ever doubting you.” “I think I understand why, Alonzo, but I love you. No one could ever change that. Not even Aaron.” I reached over to turn Alonzo’s head in my direction. “Alonzo…” I could see the dimples deepen as his smile grew. “Turn off the engine. We have the rest of our lives to catch a sunrise. Right now, I want to give you something.” “Did you forget it’s your birthday? You’re supposed to receive gifts, not give them,” Alonzo said with a chuckle. Just then, I remembered the envelope that Cedric gave me earlier that evening. “Speaking of gifts, what was it that Cedric gave me?” “I almost forgot about that,” said Alonzo as he reached inside his jacket. As he took the envelope out, he said, “Do you want to open it now or after you give me my gift?” “I want to open it now,” I said with a devilish grin. “I was gonna open it while you made me breakfast in bed, but curiosity is getting the best of me.” “Breakfast in bed?” Alonzo arched his right eyebrow as he handed me the envelope. “You’re assuming that I’m coming back in the morning to cook.” “No, Mr. Banks. I’m assuming you’ll be here in the morning after sleeping in my bed.” I opened the envelope. Inside were two first class tickets to Hawaii. “Whoa!” “What is it?” I showed Alonzo the tickets. “Oh! I see…” said Alonzo. “Happy birthday, Ms. Wallace. I don’t think I can top that.” I leaned over and nibbled on Alonzo’s ear. When I saw his eyebrow rise again, I knew I had found a “spot” so I whispered a few naughty thoughts into his ear. After parking the truck and turning off the ignition, Alonzo couldn’t get out of the Escalade fast enough! He raced around the front of the truck to my door to let me out. Once my feet were on the ground, he closed the door, chirped the alarm and picked me up in his arms. As we approached the door to my building, Alonzo said, “Rachael, are you sure about this?” “Sure about what?” I tried to hide my grin. “Letting you serve me breakfast in bed?” Alonzo couldn’t help smiling. “No, I mean about you and me…” “Making love?” “Yeah.” “I’ve been ready for quite a while, Alonzo. Ever since I first realized that I love you.” “Good. Because I wanted this to be a night you’d never forget.” “Oh, trust me, Alonzo,” I said thinking back to Aaron’s letter. “I won’t forget anything.” 7 Weddings and Funerals… The day after my birthday was the day that Aaron had requested to see me. However, I didn’t intend to see him when I arrived at Big Mama’s house. Just as I had promised Alonzo, I went to Big Mama’s to return Aaron’s money. That was my only intention of going there. Unfortunately, someone else had other plans for me. When I arrived, there were several cars in front of the house. I assumed the house would be full of Aaron’s family and friends celebrating his homecoming but when I went inside the house, the mood was far from cheerful. There were enough members of the Jones family in Big Mama’s house to have a mini family reunion, but from the looks on everyone’s faces, you would’ve thought they were gathered for a wake. You don’t know how close to the truth I was with that thought. I looked around to see if Big Mama was available so that I could drop off the money and be on my way. I went up to Aaron’s Aunt Erica and asked where Big Mama was. My question brought her to tears! As I apologized for upsetting her, she stammered out, “Sh-sh-she’s in h-h-her ro-oo-oo-oom…” Big Mama’s bedroom was toward the back of the house, which meant that I had to wade through a hallway full of family members. Some of them hugged me and kissed me, saying how good I looked and how Aaron always talked about me. I, in turn, hugged and kissed my way to Big Mama. When I reached the door, it was ajar. Aaron was having a private conversation with his grandmother. Although I tried not to eavesdrop, I couldn’t help hearing what was said. “Aaron, you know you love that girl. You should’ve helped her out while you were in that awful place!” I heard Big Mama say. “I know, Big Mama, but I didn’t think she’d wait for me to get out,” said Aaron. The sound of his voice sent unexpected tingles through my body. I couldn’t believe that he still had that effect on me! “You didn’t believe she loved you enough to wait for you?” Big Mama coughed harshly. “No, not really,” Aaron replied softly. With a raspy voice, Big Mama asked, “Why not, Aaron?” “Big Mama… ever since my Mama died, you’re the only one I’ve ever depended on for anything,” he explained. “Has Rachael ever let you down before?” Big Mama asked. There was a pause before Aaron responded. “No.” “So what made you think she wouldn’t be there for you while you were in jail?” Big Mama coughed again making me almost enter the room to give her a glass of water. “Honestly, I didn’t want Rachael to get tied down to me,” Aaron said, barely above a whisper. “I’m no good for her. She deserves better.” What?! Aaron, I loved you! Why would you think you weren’t good enough for me??? “While I was out here, I took care of everything for her. I loved her and protected her, Big Mama! How in the hell could I do that from behind bars?!” As quickly as Aaron’s voice rose, it dropped almost to a whisper. “I just hope she doesn’t think she found someone better.” “No one is better for her than my grandbaby,” coughed Big Mama, more violently than before. It was a rough smoker’s cough. Sounded like she was hocking up a lung. I peeked in the doorway and saw Big Mama and Aaron’s reflections in her dresser mirror. Aaron reached over to Big Mama’s nightstand and poured her a glass of water. After he helped her sit up, she took a few sips. Damn, he still looks good! It had been a week since I’d last seen Big Mama, but I didn’t think she was this sick. I didn’t want to interrupt but if she was in her final moments, I wanted to say my last good-byes. I knocked lightly on the door. “Who is it?” Big Mama asked weakly. Timidly, I replied, “Rachael.” What am I scared of? It’s just Aaron on the other side of this door. “Come in, Rachael!” said Big Mama enthusiastically. I opened the door enough to get a full view of Big Mama lying on her bed under the covers with Aaron sitting beside her. Aaron smiled and stood up when he saw me. “Hi, Rachael. I see you got my letter.” “Kris caught up with me last night,” I said while smiling at Big Mama. “Belated Happy Birthday, Rachael,” said Big Mama with all the strength she had. “Come here and give me a hug.” Barely acknowledging Aaron’s presence, I walked over to Big Mama and did as she asked. She patted the space beside her. “Sit down, child. I haven’t seen you in a while.” Big Mama and I shared a laugh because she said that every time I came to visit her. Before I sat down, I opened my purse and handed Aaron the envelope with the $3,000 still in it. As I expected, Aaron looked puzzled. “What’s this?” “There’s a note inside that explains everything,” I replied politely. “I just want a moment with Big Mama, if you don’t mind.” “Actually, Rachael, I want to talk to the both of you,” said Big Mama. Once again, she patted the bed. “Sit down, please.” Slowly, I sat down beside Big Mama. Aaron put the envelope in the nightstand drawer before he sat behind me and slid his arms around my waist. Not one to put on a show for anyone, I immediately removed his hands before shooting him dirty look. “Aaron, please! You dropped me when you were locked up, remember?” I said to refresh his memory. “Don’t even try to act like you can just pick up where you left off!” “Rachael… Aaron…” Immediately, we focused our attention on Big Mama. “I wanted to make a last request of the two of you.” “Whatever you want, Big Mama, it’s yours,” said Aaron as he once again eased his arms around my waist. I tactfully pinched his left arm to remind him to stop. He didn’t move, flinch or scream. He just kept his arms around my waist. He went so far as to put his head on my shoulder while Big Mama continued talking. “Babies, I know how much you two love each other. You’ve known each other since you were kids. Grew up together. Fell in love…” Big Mama’s coughs were getting harder and rougher. “Babies… I wanted to see you two get married.” MARRIED?! “MARRIED?!” I exclaimed. “Big Mama… You want us to get married?!” “We’ll do it,” replied Aaron. I whipped around to look him in the face. “I know I didn’t just hear you tell your grandmother that we’d get married!” “Yes, you did. Baby, I promised you that the next time I gave you a ring box, it will be what you’re expecting.” Aaron reached inside his pants pocket, knelt down to the floor and pulled out a burgundy ring box. “Rachael, will you…” Before he finished, I jumped up and shouted, “Aww, HELL NAW!!!” Realizing that I’d said that in front of Big Mama, I quickly apologized. “I’m sorry, Big Mama, but I can’t marry Aaron!” She simply said, “You still love him, don’t you?” I looked at Aaron before responding. “Yes, Big Mama, I still love Aaron, but not enough to forgive him, let alone marry him.” Big Mama reached for my hand. As she gently squeezed it, she said, “But you still love him, right?” I hesitated before responding. I looked from Aaron to Big Mama. From his baby face to her grandmotherly grin. From his beautiful hazel eyes to hers. “I do.” “Then you can do this for me, right?” Big Mama reached up for my hand. I took hers and sat back down beside her. “There is nothing you two can’t get through as long as you love each other.” My mind raced with thoughts of a wedding. Me coming down the aisle with a mile long train. My groom standing at the altar with his back to me. I step up to the altar. The minister asks that the bride and groom face each other but, instead of Aaron, I see Alonzo. “Big Mama, I’m sorry, but I can’t marry Aaron,” I apologized. “I love someone else.” Aaron dropped the ring box. “You love him? You barely know him!” Big Mama squeezed my hand. “Rachael… please. I just want to see my grandbaby happy. You make him happy. You are the best thing to ever happen in his life. He loves you!” I looked directly at Aaron. “Love doesn’t make you fend for yourself. Love doesn’t say ‘Your problem, not mine.’ Love stands behind you no matter what!” I looked back at Big Mama. “I was willing to do anything for Aaron until he showed me that I wasn’t shit!” Aaron picked up the ring box and started to walk out of the room. Before his hand could reach the doorknob, Big Mama clutched at her chest, gasping for air! “Aaron!” “Big Mama!” Aaron exclaimed in horror. Immediately, Aaron was at her side while I checked to see if she was breathing. She was… Barely. With her last breath, she said, “He loves you, Rachael. Marry him.” * * Just hours after my meeting with Aaron and Big Mama, I was sitting at my dining room table with Alonzo, Chico and Meeka. “You what?!” Alonzo looked like he could spit nails! “I told Aaron’s grandmother that I would marry him,” I said as I dabbed a tissue at my eyes. “WHY?!” Alonzo asked. I couldn’t face Alonzo. Instead, I stared at my hand that wore the engagement ring Aaron had given me just before Big Mama passed away. I was remembering the smile on Big Mama’s beautiful face as Aaron slipped the ring on my finger. Her late husband had given the same engagement ring to her. “It was her dying wish,” I said in explanation. “Is she dead?” my boyfriend asked seriously. How could you be so insensitive?! “Alonzo!” cried Meeka. After a brief pause, Alonzo asked in all seriousness, “Well, is she?” “She died at the hospital about an hour ago,” I said as tears streamed down my face. “I left her house after the ambulance took her away but Aaron called just before y’all got here to tell me she was gone.” “Aww, girl,” said Meeka as she took me into her arms. “I know how much you loved her and I know you’ll miss her, but we’re here for you.” Alonzo stood up from the table. “I don’t believe this shit!” He walked over to my patio doors and slammed his fist against the glass. Chico got up to settle him down, but Alonzo pushed him away. “How the fuck she supposed to be my girl when she accepted his marriage proposal?!” “Zo, man, she ain’t gotta marry him,” Chico reasoned. “Baby Girl only promised the old bird that she’d do it so she could die peacefully.” Alonzo’s face brightened. “Yeah… Chico, you’re right. Ain’t nuthin to worry about.” My now calmer boyfriend walked over to me and knelt in front of me. “Baby, let’s go take him his ring back.” “Zo,” said Meeka. “Ron just lost his grandmother. You want to break his heart further by making him take the ring back?” Alonzo looked at my friend. “I don’t give a fuck about his feelings, Meeka,” he said seriously. “He used his dying grandmother to propose to my lady!” “Boo, she’s right,” I reminded Alonzo as I walked over and stood in front of him. “This can wait until later. At least until after the funeral.” “So you’re gonna wear the ring until then?!” Alonzo asked in disbelief. Not seeing any reason why I should wear the ring right then, I slipped it off my finger. “I’ll put it away until the funeral. I’ll give it back to him at the repast.” “Speaking of the funeral,” said Alonzo as he took my hands in his. “I’m going with you.” “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Boo,” I stated. Alonzo’s hands tensed up. “Why not?” “The last thing that family needs is a confrontation between you and Aaron at the funeral,” I explained. “I’ll take Meeka with me for support. Besides, how would it look with me walking in there with you on my arm?” “It’ll look like you came with your man,” Alonzo said matter-of-factly. “But Zo, she’s supposed to be engaged to Ron,” said Meeka. “His family would find it a bit suspicious that Ron’s fiancée is at the funeral all lovey dovey with you.” “I’ll come straight home after the funeral and you will have me for the rest of… well, you’ll have me all to yourself.” I didn’t want to assume that Alonzo was ready for a serious commitment. Although I was, I also didn’t want to scare him away. Alonzo must have noticed my hesitation. “I want you for the rest of my life, Rachael. And when the time is right, I’ll give you a proper proposal.” He sealed his promise with a kiss. “Oooo, Girl. We gotta hurry if we want to get to the mall before it closes!” squealed Meeka. “The mall?” asked Chico. “You always at the mall, Meeka. Whatchu need now?!” “Me and Baby Girl gotta find some fly gear to wear to the funeral,” explained Meeka. “I want Ron to know what a good woman he gave up and she gon’ look so tight he’ll wish he was Zo!” “I like that idea, Meeka,” said Alonzo as he pulled me closer to him. “I’m sure you’ve got plenty of stuff to wear but Meeka’s right. You can go get something new for the funeral. Get something you don’t want to wear again cuz it’s going to Goodwill after this shit is over.” I gave Alonzo a sideways glance. “Why would I get something that I wouldn’t want to wear again?” “It’s not that you wouldn’t want to wear it,” said Alonzo. “I know I won’t want to see it on you because at some point during the funeral, he’s gonna touch you while he’s fronting like you’re his woman.” “I’ll be keeping that to a minimum, trust me,” I assured Alonzo. “That’s my Baby.” Alonzo kissed me on my neck. “You ready to go, Baby Girl?” said Meeka anxiously. “Yeah. I just need to get my purse and keys,” I said as I began looking for them. “Here…” Alonzo handed me his Platinum Visa card and the keys to the Escalade. I looked at the card and keys then up at Alonzo. Before I could say anything, Alonzo said, “Nothing but the best for my Baby. Have fun. Dinner will be ready when you get back.” Meeka looked from Alonzo to Chico. “How come you don’t do stuff like that for me?” “Cuz I ain’t rollin’ like dat!” Chico smiled. Meeka gave Chico a teasing punch before we grabbed our coats and walked out of the apartment. The elevator doors were barely closed before she started dishing dirt. “Girrrrl, remember when I told you that I had some shit to tell you?” she gushed. “Mm-hmm,” I replied as I put Alonzo’s credit card into my wallet. “Baby Girl, I knew about Ron getting out but since we both started working, I hardly had any time to just chill and talk with you,” Meeka explained. “I wanted to warn you that Ron was coming back early but whenever I saw you, we were with our men. I thought Ron was going down for some years but apparently the police illegally stopped and searched him so the judge threw the case out. Ron and Kris called me a few times trying to find you but you had moved out and didn’t give me your new number or tell me where you moved to. And I fa damn sho wasn’t gonna give him Zo’s number. I did tell him that you had a new man but Ron wasn’t trying to hear that!” The elevator hit the first floor. As the doors opened, we were blinded by the glare of the sun off the glossy lobby floor. Immediately, we put on our sunglasses and headed for the Escalade. “Thanks for looking out, Meeka,” I said. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you my new number, but…” “Girl, don’t apologize. I wouldn’t give you my new number either if I was trying to hide from my ex,” Meeka stated. “I wasn’t hiding, Meeka,” I said defensively. “Nah, Girl. I mean I understand why you didn’t tell me. I know I gossip too much and I probably would’ve told Ron your number, address and the security code if I knew the information.” Meeka laughed nervously. Her laugh made me uneasy, but I quickly brushed off my doubt. We hopped into the Escalade and headed for the Saint Louis Galleria for some serious shopping. Minutes later, we pulled into the mall’s parking garage. We were barely inside when three youngens walked up to us trying to mack. The oldest one looked like he might be seventeen. “Excuse me, but can I talk to you?” asked the shortest of the group. I would guess he was the spokesperson. Unfortunately, he spoke to the wrong person: Meeka. And she didn’t waste any time cutting them all down. “Look, little boy,” she said damn near pushing her 38D’s into his mouth. “I don’t have time to babysit right now so why don’t you and your little friends run along and find the game store so you can play with the new video games.” “Oooo, Shorty, man, she got you!” said the tallest one. “Dayum! Cutie got chu, man!” said the oldest looking one. Meeka looked at the other two boys. “I was talking about all of y’all. Now step before I call ya mama to come and pick you up.” “Whateva, man. Come on, y’all,” said Shorty. “We don’t want yo old ass pussy no way!” “Boy, I’ll…” I had to grab Meeka who was in the process of preparing to beat those boys as they ran away, laughing and joking with each other. “Meeka, let them go. They’re just kids,” I said, suppressing a giggle. “Disrespectful little bastards. Ain’t got no home training!” she shouted at the now absent teenagers. “Meeka?!” “I know…” Meeka took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “That’s not what we’re here for. Ah’ight. Forget them. Let’s shop!” Meeka tried to get me to buy some hoochie wear but I reminded her that we were going to a funeral, not the club. Finally, we compromised and settled on two simple yet slightly revealing black dresses. As we walked out of the clothing store after purchasing our dresses, Meeka lamented, “I wish we wore the same size, Baby Girl, cuz then I could have your dress before Zo throws it away.” “Now why would anyone throw away such a beautiful dress for such a beautiful lady?” came a mellow voice from behind us. I shook my head praying that it was not who I thought it was. When I turned around, I found myself face to face with Aaron and his boys. Kris, Devin and Jay said a collective “Hi”. “Hey, Baby Girl.” Aaron never used my real name in front of his boys. For all they knew, Baby Girl was the name my mama gave me. Usually, I addressed Aaron by his given name in return. This time, I just looked at him. “Don’t my fiancée look beautiful, y’all. She’s so happy, she’s glowing!” Aaron took my hands in his. I kept my eyes locked on his, waiting for his expression to change when he realized that I wasn’t wearing his ring. I was disappointed that he didn’t react in front of our audience. “Excuse us, for a second, Meeka. I need to speak to Baby Girl in private.” “Girl?” Meeka asked, looking at me. “I’ll be alright. Just give me a minute,” I assured her as Aaron took my hand and led me away from our friends. Aaron stopped at a bench and asked me to have a seat. Not wanting to cause a scene, I sat down. Aaron sat close and held up my hands. After he kissed each one, he looked into my eyes. “Rachael, where’s your ring?” “At home, Aaron,” I replied simply. “Baby, how’s everybody gonna know we’re engaged if you don’t wear my ring?” he asked, smiling at me. “Aaron, we’re not engaged. I told Big Mama that I would marry you so she could rest in peace.” “No, you didn’t. You said yes because you love me.” He attempted to kiss me, but I leaned back. “Don’t do that. They’re watching,” he warned. I took a sideways glance at Meeka and Aaron’s boys. Sure enough, they were all up in our grills. Reluctantly, I let Aaron kiss me. If I hadn’t stopped him, he would’ve kissed me until the mall closed. Butterflies… I still feel butterflies… As our lips parted, Aaron said, “You told Big Mama you still love me, Rachael.” “Your point?” “My point is that we can make this work,” he replied. I tried to scoot away from Aaron but that just made him pull me closer to him. “This can’t work because I already have someone else in my life,” I pointed out. “He’s the rebound man, Sweetheart. It won’t last. Besides…” Aaron leaned close to my ear. “I’m your first. You never get over your first.” “I’m not marrying you, Aaron.” I attempted to get up but Aaron pulled me down onto his lap. “I don’t want to fight although I wouldn’t mind making up.” Aaron went straight for my tickle spots. I couldn’t help laughing. To the outside eye, it may have looked like Aaron and I were your typical happy couple proudly displaying their affection for each other. Realizing who was making me smile, I quickly got off Aaron’s lap and changed the subject. “Why did you send the money, Aaron?” “I thought the letter was self-explanatory,” he said as he stood, quickly tugging me into a bear hug. “You mentioned that you were looking for an apartment,” I stated, failing at pushing him away from me. “Why didn’t you go back to your good buddy, Mr. Napoli?” “He found somebody to take our apartment and his wife prefers the money over the favors,” said Aaron with a chuckle. “He said that if something comes up that we’re more than welcome to come back.” “There is no we, Aaron,” I reminded him. Halting his hug, he held my chin in his hand. “You will be mine again, Rachael.” Just then, Meeka’s nervous laughter came to my mind. Suspiciously, I asked, “Aaron, why are you in the mall? Big Mama just died today and you’re out shopping? Did Meeka tell you where we were going?” “Meeka and I don’t hang like that. I see her occasionally but unless you’re there, I don’t speak to her. Besides, I could say the same about you being up in the mall.” Aaron grinned revealing the little dimple in his right cheek. Not as deep as Alonzo’s. “I had to find something to wear for Big Mama’s funeral,” I explained. Looking puzzled, Aaron asked, “Out of all the clothes I bought you, you didn’t have anything to wear?” “I don’t have those clothes. I bought a whole new wardrobe,” I replied proudly, thinking back to the day that Alonzo and I packed up everything Aaron bought for me and dropped them off at Goodwill. Never one to turn down a good hand-me-down, it felt great to give something back to the community. “Mmm…,” Aaron purred while licking his lips. “You rollin’ like that now?” “Yes. Now if you’ll excuse me,” I said as I turned to leave. Aaron grabbed me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Rachael, I love you. You love me. We’ll be happy. I promise.” “Why are you here, Aaron?” I asked as I pushed him away. “I couldn’t stand to be away from you another minute,” said Aaron as he pulled me back into his arms. “No sense in waiting until after the funeral. Why don’t you come home tonight?” “Home? I have a place of my own, thank you,” I said as I pushed myself away again. “Why can’t you understand that it is over between us? Or did you forget that that was your decision?” Aaron put a finger to my lips. “Shh, someone might hear you and think you’re serious.” “I am serious, Aaron!” Shaking my head, I looked over at Meeka who was tapping her watch. “Did Meeka call you and tell you we’d be here?” “NO!” Pulling me back to him, Aaron nodded his head at his boys. “Look, a couple weeks back, Devin saw you riding down Delmar in a silver Escalade. I told him that you didn’t have a car but when we rolled past an apartment building earlier today and saw you and Meeka get in it, we decided to follow you. Now here we are. Lovers reunited.” Aaron leaned in for a kiss, but I turned my head sideways. “That’s cool. We’ll have plenty of time to pick up where we left off when you come back home.” Tired of arguing my point with Aaron, I broke free from his hold and stalked past Meeka. “Let’s go!” I snapped in her direction. “O-OK?” Meeka had to run to keep up with me. “Is everything alright, Baby Girl?” “It will be when I get back home to Alonzo.” “I LOVE YOU, RACHAEL!” Aaron was at the opposite end of the tunnel that Meeka and I were taking to get to the truck. His words echoed off the walls. “I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT! YOUR PLACE AT EIGHT! AH’IGHT!” I stopped dead in my tracks. Bravely, I turned around and said, “That’ll be a bit impossible since you don’t know where I live, Aaron.” As I continued walking, I stopped suddenly when Aaron said my building’s address. The only thing he didn’t say was the apartment number. I looked at Meeka in horror. “I don’t know the exact apartment number but if I have to go to each and every door until I find you, I will!” Aaron said as he walked down the tunnel toward us. “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I screamed. Just as I reached the door to the garage, I heard Aaron’s parting words: “TIL DEATH DO US PART, RACHAEL. TIL DEATH DO US PART!” 8 Unwanted Guest… Shaken and stirred would be an accurate description of me after my encounters with Aaron within the past few days. First, the letter from him saying that he still loved me and wanted to work things out. Then, Big Mama’s deathbed request and Aaron’s proposal. And, finally, his promise/threat of “Til death do us part.” If this were any other person, they may have been a bit overwhelmed. Hell. Who was I fooling? I was a fucking wreck! Too upset to drive, I let Meeka take the Escalade back to my apartment. Thinking that Aaron and his boys would follow us, I constantly looked in the rearview mirror during the entire ride home. When my cell phone rang, I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Hello?” I asked nervously. “Rachael?” It was Alonzo. Sensing my nervousness, he asked, “Baby, are you alright?” “I’m fine, Alonzo. I just missed hitting a cat in the road. I was so jumpy that I let Meeka drive us back.” I had to lie. That way, if Alonzo watched us pull in and he saw Meeka get out of the driver’s side, I was already covered. Sounding convinced, Alonzo said, “That’s cool. Did you find something at the mall?” Yeah… My fiancé. “Meeka and I found a couple of nice dresses,” I replied. BEEP! My cell phone beeped to let me know that I had a call waiting on the other line. “Gone and get that. I’ll just see you when you get home. I’ve got a surprise for you.” BEEP! “OK, Boo. I’ll see you when I get there.” “I love you, Rachael.” Right then, I really needed to hear those three beautiful words from him. “I love you, too.” As soon as I was done talking to Alonzo, I clicked over to catch the other call. “Hello?” “Rachael.” It was Aaron. I have got to start looking at the caller ID before I accept calls! “Before you freak out, I got your cell number from my Aunt Erica. She said you left it with Big Mama some time ago.” After I changed my number and stop taking Aaron’s collect calls from jail, I gave Big Mama my new cell phone number so she could keep in touch with me. I wanted her to continue to be in my life even though I wanted nothing more to do with her grandson. “You’ve said quite enough today, Aaron.” Meeka’s mouth dropped open when she heard me say Aaron’s name. “No, actually, there’s one more thing to discuss,” stated Aaron confidently. “What’s that?” I asked in exasperation. “We have to set a date for the wedding.” I ended the call. Meeka stopped at a red light and looked at me. “What does he want now?” Before I could respond, my cell phone rang again. “Hello?” “Don’t be rude, Rachael. You didn’t have to hang up on me,” said Aaron. “Look, why don’t you tell me your apartment number and we can set a date tonight over dinner.” “Aaron, I’m on my way home to have dinner with my man,” I replied. With my head in my hand, I asked, “Why are you doing this to me?” “What am I doing to you? Loving you? Trying to make up for lost time? Planning for our future? What am I doing to you, Rachael?” Aaron asked sincerely. “Why can’t you get it through your head that I am not marrying you?” I was ready to hang up again. “Rachael, are you trying to tell me that you lied to Big Mama when you accepted my proposal?” I cringed at the thought of disappointing Big Mama. I could just picture her up in heaven, shaking her head at me. “No, I didn’t lie, exactly.” “So you will marry me?” I could just picture Aaron’s Cheshire cat grin. “Aaron. She asked me if I loved you. When I said yes, that was the truth. I also said that I couldn’t marry you. That was the truth, too,” I reminded him. “Now that she’s gone, there’s no need to go on with this charade.” “This isn’t a game, Rachael. I was serious when I proposed. Even if that wasn’t Big Mama’s last wish, I was gonna ask you to marry me today,” stated Aaron. “You love me. I love you. What more do we need?” “How about trust and support, for one thing, Aaron,” I pointed out. “Not just financial but also emotional. I didn’t get that from you.” “I never stopped loving you, Rachael.” “You have a fucked up way of showing love, Aaron.” I ended the call and turned the ringer off. By the time Meeka reached the parking lot of my apartment building, Aaron had called and left seven messages. Every single one asked me to give our love a try. The last message had his cell phone number in case I wanted to call him. Despite the phone conversations with Aaron, I was a bit calmer when we arrived at my apartment. As Meeka pulled into the lot, we saw Chico leaning against the back of his black 2003 Chevy Tahoe. After Meeka parked the Escalade, we hopped out and headed toward her boyfriend. “Did you leave anything in the stores?” Chico joked as he took Meeka’s bags and put them in his SUV. “Hangers,” I replied. We all laughed. It felt good to let out some of that nervous energy. I didn’t want Alonzo to notice it when I went inside. As I looked up toward my apartment, I watched as Alonzo stood in the window. He didn’t look happy. “What’s wrong with Alonzo?” I asked Chico. Chico looked up at the window but Alonzo was gone. “He was fine when I came out here. I guess