Adversity
(Cursed # 2.5)

By Claire Farrell

Kali is the seventh of seventh, both blessed and cursed. With a father willing to sell her, and a life already mapped out for her, she’s desperate for an escape. But her way out can only come from the most unavailable person she knows, and stealing happiness comes with a price that many generations will bear.
Amelia’s haunted by disturbingly vivid dreams about a gypsy girl but ignored by everyone else in her life. She’s desperate to prove herself. To show everyone she can help. So when her brother and best friend display the influence of the curse on their free will—or lack of it—and a spirit warns of Perdita’s fast approaching death, she knows she has to do something. Yet she can’t ignore that something huge is happening to her too, and her journey leads her back to where it all began, but not everyone wants her help, after all.

Smashwords Edition
May 2012
Copyright © Claire Farrell 2012
Claire_farrell@live.ie

Book cover images provided by: 
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Licence Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Chapter One

Kali
18th century Ukraine

Sleep didn’t come easy. With her arms stretched out beyond her blanket and her fingers hovering over damp blades of grass, Kali stared upward at the stars and longed to find reason in the one constant of her life. No matter where she moved, no matter where she slept, she always had the stars. They felt like home, and when she gazed at them, she could forget about the ways her life would soon change. The stars remained the same, but her destiny clawed at her, trying to scoop her up into her fate. She should have felt honoured, but she couldn’t feel anything beyond reluctance and absolute terror.
“Kali? Awake still?”
Kali sat up as a figure stumbled toward her in the dark. Drina. Sister number six. Aged seventeen and married three years ago, her sister had a swollen belly and unhappy eyes, but the lightness in her step couldn’t be snuffed, not even by the oaf she had married.
Maybe the future would hold the same for Kali. Maybe she could keep a piece of herself, despite everything else.
“You should be with your husband,” Kali chided gently, knowing it was the right thing to say, though she didn’t quite believe it herself.
Drina eased herself to the ground with a soft grunt. She leaned close to Kali and wrapped her in a fierce grip, overcoming years of distance in mere seconds.
“He has little interest in me right now,” Drina said. “Besides, I’ve missed my little sister. It gets lonely without you all.”
Kali leaned into her embrace, a sudden lump blocking her throat. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“I hope he finds someone here for you. I would like to have one of my sisters close by.”
Blinking rapidly, Kali refused to answer. As much as she longed to stay with her sister, doing so would mean her future had caught up with her—marriage, her responsibilities as a chovihani, and that double curse of hers. Drina would call it a blessing, the accident of birth that made her irresistibly valuable to her people. For Kali, the accident worked as a chain, as bondage. Freedom was impossible.
Her birthright was the thing that provoked her father to drag her from camp to camp, to try to find the highest bidder before she became too old to be of any worth.
“He’s having trouble finding anyone to take me,” she confided in her sister. “Times are changing. We haven’t had a Guardian in such a long time that many of the younger ones don’t believe anymore. All the men see is the greed in our father’s eyes, so they won’t pay what he wants. I can’t pretend to be meek and dutiful when the women pinch my cheeks and measure my hips, trying to decide how many children I’ll bear before fading away completely.”
Drina’s husky laughter rumbled loudly. How Kali had missed that familiar laugh.
“You’ll never change, little one.” Drina smiled.
“Enough of the ‘little.’ There’s barely a year between us.”
“Why are you so obsessed with time? It isn’t natural. I don’t know how many years my own husband has been on this earth, and you… you’ve never been able to stop thinking about the length of your time here.”
“I’ve always needed to know how much time I have left,” Kali said softly.
Drina squeezed her hand. “It would be so much easier for you if you would learn to accept it. He would be easier on you.”
“All he cares about is his final payoff. Then we’ll both be free of each other.” Kali ignored the bitterness behind her own words though they rang true; her father would never go easy on her. She was a disappointment to him in every regard. She wasn’t like him, and the things he wanted her to do repulsed her. He was respected—or rather, tolerated—for his role as chovihano, but he used his power in ways Kali couldn’t. She would never be as powerful as long as she held onto her morals.
One of her other sisters might have taken on the burden of chovihani, instead of Kali, but her father saw Kali’s birth as an investment. But time really was running out, along with her father’s patience, and no clan would support her without a return on their investment. A clan couldn’t support her. Everyone had to pull their weight to keep the clan’s camp running smoothly.
“If you, while you’re here, could only do what he says and make them want you. We could be together forever.”
The tremor in Drina’s voice was enough to release the stubborn tears from Kali’s eyes. She couldn’t hurt Drina, but she would never do the things her father wanted her to do. Curses and dark magic. Things that would make her powerful. Feared. For these reasons, she hadn’t fully taken on the chovihani role destined to be hers, and the power within her was resentful. She felt it bubbling inside her with an intensity that took her breath away. The idea of releasing it terrified her more than the idea of marriage or bearing a new bloodline of werewolves.
The main trouble came from the voice in her head telling her what was right and wrong, a whisper of conscience that warned her not to interfere when desperate women begged her for love potions and fertility spells.
She didn’t want to make people unhappy, but she didn’t feel she had the right to meddle in the affairs of the gaje, especially when the men never knew magic had been used against them. Magic could take away a person’s free will, something she understood far too well to inflict magic on another person.
Besides, using her power felt dark, wrong somehow, as though the true meaning of the magic had been twisted into profit and obsession. The people who came to her looking for help believed in her magic, which only strengthened its unwieldy power in her blood. Her power sometimes drew out consequences even she didn’t expect.
Her mother had once called her a dreamer, said she thought too well of herself, but Kali had watched all six of her older sisters marry and age before their time. She wanted something different; she wanted her value to be more than the coin she brought home.
Maybe dreaming was pointless, but it got her through the tedious hours of fortune telling and putting on a show. Her magic wasn’t bells and whistles but the power of word and intent, something more than the rattling doors and dying flowers most people expected from the curse makers. Her magic should be respected, something her father seemed to have forgotten. Having magic came with a price, which was why most chovihani never uttered a curse in their entire lives. Of course, she had to be born from the chovihano who blackened everyone else’s name with his corrupt use of black magic.
She should be grateful, she tried to remind herself. The only reason she hadn’t married yet was because of that same power that chained her to her father. But the power already present in her blood was growing, and her father was anxious to pass it on, to marry her off and leave her with a clan who would pay him a massive dowry to have their own chovihani.
Kali was more than a mere chovihani. Her life was different from all of the others who had come before her. She was a gift since she was the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, which meant she was a lot more than a fortune-teller. She offered protection from the dead because her offspring would become the white wolves that would once again guard her people from the fallen souls trying to scramble back from hell. As the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter, Kali had power. And power meant horror.
Power meant her own father would use her as a bargaining tool.
He had fooled and teased a number of clans along the way, and visited camp after camp to figure out who could pay the most to have her, who would value her the most. But, as he liked to remind her, she would have no value if she brought nothing to her new people, and her blood would not turn worthy for many years yet, after which her kin would become the newest line of wolf guardian. Until then, she had to prove herself by selling hopes and dreams, and by giving the clan plenty of strong, healthy babies before her body gave out.
She slept little that night. For hours, feeling unsettled, she listened to Drina’s snores. She was in yet another new camp and wondering what her gift would mean for her. The possibilities weighed heavily, and she wished she were as accepting as Drina.
Yet, she couldn’t help but wish for a way out, instead.

***
Amelia
Present Day Ireland

I awoke with a start, staring at my room as if I had never seen it before, my fingers curling around the sheets as I backed up against the headboard. Within seconds the realisation hit me. Another dream. Same people.
Not real.
I brought my knees to my chest and tried to slow my breathing. At first, I hadn’t paid attention to the dreams, but they hadn’t started out so vividly. But soon I realised the dreams were a running series of events involving the same people, and every morning I found it harder and harder to wake in my own reality. Instead, I woke wondering why I couldn’t see the stars, and why there was a stifling, oppressive roof over my head. Every night I became Kali, and every day I felt a little less like me.
Of course, my mind had to play tricks on me when I needed it to stay straight. I figured I had some kind of mental block because I was dreaming about someone else’s life when I should have been suffering from nightmares of my own.
Checking the clock, I groaned. Five a.m. Brilliant.
I pulled on my dressing gown and glanced at my hollow eyes in the mirror—stranger’s eyes—before heading to the one place I knew would make me feel as though I were still in the right body. Kali might have found her constant in the stars, but mine was in a single room.
I shuffled into the kitchen in slippered feet, half expecting to hear Mémère’s voice and smell her perfume, feel the warmth of her protective arms around me. Her soothing words could tell me everything would be okay.
Instead, I found a cold, empty room. She was the light. She was the warmth. The kitchen had always been just a room. Yet it was where I retreated when I wanted to feel her close to me or when I needed to feel as though I still belonged to my family.
No milk in the fridge, so I settled for a relatively stale piece of toast. Chewing had become perfunctory. I didn’t taste food; I didn’t feel sunlight on my skin. In some ways I thought it a sin for the sun to shine when my heart was still mourning.
I sat there alone until Nathan arose, hungry as usual. Werewolves burned away everything they ate. Sometimes Nathan joked around and said hunger caused his stress. I was starting to believe him.
My brother raised a brow at the sight of me, up before him, but I wasn’t planning on telling him I had been sitting there for over two hours. My body didn’t want to move, so I had frozen to the spot, while images of my grandmother’s broken body flashed before my eyes. For the five billionth time, I wished I had been the one to take revenge on the werewolf who killed her. Not some girl who had only known for a couple of weeks that werewolves existed.
But I froze with fear in the face of the creatures that I’d always known existed. I hadn’t moved to help one member of my family, and one had died. The werewolf had come for me, had hunted me, but I had hidden while my grandmother tried to protect me. The wolf murdered her instead.
My family could never forgive me for that.
The aftermath was almost as difficult to deal with as her death had been. My grandfather had run away. My brother was too concerned with his girlfriend’s feelings to worry about me. And my uncle might as well have lived elsewhere, so rarely did I see him. Sometimes… sometimes I wanted to fall back asleep to be in that dream world as Kali, the girl surrounded by people who all paid attention to her. That girl was never forgotten about. Yeah, she had problems, but her family saw her as an asset. Me? I was the liability.
“Up early?” Nathan asked, taking a swig of orange juice straight from the carton. I didn’t have the heart to bitch about that.
“A little.”
“Well, hurry up and get ready. I need to leave.”
Story of my life. Nobody wondered how I was feeling. If I was okay. Everyone thought of themselves and got on with it. Mémère would have thought of me first. Then again, if she were around, everyone would be happy. The silence, the gloom, and the depression would all lift.
But she wasn’t around. And she never would be, thanks to me.
Nathan didn’t speak much on the way to school, not even when his girlfriend, Perdita, sat next to him on the bus. I stared at her from the corner of my eye and noted how tired she seemed, how the strain showed in her face. Her dark blue eyes held constant misery in them these days, even though she had been the hero, the one who’d stepped in and taken action in the face of danger. Yet, she seemed sadder than anyone. I longed to swap places with her. My chest ached as I wished the heroine had been me, and not her. The awe in Nathan’s face after the battle, and the way the entire family had studied Perdita with an air of admiration… I wanted those desperately for myself.
I would get them, one way or another.

Chapter Two

Amelia

The sterile smell of the science lab attacked my senses, seared my nostrils, and slammed straight into my brain, where it left a nice kicker of a headache. I rubbed my temples and tried to concentrate on my notebook. Not a chance. My vision was blurring again, driving me to distraction. I could hear someone talking at the front of the room, but the words wouldn’t form into anything coherent. I felt my legs shaking as I swayed on my seat. In a panic, I gripped the edges of the desk. What the hell was wrong with me now?
I took a couple of deep breaths, wishing I could calm down already. A firm wall of nothing pressed against me. Nothing, yet it made my heart race in double time, and forced my uneven breathing to grow ever harsher. I had to be coming down with something. Maybe I needed to eat more than a slice of dry toast for breakfast. The dizziness began to pass, and I stared at a scratched name on the surface of the desk, determined to get through the class without passing out.
“You okay?”
I glanced blankly at my science partner.
“You haven’t even started writing any of this down,” she said.
The fair-haired girl smiled encouragingly at me, but I couldn’t place her name. That had been happening a lot lately, along with confusion, dizziness, and headaches, too. Maybe my mind was elsewhere. I couldn’t pinpoint one thought or memory that didn’t lead to the horror of my grandmother’s death. Perhaps my brain was protecting me by distracting me from thinking clearly.
“Amelia?” Confusion crossed the girl’s face, her freckles pulling together as the skin on her nose wrinkled.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m fine…” Her name, her name… What the hell was her name?
“Ger. Remember?” She grinned then, and I couldn’t resist smiling back. I hadn’t made many friends in Dublin. Occasionally, some of my classmates joined me at lunch when I sat at Perdita’s table, but they didn’t want to spend time with me and probably only hoped my more popular older brother would join us. I couldn’t blame them for finding it hard to warm to me. Once I met Perdita, I sort of latched on and didn’t look back, which was not good, especially now that Perdita had so much on her mind. Unfortunately, the curse compelled me to seek her out, to bond with her, yet she seemed to have no trouble running away from me of late. I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. Between my family and Perdita, we all had a lot to deal with. I couldn’t expect anything more.
As if I had invited conversation, Ger spent the rest of the class chatting away. I didn’t mind so much as I didn’t quite know how to respond. Was I supposed to pretend to be a normal teenage girl or was I supposed to follow Perdita’s lead and push everyone away? I didn’t know how I was supposed to deal with anything anymore, and I didn’t have Mémère to guide me.
“You should hang out with us sometime,” Ger said as she walked with me to our next class.
I mumbled something in response, and she seemed to take the hint, because she played with her hair for a couple of seconds before saying goodbye and walking ahead of me. Awkward.
The headache worsened as I passed by the gym; the stench of sweat and socks and who knew what else completely overwhelmed me. I retched right there before running straight to the bathroom to throw up the little that was in my stomach.
I sank to the floor of the bathroom while sweat trickled down my temples. The bell had rung while I heaved; I would be late. There wasn’t much point going to class when I couldn’t concentrate on anything aside from the thumping of my headache. Or so I told myself. I scrunched up a piece of tissue in my hand, and rubbed my knuckles against my eyes, hoping to push away the pain. The feelings of nausea had all but vanished, but the headache was worsening. A drumbeat in my skull. A hammer behind my eyes.
The door swung open, and Ger strolled in, grinning at me. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks,” I said weakly.
“Is it Ana or Mia?” she asked in a curious tone of voice.
“What?” It took me a few seconds to understand she thought I had an eating disorder. “Oh. Neither. I’m coming down with a bug or something. I’ve had a headache all morning.”
“Well, your clothes are hanging off you.”
I stood and stared at myself in the mirror. I was looking pretty thin. My cheeks had hollowed out, and my collarbone was a little… dramatic.
“I swear,” I said, “I eat.”
Ger checked out her lip gloss in the mirror and apparently decided it needed topping up. “I believe you. I was just wondering. The headache thing, though. My aunt gets migraines. She throws up every single time. Says the pain’s worse than childbirth. And you looked like you were in serious pain earlier. Plus the lights in the lab are pretty killer. That’s why I thought I should check if you were okay when you disappeared in the hallway.”
“Yeah.” I shrugged and tried to smile, my reflection scaring me now that I really paid attention. “It’s probably a migraine.”
“Wanna get to class? Or go to the office to see if you can wrangle a painkiller?”
“Tried that the other day. No go. No pills for the kiddies.” I smiled, which felt weird, as if the skin on my face was pulled too tight.
“Yeah, they suck.” She made a face before turning to look at me, slipping her lip gloss back into her shirt pocket. “Hey, sorry about your grandmother, by the way. I heard she died abroad. That really sucks.” Her voice softened.
My breath hitched in my throat. “Thanks. I should probably go to the office anyway. Just in case. Hope you don’t get in trouble for being late to class.”
She grinned, her face lighting up. “I’ll take you. Say I couldn’t leave you vomiting in the hallways. Come on.”
She linked arms with me and pulled me after her, pointing out students in the photographs that adorned the walls so she could tell me bits of information about them. By the time we reached the office at the other side of the school, the headache had eased, the nausea had completely dissipated, and I was feeling a lot better.

***

Kali

A kick in her back from her father’s booted foot woke her. Wishing she could swear at him, she held her tongue until he told her what he wanted.
“Go and prove yourself,” was all he said.
“We’ve barely settled in here. I don’t even know where to go,” she protested.
“I’ll take her,” Drina said, approaching her father warily. She might be married, but he could still be heavy with his hands if no one watched. Without a word, he walked away, and Kali sent hateful glares at his back.
Drina laid a hand on Kali’s arm. “Don’t provoke him.”
“Why? Why shouldn’t I? He deserves it after everything he’s done.”
“Because you’ll be the one who gets hurt. And who are we to say who deserves to be punished? You’re the one who has always told me that.”
“I know. But the blackness of his heart blinds me from what’s right. He’s a constant shadow over me.”
“Hush. We’ll walk in the sun today. No more talk of shadows. I’ll get the baby ready, and we’ll leave as soon as you’ve eaten.”
Grateful for the company, the old companionship of sisterly love, and the chance to get to know her niece, Kali hurried to prepare for the day. The multiple layers of skirts made the heat harder to bear, but she took some cooling herbs to chew on. The talisman in her putsi would keep her spirits up.
The sun had barely risen by the time they left camp. The journey to the nearest village was longer than she liked, but her people knew well that they were accepted by the gaje as long as they camped a reasonable distance away. Gypsy goods and services were valuable enough, but neither would be tolerated for too long.
Jaelle, Drina’s toddler, snuggled against her aunt’s shoulder as if Kali wasn’t a stranger to her. Kali held the child tight, feeling a kinship that overwhelmed her. She had always been close to Drina growing up—no wonder she should be filled with love for her sister’s daughter.
They had been apart for three years, and that was far too long. Perhaps staying with Drina’s new family was best.
“Are there any decent young men, then?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes.
Drina squealed, immediately brightening. “My husband’s older brother lost his wife a year ago.”
“I did say young.”
Drina made a face. “Oh, don’t. Stay with me, Kali. I’m lonely without you. The other women won’t accept me. They don’t trust papa.”
“Do you blame them?” Kali saw the hurt in Drina’s eyes. “But I’ll do whatever it takes to stay with you.”
They held hands as the sun bore down making the air feel wretchedly close. They passed by wide fields of gold, where the wheat grew tall. Harvest time was approaching. The sun relentlessly reflected off the surface of the distant lake.
Between half-closed lids Kali thought she spied dark spirits in the distance. Blinking a couple of times, she saw nothing where she knew she’d seen a shadow. She sensed her time was most certainly running out.
“What’s wrong?” Drina asked. “You’re shaking.”
Shifting Jaelle into a more comfortable position, Kali shook her head. “I see the shadows, Drina. They’re coming for me. I told you, he’s black inside, and he’s made me the same way. I can’t escape it.”
“Kali, you make no sense! There’s no darkness in you. You’re the one. The white mother. You’ll protect us from the darkness. Your children will grow up to be white wolves and send the shadows away for good. Don’t torture yourself with your fantasies.”
Kali sucked in deep, healing breaths. The panic attacks were coming more frequently, and though she hid them as best she could, something about the trails they travelled provoked her fears.
Perhaps the length of the journey tired her into confusion, or the heat addled her brain, but she sensed malevolence in the air, as if many terrible things had happened on the dried dirt paths upon which they walked. She felt she could never escape what her father had done to bring her into the world.
The atmosphere changed; she could sense Drina’s apprehension of her sudden shift in mood. Her own sister didn’t trust her, not really, of that Kali was certain, and she wished she could have gone to the village alone. But Drina was well known. She could round up the right people and entice the believers into passing over payment.
Jaelle had huge, black eyes that overshadowed her heart-shaped face. Her dark curls, her lips that smiled more often than not, and her ingrained need to please, made her a gift of a different kind. She had the sort of face people liked to see, a face that people rewarded. Drina and Jaelle were of much greater value than Kali because they brought home more, but Jaelle was growing swiftly, losing that baby adorableness that the gaje seemed to go weak for.
As she and her sister approached the village, Kali’s nervousness grew ever stronger. Something tried to push her away, to refuse her passage, but she ignored it. Her instincts warned her to avoid the village, but she needed her sister. She also needed to be useful enough to win a place at her camp. She would push past imagined dark omens in order to please her sister.
“Wait.” Drina pinched her daughter’s cheeks, flooding the sallow skin with red. “It’s time, baby. Time to smile for the people.”
“This is so wrong.”
“But necessary,” Drina said firmly before pinching Kali’s cheeks as well. “It’s a strange village, sister. The people are overly familiar one day and cruel the next. Be aware, and watch your tongue. Keep yourself out of trouble, and give them what they want.”
She gazed into Kali’s eyes. “Stay with me.” The words held weight, and the meaning held depth. Kali knew she couldn’t refuse her sister.
They strolled in, side by side. A few watched their entrance with interest, but many cold stares fell upon Kali, chilling her.
“Most of the homes are on the outskirts and beyond the village. There are some grain farms and orchards, but most of the men work on farms belonging to another. Being mostly poor, they hate anyone who owns anything. Many of the women gather in the centre of the village to buy and sell goods; others come to gossip only. They are the ones to watch.”
Drina herself was charming, and she managed to find a couple of older ladies eager to hear their fortunes before the midday sun did its worst. The younger ones, girls closer to Kali’s age mostly, tended to be secretive about their desire and curiosity. Drina had learned a lot about the villagers in the months she had lived at the camp, and she knew enough to forewarn her younger sister. Kali didn’t often need her warnings, though, for she knew enough—too much, really—whether she wanted to or not.
The Ukrainian summer was sticky and humid that year. Kali had been all over Europe, particularly Eastern Europe, for the last two years. She was tired of moving, though the nomadic lifestyle was in her blood. Her people were driven to wander, but an unspoken desire to settle down had been stirring within her of late. She wanted to get used to a place before she moved on to the next one. Life without her sisters had been lonely, and she’d hoped her father would finally leave her in a camp one of her sisters belonged to. As long as she got away from him, she didn’t care which one, but if she had the chance to pick a sister, she’d choose Drina without hesitation.
Kali told fortunes while Drina sold pieces of cheap jewellery, and as outsiders, she and Kali had to set up their wares far from the village centre, where ruddy-faced women haggled over prices. Slowly, ever so slowly, however, the curious made their way over to Drina and Kali, and most of them made a show of cooing over Jaelle before they finally succumbed to their curiosity about their futures.
The fortune telling went as usual. Some wanted cards; others requested palms. Kali disliked reading palms, because the act was too personal, too many dizzying images flashed at once. With the tarot cards, she could take her time and make up a pretty story to shroud the truth. Her dream was to scry into a crystal ball. She wanted her own home to gaze in. The women would come to her for a change, and that would be her money-maker. People always asked about the crystal balls, but there was no beauty in scrying on the side of a dusty track.
Her own people took little interest in the future, but the gaje women went wild for it. They begged for more tidbits, over and over again, until eventually they were unable to make a decision without consulting her first. They would follow her to the camp to ask more questions, personal questions about themselves, which always disturbed Kali. Finally, the women would become obsessed with her and grow dependent on her words.
The darkness in her blood called to them, enticed and tempted them, lured them in with false promises. She could feel the temptation in her fingertips ensnare the questioning women, making them want more, which gave Kali far too many premonitions to sort through.
The premonitions themselves gave her headaches. Some were vague and easy to deal with, but occasionally, the glimpse of the person’s future—and past—was too much to handle and weakened her, drawing from her strength. She had no idea how to control the suffocating imagery, the intensity of emotions, the longing and desperation that crawled under her skin. She would do anything to reject her gift and pass on the burden to another.
She saw plenty of wrongdoing, and though some of it was harmless, she felt forced to distance people from herself, for her own peace of mind. Her father’s blows were more than the infliction of physical pain; he intended her to see his past and the things he had done—the reasons she shouldn’t exist. He wanted her to suffer the guilt of his sins.
The visions had started early for Kali; far too early for her young mind to process properly, she had discovered the innermost thoughts and desires of those old enough to be corrupted. She had come to the conclusion that most people were like her father, who was after the most gain from the least work. Some, though, managed to surprise her. Drina’s purity sometimes caught Kali’s breath.
The swiftly growing line of giggling women moved quickly as Kali got down to work. Sweat trickled down her back as she sat on a stool without shelter from the sun while Drina drifted back and forth with Jaelle in her arms, sometimes cajoling villagers into making a purchase. Kali sat far away from the disapproving older men of the village, but close enough for the groups of women to dawdle without looking as though they were part of the line. The first day the women would be shy, almost embarrassed by their interest, but by the time Kali was ready to leave, their cackles would erupt as they joked together about their fortunes. Kali knew the laughter covered true desperation, for each woman longed to be told how her heart’s desire would be handed to her on a golden plate.
Kali was a hard worker, but telling fortunes physically drained her, and she was glad when the queue dwindled down to the last few. Drina, her wares long gone, had wandered off to feed herself and Jaelle.
Kali eavesdropped on a couple of women while she pretended to study the cards. Respond too quickly, and the process lost its magic, at least in the eyes of her customers. She had learned that the hard way. If the answers came immediately to Kali, or not at all, the women wouldn’t know. They wanted the show and their money’s worth.
The women were giggling about the last one in the queue, a sour-looking woman in her thirties. She was plain, and her eyes held bitterness, for all to see.
“She would lay with anyone, and still no sign,” one whispered, her joy in another’s misfortune twisting her face into a picture of pure ugliness.
“That poor boy,” another replied, too loudly. “Henpecked by an old, wrinkled whore. I hope her fortune keeps her warm at night.”
The lone woman’s shoulders tensed, and Kali pitied her. When the name-caller took her turn, Kali delighted in giving her bad news.
“There is darkness of your own making on the horizon. However you treat others will be returned to you tenfold,” she said softly, watching the woman’s hands tighten into claws. “One bad word from you will lead to one terrible year for you. But, of course, you would never—”
“Of course not,” the woman replied huffily, but she left in a hurry and completely avoided the lone woman.
The embittered woman sat down, her eyes staring keenly at Kali. “Will I get the truth?”
“If that’s what you wish,” Kali replied, liking the woman’s frank question.
“Can you tell me my future?”
“Perhaps.”
The woman placed a coin on the makeshift table. “Tell me what you see.” She held out her palm, and Kali took it reluctantly, flinching as the first wave of emotion hit her. So much pain and bitterness. She tasted a rancid coating of resentment on the tip of her tongue, and the thudding began behind her eyes.
Smothering a gasp, Kali nodded slowly. “You’re unhappy.”
A cold laugh. “Anyone could tell me that.”
“Loveless,” Kali said softly. “You don’t love your husband.”
“He loves me less,” she said. “Forced into marrying an old, barren woman when he should be running around after all of the young fruit who cry out for a man.” She wrinkled her nose. “But I already know my present. What’s in my future? Is there… is there a child for me? Or is it too late?”
Kali closed her eyes and breathed deeply. A child. Dark-haired and dark-eyed. Not this woman’s blood, but a love between them all the same. Her eyes flew open in confusion. The child resembled Jaelle. How…?
“Do you want the truth or a lie?” she asked, deadly serious.
The woman leaned over. “I can handle the truth. It’s the false hope that will kill me.”
“You won’t bear a child. But you will have a child to love.”
“What riddle is this? What does it mean?”
“It means I see you as a mother, but you’ve a barren womb.”
“Perhaps my actions change things. Perhaps you can help me. You can make fertility potions, can’t you? My cousin, she lives four villages away, said a gypsy witch gave her a special drink, and she was pregnant by the next season. Was it you?”
Kali shook her head, suddenly catching the aroma of a stew in the air. Her stomach rumbled and her head pounded. She needed to leave, to eat, and to wash away all of the expectations of the villagers. “It wasn’t me. All I can tell you is that many women are lucky under the waning moon. Lay with your husband then.”
Kali might be gone by the time the woman discovered her infertility couldn’t be cured by the tides of the moon. Either way, Kali wanted the needy woman to leave before she drowned in her own pity. Some of them took the future so seriously, as if they couldn’t enjoy today without knowing for certain what tomorrow would bring. Their blindness to the truth disturbed her greatly. They couldn’t see that their obsession with their future didn’t bring them an ounce of happiness. Kali often wondered why she had been born with the gift, when she never wanted to see even an hour ahead.
Drina led the way home, rubbing her belly and humming to herself, while Kali carried Jaelle, feeling the full weight of the sleeping child on her shoulder. Why had she seen the woman with a child like Jaelle? Was the woman going to steal Drina’s baby? She could warn her sister, but Drina would not listen to signs of the future. She was more than happy in the here and now and could forget even her husband’s fists as soon as they stopped striking her.
“Why are you so quiet?” Drina inquired.
“One of the women… I saw her with a child. A child resembling Jaelle.”
Drina’s throaty laugh filled the air. “Perhaps she will take a fancy to my husband.”
“She’s barren. It wouldn’t matter.”
Drina shrugged. “Let’s hurry. I’m half-starved. You did well today. Keep that up, and we could be together again.”
Kali hoped so, but her father was less hopeful.
“You barely made more than Drina,” he scolded. His fingers dug into her shoulders as he shook her. “Did you work at all today?”
“I never stopped,” she insisted. “What did you do today?”
The slap to her cheek surprised her, as always, but she didn’t flinch at the stinging pain or the bad memories dancing around her. She held his gaze without a tremble, and he turned on his heel in disgust. Only then did her heart pound and her hands shake. Only then did she let herself see her mother’s suffering.
He hadn’t hit hard enough to leave a mark, but lately his frustration seemed to boil over for more trivial reasons than usual. She knew she provoked him, but she was as tired of him as he was of her. She almost wished he would sell her off already, and be done with it, so she would never have to see his face again.

