REDUCE HOME TIME MANAGEMENT STRESS RIGHT NOW
By Earnest Long
Copyright Earnest Long 2012
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition License Notes:
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WHAT IS HOME TIME MANAGEMENT STRESS?
This is when you feel you do not have enough time to get things done in your home life. You may also have problems managing your time because you are bored. Moreover, you might want to pep up your conversation by managing your time better. You could read more or watch more TV. However, cannot get round to it.
You may have goals of learning how to sketch and paint, to learn a musical instrument, or to write a novel. You may wish at some future date to become a famous artist, writer or a pop star. Alternatively, you may just want friends, and to have some interest in life. In addition, give up any ambitions that seem overambitious. However, find there are still problems for you to manage your time.
This book is for everyone like you.
HOW TO READ THIS BOOK
The material in this book is organised into GOAL SETTING, COMPUTERS, SOCIAL and SELF-HELP SKILLS. All these subjects cause poor home time management.
GOAL SETTING is time management on its own. This chapter is the essentials of time management. 
However, when someone uses a computer he/she may have problems coping with managing his/her time. Moreover, this is the subject of the next chapter COMPUTERS. This chapter is limited to COMPUTERS only as much as possible. Although some of the first chapter, GOAL SETTING may be useful for using computers. The chapter gives someone’s experiences of using a computer for home projects. Then the chapter lets the readers decide for themselves if they want to do them. In addition, it discusses problems the home user has using computers such as powerful computer software, filing, and more.
The chapter on SOCIAL SKILLS is included because this often causes time management stress. For the reason someone feels they have to have done something they can talk about. Moreover, it is included because it is so frequently a goal in itself. In addition, good social skills motivate someone to be more active.
The chapter SELF-HELP is included in this book because the reader who has poor home time management may only manage his time poorly because he is generally worried all the time. Worries about poor time management are only part of his worries. In addition, worries generally may cause poor time management. It may be that he is overambitious, and wants fame. However, he is sick and tired from trying too hard. Moreover, he/she cannot concentrate, and keep to plans. Moreover, his/her plans causes him/her worry.
The final chapter is conclusions that connect things together again as here. However, by then the reader will have read the book.
GOAL SETTING 
Goal setting and time management cause stress. Some take many hours every day worrying about how to use their time. They feel they are not achieving their goals because they do not spend enough time on them. Some can worry for years. A big waste of time is worrying about the process of how you plan to improve time use. 
You may not be wasting any time now other than by worrying. However, you may be able to make basic changes that give you more time.
Goal setting asks two questions:-
What do you want? 
How do you get it?
The second of these questions, 'How do you get it?' can be called time management. And the first 'What do you want?' can be called goal setting. However, the two terms are often interchangeable. For goal setting, you decide on what is important to you. Think through what you want that will make you happy. These should be your goals. 
You can reduce stress by doing less time management. Goal setting itself may, for example, only take an hour a few times in your life. You could even do it in your head. You do not need to make To Do Lists, to keep notes of how you spend your time or to endlessly problem-solve. These are stressful. When your goal setting is correct to start with, it is more likely to succeed. The only people who need time management are office workers. They work 9–5 and have plenty of breaks. They are trained how to do time management for their jobs. When you try to use the same techniques at home, you will fail. When you write a plan, do not. Any plan you have to remember. Written plans are often hard to understand also.
Someone the author knew described his experience of time management. He said that for some years, he had tried to improve his personal life. He had poor results with goal setting. 
He says:-
“I only started goal setting, or time management as it is also called, as I had heard about it working in an office. After hearing about goal setting, I wrote personal plans at home. Then I rewrote them because I was not happy with them. 
Some tips from the office:-
‘You do not have to share a personal plan with anyone. Therefore, you do not need to write it down or type it. This saves many hours typing or writing’. 
‘You only need to write anything down you have to remember’.
‘Better, don’t make any plan. You might spend time on it whatever your intentions’.
‘You are unlikely to be able to do any more than a fraction of the things you might like to. Keep to a few things at a time’.
To begin with, I did not remember these tips. And even when I did, I spent too long on goal setting. I do not think it is possible to manage your time in the same way you did in an office. Personal life and office work are different. With office work, your supervisor gives you tasks to do. You do not really manage your own time. Even if you did plan your own work more, then it would probably not be the same. The lesson I learned was that you do not need to plan your time on paper. You have to get up and go to bed at reasonable times; wash, clean, and cook; do exercise; shop, and then read a bit and watch TV a bit. Other than, read a bit and watch TV a bit if you did not do the rest you would die so you must be doing them quite well already. So all you have to do is switch on the TV, and pick up a book. Then you have other things for your health. Not really very difficult.”
It is stressful to try too hard to improve time use by making notes or using a computer. At the start of a project, someone lacks skills to do it. E.g. research skills such as using metrics.
You measure some goals differently to other goals. E.g. doing some exercises each day, watching so many hours of TV each evening, or setting the video recorder. Metrics are part of planning. They tell you when you are keeping to your plan. You can still have some for your personal life. However, they should take very little time and effort to not be stressful. It can however be time consuming to keep records, data enter on a computer and analyse. For your personal life, you should be able to remember the metrics you need without writing. Such as body weight, weight you have lifted or the next book on the shelf you will read. In addition, perhaps a note of a book’s title, author and publisher to remember what you have read. It takes a few minutes only each week. 
Trying to do more overall is often impossible unless you improve your health so you feel less tired. You cannot try to do more generally as you need breaks for your health and to do daily tasks. It can stress you and you can waste a lot of time chasing such a goal for your time management.
For you to succeed all you may need to do is prioritise some activities over others and eliminate some more. Deciding what your goals are is crucial for a number of reasons. Saying something you do anyway is a goal increases your total time on goals! What goals you do will determine what you achieve. When painting is not a goal you will never be an artist! Something can be more worthwhile by being better at it, or doing more in a shorter time. The task is easier and pleasanter and achieves more. One of the most important plans you can make is to improve health. If you did this without making any other plan, you would be a success most likely. This is not just, because you were healthy, but also you will succeed in home time management. One thing you can do to reduce stress is to have a clearer idea of your goals. Then you can address all of your worries and unattained ambitions and do better things. 
They say ‘try, try and try again’. However, here are some more tips that may help you succeed without having to try. Do not think something has to be all or nothing. Often you are a success if you have at least done some of your goal. For example, if you want to read more, then reading some but not pressurising yourself to do more of anything should be enough. You can always read a bit more next week than you did this week.
Turn failure into a goal. For example, when you watch late night chat shows to pass the time when you cannot sleep and feel you are wasting your time doing this. You do not have watching these shows as a goal because you really want to read novels more but don’t. However, you cannot late at night. This is when you are tired. However, think the chat show guests have had interesting lives, and they sometimes invite novelists onto the show. Also, that if you met someone you could more easily talk about the chat show than you could a novel you’d read. Then all those late nights you thought were only passing the time become a goal.
Do not be discouraged when things do not go to plan. For example, you plan to watch DVD's. And perhaps set a goal of watching a DVD every day. You do this because your friends also watch DVD's. And you want to have watched some before you meet them again. However, you feel you have many problems. You write an endless diary, and make notes trying to solve your problems and to give your life some perspective. At times, you feel the need to communicate, at least to a page. This means you have watched few if any DVD's. In addition, you worry how you will look to your friends. They will see what you say as problems they do not want to discuss. Now you regret planning and writing for so long. It took longer than you thought. And you have not even bothered reading it again. It was so long and did not say much. Do not be discouraged. Think you needed the time to think and write or you would not have done it. In addition, so you could relax a bit better, when you met your friends. Therefore, something good came out of it. In addition, you still have your friends to meet again next time when you might have watched some DVD's. If your friends really did tell you they did not want to see you again, then you would realise that you did not come up to their standards. You may want to take time to solve your problems. And make new friends later. Perhaps, it might even work out for the best.
Standing still is achieving something not going backward. You could always get worse. Not getting any worse may be an achievement for you. Moreover, not getting worse is not so hard to do. You can still try to improve next week.
If you are worse already, you can only get better. Try not to think it has to be all or nothing. Rather consider that anything you do is an improvement. If you read one book a week from reading no books a week you would be well on your way to improving your life as you wanted. One reason you may not be able to read more than a little to start with, is you are out of practice. You could strain your eyes if you tried to read too much all at once when you were not used to it. In addition, you may not be able to cope with making too big a change. Therefore, there is hope yet. You only have to do the smallest thing to start with and then you can build on it. Any improvement you do make although not big for others may be massive for you. 
Moreover, you are only competing against yourself. Your goals are your own and make you who you are. Others may not have the same goals as you. For example, if you want to read novels someone else may be quite happy never to read at all. And they may only want to watch TV. Nor can you say they are wrong to do that. Therefore, you can become the kind of person you want to be without worrying that you are competing against everyone to be that kind of person. Others may have no interest in doing the same things as you. Yet they can all get along and talk to each other. Therefore, this is another reason why you do not really have to do much. Everyone must need very little to have something in common. 
Try your hardest to think of how to succeed without having to do so much work. You may be too ambitious. For example, someone may feel to improve their social skills they need to have read widely, and have detailed knowledge of the arts, literature, and current affairs. However, they do not. Even watching TV for one evening might be all you need to hold any conversation with anyone you meet the next day. Do not rubbish anything anyone tells you that they did very little to succeed. In addition, think you know better. They are probably telling the truth. However, if you have different experiences from them you may not know quite what they mean. However, it is a fact that things really can be easier than you think.
You can also try bluffing and see how far this gets you. For example, read a book or two about an artist and then say you like this artist. Some may be disapproving. However, others would be prepared to let you have a go talking about the artist. And they may be quite interested to see how well you talked about art. Always be prepared to admit you are bluffing. Say it was a joke. And that you do not really know about the subject if anyone is uptight about it. Even say you heard you could read one book on it, and then talk about it. And see if they say nothing more back to you. Except they might after some thought give you some advice or open up to you.
The easiest way to succeed sometimes is to eliminate things you find hard and reduce them if you do not eliminate them. An example might best illustrate this. You worry that channel hopping is wasting your time and affecting your concentration. This may be something that it is best to eliminate rather than try to do it less. You can problem-solve it by copying others. E.g., they type in the numbers of the channels. With a little effort to remember these channel numbers you can do the same. If you want to know, what is on then you might find it convenient to buy a TV guide. However, you may be able to reduce channel hopping by some feature of the channel guide, e.g., categories of TV.
Do not be overambitious. Not being overambitious may make you succeed only because your goals are easier. However, it is also less stressful. And to have less stress is a goal. You may achieve more when you are more relaxed. You can then think through your problems better. A paradox is that when you are less ambitious you achieve more. Indeed, you may even achieve your earlier ambitions. This is because you can see they are easier than you thought. Also, you can do something that works. Moreover, you will get there sooner rather than later. They may need less work than you thought to start with. So long, as you do a little towards them and make a start. Being overambitious often leads to doing nothing towards something because all you do is plan. In addition, when the goal is overambitious you end up in a cycle of trying and failing. This is because you have set yourself up to fail. Moreover, you set yourself up to try harder to succeed where you have already failed. ‘Succeed where you can and accept failure where you cannot succeed’ is a maxim. In short, over-ambition is one of the biggest reasons to fail. It makes you not relaxed, spend too much time and effort planning, and worry about ever succeeding. Do not be overambitious by limiting your goals. And getting advice on them may reduce your ambitions. 
In addition, not falling into bad thought processes such as ‘all or nothing’, ‘success is only worthwhile if it’s hard’, ‘someone who says it’s easy is lying to me’, and ‘any change is massively difficult’.
Planning is stressful. And it is a vicious circle planning your life to be happier and planning causing stress. Whether it is keeping to a diet, achieving a long-held ambition, or improving time use, changing your life is stressful. The people who know how to plan are office workers and do it professionally. They are trained for some months at secretarial college how to do basic admin, use a computer and plan. When you know how to plan, it is less stressful. And planning less is less harmful in other ways to your health, e.g. overusing your computer, or too much handwriting. Also, not having time for normal hobbies and interests and not going out. And anything that involves something you do not know how to do is stressful. That includes planning when you don’t know how to plan. Alternatively, you write and don’t know how to yet. Moreover, you are ambitious for your writing. This is two reasons to worry about it. 
Someone who had done office work may give these hints. Don’t keep records you don’t need or are not relevant. Don’t have unnecessary detail in notes. And you balance out the time and effort keeping records against the gains you will make. In addition, you buy published material rather than write them yourself.
Perhaps to try to change anything about your life, try to go back a step. Revise the academic skills and subjects you did at school. This gives you a good general knowledge and some skills you may find useful. Also, this is quicker, and easier than trying to learn new skills and acquire new knowledge. And this is less stressful as it helps you understand new things you read better. Some find this is all they need to do to improve their life and stop worrying. After all worrying is probably why you want to do this to start with.
Next, read as much as you can from published sources. All the advice you can. This might also include advice that does not need you to make any kind of record or note. Making records and notes is hard to do, time consuming and stressful. Therefore, any advice you can take without doing these is worthwhile in saving this time and effort.