he wants you up there with him instead of down here with us,” Chico replied. “And with that, we’ll leave,” said Meeka. “When is the funeral, Baby Girl?” “The viewing is Friday and the funeral is Saturday at ten followed by the repast at Big Mama’s house.” “Are you going to the viewing?” Meeka asked as she hugged Chico closer. “Yeah, but not with Aaron.” “What about the family? Won’t they be expecting you to be there with Ron?” Damn! I hadn’t thought of that… “They probably will, but I don’t care about that. I’ll pay my respects to Big Mama and play the doting fiancée at the funeral, but not anytime before or after that.” Just then, I heard the bass from someone’s vehicle heading down the street in our direction. I turned to look at the street and watched as someone looking too damn much like Aaron’s boy Kris drive past in a black Jeep Cherokee. As the bass faded in the distance, I looked at Meeka. “Tell me that wasn’t…” “I think that was Kris!” Meeka shrieked. “Do you think he’ll tell Ron you’re here?” “Aaron already knows where I live.” I reminded her. “He just doesn’t know which apartment number.” Luckily you have to use a security code to get into the building. I looked toward the building entrance to see Alonzo walking out of the door. He still didn’t look happy. “What’s wrong, Boo?” I asked as I headed his way. Without responding, Alonzo came up to me, took my face in his hands and kissed me long and hard. If Meeka hadn’t said, “DAYUM!” I don’t know if he would’ve stopped. To be honest, I wouldn’t’ve cared if he didn’t stop! Once he pulled his lips away from mine, Alonzo said, “Let’s go inside. Later, Big Brother. Bye, Meeka.” I had to say my good-byes quickly because Alonzo scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the apartment. When we were alone in the elevator, I asked, “Not that I’m complaining but what was that about?” “When did you give that muthafucka your new home number?” “What? Who? Who has my number?” I asked in surprise. Please, don’t say Aaron. “Aaron.” Fuck! “He called the apartment?” I asked in disbelief. “Five times, just after you left for the mall!” Alonzo snapped. “The caller ID said ‘Erica Jones’ so I thought it was a friend of yours and I let the voicemail take the message. I didn’t pick up until the last call. The number kept poppin’ up, so I figured it was urgent. Instead of ‘Erica’, it’s him.” “Alonzo, I didn’t give Aaron my number. He has an Aunt Erica and she probably got the number from Big Mama’s address book.” I hugged Alonzo close to me and kissed him. “Once I give him the ring back, we’ll never have to hear from him again.” When we reached my floor, the elevator doors barely opened when Alonzo took my hand and practically dragged me to the apartment. “What’s the rush, Boo?” I hoped it was because of the surprise Alonzo had for me. When we entered the apartment, I saw what the rush was for. To my astonishment, Aaron was standing in the middle of my living room! With arms open, he said, “There’s my Baby Girl!” My eyes almost popped out of my head! “How in the hell did you get in here?” “I let him in,” said Alonzo as he closed and locked my door. He walked over to the couch and sat down. Looking from Aaron to Alonzo, I said, “Why?” “When he called and I talked to him, he said that you were ‘coming home’ tonight and he wanted to know what time he should come and get you,” Alonzo explained calmly. Wide eyed, I looked back at Aaron. “You said WHAT?!” Aaron simply smiled back at me. I walked over to the couch and sat beside Alonzo. His entire body was tense. I rubbed my hand up and down his leg to try to calm him. He relaxed a bit when I kissed and nibbled on his ear. Once I saw a smile emerge on his handsome face, I kissed him on the lips. This was not a show for Aaron. I wanted Alonzo to know that I meant it when I said that Aaron wouldn’t change anything. Obviously tired of our display of affection, Aaron cleared his throat. “Rachael, are you all packed and ready to go?” Whipping my head around to face Aaron, I spat, “I guess you didn’t hear me at the mall!” Alonzo jumped away from me. “At the mall?” “Told you, man,” said Aaron confidently. Sensing that I was being set up for something, I asked, “What did you tell him, Aaron?” “I told him the truth. That I saw you at the mall earlier with Meeka,” Aaron replied as he sat opposite us on my loveseat. Alonzo stood up and walked toward the patio doors. “He says that you were all hugged up on him and kissing him.” “He got that backwards,” I corrected. “He was the one all up on me.” “Of course I was, Rachael. You’re my lady. How else was I supposed to act?” Aaron replied innocently, leaning up on his knees, blowing kisses at me. Quickly, I stood up and walked over to Alonzo. “I told him that I wasn’t going to marry him, Alonzo.” “I don’t recall that,” said Aaron. “Alonzo, go get the ring so I can give it back to Aaron,” I said as I watched for my ex’s reaction. As requested, Alonzo turned and went to my bedroom. When Alonzo was out of the room, Aaron stood up with that look in his eye. “Damn, Baby, you got him trained! You never did that shit to me!” Before I could blink, Aaron eased himself over to me and slid his arms around my waist. “But then again, I would do anything you told me to do.” After pushing myself out of his embrace, I looked at Aaron to see if he would correct himself. I walked over and stood by the front door and folded my arms over my chest. “Oh, like you did when I asked you to help me out while you were locked up?” Aaron walked over to me and gently pulled me to him. “Baby, I told you, I had to make sure I had enough to get out. Mr. Oldman’s services ain’t cheap. I wasn’t even supposed to be in jail because that’s what I pay him for! Baby, my money was tied up and I couldn’t touch it. Once he assured me that I could pay him later, I asked him to get the three G’s for you to keep our apartment.” Aaron released me to hold my hands. When I didn’t take them back, he kissed each one. “But by then, it was too late. Mr. Napoli rented the apartment right after you moved out.” “Just as you ordered me to do,” I reminded him. “Rachael, I was upset that day because I was locked up and couldn’t take care of you. Before I got caught, I was trying to save up enough money so that I could get out of the game and start a new life for us. I wanted to go legit and go to barber school and get my license. Maybe open up my own business. I wanted to help you go to school so you could get your writing degree. I know how much you love writing. I loved the poems you used to write me. You’ve got talent, Rachael.” Aaron looked down at his feet. “I wanted you to go to school, but I was afraid that some educated college nigga would make you forget all about me.” “Aaron…” When he looked up at me, tears welled up in his eyes. “I love you, Rachael. I only wanted the best for you, but when I got locked up, I realized I wasn’t shit and I didn’t want to drag you down with me.” A single tear fell from his hazel eyes. Words failed me. All I could do was let Aaron hold me. When Alonzo came back into the room, from the corner of my eye I watched as he stopped suddenly at the sight of Aaron and I embracing each other. Immediately, I pulled away from my ex. As Alonzo came over to us, he cleared his throat before he held out the ring box. When I hesitated to take it, Alonzo said, “What are you waiting for? You said you weren’t going to marry him. Give him the ring.” I looked into Aaron’s eyes as I let his words settle on me. I could see nothing but love in his eyes. When I couldn’t look at him any longer, I walked back to the patio doors. “I’m sorry.” Since I didn’t indicate to whom I was speaking, I wasn’t surprised to hear Alonzo speak first. “You’re sorry about what, Rachael?” I looked at my First. My first best friend. My first boyfriend. My first lover. I walked over to Alonzo and took the box out of his hand. “Aaron, I’m sorry, but I’m not marrying you,” I said as I returned the ring. Reluctantly taking the box, Aaron looked at me as if I’d shot him. “Rachael…” “You heard the lady,” Alonzo smiled while he walked to the front door. As he opened the door, he said, “Take the ring and leave.” Aaron looked at me, but I looked away because I couldn’t face the hurt in his eyes. Before he left, he came over to me, kissed me on the cheek, and whispered into my ear, “This isn’t over, Rachael. I will have you back.” Loud enough for Alonzo to hear, Aaron said, “The limo will be here to pick you up at nine on Saturday for the funeral. What time do you want me to come and get you tomorrow for the viewing?” “I’m not going to the viewing with you,” I said as I looked out at the setting sun. I could see Aaron’s right eyebrow rose up in the patio door’s reflection. “What do you mean you’re not going with me? Of course, you’re going with me. We have to be there for Big Mama.” “I’m not going to the viewing with you,” I repeated. “There’s no point when I’ll be there next to you at the funeral. We can announce at the repast that we’re not getting married.” “Aww, hell naw we’re not!” Aaron roared. “Rachael, they just lost Big Mama. Everybody knows how much I love you and how much I’ve been talking about marrying you. We can’t just say we’re not getting married. Not in front of the whole family, Rachael. Just wait a few days.” Aaron took the ring out of the box. “You’ll need this when we go to the viewing.” He slipped the ring back onto my finger. “This was Big Mama’s ring from Granddad. She wanted me to give it to the one woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The only woman that I would ever love. That woman is you, Rachael.” Aaron kissed me softly on the cheek. “I left you my cell phone number on your cell phone voicemail. I’ll be at Big Mama’s house. I was thinking of going to the viewing around five but call me when you’re ready to go.” Before I could protest, Aaron took my face in his hands and kissed me full on the lips. In front of Alonzo! Too surprised to stop him, I just let him continue. Butterflies… Violently pulling Aaron away from me and slamming him against a wall, forearm to throat, Alonzo exclaimed, “What the fuck are you doing?! Get the hell away from her!” After straightening himself, Aaron slowly walked toward the door. Just before he walked out into the hallway, he turned and winked at me. Once Aaron was clear of the doorway, Alonzo slammed the door shut. “He’s about to see his grandmother because I’m gonna kill his ass!” I walked over to my boyfriend. “Boo, don’t let him get to you.” “Let him? How can I not?!” Alonzo fumed. “I come in here and he’s hugging and kissing all on you? And you didn’t even stop him! What kind of shit is that?” “Boo, it was nothing! He just did that to see if you would do anything. He was hoping you’d start something so that you’d look bad in my eyes. He knows how much I hate confrontations and fighting.” Alonzo paced the floor. When he stopped, he looked at the clock. “Damn! I gotta get ready to go to Upscale. Are you coming with me?” “What happened to our dinner?” I asked, consciously sniffing the air for my missing meal. “Ya boy pissed me off so bad with that phone call that I forgot all about cooking,” Alonzo explained. “On top of that, the punk ass muthafucka showed up over here. How did he know where you lived if you didn’t tell him? You think Meeka told him?” “I don’t know if Meeka told him anything, Boo but he told me his boy Devin saw us getting into the Escalade after we walked out of the building one day,” I explained. “I guess when he came by again and still saw the Escalade, he figured that I lived here and reported back to Aaron.” “All the more reason why you should come with me,” Alonzo pointed out. “No, I’m gonna stay here and relax,” I declined. “Maybe I’ll write in my journal or invite Meeka over to watch videos.” Alonzo hesitated before he headed for the door. “I don’t like the idea of you being here alone, especially since he knows where you live.” “I’m OK as long as he doesn’t get in the building,” I assured him. “Besides, he won’t do anything to me.” “From where I stood, if I wasn’t here, he would’ve had you on a plane to Vegas for a quickie wedding before you changed your mind again.” Alonzo kissed me before heading for the door. “Call Meeka and tell her to come over.” “No need for that, Alonzo. Go and don’t worry about me,” I said. “I’m so drained from today that I’ll probably take a shower and go straight to bed. I’ll be fine.” Alonzo didn’t seem convinced. He walked over to my cordless phone and dialed a number. “Yo Chico. Is Meeka there? … Meeka, what are you doing tonight? … Damn. … I didn’t want to leave Rachael alone tonight. … That’s alright.” After covering up the phone, my boyfriend turned to look at me, his face shrouded in worry. “I’ll just tell Chico that I’m not coming in tonight.” I walked over to Alonzo and put my hand on his arm. “Boo, go on in. You can check on me tomorrow. I promise I’m just gonna take a shower and go straight to bed.” Reluctantly, Alonzo agreed to go to work. “Thanks anyway, Meeka. I’ll see you later.” As he hung up the phone, Alonzo said, “I’ll probably call you from the club, but I’ll be back later tonight.” “OK,” I said before kissing my sexy boyfriend. “Now go or you’ll be late.” “Didja forget I’m the owner? I’m never late!” Alonzo flashed me a double dimpled grin before he left. Alonzo wasn’t gone a full minute before there was a knock at the door. Knowing that my Boo wouldn’t knock because he has a key, I looked through the peephole to see who was there. It was Aaron. 9 For Old Times’ Sake… Quietly, I put the chain on the door before Aaron knocked a couple more times. “Rachael, open up,” he pleaded. Through the door, I said, “What do you want, Aaron?” “I know ya boy just left,” replied Aaron. “Let me in.” “I believe we’re done talking, Aaron.” I was afraid to let him in because I didn’t trust my feelings for him. I was getting butterflies just thinking of him being on the other side of the door! “I’ll see you tomorrow at the viewing.” “That’s what I want to talk to you about,” said Aaron. “Let me in unless you want yo’ neighbors all up in our business.” A scenario ran through my mind. I let Aaron in. He kisses me. Clothes fall off. Alonzo walks in on us. Gunshots are heard. Ambulance and police sirens wail. One of us goes to jail. One of us doesn’t survive at all. Shaking my head, I said, “No, Aaron.” “Rachael, don’t make me go Keith Sweat on you out here,” said Aaron as he quietly thumped the door repeatedly. “You gonna make me sing the song?” I leaned my head against the door as Aaron sang. “There you go telling me no again. There you go. There you go...” Not able to take any more, with the chain still on, I opened the door. Through clenched teeth, I said, “Will you stop that?!” In his sexiest voice, Aaron said, “I will when you let me in.” I rolled my eyes and took the chain off the door. Knowing this could end badly but trusting that Aaron respected me enough that he wouldn’t completely sabotage my relationship with Alonzo, I let him back into the apartment. “Five minutes, but that’s it. Alonzo could come back at any time.” All the more reason not to let him in, don’t you think? And didn’t he just kiss you in of front of Alonzo? Damn Girl. Can we NOT have any drama tonight?! Aaron took his time coming inside. He was too busy looking me up and down to be worried about moving quickly. “Mm-mm-MM! Baby Girl, you look good enough to eat!” “You saw me at the mall and just a few minutes ago in the same outfit. Nothing’s changed,” I replied with annoyance as I closed the door. Amazing that the same arrogance that was there when I fell in love with Aaron was seriously grating on my last nerves right now! “Uh huh,” said Aaron. “You don’t have yo cock blockin’ ass friends wit’ ya.” He was referring to the fact that this was the first time he and I have been together without anyone else around. “Meeka looked like she wanted to beat my ass when I asked to speak to you in private.” “She was just looking out for me,” I said, defending my friend. “Now she should know by now that I would never do anything to harm you, Rachael.” Aaron touched my cheek with his fingertips. “You should know that.” I turned my head away. “What did you want to talk to me about that couldn’t be discussed over the phone?” “Rachael, I want you to go to the viewing with me. I don’t think I could get through it alone,” Aaron explained, reaching out to me as I walked over to the loveseat. Following me, he sat in my rocker recliner. “You loved Big Mama as much as I did. I need you there with me.” “I told you I’d be there, Aaron,” I assured him. “But I want you the right way. I want you to go with me, Rachael,” Aaron pleaded. “I want to go in there to see Big Mama with my fiancée on my arm, just as she would want.” Sighing heavily at him slipping those Marvin Gaye lyrics into his request, I said, “Aaron, when are you going to realize that you and I are not getting married? I love Alonzo. And he loves me, too.” “If he loves you so much, how come you two ain’t married?” Aaron asked. “Because we haven’t been dating that long, Aaron,” I reminded him. “But you and I have!” he retorted. “You know I love you, Rachael. Why are you making this so difficult?!” “I’m not the one that made things difficult,” I stated. Aaron took my hand and led me to the couch. “There’s something I’ve got to tell you. Maybe then you’ll change your mind about marrying me.” We sat silently for a moment before Aaron spoke again. “Rachael, did you know that you were in Big Mama’s will?” Stunned, I replied, “No. Why would I be?” Aaron took my hands in his. “Because she loves you.” “But I’m not family,” I said in confusion, still wondering why Big Mama would put me in her will. “To her, you are. She wanted to provide for you in the event of her death,” Aaron explained. Perplexed, I stood up and walked to the window. As I looked down on my quiet street, I watched as a few cars passed by in the stillness of the night. “I love Big Mama and I know she loved me but I still don’t understand. Why would she put me in her will? And how do you know this for sure?” “Big Mama told me about her will after I got outta jail,” Aaron explained as he joined me at the window. Sliding his arms around me, he continued. “As sick as she was, she wanted me to know that she loved us. She was so hurt to hear that we’d broken up and she said she’d help me get you back so that we could both be happy.” “What made her think that I wasn’t happy?” I asked, tensing up. “I mean, I told her about Alonzo because I didn’t want her to think that I was waiting for you. I knew how much she had hoped you and I would get back together, but after the way you dissed me when I came to visit you…” Aaron gently squeezed me. “I told Big Mama why I did that, Rachael. If I had believed that you wouldn’t abandon me, I would never have said any of that.” I turned to face Aaron. “Why would I abandon you, Aaron? I loved you!” “Loved?” Aaron gently held my chin in his hand. “Are you telling me that you don’t love me anymore? Not even a little bit?” “I will always have a place for you in my heart, Aaron,” I confessed. “But do you love me?” he asked. “If all I’m allowed is a place, I will have to accept that but do you still love me?” Looking directly into Aaron’s hazel eyes, I said, “Yes, I still love you.” That was all he needed to hear. Without hesitation, Aaron took my face into his hands and kissed me tenderly for what felt like an eternity. Damn butterflies! When we released from our embrace, Aaron had his “Let’s make love” look on his face. Fuck the butterflies, Rachael! It’s about damn time you woke up! Get this man out of here before you’ll be up there with Big Mama! “Why are you looking at me like that, Aaron?” I asked as if I didn’t already know! Taking my hand, he nodded toward my bedroom. Realizing where he wanted to go, what he wanted to do and who he wanted to do it with, I snapped on him! “Oh, no, we’re not! Have you lost your damn mind or do you not remember my six foot boyfriend who could come in here at any moment?” “If I’m that lucky,” Aaron said with a straight face. “Or did you want to wait until the honeymoon to make love again? Actually, I like that idea. Just don’t give it up to him. You’ll be re-virginated just for me.” And just like that, he reminds me why I’m glad we broke up! “AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!” I screamed. “Aaron!” With a boyish grin, Aaron replied, “What?!” I pushed and pulled him to the door. “Good night, Aaron!” “Did I say something wrong?” he grinned, trying to look innocent. “OK, so you proposed and I accepted. But you forget that I also declined the offer,” I said as I opened my door. “OK, Big Mama put me in her will. That’s nice, Aaron. But it’s not like she’s leaving me a house or some money.” Just as I managed to get Aaron fully outside the apartment, he turned and said, “What if she did?” “What if she did what, Aaron?” I asked. “What if she left us some money and the house? Would you marry me then?” Aaron inquired with a big grin on his face as he held the door open. Shocked, I replied, “Aaron Jones, I can’t believe you even asked me that! GOOD NIGHT!” I attempted to shut the door but Aaron kept his hand on the door and stopped me. “Weren’t you the one who said we should never go to bed angry?” Aaron inquired. “I believe I may have said that once. Your point?” I asked in confusion as to what he was hinting at. “I sense that you’re angry with me and there’s only one way to reverse that.” Aaron slid his hand down so that it was touching mine on the doorknob. I thought back to our past arguments and our make-up sex sessions that followed. I couldn’t hide the grin that crept to my lips. When I saw Aaron grinning back at me, mine faded. “Aaron, those days are long gone. I’m sure that after you get over losing Big Mama you will have no problem finding another woman to fight and make up with.” “Rachael, you’re the only woman I want.” Aaron said quietly as he took my hand off the doorknob and kissed it. “Look, I’m not gonna beg any longer. I’ll let you get some rest before tomorrow. Can I come and get you for the viewing?” I smiled when I realized that he was asking instead of demanding. “Yes, you can come and get me. What time did you want to go?” “Eleven thirty,” he replied. “Eleven thirty? In the morning? I thought the viewing didn’t start until five!” “It doesn’t. I was just hoping to spend some time with you to have lunch and catch up on things. But I’ll understand if you would rather just meet for the viewing.” His voice trailed off at the end as if he just knew I would say no. I thought for a moment. “OK, we can have lunch together. But…” “I know. Don’t mention getting married. I won’t. I promise.” Aaron kissed me softly on the cheek. “I’ll see you at eleven thirty. Good night, Rachael.” “Good night, Aaron.” I watched as he disappeared onto the elevator. I have to admit that after Aaron left, I was a bit suspicious of his proposal of a lunch date. Suspicious but intrigued. I can’t believe that he can still affect me… I walked over to my window and looked down at the parking lot, watching as Kris’ Jeep Grand Cherokee crept quietly onto the lot. Aaron looked up at my window and blew a kiss before he got in the Jeep. The car left as quietly as it came. I could still feel Aaron’s arms around me. His gentle kisses. His sexy eyes. I picked up my cordless phone and dialed a number. “Hello… Alonzo, I love you.” 10 Love You Forever… Promptly at 11:30 AM, Aaron called me. “Hey, Rachael, I’m downstairs.” “I’ll be down in a minute,” I said as I finished a note to Alonzo to tell him where I was going. As I hung up the phone, Alonzo came out of my bedroom. “Good Morning, Boo.” Still sleepy from pulling an all-nighter at the club, he said, “Mornin’… What are you all dressed up for? I thought the viewing wasn’t until this evening.” “I’m going out to lunch with Aaron.” I picked up my black Coach purse that complimented the black DKNY pants suit that I was wearing. “I should be back in a couple of hours.” Alonzo walked over to me and pulled me to him. “I know I’m sleepy but did you just say that you’re going out to lunch with Aaron?” I kissed Alonzo on the lips. “Yes, Boo.” As I turned to leave, Alonzo grabbed my arm. “Do you think that’s wise?” “He knows that I’m not marrying him, Alonzo. He just wants someone to talk to before he buries his grandmother tomorrow,” I replied quickly to assure him. No doubt feeling guilty, Alonzo apologized. “Rachael, I’m sorry, Baby. I don’t trust him!” Good thing you don’t know that he came back last night… “I understand, Alonzo,” I smiled. “But I don’t think he’ll try anything today of all days!” “We’ll see.” After a pause, he pulled me into his arms. “So where are you meeting him for lunch?” “Damn! I almost forgot!” Quickly, I kissed Alonzo and headed for the door. “He’s downstairs waiting for me.” “You’re leaving now?” “Yeah, Boo, but I’ll be right back. It’s just lunch.” I ran back to Alonzo for one more kiss before I headed out the door. “Two hours tops! I promise!” Moments later, I emerged from my apartment building into the crisp coolness of a typical November morning in St. Louis. I was just about to turn back and grab a heavier coat when I heard Aaron calling me. “Rachael, over here.” Aaron was sitting behind the wheel of a black 2003 Yukon XL Denali. After I picked up my jaw, I walked over to the passenger side of the SUV. “Is this you?” “I’m testing it out,” Aaron explained. “Not sure if I want this or the TrailBlazer. They’re both fully loaded and in your favorite color. We can stop by and see the Blazer after lunch.” I stepped back and took another look at the Denali. Nice… “You may want to park. I need to go back and get a warmer coat,” I explained. “No need. The seats are heated,” Aaron said as he patted the passenger seat. “I’ve made reservations for us at Caleco’s for twelve.” As I reached for the door, Aaron said, “Wait!” When he got out of the SUV and walked around to the passenger side to open my door, to say I was shocked would be an understatement! In all of the years, I’d known Aaron, I could count on one hand how many times he’d opened a door for me. This would be his second time. Ever. The first time was on our first date. Before I got in, Aaron helped me off with my coat. Once I was seated, he raced back around and got in after laying my coat on the backseat on top of his. “Ready to eat?” he smiled, as he threw the truck into gear. “Yeah,” I replied quietly, still in awe. Smoothly, Aaron pulled out into traffic and headed for US-40 toward downtown. Considering we’d been apart for months and used to talk about any and everything, it was weird just sitting quietly. That’s when I noticed that the radio was turned down low on a smooth jazz station. Since when does he listen to jazz? “This is nice, Aaron,” I said, breaking the silence. “Thanks. I was hoping you’d like it,” said Aaron. “Do you think you can handle it?” “Handle what? You having a Denali?” “No, Baby,” Aaron chuckled to himself. “Do you think you can handle driving this?” “Me? Drive a Denali?” I looked at Aaron like he’d totally lost it! “Aaron, I’m only five foot six. I probably can’t even reach the pedals!” We both laughed. Aaron was barely an inch taller than I was. If he could drive this monster, I think I could handle it, too. “Actually, you probably need something a little smaller since you like to wear heels, dresses and skirts. That’s one of the things I love about you. You always dressed so sexy for me,” Aaron pointed out. He put his hand on mine. “I’m surprised you’re not wearing that dress you bought at the mall. It was HOT!” “I bought that dress for the funeral,” I said. All of a sudden, the gravity of the situation hit me. Big Mama was gone. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I looked in my purse for a tissue. “Baby, you alright?” Aaron asked with concern. Dabbing my eyes, I said, “Just thinkin’ ‘bout Big Mama.” As a single tear rolled down Aaron’s right cheek, he replied, “Me too.” I squeezed his hand to let him know that I was there for him. Skillfully, Aaron merged onto his exit. Moments later, he parked across the street from the restaurant. We both collected ourselves before we went in. “Thanks,” Aaron said after he handed me my coat. “For what?” “For being here for me,” he half smiled. “Aaron, I’ll always be here for you.” When he continued to look at me, I frowned. “What?” “I love you.” Aaron leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. “I can’t let any more days pass without telling you that. Life’s too short for bullshit. If you love someone, you should let them know as soon and as much as possible.” “Stop it. You’re gonna make me cry again.” Aaron squeezed my hand. “Come on. Let’s go eat.” After we ordered our lunch, Aaron and I spent the next two hours talking about the good times and the bad. In between bites, we went through our entire history together. We talked about the day we met. How Big Mama always said that we made a cute couple. The first time we realized we loved each other. Our first time making love. The last time we made love. Once the stories and food were gone, we simply sat in silence, holding hands. It felt like it was right but in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t. The moment was broken when my cell phone rang. “Excuse me, Aaron,” I said as I flipped open my phone. “Hello?” “Where are you?” Alonzo barked. “Caleco’s,” I replied, caught off guard by his harsh tone. “What happened to two hours?” he asked angrily. Never make a promise to return when you’re not the one in the driver’s seat. “We were just talking and must’ve lost track of time, Alonzo. I’ll be home in a minute.” Aaron’s smile faded when I mentioned my boyfriend’s name. Sounding relieved, Alonzo said, “I’ll see you when you get here. You left without giving me my medicine this morning.” “Medicine” was our name for making love. Smiling from ear to ear, I said, “I’ll be sure to give you a dose when I get home.” “Call me when you’re on your way so I can have your surprise ready,” Alonzo hinted. “What’s the surprise?” I asked feeling a smile creep onto my face. Alonzo laughed. “Now, Rachael, if I told you…” “I know. It wouldn’t be a surprise,” I pouted. “Fine. I’ll wait ‘til I get home.” “I love you,” Alonzo said. Looking at Aaron, I replied, “I love you.” Aaron mouthed “I love you, too.” I hung up my phone and put it on vibrate. “Sorry about that.” Scoffing, Aaron said, “No problem. I’m surprised he hasn’t called you more than this.” “He trusts me,” I smiled. “He knows you’re with me, right? I wouldn’t want one of his boys to come from nowhere and jump me,” Aaron said, pretending to be scared. “Yes, he knows,” I assured him. “I told him that I’d be back in two hours and I’ve been gone well over that.” “You put a time limit on us?” Aaron looked disappointed. “Well… Yeah, because I didn’t want to give us too much time to wander into untouchable subjects.” I squeezed his hands. “I’m sorry.” “No, I understand. I was a bit over the top yesterday,” Aaron admitted. “I guess I was trying not to think about Big Mama. I just wanted to focus on something positive in my life. I thought that if I concentrated on re-building my future with you that her death wouldn’t affect me so much.” “Aaron…” “No, Rachael. It’s OK. I know you’ve moved on with your life and I can’t blame you. I fucked up and now I have to pay the consequences.” Just then our waitress stopped by to check on our table. “Will you need anything else this afternoon?” “No, thanks. Just the check, please,” Aaron requested. After the waitress scurried away, I looked at Aaron. He looked like his entire world had crumbled right before his eyes. “Baby?” he asked. “Yes?” Aaron paused a moment before saying, “Never mind.” Ready with cash in hand when the waitress returned with the check, Aaron paid her on the spot and told her to keep the change. Slowly, Aaron rose and helped me put my coat on. Once again, we were silent in the Denali. I couldn’t help but to look at Aaron. His profile was that of a mature young man. More mature than the punk ass muthafucka from that Visiting Day not so long ago. Unhurriedly, Aaron drove me back to my apartment. When we reached my building, he parked the truck but left the engine running so that the heat was still flowing through the seats. Turning off the stereo, Aaron said, “I enjoyed our lunch.” “So did I, Aaron,” I admitted. “I hope we can get together more often,” he said quietly. “I’d like that.” “Rachael…” Aaron began. “Yes, Aaron?” That was the second time he hesitated and it made me nervous. “What is it?” “I don’t want to let you go, but if he makes you happy, I’m happy for you.” “He does make me happy, Aaron.” “Good.” Aaron reached over, opened the glove compartment and pulled out a rectangular jewelry case. “This is for you. For your birthday.” “Aaron, you didn’t have to get me anything.” “Yes, I did. You can be with whoever but you’ll always be my girl.” Opening the case, I was speechless as I smiled at Aaron. It was obvious to me at that moment that Aaron never stopped caring for me and always wanted the best for me. Inside the case was a platinum silver charm bracelet with three charms: two hearts with our initials, RW & AJ; a rose; and a butterfly. “Oh, Aaron. It’s beautiful!” I exhaled. “Each charm represents something special between us,” Aaron began. “The rose is a reminder of our first date. Remember the trail of roses from your mom’s house to the car and the trail that led to our picnic?” I smiled and nodded at the memory. “That was one of our most romantic dates.” “The butterfly symbolizes the feeling you give me whenever I’m near you.” “Aaron…” I smiled as I realized that I still had that effect on him just as much as he had it on me! Aaron took the bracelet out of the box and gently put it on my wrist. “The hearts with our initials symbolize our undying love for each other.” “I can’t…” Before I could finish, Aaron kissed me long and slow. “Rachael, as long as you love me, please wear this bracelet. That way if I see you and him one day and you’re still wearing it, you’re silently telling me that you still love me. I hope it never happens but don’t take this off until the day you stop loving me. Cool?” Smiling, I agreed. “Cool.” “You better get in there before he comes out and starts looking for you. Not trying to get you in trouble,” Aaron said. “I’ll be back around 4:30 to take you to the viewing.” “OK.” I gave Aaron a quick peck on the cheek before he handed me my coat. Patiently, I waited for Aaron to open my door. As Aaron hugged me good-bye, I said, “We’ll be OK, Baby.” Smiling, Aaron said, “I know we will. As long as I have you, I can get through anything.” Aaron waited until I was inside my building before he drove away. I looked at my watch and realized that Aaron would be back in an hour! As my elevator reached my floor, I mentally pictured what I would do until Aaron returned. A devilish grin crept across my face. I’d almost forgotten that I was supposed to give Alonzo his medicine when I returned. I’d also forgotten to call Alonzo on my way back so I simply knocked when I reached my apartment door. Before Alonzo opened the door, I covered the peephole with my hand. “Who is it?” came a deep male voice on the other side of the door. “A sexy long legged chica,” I replied. “Aww hell yeah!” Alonzo flung the door open and lunged at me. Once we were sufficiently satisfied by our lip lock, Alonzo scooped me up and carried me into the apartment. “You’ve been picking me up a lot lately. What’s up with that?” “Getting in practice,” Alonzo winked. As we entered the apartment, Alonzo swung me around so I could kick the door closed. Within moments, we were both stripped naked and frolicking in my bed, dispensing a quick thirty-minute dose of medicine to each other. 11 A Promise Is A Promise… A few days after Big Mama’s funeral, I received a call from her attorney, Michael Marshall. After I wrote down all the necessary information, I called Aaron. “I guess you were telling the truth,” I said. “About what?” he asked. “Big Mama’s will. Her attorney just called and asked for me to be present at the reading.” Aaron chuckled. “You didn’t believe me?” “It’s not that, Aaron. I just don’t understand why she would put me in her will.” “You’ll see why at the reading,” said Aaron mysteriously. “Want me to pick you up?” “Yeah. I don’t think Alonzo would mind.” “Rachael, I don’t mind picking you up, but Baby, when are you gonna get a car?” “When everybody stops asking when am I going to get a car,” I said sarcastically. “Ha… ha… ha…,” Aaron said dryly. “Well, the reason I asked is because I can get you a car if you want me to.” “No, thank you, Aaron. I’m going to get one on my own.” “Fine. Just call me whenever you need a ride somewhere,” Aaron offered. I smiled. “Well, don’t hold your breath. Alonzo and Meeka pretty much take me wherever I need to go, but I’ll keep you in mind.” The reading was scheduled for that afternoon at three. Aaron and I arranged to get together at two to ensure that we had time to find parking and the attorney’s office. When we arrived, Aaron’s Aunts Erica, Dianne and Marlene were gathered outside Mr. Marshall’s office. Each took turns giving Aaron and me a hug. “No one else is coming?” Aaron asked. “Only people named in Mama’s will were called, Ron honey,” said Erica. Just then, a young man opened the attorney’s office door. “My name is Steven. I am Mr. Marshall’s assistant. He will see you now.” Aaron and I followed his aunts into the office. Diplomas and pencil drawings decorated the walls. The floor was covered with a room sized Oriental rug. Michael Marshall was an attractive caramel skinned man. I’d guess he was in his early thirties. “Would anyone like anything to drink?” he offered. Everyone declined his offer. Dianne stated, “Sir, I have to leave as soon as possible to pick up my children from daycare.” “Very well then,” said Mr. Marshall. He explained that all the estate taxes and Big Mama’s creditors have been paid. The remaining assets were to be distributed among Erica, Dianne, Marlene, Aaron and me. Once the aunts heard what Big Mama had left them, Dianne excused herself. After Mr. Marshall informed Erica and Marlene of their asset disbursement, it was Aaron’s turn. “To my grandson, Aaron Jones, I leave the sum of five hundred thousand dollars and my residence at 7291 Kirkwood Rd., St. Louis, MO. This bequest is conditional and will only be distributed if the following stipulations are satisfied: 1. Aaron marries Rachael Wallace. 2. Aaron and Rachael must remain married and domiciled together for a minimum of one year. During their first year of marriage, Aaron and Rachael will be monitored by Michael Marshall, Esq. Upon the one year anniversary of their nuptials, this bequest will be issued in both of their names. Should any of these conditions not be met, this bequest will be null and void.” I… was… FLOORED! How could Big Mama do such a thing?! She knew I loved Alonzo! Yes, I still had love for Aaron, too, but to marry him… for a house and half a million dollars?! NO! “What?!” I exclaimed. “Mama’s leaving Aaron and Rachael the big house and half a million dollars?” protested Marlene. “All I get is her jewelry and $50,000!” “You shouldn’t complain, Marlene,” Erica pointed out. “I’d give up the money to have Mama back.” In embarrassment, Marlene looked down. “You’re right, Erica.” She turned to Aaron and me. “Congratulations, you two. Now you’ll have enough to start your new life together.” As Aaron thanked his aunts for their well wishes, I went over to Mr. Marshall. In a low voice, I asked, “Is this legal? Do I have to marry Aaron?” Just as Mr. Marshall was about to answer my question, Aaron came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Baby Girl, aren’t you glad we’re already engaged? Now all we have to do is get married and stay happy for a year.” Aaron turned me around to face him. “And that won’t be a problem since we’re already happy, right?” Aaron nodded his head in the direction of his aunts. Not wanting to cause a scene, I kept my mouth shut. Mr. Marshall cleared his throat. “Excuse me, but I’m not finished. There is one more item in the will regarding Mr. Jones.” Aaron took my hand and walked me to my seat. I prepared myself for the other shoe to drop. “In the event that Aaron chooses not to marry Rachael, he is to receive the sum of one hundred thousand dollars upon his twenty-fifth birthday.” Letting out a sigh of relief, I looked at Aaron and whispered, “Well, at least you’ll get some of the money.” Mr. Marshall cleared his throat again to get our full attention. “Ms. Wallace, you may want to hear this part.” “Sorry, Mr. Marshall,” I apologized. “To Rachael Wallace, I leave the sum of one hundred thousand dollars. This is in addition to the previously stated joint bequest. In the event that Rachael chooses not to marry Aaron, she is to receive the sum of one hundred thousand dollars upon her twenty-fifth birthday.” Aaron looked as pale as a ghost. I probably looked as pale as Aaron did because I didn’t expect Big Mama to leave me an escape route! “I didn’t know Mama was rollin’ like that!” stated Marlene. “I always knew Aaron was her favorite grandchild, but DAYUM!!” Mr. Marshall provided each of us with a copy of the will and his business card. “If you have any questions, feel free to call me anytime.” He opened his door to let us out. Waiting until his aunts were out of the room, Aaron stood behind my chair and said, “Yeah, I’ve got some questions for you, Mr. Marshall.” “Yes, Mr. Jones?” said Mr. Marshall as he closed his office door before sitting behind his desk. “Let me get this straight. When Rachael and I get married, after a year, we get $500,000?” “Yes,” replied Mr. Marshall. “But if she chooses not to marry me, then we still get money?” Aaron asked. “One hundred thousand upon your 25th birthdays, yes,” said Mr. Marshall. Aaron knelt down beside me and looked at me with pleading eyes. “Rachael… this is better than I ever imagined. I can go totally legit now!” “With $100,000?” I whispered back with raised eyebrows. Aaron looked confused. “Rachael, after we’re married for a year, we get $500,000!” I looked at Aaron like he’d totally lost his grip on reality. “Why doesn’t anyone hear me when I say I’m not marrying you… including you?!” “Don’t you see, Rachael? It’s a sign from heaven! Big Mama left us this money so we could restart our lives together.” I stood up and walked over to Mr. Marshall’s desk. “If we get married, we have to stay married for a full year?” “And you have to reside in the same home,” said Mr. Marshall. “Not necessarily the residence that Mrs. Jones has left for you, but you two must be legally married and residing together.” “Is there any way anyone would know if we weren’t living together?” I asked. Aaron came over to me and tried to lead me away from the attorney, but I wanted to know his answer. “Actually, yes, Ms. Wallace,” stated Mr. Marshall. “As it is stated in the will, I will be visiting your home from time to time to see how you two are getting along. If within the first year you choose to end the marriage, preparations will be made to have the union dissolved. At that time, you each will receive documents stating that you are to receive a bequest of $100,000 upon your 25th birthday. However, if you two remain married, at the one year anniversary of your nuptials, the bequest will be deposited into an account of your choosing.” I couldn’t look at Aaron. Knowing that he was disappointed that I still didn’t want to marry him, I wasn’t surprised when he took my hand. “Rachael?” Still not looking at him, I replied, “Yes?” “For Big Mama.” he whispered. I knew what he was asking. He didn’t want me to break my promise to his grandmother. Hugging Aaron close, I whispered back, “Let me think about it.” * * I chose to meet Alonzo at Cunetto’s to avoid a scene when I told him about the will reading. “That boy has a fucking death wish!” roared Alonzo. So much for that idea. “How much you wanna bet he asked his grandmother to put that marriage thing in her will?” Alonzo shouted. “She knew you were with me. She knew how happy you are with me. This is all Aaron’s doing!” I held Alonzo’s hands to try to calm him. “Boo, even if I don’t marry Aaron, he’ll still get money.” “Yeah, but not half a million,” Alonzo pointed out. “I’m sure he’ll be just as happy with the hundred thousand,” I said. “If I’ve got anything to say about it, my Baby is only getting married once and I’ll be damned if it’ll be to Aaron Jones.” “Are you hinting at something, Mr. Banks?” I smiled. Alonzo reached across the table and took my hands in his. “Rachael, all this mess with Aaron and your promise to his grandmother had me thinking about us. I tried to imagine my future without you, but I couldn’t. I don’t want to. I’ve never been in love before and I don’t want to lose this feeling.” Tears welled up in my eyes as Alonzo rose from his chair and knelt beside me. “Rachael, you can’t marry Aaron. I don’t think I could stand losing you. Especially not to him.” I looked deep into Alonzo’s eyes and saw a man who was deeply in love with me. Unfortunately, Aaron had that same look. I opened my arms for Alonzo to hold me. “Baby, I’d give up everything just to have you. The clubs. The scouting. The money. The cars. All of it,” Alonzo confessed. I held Alonzo’s face in my hands. “Hmm, maybe the clubs, but you can keep the rest.” Alonzo smiled. “Does this mean you won’t marry him?” “I don’t know, Boo,” I said. “I could get $250,000 just to be married to Aaron.” Shocked, Alonzo exclaimed, “Rachael!” “Just think about it, Boo. I marry Aaron and a year later, we’re $250,000 richer!” I don’t think he liked my joke. Alonzo stood up. Tossing a couple of twenties onto the table to cover our meals, he looked at me and said, “I just poured my heart out to you and you wanna make jokes?” Before I could respond, Alonzo walked out of the restaurant. I got up and followed him but when I got outside, the Escalade was pulling out of the lot. I screamed Alonzo’s name but he wasn’t trying to hear me. Luckily, I kept an emergency $20 in my purse. If I couldn’t reach Meeka, I’d call a cab to get home. Damn, Rachael. You better hope you didn’t totally fuck this up! Meeka picked up on the second ring. Breathlessly, she said, “Yeah? Who dis?” “Meeka, it’s Baby Girl.” “Hey, Girl. What’s up?” she replied with a softer tone. It sounded like I’d interrupted her couple time with Chico. “Are you busy?” “Kinda. Chico’s over here … Stop, Baby. I’m on the phone! … It’s Baby Girl. … Chico says hi.” “Tell him I said hey,” I replied with a sigh. “Meeka, don’t worry about it. I’ll just call a cab.” “Why you calling a cab? Where’s Zo?” When I didn’t immediately fill in the blank, Meeka did it for me. “Oh, Girl. Y’all didn’t have a fight, did you?” I couldn’t speak because I was too choked up. All I could get out was a weak “Mm-hmm.” “Oh, Girl. Where are you?” After I managed to get out my location, Meeka said, “I’ll be there in a minute. Just let me get dressed.” “Thanks, MeMe.” “You my girl. You can always count on me!” As I hung up the phone, I felt a little better. It’s in times of need you find out who your true friends are. I was blessed that Meeka was one of those friends. I was just turning around when I bumped into someone. “I’m sorry,” I apologized. To my astonishment, I’d bumped into my boyfriend! “No, I’m sorry,” said Alonzo. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. Forgive me?” He held his arms open for me. Without another word, I jumped into his arms and covered his face with kisses. “Boo, I never want to have another fight again.” “That’s a bit overly optimistic, but we can shoot for it.” Alonzo slowly lowered me to the floor. “Call your ride back and tell them you don’t need them.” “Oh, Meeka!” I exclaimed as I pictured my girl half dressed and halfway here to come and pick me up. Since she didn’t have a cell phone, I hoped that she was still at her apartment. Again, she picked up on the second ring. “Hello?” Meeka answered, for a second time breathless. “Did you run to the phone?” “Girl, give me a minute. I’ll be there!” “No, Meeka. That’s why I’m calling. Alonzo is here. You can go back to bed.” “Good cuz Chico was seriously trying to delay me… She said she don’t need me… Chico says ‘Thanks, Baby Girl!’” “Tell him I said thank you for letting you come and get me in the first place.” “Will do,” said Meeka. “Ah’ight. Call me tomorrow so you can fill me in cuz I know you been through some drama today.” “OK. Later. Thanks, Meeka.” I had barely turned off my cell phone before Alonzo pulled me into his arms. “Let’s go home. I see I have to give you a reminder of why you don’t need to marry Aaron.” A Cheshire cat sized grin spread across my face as I imagined what Alonzo had in store for me. Never one to be out done by anyone, least of all my ex, I was sure not to be disappointed with whatever Alonzo had planned for me. 12 A Change in Plans… By the end of November, Alonzo and Chico decided to concentrate their efforts more on establishing their talent agency and less on their nightclubs. When Alonzo asked me to quit working for Cedric and do promotions for Forté, Inc. exclusively, seeing an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up, I accepted. The weekend after Thanksgiving, Forté, Inc. went to San Antonio to check out a new singing act named Santiago. If we could sign the group, Santiago would be our first major client. After Alonzo gave me a bit of background on the group, he and Chico flew to San Antonio while I stayed behind to work on promotional ideas. Meeka thought it best for me to stay with her while our men were unavailable to “protect” us. I only agreed because I figured that if Meeka was around, I was less likely to get into trouble with Aaron. Less than a day after they left, Aaron didn’t waste any time trying to convince me that marrying him was a good idea. Everywhere I went, he left me a card and a single white rose, my favorite flower. I found cards and roses at my job, on Alonzo’s Escalade, and with my doorman. He even left a rose for me at Meeka’s apartment. I didn’t know if I should’ve been pissed or flattered by all the attention. Aaron had his romantic side, but he had never gone this far before. “Girl, what is he up to?” Meeka asked as she touched up my braids. “He act like you ain’t got no man or sumthin.” “I know,” I replied. “I can’t believe he’s been following me like this.” “Actually, he’s a step ahead of you since you’ve been finding his presents everywhere you go,” Meeka pointed out. “When I found that rose outside my door, I thought Chico had sent it. Then I read the card. Man, was I pissed. I thought my Baby had finally gotten the romance bug from Zo. But noooooo. It’s from your other man!” “Aaron’s not my man, MeMe!” Meeka held up my left hand. “Can’t tell with that phat rock on your hand, Girl.” As she released my hand, I looked at Aaron’s engagement ring. “Meeka, what would you do?” “Hmm…” Meeka pondered the possibility as she added another individual braid to my head. “Well, Rachael, if it was me and I loved my man like I believe you love Zo, I wouldn’t marry Ron. But if I didn’t have any deep feelings for either one of them, I’d go for the money. Stay married to Ron for a year, get divorced, get alimony for life. So long as you make sure his dick is covered when y’all fuckin’, you ain’t got nuthin ta worry ‘bout.” I whipped around to face Meeka. “First of all, I wouldn’t get any alimony once I marry Alonzo. And who said anything about having sex?!” Meeka looked at me. “Oh, yeah, Girl. I’m gonna believe that you and Ron are married and living together but not fuckin’? Jus’ like Ron would say, ‘Aww, HELL naw!’ You know you gone let him hit that!” A smirk crept to my lips. “I guess that would be one perk in the whole arrangement.” Instantly, I erased the thought from my head. “But I love Alonzo, Meeka. I couldn’t do it to him.” Just then, there was a knock at the door. Meeka called out, “Who is it?” “Ron,” came a muffled voice from the other side. “Is Baby Girl here?” “Speak of the devil,” Meeka whispered. I looked at Meeka and shook my head furiously. “Yeah, she’s here!” she replied. I lightly punched her arm before she went to open the door. “Hey, Ron. I’m just redoing her braids. Come on in.” I held on to a fake smile as Aaron entered the apartment. He had his hands behind his back as he walked over to me. Leaning over to kiss me, Aaron said, “Hello, Beautiful. I’ve been looking all over for you.” “Really?” I said sarcastically. “What for?” “To give you this.” From behind his back, Aaron pulled a long stemmed white rose. Taking the flower, I said, “Thank you, Aaron. Now will you stop leaving gifts everywhere? You’re probably putting some florist’s kids through college with all the roses you’ve bought.” “Good point,” he said as he sat in a chair next to me. “No sense in putting someone else’s kids through college. I should save some money for ours.” Meeka nearly choked on the water she was sipping. “Uh, speaking of kids, I’m gonna go check on Meechie. You two behave.” I restrained myself from protesting as Meeka left me alone with Aaron. “Did I say something wrong?” Aaron asked. I rose to get a drink from the kitchen. “I think Meeka just wanted to give us some time alone. Would you like something to drink?” “What she got in there?” Aaron rose to follow me into the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator as Aaron looked out the window. “I see she’s taking real good care of Darius’ little boy. Who let’s a lil kid play in the park while they’re up in the house? That boy is all the way across the street! She wouldn’t know shit about anything if something happened to him!” “Bottled water, Kool-Aid, Boone’s Farm and Slim Fast,” I said in an effort to divert Aaron’s attention. The last thing I wanted to talk about was the man he accused of landing him in jail or my best friend’s parenting skills. “As skinny as she is, she got the nerve to have Slim Fast,” said Aaron as he turned his nose up at all the options. “How about I take us out to dinner and we can have champagne with our meal.” Quizzically, I looked at Aaron. “Champagne?” “Yeah, to celebrate our impending nuptials.” Rolling my eyes, I pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. “There you go again.” Aaron walked over to me, took the bottle from my hand and set it on the counter. Before I could protest, he kissed me softly on the lips. Tingles and shivers crisscrossed through my body. Just as I was getting lost in the moment, the phone rang. Saved by the bell… Releasing myself from Aaron, I went to the phone. Before I picked up the receiver, I looked at the caller ID. The number had a “312” area code. With a frown, I answered the phone. “James residence.” “Hey, Baby Girl,” said Chico. “Is my lady around?” “She’s over at the playground with Meechie,” I said as I walked over to the kitchen window. “Damn. Well, can you do me a favor?” he asked. “Sure, Chico. What’s up?” Aaron walked over to me and tried to pull me into his arms. Gently, I pushed him away as I shook my head. “Tell her I miss her.” “Aww, that’s sweet, Chico. And she says you’re not romantic.” Aaron pulled me closer to him. “Oh, really?” Realizing I may have said too much while trying to keep Aaron away, I apologized. “I’m sorry, Chico. I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.” Shut up, Rachael! “I guess I’ll just have to show her how romantic I am when we get back.” “I’m sure she’ll be happy just to see you back here.” I pushed Aaron away as he tried to kiss me again. “Well, we’re almost done so I guess we’ll see you two later tonight.” “Tonight? Alonzo told me that you wouldn’t be back for a couple more days.” Aaron walked up behind me and began to kiss on the nape of my neck. I tried to swat him away but he wasn’t taking the hint. “Well, Santiago’s manager was pretty much ready to sign when we showed up to hear the group. Once we get all the papers signed, we’ll be on the next plane outta here!” “Is Alonzo there?” Aaron stood straight up at the sound of me asking about my boyfriend. Without a word, he walked back to the living room. “He’s talking with Santiago’s manager. You want me to get him on the phone?” “No, Chico. I’ll talk to him later. You guys have a safe trip back. Do you need Meeka to pick you up at the airport?” “Naw, we got that covered, but thanks.” “No problem, Chico.” Still disturbed that Alonzo’s story didn’t match Chico’s, I said, “I’ve gotta go and find Meeka so she can finish my hair. I’ll see you later.” Without waiting for Chico’s response, I hung up the phone. When I walked back into the living room, Aaron was sitting patiently on the couch. He patted the seat next to him. “Come here, Rachael. Please.” Without protesting, I did as Aaron asked. Clearing his throat before he spoke, Aaron said, “Rachael, I know a lot has happened to you in the last few weeks. That’s probably why you haven’t been able to sit down and decide what you’re gonna do. When I was in jail, I gave you the impression that I didn’t want you so you would move on without me. Now I’m back and you’re torn. I want to marry you but you feel loyal to him.” Aaron took my hands in his. As he lifted my left hand, he said, “You’re still wearing my ring. If you didn’t want to marry me, you would’ve given it back by now. So let’s cut the bullshit, Rachael. Are you gonna marry me or not?” “I-I-I don’t know, Aaron. I mean, at first I didn’t want to marry you before because of how badly you hurt me. Then I didn’t want to marry you because I love Alonzo…” I looked into those beautiful, sexy hazel eyes. “But I love you, too.” “OK, then, let me ask you the tie breaker question,” said Aaron. “I know you feel that being in love is deeper than just loving someone. Are you in love with him or are you in love with me?” I hadn’t really thought about that. I loved both Alonzo and Aaron, but was I in love with either one of them? A million thoughts and visions ran through my head. I saw Big Mama smiling down from heaven as Aaron and I exchanged wedding vows. I saw Aaron by my side as I gave birth to our first child. I saw Aaron and me, both old and grey, sitting in rocking chairs, watching our great-grandchildren play. As I looked at Aaron, I could still see his love for me in his stunning hazel eyes. “Aaron, I will marry you.” 13 Ya Shoulda Told The Truth… I didn’t even hear Meeka come into the apartment. “You’re gonna do what?!” she screamed as she stood in the doorway with a horrified expression. “I know I didn’t just hear you say you’d marry Ron!” Aaron, probably still in shock over my answer, was speechless. I stood and walked over to Meeka. “Chico called. They’re coming home tonight.” “Tonight?” Meeka’s smile was temporary. “What are you gonna tell Zo?” “The truth,” answered Aaron as he walked over to us. “She always tells the truth.” “I wasn’t talking to you!” Meeka took my hand and led me to the kitchen for privacy. “Rachael, you know this is gonna break Zo’s heart!” “There’s more to this than you know, TaMeeka. And I think Alonzo will understand why I’m doing this,” I explained. Meeka shook her head as tears came to her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re doing this!” “Baby Girl?” Aaron called from the living room. “I’ll call you later about dinner tonight.” I walked into the living room. “OK, I’ll be home by six.” For the first time in months, Aaron and I intimately kissed goodbye. As Aaron let himself out of the apartment, Meeka walked into the living room. “I can’t believe this shit!” “Meeka, while you’re finishing my braids, I will tell you what’s going on,” I said as I sat down. “And you might want to hurry so you can get ready before your man gets home.” “What about your man? Or have you forgotten about him already?” Meeka asked as she prepared to continue working on my braids. “MeMe…” “Naw, that’s cool.” Meeka patted the back of the chair I had been sitting in. “Let’s finish this. I gotta hear what’s really goin’ on.” While Meeka finished braiding my hair, I spent the next few hours telling her the whole story, from Big Mama’s deathbed wish to the will reading. “You told me y’all would get some money but half a million dollars?! I didn’t know Ron’s grandma was rollin’ like that!” said Meeka as she finished the last braid. To keep them neat, Meeka tied my braids in a silk scarf. “Oww, MeMe! That’s kinda tight!” It felt like my eyes were about to pop out of my head! “My bad, Girl.” Meeka loosened the scarf. “But you don’t seem like the gold digga type. I mean, Ron used to keep you in the latest fits, but Zo can do that, too. Plus Zo’s legit.” “I’m not doing it for the money. I’m doing it to keep my promise to Big Mama,” I explained. “If Alonzo loves me as much as he says he does, he can wait a year. If he can’t… Well, I’ll deal with that if the time comes.” I looked at my watch. “Chico didn’t say exactly what time they’d be here but I don’t want to be here when they get back.” “So when Zo comes home expecting to see his girlfriend, what am I supposed to tell him? That you’re out with your fiancé?” Meeka asked, shaking her head as she waited for my response. “I’ve always told Alonzo the truth, Meeka.” I admitted. I just wish he had given me the same respect! “You want me to tell him the truth?” Meeka asked with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry about it, Meeka. I’ll deal with Alonzo tomorrow,” I replied. “And if he asks, tell him I’m out.” “With Ron?” “If you want to tell him that, fine. I have no secrets.” I reached for my purse. “How much do I owe you?” “Girl, please,” Meeka said as she held up her hand. “I don’t want nothing.” “You sure? As much time as it took? Not to mention the length,” I smiled as I gingerly held my waist length braids. “Go before I change my mind,” Meeka said as she playfully pushed me toward the door. “Girl if you don’t take this!” As I hugged my friend, I put a $100 bill in her hand. “TaMeeka, everything will work out in the end. I promise.” An hour later, as I stood in front of my bedroom mirror, the phone rang. “Hello?” “Hey, Baby,” said Aaron. Relieved that it wasn’t Alonzo, I said, “Hey you. Are you downstairs?” “Ya know it. Are you ready?” “I’ll be down in a sec,” I replied, surprised to see my reflection smiling back at me. “I’ll be waiting.” Seconds after I hung up the phone, it rang again. “Hello?” “Hi, Rachael.” After a brief stomach flip, with little emotion, I said, “Alonzo.” “What’s up?” he replied exuberantly. “Nothing. Just going out to dinner with Aaron,” I replied nonchalantly. “Really.” Alonzo didn’t sound surprised. “Yeah. Why?” I asked. “Is there something else you wanna tell me about you and Aaron?” Alonzo asked flatly. Figuring that Meeka had already filled him in, I told Alonzo the truth. “I told him I’d marry him.” The silence was deafening. “I see…” Alonzo replied. “And when were you going to tell me about this?” “Right after you were gonna tell me that you were coming home earlier than expected. I wanted to do something special for us when you got back but I find out from Chico that you’re coming home today instead of in a few days.” “Is that why you said you’d marry him? Because my trip got shortened?!” he snapped. “No, Alonzo. I’m marrying Aaron because I made a promise to his grandmother.” Tears streamed down my face. “And because you didn’t tell me the truth about your trip. When Chico called to talk to Meeka, I looked at the caller ID. I saw the area code that he called from. It was 312, which is in Chicago. Not 210, which is in San Antonio. How stupid do you think I am Alonzo?” “Rachael, I can explain…” “Alonzo, you can save your lies.” I picked up a tissue and dabbed the tears from my face. “Now if you will excuse me, I’m late for my date with my fiancé.” I hung up the phone, ignoring Alonzo’s protests to my change in plans. 