Chapter Three

Amelia

I sat on a swing at the back of my house, a wolfhound at my feet, and replayed my memories and not the ones stemming from that day in the woods, for once. I was tired of remembering the pack of werewolves that had come for me but had taken my grandmother’s life instead. This time, I let memories of my dreams fill my mind with vivid imagery and intensely realistic sensations. I had felt the sun warm my skin, the sweat trickle down my back, and the blisters burst on the soles of my feet. I had smelled food and felt hunger and weariness, and had almost suffocated in the anger and resentment and pity of the people around me.
But those memories weren’t the strangest ones.
That morning I was awakened by the sting of a sharp slap on my cheek. My blood boiled in my veins, and within minutes of waking, the headache had returned. My head hurt so much that I thought it might split open. But the slap? How strange was that—to physically feel, in real time, the slap which had happened in my dream?
Nathan distracted me before I could dwell on it any further. I knew he was trying something to make me feel better, perhaps, but his efforts seemed false to me, as if they were only an afterthought. I resisted the temptation to ask him if Perdita was busy and if that was why he had time for me. That would be mean. But I wanted to be mean sometimes, to force my remaining family to remember me.
When he told me that he and Byron were planning a hunt, I nodded because I really wanted him to go away so I could think some more about Kali’s world.
“Want to read my fortune?” he asked.
Kali’s frustration, and her real power, was too fresh in my head. I was a pretender in comparison. I knew I would never be able to read the cards again.
He persisted in trying to discover the source of my distraction, so I made up a story about wanting to organise our grandmother’s memorial myself. As if. Although, I did feel strange that my uncle was paying someone to deal with it all and paying for problems to go away. I didn’t think that was going to work with most of our problems; we couldn’t pay the werewolves that hunted us to leave us alone. We still weren’t sure what they wanted, but I was almost certain it wasn’t money.
In all honesty, I hadn’t thought about the memorial as much as I should have. The dreams had distracted me from everything, and maybe that was the point of them.
Still, when Nathan suggested visiting our grandmother’s grave, I jumped at the chance. Why hadn’t I thought of doing that? The dreams seemed to protect me from the real pain. I believed in the impossible, and perhaps my grandmother’s spirit was lingering, waiting for the chance to say goodbye to me properly.
“I like that,” I said. “We could bring Perdita,” I added as an afterthought.
He hesitated, his insecurities revealed in the fleeting fear that darted across his face. He didn’t know how to deal with her anymore, and he was afraid to push it.
“I’m not sure she would be into that. Not after everything.”
A chasm between us filled with unspoken words.
“She’ll be okay, Nathan. I mean, it’s Perdita.” I needed him to understand that she was strong enough to get through it, and that eventually she would get over the fact she’d murdered a killer werewolf to save my grandfather. Nathan didn’t seem so sure. I left the subject alone. “Well, if it’s only us, let’s go right now.”
He made a couple of lame excuses, but I ignored his predictable hesitation and refused to let him take back the offer. I ran off to my room before he could really come up with a good excuse.
I needed to find an important symbol that I could leave at Mémère’s grave, something that would let her know I hadn’t forgotten her. My bracelet twisted on my wrist, and I remembered she hadn’t been buried with its match. My piece was a replica of hers, the one my grandfather had given her a long time ago. If he didn’t bury it with her, he sure as hell had forgotten about it, so I moved to their room to find it.
Slipping inside the room made me panic. Oppressive, stifling heat and a cloying smell stuck to me almost immediately. I felt as though no air had come into the room since her death, as though the room had closed itself off from the rest of the world.
I moved to her dresser slowly, suddenly timid. I felt as though there was someone behind me the entire time, and although it didn’t scare me, it unnerved me a whole lot. I opened Mémère’s jewellery box and rummaged until I found what I was looking for. Lifting the bracelet with care, I slipped it onto my other wrist for safekeeping.
There had to be something else I could bring. Of course. Her tarot cards. They were the one thing she had refused to give up for my grandfather. She had many packs scattered around her room for reasons known only to her, but there was one pack at the top of her wardrobe, a special set that she rarely used. I stretched to reach the top of the wardrobe, but my fingers touched wood, instead of the cards I was expecting. Puzzled, I pulled her dresser stool over to the wardrobe and stood on it to see properly.
The cards were there, sitting right on top of a wooden board. I pulled the board closer to me, but the stool wobbled. I fell, pulling the board after me, and I landed heavily on the floor, gasping as the board, followed by the cards, landed right on my stomach.
“Damn it,” I hissed, feeling winded. I picked up the board with every intention of pushing it back up on top of the wardrobe, but as I touched it, a shudder ran through me, and I gazed at the board in surprise.
The object was a spirit board… interesting.
I picked up the cards, stood, and shoved them in my pocket, but for some reason, I couldn’t put back the board. Hearing Nathan call my name, I made my decision and ran back to my room to hide the board under the bed. I didn’t feel right about leaving it on top of a wardrobe to gather dust.
We walked to the graveyard together, making the most of the good weather.
“Still feeling ill?” Nathan asked, disturbing my thoughts.
“I’m okay. You know me, always coming down with something.” I tried to laugh, but my effort was weak, and we both knew it. He glanced at me, and I recognised the look. He had absolutely no idea what to do with me, either, so I made small talk to ease his mind. All the while I thought about that spirit board.
By the time we got to the grave, I was ready to spill my guts. I could tell Nathan was feeling awkward. He had never been comfortable around death, or the idea there might be something after, and even now, he fidgeted as though his clothes were full of ants. I dug a neat little space in the earth in which to leave the cards and the bracelet. I felt better when I covered them with dirt. Being at her grave felt important, and I thought something important would happen if I spoke to her there. I wanted to wind back the guilt, to cut the rope that bound it to me, and throw it away for good.
Nathan made a face when he saw me digging the little hole. Maybe he thought I was desecrating her grave, but I defended my right to leave something with her. I felt relief when he finally stopped hovering and let me get on with my ceremony of sorts.
“Mémère, I miss you so much. I need you now. You’ve no idea how much. Everything’s gone wrong without you. Opa’s gone. He left. Just like that. I don’t… I don’t understand what’s happening anymore. Nathan’s told me so many things that I didn’t know. Things I should have known that you and Opa should have told me. Why didn’t you tell me anything? Why did you hide so much from me? How did you think that would make me feel? I wish I could talk to you and understand, but I can’t. It’s as if… it’s as if you’re all strangers to me now, as if I don’t know any of you. And I feel so ill; I don’t know why. The headaches are so bad, and the dreams… I don’t get any rest at night because I’m so busy in the dream world.”
As I spoke, a breeze blew over me, cooling my hot cheeks. I hadn’t meant to sound so accusing, but apart from the grief, I was so angry I could spit. I wanted to tear things apart with my hands, to see things shatter and break before me. They should have warned me of the danger I was in. If only they had told me everything. If only I had known what to expect, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen apart and been so bloody useless when the werewolves finally came for me. The grief was bad, but the rage… the rage was so much worse.
Sitting there telling her how I felt, I let everything that had been bubbling inside me release itself into the world. The relief felt good, as if weights floated off my shoulders. I still didn’t understand, but my head felt clear for the first time in weeks. Opa wasn’t here anymore. Nathan and Byron weren’t exactly wells of information, but maybe I could talk to her—to Mémère—through the spirit board. Maybe my pulling it down had been a sign that Mémère wanted me to contact her. It was worth trying. I had to believe that.
“Your turn,” I called out to Nathan. He took a deep breath before approaching her grave, and I knew he was nervous.
“Do you think you could give me a minute? Alone, I mean.”
I didn’t mind, so I wandered off.
“Stay where I can see you,” he shouted after me, sounding way too much like the mother of a little kid. Idiot.
I strolled around the graveyard, freakishly interested in the graves. I had a hard time remembering a body lay in a grave under the earth when the surface was suffocating in butterflies or pink glitter ornaments. Some headstones were piled up with flowers and plaques and still living memories, so it made me sad to see the deserted ones. The ones that were dirty and overgrown had been obviously forgotten.
On the edge of the cemetery were a batch of incredibly old graves, and they got me thinking about Kali. If she had been real, then her grave would be out there, old, ruined, and forgotten somewhere in the world. I didn’t want that for Mémère.
I stared at those cracked headstones until Nathan found me.
“You ready?”
I wasn’t ready. Not for goodbyes. Not to walk away.
“I feel bad for these ones. There’s nobody left to miss them. Think it makes a difference?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just… do you think Mémère is still around?”
“Not really, Ammy.”
His use of my childhood nickname made me smile, and reminded me of the old days before Nathan became consumed with the idea of the old gypsy curse that would afflict his and his soul mate’s lives. “You haven’t called me that since we were little.”
I couldn’t bear to look away from the graves. I didn’t want to let Mémère go. Not her memory. Not her presence. I wasn’t ready to be on my own. If using the spirit board would keep her with me a little longer then it seemed like the right thing to do.
“What if they knew nobody was here to mourn them anymore? What if there was nothing holding them here? Maybe if we keep missing her, she’ll stay with us longer.”
Nathan literally squirmed on the spot. “Why would you want her to? What if there’s something better for her than seeing us right now?”
I scowled at him, unable to understand. She loved us. Of course she would want to see us. To stay with us. She would never willingly leave us.
“What could be better than family?” I asked.
“Do you really think she’d want to see Opa like this? Do you think she’d be happy to see the family all… distant like this? This isn’t her family. Not the way we are right now. She’d hate to see this. But as long as we remember her, we keep her with us in a different way. Do you understand?”
I hated when he was right. No. She wouldn’t enjoy watching her family drift apart. “What do we do now? There’s nobody to take care of us anymore. Byron doesn’t exactly love being around us, and I’m starting to think Opa’s never coming back.”
“Opa’s just… grieving in his own way. He’ll come back. Besides, we’re old enough to look after ourselves. And I’m not leaving you; don’t worry. We’ll have to wait for the oldies to get over themselves and come back into the real world. That’s all.”
He was pretty cool when he actually paid attention to me, and maybe he was right. We had to take care of each other and wait for everything else to get back to normal.
We actually had fun on the way home, and by the time we got there, I had laughed so much that my cheeks ached. Maybe it was better to leave the spirit board alone, after all.

***
Kali

For a week solid, she went to the village, sometimes with Drina, but more often alone. Drina’s pregnancy hadn’t been easy, and she needed her rest.
Kali worked each day, prepared to earn her keep, desperate to persuade this particular clan that it needed her around. The clan was a large vitsa made up of a number of families, wealthier than most, and a couple of unmarried men had watched her with interest. Not that she encouraged them. She wasn’t interested in any of them.
She knew she was swapping one keeper for another, but the sooner her father performed the ceremony declaring her no longer a novice, but a chovihani in her own right, the sooner she could prove herself and her magic. She would show her people how she turned toward the light and away from the dark, unlike her father. She would be more important than her father, well-respected, and perhaps her husband would be kind and gentle.
Perhaps.
Her father held power, too. He had once been esteemed, even cherished, by his clan, but he wasted everything when he turned to black magic. His power was corrupted, twisted by his greed and vanity, by the things he had done to assert his position. With any other parent, she would have been greatly desired; the clans would have fought to contain her in one of their folds. But in his desperation to beget a seventh daughter, he had taken steps that would lead to them both being unofficially ostracised.
She swore to herself that she would never be the same as him. She ignored the darkness that pleaded with her whenever she used her talents. The darkness had followed her since childhood, and deep in her heart, she knew it came from her father. She knew he had turned to a darker side to strengthen his power, to make sure she was born, even if her birth would eventually lead to her mother’s early death.
She had to keep her magic pure. She had to stay away from the curses a chovihani was expected to cast on those who wronged them. Everyone expected her to be as dark as her father, which explained why the various gypsy clans had shunned her, and yet that was why they wanted her, too. She was to protect her people, and when she married, she would leave her father’s clan and join her husband’s vitsa to become a part of his people. Perhaps her new alliances would expect her to harm those who interfered with them. How was she supposed to be that person who decided when someone deserved a punishment of dark magic?
She would be different, and her children would cast away the darkness around her. Her children would be the light. She had sworn to herself long ago that she would cleanse herself of her heritage, no matter what it took.
But the shadows, clouds on her heart, followed her to the village, and drew closer every day. On the way back to camp, the air was heavy with humidity. The heat combined with the increasing sense of time running out made her panic, and she broke into a run, the dry earth hard under her bare feet.
She almost ran right by the woman from the village, the bitter woman who would somehow raise a gypsy child. This time they met on a dirt track next to a field of glorious green. Only then did she see the darkness surrounding the woman and understand how the woman had invited darkness into her heart a long time ago. Kali was unsettled to see a manifestation of evil so clearly, and openly. Worse, such acceptance of darkness came from one of the gaje, a non-gypsy who should not have knowledge of such magic.
The woman was accompanied by a young man, most likely her husband, Kali realised. The villagers had called him a boy, Kali remembered, but his wide shoulders and straight posture declared him every bit of a man to Kali. His hair was white blond, his eyes, ice blue, and his complexion similar to the woman. Again, Kali felt a twist of discomfort at the memory of the baby’s image she’d had when telling the woman’s fortune. When the woman set her gaze on Kali, her face lit up.
“You! I need to speak with you.”
“Marusya, we don’t have time,” her husband said in a deliciously deep voice that ran right down to the tip of Kali’s toes. She couldn’t take her eyes from his face. What was wrong with her?
“Oh, go home, you half-wit,” his wife snapped. She may as well have been shouting at a stray dog, for all the care she held in her eyes and voice. He glanced at Kali, his eyes full of embarrassment and shame, and walked away. Trying to contain her shock at the woman’s rudeness, Kali’s stomach still quivered at the memory of her own foresight, and how uncomfortable she felt with the man’s shame. Terrified of the darkness closing in on her, Kali took a tone with the woman and openly challenged her.
“Marusya, is it? I am no dog to be ordered about. Neither is your husband. Perhaps your barren womb is punishment for your misdeeds. Consider that when you treat another like dirt.”
Kali stalked off, chest heaving with fear as the woman screamed insults after her. Had she lost her mind? She had broken the golden rule. The gaje left you alone if they thought you meek. They forgot to put you down if you acted put upon already. Now she had made an enemy out of a bitter woman with a broken heart, because she couldn’t swallow a cruel taunt, and that made her no better than anyone else. Why had she spoken so? Because she was distracted by a pair of blue eyes? Was she obsessing about her future?
She could not throw everything away like that. She would have to move on again if Marusya caused a fuss. She would have to leave Drina because she opened her mouth.
Sighing, she hurried back to camp, hoping to make up for the day’s mistakes.

Chapter Four

Amelia

Another headache kicked in, so I napped before dinner. My dreams were disturbing, more unsettling than usual, even though not a lot happened in this last dream, aside from Kali getting all blushy-faced over a hottie. Oh, and losing the rag with his wife. Boundaries, Kali.
Still, I felt more connected to her than ever. She had lost her mother, too. She also felt ostracised because of mistakes her father had made. How could I not relate to her? I carried guilt because I couldn’t remember my mother’s face unless I saw it in a photograph. I felt alone because my family members made decisions that kept me out of the loop. I had been in danger for perhaps my entire life, and not one of them had seen fit to warn me. They preferred to treat me like a child incapable of comprehending the situation. Even now, they weren’t talking. I still didn’t know where my grandfather was or how he had managed to fake my grandmother’s death certificate. I didn’t even know if I was still in danger. I was as frustrated as Kali.
She, however, was determined to redeem herself. I couldn’t disagree with that sentiment.
All of the talk of darkness and black magic sickened me. Kali—and I—had felt true fear in the dreams, and the memory of that sensation followed me around all evening, lingering in the background.
Byron and Nathan were both lost in their own thoughts at dinner, and I felt so alone that I thought about the spirit board again. What if Nathan had been wrong? What if Mémère really wanted me to use it to contact her? I had to try, but I also had to make sure nobody would interrupt me.
Byron excused himself quickly from the dinner table, barely meeting my eyes as he said goodnight. Nathan wasn’t much better, and I could see he was preoccupied with thoughts of Perdita again, which didn’t surprise me. He had become pretty one dimensional since he’d discovered his mate.
Left alone at the table, I found it hard to force food past the lump in my throat. The night was silent, and all I had was a wolfhound and a view of an empty, dark garden. Shadows licked the window, and I had second thoughts about the spirit board. In my dreams, I knew what magic felt like. Okay, so maybe magic wasn’t real, but the darkness Kali had felt had crept along my spine, too, and I grew wary at the idea of messing about with it.
I stood, almost falling as my knees suddenly buckled. Stabbing pains in my head had crippled me night after night, but I usually managed to cover the agony. This time, I struggled to breathe, gasping for breath as an invisible sledgehammer pounded at my skull.
“Christ,” I groaned, half-crawling up the stairs and hoping nobody would see me.
Half-hoping they would.
I made it to my room without passing out. Something was definitely happening to me. Whether it was a brain tumour or something mystical, I needed help. I had wanted to talk to Nathan about the dreams and explain everything, but I couldn’t put into words how disturbingly realistic the dreams were. I couldn’t explain how bad the pain was, because I wasn’t a werewolf, and as far as my family was concerned, that meant I couldn’t handle pain or responsibility. Or, you know, the actual truth.
With a plan in mind, I gathered up some candles and tried to calm myself. Negative energy would attract negative spirits, or so Mémère would have said if she’d been around. She had often told me of the old days, back before she met and was mated to Opa. She made a living performing psychic readings for people. Fortune telling was the more accurate term. Her mother, my great-grandmother, held séances, and was pretty much a psychic bad-ass. I wished I could have met her. I might have understood more about the magic in the world.
Opa hadn’t liked Mémère telling stories of the past. He had warned her never to speak of magic to me, which meant he’d stolen it from me, stolen my heritage and my capacity to understand. Sometimes I wondered if I would ever again feel anything other than anger and bitterness toward him.
Nathan and Byron might have been arrogant enough to think they were the only “special” people in the world, but there had to be other kinds of magic and folklore that were real. I knew it. Deep in my soul, I knew that the entire planet was full of forgotten magic, like veins of power under the surface. If I could only open one… maybe I could find a way to get my grandmother back to me. My parents even. And maybe I could find a way to stop Perdita’s death, because that’s what the curse was to her: a death sentence. That Nathan would mourn her was a guarantee, no matter how long my family all chose to ignore the consistent outcomes of our curse.
My grandmother’s death had only confirmed what we already knew, that the men in my family were cursed with lycanthropy, with the hunt for their soul mate, and with the early death of their beloved, and the curse would remain until a girl was born to break it. My birth, though, hadn’t changed anything. We learned that, for sure, when my brother unexpectedly turned into a werewolf for the first time at the age of sixteen.
Even if the curse didn’t kill Perdita, the werewolves who hunted us might. We weren’t sure if the wolves wanted to murder me so I couldn’t end the curse, or if they wanted to end Perdita’s life to lessen the chances of our family line continuing. Either way, they were out for blood, at least while the curse was active.
That thought worked as an incentive. That I needed help was a certainty. I didn’t know enough about what was to come or enough about my role in ending the curse. My grandmother had known a lot more than we ever expected, and maybe there were secrets she still had to share.
I lit the candles, shivering a little as the flames flickered and swayed as one. The tapers stayed lit, which was the main thing. I pulled out the spirit board and placed it on the floor in the centre of the candles. Mémère had once told me there was power in the flames, and more importantly, that they helped us focus. A lack of focus while dealing with a spirit board wasn’t a road I wanted to travel down, especially if its magic was real. All I needed to do was believe, and a whole new world would open up to me.
Staring at the flames, I realised I had always been open to more than my fair share of the unexplainable. I had always had faith. It was the one thing that got me through the horrors of the past, and the only thing that pulled me forward into my future. My faith was not based on religion so much as it was an optimism that everything would work out in the end. I had faith that I would find my way through the darkness and come through the other side a stronger, better person. A faith that I could ask for help, and help would be given, one way or another.
Something in my subconscious knew things I didn’t, and it was dying to let them out. I already held the secrets, and all I needed to do was find the key to opening them. I was ready for whatever I had been waiting for my entire life.
Excitement squirmed in my belly as I touched the cup on top of the spirit board. I hoped the board would work with me. A shiver ran through me as the latent energy came alive against my skin. I sensed the energy there, a wriggling darkness dying to escape. I had to make sure it didn’t, so I spoke words I’d heard Mémère say when Opa wasn’t around—words I’d read in books that offered protection or aimed to soothe, not provoke. All of the candles’ flames extinguished as one and then rekindled. A thrill of anticipation had the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up.
“I have respect for the board and respect for the other side. Protect this house, and let me speak to the one I need. Mémère? I really need you right now.”
The cup moved under my hands, hesitantly at first, then faster. Almost too fast, but I heard the words in my head and didn’t have to work them out as the cup raced from one letter to another.
The time is coming.
“Mémère?” I bit my bottom lip to stop a squeal.
Watch carefully.
“Watch out for what? What time is coming? My time? The curse?”
No. Her death.
“Whose death?” But I already knew, and a sinking feeling made me want to vomit.
Too soon. Unless.
“Unless what? What can I do? How can I help her, Mémère?”
My voice rose in desperation, but it was too late. Feeling cold again, I felt the spirit leave me. I tried to call Mémère back a couple more times, but there was nothing there. Blowing out the candles, I mused on how unfamiliar the spirit had felt to me, and how her words confused me. But it had to be Mémère. Who else would want to speak to me?
Then I remembered the message and the point of the whole spirit conversation. Perdita’s death was coming much faster than it should have been.
And I was the only one who could stop it.

***
Kali

Heading home alone from the village, her pouch full of shah, Kali didn’t notice the gang of teenage boys crossing the fields until the whistling and jeering started in the distance. She lowered her head and hurried on, hoping to make it back to camp before the boys worked up the courage to approach her. Their feet were almost silent on the dirt path, and when the shouts seemed to come from right behind her, she knew it was time to run.
“It’s the fortune teller!”
“What else do you sell?”
“Is this the witch?”
Hitching her skirts above her ankles, she ran as fast as she could, hoping nobody from camp would see her shame. She hoped she wouldn’t fall and that they would leave her alone. Her people wouldn’t fight back openly if any damage was done. They might even banish her if they thought she’d brought trouble onto herself. Her father’s reputation brought a harsher reaction to her deeds.
But as a novice chovihani and daughter to her father’s reputation, she might be expected to protect herself and dole out punishment by cursing the boys for their stupidity and ensuring they never harmed her again. As much as she wanted to scratch out the eyes of such ignorant fools, she knew she wouldn’t want the darkness of a curse on her conscience.
She heard the rasp of a breath and spun around to face one of the boys, forcing him to look her in the eye. She wasn’t small or dainty, and from experience, she knew that sometimes these kinds of boys lost their courage when face to face with their adversary. This boy chose to leer at her defiance.
“I bet she’s a wildcat, this one,” he said with a smirk, reaching for her. Horror left her unable to stop him. The chill of his dark, uncertain future swept over her, sickening her. He would regret his touch, she thought with a pang. She would have no choice.
Neither of them noticed the man approach until he lifted the boy off his feet and threw him to the ground like a ragdoll.
“Go home and learn some manners,” Marusya’s husband rumbled.
“’Twas your woman who told us she’s keen,” the boy insisted but then scrambled to his feet as the man took one step toward him. All the boys, although they outnumbered him, ran off, and resumed their shouting but from a good distance away.
She glanced at him again, watched his face tighten as he stared after them. He was beautiful, she realised. Truly beautiful. He was one of the few who were as good on the inside as they were on the outside. She felt the purity surrounding him and desperately wanted to touch it, absorb it, and take it for herself.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, catching her openly staring.
She shook her head.
He stood in front of her, but avoided her eyes, and twisted his cap in his hands. “Well, you better get on, then.”
She nodded, still in shock, not at the action of the boys, but at his assistance and her reaction to him. She jerkily turned to leave, and heard his footsteps behind her. She gazed back at him in surprise. He was following her.
“I’ll make sure they don’t come back. I… I know your people, that your women aren’t allowed to get… close, so I’ll walk behind. If that’s all right by you.”
She nodded, biting her lip as his beautiful, earnest eyes met hers fully for the first time and burned straight through her.
Married eyes, she warned herself. Outsider eyes.
She walked home slowly, fully aware of him the entire time. Some people had a presence that drew others in, and he was definitely that kind. She felt his eyes on her back and wondered why she couldn’t walk in a straight line, knowing he was there. He had helped her, even though his wife hated her and his people thought her less than nothing.
At the camp, Drina’s husband approached suspiciously and bypassed Kali to move directly to the man. They spoke for a number of minutes, and Kali couldn’t help watching the man’s facial expressions which seemed so different when he talked to a man, rather than a woman. Chewing her thumb, she waited for Drina’s husband to return. He only nodded at her as he passed, and she wondered what they had been talking about.
Most of all, she wondered why this married outsider had more of an effect on her with one look, than any of her own people had had on her in her entire life.