Deciding to change anything means critical thinking, planning and writing skills. You could spend years making plans. And never make a decent plan without these skills. That is not to say someone cannot change anything without such skills. They may change just by talking about issues that concern them. And someone can get help by reading a practical book written for his or her particular problems. 
One idea in planning is to decide if anything needs doing to start with. This is a massive saving in time and effort if you decide to do nothing! Other advice is to get knowledge about the activity you want to change. Again, when you understand what you want to change you may think it does not need changing. Alternatively, that you would change it in a different way to the one you first thought of. It may be the best way you can help others and help yourself is only to be healthier and happier and not worry about others. 
To prioritise your time you decide what is most important. Then think how you would achieve that goal sooner, in preference to other goals. 
Try to do things without worrying about them. Particularly don’t worry about things if they are essential or a goal. Most tasks may fit into these categories or you would not do them. So do not worry about anything you do. However, think of it as something you want to do. In addition, when tasks are easy and quick such as tidying a bookcase, you should do as many of these as possible. 
Eliminating a task altogether makes planning easier. Sometimes though reducing but not eliminating it is less stressful. Only you will know which tasks are which. The reason to reduce rather than eliminate it is to avoid all or nothing thinking. Such thinking is stressful. Although to do a task that is stressful, even for a short time, it is still stressful. Also, reducing something means you do not feel bad if you did it a bit. An example is having snacks for a treat when you felt down despite being on a diet. Perhaps you shouldn’t have had them when you were just a little down but you can still have them if you really need a lift or feel a bit ill and that is why you want a snack. However, don’t get stressed about it.
Goals are stressful. However, you may feel you have to have some challenges or you will get bored. Eliminate too stressful goals. There is a virtuous circle of less stress causing better time use and better time use causing less stress. Stress causes poor time management. An important goal is to avoid it. In addition, stress causes ill health and distraction into doing boring, repetitive and low priority activities. Poor time management may only be due to stress. Reduce stress you have in your life and your time management will be better. Alternatively, you may not need to do time management at all. Your only goal you need set yourself, if you have felt stressed, is to reduce stress for the sake of your health.
Tiredness and worries may reduce goals. My research into time management found a very strong positive correlation between ‘things you don’t have to do’ and the start to end of the month. And a very strong negative correlation for ‘goals and things you have to do’ for the same. 
To achieve goals, make them easy to start with. As this solves many problems, you might have otherwise. Achieving goals makes you feel better about yourself because you are not a failure. Moreover, the goals you achieve may help improve your life in other ways. However, not too difficult goals can improve your life. E.g., you are happier when you watch more TV when you like TV. Achieving goals can improve your life in many ways, e.g. you improve your social skills, make more friends, and have more time to read. To avoid goal setting anxiety and still get benefits from using your time any goal should be easy to achieve. This means that you can do them easily and still have time to spare. E.g. when you are going to be in most of the day don’t try to do that much when you have so much time to read etc. as this may be too much. Any goal you can do today or tomorrow. Don’t think of how many books you could finish in a week or how many films you could watch in a month, for example. Watching some TV every day should be more than enough to keep to your plan. Don’t do nothing but keep it going.
Have flexible goals, e.g. when you are going to be out have different goals for that day. Alternatively, you may have none of your normal goals some days. You may still have goals, however, of for example, getting up on time and going to bed when you get back.
Eliminate some time wastes and reduce others. In addition, think of alternatives. When you do something that is not a goal then don’t do it. Alternatively, reduce it if you can’t eliminate it. E.g., you may decide to not channel hop at all and always plan viewing. Also, you may decide not to read something that none of your friends are interested in. And you may decide that instead of writing a diary you can think through your day when walking.
Reduce overambitious goals. These are often time-consuming. Sometimes something may be important to you but you can see it gets in the way of other also important ambitions. These other ambitions would be easier to achieve and less stressful. When this is true, try your utmost to give up the overambitious goal. E.g., you may read about something because you feel it is important for the modern world and you should know about it. However, none of your friends is interested. The time you spend on it means you can’t talk, for example, about the latest novel because you haven’t read it. Alternatively, you haven’t watched TV shows they have. In addition, if you do talk about it, you bore your friends or they don’t understand what you’re saying. And they may not want to see you again. Your more important goal is to make friends as these friendships give you so much pleasure. However, you still do this other thing despite it. Take the plunge and stop doing it.
Stress is bad for health and often wastes time. Eliminate it where you can or reduce it. E.g. making notes is stressful. This is because you know that writing might be bad for health and writing is slow. Think of a better alternative such as buying published notes. Then the notes you do keep will be essential and to hand. Moreover, you’ll probably organise them better as there are fewer of them. Also, you’ll have more time to read them.
All together. Set easy to achieve goals for things you really want to do and then do them, today or tomorrow. Looking after your health is a priority. Moreover, do not worry if the odd day you are busy and cannot do goals.
Long-term goals cause stress but you can reduce this stress. Try to think what you can do today or tomorrow. Define goals more accurately as short, medium or long term, when any of them are longer than a day or two. This tells you more about them and reduces stress. You can also redefine your goals and make long-term goals short-term goals. This is less stressful. A long-term goal such as becoming an artist is a short-term goal of booking yourself on an art course and then attending. Change some goals completely to make them short-term. E.g., instead of writing a novel you can write short stories or shorter writing such as reviews and articles. Instead of becoming an all-round artist, learn to draw one particular subject or style of painting. This also has the advantage of giving you experience and skills and is less stressful, and you can try a more ambitious project in the future. Another example is losing weight. This might be a medium to long-term goal. However, not snacking and doing exercise is a short-term plan. As is sleeping better by going to bed early also a short-term plan. When you have a long-term ambitions to make friends have some easy to achieve stages. They may be enough on their own to make a start. E.g., Wash, buy new clothes, keep fit, buy aftershave, and read the latest novel. And don’t try to have perfect conversation, which is a long-term goal. Have a weekly timetable or even a daily plan only. This may include almost all your ambitions, however long-term they are in other ways.
To reduce stress from long-term goals make them short-term goals, part of a daily plan or weekly timetable. Any other long-term goals divide into easy stages. When goals really are long-term, consider shorter-term alternatives. You can be more ambitious later when you don’t feel it will stress you as much. Work towards long-term goals by taking the shortest stages first. These may help you considerably if not completely achieving your goal. Reduce worries by not making long-term plans and reducing the stress of long-term plans you do make.
Have a weekly timetable or even a daily plan only. This may include almost all your ambitions, however long-term they are in other ways. To reduce stress from long-term goals make them short-term goals. Also, make them part of a daily or weekly timetable. Any other long-term goals divide into easy stages. You can be more ambitious later when you do not feel it will stress you as much. 
Make it easy by following the advice you already have. Trying to problem-solve is a strain. Often this is working towards a particular goal that causes most stress. However, for some goals that you still want, think whether you are following the advice you already know. When you do not you may be wasting unnecessary effort. In addition, you are less likely to achieve your goals. For example, some things on a plan may be easy to follow. However, you think there are other factors you have heard of that you spend all your time worrying about. Even when you think there are other factors, you may still achieve your goal with what you know already. Hard things may be because you have not had the right advice about them. In addition, until you get the right advice you worry about them. Therefore, you do not do any of it when you could do some of it. Alternatively, you do not know how to do any of it. Moreover, you can only start when you do. So don’t worry ‘till then. To achieve your goals follow easy-to-keep-to advice to the full. This goes at least part the way to achieving your goals and so can reduce worry over succeeding. Moreover, for things you find hard you can wait until you have had the advice you need. On the other hand, try not to worry about them by either not attempting to do them yet or getting them roughly right. This is unless you really need accurate advice, or you will worry. Do the easy stuff first, and keep to it. And do not worry you are not doing the harder stuff. Doing anything towards your goal you might succeed in it. On the other hand, achieve some of it. And you can get advice on the hard stuff later.
You may want something but fall at the first hurdle getting it.  And never whatever hurdle you fall at pass the finishing post. Some succeed because they are motivated. It could be something silly they tell themselves but which works. However, silly it may sound if they told others.
For example:-
Think that beauty alone will get you by and that all you need is your beauty sleep
Think you are better than others around you who worry because your mum told you that you were better
Childish to worry
Think you have no responsibilities now
Think you will be admired for your muscle and well-toned body
Think that the logical ultimate goal you have is to be Prime Minister but because you may not be elected at a general election even if you became Leader of the Opposition you can’t be bothered
Go against your cynical view of the world and wholeheartedly support a politician or party
Think ‘I’m useless, I realise that, I will never be anyone’ if that makes your life easier
Think you really are a nice person and everyone you meet sees that as long as you don’t talk about some things or look worried.  Then they’ll get a bad first impression of you.
Have something as if you enjoy your breaks, like shopping for new clothes, or have an evening to yourself in front of the TV when you don’t answer the phone. Because you’re such a weak person, you need these things now and again. However, you can be strong the rest of the time.
Think of something that works for you. However, don’t tell anyone, as they will try to persuade you you’re being silly or illogical. Then if it works, keep to it. I’ve given some examples here. But if you can think of your own then use those. Alternatively, you can use mine.
Think of your problems you would like to solve and the ones you have solved. Chances are the ones that you solved were from getting the advice you needed, meeting different people, and having more opportunities.
One way to think of time management is skills and learning. Moreover, you can get help getting skills and learning. Moreover, some things may be impossible to do on your own. Skills for problem solving are academic skills like those you would learn at school or college. This is why problem solving for some may be so hard and unproductive. They do not have such skills from their own education. Moreover, trying to solve problems without these skills takes time and effort, and may fail. You may have these skills already or you can revise them. Then problem solving may be a lot easier. And you are more likely to succeed. 
A way round not having these skills is to have easy, plain advice that you can understand and follow. However, this may be difficult. Many books are quite technical and hard to read. They would help you if only you could understand them. Even when you have reasonable reading skills, you may not find the answers you are looking for. You could read books you think might help you for years without getting all the help you need. Problem solving may work for some who have the education to solve problems like this. Although others, who try may have some success but find it hard. 
Some things outside of your control or that could not have happened any earlier can change your life for the better also. 
Poor concentration, due to tiredness or illness causes many problems. Moreover, poor concentration using a computer can cause problems, e.g. remembering to do exercise. You may only need to stop using a computer and get fit to achieve your goals. 
There are things you can do if problem solving is causing you stress. Problem solving can and does cause stress. It is not worth solving any problem like home time management if it causes you bad health.
Someone’s experience after many years worrying about time management may help the reader.
He says:-
“For many years I problem solved. The stress and worry was immense. Sometimes I would not sleep at night. I stayed up trying to solve problems on my notepad or on my computer. Sometimes I did nothing but make notes and write all week. In addition, I neglected my friends and social skills. 
By and by, I realised that whenever you solved old problems you always got new problems. This was true no matter how many old problems you solved. Solving some of the old problems gave rise to a new way of doing things. This new way of doing things gave rise to its own problems. Therefore, I had new problems again to solve. It was never ending. I was reading a book on science and technology. It told me how many problems scientists had been working on, sometimes for decades. Sometimes technology improved only bit by bit over centuries of innovation although sometimes quicker. I also got some history books at about the same time. They told me that many people in the past had had problems they lived with and coped with. In addition, that some of these social problems, for example, were solved but only after the same problems had been around for a long time, sometimes longer than a lifetime.
It is early days yet. Nevertheless, reading these books has perhaps helped me worry less about my own problems. And given me motivation and helped to solve real problems by proper application when I was not so worried.”
In summary, read history and science books about previous generations of scientists and other people who have had problems they tried to solve. And common people who had to live with their problems. This should help you with your own problems. This is if only because you reduce the worry of not having solved them quickly and easily.
To solve problems make a start. Solving problems can take time. Do not expect to solve them all at once. It can also be stressful to have many problems. In addition, expecting instant results you do not get leads to disillusion and more stress. Instead, work through problems one by one until you reach the tipping point where you begin to achieve some of your goals. There is no scientific way of knowing which problems to start with. Pick ones that are either quite big ones first, ones that you have a chance of solving with what you know and can do now, and perhaps small problems that can be solved quickly and easily. You may not know which ones are important. You will have to do this to some extent by trial and error.
Get either a notebook or pen or use a computer word processor. The advantage of a computer is that you can edit it but the advantage of a pad is it is easier to draw on. And you may need to keep your notes only a few days after you have done them. Use abbreviations, symbols, and diagrams. Also, you want to keep your train of thought. You can do this by going back to see your workings out. If you write or type in full then tiredness may reduce the number of ideas you can come up with. 
You may spend many hours per day writing and problem solving. This is a problem in itself. This is because overusing a computer or handwriting too much can cause bad health. Moreover, you do not do other goals because you do not have the time. On the other hand, are tired and have poor concentration from using a computer or handwriting. When you start in the evening, you are tired and worry more. You think about all your worries but are too tired to think well. When you think in the morning, you are relaxed, refreshed, and better able to solve problems. However, you may not see anything to worry about. Try to work through one problem a day. And leave other problems to the next day. This is sufficient to work through all your problems quite fast. 
Solutions do not come so readily in the morning when you are not tired. You have to go back to first principles of planning. 