14 Reunited… As I stepped outside into the chilly late November evening, Aaron emerged from the back of a black stretch limousine. Holding the door open for me, Aaron said, “Your chariot awaits.” Slowly, I walked toward my fiancé. Damn! It feels strange thinking of Aaron as my fiancé… “Don’t you think a limo is a bit much for dinner?” “Nothing is too much for my wife,” Aaron said before softly kissing my freshly glossed lips. Instantly, I couldn’t feel any of the cold breezes zipping past us. After our kiss, Aaron held me out at arm’s length. “OK. Let me see it.” “See what?” “Let me see who you’re wearing tonight,” Aaron said, no doubt referring to my penchant for wearing designer clothing that I usually had in my closet back in the days when we lived together. I opened my black floor length coat to reveal a form fitting wine colored silk charmeuse dress with matching stiletto pumps. “Dayum!” Aaron’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “My Baby still got style! I see you with the ‘Come Fuck Me’ dress, then, the 6-inch Jimmy Choos is fire!” I became a true shopaholic as his girlfriend after Aaron and I studied and learned to recognize the styles of all our favorite fashion designers. Once he got deeper into the drug game, Aaron’s closet was just as full as mine! Aaron took off my coat and turned me around to get the full picture. A slit on each side showed off my perfectly toned calves. With my braids pulled up into a high ponytail, he ran his hands across the edge of the low cut back, just above my butt. “Rachael, would you be mad if I just took you home and had you for dessert?” Aaron licked his thick lips to sweeten the offer. I responded by reaching for my coat. “Oh, it’s like that?” Aaron mused. “You really expect me to take you to dinner when you look good enough to eat?!” “You don’t have to take me anywhere. I’ll just go back upstairs and…” “Baby, I was just kidding,” said Aaron as he pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around my slim waist. “I’d be a fool not to show my Baby off tonight. Our reservations are in the VIP room at Upscale. Kris said that club is off the hook!” Did he just say Upscale? As in Alonzo’s club, Upscale? What if Alonzo is there tonight? What if Alonzo and Aaron get into a fight? What if… “Rachael?” Aaron’s voice brought me from my reverie. “Yes?” “Is there a problem?” “N-no, Baby. I guess the cold’s getting to me.” “Oh! Baby, I’m sorry!” Aaron apologized as he helped me into the limo. After telling the driver our destination, Aaron concentrated his attention on me. “So, Mrs. Jones. What can I do to make this the most memorable night you’ve ever had?” “I think you already have,” I smiled before kissing him on his cheek. As I pulled back, a devilish grin crept across Aaron’s handsome baby face. “Oh, I haven’t yet, but I will, Mrs. Jones. I will.” Moments later, we arrived at Upscale. Pulling up in the limo made all heads turn. A few gasps came from the bouncers as they saw me walk to the door with Aaron instead of Alonzo. Despite my guest, they removed the velvet rope to let us in. Needless to say, Aaron was stunned and impressed. “They didn’t even ask who we were. Is there something I need to know, Rachael?” “Yeah, this is…” Before I could get the words out, I looked up to see Alonzo staring at us. His look was so intense that I almost forgot I was with Aaron. When Aaron saw where my gaze was directed, he took my left hand abruptly before leading me toward the VIP room. When we arrived, a fully dressed Trina was working the door. With a confused look, she said, “Good evening, Ms. Wallace. Will Mr. Banks be joining you this evening?” I smiled sweetly. “Not tonight, Trina.” “Or ever again,” interjected Aaron as he took off my coat and tossed it to Trina. “We’re here for the Jones party.” Although she was obviously annoyed at Aaron’s arrogance, Trina looked at the VIP room’s guest list. Trina asked, “And you are?” “The guests of honor.” It was my turn to have the confused look. “We’re the what?” Trina looked from me to Aaron and back. Her expression said, “But I thought…” In spite of the situation, Trina fulfilled her hostess duties by pulling back the velvet curtain to the dimly lit VIP room and escorting us inside. Once Aaron and I were in the room, the lights brightened and the room full of people jumped up and shouted, “SURPRISE!” Surprise was the understatement of the year! I looked around the room at all of our guests, most of whom were Aaron’s family and friends. Off in the corner, I saw Meeka and Chico. Before I had a chance to go and talk with them, Aaron pulled me close and passionately kissed me. The longer we kissed, the more intense the cheers and applause got. When Aaron finished his public display of affection, he said, “Did I surprise you?” “YES!” I exclaimed breathlessly, more from the kiss than the festivities. “Now the party can begin!” Aaron announced. He led me to a table that was covered with white rose petals. Aaron pulled out my chair for me. “Mrs. Jones, your seat for the evening.” As I sat down, a waitress came over to us. Popping gum and showing too much cleavage, she announced, “My name is Alexandra. But y’all can call me Alex. I’ll be your waitress this evening.” Aaron turned to me. “Baby, did you want anything?” “A Grey Goose martini in a chilled glass,” I smiled at Aaron. Popping her gum, I caught Alex’s smirk before she looked at Aaron. “Sir, what would you like?” “I’ll take a bottle of Henny to start and bring my lady a bottle of Grey Goose.” He handed the waitress a couple of $100 bills. After she took the money, Alex smiled as she looked Aaron up and down, then sneered as she gave me the once over. As she walked away to fill our drink order, she rolled her eyes at me and sucked her teeth. “I know she didn’t…” I said. “That bitch!” “Baby, it’s not even worth it,” said Aaron as he touched my arm. “We can just get another waitress.” “Awww, hell naw! Nobody does that shit to me in here! That little bitch don’t know who the hell I am?! I’m about to show her!” Before I could get up, Aaron kissed me. “Baby, I’ll take care of this.” I watched as Aaron went to confront our waitress. “Is everything OK?” came an unforgettably sexy deep voice from behind me. Fear and happiness washed over me as I turned to face Alonzo. Immediately calmed, I replied, “The waitress was a bit rude and Aaron went to talk to her.” “Which one?” Alonzo asked as he knelt down beside me. “What’s her name?” “I think she said her name was Alex,” I replied, watching Aaron going off on the rude and busty waitress. “Oh… Her.” Alonzo said with disdain as he put his face in his hands. “She’s gonna make me lose a lot of business tonight. This is her first night and already I’ve had five complaints.” I took Alonzo’s chin in my hand. “That’s not like you, Alonzo. You usually know if a person is good or not just by looking at them. Why are you keeping her?” “Chico said she’s an ex-stripper and doesn’t want to raise her daughter with that kind of work.” Alonzo explained. “Stripping is the only work experience she has and we were the first ones to give her a chance…” Alonzo took my hands into his. “Rachael…” “Yes, Boo?” I replied automatically. Alonzo looked mournfully at me. “Rachael, I need to talk to you. Privately.” “I think you’ve said enough.” Aaron was standing behind Alonzo. When Alonzo stood up, I thought Aaron would be intimidated by Alonzo’s extra seven inches in height. I was wrong. “Get away from my wife.” “Did y’all get married today?” Alonzo asked calmly. “No. This is our engagement party,” Aaron replied proudly. Alonzo smiled. “Well, in that case, she’s not your wife.” “Yet,” Aaron added with a smirk. As their testosterone levels increased, I rose and stood between them. “Aaron, it’s OK. We were just talking.” “How the fuck you get in here anyway?” Aaron asked as he pushed Alonzo away from me. “This is a private party.” “I’m the owner of this club.” Alonzo reached for my arm as he glared at Aaron. “I came in to make sure my guests were satisfied.” “Everything was cool until that bitch tried to diss my wife!” said Aaron as he took my other arm and matched Alonzo’s glare. “And now here you are trying to mack on her!” Just as I found myself in the middle of their tug of war, Alex sat our drinks down and came over to us. “Mr. Banks, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to upset Mrs. Jones! I didn’t know who she was!” Chico and Meeka joined the group as Alonzo turned his attention toward the waitress. “Alex, it doesn’t matter who a customer is. You don’t disrespect anyone in my club. And her name is Ms. Wallace,” he corrected her. Alex’s eyes grew wide as she looked at me. “You’re Ms. Wallace?! But…” “It doesn’t matter who she is,” Alonzo pointed out. “Alex, you’re outta here.” “Excuse me?” Alex acted like she caught a case of hearing loss. “I’m outta here?” Chico stepped in. “You heard the man. You’re fired! Get your shit and get out!” “Chico!” Meeka and I exclaimed. “Sorry, ladies,” Chico apologized. “You see the difference between them and you?” said Aaron to Alex. “These women are respectful young ladies. Unlike yo’ trick ass!” Alex attempted to swing on Aaron but Chico caught her before she could get her hand to connect. As Chico dragged Alex to the door, Aaron looked around the room at all the staring eyes. “Everything’s ah’ight, y’all. Gon’ back to the party.” As everyone did as Aaron asked, Alonzo turned his attention to my fiancé. “I think you may want to leave, too.” “What the fuck for?!” Aaron exclaimed. “As the owner of this club, I have the right to refuse service to anyone,” Alonzo explained peacefully. “Nigga, you jus’ mad that my girl don’t want yo’ punk ass!” said Aaron. “Don’t be a sore loser, man. You haven’t known her long enough to get into her heart like I am. Me and my girl are forever. Ya hear me? This is eternal.” Keeping his composure, Alonzo looked at me. “Rachael, can we talk?” “Nigga, I told you.” Aaron pulled me to him as he sneered at Alonzo. “She’s with me and you’ve said enough.” “Aaron!” I hissed. “Sit down and drink your Hennessy. Go hang with your boys while I go and talk to Alonzo for a minute. I’ll be right back.” Before Aaron could object, I kissed him softly on the lips. Not waiting to hear Aaron’s protests, Alonzo followed me out of the VIP room. Once we were out in the club, Alonzo tried to kiss me but I turned my head. “Rachael, please.” Alonzo looked around. “We can’t talk out here. It’s too noisy. Let’s go to my office. It’s quieter and more private.” He attempted to take my hand but I snatched it back. “Alonzo, I don’t have anything to say to you.” “But I have plenty to say to you,” said Alonzo as once again he took my hand. This time, I let him lead me to his office. As we walked, a couple of bouncers nodded their heads at Alonzo. I looked at him to see that he was nodding back. Before Alonzo closed his office door, a bouncer positioned himself outside. I have to admit that I was getting nervous. “Alonzo, what do you have to tell me?” Alonzo took both of my hands in his. As he looked down at my engagement ring, he said, “I’m sorry.” Taking my hands back, I said, “You’re sorry? That’s all you can say about lying to me?” I walked over to his black leather couch. As I sat down, I continued, “How could you, Alonzo?!” Alonzo joined me on the couch. “You weren’t supposed to find out that I was in Chicago, Rachael.” Without looking at Alonzo, I asked, “Did you ever go to San Antonio?” “Yes. That first night, we went down to S. A. and signed Santiago. The next day I got an idea so we jetted up to Chi-town,” Alonzo explained as he inched closer to me. “I was in San Antonio when I called you that first night. I didn’t expect the group to sign that fast and since me and Chico expected to be outta town for a minute, we figured we’d see what was poppin’ in Chicago.” “And you couldn’t tell me that because?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest. “I wanted to surprise you with the idea I had. I didn’t expect Chico to call Meeka from the hotel and blow our cover,” Alonzo explained. “Why didn’t you just call me and tell me you were in Chicago? What if I had an emergency at Forté and called you at the hotel in San Antonio and they tell me you checked out days before?” I asked with concern. “I had my cell phone and you know you can reach me anywhere on it.” Alonzo tried to soften my mood with his mischievous smile. “Don’t give me that cute smile, Alonzo. I was so pissed at you that I…” “Told Aaron you’d marry him?” I looked down at the ring. “Yes.” Alonzo moved close enough that he and I could cuddle. As he held me in his arms, he said, “Well, I’m back now. You can tell Shorty that we had a misunderstanding but now we’re back on the same track.” I stood and walked toward the door. “It’s not that easy, Alonzo.” Alonzo stood and walked over to me. “Why not?” “Boo…” Alonzo turned me around to face him. “Rachael, you don’t have to marry him. Not if you don’t want to.” My silence wasn’t what Alonzo expected. “You don’t want to marry him, do you?” he asked anxiously. “I didn’t expect him to throw an engagement party tonight. I thought we were just going out to go to dinner. I was gonna strike a deal,” I explained. Alonzo raised an eyebrow as he surveyed my outfit. “What kind of deal?” “I was going to suggest to Aaron that he and I get married and after a year, we get the marriage annulled and each get $250,000.” “I thought you get $100,000 regardless.” “We do, but I don’t think Aaron will want to wait four more years for $100,000 when he could just wait one year for $250,000.” Alonzo thought over my idea. “So, you’d still marry him but you’d divorce him in a year?” “We’d get the marriage annulled, Boo,” I corrected. “We won’t be having sex so the marriage would never be consummated.” “I seriously doubt he’ll go for that, Rachael. Hell, I was feenin’ for you when I left you at the airport! I haven’t seen you in a few days and…” Alonzo pulled me into his arms. “You can just imagine how much I need you now!” “Are you suggesting that I consummate the marriage?” I asked nervously. “HELL NO! I mean, let’s not get carried away!” Alonzo shouted. “I don’t see why you even have to get married. If it’s about the money, you’ll be making way more than that by working with me and Chico.” “It’s not about the money. But Aaron wants to go legit and that money would come in handy. And after a year, we’d each get $250,000.” I lay my head on Alonzo’s chest. “Put yourself in his shoes for a minute, Alonzo. Which would you prefer?” “Whether I was in his shoes or mine, I would choose to be with you.” I kissed Alonzo and headed toward the door. “I guess I have an idea of how the conversation will go. I think I’ll go and have that talk with him now.” “You’re still going through with this?” “It depends on Aaron at this point.” With my hand on the doorknob, I turned to Alonzo. “If I go through with the marriage, will you be here in a year?” “Like ya boy said,” Alonzo said as he patted his heart. “This is eternal. I’ll wait as long as it takes until you come back. I love you, Rachael Wallace.” With tears streaming down my face, I said, “I love you, Alonzo Banks.” Before I was totally overcome with emotion, I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and walked out of Alonzo’s office to go back to my fiancé. 15 And It Feels So Good… I could see relief washing over my fiancé as I walked back into the VIP room. “For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to send my boys out to go and look for you,” Aaron said as he hugged me close to him. “You OK? Did you leave him crying when you set him straight?” “Not exactly.” I looked around the room. It looked like there were twice as many guests as before. “How long do we have to be here? It’s getting crowded.” “Oh! You want me all to yourself? That can be arranged,” said Aaron devilishly. “Speaking of arrangements, when do you want to start planning for the wedding? With this being your most favorite time of the year, I think we could manage a Christmas or New Year’s Eve wedding. It’s a bit short notice, but I think we could pull it off.” I managed a weak smile at Aaron’s romantic suggestion. “That’s what I want to talk to you about. So can we go now?” “Well, we are the guests of honor,” Aaron pointed out. “Can you wait for another hour?” “That should be fine.” From the corner of my eye, I spotted Meeka heading for the bar. “I’m going to mingle with our guests. I’ll be back.” Leaving Aaron with a quick peck on the cheek, I went to talk to my friend. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned around and saw me. “Rachael!” “Hi. I’m surprised to see you here.” “I’m surprised to see me here, too. I got an invitation by courier this afternoon. When I saw that it was an engagement party for you and Ron, I had to be here for you.” Meeka set her drink down on the bar. As she hugged me close, she said, “I saw you leave with Zo. Is everything OK?” “Yeah. Or at least it will be.” I looked into Meeka’s eyes. “I need you to do me a favor.” “Sure. Anything,” said Meeka. “What’s up, Girl?” “I want you to be my Maid of Honor.” “What?! You want me to… Oh, Rachael!” Meeka hugged me tighter than my dress did! “Yes, I’ll be your Maid of Honor when you marry Zo!” “Shh!” I put my hand over Meeka’s mouth. “No! Not Alonzo. Aaron.” “Damn!” said Meeka with a pout. “I was hoping that you and Zo left to kiss and make up.” “We’re back on track but there’s a slight delay until we do the kiss and make up thing,” I smiled. “So you’re going through with marrying Ron?” When I nodded my head, Meeka leaned close to my ear. “Is it the money or the sex?” I snapped back in surprise. “Meeka!” “I figure those are the only two things that would keep you from the love of your life. Either it’s the money that Ron’s grandma is leavin’ y’all or Ron is better in bed than Zo.” “Girl, you’re a trip without the luggage!” My friend and I snickered and giggled as we took our time getting back to her table where Chico was sitting alone. “Took y’all long enough,” smiled Chico as Meeka handed him his drink. “So what’s the story? Are you and my baby brother back on speaking terms or is this party for real?” Meeka answered, “Oh, Boo, this is for real. Baby Girl and Ron are tying the noose… I mean knot.” We all laughed at Meeka’s slip of the tongue. “You were right the first time,” said Chico. I looked back at my table to see if Aaron was looking for me. Sure enough, he had his eyes locked on me. He mouthed the words “I’m ready to go” as he nodded his head toward the door. Turning back to my friends, I announced, “Well, I hate to cut this short but it looks like we’re leaving. Got some things to discuss with Mr. Jones. Meeka, I’ll call you tomorrow with the details.” “If I don’t call you first,” Meeka said as she hugged me. “Chico, take good care of my girl tonight. I’m gonna need her for the wedding.” “I’ll take care of her tonight and forever,” Chico said before passionately kissing Meeka. I left the lovebirds to join my fiancé. Aaron rose slowly as I made my way through the crowd. After hugging and greeting various members of the Jones clan, I finally reached Aaron. “I thought we had to stay for a while.” “I changed my mind, but first I have a surprise for you,” said Aaron as he pulled me in close for a kiss. After he pulled out my chair, he said, “Have a seat, please.” Just as Aaron and I sat down, Kris, Devin and Jay walked up to the bar. As Devin and Jay balanced it, Kris stood on a barstool and shouted over the noisy guests. “Excuse me? Can I have your attention, please?” Once everyone quieted down and looked at Kris, he began his speech. “I would like to be the first to say congratulations to my boy Ron on getting engaged to his lady.” After the applause and cheers died down, Kris continued, “And I am proud to say that Ron has asked me to be his Best Man.” More cheers and applause. “I just don’t know when I’ll be called to duty, so I will pass the floor to my boy. Ron, when’s the wedding?” All eyes were on us. Aaron stood up and proudly announced, “Saturday, January 4, 2003.” As the crowd screamed and yelled congratulations, I stared at Aaron in disbelief. Without waiting for him, I headed for the door. I barely heard him yelling my name as I walked out of the room. He caught up to me just as I reached the lobby. “Rachael, wait! Where are you going?!” I spun around to face Aaron. “How could you do that?!” “What?” Aaron asked innocently. “How could you make that announcement without discussing it with me first?!” I snapped back furiously. “Well, I assumed…” As I held up my hand, I said, “See. There’s your problem. You assumed. Don’t you know that when you assume something, you make an ass outta yourself?!” “Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t talk it over with you first, but I looked at a calendar earlier today and that date just stuck in my head.” Aaron pulled me close to him. As he nuzzled my ear, he said, “I got caught up in the moment. Can you forgive me?” Aaron gave me the cutest puppy dog face. It was the same look he always gave me when he tried to get me to give in. In all the years I’d known Aaron, I could never refuse that man! “Yeah. This time. But don’t make it a habit to do something that involves me without consulting me. OK?” “I promise,” said Aaron as he took me by the hand and pulled me close. As we started to walk over to the coat check, Alonzo stopped in front of us. “Leaving so soon?” Alonzo asked while looking directly into my eyes. “Yes,” answered Aaron as he attempted to divert Alonzo’s attention. “We’ve got a long night of celebrating ahead of us, don’t we, Baby?” Aaron nibbled on my ear, which caused me to giggle because it was one of my tickle spots. When I quickly glanced at Alonzo, he didn’t seem upset. Probably because he knew it was one of my spots, among many others. “I hope you enjoyed your evening here at Upscale.” Taking my hand and bending down to kiss it, just as he did the night we met, Alonzo continued, “Remember, Ms. Wallace, you are a VIP so feel free to come back anytime.” Before I had a chance to respond, Aaron pulled me away from Alonzo toward the coat check room. After retrieving my coat, Aaron nearly dragged me to the front door. When we were outside, I said, “I hope you’re not scared of him.” “Who? The jolly black giant in there? Hell, naw!” protested Aaron. Just then, the limousine pulled up in front of us. Aaron helped me inside like a true gentleman. He told the driver to take us to 7291 Kirkwood Road. As the driver headed toward our destination, Aaron used his cell phone to make a quick call. Curiously, I looked at Aaron. “And why are we going to your house?” Aaron held up one finger to ask me to hold on until he finished his call. “Hey, it’s me. Is everything ready? … Naw. I’ll handle that. … Cool. Thanks. … I will. … Good night.” After he hung up the phone, Aaron kissed each of my hands. “Rachael, it’s our house. Big Mama left it for the both of us. Besides, you said you wanted to talk. Why not there?” I wasn’t quite prepared to talk about the deal just yet. It may have already been a dead issue since he had already announced the date of our wedding to most of his friends and family. I didn’t think I’d be able to convince him not to marry me at that point. Right at that moment, my stomach grumbled. Putting his hand on my stomach, Aaron asked, “Rachael, did you eat anything tonight?” “I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” I frowned. “Mmm, I can’t leave my Baby Girl hungry. I guess I’ll have to cook when we get home.” “You? Cook?! I have to see this!” The entire time Aaron and I lived together, I did all of the cooking. Aaron’s idea of him cooking meant we went to his boys’ cookouts to get barbecue. Hell, I never even saw him so much as boil water for Ramen noodles! “Yes, I can cook. Big Mama taught me.” Aaron pulled me closer to him. “She taught me when I first started telling her about you. She said that the way to a woman’s heart was through her cooking. And since I talked to her about you 24/7, she knew I was hooked on you so she taught me everything she knew including your favorites, lasagna and fried chicken wings.” I thought back to my first dinner at Big Mama’s house with her and Aaron. We had fried chicken wings, homemade biscuits, sweet corn and peach cobbler. He swore up and down that he had cooked the entire meal by himself, but I didn’t believe him. I’m still convinced that Big Mama cooked everything that night. “Well, this is the Show-Me-State!” I declared. “You’re gonna have to show me that you can throw down in the kitchen,” I stated. As the limousine pulled up in front of the house, Aaron said, “I bet you’ll kiss me in the morning for what I’ll cook for you tonight.” “Your cooking is so good that I’ll come back just for a kiss?” “No.” Aaron held my chin in his hand and kissed me. “My cooking is so good that you’ll stay tonight just to see what I’ll cook!” I smiled as I thought back to a similar comment that I made the night that Alonzo and I first made love. Smiling at Aaron’s challenge, I said, “We’ll see about that.” Aaron got out of the limo and held out his hand to help me. The air was nippier than earlier in the evening. As I looked up at the sky, Aaron tipped the driver and thanked him for his services. “It looks like it’s gonna snow,” I commented as I stood on the sidewalk outside Big Mama’s house. “That would be perfect!” exclaimed Aaron as he slid his arm around my waist. Confused, I looked at Aaron. “How’s that?” “It would add to the romance of the evening. A candlelit dance by the window as the snow gently blankets the city,” said Aaron as he squeezed me tight. Slowly, we walked up to the door. With each step, my heartbeats increased in number. Why am I so nervous? I’ll have dinner, talk him into canceling the wedding then go home. Nothing else has to happen. When we walked into the house, we were met by the scent of strawberries. The entire living room was illuminated by red scented candles. “How did you keep the candles lit?” I asked. “You’ve been gone for hours, but the candles look like they were just lit.” “I confess,” said Aaron as he took off and hung up my coat. “My aunt Erica was just here. I asked her to stop by and light the candles and to bring some food over for me to cook for you.” So that was the phone call that he made in the limo. “You sure you didn’t get her to cook something for you?” I teased although I didn’t detect any hint of a pre-cooked meal. Aaron hugged me from behind and snuggled his head on my shoulder. “You really don’t think I can cook, do you?” “I’ve never seen anything to prove otherwise.” Aaron took my hand and led me to the kitchen. On the counter lay a single white rose, a bag of groceries and a note. After he read the note, Aaron handed it to me along with the rose. Aaron, I hope I got everything you asked for. Good luck, Baby! Aunt Erica PS: Let Rachael know that this was all your idea! Aaron opened the bag. “Good, she got everything.” When he went to the refrigerator, he pulled out a bag of shrimp. “See? I have everything I need to make Shrimp Fettuccine.” “I have to see this!” I planted myself on a barstool while Aaron took all of his ingredients and placed them on the island countertop. “Let me know if you need help with anything. Perhaps I should boil the water for the fettuccine. You do know you have to boil it first, right?” I teased. “Woman, I got this!” Aaron gave me a big smile before he kissed my cheek. Will these damn butterflies just go away?! “Well, is there anything that I can do?” I offered. “You can put on some music, Sexy” Aaron suggested. “Aunt Erica should have dropped off some CDs when she came by earlier. She said we might want to use them for the reception and that she knows someone from her church that can DJ for us.” I walked into the candlelit living room. Unable to clearly focus on anything, I turned on a table lamp. The CDs were on the coffee table next to a card that was addressed to Aaron and me. “Aaron, there’s a card in here for us!” I shouted toward the kitchen. “Go ahead and open it,” he shouted back. I opened the envelope. When I pulled out the card, something fell out and floated to the floor. What I picked up was a check for $10,000. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. The outside of the card read, “Congratulations to the newly engaged couple.” Inside, it said, “May all of your days be more blessed than the days before.” It was signed by Erica, Marlene and Dianne. In the memo line of the check, it read “For your wedding day… GOOD LUCK!” After looking through the CDs and selecting some music, I took the card and check into the kitchen. As I sat back down on the barstool, holding up the check, I said, “Look what your aunts left for us.” Aaron stopped cooking long enough to glance at me. “Trust me. There’s more where that came from. My aunts have been saving money for us to get married since the day I told them I wanted to marry you!” As he held out a fork with fettuccine noodles and shrimp on it, Aaron walked over to me and said, “Try this and tell me what you think.” Hesitantly, I tasted the sample. It was surprisingly good! “Mmm. Aaron, I didn’t know you could cook like that!” “Yes, you did. You just didn’t want to believe it. Dinner will be ready in a minute.” Aaron lifted my chin and kissed me. “I love you.” “Love you, too.” I looked at the clock. It was nearly eleven. “Are you sure we should be eating so late?” Aaron looked at the clock then back at the food. “That’s up to you, Baby. If you don’t want to eat now, I’ll save it for tomorrow.” I looked at the feast that Aaron had prepared for us. Along with the Shrimp Fettuccine, he also had garlic bread, Caesar salads and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. “No, don’t do that. You’ve gone through so much trouble…” “No trouble at all. Not for you.” Aaron took my hand and led me to the dining room. After he held out my chair for me, he lit two candles on the table. “Are you comfortable?” “Actually, these pumps are getting to me,” I confessed. Aaron knelt down and slowly took off my thigh high stockings and pumps. I sat patiently as he massaged my feet. “How’s that?” “Much better. Thank you,” I admitted as I relaxed in his hands. “Nothing but the best for you, Rachael.” Aaron rose and went to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he returned, Aaron served wine, salads, garlic bread and Shrimp Fettuccine. With the soft music and good food, I felt more comfortable being alone with Aaron. Gathering up my courage, after dinner I decided to broach the subject of my deal. We moved to the living room couch. As dinner settled in our stomachs and the romance of the evening took over, I tentatively said, “Aaron?” Taking my hands in his, Aaron replied, “Whatever it is, the answer is yes.” “You may want to hear me out before you say that.” Aaron turned to fully face me. “I’m all ears. What’s up?” “I’ve been thinking about us getting married and…” “So have I, Baby. I was thinking about that date I announced at the party. January isn’t that bad a time to get married and we can honeymoon in Barbados or the Virgin Islands. Nothing like sun and sea for a winter vacation, huh?” Aaron kissed each of my hands and looked hopefully into my eyes. “And we can go back every year for our anniversaries. That is until we start our family.” “Aaron,” I interrupted. “Please let me finish.” “OK, Baby. Go ahead.” “Alright now. Hear me out before you say anything.” Aaron nodded his head in agreement. “According to the will, we will each get $100,000 if we don’t get married.” Sensing that Aaron was about to protest, I put a finger to his lips. “But if we get married and stay together for a year, we get $500,000. Right?” Aaron sighed. “Yeah, that’s right.” “Here’s my proposal.” I squeezed Aaron’s hands. “We can get married. But if a year passes and I want out, we annul the marriage after we get the money. You get $250,000. I get $250,000. I don’t want alimony. We just go our separate ways. Agreed?” Aaron’s smile completely faded. Slowly, he rose from the couch and went back into the dining room. I followed him to find him clearing the table. Hesitantly, I asked, “Aaron? What do you think?” After he walked into the kitchen and placed the dishes into the dishwasher, Aaron turned and asked, “Is that why you’re marrying me? Because of the money?” Realizing that Aaron took what I said the wrong way, I said, “No, not at all, Aaron. I’m marrying you to keep my promise to Big Mama and to keep you happy. I’ve always wanted you to be happy, but you’ve got to want the same for me.” “I’m only happy when you are happy, Rachael.” Aaron turned on the dishwasher before he walked back into the living room. When I entered the room, he was sitting on the couch. He looked up at me with hurt in his eyes. “This is about that nigga at the club, ain’t it?” Guilt was written all over my face. “His name is Alonzo and… I love him.” “Just a few minutes ago, you told me you love me.” “I do love you, Aaron.” “Just not as much as you love him.” I couldn’t even respond to his statement. Aaron stood and walked to the large picture window at the front of the house. Large snowflakes quietly fluttered down onto the ground. “Rachael, let me ask you this. If I hadn’t dissed you when you visited me in jail, would you be with him?” Aaron inquired. “Or the whole situation with Mr. Napoli?” I didn’t even have to think about that. “I would’ve faithfully waited for you. I was your girl, Aaron and you threw me away like I wasn’t shit!” “I told you why I did that!” Aaron yelled as he turned to face me. Fear gripped my body and prevented me from moving. “I thought I was gonna do some serious time. I didn’t want you to be locked down with me. Me on the inside and you on the outside. I know you would’ve waited for me, Rachael. I never doubted that. But I wanted you to do better for yourself. I was just weighing you down.” “No, you weren’t, Baby,” I said as I walked over to Aaron. Taking his hand in mine, I led him to the couch. After we sat down, I embraced him. “You’ve always supported me if I ever did anything. I just didn’t push myself to do more.” “Rachael, do you realize that you’ve barely called me ‘Baby’ all night?” said Aaron. “But I have to admit that I’m just glad you’re talking to me.” I stopped and thought about it. He was right. Except outside the limo, I hadn’t called him Baby tonight. Ever since the day we started dating, I always called Aaron “Baby”, except when I was pissed at him, which was rare. Holding his face in my hands, I said, “I’m sorry, Baby. I guess I kept myself guarded because I didn’t want my heart to get attached to you just to get hurt again.” “I understand. I was wrong when I said what I said then,” Aaron pointed out. “But that was then. This is now. I don’t expect you to forget what I said. I just want us to focus on the here and now and to think positively about our future together.” Aaron took my hands in his, raising my left hand. “I’ve wanted to marry you for quite a while, Rachael. I just didn’t think that I deserved a good woman like you. But after talking to Big Mama when I got out of jail, I realized that it didn’t just matter if I thought I was good enough. I cared about whether or not you thought I was. Big Mama pointed out that you were always there for me. She said that you wouldn’t have stuck by me if you didn’t love me or think I was worthy of your love. That’s why I want to marry you, Rachael. I know that you love me. You may have lost respect for me for what I’ve said or for what I’ve done, but I will spend the rest of our lives regaining your love and trust. With our love, I know we can make this work.” By the time Aaron finished his testimonial, tears were streaming down my face. “Baby…” was all I could manage to say. We held each other as my tears flowed. The next song on the CD was Chico DeBarge’s “Til Tomorrow”. Slowly, Aaron and I stood up and swayed to the music. I hummed along to the song. Aaron, however, sang along with Chico DeBarge. Lover, if you leave me, I’ll go crazy. I still care… I still care for you… Aaron got his wish. We shared a candlelit dance by the window as the snow gently blanketed the city. After our dance, Aaron led me to the master bedroom. There were candles of various scents, shapes and sizes all over the room. As I stood in the doorway, Aaron lit each candle before he stepped into the master bathroom and ran a bubble bath. When I followed him to the bathroom, I saw a CD player sitting on a shelf. Aaron grinned at me and pressed PLAY. Marc Nelson’s voice flowed from the speakers as he sang Lady In My Life. As the music began to play, Aaron pulled me fully into the bathroom and slowly took off my dress, letting it fall to the floor. He proceeded to take off my lace thong and helped me into the warm tub of bubbles. As I sank into the foam and Marc’s smooth voice floated to my ears, Aaron prepared to give me a bath with peach scented body wash and a loofah sponge. There’ll be no darkness tonight. Lady, your love will shine. Aaron took the loofah, dropped a couple of drops of body wash on it and lathered it up. Just put your trust in my heart. Meet me in paradise. He gently scrubbed my arms and my back. Girl, you’re every wonder in this world to me. The loofah glided over my long legs. A treasure time won’t steal away. Up and between my legs, stopping just short of… So, listen to my heart. Lay your body close to mine. Let me fill you with my dreams. I can make you feel alright. Back down to my ankles… And baby through the years, even when we’re old and grey, I will love you more each day cuz you will always be the lady in my life… Singing along with the song, Aaron finished bathing me as the music continued. Think back to my tenderness. Let’s make this a night we won’t forget. Girl, I need your sweet caress. Oh! Reach out to a fantasy. Two hearts in the beat of ecstasy. Come to me, girl! I will give you more in the shadow of the night. Let me fill you with my dreams. I can make you feel alright. And baby through the years, even when we’re old and grey, I will love you more each day cuz you will always be the lady in my life… Aaron took the opportunity to kiss me. As Marc sang his chorus, I allowed myself to get lost in Aaron’s tender caresses. He started at my neck, kissed my Scorpio pendant on my silver chain, and down to my perky nipples. He practically immersed himself in the tub as he kissed down toward my belly button. Just before his cheek and ear dipped into the water, Aaron stopped and looked at me. “Rachael, I love you. I never meant to hurt you. I want you to stay with me tonight.” There it was. That look of eternal love and devotion. Slowly, Aaron rose and held out his hand to help me up. After I stepped out of the tub, Aaron wrapped me in a soft body length towel. Lovingly, he patted me down. When I was dry, he looked into my eyes as he wrapped the towel around me. “Will you stay with me tonight?” “Yes,” I said breathlessly. I took Aaron’s face into my hands and kissed him, dropping the towel to the floor. Aaron picked me up and carried me to the bed as we continued kissing. When our lips finally parted, he went back into the bathroom to get the CD player. After he placed the radio on the dresser and programmed the songs, he slowly undressed himself. When Aaron pressed PLAY, Brian McKnight’s Only One For Me played. There we were. Both totally exposed, physically and emotionally. I took in Aaron’s full naked frame. Jail does a body good! His arms and chest were more defined than before his arrest. Even his legs looked more muscular. I couldn’t stop my jaw from dropping open. Was it my imagination or was that bigger, too? “I take it you like what you see,” Aaron grinned. Eventually, I looked into Aaron’s sexy hazel eyes. “Understatement.” “Duly noted.” Gradually, we climbed onto the bed while he sang the lyrics. I want you now. I’ll show you how I can be the man you need me to be. I’ve been around but now I’ve found that you’re the only one for me. Aaron hovered over me. The closer he came to touching me, the faster my heart beat. By the time our bodies touched, I was sure I’d have a heart attack! “You seem nervous,” he commented. “I-I am,” I confessed. Aaron sucked on my neck. In a voice an octave lower than usual, he asked, “Why?” “I-I d-don’t know.” Slowly, he moved down between my breasts. As he played from left to right and back on my nipples, tingles surged through my body. I felt like I did the first time Aaron and I made love. Exposed and vulnerable. Leaving my nipples fully erect, he flicked his tongue down my torso to my belly button. Each stroke of his tongue tickled me. My stomach sucked in further with every touch. As he continued south, he left soft kisses everywhere. The lower he went, the closer his mouth and tongue inched toward my clit. My hands found their way to the back of Aaron’s head, urging him downward to kiss my lips. His warm tongue was welcomed inside my moist walls. He didn’t hesitate to lick every drop inside and out until I was close to the edge of ecstasy. Just as my sexual urges were being aroused and fulfilled, I felt the need to return the favor. “Come here,” I whispered. Aaron rose up so that we were face to face. After I licked myself off his lips, I pushed him onto his back and kissed his most sensitive sexual spots. I started at the back of his ears, working my way down to his nipples. His muscular chest rippled as I gently ran my fingernails down his torso. I kissed my way down to the tip of his penis. When “Oooo, Baby” escaped from his lips, I slowly wrapped my lips around his manhood. The more I took in, the larger it seemed to get! I went as far as it would go in without choking me. I never could get all of Aaron in my mouth but that never stopped me from trying. I licked and sucked him like a dripping ice cream cone. Aaron was just about to explode when he flipped me over onto my back. Realizing that the real fun was about to begin, I put my hands on his chest. “What’s wrong, Baby?” Aaron asked. Shaking my head, I said, “Nothing’s changed, Aaron. You still have to put on a condom.” “Rachael…” Aaron looked at me to see if I was serious. “But we’re getting married!” “We’re not married yet,” I pointed out. “Besides, I’m not ready to be a mom yet. I just turned twenty-one.” Sighing heavily, Aaron reached over to the nightstand, opened the drawer and pulled out a fresh box of Trojans. When he saw the surprised look on my face, he said, “I was hoping we wouldn’t need them, but I got them just in case. Rachael, you do realize that you and I have never had unprotected sex… Ever!” “I know, Aaron. That’s why we don’t have any extra worries in our lives.” After Aaron opened the wrapper, I reached for his hands. “Aaron, do you love me?” Aaron looked at me with deep love and affection in his eyes. “With all of my heart.” As he scanned my body from head to toe, he put on the condom. “Let’s do this!” Throwing my legs over his shoulders, he entered me with such force that I nearly had an orgasm at penetration! If I hadn’t stopped him, Aaron would’ve pumped me like a jackhammer! “Slow down, Baby. I’m not going anywhere,” I assured him. Smiling, Aaron did as I requested before he almost totally pulled himself out of me. “Rachael?” Surprised that he wanted to talk at a time like this, I said, “Yes?” As he slowly pumped in and out, Aaron said, “Whose… is… this?… Whose… is… this?…” With each pump, I came closer to climaxing. The only response I could stutter was “It’s… yours… Baby… It’s… yours!!!” Aaron flipped me into doggie style position. Assuming my usual pose, I pushed my hands on the headboard to keep it from banging against the wall. “Whose is it?” he roared. “It’s yours, Daddy! It’s yours!” “Whose is it?!” Aaron was so deep in me it became difficult to form words. All that could be heard were my screams of passion matching the banging of the headboard. “Say my name, Baby! Say my name!” he encouraged. “A-A-AARON!!” “Whose pussy is this?!” “It’s yours, Aaron! Aaron, it’s all yours!” And with that outburst, I’m sure the whole neighborhood knew whose pussy it was! 16 Me and Mr. Jones… Good sex does one of two things to me: I get extremely hungry or extremely sleepy. Let’s just say that you could’ve mistaken me for a hibernating bear I slept so damn long! Luckily for me, my body woke me before I slept the entire day away! When my eyes focused on the digital clock on the nightstand, it looked like it read 2:06 PM. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock again. 2:06 PM. “Damn! I’m late for work! Fuck that! Cedric’s gonna fire my ass!!” I flew into the bathroom and turned on the shower before running back into the bedroom. “I’m over here at Aaron’s and all I wore was that slinky dress. I don’t have time to go home and change. FUCK!” Suddenly it hit me. Cedric gave me an extended vacation for my birthday which allowed me to transition to work at Forté, Inc. with… Alonzo… A wave of guilt hit me as I thought back to the night I’d just spent with Aaron. Not even 24 hours after I said I wouldn’t have sex with Aaron, I had sex with Aaron. If I don’t get a grip on this now, this plan will never work! As I let myself fully become conscious, the smell of honey and brown sugar bacon and cheesy eggs hit my nose. “Mm-mm-MMM!” I said as I walked back into the bathroom. Leisurely, I took my shower as the fully recalled memory of last night came to my mind. Although it started out like old times, by the third time we made love, Aaron slowed down and took his time. It was as if he was trying to make each and every second that we spent together something that neither of us would ever forget. Just as I turned off the shower, I heard Aaron calling for me. “Rachael? Breakfast is ready! There’s a dress for you on the bed!” I stuck my head out of the bathroom door. “I’ll be there in a second!” I looked on the bed and sure enough, there was a navy blue Baby Phat dress and matching shoes. Well, at least I won’t walk away from here looking like a hoochie. With the aroma of bacon urging me on, I quickly brushed my teeth and got dressed. When I walked into the kitchen, I was met by the sight of Aaron in an apron. I tried to hold back my chuckle for fear that he wouldn’t feed me. When I couldn’t hold the giggles any longer, he turned around. “I would say ‘Good morning’, but we’re well into the afternoon,” Aaron pointed out before kissing me on the lips. “So, good afternoon, Mrs. Jones.” “Good afternoon, Mr. Jones,” I replied. “How long do I have to wait to get some of that bacon?” “We can eat right after I get a kiss.” Aaron puckered up his lips in anticipation. I gave Aaron a quick peck on the cheek. “Where’s my plate?” “Oh, no you don’t!” Aaron pulled me close and gave me a real kiss. As my head spun, he said, “Now you can have your plate. Go. Sit.” When I didn’t move to his commands, Aaron added, “Please?” “Much better,” I said as I sat at the kitchen table. “I knew Big Mama taught you better than that.” Aaron came to the table with two plates of crispy honey and brown sugar bacon, cheesy hard scrambled eggs and fluffy buttery pancakes. “I’ve got Mrs. Butterworth’s and Aunt Jemima.” “You know I’m a one syrup kinda girl. Give me Mrs. B!” Aaron blessed our meal before pouring me a tall glass of pineapple-banana-orange juice. “Are you trying to spoil me?” I asked. “A girl could get used to this.” “Rachael, you can have this and so much more. All ya gotta do is say yes,” he sang. “Damn, Baby! I can’t believe this is happening!” “What? Us eating together?” I said before taking a bite of my bacon. I purred in satisfaction as the combination of bacon, honey and brown sugar danced on my tongue. “No,” Aaron said as he took my left hand. “You and I are finally getting married.” I looked down at my hand in Aaron’s. I loved the way the light shone on that one-carat solitaire diamond. “Yes, we are.” Aaron looked up at me. “Have you thought about a date?” “Well, I don’t really see anything wrong with January 4th except that it’s next month,” I pointed out. “Thanksgiving was just last week. Christmas and New Year’s will be here before you know it. You picked the first Saturday after the New Year. Will anybody be around to be at the wedding?” “Rachael, the only ones that have to be at our wedding are you, me and the minister.” Aaron kissed me softly before returning to his plate. “So January 4th is cool with you?” “Yes, that’s fine. Meeka already agreed to be my Maid of Honor. I don’t have many female friends so I won’t have a bunch of bridesmaids.” I frowned as a thought came to mind. “I wonder if any of my family would come.” Aaron got up and picked up the cordless phone. “Call them and find out.” “Aaron, you know how they are and how they feel about you.” “Rachael, you are that woman’s only daughter. I’m sure your brothers would want to see their baby sister get married. Even if it is to me. Of course they will be there… if you invite them. Here.” Aaron handed me the phone. Reluctantly, I took the phone and placed it on the table. “I’ll call them after we finish eating.” “Fine.” We ate in silence until a phone rang. Both of us looked at the cordless phone, but it wasn’t ringing. Then I realized that it was my cell phone ringing in the next room. Excusing myself from the table, I went into the living room where I left my purse. By the time I opened my purse and took out my cell phone on the last ring, the call had already gone to my voice mail. I looked on the caller ID to see that it was Alonzo who had called. Before I went back into the kitchen, I put the cell phone on vibrate. “Did you catch the call?” Aaron asked as I came back into the kitchen. “No. It went to voice mail,” I said as I sat down. Aaron took one last bite of eggs. “Damn, I’m good!” “Gee, you’re modest.” I ate a bite of my eggs. “Baby, you’re right. You are good!” “Thank you,” said Aaron as he rose to put his plate in the sink, running water over it. “I’ll get the dishes when we get back.” “Get back? Where are we going?” I asked in confusion. “To your apartment. We need to start moving you in here.” Turning to face Aaron, I repeated, “Moving me in here?” “We are getting married, Rachael. No sense in you paying rent on an apartment that you won’t be living in. Plus, I think it’ll be a bit easier for you to get dressed if your clothes were already here, ya know? I have no problem if you wanna take your credit cards back. Shop for the honeymoon and the house…” As Aaron continued talking about our future together, I looked at him in disbelief. The gravity of the situation hadn’t hit me until that moment. Aaron was right. We were getting married. We’d even set a date. Why was I so against going forward with this? Because I still love Alonzo. I guess I figured that if I kept my old life going that when my year of marriage was up with Aaron, Alonzo would take me back. Even though he said he’d wait, I couldn’t realistically expect him to do it. The more I sat there letting Aaron’s words sink in, the more I became conscious of the fact that Alonzo and I could never be. I had loved Aaron once. I still did. So why couldn’t this work? I decided to put Alonzo out of my mind and focus on committing myself to Aaron. “You’re right, Baby. Let’s go get my stuff. No time like the present.” “That’s my Baby Girl!” Aaron took off his apron as he looked out the kitchen window. “The snow is so beautiful. Baby, come and see this.” Damn! I forgot it snowed last night. I was too busy getting my groove on to notice! As I looked down at my shoes, I said, “Aaron, I don’t have any boots to wear.” “Well, I guess I can carry you out to the truck.” Aaron smiled. “It’ll give me practice for after the wedding when I carry you over the threshold.” Raising an eyebrow, I said, “But you’re supposed to carry me into the house, not out.” “In. Out. Either way works for me so long as you say ‘I do’ on January 4th,” stated Aaron with a grin. “But in the meantime, I’ll go warm up the Denali while you get your coat.” “OK.” I put my plate in the soapy sink water and looked outside at the snow-covered backyard. As I gazed out at the serene wintery scene, a vision entered my mind. Two boys throwing snowballs at each other. Aaron joins them in their snowball fight. After a few minutes, I call them all in to have hot chocolate. I was brought back to reality when Aaron kissed the nape of my neck. “Ready to go?” he asked as he held up my coat. We walked toward the front door as I put on my coat. True to his word, Aaron carried me to the truck. Once I was comfortably inside, he walked around and got in. “Rachael?” I looked at my handsome fiancé. “Yes, Aaron?” “I love you.” I answered Aaron with a soft kiss. I looked back at the house as we drove to my apartment. Now I pictured our little family in the front yard. Our boys are playing in the snow, making snow angels and a snowman with Aaron and me. As I took Aaron’s hand, he kissed mine and said, “I think I could get used to this, too.” A wave of guilt washed over me as I thought about Alonzo. There’s no way he’ll take me back if I go through with this. I’ve already cheated on him by sleeping with Aaron. Maybe it’s best that I just let him go. For good. Tears rolled down my cheek as Aaron squeezed my hand in his, humming along to the song on the radio. 17 Facing the Truth… When we pulled into my apartment’s parking lot, I was thankful that I didn’t see Alonzo’s Escalade. Even though he wasn’t home, my heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing him. Then horror gripped me. I was coming to move out and my fiancé was with me. I really didn’t want a confrontation between the two of them in the parking lot so I asked Aaron to come up with me. “I was gonna do that anyway. Besides, I didn’t see his truck, Rachael,” Aaron pointed out as he parked in my designated spot. “Even if he was here, he knows we’re getting married so there’s no reason to hide me. You can give him your key, get your stuff and be gone. With my help, you’ll get out that much faster.” I looked up at the building toward my window. “You’re right. Let’s get this over with.” I waited while Aaron got out, walked around to my door and opened it for me. Just as we reached the front door, a pounding bass beat caught our attention. I turned to see Kris pulling into the lot. Surprised to see Aaron’s friend, I asked, “Why is Kris here?” “I asked him to help us out,” Aaron said as he took my hands in his. “I don’t want my beautiful wife picking up a single thing. Kris and I will take care of everything.” Aaron softly kissed my lips as Kris joined us. “Wuz up, Ron? Baby Girl, looking stunning as always.” I blushed at the compliment. “Hello, Kris.” “Thanks for helping out, man,” said Aaron as he and Kris nodded at each other. “No prob, man. Let’s do this.” I punched in my security code to let us into the building. When the doorman saw me come in with two men that were not Alonzo and Chico, he gave me a peculiar stare. Keeping his eyes on Aaron and Kris, the doorman said, “Afternoon, Ms. Wallace.” As we continued walking toward the elevators, I smiled. “Afternoon, Albert.” Just as the doors were closing, I saw Albert pick up the phone. I could’ve sworn I heard him say, “She’s here, Sir.” Instantly, I brushed the thought from my head. Moments later, we were in my hallway. Beside my door was a bouquet of white roses and a card. Thinking that Aaron had sent them, I said, “Oh, Baby! You shouldn’t have!” “I didn’t,” said Aaron as he knelt down to pick up the card. He handed it to me. “They’re from him.” I looked at the bouquet. There were at least two dozen roses. After I picked up a single rose, I put my key in my door. “Aren’t you going to take them in? Or at least read the card?” asked Aaron as he handed it to me. Picking up the vase, he finished opening the door for me. After Aaron and Kris walked into the apartment, I opened the envelope. On the front of the card was Garfield with hearts all around him. The front read: “I just love…” I opened the card and read the inside. It said: “LASAGNA!!! Oh! And you, too!” Alonzo wrote something a bit more personal: Rachael, I know you’ve made your decision but I will wait until the end of time for you to return to me. Love always, Alonzo A single tear tried to escape my eye, but I stopped it before I stepped into the apartment. I was met by the aroma of garlic and tomato sauce. Damn! Was my Garfield card a scratch ‘n sniff or was someone cooking lasagna in my apartment?! As I closed the door, my heart began to beat a mile a minute. I went to the kitchen to check the oven. Inside was a fresh pan of lasagna! At the kitchen table were two place settings, complete with champagne glasses and candles. “We’re gonna start taking your stuff downstairs, OK?” Aaron kissed me on the cheek before looking at the table. “See, he’s fine. He’s already moved on to someone new.” Aaron’s words were like a knife in my heart. Had Alonzo moved on so quickly? No! He loves me! He did this for me. My favorite meal. My favorite flowers. Even my favorite cartoon character! He did all of this because he loves me. And how do I repay his love? I get engaged to someone else. Not to mention… Aaron came from my room, his arms full with my clothes. Kris was behind him holding several shoeboxes. They put everything on my couch. Just as they headed back for round two, I heard the front door open and close followed by the touch tone beeps as the security code was reset to STAY. “Rachael, are you home?” called the familiar deep male voice. To my stunned surprise, Alonzo walked through my kitchen door! “Hey, Baby!” he exclaimed. Alonzo put down the bottle of Möet he was carrying to give me a hug. “So how did your talk with Aaron go last night?” Aaron emerged from my bedroom and stopped short when he saw that I wasn’t alone. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Aaron asked heatedly. “I have a key,” said Alonzo as he looked from Aaron to me. “What’s he doing here?” Before I could answer, Aaron took my door key from his pocket and tossed it at Alonzo. “Here. She won’t be needing it anymore.” After catching the key, Alonzo brought his eyes back to me. “You’re moving out?” When I saw the hurt and pain in Alonzo’s chocolate brown eyes, I couldn’t speak. I could barely keep my eyes on him. “Yeah, she’s moving out,” replied Aaron as he held out his car keys. “Kris, start taking her clothes down to the Denali.” Kris did as he was ordered while Alonzo continued to look at me. “You were just gonna leave without warning… without a goodbye?” He sounded so hurt! “Alonzo…” He held up his hand. “Don’t bother to explain. I shouldn’t’ve expected you to come back as if nothing changed. You’re engaged. You’re moving on with your life.” “But…” I began to apologize but Aaron turned me to face him. “See? I told you. He’s over you.” “That’s not true!” I protested. “We just…” “Broke up?” Aaron finished for me. “You chose me over him. He’s being a big man and admitting defeat. Right, Alonzo?” Alonzo took my hands. “I wish you nothing but happiness, Rachael.” Without another word, he walked out the door. I was torn between chasing after Alonzo and dropping to the floor in tears. If Aaron wasn’t there, I would’ve run after Alonzo. Then again, if Aaron wasn’t there, Alonzo never would’ve left. I decided to hold my emotions in check. “Did you get everything?” I asked as I pasted a smile on my face and turned to face my fiancé. “You may want to check for yourself,” said Aaron as he gestured toward my bedroom. When I entered the room, a hint of Alonzo’s cologne, CK1, caught my nose. I went to my closet to see if anything else needed to be taken. Nothing. I checked the dresser drawers. Empty. Except for a pair of winter boots for me to change into, Kris and Aaron cleaned me out completely. “I didn’t see any of your Vicky’s,” said Aaron, referring to my Victoria’s Secret lingerie. “I didn’t use them here,” I replied with a grin. “They’re at…” I looked up when I realized that I was talking to Aaron. No point in telling him about my sexcapades with Alonzo. Aaron pulled me close. “Don’t worry. We can stop by the mall and pick up all the latest pieces Vicky has in stock. OK?” “OK,” I whispered back. Kissing me softly, Aaron said, “Let’s go.” Holding my hand, Aaron led me away from my apartment. When we reached the elevator, my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID before answering. “What’s up, Meeka?” “Zo called over here talking ‘bout you movin’ your shit out. Tell me he’s lying!” she snapped. “I’m moving in with Aaron at the house Big Mama left us. You can have the apartment.” I hoped that Meeka caught my change in tone. I was trying to imply that I wanted to keep the apartment available in the event that things didn’t work with Aaron. As Aaron and I stepped onto the elevator, I said, “You can come over later to the house to talk about the wedding.” “I’ll be sure that Zo keeps the apartment but are you sure you want to do this, Rachael?” Good! She understood. “Zo doesn’t want you to go through with this. Hell, Chico’s trynna talk him out of going back over there and beating the shit outta Ron!” “Everything’s fine, Meeka. If you need me to, I can give you directions to the house.” “I know how to get there,” said Meeka. “Is there anything you want me to tell Zo?” Looking at Aaron as we stepped out of the elevator, I said, “Yes, I love him.” Aaron smiled back, no doubt thinking I was professing my love for him. “I think he needs to hear it from you, Rachael,” Meeka giggled. “But I’ll tell him and I’ll meet you later.” “Give me about an hour to get the house together,” I said as Aaron and I walked past Albert. I waved with a smile. This time, I got no reaction from the usually conversational doorman. Before we reached the door, Aaron said, “You stay here while I pull the truck to the door.” This momentary break from Aaron’s watchful eye and all-hearing ears allowed me to speak freely. “Meeka, is Alonzo there yet?” Sounding confused, Meeka said, “Girl, are you psychic? He just walked through the door. Hold on.” After a brief pause, Alonzo was on the phone. “Hello?” “Boo, I can’t talk long,” I explained as I faced the front door and watched for Aaron to return. “I wanted to tell you about me moving out but I didn’t expect you to be here at this time of day. I figured you’d be at the club or out with Chico. But I just wanted you to know that I love you and I didn’t do this to hurt you.” “Rachael, I know what you’re doing,” said Alonzo. “He didn’t like the ‘take the money and run’ plan so you’re going with the ‘stay married for a year then take the money and run’ plan. I just made it look like that was what you really wanted. But just say the word and I will come and get you.” Tears came to my eyes. “Boo, I don’t know what to say.” “Say you’ll come back to me in a year or less and it’s all good. Or better yet, call off the wedding.” “You’re not mad?” I asked cautiously. “I’ll be mad if you don’t come back.” As I wiped tears from my eyes, I said, “I will be back.” “I love you, Rachael Wallace.” Just as I was about to return the sentiment, Aaron walked up to the door. “Love you, too,” I said quickly before hanging up the phone. Since he didn’t have the security code, Aaron couldn’t come in. I held my coat closer to me and walked out into the crisp afternoon breeze. “Miss me?” “Always,” said Aaron as he walked me to his truck. In his newly acquired gentlemanly fashion, Aaron held the passenger side door open. When he got in the Denali, he asked, “What do you want for dinner?” “Whatever you cook is fine,” I hinted. “Well, I did shrimp last night. Maybe we could do fish? You haven’t had my fried catfish and homemade hush puppies. Trust me,” Aaron said as he leaned over to kiss me. “After dinner, you’ll want to marry me tonight!” Aaron pulled out of the lot, followed by Kris. Before going to the house, he stopped at a Schnucks grocery store to pick up catfish nuggets, cornmeal and a bottle of chardonnay. While Kris unloaded my belongings from the Denali, Aaron took his dinner ingredients into the kitchen. Aaron checked the time before he joined Kris in the family room to play video games on his PlayStation 2. “Give me an hour and I’ll get dinner started,” Aaron said with a kiss to my cheek. “Boys and their toys,” I said as they settled down to whoop each other. Just as I was about to call Meeka, there was a knock at the front door. I looked through the peephole. It was Meeka! “Girl, I was just about to call you!” I exclaimed. Before she could respond, I asked, “How did you get over here? Is everything OK?” “Chico brought me,” she said as she gestured toward the driveway. “No. Everything is not OK. What’s going on, Rachael? One minute Zo wants to rip Ron a new one. The next minute he’s as calm as a lamb. What did you say to him?” Afraid that Aaron would overhear our conversation, I grabbed my coat and stepped outside with Meeka. “Let’s talk in the car. I don’t want Aaron to hear us.” I followed Meeka out to Chico’s Tahoe. Chico was inside listening to Eminem’s “Cleanin’ Out My Closet”. “Hey, Baby Girl,” said Chico. “Or should I call you Mrs. Jones?” “OK,” I began as I settled into the backseat. “What do you two know so far?” “All I know is that you’re going through with marrying Ron even though you love Zo,” said Meeka as she hopped in next to me. “I know everything,” replied Chico. Meeka looked at Chico in disbelief. “What do you mean you know everything?” “Zo has kept me up on the whole situation from the jump,” Chico pointed out. “Baby Girl is only keeping a promise. After a year, she’s going back to my brother.” “Even though I’m in love with Alonzo and since Aaron still wants to marry me and won’t hear of anything else, I’m going through with the marriage.” “He still wants to marry you knowing that you really love Zo?” asked Meeka. “Yes,” I said matter-of-factly. “Does he think he’s gonna make you fall back in love with him during this year of marriage?” Meeka inquired. “And what if you get pregnant? Will Zo take you back with Ron’s kid in you?” “MeMe, stop worrying,” I suggested. “I still love Aaron but I love Alonzo more. If I didn’t have Alonzo’s blessing to do this, I wouldn’t even think of marrying Aaron! Besides, you can’t just turn off your feelings. I loved Aaron before he got locked up. Even on that day he pissed me off when I came to visit him in jail. I just loved him a little less each day and allowed myself to love Alonzo a little more each day. But I need your help. Are you still gonna be my Maid of Honor?” “Girl, you know I’ll be there for you,” said Meeka. “I’ll fake it for the fake wedding, but I’m going all out when you and Zo do it for real!” I smiled at the thought. “Well, let’s focus on the here and now,” I encouraged. “Aaron and I decided to get married on January 4th. I figure the sooner we tie the knot, the sooner I can get back to Alonzo.” “I feel ya. Yeah, that’s cool,” said Meeka. “Can I pick my own dress? I mean you can choose the color but I want to pick the dress. And where are you gonna get married? Ron don’t strike me as the church type so I doubt he has a church and minister in mind.” “I’m letting Aaron plan the whole thing,” I stated. “He’s already decided to go to Barbados for our honeymoon. Since it’s such short notice, I’m not expecting too many guests at the ceremony. But as my friend, I would love for you to be there, TaMeeka. I’ll understand if you wouldn’t want to be there, Chico.” “Count me in,” said Chico. “I would love to see my Baby in a fancy dress.” “You wanna see me in a fancy dress so damn bad, buy me one,” said Meeka, teasing her man. “Ah’ight, bet. We’ll go to the mall right after this lil meeting,” Chico challenged. “Whateva, Chico.” Meeka rolled her eyes at her boyfriend before turning her attention back to me. “So the bottom line is that you are only marrying Ron to keep your promise to his dead grandmother. You don’t necessarily want the money but you’re gonna stay with Ron for a year and end up with $250,000 after the divorce. Then you can go back to Zo. Is that right?” “By George, I think she’s got it!” mocked Chico. “That’s the plan,” I stated. “Well, that leaves only one thing for me to do,” said Meeka. “What’s that?” I asked. “Plan your bachelorette party!” As a devilish grin crept across Meeka’s face, Chico said, “Let me guess. From the look on your face, you wanna have a bunch of drunk women throwing money at strippers dressed up like cops and firemen.” “Actually, I hadn’t thought of that, but thanks for the idea, Baby!” Meeka and I laughed knowing damn well that strippers were exactly what she had in mind! “Seriously, Rachael, when do you want to have your party? The night before the wedding?” “No. I was thinking we should do it the weekend before the wedding. That way if I get a hangover, I’ll have a week to recover.” “I feel ya, Girl,” agreed Meeka as we slapped hands. “Ah’ight then. I’ll plan the party for the weekend before the wedding. I’ll make all the arrangements since that’s what Maids of Honor are supposed to do. Gon’ back in there with your fiancé before he starts looking for you. I’m surprised that boy don’t have one of those house arrest bracelets on yo ass!” Just as I looked toward the front door, Kris came outside, walked to his Grand Cherokee and drove away. “TaMeeka, tell me it’ll all work out in the end.” “Rachael, it will all work out in the end. Trust me.” I stepped out of the Tahoe and ran back into the house. Just as I entered the door, I heard Aaron calling my name. “Yeah, Baby?” I answered. Aaron met me in the living room. “There you are! Where were you? The house ain’t that big for you to get lost in it.” “I was outside talking to Meeka.” Aaron took my hand and led me to the kitchen. “Well, while you were outside, your husband was preparing to create tonight’s feast. I wanted to know if you wanted to help me cook or just chill and watch TV.” I looked at the time. It was almost six o’clock. I still had plenty of time before Sex and the City or Soul Food came on, so I decided to see if Aaron could top last night’s dinner. Less than an hour later, I was wrapping my lips around mouth-watering fried catfish nuggets, buttery corn on the cob, and hush puppies. If I hadn’t watched Aaron the whole time, I would’ve sworn he snuck out to Mother’s Fish and picked up the entire meal! As Aaron promised, dinner was delish! The hush puppies were homemade with a Jiffy cornbread mix sweetness to them. And the catfish! Oh, the catfish! Each nugget melted in my mouth like buttah! I had to give my man his props! “Aaron, remember when you said something about your cooking making me want to marry you sooner?” Aaron smiled in anticipation of my next words. “Too bad we already set the date because, Baaaaby, this is good!” “The date can always be changed,” Aaron stated as he took my hands in his. “Just say the word.” “I like the date we set,” I said as I stood to clear my place. “Speaking of dates, Meeka and I decided to have my bachelorette party the weekend before the wedding. Are you having a bachelor party?” “Me and Kris were talkin’ ‘bout that earlier,” said Aaron as he cleared his place. “If we do anything, we were thinking of doing it the night before the wedding.” “The night before?” Thinking back to my reason for leaving space between the party and our wedding day, I said, “But what if you get a hangover. You want to show up at the wedding tore up?” “We would have the party here at the house. That way when we crash, we’ll already be here,” Aaron said as he started to fill the sink with water and dish soap. “Don’t worry, Baby. We’ll be responsible and we’ll clean up before we come to the wedding.” “I hadn’t even thought of that! The house will be trashed when we come back!” “No it won’t because by the time we get back, the house will be spotless,” Aaron promised. Puzzled, I looked at Aaron. “How’s that?” “Let me tell you my wedding plan,” Aaron said as he turned off the water before drying his hands and leading me to the family room. “Like I told you, while you were outside with ya girl, Kris and I were knocking out the plan for the wedding. We figured it like this.” As we sat on the sectional couch, Aaron picked up a notebook with what looked like a step-by-step plan written on the open pages. “Right now, all we have to do is get our gear together. I was thinking black and white or maybe peaches and cream, but I didn’t know how you felt about the colors so I had to wait on you for that. But Kris and I called around to a few tuxedo places and found some deals for short notice weddings. Most prefer to have some time to plan so Kris and I are making it as simple as possible. We figure that he and I will be the only ones needing tuxedos. We won’t have a ring bearer since Kris and Meeka can hold the rings. I just have to pick up the rings before Christmas.” “Wow!” I exclaimed. “It sounds like you two have thought of everything. Is there anything I can do?” “Show up and say ‘I do’,” Aaron said with a kiss. As Aaron went back to his notes, an uneasy feeling came over me. “Aaron?” Aaron looked up at me. “Yes, Rachael?” “I don’t think you should have your bachelor party so close to the wedding day. I just have a bad feeling about it.” Aaron pulled me close and held me tight. “Rachael, it won’t even be a real party. It’s just gonna be me and the fellas having a few brews and probably watching a game. I told Kris to keep it simple since I’m marrying the girl of my dreams the next day.” Aaron turned my chin toward him. “I love you, Rachael. Nothing will keep me from marrying you. Nothing and no one.” “So what am I supposed to do while you have your party?” “Maybe you and Meeka can hang out. Or you could go over to Aunt Erica’s house. She called me ten times this morning to talk to us.” “What did she want?” “She was asking all sorts of questions about what we were gonna do about the wedding. Since she has no kids of her own, she was thrilled to find out we were getting married and wanted to help out in any way possible,” he explained. “But you’ve got this pretty much settled. Like you said, all I have to do is show up.” Aaron held my chin in his hand. “And say ‘I do’. Don’t forget the ‘I do’.” Just as Aaron was about to kiss me, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. “Excuse me,” I said as I reached for the phone. I looked on the caller ID to see that it was Alonzo. “Hello?” “Hey, Baby. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” “Aaron and I were just discussing the wedding,” I said as I looked into Aaron’s sexy hazel eyes. “Aaron is having his bachelor party the night before the wedding. I have to find something to do that night as well as find a place to stay since his boys are going to crash here, too.” Aaron rose from the couch. “Tell Meeka I said hi.” Pretending that I was talking to Meeka, I said, “Aaron says hi.” “Does he know it’s me that you’re talking to?” asked Alonzo. “No,” I said smiling to myself as Aaron walked out of the room. “So you’ll be free the night before the wedding?” “Yes,” I replied. “Maybe this is fate. I was just thinking that I would love to take you out one last time before you get put under lock and key.” Grinning to myself, I said, “You want to get together and do something that night?” “Yeah!” Alonzo replied enthusiastically. “In fact, I know just what we’ll do depending on the date. Are you still getting married on January 4th?” “Yes,” I said a little dejectedly. “Hmm. Well, I guess I can work around that. All I can say is dress warmly. It may snow again by then,” Alonzo warned. “You do realize that you’ll be getting married in a little more than a month, right?” I cringed at the reminder as the words fell out of Alonzo’s mouth. We were just getting into December and my wedding day was practically around the corner! “I can’t believe I’ll be married so soon.” “And a year later, you’ll be happy again,” said Alonzo. “And I will be, too, when you come back to me.” “You are really amazing. Have I ever told you that?” I said smiling, picturing Alonzo’s double dimpled grin. “Probably, but you can tell me again before, during and after our date,” he hinted. “So what do you have planned?” “Nuh-uh. It’s a surprise,” Alonzo teased. “You go ahead and plan your little wedding while expecting a little something to remember on the night before.” Aaron casually walked back into the family room. He picked up his notebook and sat on the loveseat directly across from me. I continued my conversation. “You know I don’t like surprises.” “Trust me, you’ll love this one as much as you love me,” Alonzo promised. “OK, but if I don’t like it, you know I’ll never let you hear the end of it,” I said, choosing my words carefully in Aaron’s presence. “As long as I hear that sweet voice in my ears, you can say whatever you like,” Alonzo purred. “I will.” “Is he there with you now?” I looked at Aaron as he made notes in his book. “Yes.” Alonzo sighed. “So you can’t tell me how much you love me.” “Not really.” “OK, then. If you love me a little, tell me where you’ll be going on your honeymoon. If you love me with all of your heart and can’t wait to come back to me, say ‘The Big Apple’. OK? Ready? Go.” Smiling I said, “The Big Apple.” Aaron looked up, thinking I was talking to him. “Huh?” Pulling the phone away from my ear, I said to Aaron, “Meeka wanted to know where I loved to do my shopping.” “Oh,” replied Aaron. “That reminds me. We need to get some stuff for our honeymoon. Want to go to New York for a quick shopping spree?” “Sure.” I put the phone back to my ear. “I’m back.” “I love you, too, Rachael Wallace.” “Alright. We’ll get everything straight before then, but I’ll definitely see you that Friday.” Looking directly at Aaron, I said, “I really don’t want to be around when these boys start letting the strippers in here.” Aaron looked up at me and shook his head. “We’re not having strippers.” “Mm-hmm. Sure. And you’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn you’d like to sell to me for a nickel, right?” Aaron smiled and rolled his eyes before going back to his notebook. “I’ll see you later,” I said to Alonzo. “You love me. I love you. I’ll talk to you later.” As I hung up the phone, I tried to conceal the smile that was creeping across my face. “Well, I’ve made plans for the night of your bachelor party. I’ll stay at Meeka’s that night because I don’t want to see the aftermath from the party.” Aaron joined me again on the couch. “Rachael, I told you. It’s not that kind of party.” Once again, a feeling of dread came over me. “In that case, do you have to have a party at all?” “My boys have been wanting to do this ever since they found out that I popped the question,” Aaron replied. “I don’t have to do it, but I figured I better have one last good time before you put me on permanent lockdown.” “Before I what?” I took a pillow from the couch and swung it at Aaron’s head. As he ducked, he tackled me and pinned me to the couch. “If I have to do a life sentence, I want to do it with someone I love very deeply. And that person is you.” Tenderly, Aaron kissed me. “Rachael, I love you. No one else has my heart but you. Trust me, Baby. Nothing bad is gonna happen.” As Aaron and I hugged and kissed each other on the couch, I couldn’t shake the sense that doom was just around the corner. 18 One Last Try… For days before Aaron’s bachelor party, including the day of, I felt uneasy. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I didn’t feel right about the whole situation. After she took her son to her mother’s, Meeka came over to my apartment to spend the night and to be there to help me prepare for the wedding the next day. As I got ready for my date with Alonzo, Meeka noticed my nervousness. “Rachael, is there something you need to tell me?” “MeMe, it’s Aaron,” I admitted. Obviously, I couldn’t hide anything from my best friend. Over the past few months, Meeka and I had grown closer as friends. When I first met her, Aaron kept me so isolated from the world that I had very few friends or acquaintances. Even though she lived down the hall from me, I only saw Meeka in passing. Despite her penchant for gossipy gab, I thought she would be cool to hang with, but I never thought that she and I would ever be friends. Let alone best friends. When I dated Alonzo, he and I would double date with Meeka and Chico. As Meeka and I began to spend more time with each other, we got to know each other better. It turned out that we had a lot in common. But once I’d gotten involved with Aaron again, I thought for sure that not only did I risk losing Alonzo but also one of the best friends I’d ever had. A smile crept to Meeka’s face. “He wants to call off the wedding and you can go back to Zo now?” “No…” Nervously, I ran my hands over each other. “Rachael, you’re scaring me.” Meeka put her arm around my shoulder. “What is it?” “It’s Aaron’s bachelor party.” Meeka jumped up. “Aw, Girl! Every man wants a bachelor party before they tie the noose… I mean knot.” “TaMeeka…” “Besides, you had your bachelorette party last weekend,” Meeka pointed out. “And if you’re worried about him having strippers, you had male dancers at your party so y’all will be even.” “Meeka, it’s not about the strippers,” I stated. “For one, Aaron said there wouldn’t be any, but I know Kris will have one or two stop by. But that’s not why I’m on edge about tonight.” “Is there something specific that’s got you spooked?” asked Meeka. “I’m not trying to say that I’m psychic or anything but I’ve had a terrible feeling about tonight ever since Aaron first told me he wanted to have his party the night before the wedding. Meeka, I can’t put my finger on it, but…You know what? Never mind.” Immediately, I prayed on it and brushed the thought out of my head. Walking to my bedroom window, I watched as a few snowflakes melted when they landed on the window instead of floating to the ground. As I stared blankly outside, I said, “I guess I just don’t like the idea of half naked women all over my fiancé.” “Are you telling me that Zo is fading from the picture?” Meeka inquired with concern as she joined me at the window. “Never!” I exclaimed. “But as long as I’m going to go through with this marriage, I’m going to treat Aaron like he’s my man. And I wouldn’t want any women anywhere near my man, ya feel me?” “I feel ya!” Meeka grinned. “As for the party, don’t worry about it. You had a great time at your party and he’ll have a good time at his.” “I just wish…” “What, Rachael?” I knew Meeka was genuinely concerned when she used my first name. Looking down out at the snow-covered streets, I gathered my thoughts. “I just wish that I was marrying Alonzo instead of Aaron.” “I know. Me, too.” Meeka gave me a sisterly hug. “But remember what you said. If you don’t want to stay married after a year, you’ll get an annulment and go back to Zo.” “Do you think Aaron will let me go, Meeka?” “I know he will because he loves you, Rachael. And he wants you to be happy,” she said reassuringly. “Yes,” I said thoughtfully. “He does.” At the same time the phone rang, there was a knock at my apartment door. “I’ll get the door,” Meeka offered. “You get the phone.” As I picked up the phone, Meeka opened the door to let in Albert, the doorman. He was carrying a bouquet of white roses. Meeka directed Albert to the dining room where he placed the vase on the table. “Hello?” “Did you get my delivery yet?” asked Alonzo. A Joker sized grin spread across my face. “Alonzo! You sent the roses?” “Eighteen white roses. One for each hour I have left to change your mind about getting married to him.” “Oh, Alonzo!” Meeka tipped Albert before sniffing the bouquet. As Meeka read the card attached to the roses, she said, “I shoulda known it was from Zo.” “I don’t want you to forget that I love you and I’m patiently waiting for you to return to me,” Alonzo said. “But I’m warning you, Rachael. If I have to send a bouquet of flowers every day to remind you, I will.” “Boo, you don’t need to remind me that you love me. Your personal cheering section is right here to tell me when you can’t do it yourself.” “I see you also got the ‘Meeka’ that I sent,” Alonzo joked. I couldn’t help laughing. When Meeka asked what I thought was so funny, it just made me laugh even harder. “Are you ready?” asked Alonzo. “By the time you get here, I will be.” “Well, then, you must be ready right now because I’m here.” Just as I heard the click from Alonzo hanging up his phone, there was a knock at the door. He stood outside my door holding a single white rose. “It’s my last time to see you before you become a married woman,” he explained. “And although I’m not in a rush to end this night, I want to spend as much time with you as possible.” As I grabbed my coat from the coat rack by the front door, I looked back at Meeka. “Don’t wait up!” “Don’t worry. I won’t!” said Meeka as she stood by the door. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Alonzo’s surprise was for us to relive our first real date by having dinner at Cunetto’s followed by a drive around the city. We stopped at the playground in Tower Grove Park just as the snow began to fall again. With the engine running to keep the heat going, we enjoyed the silence in the backseat of the Escalade as the flakes quietly blanketed the park. Just as the solitude enveloped us, we were interrupted by my cell phone. “Hello?” “Hello, Mrs. Jones,” said Aaron excitedly over the video games blasting in the background. “Damn! I love the sound of that! Mrs. Jones!” “Not until tomorrow, Aaron.” The sound of Aaron’s name caused Alonzo to groan as he held me tighter. “Check your watch, Baby. It is tomorrow. In fact, in less than fourteen hours, you and I will be Mr. and Mrs. Jones!” Aaron sounded like he was ready to burst! “Can you come home tonight, Baby? I want to wake up seeing your beautiful face.” “Is the party over?” “Yeah. It’s just Kris and me here.” “But Meeka was gonna help me get ready in the morning. It’s late and I know she won’t want to come over tonight.” “P-p-p-p-please,” said Aaron in a Roger Rabbit imitation. Looking at Alonzo, I said, “OK, Aaron. I’ll be home soon.” Immediately, Alonzo loosened his hold on me. “Hurry! I miss my Baby Girl! I love you, Rachael.” “I love you, too, Aaron.” As I turned off my cell phone, I looked into Alonzo’s eyes. Disappointment was written all over his face. “I thought you were staying at your place tonight,” said Alonzo as he took my hands into his. “Aaron asked me to come home,” I explained. “Plus, ever since he told me he wanted to have his party the night before the wedding, I’ve had an uneasy feeling. But now that the party is over, I guess I didn’t have anything to worry about.” “I see.” Alonzo slowly pulled me to him. “I guess I better get you home.” With no excitement, I agreed. Reluctantly, Alonzo took me back to my fiancé. Except for the crunch of the tires on fresh snow, the entire ride back to Aaron’s house was silent. When we approached the house, I noticed that all the lights were off. Aaron’s Denali and Kris’ Jeep Grand Cherokee were parked in the driveway, totally covered in snow. A third vehicle that I didn’t recognize, a blue Honda Accord, was parked in front of the house. “I guess one of Aaron’s boys is still here,” I said as we passed the Accord. After parking the Escalade across the street from the house, Alonzo leaned close to kiss me good night. Since he had his eyes closed, Alonzo didn’t see that I had turned my head. When his lips met my cheek, he snapped back. With a serious look on his face, Alonzo announced, “Three hundred sixty-five.” “Three hundred sixty-five?” I asked, turning to see his face. “Yep. That’s how long I’ll wait. Three hundred sixty-five days and not a day more. On the 366th day, I’m coming for you,” he grinned. I frowned at the thought of Alonzo waiting a year for me to return to him. Taking a deep breath, I said, “I love you, Alonzo Banks.” “I love you, Rachael Wallace,” he replied, gently squeezing my hands in his. “And I can’t do this to you,” I confessed. “You can’t do what, Baby?” Alonzo asked, sounding concerned. “How can I sit up here pretending to marry him when I’m in love with you?! It’s not fair of me to ask you to wait for me to end a marriage to a man that I’m not even in love with!” I began. “And what’s crazy is that I’m trying to keep a promise that I never should’ve agreed to in the first place! Big Mama knew how I felt about you and Aaron. She knew that as much as I loved Aaron, it was best for me to move on.” As I sat in the Escalade, tears rolled down my cheeks. Looking over at the house, I declared, “I’m going in there and calling this wedding off. I never cared about the money and I’m not giving up my happiness just because of my promise. I know Big Mama would understand. I love you, Alonzo.” “I love you too, Rachael.” Just as Alonzo snuck in a quick kiss, we heard two gunshots from inside the house. Instinctively, Alonzo held me back. Once we were positive that we weren’t the ones being shot at, Alonzo said, “Call 911! I’m going inside!” I screamed “Alonzo, NO!” but it was too late. Alonzo had jumped out of the Escalade and disappeared into the dark house. My hands were shaking so bad that I could barely hold my cell phone to dial 911. Once I relayed the details to the dispatcher, I stepped out of the SUV to listen for an ambulance, police sirens or more gunshots. Moments later, a half naked young woman darted out of the house, followed by Kris and Alonzo. As the woman headed for the Honda Accord, Kris reached her and quickly tackled her to the snow covered lawn. Alonzo yelled for him to hold her as he approached me. Once he saw that the woman was subdued by Kris, Alonzo hopped into the Escalade, started it up and turned up the heat. He got out and opened the door for me. As we sat in the heated vehicle, Alonzo asked, “Did you call the police?” “They’re on their way. Is Aaron OK?” Looking at Alonzo’s face, I knew it was too late. Immediately, I broke down into tears. Alonzo held my shaking body as the tears flowed. Once I’d calmed down, I looked at the young murderess struggling under Kris’ grip. As my eyes focused on her face, I gasped. “Alonzo, isn’t that…” Alonzo turned to look at the young woman. It was Alexandra Black, one of Alonzo’s former waitresses. The same waitress that was fired the night of Aaron’s and my engagement party. Before we could confront her, an ambulance and police cars screeched around the corner and headed toward the house. The street was instantly flooded in red and blue lights. Neighbors peeked out of windows or stood in their doorways to see what was going on at 7291 Kirkwood Road. Kris turned Alexandra over to the authorities while Alonzo tried to restrain me from entering the house. Police investigators and paramedics traipsed in and out of the house gathering evidence. In all the frenzy, I figured that I could get in the house to see Aaron, but Alonzo held me back. “I have to see him!” I screamed. “No, Rachael!” Alonzo barely exerted any muscles as he held me to keep me from entering the house. Two detectives emerged from the house and approached Alonzo and me. The younger of the two, Detective Edwards, asked most of the questions. After Alonzo and I gave our names and showed identification, Detective Edwards asked, “Ms. Wallace, how are you related to the deceased?” I nearly fainted at hearing Aaron referred to as deceased. Alonzo caught me before my knees completely gave out. Once I steadied myself, I said, “I’m his fiancée. We were supposed to get