Chapter Five

Amelia

Sitting alone with Perdita, while the rest of my family wasn’t there, brought back memories. I shifted uncomfortably, afraid Perdita might actually talk about what happened, for once, on the day the werewolves had come for me.
Again, Perdita had been left to watch over me, which was testament to how little faith my uncle had in me. Nathan and Byron had gone hunting, a nice bonding experience that didn’t involve me. At least it meant I didn’t have to sit next to them and still feel completely alone, and I really did need to speak to Perdita. This time I wanted to talk about the dreams. I wasn’t even sure how to bring up the subject. Every single night without fail, I was another person. I saw her life through her eyes. I felt everything she felt, and none of it felt like a dream at all.
I’d been racking my brain, trying to understand why I was suddenly carrying the burden of realistic dreams that made no sense in relation to my current situation. Kali knew about werewolves, too, and that seemed to be the only real connection. So what was up with the über dreams?
A cushion hit me full in the face, startling me out of my thoughts.
“I hate when you do that,” Perdita said. “Spit it out, already.”
Where to start was the problem. The dreams didn’t feel dream-like. I lost myself to them. How could I explain how sick I was feeling and the headaches that made me feel as though I might be dying? How did I explain that a spirit had warned me of Perdita’s death coming sooner than expected? Yeah, where to start was definitely the problem.
“This is going to sound stupid,” I said at last, still stalling.
She gave me a “here we go” look, but when I began describing the dreams, she suddenly acted interested.
“Soul mate?” she asked breathlessly.
I wished. “No. Well. Not mine, anyway. It’s as if I’m in somebody else’s body, as if I’m living their life, and it feels so real, but then I wake up, and I’m me again.”
That’s where I lost her. She didn’t believe me, as per usual. Perdita, the freaking sceptic. I knew the dreams weren’t normal, and even as I tried to explain the last one to her, she didn’t get it. Nobody would understand.
“Maybe you’ve been thinking about the curse a lot,” she said.
“Why?”
“Gypsies?”
I realised I was forgetting what I had been born to do.
“Maybe this has to do with breaking the curse,” I said.
She gave me a careless shrug in response, but I was sure of it now. My brain was forcing me to think about gypsies and gypsy magic, to think about the important things. Like Perdita’s face when I mentioned the curse-breaking, as though she wasn’t happy about it.
That made no sense at all. The curse was her death sentence. I had to figure out some way of ending it. She knew quite well that had always been the plan, once the danger of an attack from other werewolves was over, except the danger was creeping closer to Perdita. The spirit board had convinced me I was running out of time.
I didn’t want to remind Perdita of what being with Nathan would mean to her, so I saved it all up for him, instead.
“I think they’re back,” I said, hearing a soft click marking a door closing.
Perdita stood, but I held up my hands. “Trust me, you’ll want him to shower first.”
She grimaced, and I couldn’t help laughing. There were a few good things about being the only one in my family who didn’t turn into a furry hunter.
“So what exactly happens in these dreams?” she asked after a few minutes, but I could see her tensing as she waited for Nathan.
“Lots of things. Boring things, mostly. But this girl is powerful. She’s like some kind of… witch… or maybe a shaman. She’s been learning about natural medicines and things like that for years, and she has this power under the surface. In the dream I can feel it. I mean really feel it. It’s kind of addictive. Waking up is a bit of a let-down.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t ever say that, Amelia.”
Shrugging, I looked away. “I’m just telling the truth.”
“I know, but I’m counting on you to keep waking up.”
She laughed then, and I tried to shake myself out of the melancholy I’d developed. Another headache was setting in, which made it harder for me to act normal.
“So, has she cast any curses, then?” she asked, still in that joking sort of voice.
“She doesn’t do that,” I said haughtily, feeling irrationally insulted.
“Oh, come on! She isn’t real.”
“She feels real. And I’m sure she’s mentioned something about werewolves, but I can’t remember exactly…”
Nathan barrelled into the room, and lifted Perdita into the air. I felt instantly forgotten.
“Ugh. Get a room,” I snapped as Perdita squealed with delight.
I stalked off to my room, my anger simmering over. They took care of each other in ways I could never understand. They automatically knew when they needed each other. So what was left for me?
So, yeah, I was jealous because I didn’t have anyone for me. I shared Perdita’s friendship with Nathan.
Perdita knocked softly on my bedroom door, perhaps wanting to say good night.
“I’m in bed. Another migraine,” I lied, although the thudding was definitely growing stronger.
“Oh.” She paused. “Well, I’ll talk to you at the memorial then.”
I waited for her footsteps to move away from my room. I knew Nathan would walk her home, and again, I was irrationally irritated by their closeness. I had been left out of everything my whole life—kept in the dark—and the rage that had been boiling in my ears for weeks had burned into my veins, making me ready for a fight.
Byron called Nathan to his office as soon as he came back, closing the door after them. More secrets. More exclusion.
I wanted to scream my outrage. Tension flickered in my hands as though an electrical current sparked my fingertips, and only the whimper of a wolfhound next to me forced me to calm down and gulp down my anger. When Nathan ran up the stairs, flooding my senses with his bad temper, I worked myself up into a rage all over again. I threw open my bedroom door and walked out to block him.
“We need to talk about Perdita,” I told him, leaning on the banisters.
“Not now,” he said gruffly, but I got in his way.
“I’m serious. We still need to figure out a way to end the curse, remember?”
He looked stricken, and I knew, for sure, that things were getting out of hand.
“There has to be someone out there who knows what to do. It needs to end, Nathan.”
“Not yet,” he said.
“Why? You’ve always wanted to rid yourself of this stupid curse. Why change your mind now?”
He refused to look at me. “I like things the way they are.”
“You like… have you always been so jaw-droppingly stupid, or am I only just now seeing the real you?”
He growled at me and flared his nostrils.
“Don’t pull out the wolf crap on me,” I said, barely controlling a snort of indignation. “She’s going to die. Have you forgotten that?”
“She won’t die. I won’t let anything hurt her.”
“Are you forgetting diseases? Car crashes? The million and one other things that might kill her before her time?”
“Her dad’s a doctor. And I’ll keep her away from traffic.” He gave a twisted half-smile. “Maybe you’ve already changed the curse and made it so she won’t die.”
“Nathan, I…”
“Nobody’s taking her away from me, okay?”
He brushed past me, leaving me standing there open-mouthed. He had officially lost it. Perdita was going to die, and he was prepared to let it happen, just to keep his stupid bond with her. I was pretty sure she would allow him to do nothing, too. Idiots.
They thought they could fight the curse, control it, but they were already completely infected. They couldn’t see straight for the power controlling their destinies.
Well, they were both lucky they had me. I still had enough brains left in my head to make sure I ended the curse before anyone else got hurt.
One way or another, once and for all, I would make it end.

***

Kali

Every day, when she left the village, he followed her. She didn’t know his name. She knew little about him at all, but she felt she could trust him. There was no wickedness there, and she wished she could hold his palm in her hand and see a happy ending for him. He was honourable, taking it upon himself to protect her because his wife had gone out of her way to cause her harm. The women in the village had gossiped to her in loud whispers, telling her that Marusya had it in for her now. She wasn’t afraid, and she kept the delicious secret of her defender to herself.
Still, the women whispered mean, ruthless tales of Marusya’s weaknesses, and how she had always lived, friendless and strange, outside the village. She took care of the house while her mother lay in bed all day before she died. From what, nobody knew. The women were mean-spirited, but their comments went beyond simple dislike. The women were afraid of Marusya for some reason. Kali could hear it in the tremor of their voices when they spoke her name. They scorned her because they feared her.
“It’s such a waste of a handsome boy,” said a pretty young girl with corn-yellow ringlets and dreamy eyes.
“Boy? He’s a man at least a summer since,” said an older woman with a husky laugh. “I hear he has his eyes on you.”
Kali raised her eyes instantly, but the woman wasn’t speaking to her. In fact, half the time, they seemed to forget she was there at all. She had picked up a lot of information this way, plenty of secrets and gossip, and she really shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was by the lack of morals in the village. This particular village seemed different than others, darker in some way. She saw the shadows haunting the streets and knew the people were drawing them in somehow.
The blond girl sighed dramatically. “He danced with me once, before the old hag got her claws into him.”
“Claws are right,” another said. “Claws made of gold.” Her cue for more cackling laughter.
“But,” she added, “he came along and paid me double after she smashed my eggs on purpose. She was spitting mad, but he didn’t listen to her. He was brought up well by his mother. It’s a terrible pity what they had to do with him.”
Grave nods all around ended that conversation, and Kali swallowed a scream of frustration. She needed to hear the rest of the story and listened for more mentions of Marusya’s husband, but the women had already moved on to another topic. She hadn’t even picked up his name, as all of the men were referred to in their relation to the woman taking care of their homes: husband, brother, or son. The men had no real identities there.
Kali rushed through the rest of the mostly predictable readings in her hurry to return home. She knew he would stop accompanying her eventually, but every time he walked behind her, she caught at least one glimpse of him before he left. The entire day was worth that one look she allowed herself. The more she saw of him, the more she longed for him.
Other girls her age had talked in excited whispers about the boys they liked, at least before they were married, and she had witnessed her own sisters fawning over boys from afar often enough to recognise what was happening to her.
The important difference was that the other girls in her camp took a liking to available boys—to gypsy boys. She was falling for someone who was all wrong for a million reasons, which didn’t stop her wishing to speak to him or her dreaming about him. A tremble of excitement bubbled in her stomach from morning ’til night because of him, and she had never felt more vibrant. Life thrummed within her whenever she thought of him. She knew, deep down, that she was putting a complete stranger on a pedestal, but she felt good and the situation felt right.
Except it was wrong, in every sense of the word.

Chapter Six

Amelia

I woke up feeling… disturbed. Disturbed by the dreams, the emotions I had felt. I realised I was becoming eager for sleep so I could catch another image of the dream boy/man’s face. I was definitely losing my mind. I blamed my mental state on the fact my grandmother’s memorial service was happening soon.
I wasn’t really sure why we were going through with it. Byron wasn’t interested, so he paid some woman to look after everything. Opa hadn’t returned, so he clearly wasn’t bothered. My cousin Jeremy hadn’t come back at all, even though we’d lost a family member, and that said it all really.
In fact, I was the only one looking forward to it. There hadn’t been a proper funeral and no real chance to say goodbye. The memorial would hopefully erase all of those memories.
The morning was hectic. Guests’ incessant knocking at the door made me feel as though we were running late. Vaguely familiar people turned up, some not familiar at all, but all of them a piece of Mémère’s past. And Opa’s.
In the end, Nathan dragged me to the community hall early. I could tell by the look on his face that he was tired of getting his hopes up every time the doorbell rang. Every single time we both started, thinking it might be Opa, but he never showed. So we sat in the community hall as people swiftly moved things around in preparation.
“We should probably help,” I ventured.
“We’ll only get in the way.”
I stared at my brother, unable to look away. Only a couple of seats from me, and yet he felt light years away. There had always been a distance between us. Aside from the protective big brother act, he never really showed me his heart. Once he started turning into a werewolf, the gulf only expanded.
Then Perdita came along, and he directed his attention completely toward her. Even before she knew he cared, she was all he cared about. I thought pushing them together would bring us closer, but all it did was shove me onto the sidelines, yet again. Since Mémère’s death, I had felt completely alone. I knew he cared about me, but sometimes he forgot I existed. He was the closest family I had, though sometimes I felt as though I’d lost everyone the day Mémère died.
Byron turned up at the community hall and came over to us, but we might have been three strangers. A constant tension filled the air, along with uncomfortable silences or awkward conversations. I didn’t want the atmosphere to touch me, but it clung on tight, and I couldn’t shake it off.
A dark-haired woman approached Byron, asking for a moment of his time. Her eyes were hungry on his, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or rather, he chose to ignore it. He had closed off his heart a long time ago, even to us. The brunette had directed most of the work for the service. I had no idea what her name was, and she never once met my eyes.
“Can you two greet people who turn up?” Byron asked before turning away from us.
With a heavy sigh, Nathan stood and hauled me up after him. “Let’s go welcome the natives.”
“Not just natives,” I reminded as I followed him.
People attending the memorial trickled in, and most of them getting this look on their faces when they took in the colours in the room. Widening eyes, bemused whispers; it became a little predictable really.
I was surprised to see Abbi approach with her parents. Nathan had told me that most of his classmates would be at the match, instead. Abbi smiled weakly, but her eyes brightened when she turned to Nathan. He led her and her parents to their seats, and I followed Nathan to the front of the room.
“What’s the deal with her?” I whispered, trying not to look around.
“She’s a good friend. I keep telling you that.” He looked annoyed at my question.
“She likes you?” I felt the waves of anger roll off him, but when he spoke, he was completely calm.
“As a friend. That’s all. Why do I feel as though you’re accusing me of something, Amelia?”
“I’m not.” I bit my lip. “I just… Perdita’s my friend.”
He lowered his voice, his eyes stern. He suddenly reminded me of Byron, and I had to swallow a hysterical giggle. “And Perdita’s my mate. Nobody can come between that.”
His jaw twitched, and I thought he might keep going, knowing his comment was directed mostly at me, but he was suddenly distracted. He turned around, and there she was at the door. Perdita. For once I was glad he forgot about everything else when she was around. I hadn’t liked his tone when he said my mate. Too possessive. Too… unlike Nathan.
He moved toward her without another word, and she stepped toward him at the same time, apparently unable to contain herself. Watching them gravitate toward each other was kind of beautiful, in a really sad way, considering they both knew their relationship would end tragically, one way or another. The way they felt was so obvious in how they looked at each other, and I scrambled to take my camera out of my bag and get a shot of them greeting each other.
They touched hands, both of them brightening as one, but the camera also picked up her dad behind her, and he looked entirely unimpressed. He was polite to Nathan, but I could see the tension in his jaw and how difficult it was for him when she walked away. His blond girlfriend, Erin, laid her hand on his arm as he stared after Perdita, and he turned his gaze back to Erin, true love softening his expression. I tried to hold in a sigh. I wanted that. That look they all reserved for the person who held a chunk of their heart in his or her hands. I wanted someone to look at me like that and to love me like that. But I didn’t even have familial love anymore.
As I took my seat, I realised Abbi had that same look of longing on her face when she watched Perdita and Nathan together, and I almost felt sorry for her. She never had a chance.
Perdita seemed pleased to see me, although her cheeks reddened as she took in the room, and she automatically hid behind her long, auburn hair. All eyes were on her, always her. She might have been the least assuming person I knew, but when she and Nathan were together, everyone craned their necks for a good look at them. I wasn’t sure if it was to see if Perdita’s and Nathan’s feelings were for real, or to gawk at a mismatched couple. But their intensity for each other grabbed everyone’s attention and didn’t let go, as if everyone drank up what the two projected to each other. Of course, the attention made Perdita uncomfortable whenever she became aware of it. Which didn’t happen too often; she was usually too zoned in on Nathan to think about anyone else. At the service, she noticed, and she squirmed in her seat until she had me as nervous as she obviously felt.
I tried to get her attention, to make her feel better, but she was leaning against Nathan, so she didn’t need me for anything. I stared at a point on the wall, hoping I would get through the memorial, when all of a sudden I felt Nathan’s anger like a spike, so strong that it seemed to hit even me. Perdita winced as his grip on her hand must have tightened, and I glanced back to see what had grabbed Nathan’s attention and anger.
Byron. Jeremy.
Opa.
My heart sang in my chest, but my grandfather didn’t even look at me as he took his seat. All feelings of elation left me, and I tried not to stare at him. Why wasn’t he happy to see me? The memorial service began, and I tried to pay attention to the stories told, but I couldn’t because I was confused. I couldn’t ignore the man who’d taken care of me as a father for all of those years, though he didn’t seem to be that man anymore. He didn’t even look the same. His ordinarily short silver hair had grown long. His beard was almost beyond the irritatingly scratchy stage. But it was his eyes that got to me. They had no depth, no feeling and were blank, bloodshot eyes which took us in as if he didn’t recognise us. I barely controlled the shiver that ran through my body. What had happened to us?
In the end, I managed to listen to some of the stories, feeling a certain kind of unexpected bliss at the idea my grandmother wouldn’t be easily forgotten by other people besides myself. Afterward, most of us took all of the vibrant plants that decorated the room to the graveyard. I was glad to see Abbi didn’t join us. The fact that she was friends with Dawn was all the reason I needed to be glad. I would never forget how they treated me on my first day at school.
On the way to the graveyard, I heard some “old biddies,” as Perdita called them, openly mock us for the “performance,” but I didn’t care. They meant nothing to me. They couldn’t hurt me.
My family could.
I tried to take my grandfather’s hand, a movement I’d made a million times before, but he shrugged me off and edged away, leaving me feeling as though a bucket of ice-cold water had been thrown all over me. I tried to speak to Nathan, but he brushed me off as well, tightening up with a rage I couldn’t explain. Tired of everyone, I stuck by Perdita, who seemed as annoyed by Nathan as I was. I liked that about her. She could still be bothered by him, and she didn’t automatically run after him when he acted like a… like a… werewolf.
My grandmother had been too submissive on the rare occasion Opa was being unreasonable. She’d give in without a fuss and wait for the sweetness and light to come back. I had always assumed her easy forgiveness was a symptom of the curse. Now I wasn’t so sure. Then again, I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. The uncertainty seemed to clog my pores, making it hard for me to follow through on a thought.
Perdita still managed to irritate me, putting on her sceptical face when I mentioned leaving flowers on old graves. I didn’t want to be forgotten; why would anyone else? It bothered me that she still had that narrow-minded reaction to anything new, despite everything that had happened. She would see so much more to life if she could open her mind. I supposed I should have gone easier on her. After all, something supernatural was going to kill her before her time. Maybe her denying what was out there helped her cope.
On the way back, Byron beckoned me to walk next to him. All five of my family members grouped together, but we had no closeness or unity.
“Be polite to the guests,” Opa said under his breath. “And let’s hope this is over as quickly as possible.”
“This is supposed to be special,” I blurted in surprise.
He turned his head to glare at me. “There is nothing special about this exposure.”
“Mémère would have liked it,” Nathan insisted, and I felt grateful for the support, particularly when the scorn coming from Jeremy’s direction was enough to last me a lifetime.
“It’s about time you all faced up to the fact she’s gone,” Opa said bitterly before speeding up to speak to Jeremy alone.
Nathan and Byron exchanged glances that seemed to say they knew what the other was thinking. Walking between them, I was left out, yet again.
The tension only increased at home. The people, our neighbours, all wanted to nose about and see how we lived. And we put ourselves on show. For what? I had no idea. I didn’t have much time to consider it because Opa demanded an audience with all of us, including Perdita. It was clear to me how much he had changed. Byron looked as though he could barely contain himself, but he said and did nothing. A part of me shriveled up inside, because I didn’t recognise my grandfather anymore. I had hoped Byron would fix things and make everything go back to normal, but perhaps that wasn’t possible.
Byron kept quiet, even as Opa acted like a stranger and insulted people. Only Nathan spoke up, which got us kicked out of the not so happy reunion. We didn’t learn anything except the fact that Jeremy had been in Turkey. Oh, and Opa had somehow had his body possessed. At least I hoped that was the reason he was acting so coldly toward us.
The cause of Nathan’s bad mood soon revealed itself. He’d gotten into his head that Jeremy was some kind of cradle-snatching pervert who had set his heart on Perdita. Jeremy laughed it off, but he had been staring at Perdita. I knew why, and the reason was not because he wanted her for himself. No, everyone wanted to see the one who had stepped up and taken action in the face of danger. She was the heroine of the piece, the one who hadn’t fallen apart at the seams.
So when he made fun of her, I laughed. And I wasn’t ashamed. I wanted someone else to know how it felt to be seen as the helpless little girl for a change.
The conversation bored me, or so I pretended. I couldn’t bear listening to Nathan and Jeremy go on and on about how freaking awesome it was to be a werewolf. Up until recently, becoming a werewolf was that one thing out of my grasp that I’d desperately wanted, but not anymore, not since I saw firsthand what werewolves were capable of doing. I wasn’t part of the gang, so I dragged Perdita away, though the others seemed to barely notice.
I tried to make conversation with her, but she was so on edge that her nerves played on mine, until I had to hang out with her family to calm down.
“Hey, Mrs. Rivers. Oh, wait, that’s wrong. Isn’t it?”
Perdita’s grandmother grinned at me. “It’s Mrs. Devlin, actually. But you can call me Ruth.”
“Can I get you a drink or food or anything?”
“No, but thank you. This has been a really lovely day, Amelia. I’m sure your grandmother would be very proud of the way you’ve handled yourself today. She certainly made sure you were brought up well.”
Her words were meaningless platitudes, but I had to look away to wipe the tear from my eye. I felt relaxed being around people who had no idea werewolves existed. Perdita was paranoid all of the time, and then there was the guilt. How I wished she would get over the whole murder issue. I was frustrated watching her suffer at her own hands. After all, she took down the bad guy. Wasn’t that how the story was supposed to end? Weren’t we supposed to get some kind of happy ever after?
Um, no.
Maybe the lies hadn’t ended. I glared at my grandfather who spoke to Perdita. How did I know they were keeping me up to date on what was going on? I was Amelia, the afterthought or the kid who had to be wrapped up in cotton wool. Take your pick. I wanted to feel something other than regret or loneliness. I wanted to know if I should be afraid or not. Byron kept reassuring me, but I was aware that he never left me alone. My entire world had changed, and I didn’t know how to move on from that. Apparently, neither did Perdita.
I watched her from afar as she fidgeted at her bracelet and twisted her hair, her eyes darting from side to side as if an attack would come at any second. The girl was a nervous wreck, which made her almost impossible to be around.
Not that I could talk. I was as angry as Nathan. A growing aggression snaked around my body, suffocated me with its intensity, and squeezed the happiness from me. I wanted to scream, and make someone listen so I could demand answers. I was the kid nobody was paying attention to, and I could only hear answers they felt I should hear. That sucked.
Ruth tensed next to me. “What on earth is your grandfather doing?”
Coming back to earth, I watched him grip Perdita’s arm while she twisted to get away.
I had no idea what was going on—as usual—but I had a feeling I needed to distract Ruth. Words, though, wouldn’t rise to my lips. Once again, I was ineffective when needed, the story of my life.
Perdita ran off, shouting something, and my grandfather followed her with a creepy smile on his face. Ruth frowned at me, but before she could speak, the screaming started. For a second, I froze.
“Perdy,” Ruth choked out.
“I… I’ll check on her,” I stuttered, then saw the shock and confusion on the faces of the people around me. Some of them ran outside in the directions of the screams, and I followed. Blood spread in a pool on the ground, and Perdita screamed at my grandfather.
My mouth watered.
Horrified, I held my breath, but I was still affected. I could almost taste the tang of blood on my tongue. I knew Perdita would never forgive me because her father lay on the ground, so badly injured from a werewolf attack that he couldn’t get back up. She caught my eye. She was so angry, and I did nothing because I could have sworn she saw the guilt in my eyes.
Everything happened in a mad rush after that. People ran around, their voices confused and frightened as they discussed wild dogs. The ambulance and police showed up. Nathan’s pupils dilated rapidly as his wolf fought for control. Byron finally sent him indoors. I couldn’t handle much more of the chaos and tension.
Everything that was happening was my fault. The werewolves had come for me in the first place. Also, I had wished ill will on Perdita. My wish had come through in ways I had never wanted.
“Opa! What’s happening?” I asked, relief flooding through me at the sight of him striding toward me. He would fix everything.
“Not now.” He literally pushed me aside.
I searched the house for Nathan, but I found him in a rage, and his anger terrified me enough to send me running away from him. I sobbed as I curled up on the sofa, but Jeremy ignored me, his stance tense as he waited for everyone to leave. Even Nathan didn’t say a word when he finally came downstairs. And then we all gathered together, the entire family. I watched their faces and saw the hate, distrust and betrayal. I was so confused. Opa made it sound as if he’d wanted the female wolf, who had stalked Perdita for months, to attack her dad, but that couldn’t be true. No matter what had happened, I couldn’t believe my Opa would ever want another person to be hurt for any reason. So why did he order Nathan to stay away from Perdita?
I knew I couldn’t face her. She would see the guilt in my eyes and sense the things I had done to wrong her. I had wished her pain. I had wanted to taste the blood. Some instinct deep inside me had longed for it. What was I turning into?
I hated myself.
Nathan ran off, and I was sent out of the room as if I were a child. I hung around outside the room and listened in on Opa’s conversation, but I wished I hadn’t. His explanations only made everything worse.
“None of this makes sense,” Byron said. “Why would you allow them to attack us if you knew they would come? Why wouldn’t you warn us? Ensure that we kept people away from the house?”
“They need to think we’re distracted by today. That we’re easy to get to,” Opa replied earnestly.
“And at least we know they’re around now,” Jeremy added.
“If you thought she’d come for him, then why allow him to be here at all? Why did anyone have to get hurt? Have you any idea how much more complicated this makes life here for us? All eyes are on us. We can’t make a move.” Byron sounded furious.
“We won’t be sticking around after this,” Opa said. I gasped. I didn’t want to move. Not again. Opa must have heard me because he rushed from the room to confront me.
“What are you doing?” he shouted.
“I… nothing. I’m waiting for Nathan,” I stuttered, for the first time in my life truly afraid of my grandfather. He made the most of his height, inching toward me menacingly as if I were the enemy.
“Get upstairs.” The growl rumbled in his throat, and a shiver of something new ran through me. As if compelled, I turned around and ran straight upstairs. I couldn’t stop myself. I hid in my bedroom until Nathan returned to his own room. I listened to him pace, and I flinched as something was flung at the wall and landed with a loud thud.
I worked up the courage to knock on Nathan’s bedroom door so I could get all my concerns off my chest, but when he let me in, I couldn’t find the right words. I made it worse for both of us.
He asked me to go see Perdita because Opa had used an alpha order to keep him away from her, but I couldn’t say yes. I hadn’t even really believed Nathan would obey that particular rule until I found myself moving unwillingly at Opa’s command. I knew I made Nathan hate me by refusing to go and visit Perdita on his behalf, but how could I possibly face her again? He was so angry… angrier than I had ever seen him before. I didn’t want to discuss it, so I took the only way out. I cried and ran away.
Opa called us all together for dinner later on, which was more awkward than ever. Nathan and Jeremy left soon afterwards, while Byron and Opa holed themselves up in Byron’s office, leaving me alone.
I used the spirit board again. I couldn’t help myself. There was nothing else for me to do, and I felt as though my skin couldn’t contain me. I might explode for want of doing something. The presence stayed for a couple of minutes, but only repeated the same couple of sentences.
He will use you. He will sacrifice you.

***

Kali

“Take Dog with you,” her father called out after her. “The locals are getting twitchy. They’ll think twice with the mutt.” Drina’s husband had forbidden her from going into town for a while, which left Kali alone every day, apart from Dog. In a way, she was glad because Drina’s presence might scare off her protector. Besides, Dog was good company.
Dog was a large wolfhound, given to her father as payment when he provided a fertility potion that led to a healthy set of twins. The dog was good for hunting, which gave him value, but he had a large stomach which negated his value. Her father had decided Dog might be of use as a guard dog, if the need arose.
Kali knew Dog was harmless—loyal and protective—but ultimately harmless. Drina had relayed how her husband warned their father that Kali needed protection, and Dog was his solution. She wondered exactly how many days would pass before her father needed Dog more than he needed her to be safe.
The locals were abrupt with her that day, maybe because of the dog or because of the rumours that suddenly abounded. The negative effect on her business didn’t matter to her, but it mattered to her father, which was why she had some additional tricks up her sleeves. She enticed some young girls with promises of spells and potions, and by the end of the day, her basket was overflowing with trades.
On the way home, she saw Marusya’s husband again, this time waiting on the grassy edge of the track. He stared up at her as she approached, and again, she ignored the shivers that ran through her. She passed him, and he followed her, again. She realised how disappointed she would have been if he didn’t.
She ventured a glance behind her. Their eyes met, but since he said not a word, she kept walking.
Men were trouble, this one especially. The men back at camp wanted to use her to raise their station and to father the guardian wolves. They had no love for her, only a need for glory and riches. Her father especially used her more than anyone. If a father could do that, then who knew what a husband would do? Drina’s new clan didn’t really care what happened to Kali. She sometimes wished they would forget all about her, so she could slip away in the night, except her face was too well known, and her hands bore too much value.
If only she had been daughter number six. No more responsibilities aside from the ordinary ones. She could have left, and maybe even settled down with one of the gaje, if the right one had come along, the right unmarried one.
She couldn’t help glancing back at him one last time before she made it to camp. His blue eyes shone from his sunburned face, and his bulky arms were tanned almost as dark as herself. Her stomach seemed to whirl around inside her whenever he was close by. His expression was not unlike hers.
There lay the danger.
She couldn’t look at him through the same cynical eyes she observed everyone else. She couldn’t see him as one who would use her. He wasn’t anything like the men around her. She knew, somehow with certainty, that this was a man who didn’t need her for what she could earn. He needed something, though. That was painfully clear.
Her pouch was ripped from her waist by her father as soon as she stepped into camp. He ordered away the dog.
“More tomorrow,” was all her father growled.
Drina greeted her with a lot more love, gazing with interest in the basket, but her face looked pinched. The black bags under her eyes were more noticeable than before.
Kali rested a hand on Drina’s swollen belly. “Heavy?”
Drina nodded with a weary smile. “Today’s not been easy.”
“I can make something for you.”
“Thank you. My big, skulking man over there wants to know if you had any trouble today.”
“And yet our father doesn’t care either way.” Kali couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“Now, now. You know better than that,” Drina chided, but she cupped Kali’s cheek with her hand. “Try to be happy with your lot, my sister. I keep telling you it’s easier if you accept it.”
Kali’s smile was weak. If only it were that easy.
Something inside her was more than willing to fight tooth and nail against her destiny.