Such as:-
What resources do I have that may help?
Whom can I ask about this and how soon can I see them?
Do I need to buy anything or save up for anything?
What do I do all right already and could I do more of it? 
What do I already know and where can I find out more information?
You should solve problems better when you are not tired. However, when not tired you may need to use problem-solving techniques to generate ideas.
In summary of what we’ve just discussed. Solve one problem every day. And don’t try too hard to solve all your problems at once. Remember you may not know which problems will have greatest effect overall. Nevertheless, try working on some, any of them and by trial and error you may succeed. You may be able to solve problems better in the morning. Use abbreviations, symbols, lines and diagrams to keep your train of thought. And to not be so tired by writing out all your notes in full so you run out of ideas. When you follow this advice to problem-solve you may succeed beyond your expectations.
Not using your computer may improve your time use. Computers are also stressful. To try to manage your time, you may use a computer. However, the author thinks that about the only uses for a computer at home are to surf the Web and Email. My advice is to stop using a computer or reduce using it. Using it a lot is bad for your health and it wastes time, costs money, and takes up space you could use for something else. The computer offers a way of working on your problems yourself when you should buy a published book or ask for advice. 
You may only use a computer because you have personal problems. E.g., you write for therapy. You make notes and as well lists, because you are distracted, and cannot start reading a book. Instead of writing a diary or problem solving try writing a story, poem or creating a work of art. That is better therapy often.
Some say there is a writing bug that means you have to write. Feed the bug by creative writing or art and not problem solving. That is better for you and society.
Writing may only be due to stress. They say ‘success builds on successes’ and ‘nothing succeeds like successes'. Doing more of your goals makes you feel better. 
Many ordinary people can give you the advice you need. This is because everyone wants the same thing. They want a partner, friends, a job, wealth, to live well, to be entertained, and do hobbies and interests. Anyone can give you advice on these things. Everyone lives somewhere, has a house or a flat to look after, and live their lives in. Most have done jobs, have done training, and have held down a job. Everyone has to manage their time, do things such as read books or they would be bores. Moreover, they all have had the experience of trying to make friends. You do not need to read newspapers every day for years trying to find out what lies behind the news. Everyone lives in society, votes, and knows. Whilst planning skills may be useful in some circumstances, many independently make the same plan. You can get advice on these plans. You do not have to work it out for yourself. Therefore, you do not need to plan at all. For your personal life, you can get advice for your goals and remember this advice. It may not be necessary to write it down. Nobody needs to plan for their personal life as though they were working in an office with computers, spreadsheets, databases, meetings, phone calls, Emails, and Task Lists.
It will be hard to see how you spent so long on planning and time management once you have it right. Advice breaks the vicious circle of worry and problem solving. Also, it reduces or eliminates the need for planning because you merely have to remember and follow advice. Do not try to plan. You can take advice for anything you do not know. Advice others know and can give you. Asking for help with goals saves much time making mistakes and problem solving. A few words of advice can solve problems that take a lifetime to learn from the media. You may find you talk endlessly about your problems but nobody gives you the advice you need. You may feel bad, humiliated and silly when after years you find from much reading and watching TV what someone could have told you in less than an hour or even a few minutes. Perhaps you need not to ask direct questions. Say ‘can I ask for advice’ first, so they are prepared for your question. As many have the same goals, and need the same advice there is no reason not to ask for advice or look it up. You do not need to write or problem-solve. Take advice. 
Someone’s experience of problem solving using paper and pen was that he repeated many well-known facts and issues. It offered no new solutions and wasted time. His diaries were also repetitive and mundane. Perhaps because it was a negative experience he did not want to read his diaries or notes again. This was despite thinking that it would really help him fix some of these issues. To start with, he felt he was coming to the problem anew. However, he then realised he had known the solutions sometimes for quite some time. After that, he thought that these solutions were in his head but he had forgotten them. And what he wanted to do was remember them. And reconsider them again another time with the help of his notes. There was some truth in the latter proposition but he filed poorly. And this caused problems when he repeated much of what he said. Also, he wrote it out again in different ways to understand the ideas better. And he did not find a format that satisfied him to write it once. In addition, he did not see the correct way to file it either. When someone wrote fiction, he was surprised when rereading it many years later how poor it was. This was despite his thinking when he wrote it that he had written well, it was full of ideas, humour, and scintillating dialogue. He had also written it for therapy. And he wanted to communicate with others the thoughts in his head. He wanted others to understand him. And accept his ideas as art. However, it was not really, what he thought he had written. Most of his writing was rubbish, no better than a diary. In future, it might be better rather than writing, to have a nice hot long relaxing bath. And not have all writing’s problems with physical health and stress. A bath is also relaxing from the hot water, silence, a moment to relax, and getting clean. This is better than stupefying over a desk. Better than his having worries about finding fame as an author. And the distant prospect of ever finishing a novel.
Sometimes we hear so much about how to succeed in self-help books that we don’t think someone who doesn’t read them has any ambitions. This is wrong. They do. Otherwise, they would not be motivated to get out of bed, to read, or do anything. When someone says, they are thinking about doing a course sometimes that may not sound much but it is. They are saying they want to study, to have a career, to be a success. It may be they don’t see how they will be a success without doing a course. You could learn from this. It might be quite true for many. If you have other personal ambitions such as making more friends, taking more of an interest in something, then all you need to do is get up, read a bit about it, watch TV about it, and talk about it to anyone’s who’s interested or see if you can do a course in it. All you have to do to achieve a goal and be a success is do something towards it. The more you do the faster you will succeed. All you really have to do not to achieve a goal conversely is do absolutely nothing towards it. Really, to succeed then in your personal life you have to be motivated to get out of bed and then not sit around doing nothing or channel hopping. Not really hard for anyone. As you would think most anyone, probably does something with their day already such as read a bit occasionally or watch TV other than channel hopping. And to get a job probably you need the qualifications and experience employers are looking for. Don’t confuse the two. You can’t get a job by making friends, or thinking about big issues or personal issues. You can start with a qualification. Otherwise, when you read a bit and watched TV a bit you may have been doing enough for personal goals already. However, for a job you need a qualification.
In summary of some of the things, we’ve just discussed. Do the easy stuff first, keep to it and don’t worry you’re not doing the harder stuff. Doing anything towards your goal you might succeed in it, or achieve some of it. And get advice on the hard stuff later. Another piece of advice is to look after your physical health. Looking after your physical health may also improve your time use on its own. Also, prioritise activities that reduce worries. Physical health and avoiding stressors should be your first priorities. You are distracted from priorities when stressed. For example, you may do a task late into the night when you should be getting sleep instead. Some saying or maxim such as ‘leave it to another day’ might help. Otherwise, eliminate the task. When you have fewer worries and illness, priorities can work quite well.
Some things may really be stressful. However, they are things some would not think anyone would worry about but they do. A reading list solves this problem. Reading will give you the answers you need so you do not worry. Your priority in any reading list is to reduce stress. Also, you may think making notes to yourself would be the difference between success and failure. However, you may be reproducing something you can buy from a published source. 
Keep a check-list for a short time. For example, write a check-list for cleaning to remind you to keep your house cleaner. And you can stick a timetable on the wall to eliminate making notes. Also, your plan might include making basic changes that you do not need to do again. For example, once you have made basic changes to your room, you do not need such an effort to keep it tidy all the time.
Doing a time management project on your computer is stressful. Time management projects where you record what you did and analyse it are stressful. Stress kills. Stress wastes time. They are stressful because you set yourself up to fail. Problem solving is stressful. Instead of problem solving, ask for advice. Also, reduce worrying by better health, and feeling less tired. And reduce stress doing more with your day so you are happy you have had a full day. And don’t do or reduce activities that cause you stress.
However, a short time management project can work quite well. It will only work if it is kept short. Doing a time management project for a week where you record how you spent your time can be useful. You record what you did and calculate the time you spent on activities using a computer. A time management project encourages you to think about how you spend your time. By answering at least one unknown – how many hours you spend on activities. However, this is only one fact you might get and one of the most time-consuming. You may want to see how you spend your time in hours. 
Moreover, you may make some significant changes using this data quite quickly. After that, you may not be able to make big gains however long you keep recording data. Time management projects waste time and are stressful if you do them for longer than a week or two. They also mean you overuse your computer at home, which is bad for health. For example, one Subject analysed his first week’s data and saw he spent most of his time chatting in front of the TV. He could not concentrate on both at the same time. When he only did one or the other he still had time left over.
You may do things for psychological reasons only, when they are not goals. Someone wrote about their experience of doing things only for psychological reasons when they are not goals.
He related:-
“Tasks were for therapy such as writing a diary. On the other hand, tasks were an ambition like writing a novel. Each week when he analysed his figures, he could see how little he had read, how little TV he had watched, and this stressed him. A goal was to improve his conversation. And it did improve when he read novels and art books rather than non-fiction, and newspapers. And he made more friends then. He could not read novels and art books rather than other books when he felt like learning about facts though. When he had finished writing a novel, he could stop writing fiction. Only then, once he had done it. He had been writing for several years.” 
Although some books say, it is always best to write everything down; this author had found that anything you can do to avoid that is beneficial. However, it may be different for different people at different times. And writing is only reasonable if you can keep it short. For example, by filing correctly and using a computer properly. It is often better to organise your thoughts in your head than writing. It is quicker than writing as writing is slow. Moreover, it is more natural. Writing is stressful and causes health problems. Sometimes you may remember what you thought better. Particularly you forget what you wrote when you have problems filing and organising your notes. Writing it down you may instantly forget it, as you do not have to remember it. Many problems and worries are best left unsaid unless someone can give you a solution. Think in your head a definitive essay you can remember every time you have a similar worry. To help you, think back to when you first heard of the subject. You may have been given the best answer then. And they said it to help you cope.
Revise how to write essays if you have forgotten. Organise your work into topics and explain each one. This helps you remember your essay. Think of headings also for your essay. You can do this similarly in your head to keep track of what to think. You may not really have that many worries/material as you think. And knowing this reduces stress. You may have to organise material from a number of sources. This can be harder. You may be stressed because you think others do not know about these ideas. However, others have heard of these ideas. You can worry if you think only you know some idea. You do not only know. This exercise helps you when you already have solutions but talk too much or write too much to organise your thoughts. 
Not talking about your worries, or writing them down saves time. Thinking through things in your head is sometimes better than writing for personal problems. 
It may be important to write some things down, however, so you do not forget them. An appointments diary is all you need. It is important to remember appointments. In addition, once you have been to an appointment you no longer need to remember it. Therefore, there is no reason to memorise it. It is a waste of effort. Appointments diaries can replace Task Lists and To Do Lists. An appointments diary reminds you when you need to go somewhere or to do something by. This is the best way to organise tasks. Better than a long Task List. When someone tells you something, such as a new friend about interests you have in common then write it next to their first appointment to remember it. The same if you need to remember something to bring to an appointment, e.g., a magazine you mentioned they asked to read. You can also use an appointments diary for your daily To Do List. However, with appointments out of the way the To Do List will be a lot shorter and more manageable. When you look through your appointments diary look a week or so in advance as some things you should do earlier, e.g. going to the bank to get money for a present. Moreover, you can see how busy your week is. When not so busy you may have time to do something different and need to plan this. Keeping an appointments diary saves time, paper and ink.
You may still make some plans, e.g. for health if nothing else. For any plan you do have, keep planning short and simple. When reworking a plan you may only make the smallest improvement if any. In addition, any paper exercise you do may only make you feel you know your plan better. Alternatively, feel better because you think you are succeeding. Not wasting your time planning you would do other activities. However, if the end is worth it then taking time planning is important. However, taking too long planning shows poor planning. In addition, looking after your health may be the only plan you need. Then you will keep more active. Time management skills may be useful. The body clock, or daily cycles in the human body, is important for someone wanting to manage their time. However, the author thinks this may work in some ways to improve time use, only because you feel you have a better plan. Planning causes worries, takes time, affects health from using a computer, and may not give any benefits. Moreover, you may not need to plan to do any personal goals. 
To do more goals such as reading novels you always wanted to read there is a very simple plan you can make. To do more goals all you have to do is not do things that are not goals. The researcher found a perfect negative correlation between ‘goals and things you have to do’ and ‘things you don’t have to do’. 
You have more time than you think. When you think you do not have enough time for things you would really like to do such as watching films, try this exercise. Think how much spare time you have in hours. Then change the period e.g. to days, weeks, months, and years, from the usual one you think of. This will help you think about your time use better. It is easy to work out with a calculator or spreadsheet. For example, even if you only watched one or two films a week this would be many, many films over a year. You can see for sake of argument, for example, how many films you could watch if you spent all your spare time watching films. Find the average length of a film and divide it into all the spare time you have. It might be thousands of films in a year. More than in the biggest film guide book you could find. Although you would probably want to do something other than watch films, it is something to think about because it shows you have more time to watch films than you think. It is the same for other things as films. For example, reading an hour a day if you kept to it you would read many books over a year. Perhaps, more than you read now though you think you read a lot but do not. You could get a good general knowledge from watching dozens of TV documentaries in a few months, perhaps. You may need to record TV to do this though. You will probably do a combination of everything but this book has shown you may have more time to spend on goals than you think. Perhaps, you can prioritise better. Do a goal rather than wasting your time. So stick on a film on to watch rather than do something else. It could make all the difference at the end of the year.