married tomorrow.” “Sorry for your loss, Miss,” said Detective Norton, the older detective, looking suspiciously at Alonzo. “And your relation to the deceased?” “None,” Alonzo answered directly. “I’m a friend of Ms. Wallace.” “Mm-hmm,” snorted Detective Norton suspiciously. “Do you know what happened here tonight, Ms. Wallace?” asked Detective Edwards. “Aaron and his friends were having a bachelor party,” I explained. “Was that young woman there involved in the party?” asked Detective Edwards referring to Alexandra who, by then, was handcuffed in the back of a squad car. “I don’t know for sure, but I saw her run out of the house after we heard the gunshots,” I replied. As I continued to give my statement to the detectives, Alonzo kept his distance but was close enough for support. Once the detectives were satisfied with our answers, I was asked to identify the body. Alonzo went with me to keep me steady. “You don’t have to do this, Rachael.” “Yes, I do. Alonzo, if nothing else, he’s my friend.” A heavy chill enveloped my body as I crossed the threshold of the house. Images of Big Mama dying in her bed came to my mind. Slowly, Alonzo and I walked down the hallway to the back bedroom. When I entered the room, I saw what looked like the aftermath of a struggle. The most shocking image was Aaron. His clothes were bloody red where the bullets pierced his chest and stomach. The coroner said that it was the shot to the heart that killed him. His eyes were still open. My first instinct was to run over to Aaron to hold him, but Alonzo and the investigators held me back. Eventually, I was allowed to get close enough to see Aaron’s beautiful hazel eyes one last time before I closed them. 19 ‘Til Death Do Us Part… On the afternoon of what was supposed to be Aaron’s and my wedding day, Detective Edwards visited me. Despite the tragedy of losing Aaron, Detective Edwards gave me some positive news. “Ms. Black confessed to shooting Mr. Jones,” stated Detective Edwards. “She said that she was hired as one of the dancers for the bachelor party. Upset with Mr. Jones because he refused her sexual advances, Ms. Black said that she wanted revenge. According to Ms. Black, when Mr. Jones went to the bathroom, she was snooping around the bedroom looking for money and jewelry when she found a .22 caliber pistol in the nightstand. When Mr. Jones emerged from the bathroom, Ms. Black said that she had the gun pointed at him. She asked Mr. Jones to give her money or she’d say that he raped her.” “Why did she confess?” Alonzo asked. “It sounds like she could’ve made it look like self-defense.” “Mr. Young gave a statement saying that she’d harassed Mr. Jones and himself earlier in the evening,” explained the detective. “When we informed Ms. Black of Mr. Young’s statement, she gave in.” “Mr. Young?” asked Alonzo sounding confused. “Aaron’s friend, Kris,” I filled in. “There’s one other thing, Ms. Wallace,” said the detective. “Our investigators discovered this on the nightstand.” It was an envelope addressed to me. Inside was a letter from Aaron. It took everything in me to hold back my tears. Alonzo rose when Detective Edwards excused himself to leave. He told Alonzo that he’d be in touch if he needed us. As Alonzo escorted the detective to the door, I read Aaron’s letter. January 3, 2003 Dear Rachael, Can you believe it, Baby? Tomorrow’s our wedding day! Baby, I had to take this minute to write my feelings for you. It gets kinda hard for a brutha to express himself with words, but I know you’ll feel my love. Rachael, I’ve loved you since the day I first saw you. Yeah, we were only in the first grade but I told all the boys that you were my girlfriend. From that day forward, all I wanted was to make you happy. I realize you gave up happiness with someone else but I promise you will never regret marrying me, Rachael. I will spend all of eternity making up for all the hurt I’ve caused you by making you the happiest woman in the world. After you read this letter, you can put it in our wedding album or better yet in our son’s baby book. Oh, yeah. I know our first kid’s gonna be a badass boy just like me. But the difference is I’ll be here to help you raise him to be a respectful, strong black man. I’ll never leave you, Rachael. Never… Eternally, Aaron When Alonzo came over to me, I was eerily quiet. “Are you OK?” I shook my head. All I could do was let Alonzo hold me. When I finally found my voice, I said, “Boo?” “Yes, Rachael?” “Remember when I told you I had an uneasy feeling ever since Aaron told me he wanted to have his bachelor party the night before the wedding?” Alonzo remained silent, waiting for me to finish. “Yeah…” “Well, something terrible did happen,” I pointed out. “I think I could’ve prevented the whole thing if…” “Rachael, there was nothing you could do,” Alonzo assured me. As Alonzo’s words echoed in my ears, I couldn’t help how I felt. * * In less than three months, I was attending another Jones Family funeral. Once they were informed of the shooting, Aaron’s family insisted that I remain in Big Mama’s house, at least until the reading of Aaron’s will. “Mama wanted you and Aaron to have the house, Rachael,” said Erica. “It’s only right that you stay here.” “Thank you, Erica. Your family has been the true family that I’ve needed in my life. I pray that nothing ever changes that,” I said as I hugged each of Aaron’s aunts. “Rachael,” said Marlene. “You are a part of this family. No matter what.” Less than a week after burying Aaron, we were all gathered at Mr. Marshall’s office as he was once again was called upon to do the reading of a Jones Family will. He informed us that Aaron had a very simple will drawn up. Since I was the only one named in it, I prayed that Aaron’s aunts wouldn’t change their tune after the reading. Alonzo volunteered to accompany me to Mr. Marshall’s office. As a witness for Aaron’s family, I asked that Aaron’s Aunts Erica, Marlene and Dianne were also to be present. After Mr. Marshall expressed his condolences on our loss, he got right down to business. He called for his assistant, Steven, to bring in a monitor and VCR. Once everything was in place, Mr. Marshall asked him to take notes. Obediently, Steven sat in a chair beside Mr. Marshall’s desk and prepared to take notes of the will reading. “Mr. Jones has made a videotaped will,” Mr. Marshall began. “As I informed Ms. Wallace, she is the only one actually named in the will. However, at Ms. Wallace’s request, Ms. Erica Jones, Mrs. Marlene Daye, and Mrs. Dianne Davidson are also present, correct?” “Yes, Sir,” replied everyone in unison. Steven inserted Aaron’s videotape into the VCR. Just as Aaron’s image appeared on the screen, Mr. Marshall passed a box of tissues around the room. Before a word was uttered, the waterworks were in full effect. “Hello, Rachael. I’m making this will one week before our wedding. Baby, I promise I will re-tape it after we come back from Barbados, but just in case something happens to me between then and now, I wanted you to be covered. I made my will this way because I didn’t want Mr. Marshall to confuse you with all the legal mumbo jumbo. So here goes. “Rachael Wallace, the true love of my life, after Mr. Marshall and all the taxes have been paid, I leave you all of my worldly possessions. At the time of this will, the following are paid for and will be signed over to you: My black 2003 Yukon XL Denali and the house that Big Mama left for us at 7291 Kirkwood Road. “Rachael, I’ve assigned you as the person to receive all the funds in my checking and savings accounts at First National Bank and American Bank in the event of my death. You should have no trouble getting the money. If you do, take Mr. Marshall to the bank with you. They better give my Baby Girl whatever she asks for!” I smiled when I heard Aaron’s voice calling me Baby Girl. “Rachael, you never asked me for much. Just happiness and security. I hope that I’ve been able to provide that for you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I love you!” The screen went black. I looked to Mr. Marshall for guidance. “Is what he said true? Aaron is leaving me his truck, the house, and his money?” “That is correct, Ms. Wallace,” stated Mr. Marshall. Without hesitation, I said, “I don’t want it.” “What?!” exclaimed Marlene. “What do you mean you don’t want it?” Erica came over to me and gave me a motherly hug. “Rachael, you’re just in shock. You just lost Big Mama a few months ago and now you’ve lost your fiancé. It’s a bit overwhelming, I’m sure. I’ll stand by whatever decision you make.” “As will I,” said Dianne as she kneeled beside my chair. Looking from one aunt to the next, I pondered my decision. Finally, I said, “Mr. Marshall, I would like to distribute my bequest as follows…” Everyone looked at me in anticipation of my next words, which I chose carefully. “I want Aaron’s family to have everything.” I looked around the room. The aunts looked like they were all astonished by my response. Alonzo sat back and smiled. “You don’t even know how much money is in his accounts, Rachael,” stated Dianne as she stood. “You could be set for life!” I stood and took Dianne and Erica’s hands in mine. “I don’t care about that. What I do care about is that Aaron’s family is taken care of and right now, this is the best way that I can do that. Please accept this gift. From me. And from Aaron.” After a round of hugs and tears, the aunts each thanked me. Before leaving, I signed a document stating my wishes and I informed Mr. Marshall of where he could contact me. Alonzo and I left the aunts with Mr. Marshall to evenly disburse Aaron’s assets. Once we were out of Mr. Marshall’s office, Alonzo turned to me. “Rachael, are you sure you wanted to do that?” “Alonzo,” I said. “If you and I are going to start over, I want to start with no strings attached.” My boyfriend kissed me softly on the lips. “I love you, Rachael Wallace.” “I love you, Alonzo Banks.” 20 Because Love Never Dies… From time to time, thoughts of Aaron floated into my mind. I only remembered the good things about him. The flowers and cards. The impromptu romantic picnic lunches for two. His beautiful hazel eyes and his baby face grin. I missed him more than I ever thought I would. However, that didn’t stop me from renewing my relationship with Alonzo. After eight months of restoring our connection, I found myself more in love with Alonzo with each passing day. We picked up where we left off, spending every day showing how much we loved each other. It was as if we were never apart. By the end of fall, Alonzo’s talent agency really took off. With Chico as his right hand man and me as his PR princess, Alonzo was on top of the world. A week before Halloween, Chico told Alonzo about a new act that we had to check out. The jazz group was based in Chicago and playing there in a local club during Halloween weekend. Alonzo thought for sure that if Forté could sign on as the act’s agent, along with my budding PR skills, we would take them straight to the top. “Baby, why don’t you come with me to Chicago?” Alonzo suggested. “We can leave after work on Halloween Friday and be back by Sunday afternoon so you wouldn’t miss a thing.” I was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, watching Soul Food, the television series. I’m oblivious to the world when one of my FBA’s (Finest Bruthas Alive) is on the screen. At that particular time, Boris Kodjoe was on the tube. I loved Alonzo to death, but if he can drool over Janet Jackson, I can have Boris. “Baby, did you hear me?” asked Alonzo. Not really because I was still glued to Boris. Alonzo walked over to me and knelt down. When I didn’t immediately turn my attention to him, he picked up the remote control and proceeded to turn off the television. It wasn’t until the screen went black that I realized what happened. “Hey!” I exclaimed, futilely reaching for the remote control. Alonzo grinned. “Now that I have your attention.” “Alonzo, you know Soul Food is my show.” When I didn’t see any concern for my needs in my boyfriend’s eyes, I gently asked, “Did you need something, Boo?” “Your undivided attention.” After I sat and tried to remember if I could catch this episode again (I could on Sunday), I gave my Boo my complete and undivided attention, with thoughts of Boris in the back of my head… I’m human, OK? “You’ve got it. What’s up?” “Remember that hot new jazz group Chico said I should check out? Well, they’ll be up in Chicago next weekend performing at Isaac Hayes’ club. I was saying that we could go up after work next Friday and check into a hotel. Saturday, we go and peep the band during rehearsals. If they sound OK, we’ll hear them live that night then head home Sunday morning. So, how about it? You wanna go with me?” “Sounds like you have this all planned out.” I studied Alonzo’s face. His dimples grew deeper as his smile got bigger. “Do you really need me to go with you?” “Yes.” Skeptically, I looked at my handsome boyfriend. “Since when does PR have to be there at the conception of the deal, Alonzo?” “I want you to see them in the beginning so you can get a jump on their promotions.” “You sound like you want to sign them before you even hear them, Boo.” I rubbed his arm. “What’s the urgency? Is someone else scouting them?” “Well,” Alonzo said as he sat behind me and hugged me close to him. “I just want you there when I make the deal of a lifetime.” I turned around to face my sexy boyfriend. His warm chocolate eyes melted me. “OK, I’ll go to Chicago with you. But do you think we could stick around so that I could get in some shopping? I’ve heard that there are some nice stores up that way.” “Rachael, whatever you want, it’s yours.” Alonzo gently squeezed me. “Baby, this will be a weekend you will never forget.” * * On Halloween Friday, Chico came down with the flu. Meeka wouldn’t let anyone visit him in person for fear that he may be contagious. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick, too?” I asked when I called to check on my friends. “That’s the price you pay for love, Rachael,” said Meeka matter-of-factly. “Go and have a good time in Chi-town. Let me know which stores to hit and take lots of pictures for me so I’ll know what to visit when I finally do get up there, ah’ight?” “I’ll do that, MeMe. You take good care of your man because he’s gonna have lots to do when we sign this group.” “Will do. Go. Have fun. Call me when you get back.” As I hung up the cordless phone, I watched Alonzo finish packing for our trip. “Well, it’s official. Chico and Meeka aren’t going. She said Chico’s too sick to get out of the house.” “Damn!” said Alonzo as he snapped his fingers. “I guess I’ll just have to show you Chicago all by myself, huh?” “And don’t forget shopping…” “Fa sho! You know what they say, all work and no play…” “Makes us rich!” I exclaimed. “Come on. If we leave now, we might hit Chicago before dark.” “Yes, ma’am!” Alonzo said as he took our bags out to the Escalade. Before we hit I-55 North, we stopped at a Shell gas station, filled the tank and grabbed a few snacks for the road. We each brought our favorite CDs, but we mostly listened to the CD that Chico made especially for us in honor of our returning to each other. In all my years of living in St. Louis, this was my first trip to the Windy City. My face lit up when I saw the Chicago skyline highlighted by the Sears Tower. The sunset was beautiful as the last rays of sun danced on Lake Michigan. Alonzo drove around downtown Chicago, pointing out various tourist sites. When we came to Navy Pier, he pulled over and parked. To help stretch our legs after that long drive, Alonzo suggested we go for a walk. Hand in hand, we took our time taking in the local scenery. We stopped when we came to a beautiful fountain. “This is Buckingham Fountain,” Alonzo informed me. “It’s the fountain they used in the opening credits of Married With Children.” “I forgot that show was set in Chicago!” I grinned as I said, “Isn’t Soul Food set in Chicago, too?” “Yes it is, and no you won’t see Lem or Damon walking around here,” said Alonzo before he gently kissed me. Considering we were in the Windy City, I was surprised that I wasn’t frozen by any fierce winds. My South Pole jacket wouldn’t have been any match for that Lake Michigan hawk anyway! Alonzo pulled me close for another kiss. As he gently squeezed me from behind, I looked all around us. The whole scene seemed pretty romantic. Off in the distance, I heard a man playing a saxophone. He had a hat on the ground to collect money from passing listeners. Up above, the full moon illuminated the lake perfectly. “Rachael, can I ask you a question?” “Sure, Boo.” Slowly, Alonzo turned me around to face him. “Do you love me?” Confused, I looked into Alonzo’s eyes. “Yes. Why?” “Remember when Chico and I went out of town to hear that group, Santiago?” “Yes…” I replied hesitantly thinking of how upset I was that Alonzo had lied to me about that trip. Alonzo took my hands in his. “Then we left San Antonio to come up here to Chicago?” I was beginning to get suspicious. “Yeah. You told me you had an idea and decided to come up to Chi-town.” “Right. We were up here in Chicago looking for the perfect place,” Alonzo explained. With a raised eyebrow, I said, “Looking for what?” “The perfect place… for me to do this.” Alonzo knelt down on one knee. Slowly, he pulled a black velvet box from his pocket. Before Alonzo said a word, tears were gushing forth. He opened the box and revealed a two-carat heart shaped diamond set on a platinum silver band. “Rachael Lee Wallace, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?” Without hesitation, I screamed, “Yes! Yes, Alonzo. I will marry you!” As Buckingham Fountain swelled behind us, Alonzo and I sealed the deal of a lifetime with a passionate kiss. To be continued… Following are excerpts from my short story and other books, NEVA SAW IT COMIN’ (short story featured in Red Bud Ave. Publications’ TALES FROM THE LOU) ILLUSIONS: SISTAGIRLZ, BOOK # 2 ~ LAYLA’S STORY UNFORGIVABLE: SISTAGIRLZ, BOOK # 3 ~ ANGELA’S STORY UNEXPECTED DETOURS: SISTAGIRLZ, BOOK # 4 ~ TAMEEKA’S STORY Lm… Excerpt from Neva Saw It Comin’ (short story featured in Red Bud Ave. Publications’ TALES FROM THE LOU) “I wish I could find one faithful man!” my sister Imani lamented as she sulked in the passenger seat of my 2008 Chevy TrailBlazer. Just moments before, she and I caught her boyfriend Vincent Wheeler at his apartment with another woman between his legs. “Damn that!” I nearly screamed as I started the ignition. “No woman should go through this hell! I wish any man that cheats on me drops dead in the other woman’s pussy!” I smirked as I saw Vincent’s half naked body in my rearview mirror as he shouted Imani’s name. Just as Vincent was joined by his female companion, I yelled out the window as I peeled out of the parking lot. “Watch your back cuz if I ever see you around my sister, I’ll fuck you up!” “RAVEN!” Imani exclaimed as a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky. Sudden weather changes in St. Louis didn’t faze me or my driving skills. Instead, I braced myself for the thunder. Not from the storm but from Imani! “How could you say such a thing?!?” “Because this isn’t the first time this has happened to either one of us not to mention countless others, both male and female. I mean REALLY?!? Is it that hard to be faithful to one person these days?” I inquired as a roll of thunder echoed over us. It was at least a decibel lower than my sister! “That doesn’t mean you should wish harm on someone,” Imani stated as she turned on my car stereo. “Remember what goes around…” “Comes around,” I finished, gently swatting Imani’s hand as I turned the radio to Foxy 95.5FM to listen to The Michael Baisden Show. With a raised eyebrow and instantly piqued interest in what my sister was implying, I asked, “So are you saying that you cheated on Vincent?” “No!” Imani blushed as much as a mocha skinned sista could. “I mean that what you put out comes back to you and because I was faithful in my relationships, including with Vincent, the Lord will send me the man that’s right for me.” Holding back a giggle at Imani’s Pollyanna attitude, I couldn’t help saying, “But I thought Vincent was your ‘man sent from God’. Are you telling me you were supposed to be cheated on?” “Raven, you’re twisting my words,” Imani huffed. Seeing that I was upsetting my sister, I dropped the subject and instead focused on the radio show. And wouldn’t you know that today’s topic was about cheating mates! I still wish a man would dare to cheat on me and think he’ll get away with it! Lightning flashed simultaneously as thunder rolled overhead. Deftly, I navigated the chaotic St. Louis traffic to guide us safely to my favorite Steak ‘n Shake location. “It’s my own fault,” Imani said quietly, looking out of the passenger side window. I didn’t respond until seconds later when we paused at a red light. “How is it your fault, Imani? Did you make him put that skank between his legs with her head all buried up in his lap?” My sister looked at me and rolled her eyes, no doubt at my crass choice of words. “I shouldn’t have shown up unannounced.” “Are you fucking kidding me?!?” I shrieked as my anger resurfaced. I nearly peeled out of the intersection the moment the light changed to green. “Raven! Do you have to use profanity?!?” Imani exclaimed in disdain. “Look, you are only a few minutes older than me so quit trying to be Mother!” I snapped back. “And all this hostility you’re throwing at me needs to be directed at Vincent’s cheatin’ ass!” After a deep breath, Imani apologized. “I know my feelings are misdirected. It’s not your fault that Vincent had another woman at his place today. Forgive me?” Pulling into the Steak ‘n Shake lot, I accepted my sister’s apology. “All I can say is Vincent is damn lucky to have had you because his tires would’ve been hella flat not to mention he’d have a few busted windows by now if he was my man!” I said before humming Jazmine Sullivan’s “Bust Your Windows” while pretending to bust the windows on my windshield. Imani smiled sweetly. “I’ll be sure to keep you at the top of my prayer list, Sis.” As we entered the restaurant, you would’ve thought it was a scene from Cheers when the whole bar shouts out “Norm!” except we heard “Raven!” Whenever my office did a lunch run, whoever had the best coupons won and most of those times it was my best friend Monique Clifton with her ever present Steak ‘n Shake coupons. She and I used the absence from the office not only as an opportunity to get away from our desks but also to get some midday flirting in. Who knew fry cooks could be so damn sexy! Moments after Imani and I sat ourselves in my favorite booth, our waitress came to take our orders. “Welcome to Steak ‘n Shake. I’m Aisha and I’ll be your server this afternoon,” she said to Imani. Looking up from her menu, Imani replied, “I need a few minutes but in the meantime, I’ll take a cherry Coke, no ice.” “Sure thing,” Aisha said before turning to me. “Your usual, Raven?” “Put my food order in with hers but I’ll take my shake now,” I smiled. “Thanks Eesh.” “No prob, Ray,” she smiled back. Looking dumbfounded, Imani watched as Aisha walked away. “She didn’t even wait for you to tell her what kind of shake you wanted!” Chuckling, I stated, “Imani, as much as I eat here, I wouldn’t be surprised if they started preparing my meal the minute we walked in and had it finished before we sat down in this booth!” “Oh!” Imani blushed as Aisha returned with our drinks. “Ready to order?” Aisha smiled attentively at Imani after placing her drink in front of her. As my sister ordered her lunch, her cell phone rang. Imani sighed in exasperation after looking at the caller ID display. “Vincent?” I asked without looking up from my banana mocha side by side shake. “Yes,” she replied flatly. Imani’s phone chirped to let her know that she had a voicemail message. “I’m not in the mood to deal with him right now. Ray, since my car is going to be in the shop for another week, I’ll need you to go back with me to get my things.” “Of course, Sis,” I said patting her hand. We ate our late Sunday afternoon lunch and chatted about work, men and our mom, all in between Vincent’s phone calls, voicemails and text messages. Eventually, I reached across the table and turned off Imani’s phone. “Raven, what am I doing wrong?” asked my sister as she pushed away her half empty plate. “The only thing you’re doing wrong is thinking that you are doing something wrong!” I replied. “Up to this point, has Vincent done or said anything to make you think he would cheat on you?” “No,” Imani said, frowning as she looked out the window just as the sun’s rays broke through the grey clouds above. “So why would he suddenly do this? Knowing you have access to his apartment and can walk in at any moment, why would Vincent cheat on you at his place?” I asked, against my better judgment, considering that I had no idea why Vincent would be so foolish! “I don’t really know why, Ray,” Imani said turning her gaze toward me. The pain in her eyes made me want to go back to Vincent’s and make him hurt as bad as my sister was feeling right now. I tried to keep the rest of our conversation on lighter fare but Imani’s thoughts were clearly elsewhere. In an effort to change the subject, I inquired about my sister’s writing. “Are you still doing spoken word at Legacy?” I asked. “Not lately,” Imani half smiled. “With everything being so crazy at work, it’s been hard to settle down long enough to write but I keep my notebook and pen nearby at all times.” “Sounds like me,” I said as I reached into my purse for my writing essentials: a pen and a mini-notebook. As I flashed them for Imani, I imitated the credit card commercial. “I never leave home without them!” It was nice to hear my sister’s laugh. ~♥~ Later that evening as I prepared for bed, I received a text message from an unexpected source. BSTJ74: Hey Beautiful. Whatcha doin? “What the hell?” I said, looking at the cell phone. BLACKBIRD: Nuthin. Goin 2 bed. BSTJ74: Can I be your pillow? Sighing in annoyance, I waited a minute before replying as I thought back to the last time I’d seen Brian St. James. While he seemed to be happy with our Booty Call arrangement, I was at a point in my life where I needed more than the occasional touch of a man and instead desired the security of a stable and faithful relationship. Brian didn’t act like he wanted a full time girlfriend so we parted ways. BLACKBIRD: No time 4 games. U know what I want. U’re not ready. BSTJ74: Who says I’m not? I couldn’t believe I actually got excited from his response!! BLACKBIRD: Don’t play Brian I’d been messing around with Brian for the past couple of years. Since he didn’t act like he wanted a serious relationship, he was the ideal Maintenance Man for me while I was in between boyfriends. Brian was respectful of any situation I was in but no sooner than I’d broken up with my l’amour du jour, any time I got that itch, Brian was there to scratch it! Eventually, I wanted more than just casual sex and, compared to the ones before him, I knew that Brian was the right man for me. But, being the intelligent sista that I am, I wasn’t about to waste my time convincing Brian if he wasn’t already on the same page! Been there, done that. Not playing that game anymore just to get hurt again. BSTJ74: Raven, I need you “You need me?” I said quietly aloud. I got warm shivers from reading those words!! Could Brian be just as ready as I am to be in a committed relationship? BSTJ74: You still there? BLACKBIRD: Yes BSTJ74: Can I come over tonight? BLACKBIRD: 2moro’s betta BSTJ74: After work? BLACKBIRD: Yes BSTJ74: See you tomorrow Beautiful Grinning, I slipped into my queen sized bed with thoughts of a real relationship with Brian. “I wonder if Brian is as good outside the bedroom as he is in it,” I said to myself as I settled into bed, preparing to let the TV lull me to sleep as ideas for our first date popped into my brain. “He said ‘Raven I need you’,” I said as I re-read our text conversation. Finally, I had hope for Brian and me. Shaking my head, making my locs swing back and forth, I came back to reality. Just because he said he needs you doesn’t mean he’s not talking about sex. That was Randy’s line, too, remember? Damn! It’s a good thing my conscience kicked in! I was liable to do the same thing with Brian that I did with my ex-lover, Randy Boorman. No more half-assed relationships, Raven. Either you’re the only woman or you’re nobody’s woman! Smiling to myself, I said, “Amen to that!” Excerpt from Illusions SistaGirlz, Book # 2 ~ Layla’s Story “I swear if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders, I’d lose my head!” Late as usual, I checked my purse and briefcase to make sure I had everything before I set foot outside the door. “Come on, Layla. You have to be on time today.” Once I was sure I had everything I needed for the day, I headed toward the front hall mirror to check my appearance. Taking advantage of a rare Indian Summer day in mid-November, I wore a peach blazer and skirt with matching pumps. While working on my Marketing degree at Harris-Stowe State College, I was headed out into the Real World. Today was my first day of work as the personal assistant to Rachael Wallace, Director of Public Relations at Forté Inc. Meoooowww... I looked down at my ankles. My black kitten, Felix, was curled up in a ball at my feet. As I knelt down to give my furry friend a love pat, I remembered that I hadn’t fed him this morning! “God, I hope You have a good reason for all of these delays! And I hope he’s tall, light, and gorgeous!” I smiled to myself as I envisioned Shemar Moore while I walked into the kitchen to feed my starving kitten. ♥ Just as I came off the 7th Street exit off I-55, only minutes away from Forté Inc. BAM! My driver’s side front tire blows out on me! Although the loud noise immediately startled me, I managed to keep calm and maneuvered my car to keep from crashing into anyone else before I safely pulled over. “DAMMIT! As if I didn’t have enough going on, now I’ve got a flat tire!!! I just got new tires! Oh, God... HELP ME!!!” I lamented aloud as I stepped out of and stood next to my silver 2000 Chrysler Sebring LXi. The car, a high school graduation gift from my father, had the nerve to have a deflated driver’s side front tire on my first day of work! “Need some help?” I nearly jumped at the question because the deep bass voice came out of nowhere. I looked up at my Good Samaritan. Dressed in a crisp charcoal grey business suit with complementary shoes, I wasn’t sure how much he could help me. “Yes, I could use a little help. I just caught a flat and I have no clue how to change it.” OK, so I did know how to change the tire. Elliott Michaels wasn’t about to let his baby girl go out in the world totally defenseless. But I can’t flirt if I don’t have anything for Mr. Brooks Brothers to do, ya know? The gentleman took off his jacket and laid it on the roof of my car. “Do you have a spare and a jack?” he asked. “Yes,” I said as