Chapter Seven

Amelia

I didn’t get up for school the following day. Nobody asked why. They were all too busy making plans to hunt and track enemy werewolves. For the first time in ages I was free. Nobody was forced to babysit me, and I wasn’t told to stay indoors. I should have felt relieved, but mostly, I felt forgotten.
The day before, Nathan had asked me to find out what was happening with Perdita’s dad, but nobody I texted knew anything. No news was scary. When I thought about Perdita, and how awful she must have been feeling, my guilt multiplied.
I kept remembering the way my mouth had watered at her father’s blood, which pretty much devastated me. I couldn’t tell a soul about it because I was afraid they wouldn’t understand. Nobody in my family had ever mentioned anything like that happening to them before they turned, so I couldn’t even blame my desire for blood on the whole werewolf thing. After all, there wasn’t any real reason it would happen to me. Only the men in my family were meant to turn into werewolves.
I moved downstairs to get better reception on my phone when I overheard my grandfather whispering to Jeremy while Byron and Nathan waited outside.
“Don’t let him near her,” he said.
“Don’t you think—”
“I mean it, Jeremy. This isn’t the time. I want her lured in again, but next time with her companions by her side. That won’t be possible if he chases her away.”
Remembering how Opa had acted the last time he caught me listening, I slipped upstairs quietly, needing some space to think.
After a couple of minutes, I heard the front door slam, and I watched out the window as the trio ran off.
Nathan was right about Opa. He couldn’t be trusted any more. My dreams were pretty much a lesson about not trusting the men in charge, and now why I shouldn’t trust them was all coming to life for me. My head pounded again, but I knew I had to confront Opa. If he was willing to use Perdita and her dad as bait, then what would he do with me?
Plucking up the courage, I went back downstairs and walked straight into Opa’s office without knocking. Opa looked confused, but he didn’t kick me out.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed. “I’m doing what has to be done.”
“And does that include using me as bait?”
“What are you talking about?”
“If you think the werewolves are after me, are you going to use me to lure them in?”
A flicker of regret crossed his face, and that broke me completely. All of my suspicions were coming true. He didn’t even deny he wanted to use me as bait.
“At least I know,” I squeaked before running back upstairs again. I pulled out the spirit board, desperate to connect with someone, anyone, but no spirit answered. Frustrated, I kicked it away from me and leaned against the foot of my bed. I had nowhere to turn and no one I could trust. The walls might as well have closed in on me; I felt so confined in my room, wishing I could be outside looking up at Kali’s stars. I wandered around the house, trying to find a spot I could breathe, but even the garden felt as though it were a cage.
When Nathan returned, he appeared more stressed than when he left.
“Anything?” I asked when he joined me in the living room.
“No news. You hear anything?”
“Nobody knows anything yet.”
He looked so broken, so desperate, that my heart panged for him, and I knew I couldn’t tell him what I had overheard. The knowledge would shatter everything he believed in, if even I confirmed the worst about Opa. I had to let him have some hope.
“You could go to the hospital,” he said, but it sounded as though he were on autopilot.
“She won’t want me there.” I wished he understood, but I could never tell him how I had reacted when her dad was hurt. He would never forgive me. He would never understand.
“We’ll talk to Joey tomorrow.” He sounded defeated, but he stared hard at me. “You look exhausted.”
“I haven’t slept much lately.”
“Those dreams again?”
I was embarrassed that he knew the dreams were affecting me so badly, but they had begun to overshadow my real world problems.
“They’re intense,” I admitted. “I wake up feeling like I’m a different person. It’s kind of freaking me out.”
Worry tightened his face. “Maybe you should talk to Byron.”
I felt badly for worrying him, so I tried to brush it off. “Maybe it’s not anything supernatural. I feel like I’m coming down with the flu again, too.”
Stress filled his voice as he asked me about the last dream, but I couldn’t even begin to explain it to him. I ventured to tell him something that had been bugging me, though. The dreams had seemed so real and were always about the same people. They brought out such a fierce reaction in me.
“Do you think maybe it’s like a memory or something?” I asked
He paid attention then. “How could it be a memory?”
I hesitated, but I had to get it off my chest. “Like… a past life or something. Mémère believed in reincarnation. She said we all get a second chance at life.”
I knew I made a mistake as soon as I heard his reply which was tinged with laughter. “You think you were a gypsy in a past life? Think maybe you’re the one who cursed us?”
That bothered me, and I ignored him for a while. Nobody ever gave me the benefit of the doubt. They all insisted on casting scorn and doubt on everything I believed. How dare they?
Byron and Jeremy returned, bringing news that a number of werewolves had been hanging around the hospital, and I feared for Perdita more than anyone else.
Opa waded into the middle of the conversation which made everything a million times worse. Nathan stormed off and left me to listen to the ensuing argument.
“You have to take back that command,” Byron said, referring to Opa banning Nathan from seeing Perdita.
“It’s necessary.”
“How the hell could that be necessary? You heard what we said a minute ago, didn’t you? Werewolves are stalking Perdita’s family because of us. Our responsibility is to protect them.”
“Is it?” Opa sounded so offhand and uncaring that I cringed in my seat, and wished something mystical would whisk me away from the awful atmosphere. Jeremy stood next to Opa, glaring at his own father, which was terrible to watch.
“There’s only room for one alpha,” Jeremy told Byron. “Maybe we should give him our trust.”
“None of this makes sense,” Byron insisted.
“You will do as I say. No more arguing tonight,” Opa said in that tone of voice again, the one that sent cold shivers down my spine.
Byron spluttered, but no words came out. With his cheeks flushing red to purple and fury burning in his eyes, he strode from the room. Jeremy had the audacity to laugh at him. I couldn’t stand another second of it.
“Maybe you’re the one who needs a lesson in respect,” I snapped at him before running up to my room to hide away.
My family was falling apart.

***

Kali

The day had been long and difficult. Some of the women had argued with her about her foretelling, how her visions weren’t possible because they didn’t reveal what the women themselves wanted. She couldn’t help what she saw, and she couldn’t help them if they kept living for “what ifs.”
She longed to make the journey back to the camp, but not because she wanted to be with her people. What she wanted was that one glimpse, that one glance back at the beautiful young man who followed her. The embarrassing truth was she needed that glimpse of him; she thrived on it.
She sensed him behind her, and imagined the dust lifting from his every step. He was protecting her, yet he never spoke to her. He probably had little idea of how she felt whenever she saw him.
Maybe he saw her as a child. The young women of the village curled their hair with rags and stained their cheeks and lips to make their images more appealing. The only decoration Kali had was her brightly coloured skirts which she couldn’t allow a man to touch. She was strong, rather than curvaceous, and she knew she wasn’t the prettiest of her sisters. Among her people, social stature came with age and motherhood, but surely she deserved more than to be thought of as a child.
Perhaps he saw a witch, someone to fear, when he gazed at her. His actions could be an attempt to stave off her anger instead of the generous protection she had assumed.
Worse, he might see her as less than human. She had been judged by many, but she couldn’t bear for such harsh judgement to come from him.
Agitated, and with her ego more than a little bruised, she realised one glimpse wasn’t enough for her anymore. She shouldn’t allow a man to follow her home every single evening when she didn’t even know his name. She stopped short and turned around, determined to speak to him. Dog growled, but she placed a hand on the animal’s neck to quiet him.
“Why?” she demanded.
The man came closer, giving a little shrug as he pushed the sleeves of his shirt higher on his arms.
“You insulted my wife, and she spread rumours about you. As it was my wife who made this walk dangerous for you, I thought it was my responsibility to make sure no harm comes to you this way.”
“She insulted me and you!” Kali blurted.
He smiled, and her knees weakened. “I’m used to it. It means little to me.”
“Well, it means a lot to me,” she insisted. “Surely a man wouldn’t stand to be treated that way?” She immediately regretted her words.
The corners of his lips turned down. “Most see me as a boy.”
He wasn’t a boy, not to her, not with his muscular shoulders and arms from working the farm.
“I didn’t mean any harm,” she said, hesitating as she tried to think of a way to change the subject. “What age are you?”
“Eighteen.”
“Eighteen? But she must be…” Kali covered her mouth.
He smiled. “Older? Yes. My family has always been poor. Most of us here live under the whims of the landowners. Her family wasn’t one of the very wealthy, but they worked hard to buy land. In fact, her family owned the land we worked on, and with it, the roof over our heads. The rent wasn’t high, but when my father died, my mother fell behind on payments. She ended up owing money to everyone. Marusya's father had no sons, and his only daughter had come to terms with being a spinster. Still, he couldn’t bear to dip into his pockets to pay the wage for a farmhand, so he offered us a deal.” He cleared his throat, and she could see how hard it was for him to tell the story.
“What was the deal?” she whispered, rooted to the spot.
“No eviction if we gave him a son-in-law. My eldest brother was already married. My younger one was too young, so it was left to me. They had money. My family didn’t, and they needed me to… do something about it.”
“What age were you?” she asked, intrigued that even the gaje had strange ways of arranging a marriage.
“Almost sixteen.”
“I’m sixteen. I should have been married by now.”
“Why aren’t you?”
She smiled. “I’m special. And I’ve got Dog here to protect me, so you don’t have to follow me around. I’m used to the kinds of rumours women like your wife enjoy spreading around.”
She moved to walk on, and held her breath with anticipation of his next move. As she hoped, he called out to her. “You tell fortunes?”
She hesitated.
“Care to tell mine?”
She should have kept moving. She should have walked back to camp, straight away, and never stopped to speak to him at all. He was different, though, and he spoke to her as if she were a worthy person. Never as something he could use. The sadness in his eyes compelled her to make him smile, or at least try.
“What’s your name?” he asked, his voice urgent.
“Kali. And you?”
“Andriy. Andriy Ivaneska.”
“Well, Andriy Ivaneska, why would you want to see your future?” she asked, watching him under the cover of her eyelashes. “Why not let it surprise you?”
“I enjoy hearing you talk,” he admitted. “Your voice is different. Peaceful.”
“Shouldn’t you be working?”
His neck and ears turned red. “I should, but I paid my younger brother to take my place.”
“Why?”
“I hate the farm. And now that my wife’s father is dead, I have some money. But I don’t know what to do with it.”
They watched each other in silence. She realised they had more in common than she expected, and a dangerous attraction pulled at them, the kind that broke hearts and ruined futures. And there she was, standing at the brink, about to fall in, and wanting to. Pretty words weren’t pushing her; a warm embrace wasn’t tipping her over the edge. The possibilities of a different future are what brought her to the edge. She wanted to believe things might change. For the first time in her life, she was tempted to see her own fate, to watch it unfold before she took that step over the precipice.
But she didn’t look.
And she took that first step toward him anyway.

Chapter Eight

Amelia

I was huddled up in bed, still thinking about Kali and Andriy, when Nathan pounded on my door.
“Get up! We have to see Joey before school.”
Grumbling, I did as I was told because I couldn’t bear an argument, although I dreaded the reception we’d get from Perdita’s cousin. I couldn’t think straight while my head was still full of my dreams of Andriy and the mistakes a dream girl was making, mistakes that felt as though they might be my own. Not all parts of the dreams were clear. I couldn’t remember every detail when I awoke, but his face was burned into my memories. Now that I knew his name, I couldn’t forget him if I tried.
On the way to school, Nathan seemed wound tight with tension. I could have choked on it. Didn’t he realise I had my own problems to deal with without having to worry about his?
“Any idea where Joey might be?” he asked, slightly calmer once we were inside the school grounds.
“How would I know?” I asked. He wanted me to check the classrooms. “Ugh, fine.” Anything to get away from him.
With Nathan following, I searched some classrooms for Joey. Nathan would have a better idea than me where the kid was, but he couldn’t do anything for himself when he was stressed out. Werewolves. Always needing girls to solve their problems.
I eventually found Joey, alone. I could almost hear him mentally swearing when he caught sight of me. His eyebrows rose at Nathan’s slightly aggressive entrance.
Joey stood, looking entirely put upon. “I don’t have time for this.” He gestured to his books.
“It won’t take long,” Nathan said. “Tell me what’s happening. Please.”
A bitter glare. “If you cared, you’d have already gone over there to find out.”
Nathan clenched his fists in frustration. “Joey, please. It’s complicated. Trust me. I want nothing more than to go over there, but I can’t right now, all right?” He took a deep breath. “Just tell me he’s okay. That she’s okay.”
He stared at Nathan steadily, different emotions crossing his face. “Whatever. You’ll hear about it from someone else anyway. He’s not okay, not exactly. He woke up yesterday.”
“Woke up?” I blurted. Was it really that bad?
“Yeah. He was in some kind of a coma. They had no clue what was happening. They gave him a blood transfusion, and they think his body reacted badly to it. He’s pretty sick, but nothing the doctors give him seems to help.”
Nathan twitched visibly, and my stomach churned with apprehension. Not good, not good.
“They think maybe he was already sick, and the attack triggered it, because no way would he be this sick over a dog bite. He has to stay in for a while.” He shrugged. “They don’t know what’s wrong, not really.”
“And Perdita?” Nathan asked weakly.
Joey took his seat again. “She hasn’t gone home yet,” he said, opening one of his books.
“Is she at the hospital alone?” Nathan asked, his voice harsh and accusing.
Joey didn’t seem impressed. “Sometimes. But her mother turned up yesterday.”
The way he said it chilled me. I would give anything to have my mother turn up. “Is that such a bad thing?” I couldn’t help asking.
He turned his face full of scorn toward me. “Sounds as if you don’t know Perdy at all.” He picked up a pen and flicked through a couple of pages of his book, clearly dismissing us.
“Can you give her a message?” Nathan asked. I had to hand it to my brother. He was definitely persistent.
Joey shook his head without looking at us. “Tell her yourself. Won’t matter if it comes from me.”
Nathan’s face flushed such a deep shade of fuchsia that I felt sure he would hulk out and flip over a table or something. I cringed, waiting for him to explode.
“I don’t want to make things worse.” His voice had tightened, coiled up with pain.
“I’ll tell her to call you. That’s all.” Joey’s wall was back up. There was no way we were getting through to him. Nathan wouldn’t follow me out of the room, so I grabbed his arm and pulled him after me, surprised by how easy it was to move a werewolf.
“What’s wrong with her dad?” I asked to try to distract him from the whirlwind of emotions obviously spinning in his head. He looked tortured. That wasn’t good for a werewolf. Even I knew that.
“I don’t know, but I need to see her.”
“You can’t,” I reminded him, instantly regretting it. He let out a grunt of rage and slammed his fist into a locker, leaving a significant dent in the metal and sending my heart straight into my throat. He rushed off, but I couldn’t move; I was shocked by the force of his anger. I had never seen him so unhinged.
I knew with certainty that he needed Perdita now more than ever. And there was nothing I could do to help him or me. My own temper was scaring me. What hope was there for me if even Nathan couldn’t control himself?
School started and in class, Ger kept asking me questions, but my mumbled monosyllabic answers soon silenced her. I liked her well enough, but I couldn’t focus. Nathan’s anger had knocked me off balance, too, though deep down, I knew my dreams had more to do with my imbalance than I liked to admit. Everything about the dreams bothered me now. In my dreams, people were used for the gain of others, and two people wanted comfort from the one person they were supposed to avoid. Kali’s situation seemed so disastrous and tragic and as hopeless as my brother’s relationship. To feel that connection with someone must be amazing, and I had a little taste of it every night.
I was late to lunch, but made it in time to see Aaron towering over Nathan. They weren’t speaking, just staring at each other. Aaron stepped back a little, a look of alarm on his face. Maybe he saw the wolf behind Nathan’s eyes, or maybe he realised Nathan wasn’t backing down. Of course, Aaron also wouldn’t want to back down in front of everyone, so he made a pathetic little smirk and threw a punch.
I flinched as his fist flew toward Nathan, who blocked it easily, then sharply struck Aaron twice in the face before anyone could react.
Aaron fell back, but Nathan grabbed the back of his shirt before he landed, forcing him to turn and face the ground, his body held up only by Nathan’s grip. Everyone gasped as one, unable to break the spell. Nathan said something to Aaron, but his face was ugly, with more than a little of his animal side showing through. I took a step, half-afraid he would suddenly phase and rip Aaron apart, but I stopped. What on earth could I do to stop him? Shame flooded me once again. I was afraid of my own brother.
I could have sworn Nathan’s shoulder blades jerked out of place, but the principal arrived, and called out my brother. He snapped out of it, reining in his wolf. I saw the horror on his face as he realised what he had done. Blood ran down Aaron’s chin and neck, while half of Nathan’s friends glared hateful daggers at him, and I… I was more shocked than anyone. Nathan had control, but he’d totally lost it, all because he wasn’t close to Perdita. His actions only reinforced what I already knew. That curse had to go.
The principal and Nathan left, and all hell seemed to break loose. Everyone spoke at once. Excited, hyperbolic comments filled the room. The incident had looked bad enough without people’s overreaction making it sound worse. Aaron, soaking up the sympathy, was escorted out, and he looked back at me with an unmistakeable sneer on his face. I wished Nathan had saved a punch for me.
A girl grabbed my arm. She was someone I didn’t remember ever seeing before. “Oh, my God. Your brother is so going to be expelled! I heard he was kicked out of his last school for stabbing someone. Is that true?”
“I… what?” I asked, barely able to get out the words.
“She’s busy. Get lost,” said Tammie as she accompanied me from the room.
“I… that…”
“Yeah, I know. Keep out of there, or they’ll never leave you alone. Trust me on that one.” She shook her head, smiling. “Your brother’s not so quiet, is he? They always say they’re the ones to watch, eh?”
I rubbed my temples, unable to figure out what kind of parallel world I was in. Nathan almost turned into a werewolf in front of people. Tammie was helping me. What on earth was going on?
As if she realised the same thing, Tammie made some excuse and left me alone. No longer hungry, I decided school was a bust and went to the office to complain of a migraine. They didn’t send me home, but they let me sit in a dark room until school ended. The principal nodded knowingly at me. Why did life have to be so complicated in normal ways when it was already so complicated in a dozen abnormal ways?
After school, I worked up the courage to talk to Nathan.
“You okay?”
“Sorry about today. I’ve been all over the place lately.” He rubbed the back of his neck, and looked a little sheepish.
“I know. That’s another good reason why we should be looking to get rid of this curse.”
He stared at me. “I know that, Amelia.”
“Did they kick you out of school?”
A rare grin lit up his face. “No. The principal told me to take the rest of the day off, basically. She’s pretty cool, for a principal.”
“At least that’s something. Why did you go off like that, though?”
Groaning, he paced in front of me. I could almost taste his stress and realised that Aaron had been lucky as hell. “It’s not as if I planned it. I’ve been on edge lately, and Aaron’s been asking for a hiding since I got here. You know that, right?”
“I might know it, but I thought you were over the fights. You know fighting with you isn’t fair because you have this advantage that they don’t. Besides, you’ve kept your cool for ages. I thought you could control it now.”
“So did I. Guess you can never trust a wild animal.” He gave me a watery smile, and I felt a pang of something in my chest. I knew he suspected our father of murdering our mother. And I knew he had always felt as though he himself could never be trusted. But this was the first time I had seen the evidence of his lack of control in front of my face. I often felt left out because I wasn’t a werewolf, but I was becoming ever more certain that I didn’t want to be a werewolf after all.

***

Kali

“What’s taking you so long to get home from the village every day?” Drina asked her.
Kali smiled. “I walk slowly.”
Drina’s face paled. “Don’t do anything stupid, Kali. He won’t stand for it.”
Kali waved away Drina’s concerns. She wasn’t afraid of her father. She was too valuable.
“Our clan only wants the pure,” Drina reminded her. “Nobody will remember you if you’re banished.”
“I haven’t done anything to deserve that,” Kali insisted. “I haven’t been touched.”
And she hadn’t. Andriy had never tried to touch her, no matter how much she wanted him to. Every cell in her body cried out for him, but he never made a move. He only ever spoke to her if she spoke first, which made him a good man, in her eyes. Knowing he couldn’t cross a line. The knowledge made her angry, angrier than… his wife. Always Kali’s thoughts returned to his wife. A loveless marriage and a paleness to his skin meant she couldn’t have him.
The clan might have accepted him, taken him in as an honorary member if he had brought some use with him. But his having a wife was a step too far, and her people would reject her if she took him for hers, even if there was no love between the couple. Her banishment would mean she didn’t exist to them anymore. But wasn’t that what she wished for all along?
She asked him questions, so many questions, and he spoke plainly to her in those few minutes they stole together every evening. He told her how his wife made him feel small, in his own home. He wasn’t welcome in her bed, and he had no bed of his own. He was needed to work the farm, while his wife embarrassed him by taking other men into her bed. Kali listened to his every word and told him her own stories. She was the next chovihani, and her destiny was linked to protecting her clan from the dead. Her children would be respected and revered because they would bear the curse of her birth.
And he listened. He didn’t seem to truly understand the things she said, but he didn’t laugh or run when she told him her story. He didn’t judge her clan’s beliefs or act like a coward when she talked about the rising dead who tormented her people or when she talked about the werewolves said to protect her people from the evil spirits they so greatly feared. He held her gaze and listened to her words and made her feel as though she might be worth more than the happenstance of her birth, and thus, deserving of a different destiny.
She fell for him quickly. Fell hard. She knew there was no going back. She saw the love in his eyes, returned it with her own, and they had an affair of the heart and of the mind, but not the body. Theirs was a sweet love that compelled her to keep stepping toward him, to keep waiting for him to cross the line. She had little idea of what might happen next, but she wanted more than anything to find out. She lived for the promise the future held.
The rumours started again, courtesy of Andriy’s wife, but Kali withstood them because she had him to rely on. They never touched—not even her fondness for him quelled her reluctance to cross her people’s marime taboos. He, in turn, was afraid of his wife’s wrath. Their moments together were fleeting.
Nobody could take away the memories they had created together. He had given her a peace of mind she didn’t know existed and made her feel valuable in a way that wasn’t bound to assets or riches. She saw the pure beauty in what they had together because they loved without taking, gave all of themselves except the physical part. She saw their souls entwined, and she knew they could be so much more together. He could cleanse her of the darkness within her, and she could help him stand up for the things he truly wanted.
Drina covered for her, although she didn’t approve. Her father didn’t care as long as she brought home the payment of the villagers, but the heady summer sun would change everything. Kali felt it in her bones.

Chapter Nine

Amelia

Nathan kept saying he didn’t care what anyone thought of him, but I could sense his apprehension on the way to school the next morning. We were late, and barely made it in before the bell rang, again accompanied by that spine-crawling awkwardness from the students in the hallways because of our presence. The atmosphere remained tense and full of expectation, as though everyone waited for another fight. Not that Aaron had a chance. If he had any sense at all, then he would keep the hell away from my brother. My own rage rushed to the surface suddenly, and I clung to my bag to stop my anger from releasing. Nathan frowned, and I knew he could feel what I felt. I waited for him to comment, but he didn’t. Without a word he took a different route to his first class, leaving me alone again.
I skulked into my own class, finding a seat at an unoccupied table. Ger smiled at me, but I could only nod in return. I thought it ridiculous to be stuck in school trying to make small talk with completely normal people who didn’t have a pack of werewolves after them. Byron kept insisting we squeeze in the normal stuff, like school, with all of the danger and tension. His plan wasn’t working very well.
I wasn’t altogether sure if there really was a pack of werewolves after me. Nobody seemed to know what the werewolves wanted, and if they did, they probably wouldn’t tell me anyway.
A cold sweat covered my brow, and I told myself I was putting myself under too much stress. I kept twisting everything up in my head and making it bigger than it had to be. So what if Nathan had a fight? One fight in extreme circumstances didn’t mean he was going to accidentally kill anyone. And so what if my grandfather was acting weird? He’d lost his mate and that was huge. He’d lost the person who’d centered him, so of course, he would take a while to find his balance again.
I rationalized everything in my head all day, completely ignoring everything else that was going on. I was so going to fail my summer exams.
At least it was almost time for our summer holidays. We spent most summers in Germany or France, visiting places my grandparents knew well. This year might be different. Nobody had spoken about it, so I guessed travelling was off the table.
I spent at least three classes trying to remember every detail of my dreams in case they were part of the key to ending the curse. Okay, that scenario wasn’t likely. Not at all. But if my family members’ dreams led to soul mates, then why not curses? But I could find nothing. Nothing useful about curses, anyway. All I remembered was Kali’s distraction, and the focus she had on escaping her life.
Sometimes I woke up wanting to slap her. Her thought processes and the decisions she made confused me. She was so dramatic. She barely knew Andriy, and she had convinced herself she was hopelessly in love. She didn’t see that she was so desperate for escape that she would have clung on to any option that presented itself.
One minute she was noble and moral, and the next she was running after somebody else’s husband. And she was barely older than me. Yeah, she lived in another time, but her actions still grossed me out, though not during my dreams. Everything seemed normal and right while I dreamt.
The dreams had to mean something to me or be relevant to my life somehow. I had been thinking hard, and some of the hints she dropped added up. Kali would have werewolf children. Did that mean she was a soul mate? Was Andriy one of us? His surname was familiar. Ivaneska-Evans. Not a huge stretch. I felt a little ill at the idea of being attracted to a possible ancestor, but really, I was feeling the aftershocks of Kali’s emotions. She loved the man, but there was no possibility of a happy ending for her.