If there is one thing you can do for yourself, it is to keep it going. Something that is bound to make you fail is to lose heart when you have problems. One way not to lose heart is to keep things going despite any failures along the way. This becomes a habit so you do it and it reassures you. For example, take a bath when things are bad. You are keeping clean and relaxing from the hot water. Another example is to pick up a novel when you have reason to feel bad despite appearances something needs doing. It really may not do. Another reason to keep things going is that the human body does not function well doing a lot and then a little. And you keep in better health and learn better when you do something every day. The body responds to regular exercise. This is the same whether physical or doing mental activities. You could not run for miles one day, do nothing the rest of the week, and expect to keep fit. This is the same for the mind whether watching TV, reading, or doing any other activity that is really learning. You need to keep it up, and do a little every day for it to do any good. ‘Doing a little every day’, ‘keeping it up’, ‘not letting things get on top of you’ are different ways of expressing the same idea. Moreover, it works. This is because habit is reassuring. And you may be doing something useful to solve your problems despite not sitting down with a pen and paper and planning. Then you are leading a more normal life. Also, it is better mental or physical exercise to do a little every day and not all at once. 
Also, you can take practical steps to save time. Doing more of something takes more time. Moreover, when the task does not give you benefits it may not be worth doing. Don’t do it for so long or at all. To reduce time wasting, do something well if it is worth doing at all. And doing something well, you often reduce how long it takes to do the same thing. Thinking about how you do tasks reduces wasted time on them. The easiest way to save time is to do things you already know how to do. Make a big effort to learn things before you do too much of them. Have a good night’s sleep and don’t worry too much.
The author did research that showed that when a Subject wrote about admin in his diary he did less admin. The same was true for other things. It seems thinking about his admin he did not do it so badly. Doing it badly wasted time. Also, he did it the right amount of time for the benefits it would give him against time doing other things.
Writing can take time but savings are possible. Writing a short novel a Subject took years. However, later when he had learned better writing skills he completed another short novel in a few days. When someone the author knew who was a writer felt his writing offered his readers nothing more than he had said already then he rested from writing. This gave him more time. Doing this or not doing this came from thinking about his writing and assessing its quality and originality. And other things writers might consider. 
Getting advice on how to use the software of their computer, respondents did not want a computer any more, to work using a computer or wanted to learn more about computers. This saved them time and they felt more relaxed about computers, something that had worried some of them before.
Having a good night’s sleep and being relaxed and rested is essential to taking time to think about the task. Moreover, to do it well, not for longer than needed, and not do it if it does not need doing at all.
Some sayings:-
‘Do things well if they’re worth doing at all’
‘Less haste, more speed’
‘Quality, not quantity’
‘Do things you find easy when other things are only hard and offer no more benefits’
‘The best plan is to keep to what you know’
‘You do what you know best’
‘Keep it simple’
‘Have a good night’s sleep before you decide anything’
‘You should do something you enjoy and makes you look good’
‘To not waste time, think about whether tasks are worth doing at all, worth doing if you spend less time on them or worth doing if you do it well’
When trying to manage their time well some are also trying to change their interests. Trying to manage your time better can be stressful and last for years without reaching an acceptable conclusion. This is because you make major changes to your life and any change is stressful. In addition, you may not have as much control over changes as you think. Therefore, you set yourself up to fail and try again and fail and so on in a vicious circle. You have to reduce time on an interest you did have if you have a new interest. You do not have time for both. However, some only when they see no benefits to something can they stop doing it completely. Trying to do too much or feeling you have to abandon an interest to make time for an untried interest means you worry about your time use. And it is when you don’t have enough time for everything then you problem solve fruitlessly. You have to make some cutbacks.
You may be interested in something only because you are worried about it. And what you really need to do is become more relaxed generally so you no longer worry about it. It is poor social skills to talk about worries. Similarly, when you read about something, e.g., business, computers, or some other academic subject, because you thought it would lead to a job then you can stop reading once you are no longer in the job market for that job. E.g., you are too old for office work, in ill health and cannot do a particular job. 
Some may only be able to prioritise when they stop worrying about some things. You may reject some interests because you can see they worry you. Even if others like them and they do not make everyone stressed. It is because you are prone to stress that you have a problem with a particular subject. And the subject is probably one you care about. Therefore, you worry about it. E.g., someone may read about something only because they were worried about it. Alternatively, seeing a subject is no longer useful to them now e.g., such as something they thought would impress an employer when they are now looking for different work. Then they can have more time for other tasks, and so manage their time better doing things that are useful and mean they are more relaxed.
To manage time, some 'dos' and 'don'ts' may help. To manage your time try doing anything that gives you pleasure and you are relaxed about. Moreover, do not do anything that is boring, stressful or wastes time. Examples of boring things are things that if you talked to your best friend or anyone about, they would find boring even with the best will in the world. Stressful things are things, which when you do them, you feel stressed, upset, angry or exited. You know how stress feels. When you feel stressed stop, do something else or take a break. Wasting time things are doodling, rewriting the same notes repeatedly, playing the same song repeatedly, listening to music all day every day, or watching TV that is already half way through. By not doing boring, stressful things or time wastes you save time you can transfer to other more pleasurable activities. 
And by seeing health as genuinely urgent to your mind, you can make it a priority. Do this before it really is ‘urgent’ because then it is often too late. To make something a priority means you spend time and money on it instead of other things. In addition, you have to do things that have some downside to them, as you want something else more. It has to be thought of as more or less important with some feeling or you will just do anything you feel like. For example, prioritise health as poor health in the future means you can’t do some things you want, e.g. you can't stay in and read a book every evening rather than going out for a walk. This is how prioritising and getting things done works, an upside and downside. And prioritising health can make you healthier.
Do goals, improve social skills, so you can be happy. Choose goals you like and enjoy. Do not do things you cannot talk to your friends about. E.g., because they do not give you much to say or others do not want to hear about them. This is a guide to how genuinely interesting they are, stimulating or socially apt they are when others want to talk about them. Moreover, it will improve your social skills. However, this may only be needed when you already have poor social skills. This is because spending more time on goals that improve social skills, such as all your time if that is what is needed, may really improve your social skills. In addition, you may need some time to yourself, a private life and to do things that only help you. Do not do tasks that are boring, repetitive or unproductive. Such as writing and rewriting plans in different ways. If you do this, you might want to learn how to use editing and other features of a word processor or learn how to file or plan better. This may reduce time wasting considerably.
It may be important to find time to do more spare time activities generally. For doing more activities switch on the TV even though you are a little tired. Alternatively, read in a spare moment. Make an effort to do things and keep it going. Think when you do something that it is helpful to your overall goals. Goals you may have such as health and social skills, and enjoyment.
Do not look at your watch to see how long you have spent doing something. Only look at your watch to keep appointments. Looking at your watch is stressful. Think how many books you read last week. And the ones you did read out of interest. This is a less stressful than counting hours or pages. In addition, you can see you have not wasted time. 
To see if you are doing goals keep a ‘Books Read’ or ‘Films’ and ‘TV Seen’ notebook to see if making more effort, for example, to start things has succeeded. Nevertheless, do not do any analysis. Look to see if you have done more such as if, you have read more books and watched more TV and do not analyse it too much. And these notebooks help to recall it, e.g. something you saw on TV may have completely slipped your mind but seeing the title, you could talk about it for hours.
Choose goals you like, enjoy, and do not do things you do not really enjoy and do not get benefits from. Things you don’t get benefits from may be old interests. And you may no longer be interested in them for different reasons. Such as not needing it for work, or not having friends who share your interest any more or having read all about it. Alternatively, that you know the subject and have done all the things to do with it that it gave you to do. 
If something makes you feel better, then do it, e.g. to have read before dinner. Another example is if it makes you feel better to read more because you find it more rewarding doing so than something else you could do. The other task may not be something you have to do. Alternatively, you could reduce how long you spent on it without creating any problems having not done so much of it. E.g., you may want to write to be a writer but you could still finish your book if you spent an hour to two less on it a day and watched TV instead when you like watching TV so much. And think how much good there is on that you would be missing. Remember your goals in other words and start doing them by making even a little more time for them. And you may be able to make a lot of time for them with a little imagination such as ‘this really doesn’t need doing’. However, do not overdo it. Taking breaks can also be one of your priorities. Do not consider there is a maximum to reach you can calculate unless this helps you. Just try to keep it going a bit. However, keep it relaxed. 
And do not use figures you generate when you can’t cope with them. Perhaps this is because you were bad at maths at school. And that would explain why you find figures you produce now stressful.
By not doing activities that are boring, stressful and you can’t talk about, you should have more time on better goals. You can make this improvement without trying too hard except to try not to do these negative activities. Moreover, doing better goals should increase by not doing the negative goals. On the other hand, you can only do more goals like reading by reducing time on other things. All of this time you spend on other things is directly transferable. Not just some of it is transferable, but all of it. At least theoretically from time use charts.
Your social skills should improve over time from having done more and better tasks, and you should feel happier. It takes some time to improve social skills. This is because of the amount of time it takes to read a few books and digest them, start learning again, and practice your social skills. Also, it takes time to get into the habit of feeling happier and not doing negative things. Change is slow. You cannot do it in a day. However, perhaps you will notice the difference in a month or perhaps a few months. However, at the end of a month or few you should have done more, feel happier and have better conversations. 
Scanning or looking for bad things is stressful. So think about your reading lists. Decide whether they benefit you. You may have reading lists on subjects you may be worried about. Scanning means seeing things others do not because you worry. E.g., you worry about something you watch on TV that others can watch without feeling bad, for example. However, you try to reduce the worry you have about these subjects by a reading list. You want to get answers to questions you may have. To balance these both can be hard. You do not want to scan and feel worried but also you may reduce your worry if you had answers.
When you feel down, think how things have improved for almost everyone in recent times. No major wars, social security, advances in health care, advances in technology such as computers, more media and entertainment than ever before, better housing, and very little downside for most things. Think that you can afford to go out, have friends, a girlfriend, and have an enormous TV, computer, and food to eat however cruel you think the world is. They obviously have done nothing to you. Also, think that although it might now sound like a cliché others are less fortunate in the world. They are poor, sick, victims of war, and famine. You can live your life without these worries. When you have so much, perhaps you should just be grateful. You do not have to do things just because they are there such as a career that is not what you would like. You could do anything else and it would make you happy. And someone else would do these other careers.
You may become ill if you worry for too long. This may be because you have reading lists, sometimes for many years before you begin to get most of the answers you need. Also think that it does help to read a bit if only for general knowledge and that you did not waste time reading about things you did. The answers you will often find from a reading list are that you are powerless to change anything for the better even when you know the reason. Nor are you expected to come up with any solutions different from quite well known solutions others have already suggested. Solutions you’ll find many people want but they don’t get. Others want different things and have different priorities. 
You may not really ever know what it is like to do someone else’s job, or live the lives they do. So stop worrying about it now. Think what you do, your own life and attend to your own business. And you can try being grateful for what you have and not worry about what you do not have. Nor about what others have or have not got or are doing or not doing. And do whatever gives you the greatest pleasure. Also, do what you enjoy and like doing and be grateful you have your health and money to do it.
You can make choices about your life that reduce worry. For example, you may choose a career that does not cause you to worry about it. A real stressor in your life is often the cause of so many other problems, real and imagined.  It is a major cause of stress for some when they do something they know is wrong but still do it. 
Someone may also do something that stresses him or her because he listens to what someone has said more than his own feelings. Perhaps, he does this because he does not want to think someone he would like to trust is giving him fake advice. Alternatively, has advised him strongly when they do not even know themselves. It is hurtful should he confront them and be told for example, he was upset and they said it to make him shut up. Moreover, it was part of the same thing to say it strongly if asked at all. Others may have no better understanding then things the worried person has heard about already and rejected. Yet he still does not want to think of someone that they do not know anything as well as him. This may be an unusual feeling for him that he has to take his own advice and stick with it. And not have someone else’s moral support even if he is not asking for any practical help. It takes some courage to make a decision that others disagree with or you can find nobody to support you on. Literally not one person you know has said the same things as you. Even when it is something that is only for you and nobody else such as how to spend you spare time. And something that makes you worried and has no effect on their lives. Even if they say, they were only saying what they knew of the matter and were not trying to pressurise you. However, some when you ask for advice do pressurise. This is hard to cope with as they may be a close family member, for example, and you cannot see why they would be so against something that was in your own best interests. More than one person may have treated you like this. It can also cause problems later on, even when this person has stopped pressurising you. This is because you constantly think of someone who is telling you what to do. And reassuring you all your fears are rubbish. And they say that there is something wrong with you when you do not want to listen to them and so on. Moreover, this keeps someone going for years, making the same mistakes repeatedly and worrying more and more. It reduces stress substantially if you do not do something you know is wrong. You want to do things without pressure. Moreover, you do not have to seek moral support. Nobody understands you better than you do. You will improve time management when you are able to do without moral support for all your decisions. 