I opened the door and reached into the car to retrieve the keys from the ignition. Normally, I would just lean inside the car window. But, considering the shortness of my skirt added with my long legs, I wouldn’t have left anything to his imagination! When I walked to the trunk, the young man followed me to get the tools necessary for him to carry out his good deed. As he rolled up his sleeves to change my tire, I could feel his eyes scanning me. I pulled my purse out of the car to get my cell phone and Ms. Wallace’s business card. “Please excuse me. I have to make an important phone call.” “Go right ahead,” said the young man as he deftly took off the flat tire and put on the spare. Shortly after dialing the number to Ms. Wallace’s office, I was immediately connected to her voicemail. After sighing in disappointment, I left a message explaining my situation. “Hi, Ms. Wallace. This is Layla Michaels. I’m calling to let you know that I caught a flat on the way in to work. It’s getting fixed now, but I don’t know how long it will take. I will be in as soon as possible.” I flipped my phone closed. Turning to see how Mr. Brooks Brothers was doing, I said, “Excuse me?” “Yes,” replied the gentleman. “Do you know how long it’ll be before the tire is changed? Today is my first day at my new job and, thanks to this,” I said gesturing toward the now worthless tire lying beside my car, “I’m late.” As he stood up, he said, “I’m finished.” Although he had just changed my flat, his suit was still clean. Smiling at his job well done, I opened my purse. “How much do I owe you?” “Dinner would be fine.” His beautiful grey eyes were accented by his warm smile. “Unfortunately, I don’t have dinner with strangers,” I flirted. “I’m sorry,” he said as wiped his hand on a handkerchief before he extended it to me. “I’m Nicolas Hayes.” As I shook his strong hand, I replied, “Layla Michaels.” “Well, Ms. Michaels, may I invite you to dinner and a movie?” I looked Nicolas up and down. At six foot two, a shade darker than my caramel complexion and exceptionally attractive, he was two out of three in the tall, light and gorgeous department. “Where did you want to go?” “My place,” replied Nicolas. When he saw the shocked look on my face, he added, “I have a three-year-old daughter and no babysitter.” “Well, if your daughter will be there, I suppose it will be alright. But I thought you said dinner and a movie.” “I’ll cook dinner. You can bring the movie,” Nicolas explained. “Do you like lasagna?” he asked. My eyes lit up. “Almost as much as Garfield does!” I said enthusiastically. “I suppose I could stop by Blockbuster on the way over. What kind of movie?” “Pretty much anything is fine with me. A comedy would be good,” Nicolas said smiling. “Judging by your beautiful smile, I bet you have a great laugh.” A small smile escaped from my lips at the compliment. “What time shall I meet you at your place?” “Is 7 o’clock OK?” asked Nicolas. “That’s fine,” I agreed. “Want me to bring anything besides the movie?” “Just that pretty smile,” Nicolas flirted. This time, I blushed. “And I know you should be able to make it because your flat has been fixed,” Nicolas added. “This is true,” I agreed. “OK, dinner at seven.” “Well Layla, let me give you my home phone number and address.” said Nicolas as he walked to his midnight blue 2003 Ford Explorer. After he reached inside and pulled out a pen and business card, he said, “If you get lost along the way, just give me a call and I can help you out.” “Just fixing the tire was already a big help, Nicolas,” I said as I reached for the card. When our hands touched briefly, there was a definite spark. “I’ve got to get to work, but I’ll see you tonight.” “Tonight at seven,” smiled Nicolas. “It’s a date.” Nicolas walked me back to my car and opened my door for me. “Get to work safely, Miss. Don’t want you to have any more bad luck on your first day at work.” “I wouldn’t say it was all bad luck,” I smiled. “I did get to meet you, right?” It was Nicolas’ turn to blush. “I’ll see you tonight.” Before starting my engine, I looked in my rearview mirror. I watched Nicolas’ slender frame climb into his Explorer. As I began to pull away, I looked back to get another glimpse of Nicolas, but he was already gone. ~♥~ Excerpt from Unforgivable SistaGirlz, Book # 3 ~ Angela’s Story Tonight, after an argument with Kisha Redman, my girlfriend of the past couple of years, I ran into Angela DeVille, my first love. OK, I more than ran into Angela. I made love to her and realized that I’m still in love with her. It doesn’t help that Kisha and I had been having problems for the past few months anyway and if she thought it through clearly, Kisha could never put our relationship’s current state on Angela. Compared to Angela’s grace and elegance, Kisha was young and immature, a complete 180 from when she and I first met. What attracted me to Kisha initially was her thick body and sassy attitude. She always went for what she wanted and when our eyes met that night in the club, she wanted me. Unfortunately, once she got me, she became lethargic. After she moved out of her parents’ place against their wishes, and moved in with me, she got lazier by the second. She got fired from her job at the clothing boutique, her grades at cosmetology school started slipping and she started picking up weight. When I started hinting that she and I should start working out together, that’s when things shifted from bad to worse. Knowing that we were heading toward the end and that she had no place to go, I offered to take care of the finances so that Kisha could save up her money to move out. That was six months ago and even though she’s only working part-time, I thought she would have some money saved but Kisha had a new excuse every time I brought up the subject of her moving out. When I arrived home tonight, a note addressed to me was sitting on the sofa. I rolled my eyes when I saw the subject line: DEVIN, WE NEED TO TALK “Let me guess. You don’t spend enough time with me, Devin. How can we work this out if you’re never here? Why don’t you make love to me or touch me anymore?,” I said, nearly perfectly imitating Kisha when she would whine about the status of our relationship. Not wanting to rush into bad news, I left the note on the sofa and entered the kitchen to grab a Red Bull. I figured Kisha would be home soon and I really wasn’t in the mood to fight with her but I wanted to quickly send a message to Angela on Facebook before returning to Kisha’s handwritten note. Unfortunately, curiosity killed the cat so I read Kisha’s note first. Devin, I know you keep saying I need to get my money together so we can go our separate ways but it’s just not the right time for us to be apart. You may be done with us but I’m not! We need to try to work this out. Love, Kisha Crumpling up the note and tossing it onto my desk, I hopped on Facebook to send my Baby a message. “Hey, Sexy,” I said aloud as I typed my note. “Kisha wasn’t home when I got in tonight so I didn’t get a chance to tell her yet but I will as soon as she comes through the door. I love YOU Sexy. Just be patient and I’ll be all yours. Eternally, D” After shutting off the computer, I went back into the living room to watch SportsCenter. I nearly dozed off but thoughts of Angela stayed on my mind. I got hard just remembering the touch of her body against mine only a few hours ago. Then I imagined Kisha’s return and the argument that was sure to follow. At this stage of the game, the only time Kisha and I exchanged words was during arguments which were usually followed by passionate make-up sex but right now, Angela’s words were still floating in my head: If you leave her, you know where I am but don’t come back to me if you’re still with her… In fact, if it wasn’t for yet another argument between Kisha and me, I may never have run into Angela tonight. “Look, dammit! I was thick when you met me and you said you liked that in me. What’s so damn different now that you think I need to workout with you?” she snapped earlier that evening. “The thirty plus pounds you put on is the difference,” I pointed out. “It ain’t no fun when you’re riding me and bouncing all that weight on me!” You would’ve thought I’d physically slapped her! Instead, Kisha took a swing at me. Not the type of man to put my hands on any female, I restrained her until she calmed down to talking level. “Kisha, I’m not saying you’re fat. I’m just saying that if you want me to, I’ll workout with you,” I explained, in my last ditch effort to save our relationship. Relaxing her body, Kisha turned to me and pulled me close to her. “I don’t like the gym but I got a better way for us to workout together.” The thought of those heavy thighs clinging to my waist made me shudder! “You know what, Kisha,” I said as I released her grip on me. “I’m going out with the fellas tonight but if you’re still up when I get back, maybe we can do that.” “OK,” she said, deflated. “I’ll have dinner ready when you get back.” Without looking back, I said, “No need. I’ll get something while I’m out. Don’t wait up.” I had to thank God for that argument with Kisha because it unknowingly sent me straight back to Angela. I called up my best friend Marco Ross and told him to meet me at our usual drinking spot. Of all places to run into her, I ran into her there. She was out with her girls, enjoying herself without a care in the world. I almost didn’t recognize her because, like Kisha, Angela got thick over the years except Angela’s thickness was in all the right places! “Angela? Angela DeVille?” I asked as I approached her booth. Her eyes, along with those of the two ladies sitting with her, were locked on me. “Devin Lawson. Long time no see,” she replied coolly. “Yeah, what’s good? I see ya with ya girls tonight but maybe we can get together and have a drink sometime.” I don’t know why I suddenly felt like a groupie trying to get an autograph. Was it because she didn’t introduce me to her friends or the way she said my name? Feeling quite uncomfortable, I excused myself and rejoined my boy. “The Great Devin got shot down?” asked Marco. “Nah, it wasn’t even like that,” I smiled as I looked back at the table of beautiful ladies. “Remember Angela DeVille?” “The-love-of-your-life-Angela? Nah, the name doesn’t ring a bell,” he joked. “That’s her over at that table,” I said before sipping on my beer. While Marco looked for Angela, Kisha briefly crossed my mind but as quickly as the thought came, it went. I didn’t even get the chance to acknowledge Marco’s pokes before Angela joined us at the bar. “Hello Marco. I see you two are still hanging out together,” she said as she sat on the barstool next to mine. In the distance, I watched as her companions left the bar. When I looked back at Angela, her eyes were all on me. “Uh, yeah, I’m still friends with this knucklehead,” Marco laughed alone. I was too busy staring at Angela and her at me for us to notice his tired joke. “I see you two want to be alone so, D, I’ll catch up with you later, ah’ight?” “Yeah, Marco,” I said, still looking at Angela. “It’s been a long time,” she said after Marco’s departure. “Too long,” I replied taking Angela’s left hand in mine, checking to make sure she was still available. After a few drinks, a little bit of catch up time and the exchange of Facebook and cell phone info, Angela invited me back to her place. Considering how we left things before she went off to school, I was surprised at the invitation but I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to spend more time with Angela. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Devin,” Angela confessed as we sat on her sectional sofa in her living room. “Same here,” I said. Before another word was said, we were in each other’s arms, clothes were falling off, a condom wrapper was opened and it was on! When I entered Angela, it felt like I was at home. With every stroke, we grew closer together. The time apart allowed each of us to learn skills that neither of us knew back in high school. I have to say I was very impressed that after all this time Angela was still as flexible as the day we first made love! As we lay there on the living room floor after two hours of “catching up”, a wave of guilt crossed over me. I never told Angela about Kisha! Not wanting this to be a one-time thing, I came clean. “WHAT?!” Angela shrieked. “I just slept with someone else’s man?! Oh my GOD!” Angela picked up her clothes and bolted for the bathroom. Naked, I followed her. “Angela, it’s not what you think. We’re having problems and getting ready to end it soon anyway.” It wasn’t a lie on my part. I’d been thinking of leaving Kisha for a while now. And seeing Angela again gave me all the motivation I needed to leave my dead relationship behind. Through the closed door, she asked, “Then why didn’t you say that before I brought you home, before we kissed, before we fucked?” “Angela!” I was hurt and shocked. “I’ve never ‘fucked’ you. I made love to you.” Opening the door, Angela glared at me. “What’s the difference, Devin? You put on a condom. Your penis entered me. We came. That sounds like fucking to me.” Taking her into my arms, I said, “The difference is that I love you. I love you enough to put on a condom so that you wouldn’t have to worry about an unexpected pregnancy.” “Oh, but you didn’t love me enough to tell me you already have a woman? Not only that but she’s living with you,” she said before pushing me away. “Baby…” “Don’t ‘Baby’, me, Devin. Your ‘Baby’ is at home waiting for you. Go ahead and take a shower. There are towels and washcloths on a shelf in the bathroom.” Before I could respond, she disappeared into the kitchen. While I showered off Angela’s intoxicating scent, I realized that not only was I still in love with her but because of this one act of betrayal, I may have lost her again. For good. That thought alone scared me so bad that I made a decision right then and there. I found Angela still in the kitchen, waiting for a bag of popcorn to finish popping in the microwave. She once told me that whenever she was upset, she’d watch her favorite movies until she felt better. It upset me to think that I was the one making her upset. “Angela,” I started. “The reason why I didn’t say anything about her is because it’s a done deal. She and I are over. I’m telling her when I get home tonight.” “Don’t do that, Devin. Not for me.” Her back was to me as she spoke. The tone of her voice was heavy with the pain of being betrayed. By me. “It’s not for you, Angela. It’s for me.” I walked over to her just as she moved to retrieve the popcorn from the microwave. “I haven’t been happy with Kisha for quite a while and it’s time that I let her go.” “Fine. If you leave her, you know where I am but don’t come back to me if you’re still with her,” Angela demanded. “Do you know why I accepted the one year scholarship at NYU when I already had a full one here at Saint Louis University?” “No,” I replied honestly. “Because I found out that while you were sleeping with me, you were also sleeping with at least three other girls in school,” she stated coolly. “And when I asked if I was the only one, you lied and said yes.” “I wasn’t lying, Angela!” I retorted. “You were the only one I loved back then.” “But I wasn’t the only one you were fucking, was I?” she asked. Unable to dispute the facts, I decided it was time to go but not without pleading my case. “Angela, we were teenagers. I thought I wanted more than one girl but the only one I ever really wanted was you. But you were busy studying or working after school and I didn’t want to interrupt that and since I only saw you when you had the time and that wasn’t enough for me, I found other girls to occupy my time.” “So the fact that I was working and studying made it ok for you to fuck around?” she asked, blinking back tears. “Please don’t use that word,” I said reaching for her face. “You’re too much of a lady to use such language.” When I touched her, Angela softened. “I was so hurt when I heard about it and it didn’t help that when I did have time for you, you weren’t available half the time! Thoughts of you with those girls kept running through my mind and I decided that I’d rather go to school far away than stay here looking like a fool.” “I wish you would’ve said something. True, I didn’t have to sleep around but I didn’t know I was the reason why you left.” I said. “I don’t want to lose you again so from now on, let’s say what’s on our minds and deal with everything together, OK?” “OK,” she said before abruptly pulling away from me. “What about your girlfriend?” “Like I said, I’m ending it with her tonight. Give me a few days to get her settled somewhere and you and I can pick up where we left off,” I smiled thinking back to our sex session of just an hour ago. “No, we’ll start over when you leave her. We left off with you cheating on me. It’s bad enough that now you’re cheating on her. This doesn’t make me feel too confident about our chances, Devin.” “I promise you Angela, once she and I are done, I’m all yours.” I kissed her goodbye and headed back to my condo on a cloud. How many people get a second chance to be with their first love? Just then, my thoughts returned to the present as the front door opened and closed followed by the deactivation and re-activation of the alarm system. I was sitting up on the couch when Kisha walked in. She nearly pounced on me before I had a chance to rise from the sofa. Gently I pushed her away as I prepared to tell her we were through. I thought for sure that this argument would be the most intense one we’d ever had. And because I wanted to be with Angela, I couldn’t even think of makeup sex with Kisha. No matter how much she tried, Kisha just couldn’t take Angela off my mind. The thought of Angela is what snapped me back to reality and gave me the courage to tell Kisha the truth. “I’ll help you get into a place of your own but you and I are done,” I stated as I headed for the bedroom but before I could get my hand on the door, Kisha called out to me. “Devin.” “Yes, Kisha,” I replied politely as I turned to face her. The devilish look on her face didn’t bode well. “I’m pregnant.” Excerpt from Unexpected Detours SistaGirlz, Book # 4 ~ Meeka’s Story I only had one bus to catch to get to the MetroLink, which let me off a few blocks from the apartment. The bus and MetroLink were uneventful. It was the walk home that started my drama. “TaMeeka! TaMeeka!” From behind me came a familiar yet unwanted male voice. I turned to come face to face with my baby daddy, Darius Price. Without hesitation, I turned back around to go home. However, Darius grabbed my arm to slow my roll. “TaMeeka, wait! Aren’t you even happy to see me?” “Not as happy as one of your hoochies would be,” I said as I snatched my arm away before continuing on my walk. “Why don’t you call one of them?!” “Hold up, TaMeeka!” Darius demanded as he stopped me at the corner and grabbed my arm again. “I want to talk to you.” When he slid his hand down to mine, his fingers met with my wedding ring. “Whoa! Who’d you steal that rock from?!” “I didn’t steal it,” I said calmly as I pulled my hand away. “I got married.” “Whaaat? Fa’ real?” Darius said as he put a hand to his mouth. “Oh, dayum! It’s like that, huh?” “Yeah, it’s like that, Darius,” I said smugly. “I have a good man and my son has a good father.” “Demetrius always had a good father, TaMeeka!” Darius replied in a hurt tone. “I did the best that I could for our son.” “Yeah, Darius. You did real good getting your ass arrested, leaving me alone to raise my baby!” I pointed out. “Not to mention all the hoes that called the house looking for you after you got locked up. Thanks a fuckin’ lot!” “What hoes, Chocolate Drop?” Darius asked in disbelief as he tried to pull me to him for a hug. “TaMeeka, you are the only lady in my life.” “Right! That’s why Bianca, Nikki, Kisha and Lisa called for you, cuz they were also the only ladies in your life,” I said as I thought back on the memory. “Not to mention the countless others!” “Aww, Chocolate Drop, I’m sorry. How come you never told me that happened?” Darius asked as I pushed him away from me. “Get your hands off me, Darius! And quit calling me ‘Chocolate Drop’!” I said as I jerked away, throwing myself into the street. Just as I regained my balance, a car was headed in my direction. The driver, who was trying to make the light before it changed, came dangerously close to me. Grabbing my hands, Darius pulled me back onto the sidewalk and into his arms just moments before the car would’ve hit me. As my breathing and heart rate eased back down to normal, Darius said, “You can’t say I never did anything for you, TaMeeka.” I looked up at Darius and almost allowed myself to get lost in his hazel brown contact covered bedroom eyes. He was the epitome of a Bad Boy as he stood there in a white wife beater shirt, baggy jeans, Timberland boots and his hair in cornrow braids. Darius’ arms were always well developed and through his shirt, I could see that his abs were perfectly cut. He was the type of man I always fell for and the same type that always broke my heart. Realizing that I, a happily married woman, was in the arms of a former lover in a public place, I abruptly pushed Darius away from me. Harshly, I said, “Thanks. Now if only you could’ve helped me with my son instead of being a juvenile delinquent.” “Yeah, but you loved that thug life, didn’t cha?” Darius said with a wink. When he flashed a quick grin, I didn’t see the gold caps he used to have on his two front teeth. “When did you do that?” I asked, unconsciously reaching for his cheek. “After I got out, I had them removed,” Darius admitted. “I’m trynna clean up my life, TaMeeka. Not just for me but for you and our son. Every chance I got, I sent what I could to you and the baby. All I wanted in return were pictures.” Darius’ expression softened as he pleaded with me. “I’ve been locked up for two years and haven’t seen my son since the day before I went in. All I know is he’s in the 1st grade, he’s very smart and looks just like you and I got all that from Momz. Just ran into her down at the shop where you used to get your hair done. Do you still go there?” he asked as he reached for one of my shoulder length braids. Swiping Darius’ hand away from me, I stated firmly, “Darius, thank you for helping me just now and back then. But from now on, stay out of my life. Like I said, my son has a good father and I want to keep it that way.” “I’m Demetrius’ daddy, TaMeeka!” said Darius angrily. “I don’t give a fuck if that nigga put a ring on your finger or puts your ass in a mansion. Demetrius is my son and I don’t want him calling anybody else ‘Daddy’! Ya hear me?!” “If another man steps in and helps me provide for my child financially, physically, emotionally and mentally, that man deserves to be called Daddy!” I said before I once again walked away to go home. “Demetrius is my son, too, TaMeeka! Mine, ya hear me?” screamed Darius as I left him on that street corner. Incidentally, it was the same corner where he and I met years ago as teenagers. ** Slowly I turned to see Darius grinning at Meechie and me. “Didn’t I just leave you?” I asked with annoyance. “Yeah, but I wasn’t done with you, so I followed you. And I’m glad I did,” Darius said as he knelt down to our son. “Hi, my name is Darius.” Meechie glared back and said, “Hi, I’m…” I cut my son off by blocking him from Darius’ view. “My son doesn’t talk to strangers. And we’ve got to go,” I said as I took Meechie’s hand and led him to the front of the store. As we walked out, Meechie dropped a bag of candy onto the floor. Before I could get to the store’s entrance, Darius grabbed my free hand. “I just wanted to say hi to him, TaMeeka.” “Baby, go on outside and stay by the door where I can see you. I’ll be out in a minute,” I said to Meechie. Turning to Darius, I explained, “Meechie doesn’t know who you are, Darius. My husband is the only father figure he’s ever known and I don’t want to confuse him.” “Well, now that I’m back, he can get to know his real daddy,” said Darius as he kept his eyes locked on Meechie. “You haven’t been his father since Day One, and now that you’re out of jail, you just want me to start letting you see him?” I asked in disbelief. “I don’t think so, Darius.” Darius attempted to touch my cheek as he said, “I always loved the way you said my name, TaMeeka. Is there any chance that you and I could… ya know.” If Meechie weren’t staring at us, I would’ve slapped Darius right then and there. Instead, I looked right into his hazel brown contacts and said, “You and I will never… ya know… ever again. Good bye, Darius!” As I walked out of the store, I heard Darius shouting, “Ya neva know what’ll happen, TaMeeka! Ya neva know!” Acknowledgments As long as I have been writing, I’m amazed that I can still come up with new stories. I just hope that I will continue to be blessed with creative thoughts to come up with tales for YOU. I’m known for going off on a tangent and getting away from my whole focus of my story. In case it happens, let me apologize in advance and please bear with me. And I pray you like what I’ve written cuz I’ve got bills to pay!!! First, let me thank God for His many blessings including my ability to use my creativity to entertain the world. God is good all the time, all the time GOD IS GOOD!! To my mother, Margaret: I love you, Mama! Thank you for being one of my first readers even though I STILL don’t think you’re old enough to read this!! To one of my many other mothers, Erina Shannon, for giving me my first computer on which I wrote the original version of this book. Michael Baisden, Kimberla Lawson Roby and Deneen Busby: Thank you for your advice, help and encouragement. Jason Whitener and Kinko’s Inc. on South Grand Ave. in St. Louis: My first copier and binder for the first edition. Thanks for all of your help, guys!!! Destiney: “Destiney-Do-Me-A-Favor”, I got ya back… no matter how many tangents we go on! Andréa, Kemi, Lana, Lyann and Rebecca: My original critics. Thanks for the input, ladies! It meant a lot for you all to take time out of your busy schedules to see what I was working on. Keep your eyes peeled for my next masterpiece! Ayanna aka Twin: Looking forward to your first book. Thanks for co-editing the original LJE for me. Maybe I’ll be able to re-pay you with the profits. Until then… Let’s do this! Shereytah: Thank you so much for being my second eyes on co-editing this edition! I’m definitely going to have to step up my editing time to keep up with your reading/proofing. Who says Mama can’t multi-task?! LOL Robert “Rob Boo” Ford: Thank you for pulling my cover together for the revised edition. I may have to keep you on retainer for future books! Carla & Debra: Look who’s in one of my list of lists... (BIG LAUGH at the inside joke!!!) Thank you both for all of your love and encouragement to follow my dreams... Janet Jackson, Eminem, 2Pac, Ginuwine, Chico DeBarge, Tyrese, Marc Nelson, *NSync, Nelly, Jon B, Joe, Pretty Willie Suella, Ludacris, Eve, Ja Rule, R. Kelly, Maroon 5, Robin Thicke, Floetry and Mystikal: Thank you for providing the music that got me through those late night writing sessions. Some of you even inspired a few of the events in this story. Al B. Sure!: Thank you for not only holding my CDs for the crowd to see but also for the hug. I was so stunned by the hug that I forgot to ask you for your autograph or at least a picture with you cuz I had my camera right there with me! I’ve loved you and your music since Day One and I was so blessed to re-edit and re-release this book with your music to help keep me going. With the exception of maybe a few tracks your Honey, I’m Home album was the soundtrack for my first year of marriage with my second husband. So, as always, you were there for me. May God continue to bless you! This is where I would acknowledge my publisher but I’m not gonna since I don’t like to talk about myself to myself. To my children, Marcus, Talia & Travan: Mommy’s little motivational angels... my three best reasons to keep going no matter what I do! I pray that you all will also follow your dreams like I did. To my husband, Kevin: Baby, I thank God for bringing you into my life. Your beautiful Baby Doll is spreading her wings and I’m about to make this writing thing WORK! The Yin to my Yang, I LOVE YOU!!! ANYONE NOT MENTIONED: I haven’t forgotten you… You know what you’ve done for or to me and your place in my life… To all those that encouraged me to do something by trying to discourage me... THANKS! PEACE! About the Author Born and raised in the suburbs and more recently seasoned by the south side of St. Louis, Missouri, most of Lea Mishell’s stories are set in her hometown. Although she’s been writing since the age of 16, a self-proclaimed Professional Procrastinator, Lea didn’t publish her first book until after finding her “Things to Do by 30” list and saw “Publish A Book” at the top of the list! Without a storyline in mind, shortly after turning 30 and in less than 3 months, her first book, LIVIN’ JUST ENOUGH, was created. Still within the timeframe of her 30th year of life, the book was published and thus launched Ms. Mishell’s budding writing career with the release of ILLUSIONS the following year. Ambition pushed her to try a few short stints as a journalist for local St. Louis publications, but Lea soon accepted the truth that her true writing passion lies with fiction as her stories drew from events in her own life. In 2010, Ms. Mishell contributed to the book, TALES FROM THE LOU along with Teresa Seals, Mary L. Wilson and Myron A. Winston and she’s currently in re-editing mode to re-release her first three titles, LIVIN’ JUST ENOUGH, ILLUSIONS, and NEVA SAW IT COMIN’ in 2012. Ms. Mishell currently resides in St. Louis with her husband and their children. Connect with Lea Mishell: Email: Author@LeaMishellAuthor.net Website: LeaMishellAuthor.net Smashwords Author Page: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/LeaMishell Tumblr: http://LeaMishellAuthor.tumblr.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/LeaMishell.Author Twitter: http://twitter.com/LeaMishellBooks Online Radio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuthorLeaMishell I personally answer all e-mail and messages when time permits… if I don’t respond quickly, give me a minute… ah’ight??? I’m probably writing, editing or publishing a book for you to read. I’ll answer. I will! One final tribute. A few weeks after his passing, I was on the phone calling a local radio station to ask for my all-time favorite Michael Jackson song, Butterflies. As I sat there listening to my request, my eyes scanned my bedroom until I spotted my copy of Livin’ Just Enough. Tears flooded my eyes as I thought back to the year I wrote this book. INVINCIBLE was practically the soundtrack! I dedicate this book to the creative genius in us all that continues to be inspired by the one and only King of Pop. Michael Joseph Jackson (1958 – 2009) R.I.H. (Rest in Heaven) PeaceLoveHappiness Lm...