***

Before lunch, Abbi approached me. I tried to smile at her, but something about her triggered my suspicions. She wasn’t evil or anything, but I couldn’t forget my first impressions of her.
“Hey, Ams. Where’s your brother hiding?” she said cheerily.
“Here. Somewhere.” I gestured vaguely.
“No, seriously. I haven’t seen him since this morning. He ran out of class after I told him about Perdy.” She frowned.
“What? What happened to Perdy?” My lungs seemed to constrict, and dark spots flew in front of my eyes. What had happened now?
“Those wild dogs again,” she said slowly, but I was already gone, looking for Joey. I sprinted and found him in the first classroom in which I looked. “Where… what happened?” I blurted, flustered beyond belief.
He looked up from his conversation with Tammie and shook his head. “I should have known you’d be next. A wolf tried to attack us at the hospital; another wolf protected us.”
“Another—oh. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. I’ve talked about this with your brother already, and he ran out of the school as though the hounds of hell were after him.”
“Oh.” I turned to leave, then hesitated. Oh, crap. I glanced back at him. “Did you say wolf?”
A smile twitched on his lips. “I did.”
“Did Perdita… say something to you?”
His expression was blank. “Like what?”
I bit my knuckle to cover my gasp of fear. Could she have told him the truth about us? Would she really betray us? I shook my head and left. “Like nothing,” I said over my shoulder.
I made up my mind. I was going home. Screw staying in school while the rest of my family was busy dealing with… whatever. I was part of the family, too, and I deserved to know what was going on. I snuck from school grounds without telling anyone. I’d only miss a couple of classes, but I didn’t want to deal with any questions. What could I tell them? I needed to deal with werewolf business?
I made it home, still shaking from the worry of another attack and the idea that people might know the truth about us. Nobody was around except for Opa.
“What’s happening?” I asked him.
He refused to look at me. “Nothing.” But his voice was strained, and I knew something had happened.
“Then, where is everyone?” I demanded.
“Jeremy’s following orders. Your uncle left to find your brother.”
“Why? Where’s Nathan? What’s going on?”
He glared at me, unrecognisable emotions filling his eyes. “He decided he wants no part of this pack anymore.”
I stared back, trying to translate. “Wait. He’s… he’s gone to her. Is that it? He got around the order?”
When he didn’t disagree, I laughed. “That’s great! He’ll be okay now.”
He lurched to his feet, but I gazed at him sullenly, determined not to cower before him ever again. “Disobeying an alpha is not great,” he said. “Betraying family is not great.”
“And yet that’s exactly what you did.” I couldn’t stop the words. They popped out before I could even think.
“I did what was needed for our family to survive,” he shouted. I felt his power roll over me, but somewhere inside me, there was something clamoring to get out. I shuddered with the sensation, feeling a familiar twitching at my fingertips. Not possible. I was not like Kali. But the words were coming again, vomiting out of me without control.
“No!” I cried. “Not for us to survive. You’re taking out your grief on everyone, and that isn’t right! Just because you lost your heart doesn’t mean you have a right to take Nathan’s from him. You can’t act like this and expect everyone to sit down and obey.”
“You have no right, Amelia. No right to speak to me this way.”
“And you have no right to put Nathan’s mate in danger. She was attacked again! For what? Because you have some warped idea of what should happen next? You’re being ridiculous, and people are getting hurt. This has to stop!”
He flinched at the word “stop,” and a crack of pain sliced through my temples. I left the room, eyes streaming, and hid in the bathroom, struggling to breathe. He knocked on the bathroom door gently, but I ignored it. I could barely open my eyes from the pain and fear running through my entire body.
I was terrified. Terrified of him and of what was happening to me and to everyone I loved. I couldn’t see a way out or a way to fix any of the hopeless situations. He was doing everything in his power to make it worse for all of us. I couldn’t tell if he had lost his mind or if he had turned into an exaggerated version of Byron, but whatever it was, I couldn’t cope with it. I wanted my Opa back. He was the one who loved me and who loved his family, not this cold man who brought out the worst in me. I had wanted to strike him and to hit back at the stupidity of his orders, but I was just a girl in his eyes. Nothing I did mattered to him.
I didn’t leave the bathroom until I heard Nathan and Byron return, but that was only because I wanted to know what was going on. I swallowed a couple of painkillers as I entered the room where all of my family members had gathered. I listened to the conversation.
“Perdita reckons the other wolf protected her. The male,” Nathan said, almost hesitantly.
Other wolf? Other wolf? No freaking way.
“It wasn’t only her,” he continued defensively. “Her cousin Joey was there, too. He said one wolf was about to attack, but another got in the way and chased her off.”
I stopped listening. That didn’t make sense, but Perdita wouldn’t lie. She had no reason to, so a wolf had protected her, though it certainly wasn’t one from our family. Opa had made it perfectly clear that we weren’t to help her.
All of a sudden, Nathan’s finger was pointing at me. “What about your own granddaughter? Look at her! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks because of those dreams. I had dreams before I turned. What if hers mean something? Why hasn’t anyone done something about that yet?”
“Dreams aren’t our priority right now, boy,” Opa said. “I’ll think about worrying when it gets closer to her birthday.”
I wanted to leave the room. I didn’t need to hear anymore. He didn’t give a crap about me. Why should I care what he said or thought? But suddenly Byron and Nathan seemed to stand together. They pushed Opa against his will, persuading him to reveal whatever was going on in his head.
He panicked, on the edge of giving in. I saw it in the droop of his shoulders and heard it in the passiveness of his protest. “There’s nothing wrong with secrets.”
“There is when people start dying.” All eyes turned to me. That’s right. I didn’t have to be the scared little girl in the corner. I deserved to play a part in family business, too. To my surprise, Opa nodded. Had I gotten through to him after all?
With a reluctant sigh, he revealed that he knew the wolf in charge, the one who was sending his pack after us. All along, he had known exactly what was after us. He expected us to trust him when he still hadn’t shown all of his cards.
“When I was young I was eager to run wild and find my mate,” Opa explained, “but the years went by, and I still hadn’t found her. I would have the dreams. A face would appear for a while, then poof, the dreams would end. Later, they’d start back up, but this time it would be a different face. A different girl.”
“How is that possible?” Jeremy voiced my own concern.
“I couldn’t figure it out at first,” Opa said. “Couldn’t understand what was going on. So I did a lot of research and asked a lot of questions. I eventually found out quite a bit. It took a lot of effort, but to make a long story short, a certain group of wolves were headed by a particular alpha who wanted to fix their pack. They had been unable to breed properly for years. The werewolves were dying out, becoming weaker with each new generation created. All except our family. We kept getting stronger, and they wanted to break the line to make sure we weren’t stronger than them.”
I glanced at Nathan who looked as surprised as I felt. This was big news, yet we were only hearing it now.
“The wolves had a special… tracker. She could find the mates, intuitively. I don’t know if it’s anything like what we do. The werewolves planned to use their tracker to find my potential mate and kill her before I found her. Just like that. No guilt. I found the tracker, and… persuaded her to talk to me. She told me where to find Lia and said Lia was my true mate, even though the dreams of her had already stopped. So I found her, and I made her mine.”
He swallowed hard, and I exchanged a horrified glance with Nathan, unable to even begin processing what he was telling us. I still didn’t trust him. From the way he spoke and the agitation in his hands, I was sure he wasn’t giving us the full story.
He cleared his throat, and I wondered if he might be making up a story in his head.
“Eventually, the alpha lost his role. He was overtaken by another wolf named Vin. Vin wanted to breed his own wolves, and he was convinced that the curse was actively selecting women who were capable of breeding with werewolves. He thought we were essentially stealing potential breed mates for his wolves. But he lost his tracker, so he had no way of taking the potentials away from us anymore.”
“That’s sick.” I wanted to vomit. How had he persuaded the tracker? How had this Vin wolf lost his tracker? Because of Opa? Did he kill her? The whole thing was sleazy and gross and overwhelmingly new.
“Their werewolves will die out. I can understand why he would take desperate measures.”
It was official. My grandfather was a complete stranger to me.
“Well, I can’t.” Nathan looked as repulsed as I felt. “And we could have used this info ages ago. This is madness. If our mates die we’re assigned a new one? What a load of crap!”
“No, no.” Opa shook his head fervently. “Only if you haven’t connected yet. Haven’t bonded. The curse has to continue, one way or another. At least until it’s broken.”
Ding-ding. Amelia, get a move on. The curse wasn’t the wonderful thing I had once imagined it to be because it led to misery, broken families and death. It had to go.
“I still don’t get why they’re doing this.” Jeremy’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Why not let us have our mates and keep prolonging the curse if they’re worried about extinction?”
“If they take the mates, they increase their chances of breeding themselves,” Opa said. “Maybe it worked once. Maybe they’re simply desperate. That’s all. We’re strong. They’re struggling to survive. It’s sad, really.”
“But they didn’t try to take Perdita,” Nathan said, looking absolutely sickened.
Opa nodded. “True. I don’t know why. Maybe you met her before they figured it out. Maybe they wanted you to meet her so they could kill her and ruin your chances of reproducing. Perhaps their coming here to attack the girls was a cover-up for something else. Maybe it was some kind of cruel sadism that sent them here. I’ve no way of knowing.”
It was so confusing, all of the possibilities. Why did they hate us so much? Why not ally with us instead of trying to destroy us. What kind of monsters were they?
Byron spoke, and his words were tight with anger, but it filled me with pride rather than fear and made me feel secure in the fact that, ultimately, he would take care of us. I hoped I was right.
“So this is what, revenge? Domination? A reminder that they can cut us down at any time if they wish?”
Opa didn’t know, but Nathan had more questions. The same ones I had. Why now? What had changed?
“I assume it’s something to do with Amelia.”
I didn’t hear any more. Of course, it was my fault. Everything came down to me. I wanted to leave, to cry, to shout and scream, but Nathan’s anger drew me back in. “So you let Perdita be exposed to danger? And Amelia?” He sounded so incredulous, but I wasn’t surprised. I expected to be used. I couldn’t listen to anymore drama. I was on my own, and I had to start standing on my own feet. Nobody was going to swoop in and rescue me. I had to save myself from whatever was coming.

***

Kali

“I’ve found you a husband,” he said, as if merely announcing a change in the weather. Kali stared at her father, waiting for more, hoping for some detail that wouldn’t make her want to pull out her hair and scream in sorrow. “He’s not too old, but he’s unsure of having a witch for a wife, so you’ll need to—”
“I am not a witch.”
“—be a little more persuasive. Give him some attention and—”
“I don’t want a husband.”
“—he’ll come around. He prefers meek girls, so he probably won’t enjoy—”
“I don’t care what he likes.”
“—being reminded of your power. And if you don’t marry him, then we’ll move elsewhere. You’ve no choice in this, girl. Forget that not.”
“I’m not ready.”
“You are. In a week, you’ll no longer be a novice. It’s time. I’ve been carrying you for too long now. You’re wasting precious time for little.”
“Carrying me? You soulless…”
His eyes found hers, and the threat within them was obvious. She tried a different tack.
“I’m not strong enough for the power, papa.”
A mistake. His obvious disgust chilled her to the bone. He didn’t see her as his daughter but as a daughter of darkness and demons, bought to appease his greed and paid for with his wife’s soul, no doubt.
“You sicken me,” she said quietly, so none other would hear. “You corrupted the magic, and bred from my mother until her body gave out. You forced her to have seven and made deals with the sort of devils that will come and ravish you upon your death. You use me so you can sell me on to the highest bidder. I hope your future is worth it. I hope the day your soul is torn from your body, and eaten up by darkness, that you will scream how worth it your life has been. Devil man to judge me. When you… you are blackness itself. A shriveled heart and hands that make the earth itself weep. May you know the folly of your sins. May you—”
“Do not attempt to sully your mouth with curse-making in my presence. A novice threatening the chovihano? I should end your life now.”
“Do it. Do it now because it would be worth your banishment. I would gladly be free of you.”
A sneer lifted his lips. “And that is exactly why you live. Because you wish for death.”
He stood, barely taller than her, but more intimidating than the tallest man because of that hollow place where his conscience should have been. “The ceremony is next week. You will be chovihani in your own right. Your wedding will come shortly afterward. Prepare yourself, for if you lose this husband, there are worse ones who can be persuaded to take you from my hands.”
The shadows closed in, and it took all of her might to ignore them as she glared at her father’s back. The worst of men, surely. If anyone deserved the words, he did. The power he had over her was worse. If he said a ceremony and a wedding were coming, she could do nothing to prevent either.
Except run.

Chapter Ten

Amelia

“Wanna sit with us today?”
I looked around in surprise. Perdita hadn’t come back to school since her dad’s accident, and Nathan was off, making things up with her. I should have been happy for them to be back together, but I was left alone again. I deserved that, for relying on them so much. But I was lonely, so I nodded at Ger and said yes without thinking.
“Cool. Follow us over then.”
Ger turned on her heel and strolled across the room as though she hadn’t a care in the world. She joined a couple of kids that I vaguely remembered seeing in a couple of my classes. Again, I couldn’t remember all of their names, but they nodded politely at me as I took an empty seat next to Ger. I felt as though I was reliving my first day all over again.
I was sick of thinking about my dreams and how everyone else in my life could stand up for what they believed in, while I cowered in the corner. Even Kali, during a time when she had precious little say in her life, had defended herself against evil and searched for happiness. Nathan had gone against the entire pack, and the alpha power, to make his way back to Perdita.
“Don’t you hang around with some fifth years?” a boy with shockingly curly, black hair asked me. His eyes were wide with innocence, but my anger rose, nonetheless, and I wasn’t sure why. A trickle of sweat rolled down my back as they all stared at me, waiting for an answer. It was only then that I realised people were as interested in me as they were in Nathan. In such a small location, new people were the hot topic. We would likely be the new kids the entire time we attended the school.
Suppressing a sigh, I nodded. “My brother and his girlfriend. Mostly.”
“I heard Aaron Hannigan asked you out,” said a petite girl with short, brown hair.
“Nah,” I made a face. “He tries to irritate my brother is all.”
“We saw your brother box the living daylights out of Aaron,” she said with a grin. “Best. Day. Ever.”
I looked away, embarrassed. Nathan’s wild behaviour that day had horrified me because my own temper kept trying to reveal itself for little reason. That morning, I had snapped at some boy for tipping off my arm. He had backed away in alarm, and something inside me felt pride at his action. It felt right to assert myself over him and to win.
“Where are you from again?” Ger asked and smiled reassuringly at me, and I tried to feel comfortable. Questions didn’t bother me as much as my fear of blurting out something important but very private.
“All over,” I said, shrugging. “Spent most of the last few years in England, so I suppose I consider myself English really. Doesn’t really matter to me.”
“That’s so cool,” the brown-haired girl said breathily. I exchanged a bemused glance with Ger and had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
“Sorry about your grandmother,” a quiet boy in the corner said. Everyone at the table seemed surprised that he spoke at all, and I stared at him with interest. He had short, light-brown hair and the palest grey eyes I had ever seen. Something about him reminded me of my dreams, and my stomach flipped over a little. Maybe it was because he was quiet when the others were excitable, a trait that called Andriy to my mind. Not that I liked Andriy. Kali did. But still.
The boy held my gaze for a couple of seconds before leaving the table with the rest of the boys. I watched him go.
“That’s Connor. He’s kind of weird, so ignore him. I’m Julie by the way. We have English together. And French. And, um, Geography,” the brunette said.
“I take Geography?”
The others laughed, and I found myself relaxing a little. Connor had interested me, and Ger seemed nice enough the few times I’d spoken with her. Maybe I really had depended on Nathan and Perdita too much. They didn’t have time for me anymore, and sticking with normal kids might keep my mind off all the drama.
When Ger invited me to the cinema that evening, my “yes” was given without hesitation.

***

“You going somewhere?”
I closed the lid on my bottle of water and shoved it back in the fridge. “Yep.”
“Where? Who’s going with you?” Nathan demanded.
“Do you actually care?” I cocked my head and studied my older brother.
“Of course I care! I think you should be more careful, though.”
“Why? What else could possibly happen? Someone might die? Someone might hate me? Think we’ve covered all of those. This is the bottom of the barrel, brother dearest. Don’t patronise me about being careful—as if I’m anybody’s priority.”
Nathan physically recoiled, and a small part of me warmed with power. I liked warning off people or making them listen to me. I stalked off, high on the adrenaline rush of standing up for myself, but the tears came as soon as I slammed my bedroom door behind me. I took deep calming breaths, wiped the smudging of my eyeliner clean, and prepared to leave.
A soft rap on the door made me pause. I knew it was Nathan, but I didn’t feel like speaking to him. He belittled me as much as the rest of our family, and I was beginning to have my fill. I knew he didn’t mean it. I knew deep down he cared, but talking to him would provoke the anger I could hardly contain anymore. I would go out and have fun. And I would forget all about the damn curse.
Nathan was waiting outside my room when I left. I made a frustrated sound, and he gave me an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry, okay?” he said. “I’m worried about you. These dreams, the headaches… everything is all adding up to trouble, I know it.”
“That’s no reason to get bossy with me. I’m allowed to leave the house.”
He shrugged. “I know that. But maybe you shouldn’t be. Oh, don’t look at me like that,” he added hurriedly. “I’m nervy because of what happened today.”
“What happened?” I couldn’t help myself. I pretended I didn’t care, but I so did.
“Perdita told me that the wolf came to her in the hospital. The red male.”
“What? Is she okay? Why didn’t anyone…?”
“Relax. She’s fine. He turned up to talk to her to tell her he’s been looking out for you and her.”
“Looking out for… he attacked us!”
“That’s what I said. But Perdita reckons we can trust him.” He shrugged. “I don’t know what to do. He told Perdita that the alpha Opa told us about has his daughters, so he’s making him do all of this stuff. He’s on our side, he claims.”
“I don’t know about that.” My stomach squirmed. Why would Perdita believe him? Then again, why would he risk speaking to her? He could have killed her then. He had protected her from the other wolf, but what if it was all a trick?
“She wants me to meet him. Opa won’t be impressed.”
My mouth gaped. “You’re not seriously thinking of going ahead with that, are you? That’s insane.”
“I can take care of myself,” he insisted, but his shoulders sagged. “I don’t know. I’ve been acting… let’s say I need to make it up to Perdita. I need to show her I have faith in her.”
“By risking your life? That’s ridiculous. Even for you two.”
He held out his hands. “You don’t understand. She really believes he’s telling the truth.”
“And what if she’s wrong, Nathan? What then?”
He looked away. “Maybe you shouldn’t go out tonight.”
“I’m going out. I’m not going to keep hiding. I’ll be with people, and if you think this other wolf is actually protecting us, then I’ll be fine. And you better not follow me. I swear to—”
“Relax. I won’t follow you. And if you’re really worried about me meeting this other wolf, then I’ll ask Jeremy to back me up.”
I stared at him. “Fine.”
“Fine.”
“Good.” I walked off before he could change his mind. Everything was getting screwier by the day. By the time I reached town, my nerves were so on edge that they went into overload when I saw the gang of giggling teenagers waiting outside the cinema. I was about to turn back when Connor caught my eye and said something to Ger. Ger turned around and jogged over to me, a grin on her face.
“Hey, we thought you might not show.”
“Sorry I’m late. I had… stuff to do.”
“Doesn’t matter. The show we got tickets for won’t start for another hour. Here.” She pressed a ticket into my hand.
“Oh, I’ll pay now,” I said, flustered.
“Pay for me next time,” Ger said with a smile. “Means you’ll have to show next time, so don’t forget.”
Unsure of what to say, I obediently followed Ger back to the others. Ger discreetly pushed me away from Julie and toward Connor, who took one look at me before turning away. Confused, I glanced at Ger who was pointedly looking the other way. Great, more weirdness. The whole point of going out was to get away from screwy behaviour.
We hung around an arcade for the next half hour, and I consistently found myself wedged between Ger and Connor.
On the way back to the cinema, Ger pulled me back, allowing Julie to basically slobber all over Connor.
“You sit next to Connor in the pictures, okay?”
“Erm, why?”
“I think he wants to meet you. That’s why!”
“Meet me? What are you on about? We met at school.”
Ger giggled loudly. “Not that kind of meet. Meet, meet.”
I stared at Ger blankly, finding every hour more confusing than the last.
“You know. Meet. Oh, God. What’s that horrible word you lot use? Snog? Yeah, that. We say meet. You say snog. Whatever. A proper kiss.”
I covered my mouth to hide my smile. “How do you know that? And what, I’m supposed to snog him in front of everyone? Erm, no thanks!”
“Oh, so the only problem is doing it in public?” Ger winked at me knowingly.
“I think Julie likes him.” I nodded ahead at Connor and Julie.
“She had her chance last year. She met Martin behind Connor’s back. He doesn’t forgive people very easily.” She shrugged as if it didn’t mean much, but so many people in my life didn’t forgive easily that I couldn’t help seeing it as negative.
“Yeah, well, I’m not interested,” I said a little too loudly, hurrying on in front of the others. I was pretty sure Connor heard me, but he didn’t say anything. I could only assume he didn’t care at all.
Not that I cared. After all, I had more important things to worry about. Such as killer werewolves and the fact that my entire family seemed to hate me, yet I knew my cousin was stalking me from a distance to keep me safe because my brother made him. Oh yeah, my mistakes helped get my grandmother killed. Plenty more important things to worry about.
I fidgeted with the charm bracelet hanging on my wrist, which seemed slimmer. I hadn’t been eating enough, but I hadn’t really had much of an appetite. After my conversation with Ger, I’d been hiding my weight loss under baggy clothes. I would deal with that problem some other time.
Despite everything I’d said, Ger made sure I sat between her and Connor in the cinema. Okay, so maybe I cared a little. Maybe I even used my family stuff to avoid the scary but normal stuff that everyone else had to deal with. Perhaps Connor would be the person to take my mind off the werewolf crap. Both nervous and excited, I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. He didn’t look at me at all, and perhaps that was for the best.
But part of me longed for something similar to the companionship my brother and his girlfriend had together. For the history Tammie and Joey had built. For the love Kali and Andriy shared, in my dreams. Even though I knew their love was forbidden, I longed to at least experience love like they did.
The dreams were becoming more troubling. As the gypsy girl in the dreams, I was growing fonder of Andriy all of the time, and those feelings were spilling over into real life. That was probably why Connor attracted my attention in the first place. His almost Slavic eyes reminded me of Andriy, the forbidden man.
Was Kali attracted to him because she couldn’t have him, because she was smothered by rules? Did she hope, instead, that he would free her? I couldn’t forget the things she had said about curses and werewolves. She was a curse-maker, but she would be the mother of werewolves. How did that fit? It was a dream, I reminded myself.
“Are you okay?” Connor’s whisper barely reached my ears.
“Fine,” I replied, embarrassed as I realised I’d been shaking my head. Never again. Never. Again. No way was I going out with normal kids again. Nathan was right. I should stay away unless I could put on a mask and hide my feelings. Not fitting in or being scared of my heritage had never bothered me before, but now… now everything was different.
I gave Connor a sideways glance and saw he was again immersed in the film. Sighing quietly, I sat back in my seat and waited for the film to end so I could get home. Then again, home wasn’t exactly the nicest place to be, and I could do with annoying my new stalker, Jeremy, by keeping him busy a little longer. So, when Ger invited me to get something to eat, I quickly said “yes.”
The fast-food place was crowded, but we all squeezed around one small table. With someone’s knees pressed into my legs, my temperature rose rapidly. Again, sweat dripped down my back, and I wondered if I might be coming down with something. My hormones were completely out of whack and making me crazy. I’d been ready to scream at my grandfather numerous times. What was wrong with me?
“I have to go,” I said abruptly.
“Go? Why?” Ger asked. “We can all head back together in, like, half an hour, tops. Where are you going?”
“I’m… I need to go. I’ll see you in school. Thanks for inviting me.”
Hurrying from the restaurant, I bumped into numerous strangers as I ran toward the bus stop. Being alone freaked me out even more than being around so many others. I couldn’t see Jeremy anywhere, and I wondered if he knew I knew he was hanging around. I hoped he wouldn’t come near me. I didn’t fancy being alone with him.
Before I could panic, I sensed someone else behind me. Connor.
“Connor, I…”
Turning around, my sentence cut off as I realised he was way behind me. Way, way behind me. He wouldn’t hear me if I spoke, yet I’d known he was out there, which was the strangest thing ever. How had I known? Was it a happy coincidence or something else? Had I smelled him? I didn’t think so. He wasn’t my mate, and I wasn’t a werewolf, though I might be, one day. Still, I hadn’t dreamt about him, so we weren’t exactly meant to be together, even if I was supposed to change some day.
He caught up with me before I could figure out what to make of the situation.
“I needed to leave,” he said.
“Okay.”
“Sorry if you wanted to be alone.”
For a second he looked like an awkward kid, unsure of himself. Then the impression was gone, and the cool exterior returned. I tried in vain to remember if I had seen him much at school. Why hadn’t I noticed him? I’d been so preoccupied with everything else that I probably hadn’t noticed a whole lot of things.
“It’s fine,” I said, wondering if he was waiting on an answer.
“Good. Should be a bus in the next five or ten minutes if you want to hurry.”
We walked together without speaking much, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, I felt calmer than I had in a while. I didn’t worry about making conversation or trying to act normal. The silence helped me maintain some sort of control. It was… soothing to be around Connor.
The bus arrived, and Connor laid his hand gently on the base of my back as if to push me ahead. I stiffened at his touch, and he dropped his arm immediately.
“Sorry, I…”
He shook his head. “I get it.”
Did he? I didn’t even “get it.” He was a perfectly nice boy. Okay-looking, quiet, and normal. Nothing that sparked off any red alerts. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I like him or at least try to be normal?
We sat at the back of the bus, both of us occupying a double seat of our own. I wasn’t sure how to react to Connor. As much as he calmed me, his silence could unsettle me, too, because I didn’t know exactly what he wanted. If he wanted to talk… or more.
I twisted my hair around my finger, agitated by the light in the bus. I felt exposed—as if I couldn’t hide anymore. Funny how much it bothered me, considering how annoyed I was at home for being invisible.
“This is my stop,” I said as the bus turned the corner close to my home.
Connor stood.
“It’s okay,” I said hurriedly. “I don’t need to be walked home.”
“This is my stop, too.”
“Oh.”
We got off the bus in silence. I felt my face blush deeply, in the dark. Of course it was his stop. He had to live close enough to me. I’d made a complete fool of myself how many times now? I couldn’t wait to go home and forget about the whole evening.
“I’m this way,” I told him, pointing ahead. He walked alongside me. “I… where do you live?”
“The other way.”
“Like I said, I don’t need…”
“I know. And I’d rather not think about you walking home in the dark on a creepy old road.” He took a deep breath. “So, can I walk you home, Amelia?”
“I… okay.” I shrugged slightly, trying to act as though his asking me wasn’t important, instead of incredibly appealing. That apologetic manner was so similar to Andriy, and I felt goose bumps rise on my arms as he tipped against me accidentally. Feeling that I had a choice was unusual for me. Any member of my family would have told me how it was, and that would be it. No discussion. No asking nicely. I wondered what he would have done if I had said no.
He didn’t speak again until we got to my house. “You should hang around with everyone again,” he said as we stood at my gate, both of us fidgeting.
“Yeah, maybe.” I risked looking at his eyes again, which were probably his best feature. He wasn’t ugly, but his eyes were the only thing that really stood out to me. He looked… scared. “Amelia! You okay?” Nathan called from the doorway.
“Yes!” I snapped. “Go away!”
Connor rubbed his face, blushing. “’Night, Amelia.”
Embarrassed myself, I stormed into my house, barging past my suddenly protective older brother.
“Thanks a bunch,” I practically snarled.
“What’s that about?”
“Oh, come on! Did you really think I couldn’t handle saying goodnight to him?”
“Amelia… I was worried. I didn’t know who he was, and…”
“Nathan! You can smell a werewolf from a mile away now! You know he’s a normal kid. And don’t act as though you didn’t have Jeremy following me around.”
He had the grace to look embarrassed, and I strode up the stairs, shaking with annoyance and frustration. I didn’t know what I wanted, but it wasn’t my family chasing away any new friends I might make.
“I’m trying to keep you safe,” he called after me.
“Safe from what? From having friends? A life? Fun, maybe? I don’t need your help. I’m not one of you, so let’s leave it at that, okay?”
In my room, I lay in bed and mulled over the entire day. I felt as though everything had changed. I badly wanted to speak to Perdita, to look for something, advice… anything. But how could I face her? I needed my family to get together, to sort through all of the things that had gone wrong. Yet they couldn’t all be in the same room for longer than five minutes without all of the pain in their hearts seeping through and multiplying. I wanted normality and real friends that had nothing to do with curses or werewolves, but I was an awkward mess around ordinary teenagers as I constantly worried I’d spit out words I wasn’t supposed to say. Most of all, I wanted to know more about my dreams. I needed to see where they would take me and where they would end. I needed to know why I wanted to sleep so I could be with Andriy for a few more minutes.
That thought jerked me upward. I genuinely wanted to spend time with a dream man. A man with a wife and responsibilities. He was a teenager, but probably the most forbidden kind of man for me. Or rather, for Kali. I wished Kali would get out of my head so I could be sure of what I was feeling again.
I needed guidance and reassurance and somebody to steer me on the right path.
My eyes fell on the spirit board again. One more time, I promised myself, busily lighting candles to prepare. I said the usual and called out for Mémère, hoping for the best.
The windows shuddered, and I had to make a conscious effort to keep from wrapping my arms around my body. My voice shook a little as I called out for my grandmother again, laying my fingertips on the cup.
It moved, only slightly, but still, it was movement.
I called out again, as dread filled the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why. I tried to pull my fingers away, but they stuck fast, as if something was holding on to me. I struggled to get away, but the cup moved, and my body stilled immediately.
I can give you guidance.
“Is that you, Mémère? I’m so glad you’re here. I need you. I need help. What do I do? How do I fix everything?”
Take my place.
“What? What do you mean? Take care of everyone? I’m a bit young for that.”
So was I when it all began. Take my place, and everything will fall in line again.
“Okay… I’ll try. I mean, I…”
Sleep. I’ll be with you. You’ll see everything soon. The time is approaching, heart of mine.
The cup fell over. I crawled backward, disturbed by the event. The atmosphere and presence hadn’t felt like Mémère. The scent was familiar somehow, but it was nothing like my grandmother’s. I fell asleep with little effort that night, but my dreams were a nightmarish mess of violence, and darkness, and shadows creeping over me and pulling me under.