Switch on the TV. It is interesting. When you are bored and listless, then switch on the TV and watch something decent. It’s interesting, makes you less bored and improves social skills. Stop writing your diary or messing around with something and watch a few hours TV before bed. If you have something to do, such as clean or tidy things away, do this during the breaks. On the other hand, when you have watched enough that you are content you can take a break. There may be a time of evening when you really want to switch on the TV by if you have not already done it. And you have this time regularly, which is good time management if you make a habit of switching on at a certain time. When is the time you switch on the TV or watch a DVD? Pick a time you can start. Then stop anything you’re doing and watch. You owe yourself watching a film or something on TV before you have to go to bed. It makes your day. Tell yourself that you love your telly. Moreover, that it has been good to you, and your friends talk about it. 
Also, you could try a bit of reading at other times. Get started reading by saying that you’ll read a chapter of a book but not the whole book. Alternatively, that you have a few hours and that is enough to read the whole book. Particularly, you have enough time to read if you have reading skills, e.g. skimming and skipping. On the other hand, you can make notes to help you keep your concentration. It may be only that you need reading skills to read better or more. However, being less tired may also mean you can read all you want. Reading on its own may be hard to do when you really want to watch TV. Moreover, it is de-motivating when your friends talk about TV. However, you can do both.
You can make instant savings in time. Do not do tasks that do not give you as many benefits as other activities you could do. Only focus on tasks that give the greatest benefits. However, some find this hard to do. They find it hard to give up a small pleasure to get a greater pleasure. And find it hard to take any risks at all. They find changing their life can be too scary. They also may have a crutch in something they do. Also, they may find it impossible to make any choices having never had to make any. This may be even when there is little risk and they can see great benefits. And even however little value there is to the thing they have to give up. 
Some of the rewards for changing are instant and great. For example, do not read a newspaper or watch TV news. This causes anger at political decisions you don’t like. Also, worry that the government is keeping things secret from you that you would like in the open. And it gives you poor social skills, as you cannot talk socially about politics or the news. Moreover, you could do other activities in the time it takes to keep up with the news.
Other than politics, there are other ways to see the world. Such as art, stories, science and technology, and others depending on the subjects you are interested in. Also, you can see the world just as friendships and socialising.
Write less. Writing is slow compared say to reading. It is slow because it happens to be slow by chance, as it is as fast as you can move a pen or type. Therefore, by definition so to speak, it wastes time. Writing is also unhealthy as it is unnatural for the body to write all day. You sit hunched up behind a desk. And paper and computers are unhygienic and carcinogenic. In addition, it is stressful because of trying to remember things, organising your material, and because it is not easy. Also, it is stressful because others see your work, it affects your concentration, and computer viruses may mean your computer does not work as it should, you lose data or your computer crashes. Some find writing not as mentally stimulating as reading others’ work, as you already know what you will write but have to go through the process of writing it down. Also, you may stay up late finishing off a piece of writing such as an essay, or a diary. Try writing less by using standard headings for any writing you do. Moreover, do filing correctly, so you can find things again. This can save a massive amount of time. It can reduce time spent on some writing and planning tasks from several hours a day to a few minutes a day.
Chat less. Chatting is bad for your health if you do it too much. Also, it takes a lot of time, as there is a lot of redundancy. Talking often does not get to the point, as it is only to make you feel good. You will have done everything intended for conversation if you achieve the goal of making yourself feel better. You can reduce the amount you chat and not feel bad. This is because you still have a network of friends. It is best to talk to friends about hobbies and interests and not mundane things, gossip, the newspapers, or personal problems. Talking only about hobbies, interests, and not these other things saves a large amount of your time and improves the quality of time you do have.
Healthier meals and regular meals help you be more active. Healthier meals keep you more active. Also, do not miss meals. The researcher found a perfect correlation between number of meals and number of tasks. 
Music TV and channel hopping is boring, so do not do it. When you’re a teenager, it may have benefits. Such as for teenagers they learn about relationships and things around them from songs and music magazines for their age group. And because they are new to music, so it can be mentally stimulating. However, music is less mentally stimulating when you are older and have heard the same songs repeatedly, literally thousands of times. Some did not however have such a surfeit of music when younger and still find it new. And others find it relaxing. And anything that helps you relax is a decent goal to have. However, you may watch music TV out of boredom and it is titillation. It does not give some much to say about it. Channel hopping, e.g. between music channels reduces concentration. In addition, music TV and channel hopping reduces time on other activities that will give you social skills. 
Better hygiene makes you feel less tired and ill and you can be more active. Better hygiene does not take much time but makes you feel better so you can keep active. And do not feel you can’t cope. It is also good for health generally.
Improve self-esteem. On its own, this is a major goal, and the only goal some may have. Other than better self-esteem, some may have goals for health, and a budget. Better health and a more money improve self-esteem. And any achievements may only be for self-esteem. You can get better self-esteem by connecting to your inner-self and trying to understand yourself better. Moreover, improve your self-esteem by being a good friend and understanding your friends, others and things around you better. On the other hand, if something brings you happiness, then you should do it. If you were happy, your health would improve and you would feel less tired and stressed. And you would be healthier even if nothing else changed.

EASY PLANNING TO MANAGE YOUR TIME BETTER
A plan for your time use may be as easy as this
TO DO
Get to bed at reasonable time and get a decent night’s sleep. Read a bit, watch TV a bit, do some exercise. Also cook, clean, and wash. Socialise. 
ADMIN
Write a check-list of things to do. Change it when you need to, e.g., to delete some items that are redundant and add new ones. Keep a notebook of books you have read and make a note in a diary of days you have done exercise. Keep an appointments diary.
STRESS AND HEALTH
Don’t have any ambitions except to have a few friends, keep yourself fit, and read and watch TV a bit. Do everything you can to reduce stress – a reading list you keep for a short a time as possible; cardio-vascular exercise; reduce or eliminate stressful activities, and improve other physical health such as sleeping better. If there is one thing you could do for yourself what would it be – look after your health, do some exercise, better diet, better hygiene, stop worrying, stop trying to succeed, don’t have unrealistic ambitions, probably all of these, or at least one of them. One of them could make all the difference. Do any one you find easiest first. Then work on the next problem. Tell yourself you are getting there so the journey is not stressful.
A number of different approaches exist for managing your time:-
LOGICAL RATIONAL – a bit like machines you only need planning to manage your time better
STRESS – human beings can’t stand excitement or boredom and will do everything possible to achieve a level of emotional stability
MOTIVATION – when you want to do something, you do it
HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT ALL THE SAME – and some find it harder to do some things than others do
Each approach has advantages and disadvantages. Plans and computers characterise the logical rational approach. The disadvantage with this method is when for some reason or other someone cannot keep to the plan. Stress – this approach says that human beings cannot take stress, they try to avoid it and it stops them doing things. Goals may be stressful. This stops you achieving goals. In addition, stress is bad for health. Motivation – the disadvantage is such things can motivate someone as fame he will not get at the expense of better activities. Human beings are not all the same – however, personality traits are found in everyone to some degree or other. And health problems affect some.
One way you might approach the subject on an individual basis is to start with the logical rational approach and see when you still have a problem keeping to your plans. Then try another approach instead.
Time management is easy, you are doing it all right all along. You can instantly improve your time use right now and even change how well you used your time in the past. All you have to do to improve instantly your time use is change something you did in the past but wanted to avoid to be something you feel you might have wanted to do. Do this by changing what you consider worthwhile goals. By being less strict on what your goals are, you can change whether you used your time well or poorly. You may already be a success in managing your time. 
To see if you’re managing your time well already, try having categories for ‘all things you have to do’, ‘goals’ and ‘things you don’t have to do’. ‘Things you don’t have to do’ should be easy to eliminate. When you cannot eliminate them, there must be some reason for it. For example, include therapy as ‘all things you have to do’ such as writing notes to yourself because you have a need for it even though you might like to be able to cope without it. Moreover, having breaks is not ‘things you don’t have to do’ because everyone needs rest. Also, socialising is a human need. Activities you worry about changing to improve time use, which may only be seen as goals, as things you have to do, or things you did because you had poor well-being or had not had the right advice yet. When the author used the categories he found that for years, he had not wasted more than a few per cent of his time on ‘things you don’t have to do’. Moreover, this had not changed much. ‘Things you have to do' and 'goals’ took all his time. 
Do not think everything has to do with time management because time links activities. Knowledge is divided up into categories and these categories are useful for learning. When you have some facts and ideas in your head you have used your time well even when you do nothing now.
Some think goal setting is all there is to manage your time better. The main reason for wasting time is you do not achieve goals you started on, or do not think were worth the time if you do achieve them. Take time to think of what goals you would really like. You will save time if you do not try to do something that does not/would not make you feel happy. This will also save time on goal setting and making plans if you have the right goals. And you do not have doubts you are doing things that will not bring you happiness.
There are other important time wastes. A time waste is not being able to find things. Therefore, organise books on a bookcase and file correctly. Also, washing up too many things, and constant trips to the shops to get things you have forgotten. Also, a time waste is feeling tired and under the weather because of late nights, lack of exercise, or stress. And poor health wastes time as being ill or housebound can waste most of your time. 
A time waste for socialising is walking around, wondering what others are doing, trying to find them, and hanging around. They are watching TV, reading, or doing what you should be doing if you were not wearing out your legs looking for them. And you waste time chatting to whoever is around. You also waste time with poor social skills if you do not get anything from conversations. If you were a little less tired and stressed it might mean you were happier with your conversations and relationships. For example, you waste time and it is poor social skills discussing your personal problems. Perhaps you discuss them endlessly. Moreover, it wastes time and is poor social skills when you meet others to do boring or mundane things that is all you have to talk about. You could make more time to socialise and do goals by doing things together with friends other than chatting, e.g. cards, and watching a DVD. 
Socialising is a human need you have to do. However, you can improve your social skills to improve the time you do spend socialising. Also, you do not need to socialise as much as you might do to fulfil this basic human need. Moreover, you could transfer this time directly to other goals.
For TV, you waste time not knowing what is on TV and missing it. Not paying attention to the TV because you are distracted thinking about mundane things or personal problems can waste time also. Doing nothing for long periods is another time waste. 
For worry, this consumes time and energy and you do boring, stress relieving activities. And take time trying to find solutions to your worries. You would rather not have these worries to begin with but would rather get on with your life. Moreover, if you don’t get the advice that you need that wastes time. Try to get all the advice you need.
Poor health can waste time, e.g. if you become in poor health from worry or because you do not do enough exercise then later if you become housebound then not going out wastes time. Because you have a limited number of things, you can do inside. Moreover, would enjoy going out. And you have no alternative. 
Taking time to get a decent general knowledge after not learning much at school, and forgetting what you did learn. Reading too long whilst not concentrating wastes time. So take breaks when reading. Alternatively, make odd times to read that have some natural end to them such as before meals, on the bus or train, before going out for a walk, or before or after switching on the TV.
Personal priorities are priorities you may have in your personal life, e.g. for how you use your spare time. They are different from priorities you might have at work. At work, you try to get tasks done, finish them and start a new project. You may decide what you want to do for personal tasks but your employer decides what you do at work. In addition, personal time management might not work so well as more clearly defined work time management. And you can ask for advice on work tasks. 
TV will give you more conversation than books as everyone watches TV. And it is easier to remember than writing. However, you may get things from books you cannot from TV. It is not possible to concentrate on reading for more than an hour at a time and you can only read for pleasure a few hours a day. However, you can concentrate on TV for longer, perhaps all day. Therefore, TV is a priority but you may read also sometimes.
For exercise, you can stop anything you were doing and go to the gym. Try these things, prioritising exercise first, watching TV, reading for a few hours a day to improve social skills, and not chatting aimlessly all day. Don’t when you find you have more time on your hands start a project to fill the empty hours, e.g. learning a musical instrument or computer software, or recreational study. Take a nap, or have a relaxing bath when you feel bored. Alternatively, go out for a walk.
Moreover, try to increase the amount you do of your goals over time. Doing too much at once can cause strain, e.g. eye strain reading too much, as well as you are not used to doing so much. When you feel you cannot concentrate and remember things make notes of your hobbies. However, keep it short or use the features of a WP to help you, e.g. inserting a paragraph of something you thought you should have in your piece. Alternatively, keep short handwritten notes that don’t need editing. Better health will increase time on goals by being less tired. You cannot do anything when you are tired or feel ill or are stressed. When stressed you only feel like solving your problems and not doing anything else. Getting a good night's sleep is the most important priority for anyone that does not sleep well now. 
Avoid real stressors. Real stressors are things like writing, computers, and poor social skills. To have time management you could learn how to do things like write and use a computer better if you do these things at all or for very long. Or you can avoid these, as they can still be stressful to learn when it takes time to learn fully. ‘Real stressors’ are things that may not affect you directly but you worry about. E.g. what others are doing. And can be reduced by a reading list. On the other hand, say to yourself you won’t worry or try to find out any more once you’ve read enough. And you may have already read enough when you think about it. Think you have read a lot about it and know it well enough. Then think a problem through. See where this leads. You may understand the subject better when your self-esteem is higher. As things don’t seem like such problems.