Chapter Eleven

Amelia

I couldn’t concentrate at school knowing that Nathan was voluntarily facing up to that werewolf. He had actually agreed to meet Ryan, the red werewolf that had first terrified me in the woods. What was he thinking? I already knew the answer to that. Like Kali, he didn’t care about the consequences. He was all about happiness in the now. Forget about tomorrow. He was practicing stupidity at its best, as far as I was concerned.
“You okay? You’re quiet today,” Ger said.
“Yeah, I know. Just thinking about Perdita.” No way was I getting into what exactly I was thinking about, but she stared at me expectantly. “I was thinking of going to see her at the hospital.”
“Cool. I’ll come with.”
“That’s okay. I mean, it’ll be boring.”
She flashed a grin and ignored my pretty obvious attempt to fob her off. “We’ll go after school.”
That told me. “I’ll try to get in touch with her. See if she’s up for it.”
“Great.”
I assumed Ger would forget about it, but after school, she and Julie waited for me outside.
“You did tell her, right?” Ger asked.
I had, or at least, I’d told Nathan to ask her if she wanted me to visit. She told him yes, but part of me was still terrified. I hadn’t told anyone about the way I reacted when her dad was hurt. I hadn’t spoken to her, and I was still a little mad that she had persuaded Nathan to do something pointless and dangerous.
But I missed her.
Julie yapped in my ear the entire way, but I couldn’t listen to whatever she was waffling about. What if Perdita read in my eyes what I was thinking? What if she sensed all of the things that were wrong?
“She’s over there,” Ger said, pointing at a bench up ahead.
“Yeah, I know.” I had known exactly where she would be without even knowing how. “Maybe you two should wait here. I have to talk to her about some stuff.”
“That’s cool. Take your time.”
I wished I were as laid back as they seemed to be. Nothing bothered Julie. Not even obvious apathy. As for Ger, she didn’t take no for an answer, but I kind of liked her for it.
My feet might have been stuck in quicksand for my lack of speed to find Perdita. The look on her face when she saw me served to overwhelm me all the more. She looked happy and relieved. She wasn’t angry; she was genuinely pleased to see me, which made my visit so much more difficult. A sudden lump made my throat ache, and I didn’t have a chance to hold back the tears burning my eyes. I had abandoned her when she needed me, and she didn’t hold it against me. She wasn’t like me, who wanted revenge for every perceived slight. What had I been thinking? She was my friend, but I hadn’t been acting as her friend for a second.
I reached her, and she gathered me in her arms, comforting me. The tears were cathartic, but the guilt felt like real needles piercing my heart.
“I’m so sorry about your dad. I don’t know what’s happening to us.”
The calm on her face soothed me a little, but my hiccups and sobs didn’t disappear.
“He’s going to be fine.” Her voice was steady, as though she firmly believed it herself. “He just needs a few days of rest.”
“Opa thinks he’s poisoned or something.”
“How would he know? Did something happen to Nathan and Jeremy?” She tensed up, and I drew away from her to reassure her properly.
“No, I haven’t heard anything yet. I feel really bad about everything, though, and I miss you at school.”
She gazed at me keenly. “No offence, but you look way more miserable than just missing me at school. Is something wrong? Did Tammie say something to you again?”
I laughed at the protectiveness of her tone.
“When she’s not ignoring me, she’s actually kind of nice. No, I’m a little stressed out. All of this family stuff and the dreams… it’s as if there’s something constantly weighing me down. I keep getting these migraines, but I suppose it’s because of the stress.”
“Wanna talk about the dreams?”
“They aren’t important. Not really. It’s how they make me feel when I wake up. As if I’m in the wrong place. And I’ve met a boy I kind of like. Except I care more about the people in my dreams than him.” I held my breath then, waiting for her reaction.
Her eyes widened with concern. “That’s a little… out there, Amelia.”
I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have known better. “Never mind! When are you coming back to school?”
She held my hand and made me sit on the bench. “Not sure. Probably soon, unless Dad signs me into a mental institution.”
Her lips twisted into a crooked smile, but something told me she was deadly serious.
“Why would he do that?”
“Because he thinks I’m losing it.”
That amused me. “Best not tell him I think I’m a reincarnated gypsy, then.”
She leaned back a little, as though taking it in. “You don’t… you don’t really think that, though, do you?”
I had to get it off my chest. I couldn’t keep holding in everything, but I wondered if she was the right person to tell.
“I don’t know what to believe, Perdita. But there are so many similarities between me and this dream girl. It’s freaking me out.”
“It’s probably just a dream,” she said at last.
“Yeah. I bet you said the same thing before we came along.”
She winced. “Try not to dwell on the dreams. If they mean anything, you’ll know when you’re meant to.”
Just like that. Avoid and sugar-coat. She was more of an Evans than I was.
“Wow. Way to sort my problems.” Why would she? My problems were at the bottom of an incredibly large pile. I still felt the bite, though.
“I’m sorry. I’m worried about Nathan. I hate the idea of him working with that wolf. She bit Dad. How am I supposed to stop seeing her as the enemy?”
I got that. Ryan would likely come with his pack mate, whether we liked it or not. I could never forget the way those werewolves had attacked us, so I didn’t understand how Perdita could find a way to trust the male just because he suddenly claimed to be on our side.
“How are we supposed to stop seeing either of them as the enemy?”
She shrugged. “I know. Trust me. But if you heard him… you’d see. You’d get it.”
Nobody ever expected me to understand. Right then, I didn’t even want to. We made small talk for a couple of minutes—I even told her a little about Ger and Connor—before I retreated to my new friends. Being around them was peaceful because I knew they would never reveal anything remotely life-threatening.
But I was dying to hear from Nathan about what happened during his enemy werewolf meeting, so I made excuses to leave them.
“Okay. Wanna hang around with us later on?” Ger asked.
“I don’t know…”
“Come on, it’ll be fun.” Julie smiled reassuringly.
“Yeah? What are you all doing?”
Julie shrugged, frowning in confusion. “Just, you know, hanging around.”
I agreed to meet up with them later on, but first I had to hear the news from Nathan. I headed home, my head full of questions.
“I believe him,” Nathan said as we sat on the swings out back, our unofficial meeting place.
“Seriously? He’s a killer. Why wouldn’t he be a liar, too?”
“He’s not a killer, and he’s not lying,” he insisted. “And even if he was, I’d still be doing this because we can’t sit around wondering what they’re going to do next. We have to face up to this.”
He sounded different, as if he had accepted what was about to happen.
“What about her? The she-wolf. Was she telling the truth, too?”
He shook his head and gave a low whistle. “She’s crazy. Scares the crap out of me. There’s a piece of her missing. Ryan reckons that all of the bred wolves have something missing. It’s weird.”
“Sounds like crap to me.”
“Amelia. Stop. I have to do something. Cut me some slack.”
I groaned. “I’m sorry, okay? It doesn’t feel right to me. If she’s really that bad, then we shouldn’t be using her, either.”
“I know,” he said in a low voice. “Want to hear something really weird? Jeremy did something to her. Something alpha. I think he wants to take over here.”
My laugh was harsh. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. I don’t trust him. Opa literally forbade Byron from talking back, and Jeremy laughed in his face. I don’t understand Jeremy.”
“I could say the same for Opa, although, sometimes he seems to be breaking down and getting back to normal.”
“Well, he’d better do it soon, or there’ll be nothing left here for him to get back to.”
He shuddered, and we fell silent for a few minutes.
“You saw Perdita today?” he asked, his voice brightening.
“Yep. Briefly.”
“Good. You’re staying with her all day when we persuade Opa to meet with the other wolves.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he wouldn’t hear it.
“Seriously, Amelia. All of us have to go to make sure you’re both safe, in case they really are trying to backstab us. Promise you’ll stay safe.”
“I promise. But I’m going out now.”
“To do what?”
I laughed, almost joyously. “To hang around.”
Hanging around consisted of sitting on a wall outside Ger’s house. The boys on one side of the street, girls on the other.
“This is kind of ridiculous,” I whispered to Ger as Julie whistled over at the boys. “Why are we doing this again?”
“Because it’s fun,” Ger whispered back.
I wasn’t convinced. Whistling back and forth seemed pretty lame; however, it was better than sitting at home, especially if I was going to be trapped indoors throughout the following day.
“The boys are all dying to talk to you,” Ger said, glancing sideways at me.
“What? Why?”
“Think it’s your accent. Bit of strange.” Julie winked, but her smile seemed forced.
“Well, I’m not interested. We’ll probably end up moving on soon anyway.”
“Really? To where?” Julie perked up.
I shrugged, feeling awkward all of a sudden. “Who knows? Wherever the road takes us.”
“That’s so cool. I would love if my family upped and left whenever they felt like it. I’d go everywhere, see everything, and I so would not be taking any stupid exams.”
“Everything catches up with you,” I said, but she wasn’t listening anymore. I looked over at the boys again. Julie ventured over to them, gaining the attention of everyone except Connor. His eyes remained on me. He was a constant. The silent figure I couldn’t ignore, and didn’t want to ignore. I wanted to hear him talk and laugh. I wanted to know what he was really like, and I realised too late, I wanted to see if he could compare to Andriy.
Suddenly, the act of bringing Connor out of his shell felt like a game to me, and I sauntered over to him, surprised by my own bravery.
“Hi,” I said when I stood directly in front of him, ignoring the whispers and giggles around us.
He didn’t blink. “Hey.”
I felt awkward then, not quite knowing what to do next, so I turned and walked away. If he followed, cool. If he didn’t, I’d tell everyone I had decided to go home. Real mature.
Luckily, he followed. I could sense him, even before I heard his footsteps. I led him toward the woods but didn’t know why I was moving toward the place my grandmother had been murdered. I usually took the long way around to avoid the woods, but there I was, heading straight for the trees, daring something to come for me.
As he reached me, his hand slipped around mine, and he led me among the trees and away from safety, straight into the darkness.
The thought occurred to me that he had something to do with the werewolves, and that he might be leading me into danger, but he pushed me against a tree and kissed me roughly, instead. When our teeth collided, I thought I might die of embarrassment, but he didn’t stop and instead, wrapped his arms around my waist.
He tasted like mint, and his kiss was a little sloppy. But I liked being in the woods and having something to think about other than death. I needed to make memories that didn’t involve loss or grief. I drank in his scent, feeling dizzy as it overwhelmed me, and I clung to him tighter than before. I was afraid to let go, but I was more afraid of letting the bad thoughts arise. I shivered, and he pulled away before I could stop him.
“You okay?” he whispered, his lips redder than usual, and that calm expression wiped off his face. I nodded, staring at him, wondering why I wasn’t afraid or embarrassed anymore. Everything I had imagined about him had blown up in my face. Now he was ordinary and like everyone else. Yet, I didn’t leave.
I didn’t wander into woods to kiss boys I barely knew every day, but I felt as though this might be the right thing to do this time. A little of the ache in my chest dissipated while he held me, the pain flying away at the normality of it all. Not the perfect kiss or the perfect boy, but definitely, the perfect time.
I kissed him again, and he held me closer than before, his hands travelling across my body until I pushed him away.
“I have to go,” I said.
Without protest, he nodded, and moved to follow me.
“I don’t need to be walked home,” I insisted. I needed to catch my breath.
“I know,” he said once again, falling into step next to me.
We walked in silence to my home, and the awkwardness came back with a bang. We lingered outside my house, and though he moved to kiss me, I pulled back and glanced warily at the house.
“My family…”
“I don’t care,” Connor said before kissing me briefly on the lips. “Can I see you Saturday?”
“Oh, I can’t. I promised my brother…”
“The day after, then,” he said before I could think of a reasonable excuse.
“Oh.” I fidgeted at my bracelet as I considered the question. Did I really want to see him on the weekend? Yes. Did I want to kiss him again? Maybe. Was it better than sitting at home with my family? Definitely.
“Okay,” I said after a couple of seconds. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll knock for you, maybe.” He kissed me for a moment longer before heading off, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. Watching him leave, I was baffled by the way I had acted. I needed to get inside before one of my family members sniffed me, and him, out. That would be embarrassing.
Inside, Nathan pointedly didn’t say a word about Connor, even though I could tell he knew what was going on.
I almost smiled.

***

I eavesdropped on the family meeting that didn’t include me. It was more of the same circling and disagreeing and hurt feelings. Nathan was convinced that this other wolf, Ryan, would help us, and he was standing up to Opa, except my grandfather wouldn’t accept what Nathan claimed. He couldn’t seem to face doing things somebody else’s way. Well, if Nathan could stand up to him, then so could I. When Opa stormed off, completely unwilling to listen or be reasonable, I decided to take him on.
Nathan and Jeremy took Byron to see Ryan, leaving me alone with Opa. I knew he probably wanted to be entirely alone, but this time, I wasn’t going to take his feelings into consideration. This time, I needed to be strong, tenacious, and brave. All of the things I wanted to be.
“Don’t you think running off to have a sulk is a little counter-productive?”
He almost dropped his mug of coffee in surprise. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“You’re a werewolf. Sneaking up should be near impossible.”
“Yes, well…” He waved me away in his embarrassment. “Don’t you have some homework to do?”
“No.” I stared at his back, wondering how to begin. I finally decided on jumping in. Screw the consequences. “Opa. When are you going to see sense? Can’t you see you’re pulling the family apart? If you really want them to respect you, then you have to show some respect first. You can’t act like a bull and shove your way through every conversation.”
He raised both brows in surprise. “Child, are you really lecturing me on manners?”
“No. Common sense, maybe. We’ve only just pulled Nathan back into the fold, yet you seem determined to push him away again. You loved us once. Doesn’t that mean anything to you now?”
We stared at each other as my words echoed in the air. Did he love us still? Was that hurt I saw in his eyes?
“Mémère would want you to take care of us. She’d want you to love us, no matter what. And Nathan’s not stupid. He’s pretty smart… for a werewolf. And if he says he trusts Ryan, then I believe him. Maybe you should give him some credit for a change.” He didn’t say a word as I left the room, but I turned back for the last word anyway. “You might not remember the man you used to be, but I do. He wasn’t anything like you, and I’d really love to have him back.”

***

Kali

She hadn’t seen him for three days. Three whole days. Nibbling on her fingernail, she wondered what could have happened. Had he grown bored of her? Too busy on the farm? Had his wife found out and forbidden him from seeing her?
Every single day that she didn’t see him felt worse than the last. She barely ate; she couldn’t sleep, and her takings grew less and less as her concentration fell. Her heart was breaking at his desertion. She knew his absence would tear her up. She wouldn’t survive losing the only hope she’d had. He’d been the only one to keep her going.
Drina had all but abandoned her and constantly insisted that Kali should take on her responsibilities with pleasure. Keeping joy in her heart, when her world was crumbling around her, seemed impossible.
She watched for him on the way home, desperate for a glimpse of him. A gasp of relief came to her lips as she saw his form. She ran to him, urgent in her need to get close to him, but he backed away, hands raised.
“What is it?” he asked as his eyes darted from side to side.
“Where have you been?” she demanded, tears standing in her eyes.
He looked momentarily shocked at her words. “I don’t have an obligation to you.”
She bit her bottom lip to squelch a sob. “But you said…”
“I’m sorry.” His eyebrows gathered into a frown. “Did something happen to you?”
“Oh, Andriy. The worst news I could ever hear.”
She trudged across the fields to find a place to sit, confident he was behind her. When her tears had stopped, she told him everything.
“The ceremony is in a couple of days. And after that, he’s forcing me to marry.”
“To marry,” he said slowly. “To a good man?”
She shook her head. “A vile man. My father’s selling me, condemning me to a life of misery. I can’t live like this.”
“We all have our crosses to bear.”
For some reason his words irritated her even more. She thought he would at least be upset at the idea.
“Do you even understand what this means? I’ll live a decade of misery, and then I’ll die in childbirth. Because all he wants, all any of them want, are my children.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Sorry,” she gasped. “Sorry? You don’t see it. You don’t see what will happen. In a couple of days I will be chovihani. I will work every day. And I am the seventh of the seventh. My children will be guardians of my people. Wolf guardians.”
“Wolfmen?” he asked, his voice suddenly excited.
“Of sorts,” she said, feeling as if the life would drain out of her right in front of him if he didn’t begin to speak the words she needed to hear. “Don’t you care that I’ll be married?”
“I’m married,” he said gently, and her tears began again.
“I thought you would help me get away,” she cried before running away. He called after her, but she couldn’t bear to look at him. He didn’t care for her after all.
Her life was almost over.

Chapter Twelve

Amelia

I woke up with the worst headache yet. With tears streaming from my eyes—partly from Kali’s sorrow—I struggled to get dressed. Nathan had already knocked on my door three times to get me out of the house and to safety, which he thought was the café of the hospital, a slightly ridiculous idea to me. Apparently, my lecture had helped the cause, because Opa had finally decided he wanted to meet with Ryan and Willow, once and for all.
I would be stuck to Perdita’s hip while the rest of the family took care of business, but at least I would get out. Besides, Perdita and I needed some time together. I checked my phone, but neither Connor nor Ger had texted or called me since I kissed Connor. I tried to ignore my disappointment. I wasn’t even sure if I liked Connor that much, but if he’d acknowledged what happened, at the very least, I would have felt better.
She was waiting for me outside the hospital, dancing from one foot to the other.
“I’m so happy to see you,” she said with a grin. “I’m bored out of my mind here.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit you more often.”
She looked taken aback. “Are you kidding? You have your own stuff to be dealing with. I’m happy you’re here now. I’m kind of nervous, though. Wanna wig out on caffeine with me all day?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
We bagged ourselves a table by the window. She really was hyped up. She couldn’t stop fidgeting. I wondered how it would feel to constantly wonder if your mate was okay or not.
“So how is everything at school?” she asked. “Joey only remembers the bits to do with actual studying, and he’s crazy dedicated to revising for the summer exams.”
“Freak,” I couldn’t help saying, but she grinned at me.
“I know, right?”
“It’s okay. Kind of lucky it’s a doss year because I haven’t been paying much attention.”
“Just okay?” she asked.
“Well, kind of awful, really.”
She made a sympathetic face. “What is it?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly irritated by the heat of my hair. “It’s just… everyone’s constantly talking about either you or Nathan, lately, or this thing with your dad, or Nathan scrapping with Aaron. It’s tiring to hear the same questions, over and over again.”
“New friends not helping?”
“Actually, Tammie kind of helps me out now and then. Weird, I know. I wish she could be like that the whole time.”
A frown marred her expression. “Yeah. I don’t know what’s going on with her, but there’s obviously something.”
“I kind of kissed someone last night,” I blurted, my cheeks heating up from the look she gave me.
“Who?”
“Connor. Don’t know his surname. He’s in my year, though. You know him?”
“There’s, like, seven Connors in your year. I need a little extra,” she said wryly.
“I don’t know much about him. I think he lives near me. He hangs around with Ger and Julie, those girls you saw me with. And he has the coolest colour eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“Um, well, I don’t know about the eye thing, but I think I might know him. He has a brother in sixth year. So, what, you like him?”
I shrugged. I really liked Andriy. Or rather, Kali liked him so much that her desire had left its mark on me as well. What I felt for Connor didn’t measure up to that in any way. “Maybe. We’re supposed to be meeting up tomorrow, but… you know.”
“Okay, what’s the deal, Little Miss Not-So-Enthusiastic? You like him or not?”
I had to laugh at her expression. I wondered if our relationship was similar to one between sisters, and I thought of Kali and Drina. Yep, pretty much exactly what it would be like.
“He’s… nice. I think I might like him a lot if it wasn’t for…”
“For what?”
“Andriy,” I admitted.
“Who now?”
“Andriy. Andriy from my dreams.”
She scrunched up her nose. “Please tell me you’re not serious.”
“It’s not like… it isn’t… Oh, for the love of… it’s not me. It’s Kali. She’s crazy in love with Andriy, and I feel it, too. Everything she feels in the dreams ripples out into real life. I get so many of the echoes that I can’t remember what I’m about.”
“Now, I’m worried,” she said, “because I don’t feel as if you’re exaggerating here. And this sounds really freaking dangerous to me.”
“Dangerous? How?”
“Well, what if she feels like hurting somebody? Hurting herself? What would that do to you? I think you’re right about these dreams. They have to mean something. Nobody dreams about the same person night after night. At least, not in the way you are. You need to speak to your grandfather about this. Maybe he knows more than we would. And those headaches. You’re still getting them, right?”
I nodded glumly.
“Not only that,” she said, then hesitated. “You look sick, Amelia. Really sick. Don’t think I can’t see how thin you’ve gotten because you’re piling on the clothes.”
“I’m not doing it on purpose. I just can’t eat enough.”
“Maybe you really are sick. We’re in a hospital. We could ask one of the nurses about the headaches.”
“No.” I shook my head fervently and regretted it as blinding pain shot through my skull. “Not now. Let’s get this other stuff out of the way first.”
Her face fell, and I could see she had almost forgotten what Nathan was doing.
“They’ll be fine,” I reassured her, as genuine pain flitted across her face.
“I know. Even if it’s all a trick, they’ll still be okay, right?”
I couldn’t knock away her hopeful look. “Of course. They know what they’re doing.”
“When is this going to end? I mean, how long is it going to take? Are they ever going to stop coming for us?”
I wanted to throw up. The pain was worsening. I took some painkillers before answering. “It has to stop. One way or another. We have to wait until…” I took a deep breath. “Until my family does what it takes to end the conflict.”

***

Kali

Her father took her far from the camp, and part of her expected to die out in the muddy fields. Sunny days had turned to lightning crackling in the sky, and the grass was sodden with persistent rain. Heavy heat sent beads of sweat down her brow.
The stormy weather matched her heart.
Every heartbeat signified another step closer to marriage and unhappiness. Another step away from Andriy and the freedom he represented. The ceremony would only be witnessed by two people, Kali and her father. The earth wept along with her.
He prepared the ceremony in a cave and forced her to stand outside in the rain. He covered her eyes with a blindfold while she waited. She steeled herself for the sound of the bells to ward off evil spirits, but it didn’t come. She realised, too late, that he probably intended to invite them. She swallowed hard a couple of times and smelled liquid grass. Hot rain drenched her back, and she sensed the eyes of small animals watching her warily.
Worst of all, she saw the darkness in her blood. That thing which called to her, clung to her, and lured her in. She ignored it because she didn’t know what else to do. Her father’s ceremony, no doubt, called it down upon her, but she would be brave. She would stand tall and remain defiant to the last.
These were her last days of freedom, and she wouldn’t waste them cowering for mercy that did not exist. She would take her power, accept her responsibilities, and allow herself to mourn for mere days instead of years. She might not take on her destiny with happiness in her heart, but she would not allow it to kill her in her sleep. Andriy’s acceptance spurned her on.
She sensed her father’s presence again, although his steps were soundless. Cold hands drifted across her face, marking her with something cool. The rain would wash it away, but that didn’t deter him.
His hands on her shoulders, he pushed her to her knees, forcing a metal cup to her lips. Taking the cup, she sipped the contents, her stomach turning at the tang. She knew there was blood in the liquid, probably her father’s, and although unnecessary, she drained the cup without complaint. Anything to get the day over with.
For an hour, he stepped around her, chanting and moaning, until he finally removed the blindfold and led her into the cave. She could barely see for the smoke, but the dizziness came from the liquid she drank.
She collapsed to the ground, her cheek against dirt and stone, as she watched her father through bleary eyes. She saw impossible visions of horror, fanged creatures with yawning mouths silently screaming in her face, their rancid breath turning her stomach. Images of shadowy hands grabbed her feet to drag her into the nether. She felt the pricks of a snake’s bite and the sensation of a million spiders crawling over her skin, but when she recovered from her visions, nothing was there.
Her father spoke to nothing and to everything. He pleaded and begged and offered her soul to the darkness. She could do nothing to stop him, but it didn’t matter.
She wasn’t his to give.
She had always been a gift, given to him, temporary and fleeting. Not his in this life or the next. He never did understand that. He never comprehended what it was he was trading when he made his thoughtless deals with devils and demons.
Frustrated, he cried out, but she couldn’t understand the words. Blood dripped from his forearms, travelling down until it fell from his fingers to puddles on the floor. This would never be her life. Her eyes drifted closed, and she welcomed the darkness of her own making.

***

She awoke on a blanket, comfortable and warm. The cave was empty, apart from that. No fire, no smoke, no father.
She felt… fine. More than fine. Something new simmered under her skin. She couldn’t tell if it was her own determination or her imagination which had gained something from the ceremony. She left the cave to see her father outside, waiting quietly for her. There was no sign of madness in his eyes and no hints that his actions of the night before had taken hold.
“We return,” was all he said.
As they walked, she wondered if she could work up the courage to plead for her freedom, yet again. Before she spoke, though, he hushed her.
“Not now, Kali. I’m tired.”
And he did look tired. He had aged overnight. His entire appearance had a lifeless, listless look about it. He had lost some of himself at his false ceremony, of that, she was certain.
At the camp, her people looked upon her with different eyes, as though a novice was so much less than a proven chovihani. She hadn’t really proven herself and had only her father’s word to vouch for her.
Drina, her face paler than usual, drew her arms around her sister. “You survived,” she said with a grim smile.
“Are you well?” Worry gripped Kali, and a dreadful premonition filled her soul.
“Well enough. We’ll celebrate tonight, little sister. Your life is beginning.”
Something in those words chilled Kali. Her father pulled her away. “Smile,” he hissed in her ear as he led her to the man he wanted her to marry.
What an oaf he was, this man named Besnik who was supposed to father her children. A slovenly man looking for his second wife, Besnik’s heavy-lidded eyes and large, scarred hands repulsed her. Besnik gave her a long glance before calling over his mother, an old woman almost as abhorrent as he. Her wrinkled fingers squeezed Kali’s hips, and she nodded at her son.
“She’ll do,” Besnik told her father. He refused to look at Kali again, and she caught a vision of her future.
Pain.

Chapter Thirteen

Amelia

When I saw Nathan after the big meeting, I thought something had gone badly wrong. But everyone was okay, so no obvious fights had broken out.
“What’s with the grumpy face?”
“Don’t start.” He shook his head, staring into space. I sat on the swing next to him, shivering as the night air raised goose bumps on my skin.
“So what happened?”
He pushed back with his feet, let go, and swung. Higher and higher he went, until he took a flying jump and landed on his feet. “They killed our parents, Amelia.”
I hopped off my swing and stilled his, but I stayed quiet, knowing he needed to talk it out for himself.
“Ryan said he heard what happened to them. This Vin wolf decided Mum would make good breeding material and sent his pack after her. Dad fought for her and wouldn’t stop fighting. Dad wasn’t into violence at all, but he fought a whole gang of wolves for her. The pack held him down and made him watch them hurt her… and she died. So he went mental and killed three of them before they took him down.”
I swore, following him as he wandered along the grass, going nowhere in particular. “I’m so sorry.”
He stared at me as though I had gone crazy. “Why are you saying sorry? They were your parents, too.”
“Yeah, I know, but…” I bit my lip. “I don’t really remember them anymore. And I’m sorry for that, too.”
“Doesn’t matter. You were a kid. How could you?”
He sat on the grass, rubbing his face and looking absolutely miserable. “I have to fight the werewolves who killed our parents. I have to face them. And I have to let them live.”
“Why?” I asked, suddenly fierce.
“Because Mum and Dad would never want me to be like them. Perdita would never look at me the same again. But Jeremy and Opa want me to do whatever it takes. They want me to channel the pain and use it to hurt our enemies. And those werewolves would deserve to suffer, Amelia, for what they did. But I can’t… I can’t kill someone.”
“It’s a war,” I said resolutely. “They would be casualties of war. But I don’t think you would be happy if you did commit murder. Revenge isn’t the answer.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Look at Opa. All he wants is revenge. Do you think it will make him any happier to get it? Do you really think he’ll celebrate when he finally gets his way? He won’t. He’ll be even more miserable because all he’ll have left are memories and the fact Mémère’s gone for good. That’s the real reason he’s changed. He’ll do absolutely anything to avoid thinking about her.”
“Dad fought for Mum, though. Killed for her.”
“You fought for Perdita. She fought for you. You’ll fight to protect the family. That’s good enough, Nathan.”
I knew he would put how he was feeling in a box until everything had gotten back to normal. That wasn’t good for him, but that was how he dealt with things. I hoped he kept his focus in the heat of battle.

***

Connor hadn’t called or texted me by the following afternoon. I agonised over whether to call him first. I didn’t want to come across as overly eager, but I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t interested either. I wasn’t totally sure if I was interested or not, but I needed something normal. The news about my parents had shaken Byron, Nathan and me. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. In a way, I was relieved that strangers had caused my mother’s death, and that she’d not died at the hands of my father. The idea that the other pack had gotten away with the murders, for so long, crept under my skin and stayed there.
So Connor would have been a good distraction if he had called. The compromise was for me to call Ger, instead.
“Oh, hey, Amelia,” she said, sounding surprised when she answered.
“Hey. Boring day, so I thought I’d drag you down with me.”
She laughed. “Well, thanks for that. Oh, my… Will you lot ever shut up? I’m on the phone! Sorry about that. Ignorant pigs today.”
“Who?” I hoped I didn’t sound too interested.
“Oh, the usual misfits. Julie, Martin, Connor…”
She named a couple more people, but I had heard enough. He hadn’t bothered to text or show up because he was busy with Julie.
“Oh, right, cool,” I said hurriedly. “I’ll let you go. Someone’s calling me.”
I barely let her say goodbye before hanging up the phone. I wanted to die of mortification. I was so stupid. I had myself twisted up in knots trying to find what Kali and Andriy had, when they didn’t have anything at all. Neither did I.
I tried to tell myself I was only a little embarrassed, which I was. But more than that, I was hurt. I felt completely rejected, even if I didn’t like Connor as much as I could have. No big spark existed between us, and I could never see myself looking at him the way Perdita looked at Nathan. To be with someone normal, though, and forget about everything else for a few minutes, had been nice.
Later, Nathan and Perdita asked me to go to the zoo with them, so I didn’t hesitate. Anything was better than sitting at home waiting for Connor to call.
As soon as we caught a bus into town, I knew I’d made a mistake. Not only were Nathan and Perdita sappier than usual, I felt like crap, again. The headaches were more frequent, and I felt as though my entire body was being pulled down by weights. My joints hurt. The sun hurt. Noise hurt. Everything bloody hurt.
We walked through the park to get to the zoo, and passed screaming, over-excited kids, and gangs of flirting teenagers. I wanted to puke, for real. The zoo was hot and crowded, and I couldn’t pay attention to Nathan and Perdita because my head hurt so much. Glories of glories, my phone rang, and I knew without hesitation that it was Connor.
“I’ll only be a minute,” I said, a little embarrassed by the knowing look on Perdita’s face. My whole mood buoyed at the idea of talking to Connor, and I wondered if that little flutter in the pit of my stomach was a good thing.
“I called in at your house,” he said as soon as I answered the phone.
“At my—really? And you survived?”
He laughed, and that little flutter moved superfast. “Just about. You had to be the only girl in the family, didn’t you?”
“Their bark is worse than their bite.” Unless they were on four legs and covered in fur.
“It’s cool. So what are you doing?”
“Erm, I’m at the zoo with my brother and his girlfriend.”
He laughed again, but when he spoke I heard disappointment. “I guess you won’t be around today.”
“I kinda thought you were busy. You know, with Ger and all.” I held my breath.
“Definitely not busy. Maybe I should have texted you first.”
“Maybe.” Suddenly my voice sounded deeper, kind of flirty. How did that happen?
“So if I text you tonight, do you think you might come out for a while?”
This time I laughed. “I might. But I better go now. I’ll tell the lions you said hello.”
By the time I got back to Nathan and Perdita, I felt so much better. Maybe I did like Connor after all. We moved along the enclosures, and even the screaming kids stopped bothering me as I thought about what Connor and I might do that evening.
Then we found the wolves.
Nathan leaned against the enclosure, pain in his expression, but all I cared about was the way all of the wolves kept their eyes on me. I inched closer to Nathan, and the eyes all followed. They knew. They knew my secrets. They could tell I was wrong somehow. They knew more than my own family.
“I feel bad for them,” Nathan said.
“Me too,” I whispered. “They look so bored.”
Ordinarily, they might have been bored, but now they were interested in me and couldn’t take their eyes off me. One approached, and I held my breath. His howl tore through me, breaking my heart.
I grabbed Nathan’s arm as more of them approached, coming out from behind rocks to warn me off and defend themselves. What was so scary about me?
“They’re scared of me,” Nathan said. “What am I supposed to be?”
I glanced at him in alarm. Did he not see how they were looking at me? Wary of me?
Perdita led us both away as the entire zoo went crazy. The wolves kicked off all of the other animals, and I heard screeches and whines and an awful thudding as the gorillas threw themselves at the barrier that caged them.
Outside, I couldn’t help hugging myself. “That was so strange.” My voice shook, and my hands trembled. The reaction of the wolves had verified all of my secret suspicions.
Perdita tried to cheer up Nathan, but I could barely breathe because I was so freaked out. The animals had responded to me. I felt as though I should let Nathan know so he’d stop beating himself up about it, but then he would discover the thing I had suspected for a while now, about myself. There was something really wrong with me.
I heard Perdita mention something about dead gypsies wanting her and him to be together.
“One gypsy,” I said before I could stop myself. They both turned to look at me, and I panicked.
“What?” Nathan said, but there was something in his voice, an underlying anger that made me want to cry.
“I need to go home. I’m not feeling so good.” I did feel like crap, and my head was more screwed up than ever. Agitation drew around my body and needled my nerves.
As soon as we got off the bus, I hurried on ahead, unwilling to stand next to Nathan and Perdita. I wanted to throw up, but I had to make it to the house. I ran up the driveway, practically shouldered my way in the door, and made it to the stairs before falling down. Jeremy caught me before my head connected with the floor.
“I tripped!” I half-screamed at him before running upstairs, stumbling over my feet. I made it to the bathroom, slammed the door behind me and retched. Nothing came up. I felt as though I was hacking up my guts, and while there was a terrible taste in my mouth, my queasy stomach refused to empty itself.
I needed to go to bed. But Jeremy was outside my bedroom, waiting for me. “You’re not pregnant, are you?” he asked, smiling.
“Shut up,” I said, still feeling woozy. He caught my arm as I stumbled again.
“You should lie down before you hurt yourself,” he warned.
“I’m trying to.”
“There’s something going on downstairs.” He hesitated. “I’ll be back to check on you.”
“Leave me alone. I need to sleep.”
And sleep I did. Until the afternoon of the next day. My eyes wouldn’t open properly, and I felt exhausted, still, as though even sleep drained me of energy. Someone left me food and water, but I couldn’t sit up long enough to consume anything.
I seriously suspected I might be dying.

***

Kali

She was woken roughly during the night. She reached out for her sister, but nobody was there.
“Wake up. You’re needed.”
Eyes still blurred with sleep, she allowed Drina’s sister-in-law to lead the way. Then she remembered. Chovihani. She was needed. Someone was ailing, most likely.
Nothing could have prepared her for the scene.
Her sister, draped in bloody cloths, lay in a dead faint. Her face was drawn and deathly pale. Women gathered around her. One was a midwife.
“But it’s too early,” Kali blurted. Drina had at least six weeks to go. An early birth was no great thing.
Drina opened her eyes and moaned.
“It’s her time. Give her something for pain,” said the traditional midwife, an elderly woman who had helped pregnant gypsies for years.
Kali took one look at her sister’s eyes, eyes that didn’t see her, and ran. She screamed for her father’s help, but she knew he wouldn’t come.
Death was coming instead.
Her trembling hands found remedies among her belongings. On stumbling feet, she returned to her sister’s confinement. She patted powder on her sister’s dry lips, bade her to lick, and then forced a long swallow of a potent drink down her throat.
Drina’s eyes found Kali’s, and she managed a smile. “Do you see my future, little sister?”
Kali shook her head, her mouth trembling so much she couldn’t speak.
“I do,” Drina said. “I’ve loved you. Make sure my babies are taken care of.”
“Don’t leave me,” Kali whispered in her ear, holding Drina’s hand.
A tear rolled down Drina’s cheek, and her body jerked upward suddenly. She squeezed Kali’s hand until the spasm ended, but the cloths were soaked with fresh blood, and Kali knew there wasn’t much time. Drina’s eyes fluttered lazily as she lost herself in the pain.
“Fight it,” Kali urged. “Don’t sleep. Stay with me. Please, don’t leave me.” A sob caught in her throat, and she shook her head firmly. She wouldn’t be weak now. Drina needed her to be strong. Gulping hard, she leaned her forehead against Drina’s shoulder. “It doesn’t have to be this way. I can try…”
“No.” Drina’s voice had weakened, but her intent stayed true. “You won’t. Not you. Listen to me. Listen. Find a way to be happy. Don’t let your heart die as his did. Be strong for me.”
The night passed too quickly. The spasms of pains increased, and the blood loss wouldn’t ease. The life sapped from Drina’s body. Kali felt her world cracking apart as her sister’s heartbeat slowed. She felt Drina’s pain reach inside her, grip her heart and pull it out, as Drina took her last breath.
“I’m cutting her. The baby’s almost out.” The midwife’s voice brought Kali back into the world. The baby. A light in the darkness. She stared stolidly at her sister’s body as the midwife cut her way to the baby.
A tiny body slipped out into her bloody hands. A boy. Blue. Lifeless. Too small.
Drina was dead for nothing.
Kali stayed with her sister’s body for hours, guarding it until she was carried away screaming. Her father made her swallow a draught that would calm her down, but she didn’t sleep. She could lose anything but Drina. Her sister was the only one keeping her feet on the ground. She couldn’t bear the loss or the fact she would never hear her sister’s laugh again. Jaelle, her niece, would be taken from her. The child belonged to her father’s family, though Drina’s death made them impure for a time. Kali was still clean because Drina had left her family the day she married. The camp women were all so accepting of Drina’s death, and they didn’t understand how she felt. Drina’s death was the end of everything good and decent in her life. Nothing could keep her on the right path anymore.
At least her father seemed to give her time to mourn. Embarrassed by her public displays of grief, Besnik sent word that he didn’t want a sobbing new bride and gave her one month to say goodbye. One month to cauterise the pain, as though that would ever be enough.
Her father forbade her from seeing the body because he didn’t care for her sobbing, either, and he didn’t want to give Besnik the chance to change his mind. If he had shown even the slightest regret that Drina was dead, then Kali might have forgiven her father for everything. If he’d acknowledged with the slightest sign any sorrow that he’d outlived his daughter, Kali might have warmed to him, and calmed the beast in her head that told her to run.
But the bitterness inside her twisted and churned until she realised she would never sleep. She slipped away, running as soon as she gained a healthy distance from the camp. She knew where Andriy lived, or at least knew the general direction of his farm, and she knew she would have to go to him or never find peace and comfort again.
Still covered in her sister’s blood, she ran before dawn broke across the sky, ignoring everything around her except the beating of her heart, which was the only thing that kept her going. She recalled the second Drina’s heart stopped and how her sister’s body felt so empty, merely a shell because Drina’s soul was long gone.
Kali found the farm. Her legs ached from the run. What was she doing? She had nobody else, and if she didn’t tell someone, then she would go completely insane.
She climbed a gate and immediately set off a dog barking. One ran from behind the house, paws slipping in its haste, and the barking increasing as it spied her. The black beast ran straight to her, and she froze in horror. A low whistle halted the animal, and it skidded in the dirt, slammed right into her legs, and knocked her over. She couldn’t get up. Tears streaming, she sat there and wept until Andriy reached her, his face full of concern.
“Are you hurt?” he asked urgently, pulling her to her feet.
She shook her head. “My sister. The baby. They died. She died in my arms, and the baby was already gone. It was for nothing, Andriy. She died for nothing. And that’s what’s going to happen to me.”
He pulled her into his arms, and she savoured the feel of his chest, the way his arms made her feel protected. She clung to his shirt and inhaled his scent. She was desperate to preserve that one memory.
“It won’t happen to you,” he said.
She pushed him away, fresh tears falling. “It will. All they want is for me to bear child after child before it’s too late for me to bear any more. My mother died in childbirth, and now Drina’s gone, too. This is what happens to us.”
She brushed tears from her cheeks, watching the pity in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but a voice called for him from the house. Marusya.
“Run,” he urged, and she did. As much as she wanted him for herself, she couldn’t find it in herself to bring any more trouble his way. She heard Marusya’s yells as she ran, and she knew the woman had seen her. She didn’t regret coming to Andriy, though, because she had felt something for a couple of seconds in Andriy’s arms. Protection, concern… and love.

Chapter Fourteen

Amelia

I woke up crying. My sister was dead. After a couple of moments I remembered I didn’t have a sister, yet the pain remained because now I knew what it would feel like to lose Perdita. The curse would kill her. I would mourn her, too. I couldn’t feel that pain or loss again. I wouldn’t be able to take it.
Why was I suffering someone else’s pain in my dreams? The dreams had an urgency—Kali’s time was running out. Some event, really significant, felt near. My time was running out, too. Each day, the other werewolves had another chance to come after us, and I couldn’t even defend myself.
That morning, the headaches were worse than usual. My entire body felt as though it were submerged in water and weighted down by rocks. I moved slowly, didn’t eat for fear of vomiting, and swallowed painkillers that did nothing to ease the pain. I couldn’t go anywhere with Connor. I didn’t want to see anyone. I locked myself in my room for most of the day, only surfacing for water or more painkillers.
Nobody noticed.
When Connor texted me, I explained I was feeling sick, and that I would see him the following week, but I didn’t know if I was going to last that long. Something was happening to me.
I nodded off a couple of times, but Kali’s world was dark and quiet. She sat alone, not crying, only thinking of her sister. I was glad to wake up. All I wanted was to push those awful memories away.
Later, Nathan brought me food, and I pretended to nibble at it as he told me the news; the werewolves were on their way. They were coming for us.
Time had run out.

***

Kali

Her father sent her back to the village two days after Drina’s death. Her mood had infected the camp, he told her. Now was the time to show them what she was made of.
She didn’t go to the village. She found the spot where Andriy waited for her and stayed there most of the day. She had some water and a little food, but her appetite had left. She waited, wondering what she would do if he didn’t come. She might turn into stone and become part of the earth.
Two men approached her in the evening, around the time she would normally be walking home. Deep in her heart, she knew they carried ill-will toward her. Even before they called to her, she knew. Even before one tried to grab hold of her. She dodged his grasp and ran, hoping they weren’t as fast as she, but her skirts weighed her down. And the men were determined.
One caught up, and gripped her arms tightly as he tried to carry her across the fields. She launched her knee at his groin, and he let go in surprise. Though she ran again, another was waiting, and clamped his hand against her mouth. She bit hard, and with a yell, he let go and pulled her arms behind her back. She tried to kick, but the first man had recovered. He grabbed her legs and helped carry her off.
She squirmed and wriggled, yelled and screamed, and the men seemed to change their minds, because they threw her down into a ditch where she landed in deep muck.
They disappeared from view, but she heard shouting and realised Andriy had come. Andriy had found her. But what if they hurt him? Long minutes later, Andriy gazed into the ditch and raised his eyebrows.
“Do you need help?” he asked.
She held her hand in the air in response. He climbed down the sodden embankment, trying to avoid the softer parts, but as he gripped her hand and pulled, she slipped back heavily, pulling him on top of her. With his entire weight on her body, his mouth barely an inch from hers, and his gaze unwavering, she felt excitement and hope. A reason to fight.
Feeling a burst of bravery, she raised her hand to his face and traced a muddy streak across his cheek. He didn’t move, save for the trembling, and she kissed him for long seconds. His lips responded to hers; his arms held her tight, and she felt as though a dream had come true.
The moment ended too quickly. He pulled back, sadness in his eyes, and he apologised.
“Don’t say you are sorry,” she whispered, “for I am not.”
His breath seemed to catch in his throat, but he lifted off her and helped her up the embankment, to the grass.
“I can’t go back like this.” She gestured to the muck caked on her clothes and skin.
“The lake,” he said in reply, his voice more quiet than usual.
Don’t regret it, she silently pleaded.
At the lake, they both washed the mud and grime from their skin, and Kali cleaned her skirts and even her hair as best she could. She felt his eyes on her, and she turned to catch his gaze. There was heat in his glance, and it thrilled every cell in her body. She inched closer to him, and he didn’t move away.
He took her hand and walked to the shore where she crawled onto his lap for another kiss. He didn’t refuse her. This time their kiss was rougher. Full of goodbyes. He pushed her gently onto the grass, straddled her body, and lifted her skirts. She knew she would never regret his touch.

Chapter Fifteen

Amelia

“Holy…”
I jolted upward, my heart pounding in the dark. For once I knew where I was, who I was, and that what I had experienced was a dream, though I couldn’t believe all I’d seen was a figment of my own subconscious imagination. I couldn’t accept that Andriy and Kali had never existed. I also couldn’t believe they’d been brave enough to make that one irrevocable mistake. A mistake that could change everything.
Part of me applauded them for seeking out happiness, while another part of me wanted to slap them for being so stupid. They would be discovered—everything had consequences. The curse was teaching me that. However, I’d always encouraged Nathan to follow his heart, and now I was planning on taking his soul mate away from him as soon as I figured out how.
It was the middle of the night, and I felt a little hungry. I stumbled downstairs and picked at leftovers in the fridge.
“Amelia?”
I jumped at the sound of Opa’s voice.
“Yeah, sorry. I was hungry.”
“Good. You need to eat, little one.”
Tears came to my eyes at the gentleness of my grandfather’s tone, and I felt as though I hadn’t heard his voice in a year. I turned to gaze at him in wonder, and he shrugged.
“You were right. All along, you were right. I let my own pain break up the family. But it will get better. I promise you.”
I shook my head and took a deep breath to control the shaking in my voice. “Don’t make promises. Right now, they don’t mean much. Show us it’ll be better. Show us everything can go back to normal.”
When he bowed his head, I knew he couldn’t take things back to the way they were. “We’ll never have the same lives again,” he said. “I can’t change what’s happened; I can’t change how I feel. I need Vin to suffer after what he did to your grandmother. I need to feel as though I’ve done something for her and that I haven’t forgotten her. I don’t want to live in a world in which she doesn’t exist, but I won’t leave it until I’ve repaid a debt of pain. The wolf will never rest as long as he lives. Please understand how it has to be.”
“If you wanted to prove your love, then you’d honour her memory, Opa. She would hate this, and you know it. She would hate to see us like this, gunning for blood, unable to find peace until we grabbed ourselves a dose of revenge. This isn’t the way we’re supposed to be.”
“It’s the way I have to be,” he said, his eyes sad. “I need to do what I should have done all those years ago. I would have saved us a lifetime of pain.”
He left the room soundlessly, and I slammed the fridge door, my stomach turning. It was one thing to defend ourselves, but looking for blood was quite another. I needed to get through to him before he led the entire family straight into a violent war.
I went back to bed, but this time I dreaded what visions sleep would bring me.

***

Kali

In the days counting down to her wedding, Kali realised she was carrying Andriy’s child. She had known when they’d made love that the time was right for her to conceive, but she was so interested in comfort and any act that would take her pain away—even momentarily—that she’d purposefully disregarded the possible consequences. She hadn’t cared what would happen next. She had lived for the moment, and now the future was planning on making her pay for it.
The baby could be her way out, but the truth was dangerous. No man would marry her if he knew she was already pregnant at the time of the wedding, by another man. Her father would lose out on the riches he hoped to gain from her. Her people would punish, shun, and reject her everywhere she turned. She could be called before the Kris, suffer her gypsy blood to be taken from her, and lose her magic, perhaps even her child. But she could avoid all of that. All she had to do was run.
She hadn’t seen Andriy since the day he loved her. She hadn’t gone back to the village. Her father had beaten her, but some of the camp women intervened, saying it wasn’t right to make her return so soon to fortune-telling. The women wanted her to reconcile Drina’s death with her physical body, lest Drina’s spirit returned, unable to rest in peace. Kali would have preferred the beating, for that kind of pain was preferable. At least her father’s beatings had kept her thoughts away from her broken heart.
She made her decision that night and crept away in the dead of night. She had found Andriy before, so she would go to him again to say goodbye, at the very least.
If her father or Besnik found her out, they would harm Andriy for taking something of theirs, and she hesitated.
Andriy made her decision for her. He came for her on the eve of her wedding. She saw him in the distance, beyond her people’s campgrounds, and she knew it was him, for she recognised in him everything that marked him as hers.
She didn’t hesitate to run to him, pulling him behind a copse of trees so they wouldn’t be seen.
“What are you doing here?”
His chin shook. “I heard your wedding was tomorrow. My wife found out and rubbed it in my face. She boasted she had sent men to rape you and make you unclean, in the hopes your people would kill you before the wedding. She has a black heart. The way she spoke… I can’t live with her hate.”
“I’m running away,” she told him, anguished by the pain in his eyes.
“Why?”
She took his hand and pressed it against her stomach, gazing at him meaningfully. He stared at her, awe in his expression.
“Truly?”
She nodded, a giggle of excitement escaping her lips. She never thought the idea of a child would please her, but Andriy’s child was something else. The thought of them, combining to make one perfect being, made her heart soar with happiness.
“We could run together,” he said. “We could change our names. Marry. Live free lives. I can’t get your touch out of my mind, Kali. Everything else has tasted like ash since I tasted you. I could never be happy without you.”
She kissed his lips. “We’re meant to be. We’re soul mates, Andriy. I’ll run anywhere with you.”
They left in the dark, taking nothing except the wolfhound called Dog. They made sure to avoid any villages close to gypsy camps. Andriy helped them survive by working odd jobs in the villages in which they stopped, and she did the usual palm reading and fortune-telling while her belly swelled.
Each kick from the baby inside her filled her with awe. She thought she might love the baby even more than she idolised his father. She knew it was a boy; she could sense him clearly. Part of her wished it was Drina’s son reincarnated.
The shadows grew ever closer and never let her forget her heritage. The shadows were brought upon her by her father’s black magic. She wouldn’t allow them to have her child. Never would she allow that.
A thunderstorm tore the sky apart on the night she went into labour. She and Andriy, accompanied only by Dog, huddled together in the small room they rented. She still didn’t know what possessed her to take the animal, but he had served them well so far.
She dreamt through the pain. Nightmarish visions of her sister covered in blood, her hands reaching for Kali, begging with her dead eyes. The dreams didn’t bode well for her, and for the first time, she wondered if her baby would die, too. Perhaps that would be her punishment for her sins.
But the birth went easily, and Kali’s first glimpse of her baby changed everything for her. Her heart belonged to him. She knew it as soon as she felt that first whoosh of true love when his eyes had opened, dark eyes that didn’t waver from hers. Promise and possibility lay in his eyes. To Kali, he was pure beauty, and her heart swelled at the strength in his little fingers and the force behind his kicks.
For six months, the three of them had the perfect life filled with love, happiness, and contentment. She had everything she ever wanted. She stopped looking over her shoulder, and started believing that maybe she deserved every second of the happiness she had stolen. She relaxed and learned to love her life.
Until her father found them.
He came while Andriy was gone with Dog, and he barged through her door as though it were made of cotton.
“I heard you were here. Knew it had to be you. The clan wants me to take you back with me. Besnik wanted to call you before the Kris until the bandolier persuaded him otherwise.” He hacked up a laugh. “He wants me to pay him for what you did. And the wise old bandolier has decided he will not be harsh so long as I do. I’m being punished for your betrayal. I’m suffering for your devil antics.”
The baby in the corner whimpered as the chovihano’s voice rose into a shout. Knowing the power of her father’s words, Kali positioned herself between her father and her son, and spoke evenly.
“Calm down. You’re upsetting him. We’ll pay you back. Leave us now, and we’ll pay you whatever you feel you’re owed.”
“Owed? I’m owed a life debt, daughter. I’m not here to take you back. I’m here to choke the life out of you.”
“Leave me, coward. I’ll not listen to your ugly words. Sneaking around when Andriy isn’t here. You made your own promises; I didn’t help you with that. Suffer with them on your shoulders.” She could see the murder in his eyes, knew her time would run out soon, but if she could hold him off for a while, then Andriy would return to protect their son. All she cared about was her son.
He watched her move protectively, and she saw her mistake. “Oh, I’m not here to end his life,” he said with a hateful sneer. “I’m here to curse every second of his existence. I want you to die knowing he carries the burden of your sins on his shoulders. I promise you he will live a long, agonizing life alone.”
A shudder ran through her as the room darkened. The baby’s whimpers became sobs, and Kali could barely keep her eyes on her father.
“Let him be. He’s no harm to you,” she said. “I’ll give you anything if you forget he exists.” Her voice shook because she knew what he would do. He wanted them to suffer, and he had the black magic to do it.
“I cast you out.” He spat out the words, and their severity stilled the blood in her veins. “Your blood will never find peace. Your descendents will be hounded with the search for happiness and love. Like you, they’ll forget everything but their obsession, and it will slip from their grasp every time. They will mourn. They will suffer. They will never be guardians. They will never protect a soul.”
His words hypnotised her, and she felt the power in the tremors of his voice. The shadows grew closer, clinging to her father, filling him with power.
“No!” she screamed. “Leave us be!” She could take the pain, but she would never allow her child to suffer from it. The shadows touched her, exploring, cautious in their attempt to see if she would accept them. She had her son to consider. She would inhale everything they gave her if it meant she could save him from a life of pain.
“My son will find his soul mate,” she said. “They won’t have eyes for anyone but each other, and they will do anything to protect each other. And his son will find a soul mate, and his grandson. Every single one through the generations will find true love, and when a daughter is born to take over my power, your words will be meaningless. Lost forever.”
He laughed, a laugh full of madness, and he ran for her. His fingers found her throat and squeezed hard. Choking, she stuck her fingers in his eyes and pushed. He fell away, burned by the black magic in her blood, the very magic he had ensured she was gifted with, and the look of fear on his face only compelled her to go further.
“You cast me out? You cannot take what’s mine, but your people will regret this day for eternity. They will see the dead at every turn, and there will never again be guardians for your clan to use,” Kali intoned. “My children will grow stronger while your people wither and die. You will be persecuted and turned away at every village. The blame for everything will rest on your shoulders. You will all suffer for this. Mark my words.”
“You play with the darkness, but you know nothing of the consequences. You know not what the payment will be. But know this, as much as mine are persecuted, so will yours be. Hunted always because you didn’t know your place. Haunted by madness from loss. You foolish girl.”
She didn’t see the flick of his wrist until it was too late. She felt the burn of the stab wound only when the blood ran down her skirts. His gaze flickered toward her son, and she forgot about the pain. She would never let that man hurt her child.
She slapped her father’s face, but the force of the shadows was behind her. She felt the malevolence in her veins, and then she felt its glee as she decided she would outlive her father. They struggled for the knife, but her strength soon overpowered him. He managed to pin down her arms as he aimed for her throat again, but she could have sworn she saw Drina behind him, pulling him away.
His hands released her, and a harsh breath filled her lungs, but blood spurted from her lips as she exhaled. Shadows edged her sight, but she heard struggling, grunting, and a whimper across the room.
A death rattle.
Andriy knelt by her side, his eyes wet with tears.
“Is he dead?” she managed to whisper.
He nodded. “Kali… what can I do?”
“Take our baby. Take Dog. Run from here, and keep him safe. Promise me, Andriy. He’ll need guidance. When he’s sixteen, he will change for the first time. He’ll need help to tame the wolf. And my father managed to curse him.”
“I don’t believe in curses. I believe in us, and I won’t leave you.”
“You have to,” she hissed at him, mildly horrified by the way her blood sprayed across his face. He didn’t even blink. “My father cursed our son, Andriy. Said he wouldn’t find love. That he would suffer with loss and madness. I made it so he’ll find his soul mate, but others might come for him. You have to protect him.”
Her heart slowed. Hazy darkness surrounded her, and when she delved into her own future, it didn’t exist.
“I can’t do this without you.” Andriy’s tears fell on her, mixing with her blood.
“They might come for you, as well. When he’s old enough, you must warn him of the curse. You have to help him understand. I tried to change it, but…”
The last sounds she heard were the screams of a baby and the sobs of a broken-hearted man.