Some activities are necessary only as therapy. These can be for any kind of stress whether real or imaginary. Many activities are a human need such as to socialise, to spend some time thinking about your day and your plans, and to communicate sometimes by other means other than talking to friends, such as writing. 
And very little can be defined as always a goal or not always a goal. Even doing nothing may only be because you are tired and need rest and rest is unavoidable. About the only real time waste is to do something out of habit when it no longer has benefits. Such as listen to music when you are no longer a teenager, some would say. About the only other time waste is doing something that damages your health. This cannot have benefits in the long-term. Doing therapy is not a time waste, as you can get better so it is worthwhile. Only, you would like to be better sooner rather than later. You can get better sooner if you do more therapy. Also, poor health can ruin many goals, e.g. when you are housebound and really cannot do things you want except watch TV. Nothing that improves health is ever wasted as good health can make you feel so much better, less tired, do more, and be happier about your body and your life. Moreover, good health may be all that is needed to stop worry. And do things you have as goals rather than activities you do out of boredom, habit, and for therapy of some kind.
Think of your problems you’d like to solve and the ones that have been solved. Chances are the ones that were solved were from getting the advice you needed, meeting different people, and having more opportunities. You may have seen a doctor and this solved your problems. Also, you could have moved to somewhere that had better shops and amenities, parks and places you could go for walk. Or you had a bigger flat with a better kitchen and more space. Also, you may have got internet access. 
However, that does not solve your problems now, you think. Skills and learning solves problems. And you have to learn how to learn. And problem solving requires particular skills you can learn also. Skills for problem solving are really academic skills like those you would learn at school or college. This is why problem solving for some may be so hard and unproductive. They don’t have such skills from their own education. And trying to solve problems without these skills takes time and effort, and may fail. If you have these skills already or you can revise them then problem solving may be a lot easier and is more likely to be a success. 
A way round not having these skills is to have advice that you can understand and follow. However, this may be difficult. Many books are quite technical and hard to read that would help you if only you could understand them. You could however always try to improve your reading skills so you can read them. These books may give you great benefits if you do. 
You could read books you might think would help you for years without getting all the help you need. Getting professional advice may help a lot and help you sooner rather than later. Problem solving may work for some who have the education to solve problems like this although others can try and may have some success but possibly with more time and effort. 
Some things outside of your control or that couldn’t have happened any earlier can change your life for the better also. Many personal problems are in fact caused by lethargy, tiredness, poor concentration, inability to cope or other problems due to illness. You can’t follow a plan, do keep fit, or achieve goals because of illness. When you lose a little weight, start going out for walks or find a sleep routine that works for you some problems, if not all your problems, may be a thing of the past.
Other science tells us that everyone learns all the skills they’ll need as an adult when they are children. Children’s play is acting out being adults. They learn in school everything they need to know about the adult world in the subjects they study at school. They learn the social skills they need as adults and how to talk about different subjects talking to their friends in the school playground. They develop a world view that works for them. Some may forget some of this due to drink, illness, or other reasons. However, they must remember almost all of it or they’d have quite childish behaviour. For example, adults don’t read a newspaper cover to cover like teenagers new to it. In addition, adults already know how to talk about a film, have heard of things such as a genre of fiction, and don’t forget what chess or other games and things are if they knew about them when young. 
However, things can go wrong as an adult. Some can’t cope with powerful software on their computer intended originally for business use. You can use easier to understand software intended for home use or not use a WP or spreadsheet at all. Planning using a computer word processor and spreadsheet can be hard when you may not be keeping the right files having no experience of what files to keep. A purpose-made program such as you can get for a computer or mobile phone to organise your time may be better. Another reason for failure is to confuse career and personal ambitions. You need a qualification to show an employer and can’t learn at home. However, you did learn how to cope as a child. It may help to revise your school work if you can. And anything you learned later that was general knowledge. This will help you cope with the media, living in society and understanding things around you.
By chance, someone may not have learned something properly to begin with. However, they are trying to do it now. And sometimes this can be mistaken for problems planning. The activity itself is the problem, not knowing how to do it. Alternatively, there is a particular way to plan one activity you do, outside of a goal-setting plan. And they may find it hard to do things that are in their overall plan because they find one task they do hard. They may try to improve their plan for hours every day, sometimes for years. However, they are sick and tired. Moreover, they will never keep to their plan even if they did improve it. If they kept to their plan they already had, it might have a high chance of success. 
This chapter should have given some ideas about time management. And in particular helped coping with the stress of time management. And as well give you some tips on coping with managing your time on a computer. And it may have helped managing your time to do more hobbies and interests to improve your social skills. However, read on for more advice and tips you might be able to use.
COMPUTERS 
The author has found that talking about his experiences of using a computer at home is useful to others who also have computers at home. Alternatively, they may use them at work. 
Others say they have benefited in a number of ways. They worry about computers less. And have been able to stop using a computer at home or use it less. This was when they had worried about health issues with them but still wanted to use them. They were fascinated by the possibilities of computer science. They used a computer less because they used it better. They asked about how to do things on computers they wanted to do rather than talking about computers generally. And saying how computers were modern and important to everyone. Also, they made rapid progress in learning how to use a computer. And asked for computer lessons having a clear idea of what they wanted to learn and do. These are all benefits that can be life changing. For example, readers may not get ill overusing a computer. Also, understand something that affects our lives today, and use their computers for tasks they really want to do or couldn’t have achieved before. And save time using a computer less or not at all. And do not feel stressed by using a computer.
A computer word processor comes directly from a typewriter as a typewriter did from pen and paper. Indeed a computer can still be used instead of a pen and paper and vice versa. Think what advantages and disadvantages a computer will give you instead of a typewriter or pen and paper. Also, think of doing nothing. Doing nothing as they say is the easiest and best way to make a massive saving of time and effort.
Word Processors. You need a typed copy only when you need to show it to someone. Typing even for a proficient typist is slow. And overusing your computer will give you poor health.
Spreadsheets. It would be impossible to do many calculations without a computer. Lists are neat because they are in columns. The main home use for a spreadsheet is a budget. You can learn how to budget from published sources whether using a computer, notebook, or nothing. You can save money without a computer. Computers cost money to buy and run.
Email. It has advantages and disadvantages over any other form of communication, e.g., Email is faster than letters, but phones you can hear tone of voice.
Browser. The Web is growing and improving. But you may be better off still going to your local library. Books are often the best source of knowledge but clicking on links appeals to hurried users. You can order or download books online. Chat rooms and forums let you discuss any topic.
A computer is useful for some things but not others. Computers are useful once you understand the software on your computer. And they can help you with hobbies and interests. For example, someone’s goals may be divided into computer and non-computer. And they need to understand the technology and additional skills to do computer activities. Then they will spend less time on learning these skills, do computer hobbies better and achieve something they might not have been able to otherwise. If they don’t use a computer, they will have more time for non-computer goals.
Someone’s computer goals were writing a novel and poetry and doing amateur research. He wanted his computer to help with these. His learning journey for doing these goals included learning statistics, writing skills, and research skills. And time management skills. He should however have read others’ research more before writing anything and wasting his time. Also, he found datasets online that would have saved him time and effort learning skills he didn’t need. He still needed writing skills. He had general goals of reading novels and watching decent TV. And he had things to avoid of writing and using a computer. However, because he did not have the right computer and writing skills he did not write well, took too long doing computer tasks and solving computer problems, and overused his computer. And computers offered some kind of therapy. Therefore, he did not do his hobbies. He felt he was addicted to computers and writing so did not achieve goals of reading and watching more TV. In retrospect, the computer did not tell him anything he did not know already. For example, he knew already to do exercise. And he could have been reading a book instead of using a computer. 
A major use of computers now is the internet. But you can have mixed feelings about the internet. Instead of Email, phoning is quicker, easier and more convenient. Forums have comments you can read in the newspaper. And looking up academic articles and websites you may be reminded of either books or newspaper articles you have read with little else to add. A click of a button to find answers is quicker but you could read a book instead. And being able to shop in a big town, you may not want to shop online. Today the main software most use is Email and a browser for the internet. Word processors and spreadsheets are older programs you may want to use. However, they cause problems for many computer users. Overuse can damage your health and they may not pay much back for the time learning them and using them. 
Computers can offer a great deal of pleasure and usefulness. Unfortunately, should you not use them correctly they can be a waste of time and bad for health. To get the most from your computer be aware of health guidelines about computer use. And get the most from your programs by understanding them. For getting more from your programs, set goals that you would really like to use a computer for. These should be no different from other goals. E.g. using a computer for a goal should give you as much pleasure as other non-computer goals. Computer programs add value to what is in your head or on paper. Word processors produce professional looking typed pages for others to see. Spreadsheets can do thousands of calculations. Photo-editing and video-editing software is excellent for your hobby. You can keep in touch with Email or instant messenger and look things up on the Web. A browser and Email is the most useful software for a computer at home. Should you type a lot consider safer faster methods such as speech recognition. 
They say some find some computer programs easier depending on the user’s general abilities and interests. Some find some software easy to use and quick to learn. E.g., some, when they may have an interest in chatting find word processors, presentation packages, and website design software easy to use. In addition, they have an interest in communication generally. Spreadsheets are easy to learn if you like figures. Databases improve office efficiency. They are about records and business forms and others seeing this data to do their work.
Learning computers can be rewarding like any learning. And like any learning uses some of the same skills.
You can use your computer for a home admin system. A feature of any admin system is that you have in effect two filing systems – one on the computer and one in paper folders. Both of which have their own advantages and disadvantages. The advantage of a paper system is readability and durability if the computer crashes and the advantage of the computer system are calculations and editing and printing documents. You can edit a document for spelling and grammar but you save much time if you always write in practical English. And you write as little as possible to communicate because computers can produce too much for anyone to read. E.g., your friends have too much in their in-box.
Computers have their own problems. Using a computer can waste paper, e.g. to keep printed files up to date and producing typed work. As could your writing, too many handwritten notes also waste paper. Copying and pasting can be a problem. Think what files you want. Copy and paste for a definite reason. Spreadsheets calculate figures and you cannot often do this by hand. 
To start doing your own admin write on paper a Task List and To Do List. A Task List is all the tasks you want to do at some time in the future and a To Do List is all the tasks to do today. Keep this on paper and then try keeping it on computer. Edit your Task List to add new tasks to do and delete tasks you’ve done. Copy and paste from your Task List to your daily To Do List and print it so you can always refer to it. This may save you time and effort over doing it on paper. And use this to organise your own time. 
Admin is planning, control and research. We research, plan what we will do so we succeed, see the result and modify the plan where it is not working.
Plan + control = planned outcome
A skill does not require planning but skill. Few skills of any kind really need planning. However, planning needs skills. Such as if you plan on a computer you need computers and other skills.
For computers the skills are:-
Using the software, e.g., where buttons or menus are
How to analyse data using graphs or stats.
How to write good English
Type well or use speech recognition
From the above you can see that you have planning, control and skills. Both planning and control use skills. Once you have learned skills you have only two things to think about, planning and control. 
Planning is:-
Research
Communication with others to understand/be given tasks/get advice
Task List, To Do List and Schedule
Design a particular spreadsheet, for data to be entered and analysed
Control is:-
Analysis using a spreadsheet
Filing done well
Is task done quickly and well – either my own view or others feedback
The downside of this is that doing admin like this may waste a lot of time. What you want is to be able to find solutions more easily. Trying to find solutions at home using WP and spreadsheet files, paper files and notebooks can take time and not work well. To find solutions using a computer and paper you must have an effective filing system and know how to use the software. Some find these hard to do.
Word processors. You can edit a plan on a word processor better than on paper. This is because you do not have to write it out again when the page is full or no longer clear. There may be no one best way of writing a plan. Do not start again writing it but use editing tools such as copy and paste. In addition, you can use the word processor to design a standard form, as this is easier to see what you have written on. 
Spreadsheets. A spreadsheet can do calculations that would take too long by hand or using a pocket calculator. A budget is the most important planning tool.
Filing. Files on both computer and paper are probably a waste of time. However, back up files and sometimes keep important files on paper. Files on computer are more useful often than paper files. Organising your folders is important. Take some time to label them correctly. For paper files, choosing the type of paper file you want is the most important decision for them.
You may think computers themselves are a waste of time and want to go back to a time before computers. This is still possible for many computer users. However, try to be more practical first. Perhaps now you are ready to do without it you may see how to use it more clearly. How many times have you heard someone say they do not want to use their computer any more for some reason or other but they still do. They complain it is bad for their health and wastes time. Perhaps they could think of what benefits they can get from their computer and what they want to use it for. They may get better use from it, and reduce their use. Think of all the amazing things computers can do. They say you have the opportunity to use them, and should be grateful. Just thinking this you may improve your computer use. In addition, you can take or leave some of the things you were doing on it.
Try switching your computer off for a week as an experiment. When you do, you may read many times more books and other paper reading. So keep it switched off or use it for a few hours a week if you can keep to that. Maybe all you would rather do is watch TV all day. Then if that is better, do it rather than use a computer. Paradoxically, using the internet encourages book reading. However, some technology writers say EBooks will probably replace paper books. However, other writers say EBooks also may not be healthy due to electro-magnetic radiation from the screen. Therefore, paper is not defunct technology by any means. Computers can be a hobby and worthwhile but only when you know what you want them for. Moreover, you would not really just prefer to read books. 
Starting a computer project may waste time, e.g. when the particular project does not work well. A time use project tries to improve how well you use your time. It is important to reduce the time taken on the project itself to improve your time use. Read published books and magazines rather than problem solving on your own. You may never find the solutions you are looking for on your own and reading others’ research is much quicker than doing your own. Stress and worry and personal problems are bad for time use. Read some self-help books. Typing notes takes time. To type a few pages may take a few hours unless you are a quite proficient typist. On paper, it is easy to use abbreviations, symbols, and diagrams. And this saves time. Better still run it through in your head if you can. Not having the crutch of a keyboard or notepad may mean you think of the problem better. Health should always be a high priority and good health may improve your time use, e.g. you will feel less tired. To save time on a Time Management project get advice on time use and reduce any notes you have to make to a minimum.
Home projects such as research projects may offer the chance of a scientific breakthrough. After all, you have the same or similar software on your computer to many professional researchers. Therefore, that is one less problem with doing research. Of course, your research will largely be at the level your education finished at with one or two things you may have learned later.
To use a computer for amateur research design a standard form on a word processor and fill it in. Data enter this form into a spreadsheet or database and analyse the data. Alternatively, download datasets from the internet. The standard form could be to note how you spent your time, for observations of anything. The standard form is easier to write on and see what you have written. To reduce the time and effort filling in a form use abbreviations, and single letters when possible. Only collect as much data as you need to test your hypotheses. Hypotheses are the things you are trying to prove. You should read all you can about doing research before you start and limit your research to what you know how to do. Original scientific research may involve collecting data that has not been collected before or analysing data, others have collected. Reusing others’ datasets saves time and effort. Doing research wrong, or collecting and analysing too much data, can cause burn out. In addition, you cannot keep doing research indefinitely even when you do it better. However, it is an interesting project if you keep it short and do it right.
Using a computer can be complicated. Use it wrong and you take all your time to do the simplest task. You could be doing other non-computer tasks or better using your computer. 
There are a number of ways of using it wrong:-
Using a computer for tasks that do not need doing on a computer or at all, or which could be done less extensively.
Not understanding the technology or software.
Viewing too much information, e.g. more than you need or can remember, is called information overload.
To use a computer well follow these tips:-
Try designing something simple first, e.g. a weekly table for your budget. And design a more detailed spreadsheet later if you still want it. Also, use less data by having such as a product category, e.g. toiletries, or clothes.
Computers are used mainly for writing. And some find they are excellent for this. 
But you do not want to overuse your computer for health reasons.
Understanding your computer helps you use it better. To use your computer at home well you have to understand the technology. This is more than how to do things on your computer by making the correct mouse clicks to do things. However, this essential start may go a long way to understanding the technology. Knowing more about your computer does help you use your computer better. It saves you time and effort and you can see what your computer can really do. 
Programs on a computer are word processors, spreadsheets, browsers, and Email. These programs were originally for business users but sold for home users as well. The personal use of these programs is different from business use. You are not using them to run a business when you have a computer at home and you are not a businessperson. Word processors are for writing letters or a novel. In addition, you could write a newsletter with your personal news in and give it to friends. However, your friends may find this a little bit like nonsense. You can use spreadsheets for your home budget and for lists, e.g. your CD collection. Some programs are ideal for home use, e.g. photo editing. Understanding your software, you use your computer better.
A home computer project someone had was to use his computer so he would do more exercise. He went to the gym to improve fitness. Then he recorded his progress. He thought that it might help motivate him and the analysis could improve fitness. The data he recorded was date, type of exercise, and sets, reps, and weight. Alternatively, for jog or walk the time taken. In addition, he started a diary about exercise on his computer as well. This would eventually run to over 20,000 words. After some months, he made a full evaluation of his data and his diary. All he understood from his diary was that he felt better every time he went to the gym unless he had a minor injury worry. He did not need to keep a diary any more. For the exercises, he did the same number of sets and reps and only altered the weight. Therefore, he could see his improvement without a spreadsheet by how much weight he lifted. He did not need to keep a spreadsheet any more. He could however see the rate of progress over time. It was not consistent, often coinciding with injury worries but also lack of direction. He had improved more on some exercises i.e. leg exercises more than arm. The progress on one exercise had been very good. This was his favourite exercise. The computer did help motivate him and gave him a few tips such as what his best exercises were.
Sometimes advice on using a computer safely is to have a better posture or to take breaks. However, other ways you use a computer can affect your health. 
Examples of how you use your computer that can cause poor health:-
Opening files or web pages, and scrolling causes a flash that affects the eyes 
Radiation may be in the background the whole time and so harm directly caused by computer use per se
Too many mouse and key strokes can also cause health problems
If you type a lot with a computer, you should be able to type as well as a typist could on a typewriter in the past. Alternatively, you’ll damage your health. Although typing a lot even for a good typist may not be safe per se.
Examples of how to use your computer better:-
Instead of using the internet and making your own notes, read books and magazines, and watch TV
Use navigation keys such as page up or page down rather than scrolling
Other features require fewer mouse clicks, such as buttons
Learning every feature of your software should mean you work faster and better. This may take a little time but it is worth the time taken if you are a serious computer user.
To use your computer so you keep your health understand the software and learn more how to do admin. Also, type well and use speech recognition software sometimes to spread the load between your lungs and fingers. Have a desktop rather than a laptop, as this is more ergonomic. In addition, you will still have to set up and use a desktop so it is ergonomic. Also, look up radiation and other health advice. And all the other variables to safe, effective computer use. 
You may not feel comfortable with so many variables, not only to use a computer so you get the benefits but also that it is not a complete disaster that wastes your time. And as well that if it doesn’t seem safe then perhaps don’t use a computer. Go to the library as you always used to and forget about having a computer.
The best way to use a computer well is to try to understand the technology and if you don’t like the technology don’t use it. And end the love affair you have with it. Some get a computer at home and can’t stop using it. They can’t stop using it even though they know it wastes their time and is bad for their health. The best advice I can give you if you think you waste time on your computer at home is to give it up. Draw a line under it and do other things you like better. When you still want to use it then a compromise to have some of the upside with less downside is to use it less. One way of doing this is to look forward to taking breaks from your computer. And eventually take all breaks. Alternatively, it might be best to refrain completely immediately. When you designed a budget spreadsheet and didn’t save any cash you should read up about bargains. For a word processor, the only use I can see for one is to write a novel. Write a novel if you really want to, in as short a time as possible, and don’t write another. Don’t write study notes but buy published notes. You can try doing something else for longer and longer other than use your computer. Therefore, you have another interest. You solve many problems if you end your love affair with your computer. When your health isn’t too bad from using one you could still use the internet occasionally. 
Someone recently finished writing a novel on his or her computer at home. This is an example of something a computer can do well. However, you may only do this to find out what it is like and fulfil a long-held ambition. 
This is someone’s experience of writing a novel. He says:-
“After I had finished writing my novel, I printed a copy, and showed someone my novel. They didn’t look at it much. And the whole thing left me deflated. Nobody would read all of it, literally nobody however long I had known them. They flicked through it and said that it wasn’t very well written and others didn’t even open the cover. I thought how long I had written my novel. Really, I could have done something else. I could have made myself an interesting chap if I had learned more about my hobbies, and others would have wanted to speak to me. That would have been a lot better than a chance of fame as a novelist. 
I did not need my computer for much now. I had already stopped writing my diary on my computer. A hand-written copy was quicker. I had even stopped writing the hand-written copy as a waste of time. It was a kind of therapy I did not get anything out of now. My budget took less than an hour a week. I still felt though like switching on my computer out of habit. Now I had no need to use it. I was left with long days and I had to find something to fill them. Writing a novel had been an ambition but now I had to start some normal living.”
You can write a novel using a word processor. However, you can also use a word processor for other reasons. This is someone’s experience of using a word processor and spreadsheet software. He says:-
“I first used a word processor and spreadsheet a few years ago. It was out-of-date software for this even then. Having poorer software had some unintended benefits. What you saw or could do on your computer was not so inviting with older software. Therefore, you did not overuse it as when you had software that is more powerful. In addition, I wasted less time on it. Using my old word processor, I typed a novel and poetry. 
Getting a new computer as a gift, I used it most of the day sometimes. I wrote a diary, did amateur research, and made notes. In addition, I started another unsuccessful novel. Another reason I used a word processor and spreadsheet is that I did not have an internet connection. I might have found this more interesting. Word processors now have better speech recognition software. A sound diary saved hours of typing. Other software you can get for your computer at home is excellent if you have some hobbies. I took up photography because I had a computer already and only needed the photo-editing software. You may only need to know how to use the software and this will reduce your worry using it.”
Some research into stress and computers had these findings. The researcher asked a number of work and home users about the value they got from computers and how stressed it made them feel.
It reduces stress to type well, e.g. with fingers on the home keys. They are more likely to be able to think through problems in their head at the end of the day to do with their work if they type well and use a computer well. Their reports are not only free from typing errors but better written as well. Home users can learn this lesson to, reduce stress, and improve their documents if they type well. Less stressed Subjects did not give their computers such a high value but paradoxically are more likely to be objectively positive about it. This is even when they did not like computers. Less stressed respondents talked about the real life benefits, they got now from computers. In addition, they talked about their work or careers generally but not computers. Less stressed respondents had a conversation about computers without talking about any other subject. 
The most stressed talked about typing, poor health from overuse, learning the software, and problems with doing tasks to an acceptable standard. They were however keenly interested to use their computers for the advantages they felt computers gave generally, e.g. they said they were modern. The most stressed had references to other high value issues and activities in their conversations about computers.
To conclude:-
Using computers well is less stressful and saves time in a virtuous circle. 
One strategy is not to use computers at all when you cannot cope. As only taking a lot of time to learn and read up about them may help you. And you may not want to spend so much time. Learning computers to be a proficient user can sometimes take years. Another strategy is to buy less powerful software with fewer features. This could be for word processing, spreadsheets, photo editing or any software. Moreover, perhaps you could try to avoid some software altogether. Many users who learned word processors and spreadsheet software now only use Email and a browser. You may choose to learn from them before you use similar software, are stressed and waste time. 
Word processors are used for writing. And you have to learn writing skills, the same as for pen and paper. It may save you time and give you more enjoyment and sense of achievement from writing if you learned how to write better. Computers can be fun, rewarding and give you a sense of achievement. Almost any software you buy with a computer is of some use to some or indispensable to others. 
Using a computer can be stressful, particularly when you are trying to use it for new things you didn’t do on it before. Stress is bad for health and makes you miserable. And you waste time. Stress may be an unavoidable part and a negative part of learning all you need to know for doing things on a computer. And it may be unavoidably stressful using a computer. It is bound to be stressful unless you have a good teacher. However, computers involve many types of learning. Such as to write a novel you need to know how to use the WP and computer filing system and other computer things. It is not only the software but admin skills such as filing. Also, you need to know how to write a novel with writing skills same as if you had a pad and pen. The combination of these may cause problems as you have more than one thing to learn and be good at. The courses in computers are often only with employment in mind. You can choose not to learn hard-to-use computer software at all, particularly WP and spreadsheet software. Alternatively, get less powerful software with fewer features. In addition, take the other tips given in this book. 
This book has also given others’ experiences so you can decide whether you want to pursue those goals, e.g. writing a novel, amateur research, and organising your life/time management. May the author humbly suggest you try none of them or very few of them. Only use a browser and Email, and do not use that too much either. You may see your computer as a way of getting fame, changing the world and leaving a legacy. This book gives what someone else’s experience was of these projects, e.g. of writing fiction, amateur research, and other projects you could try. You may think it’s not such a great experience and not try it. Alternatively, think it is exactly what you want to do and be grateful for any advice you can get that will make it easier and let you do more in a shorter space of time. Moreover, I should say this book would not have been written without the author also wanting his piece of fame. Maybe you need therapy rather than to write a novel or non-fiction book, as it can eat you up inside trying to be a successful author. At least if you don’t get it right the first time you try to write something. Perhaps though, for you, your fifteen minutes of fame is achievable today. All you need is a PC and internet access. And fifteen minutes of fame is something you want. However, starting may mean you keep going though you find it hard. You want to finish your novel and not waste the time you spent so far. So for some it may be worth not starting at all. Alternatively, start in a small way, e.g. with reviews or poems. And these cost less in time and effort than a writing a novel. Today computers can give you 15 minutes of fame. It is possible now, like at no time before. 
A few years ago, fame was a hard-to-achieve long-term and almost impossible-to-achieve ambition. Therefore, stress from wanting fame may be hard to avoid by psychological theories of stress, i.e. all long-term goals are stressful. Now everyone can be famous for fifteen minutes, quite literally today. Perhaps if you can write a novel in only a few months, know how to type well, can use the software to a high standard, have an ergonomic computer and all the other variables then it is not stressful and you can achieve success. As well as needing to have skills to write a novel if that is your ambition. So go for it. The same might be true if you released a song, or sold your artwork. 