***

Amelia

I felt my heart start again and looked for the safety of my bedroom. But I was still there, in that tiny room, still seeing blood all over the floor. Except I was looking right at Kali’s body and at Andriy holding her in his arms, weeping silently.
“It all went so wrong,” said Kali, an apparition before me. Though taller than me, she had dark eyes and long, wavy hair that closely resembled mine. Her doe-eyes and overly large features made her more interesting looking than pretty.
“What is this?” I asked.
“This is a glimpse at my life. The memories belong to your blood. You interpreted them in your own way, but ultimately, this is my life.” She laughed. “The highlights.”
“Am I dreaming still?”
“Do you see what I did?” she asked dreamily, completely ignoring me. “I should never have used the darkness to help me. To hurt him. My soul has been bound between worlds ever since. I’ve been waiting for so long.”
She gazed at her baby, a mixture of love and sadness in her eyes.
“What happened to them?” I couldn’t help asking. I knew it made no sense, but I had to know what happened next.
“Andriy took our son to his wife,” she spat. “He gave her my son. He told her everything, even the warnings I had given him. Then he walked into the lake and drowned himself. He moved on to the next life without me.”
Wow, she sounded bitter. “So Marusya raised him?”
“Yes. She emigrated with him and made up a fairy tale about the curse. Pretended Andriy had become a werewolf and killed me himself. She claimed my clan cursed Andriy’s bloodline to become werewolves—as if becoming a werewolf was a curse. It was a gift, a great honour. But she made my son feel as if he was a monster. Anything to avoid telling him the truth which was that I mothered the first, that I protected him, and that I loved him. She stole everything from me, to punish me.”
“Why am I seeing all of this? How am I seeing it?”
“You’re my blood. My kin.” She sounded surprised. “You’re the key to ending my father’s words. I wish now that I hadn’t spoken in anger. I made many people suffer with my mistakes. I spoke in a mindless rage. I swear I didn’t intend what was to follow. A wave of hysteria hit Europe, and my people were blamed. They suffered so needlessly, and all because of careless words spoken in anger.”
“Blamed for what?”
She smiled. “The dead walked. At least in the eyes of the gaje. They saw vampires and monsters in the dark, and all eyes turned to blame the gypsies. They were hated and persecuted, probably because of me. Every time I used my power it had consequences I could never have dreamed of. This time was no different. I tried to counteract my father’s curse, but I still didn’t manage to protect my son and his sons. Every single one of them fell to the madness that came with losing their soul mate. And I fear I made it worse by ensuring they couldn’t escape from finding their soul mate. My father and I disrupted the balance, and we all suffered. But you can change it. You can end this for good.”
“End the whole werewolf thing? Or the soul mate thing?”
“The wolf is in your blood. That can’t be undone. But the curse. His words. Mine. That can end. That can be resolved.”
“What do I have to do?”
“Take my responsibilities. A chovihani must pass on her essence. Mine remained on this plane, unable to move on. You can free me. Take it, so I can leave. Free me, daughter. Set me free.”
“What do I do with it? I mean, I haven’t got a clue about magic.”
“You’ll know,” she shouted. “Your wolf will know. Accept it, so I can find my son again. I want my baby. I…”
I jerked back into my own body, my own bed, still screaming about Kali’s baby. Perdita stood in front of my bed, horrified, but I knew what I had to do next.

Chapter Sixteen
Amelia

“Um, are you okay?”
I blinked rapidly, wishing the thudding of my heart wasn’t so damn loud.
“Perdita?” I said, still unsure if I was awake or asleep.
She ran over and sat on the bed next to me. “You need to see a doctor,” she said. “You’re practically delirious.”
“No. No, I’m not. They’re memories, Perdita. I’m sure of it. I think I’m dreaming about how it all began for my family. Everything we know is a lie.”
“Okay,” she said, and I could tell she was humouring me. “So how does that change things for us?”
I frowned. The details weren’t as clear as before. Everything had gotten a little muddled in my head. “It doesn’t. Not really.”
“So why would anyone lie about it?”
I shook my head. What was I supposed to remember? “I’ve no idea. But it’s important the lies stop.”
“Amelia… you need some rest. Why don’t you go back to sleep?” She made me lie back before draping the covers over me.
Sleep would be good. But why was Perdita in my room in the first place?
“Wait! Why are you here?”
She fidgeted at the blanket. “It’s time. They’re coming. We’re locked in with the dogs. Just in case.”
“It’s now! Oh, no. I wanted to see my family first. In case… well, you know.”
We exchanged glances that said we were both on the exact same page. My family would soon be fighting for their lives outside. Fighting for our lives, too.
“I think it’ll be okay this time,” she said. “They have more on their side, and they know what’s coming. It’ll be over as soon as it starts. In fact, I’m going to watch out the window while you get some rest.”
“Will you tell me if you see anything?”
“Of course.” She hurried to the window.
I called one of the dogs onto the bed. She reminded me of Kali’s Dog, and I wished Andriy had left him at home that day. I wished I knew exactly what I was supposed to do next. “I wish we could know for sure,” I muttered aloud.
I tried to sort through my thoughts and memories. That last dream had been more than real, and I wondered what was supposed to happen. If I told anyone the truth, they would think I was crazy, but I felt as though I had to tell the truth. I had to make sure Kali was remembered, too.
A stabbing pain shot through my body, making my body jerk uncontrollably. A cold sweat dampened my clothes, and I felt sharp echoes of the first pain sting my insides.
“Are you okay?” Perdita looked absolutely terrified.
I shook my head and curled onto my side as another pain clutched my insides. “I can’t take much more of this,” I said. “It hurts. Everything hurts. And I can’t sleep without dreaming of pain and worse things. I feel as though I’m on fire.”
“It’ll be okay,” she said. “We’ll figure something out.”
I groaned. “There’s nothing to figure out. I’m supposed to do something.” I couldn’t tell her I had to end the curse. I didn’t want to give her a chance to reject the idea.
“What do you mean?”
“Someone’s trying to tell me something, I think. Like this is a… a punishment, or a warning, or something. I don’t know. I feel like I’m being haunted or something.”
 “Is it really that bad?”
I nodded, suddenly feeling as though I needed to outrun the pain.
“There has to be something we can do to make it better,” she said. “Doing a reading might help.”
“Tarot cards? You must really pity me.” I laughed in spite of myself.
“I’m still your friend. If that makes you feel better, then I’m cool with it. We’re sitting around here waiting anyway. What do we have to lose?”
“What if we don’t use the cards?” I knew what to do. “What if we use something else instead?”
“Like what?”
“Spirit board?”
Again she made a face filled with horror. I had to persuade her it would be okay.
“We could try to talk to Mémère,” I said in a hurry. “Maybe she can tell us if we’re safe or not.”
She looked desperately uncomfortable. “I don’t know…”
“Come on! What harm could it do? It would make me feel better.” I hoped she would give in, and sure enough, she did. I gathered the candles and some crystals. “For protection,” I told her.
“Protection from what?”
I heard her obvious fear, but I couldn’t stop now. Ignoring how all of my limbs burned, I crawled under the bed to fetch the spirit board. “I found the board hidden in my grandparents’ room.”
“Well, maybe it was hidden for a reason.”
Disregarding Perdita’s hesitation, I placed the board inside the ring of crystals and lit candles all around. A draught blew out the flames. I lit them again, desperately hoping the board would work for us.
“Put your hands on the cup beside mine,” I said. Reluctantly, Perdita’s fingers joined mine, and I felt the jolt of energy. It would work. It had to.
“Mémère? Can you hear me? Please, please, please talk to me. I need you right now. Can you see us?” I couldn’t ask for Kali. I still wasn’t absolutely sure she even existed. But I thought she might, and if she did, she could probably contact me through the board.
The cup moved then jerked to a stop. “That’s not funny.” Perdita did not look impressed.
“It wasn’t me.”
“Crap,” she whispered.
“Mémère? Is that you?”
The cup moved to no.
“Maybe we should stop this,” she said. Cú growled, but I ignored him.
“No. I need this. Who are you?”
The cup moved again, spelling out the word “you.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Perdita asked, sounding as interested as I was.
“Can you help us?”
Yes.
I couldn’t help grinning. It would all work out.
“Are we in danger?” Perdita asked.
Yes.
“From who?” I demanded. More danger?
You.
“Stop saying that!” I screamed as books fell from the shelves and onto the floor with ominous thuds.
Dreams.
“What about them?”
Truth.
“They’re the truth?” Perdita whispered.
Past.
“The dreams are real?” I had to make sure.
Yes.
“What do they mean? Why am I having them?” I needed Perdita to see the answers, so she would finally believe. The cup moved faster, so fast I could barely keep up.
Cursed. Broken. Freedom.
“How? How do I break it?”
Fulfil curse. Take destiny. Free me.
I understood. At least, I thought I did. Everything Kali told me was true, and I was the only one who could finish the story.
“What does that mean?” Perdita sounded worried. I was kind of sorry she had to share the experience with me, but I was doing all of this for her. I would agree to Kali’s demands, because I didn’t want my best friend to die. I could stop the curse. I could redeem myself. I could help everyone.
“I think I know,” was all I told her.
The cup moved rapidly, sliding across the board without slowing.
Seventh daughter of seventh daughter.
The pain shot through me yet again.
Broke the line.
The windows rattled in their frames.
Change.
“I get it,” I said. “It’s like the dream. I have to accept the path. If I say yes, then it’s done? It’s over?”
Yes.
“I’ll do it. I say yes.”
“Amelia, what the hell is going on?”
I ignored Perdita’s panic. The candles all blew out. The windows opened then slammed themselves shut, but I could see nothing except for that essence Kali had talked about. I expected it to be black, and dark, and evil, but it was pure white. It swirled around me, filling me with memories of my family and my ancestors. Of Kali. It consumed me, and I consumed it. I knew nothing would ever be the same again.
I flew along a river full of bones. It blackened and bubbled with thick, dark blood. This was my poisoned heritage. Wasted ancestors. Wasted promise. I could stop it from ever happening again. I could protect my family from the madness that I knew was true. I saw it in my own grandfather’s eyes, after all. Kali was right, and I thought I saw her in the distance, beckoning me.
My body drifted toward her, and the river seemed to clear. There was peace in her eyes, and the madness I saw there earlier had left. I nodded at her, hoping she was finally free.
“It’s time,” she said, and a wrenching pain lifted me off my feet.
I was back in my room, crawling on the floor, Cú growling at me. I heaved, but my mouth seemed to change, to lengthen and misalign. I felt every bone in my body break, felt my lungs constrict, and my heart give out.
Blindly, I gazed for help, trying to speak, but nothing came out save for a growl. Then I understood and panicked. I was wolf, and I wasn’t ready.
Wolf took over, scenting human. Wolf was starving because I hadn’t eaten in so long. Wolf found a target and ran out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out of the house. Cú got in our way, and wolf attacked, flinging the dog to the side. Inside I wept, but I couldn’t take over. I couldn’t find the strength to tame wolf. It was terrifying and exhilarating, and as Cú limped after the rest of the dogs, wolf only felt excitement in the chase.
But dogs weren’t the best targets, and that familiar human scent still stung my nostrils. I could scent my best friend, but even I couldn’t stop wolf from wanting to tear out her throat. I screamed in my head as wolf raced straight for Perdita. Wolf completely ignored the horrified stares of my family.
Perdita dropped to the ground, as did Nathan, and too late, I realised what was happening. I finally did it. I finally ended the curse, and now they were feeling the break. The pain of their loss was destroying them.
Wolf didn’t care.
Wolf raced on four legs, faster than I ever dreamed possible, and leapt to catch our kill. My jaws snapped empty air as our prey was snatched from our grasp at the last second. Snarling, I spun around, almost falling, as wolf decided to try again. I begged wolf to stop, but wolf was in charge.
We charged, but a figure—a werewolf—threw Perdita out of reach and kicked us. His strength was awesome, and he sent us flying backward. Cú tried to protect Perdita again, but his attempt was pathetic compared to wolf’s strength. Wolf would put him out of his misery.
Then, Byron pounced on me, pinning me under him as his strength outmatched my wolf’s. Wolf was only distracted from our prey by the scent of enemy in the distance. Strange werewolves were watching us, and I realised the danger. They knew, or at least had an idea that everything had changed.

Chapter Seventeen

“Calm down!” Jeremy’s hands pinned me down until only grass and muck filled my eye line. They had taken turns trying to control me, but wolf refused to bow for any of them. Byron snarled as he stood over me, but he ran off as soon as my grandfather took over. Heaving, I stopped struggling as my wolf eventually succumbed to the others.
They lifted me, and as they carried me away my line of sight changed. I saw Nathan on the ground next to Cú, and Byron lying next to him. Even my wolf gave a little whimper at the sight of them.
Jeremy and Opa carried me into the shed and threw clothes in after me, locking the door behind them. Wolf and I paced in agitation, and I could sense her taking some of the pain from me, shouldering more than her fair share of the headaches. But she wouldn’t let me go. She wouldn’t allow me to be back in charge. I struggled to think of a way to control wolf. Would I be like this forever?
The door opened, and my grandfather filled the doorway, meat in his hands. The raw steak made my mouth water, and wolf made a snuffling sound, knowing he would give if we obeyed. He laid the food on the ground in slow, careful movements, but he eyed us warily.
“You’ll be fine once she’s fed,” he said before closing the door behind him. We howled, and I could smell him outside still. A growling sound startled me, but I soon realised it was my stomach—our stomach—making the noise. We sniffed the air curiously, and the scent of raw meat caught our attention.
A piece of me felt repulsed when we pulled a chunk of meat into our mouth, but that piece was quashed by the sheer need wolf had to eat. To consume. To heal. We were hurting for lack of food, and as soon as the meat was gone, we felt better. The relief was astounding. For the first time in weeks, the pain in my head subsided. What the hell? Headaches from lack of food? Or lack of raw meat. Wolf didn’t share my shudders of disgust.
Satiated, she relaxed, allowing me back in full control again. I closed my eyes and wished to be human again. Nothing happened. Frustrated, I snarled, and the door opened immediately.
Opa.
I whined at him and pawed the ground, trying to make him understand. I was stuck. I had no idea what I was doing. He cocked his head to the side before approaching, still cautious. He reached out his hand, and I flinched. He made a shushing sound before grabbing a fistful of my hair. No, my fur.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Let go. She’s part of you. Work with her. Worrying will make it harder. Panicking will hold you hostage.”
He sat down, still gripping my fur. It didn’t hurt, but it felt uncomfortable. He was making sure I couldn’t run… or attack. With his other hand, he stroked my head as if to calm me. A memory hit me. After the death of my parents, Nathan and I had been sent to live with my grandparents. For months, I was afraid of the dark. Opa would pet my hair to help me sleep, telling me stories in a low, soothing voice that made it impossible to stay awake until the end of the tale.
“Don’t resist it when the change comes, or it will hurt more. Try to clear your mind. Take deep breaths, and distract yourself by picking something outside of you to focus on. It will be a natural transition soon. I’ll be outside. I’ll wait for you.”
The urge to roll over on my back almost killed me. No way. No freaking way was I acting like a puppy in front of him. He left me then, looking almost proud, and I was alone again. Even wolf had quietened. All I had to do was calm down.
I lay down, my brand new snout between my brand new paws, and closed my eyes. I listened instead, and the entire world opened up. I could hear, really hear, for the first time. My grandfather’s heartbeat outside. Someone coughing nearer the house. Rustling in the undergrowth next to the shed. Being able to hear the smallest sounds was all kinds of awesome. I wanted more.
I howled as loudly as I could, feeling a release of tension with the sound. Wolf grew excited, but I was behind the wheel. No way was I letting her drive again. Opa opened the door, and I pounced, knocking him down and leaping right over him.
I stretched my legs into the fastest sprint I had ever experienced, the wind running through my fur, and that’s when I felt it. Freedom. It was worth the pain. A wolf barked to my right, and I swerved to avoid it, giggling inside as I realised it couldn’t keep up. I bounded in circles, twisting my body to keep out of the way of Opa and now Jeremy, too. I heard Jeremy’s grunt of frustration at my speed and sensed his infuriation at being outdone by me, a newbie wolf. Oh, that felt great.
Eventually, I began to wheeze and slow down. I flopped to the ground and rolled in the grass, feeling everything as though I had grown a billion new nerve endings. The others kept their distance, still trying to figure out if I intended to murder anyone. But I was done. I trotted back to the shed, nudged the door a little to give me some privacy, and lay down, still panting heavily.
I imagined wolf to be a coat and pictured myself unzipping the wildness and shrugging her off. She was still there, but I would choose when to wear her. I closed my eyes and felt my bones twitch. I panicked and everything stopped immediately, but I knew I had to go through with it or the change would get harder and harder to deal with. I didn’t want to be taken unawares ever again.
My body shifted and twisted, the cracking sounds making me flinch more than the actual aching of change. It was over within minutes, and I, in human form, got to my feet, a little unsteady, but okay. I dressed and headed outside, a little smug at how well I had done.
And then the nausea hit. I fell to my knees and retched, my stomach completely emptying itself. Laughter rang in my ears, but I couldn’t look up. With streaming eyes and an aching belly, I felt wretched.
“Serves you right,” Jeremy said. “After all of that showing off you did earlier.”
“You’ll get used to this part,” Opa said reassuringly, but I noticed neither of them came any closer to me.
“I’m dying,” I said, spitting the last of the vile taste out of my mouth.
“You’re not dying. We all go through this.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” I straightened, and the world seemed more vivid than before. “Wow. Is this what it’s always like? Everything looks so different.”
“I remember that,” Jeremy said. “It’s a kick, right?”
My sense of smell wasn’t as good, but it was still better than before everything changed.
“The werewolves are gone.” I remembered the more important event. I had barely missed the battle.
“They ran, but not before they caught a good glimpse of the newest member of the pack,” Opa said a little proudly.
“And Nathan?” I said, leaving the question unasked.
They exchanged glances. Opa ran his hands through his hair, suddenly agitated. “He’ll get over it. Soon enough.”
“Is it… is it bad?”
“He’s hurting.”
“Is Cú okay?” I bit my lip, praying I hadn’t killed him.
“Well, we’ll have to take him to the vet and try to explain how he got mauled by a wolf, but he’ll be fine. How are you feeling?”
I shrugged, gazing at the house. “I don’t know. Different, and yet… the same. I feel as if I was always this way, but my nature was… hidden under the surface.”
Both of them looked confused, and I knew they didn’t understand, but to me, everything made sense. I was born to be wolf. Wolf had always existed; I just hadn’t let her out yet. When Kali had given me her essence, I was so distracted that wolf had taken her chance to break free.
Now we were all free. Nathan, Perdita, and the rest of us. We weren’t cursed anymore. We weren’t destined for pain and loss. But as soon as I saw Nathan’s face, I knew he wouldn’t see it that way. The word pain wasn’t enough to describe everything he was feeling. Byron sat next to him, and they looked almost like father and son.
“We need to figure out what to do next,” Jeremy said.
“Wait!” I exclaimed. Everyone looked at me, and I gulped. “I have to explain… to tell you all what’s been happening. The story about the curse… what we know… it’s all wrong.”
“That makes no sense,” Opa said. “And we don’t have time for this right now.”
“Hear me out. Those dreams I’ve been having. They’re all real. They’ve been about a real gypsy girl.”
“The one who cursed us?” Byron suddenly sounded interested.
“No. The one who mothered us.” I shook my head in frustration at their disbelief. “She was becoming the gypsy version of a witch, but she was born the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. That meant she would be the wolf mother, and that she would breed werewolves to protect her people. No interrupting!” I snapped at Jeremy. “So anyway, she had this big destiny, but her dad was all evil and stuff, and she fell in love and ran away and had a baby—the first one of us—but then her dad found her and cursed us. She cursed his people and made it so that the curse would end when a girl was born, but he killed her. And because of the black magic she used, and because she didn’t get the chance to pass on her power, she was stuck, watching us suffer.”
They stared at me in silence.
“Don’t you get it? We weren’t cursed to be werewolves. That’s in our blood. But they cursed us to be hunted down and to lose loved ones, and…” I gulped. “And to be infected with a kind of madness when we did lose people.” I shifted awkwardly.
“Why now?” Nathan croaked, his eyes on me. “Why did the curse stop now?”
Oh, crap. “Well… she asked me to allow her to pass her essence on to me. She said that would end the curse. So I said yes. And it—”
“Why would you do that to us?” he said, his voice low and cruel. “Why wouldn’t you even let me say goodbye first? Why would you risk hurting Perdita?”
“I didn’t… I didn’t know it was going to happen right then that second. I’m not psychic. And I knew you’d freak out about it. You’ve been acting crazy lately, saying you don’t want it to end. It has to end, or she’ll die. Don’t you understand that?”
“I understand!” he roared. “But you didn’t give me a chance to deal with it. To even tell her what would happen. Now what am I supposed to do?”
“Talk to her,” I said slowly. “The only thing that’s changed is her dying too soon. The curse is over.” Was he being stupid on purpose?
“Why would she want to talk to me? Her dad was attacked. She probably feels as though she’s been stabbed, and my own sister tried to eat her while the rest of us stood around like idiots!” He was shouting, and the veins on his neck popped out disturbingly. Byron held him close and whispered to him while Opa pulled me outside.
“Give him some space while he’s acting this way,” he said. “He’s not thinking straight.”
“You understand, though, right? I had no choice.”
“You had a choice. But you made the right decision,” he said.
“He hates me.” I thought I was fixing everything. I thought my family would love me for it. But instead we were all miserable.
“He hates the curse. He always has. He’s never come to terms with himself. Now he has to face up to the fact that his other side isn’t a curse; it’s a natural part of him.”
“What about Perdita?”
He hesitated, conflicting emotions crossing his face. “It would be safer to keep her away from us. She has no way to defend herself, and more werewolves will come. Of that, I’m certain. This could be her way out of danger.”
“I have to talk to her.”
“Maybe. But today we must figure out our next move. You remember what you did, don’t you? You tried to attack your best friend. We have to help you control your wolf so that kind of thing never happens again. First, you must eat. When the wolf is hungry, we become agitated and angry.”
He made me some food and sat with me while I ate. Jeremy joined us, closely followed by Ryan. The red werewolf seemed smaller somehow, less fierce than the time he had been part of the pack that attacked us. He nodded at me, but his eyes were curious.
“I followed the girl home,” Ryan said. “No signs that any of the other wolves followed. She’s in pain, but you’ll be doing her and Nathan both a favour if you keep her out of the way. You realise that was merely a battle. There is still the war to be won.”
Opa smiled, and again, I saw in his eyes that madness Kali had told me about. The curse hadn’t ended everything.
“I’m counting on the war. We’ve challenged Vin. He has no choice but to respond. And we have yet another werewolf on our side,” he said proudly, gesturing to me.
“You expect me to fight?” I blurted in shock.
“You want us to win?” he replied sharply.
“I don’t… I don’t know how to make her listen to me.” Panic swelled at the idea of letting wolf run loose.
“I could help,” Ryan said, “with controlling the urges.” His face paled, and I wondered what he had gone through when he first turned. “But I think it would be worth exploring teaming up with lone wolves in case the war is bigger than you expect.”
“I’ll go,” Jeremy said immediately. “I could take Willow. She might be useful.”
Ryan glowered at the idea of being separated from his pack mate. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I would join them if it made you more comfortable with the idea. That’s the most pressing issue right now.”
I gaped at my grandfather. “I think me trying to kill people is a pretty pressing issue, Opa.”
“Ryan already offered to assist you with that. The sooner we deal with Vin, the safer we’ll all be.”
I couldn’t argue with him. It was becoming urgent that we get Vin off our backs, once and for all. Maybe with the curse ending, his pack would be less inclined to hate us.
“I’ll go, too,” Nathan said from the doorway.
“Are you… fit enough?” Jeremy asked.
“I’ll deal with it.” The coldness in Nathan’s voice scared me. Did he succumb to the curse after all? Had I brought the madness to my own brother?
“What are you going to tell Perdita?” I asked, regretting it immediately.
“You’ve all already decided you don’t want me near her, so I won’t go there. But don’t expect me to be part of this family when all of this is over.”
He hated me. I knew it. He stormed out of the room, leaving only tension behind him.
“He’s never going to forgive me.” I looked to my grandfather for guidance, but his mind had obviously already moved on to other more “pressing issues.”
Byron made a frustrated sound. “Everything’s raw. Give him a chance to deal with it.”
“It’s settled, then,” Opa said, as if nothing had happened. “I’ll take Jeremy, Nathan, and Willow. Byron, you and Ryan stay here and deal with Amelia while you watch out for any unwelcome visitors.”
“When are you leaving?” I asked.
“A couple of days. We need to hurry.”
“But what if they come back while you’re gone?”
He hesitated. “I’m confident they won’t, but I’m sure you three can handle any surprises.”
He and Jeremy left, leaving me with Byron and Ryan.
“How are you feeling now?” Byron asked me.
“Fine, I suppose.”
“No headaches?”
“Nope. They eased off as soon as I ate, um, meat.”
“So you’re fit enough to explain to me what’s been going on?”
I rolled my eyes. How could I cram everything into a couple of sentences? The stuff with Kali hadn’t been exact, I was pretty sure of that. I had a feeling she sent me images, and my own brain only took some of them to work them around in a way I would understand. But she was gone, so I had nobody to ask. I did my best to explain everything to Byron, actually feeling better by the time I was done.
“What were you thinking, messing around with spirit boards?”
“I just… I mean…”
“And why didn’t you explain all of this to me?”
“Nobody cared!” I shouted. Even I flinched at the sound. “Nobody’s looked at me since I let Mémère die!”
He gripped my shoulders tightly, and I noticed Ryan slip from the room. “You didn’t let anyone die. Never say that again. It wasn’t your fault. We’ve tried to protect you. We wanted to keep you innocent, so you wouldn’t be afraid. But her death was a mistake. Our mistake. Not yours. Do you understand me?”
He was practically shaking me. His eyes were fierce, but every word he spoke was a balm to me and exactly what I needed to hear. The tears fell before I realised I was crying, and relief flooded through me as, for once, I was able to believe what he said. My grandmother’s death wasn’t my fault or my responsibility. I didn’t need to prove myself to anyone.
“I thought everyone hated me,” I admitted through hiccups. He held me then, Byron, actually hugging, and I sank against him, holding him tighter. I imagined he was my dad. I imagined he loved me, and everything felt as though we might improve as a family. I wished I had figured it all out sooner, or that I had figured out a way to make the curse end smoothly.
“Nobody hates you.” Byron’s voice was thick with emotion. “And Nathan will find a way to get past his loss. I’ll help him.”
“But he’s leaving!”
“And he’ll come back. In the heat of the moment, we all say things we shouldn’t. There’s no reason for you to hold that against him.”
“What about me? What if I hurt someone?”
“We’ll stop you. Changing so suddenly was a shock to your system. You were ill, and you weren’t expecting it. You were pushed into the change before you were prepared for it. There’s nothing wrong with that, Amelia. And that’s what we’re here for… to help you.”
“What about the other stuff?” I asked, sniffing loudly.
“What other stuff? The so-called war?” he asked wryly.
“Well, that too. But I’m talking about me. The… thing she passed onto me. She said she was haunted by black magic and was trapped when she used it. What if I somehow used it? Accidentally, I mean.”
“We’ll find out more about it. Maybe her power is latent; maybe all she had to do was release it. Do you feel any different?”
I shook my head. I really didn’t. I remembered how Kali’s power had felt. There was nothing similar to that inside me.
“Then there’s no need to worry about it. We can do some research, and try to find out more about this kind of… witch power.”
I laughed. “That sounds odd, coming from you.”
He looked at me seriously. “Everything is going to be fine. You are. He is. We’re all going to be fine. We’re all going to figure out a way we can live together without ripping each other apart. It’s going take some time. And effort. And compromise.” He winked at me, and I giggled.
“I’m up for that challenge.” I meant it. My family had already hit rock bottom. Now the only way left to go was up. I would find out more about our heritage, and I would make sure we didn’t drift any further apart. And when Nathan came back, I would make sure he planned on doing the right thing.
I hadn’t fixed everything yet, but I wasn’t going to stop trying. We had a war to face, but my family depended on me to make sure we came through the other side, still as a family, just like Mémère would have wanted.

###

Thank you for reading Adversity (Cursed #2.5)—for more information check out Claire Farrell’s blog or email the author. Sign up to be notified of new releases.
The final book in the series, Purity (Cursed #3), is due for release in early 2013.