If you want 15 minutes of fame then you may use this book for tips about how to achieve it rather than taking the message from it that these ambitions/using a computer might waste your time, and give you stress and poor health. My hope is this book will have helped you towards your ambitions. And helped, as well if you decide you don’t want to use a computer any more and you are happy with that decision.
SOCIAL SKILLS
Better social skills will make you friends, reduce stress, and you do not waste so much time. Human beings need social interaction to be happy. Many would like conversation that is more interesting. Working on social skills, you can have these. When you have learned social skills, you may have succeeded in having a better social life. As well, social skills are important because good social skills are good for your health as well as making friends. 
To pep up your conversation you need things to talk about and social skills techniques. Social skills techniques are things like turn taking, and body language. Social skills content is what you have to talk about, e.g. because of the hobbies you have. 
You may talk too much because you are worried about things. You make yourself look bad, gossip, and talk about worries. Alternatively, you never have the conversations you want about better subjects to talk about such as art, lit, and feelings. Your friends only know part of you, the sad you, and not the best part. 
You may think you could get help for your worries by talking about them. Your worries would be over. And you could get on with your life. Alternatively, you may not find the advice you are looking for. However, to do this you can try not saying the same thing again to the same person when you got no advice before. Only talk about your worries when you think you will get advice to start with.
Often you know many solutions already. It is perhaps worth organising these into notes you can refer to. Then do not talk about them, unless what you say or hear will be new. However, you may get help for your worries talking about them. Your worries would be over and you could get on with your life or you may not find the advice you’re looking for. Alternatively, for health reasons, read more about your problems. Try not to write so much down. Also, it improves your conversations by not talking about your worries. Instead, try to organise your thoughts in your head in a quiet moment. And when you meet friends, it helps talking about better subjects others know about. If you do talk to friends about your worries, you can try not saying the same thing again to the same person. Alternatively, try not to say the same thing to different friends when you get no new answers. And try only to talk about your worries when you think you really will get advice. By not talking about your worries, you improve social skills and keep friends.
Your friends often do not know the answers to your worries. By not talking about your worries, you improve social skills and keep friends. Your friends do not want to hear about your worries. This is because you make yourself look bad, give away personal information you don’t want everyone to know, you may break confidences of others who are part of your worries, and seeing your worries often makes others also feel worried. Alternatively, you never have the conversations you want about better subjects to talk about such as art, lit, and pleasant feelings. You’re friends only know part of you, the sad you, and not the best part. And you lose fiends talking about negative things and never positive things.
Social skills are closely linked to how attractive you are as a person to know. However, some may think they are a nice person and hope someone will see the real them. However, others may not see you as you see yourself. Someone may like to think they are nice person but you have to show it somehow for others to think it as well. However, you need to work at it and not just think it. 
Things that really make you a ‘nice’ person to anyone:-
Appearance. Appearance should be slim, attractive, hygienic and good body language.
Social skills. Learn all you can from books. They work and good social skills make others feel good. That means they think you are a nice person.
Stress. Most like someone without worries, who is never angry and can cope. That is nice.
Activities. They like someone they can say something about, e.g. an artist.
Home. You thought about your living space and it reflects your personality. 
Career. Can be unemployed and do all right. They like someone who does not talk about work worries, or office politics. And they like someone who seems happy and competent in his job. Nor does he have ideas about his work.
Politics. Never think of you as having a political view. Nobody who is political is liked by everyone and maybe by very few.
Friendships. Most like anyone who spends time and effort on his friends. However, most importantly is interesting and non-controversial to talk to.
Relationships. A lot of this is the same as for friendships. Also, the body matters. And your bedroom as well as your sitting room has to be, as your girlfriend would want it. Your friends only see your sitting room.
Ideas. Good general knowledge essential. Not worried because he cannot understand ideas or things around him. Moreover, does not over analyse.
To be a nice person you have to work at it. Some ideas have been discussed here.
Another idea some have that may be wrong-headed is the idea of beauty. However, it may be only about understanding beauty per se. To some beauty gives their life meaning. However, some do not like beauty because it causes them stress. To them beauty has to have a purpose, say more, or beauty laughs at their ugliness. They feel distracted in a bad way and discouraged from every day and other goals. When this describes you, you can remedy it by trying to understand beauty. On some levels, you understand beauty just by describing it, e.g., in poetry and art. The better the poem or artwork is objectively than the better the therapy. For writing trying to write to a plan is better, e.g. a rhyming scheme. In art describing a beautiful landscape, may be creative and make you feel better. 
For example, describe on paper how much smaller the trees in the distance are from those in the foreground. Also, how you would paint the slope of a field. Alternatively, think how you would paint the structure of a real tree even when your work is semi-abstract. All this helps you understand what you see. Also, art is paint on a two dimensional surface so this is not reality. You are changing it even when you think you are directly copying it. Describing or copying it, it loses its power to worry you. However, you have to paint with the idea in your head you are copying or understanding beauty. And not just paint any old picture. 
Beauty does have a psychological and biological basis. Healthy plants, animals and people are beautiful because they are more fertile. Well-ordered objects are more hygienic and you can find them. Alternatively, this may reflect a healthy symmetrical face. However, knowing beauty does have a psychological and biological basis may not be enough for you. When it is not write and paint. However, do it well and show your work to others for their appreciation. Appreciating beauty is relaxing, good for health and makes you feel good. It is never wasted time.
To make a plan to improve social skills may take some work or you can build on things you’ve done by coincidence already.
For better social skills have:-
Stock subjects to talk about, e.g. art, lit, last week’s TV, today’s newspaper, a subject you’ve studied when this if of general interest.
Party pieces, e.g. the benefits you got from a video recorder to watch all your favourite TV, research you’ve done, your experience of dieting, or keep fit, your work if you have an interesting job.
Social games and activities, e.g. cards, chess, art galleries, museums, cinemas, parks, and the seaside.
Therefore, this list shows a number of ways to improve your social skills.
Personal priorities are priorities you may have in your personal life, e.g. for how you use your spare time. They are different from priorities you might have at work for getting tasks done. This is because you may decide what to do to start with. 
Socialising is a human need you have to do. However, you can improve your social skills to improve the time you spend socialising. Also, you don’t need to socialise as much as you might do to fulfil this basic need. And you could transfer time socialising directly to other goals. TV will give you more conversation than books as everyone watches TV and it is easier to remember than writing. However, you may get things from books you can’t from TV. It is not possible to concentrate on reading for more than an hour at a time and you can only read for pleasure a few hours a day. However, you can concentrate on TV for longer, perhaps all day. Therefore, TV is a priority but you read also.
Exercise is a more standard task however. You can drop everything and go to the gym.
Try these things, prioritising exercise first, watching TV more and reading for a few hours a day, and improving social skills and not chatting aimlessly all day. Don’t however, when you find you have more time on your hands start a project that is not a goal to fill the empty hours, e.g. learning a musical instrument or computer software, or recreational study. Take a nap, or have a relaxing bath when you feel bored. And try to increase the amount you do of your goals over time. When you feel you can’t concentrate and remember things make notes of your hobbies. Personal priorities are different from task-orientated priorities generally.
Talking about morals is unattractive. And morals are not fashionable and for good reason because the area is so fraught with misunderstanding. It may be worthwhile however, for a few minutes only, to talk about morals and goal setting. We do this on the understanding we are not going to stand on a soapbox and talk about it. However, we are saying it for the sake of something that can then be taken as read. Morals can sometimes get in the way of improving social skills and making friends. E.g., you will lose friends if you moralise to them. Alternatively, morals can help you lead a better life and make more friends. E.g. if having some morals makes you a nicer person to know then you can make friends. They can also lead to you keeping more active, and doing more exercise if you see a fit body and mind is a moral decision you can make for yourself. Talking about your moral framework is unattractive even if others agree with it. It sounds odd. And it is as though you might not mean it as soon as you have any excuse not to do it. It is best shown rather than said. Alternatively, not discussed or tried to hard to be shown. However, morals can help you live a happier life and not the often-quoted reverse of an unhappy life. 
For example, kindness is often rewarded. When someone is always kind to everyone it is generally rewarded with others thinking well of them. Some say you are not rewarded. Most do not remember a kindness. Others actively resent it. And the kind of person who might need a kindness will never amount to anything and be able to pay it back. And you are at best being selfish because you want to be rewarded and others realise this. However, it is also true that others are resentful towards someone selfish. And unhappiness they cause others is repaid to them in kind. You have to find a balance. Some say it always pays to be kind no matter what the circumstances. Others you have to have something for yourself as well. You want to be rewarded for kindness sooner rather than later. Indeed, there is no reason why you would not be rewarded in good feeling almost immediately. However, some remember previous unkindness so the best results are on someone who doesn’t already know you. You can however, try it out and see if it works. By finding a balance, some say it is all right to be kind to only your friends and polite to everyone. Almost certainly, you will find you are not liked, and have few friends if you are rude to anyone. Some will tell others you have been rude to them. And expect them to renounce their friendship or whatever it is, they do expect. Some say do not be kind to someone who has been rude to you either. They do not like you and do not appreciate you trying to help them. Nor do they like you helping if you do so afterwards. And do resent it. When you have been rude to others, someone may not like you liking them. Or think that you are able to offer anyone anything. Alternatively, want what you have to offer, if anything. Being liked others do things for you, tell you things you might like to know, and help you. This all saves a lot of time.
Friendships. They say anyone is good to his friends and family and you should be good to everybody. However, really, friends and family are a good start. And you do not need to be good to anyone else. The saying is ‘charity begins at home’. Even if you genuinely could be charitable to others, you do not want to neglect your own friends and family. Here the greatest rewards lie. And you may not be able to be genuinely charitable to anyone else. This also saves you a lot of worry trying to do something that is hard. You may be more generous to your friends knowing you are helping your friends but not everyone. Therefore, in fact help someone better who you can help. 
It is not all about helping. In addition, it is not all about helping your friends either. Most friends do not need any kind of help. And they do not want advice from you, if they do want advice from anyone. Knowing this can save you a lot of time giving well-meaning but rejected advice and even losing friends who would prefer to chat about nice things and not their worries. Also, for most kinds of help, they can get it free, professionally or pay for professional advice. Or some may get the advice they need for the cost of a cheap book. What is better is to be a friend someone can have fun with. And they like someone who talks about art and lit, and the TV. And they dislike someone who talks about their personal problems to their friends. Problems their friends cannot solve. And which may in fact be health problems only a doctor can help them with. 
When someone has a problem like yours, it might be all they need to hear is that others also had the same problem. And that they succeeded in helping themselves even if it was only because they followed the kind of advice you already may have been given as well. However, they appreciate hearing someone in their own words describe their experiences. And they might want to get a few extra ideas. Such as, someone they know saying they went cycling to keep fit. And lost weight and kept the weight off. They can then think they can do the same or some other exercise and lose weight. They may be more motivated by meeting someone with the same problems. This may be all anyone can do for so many problems that are really about things they need professional advice for. Moreover, it takes a few minutes to give anyone the benefits of your experience. Most cannot follow long pieces of advice, for more than a minute or two, so do not give such advice. Saying the same thing happened to you may be all the advice you can give.
Help yourself first if you want to help anyone. This will save you a tremendous amount of time not worrying about others who are the best persons to help themselves. Then if you do help yourself you might really be in a position to help others. You cannot go to the shops for someone who is housebound if it is too much effort for you also. The same is true for anything mental, such as understanding others. To help someone is hard and often they have to ask for advice. And often you have to be a professional before they will ask you for it. That leaves little room for others to give advice. And unless you are a professional, you do not know what advice to give or what will help. However, someone does often know what advice he or she wants for himself or herself. Moreover, they can find it on the internet, from professionals, their family and talk to friends they think have the same experiences as them about it. That might leave out a lot of friends and acquaintances they do not think can help. And they may talk endlessly about their problems to friends without them improving. Their friends often think it a waste of time even when they wanted to help to begin with.
The best friend you can be is often just a friend to chat to about the TV. The TV is about what is happening in the real world, and about real problems that affect everyone. And real lives, feelings, and emotions. You get these with history, science, art and drama. And nothing works better than to bring some reality into your friends’ lives, and distract them from their own problems. And to have discussed what goes on in the world of politics, science, and art makes anyone feel better. They remember these discussions, if not all what was said. And this will save time as it benefits you also to talk generally. Ultimately, someone only wants to have no worries. And it was often the bad times when they had them. And they remember more fondly the good times. 
And perhaps do not appreciate well-meaning advice that did not work. That is a reason not to thank anyone who was only trying to help him or her but making it worse. If the advice worked, they might indeed be grateful. Have you thought if any advice you give does work? It might not. In addition, it might not be worth giving unless you also want to talk about the subject.
Try to remember some basic rules about friendships that work for you. It may help if you want to make friends. Some do not want to know someone who is unhappy. Doing what makes you happy works for making friends. You may have few friends if you are in ill health. Alternatively, you do not understand others such as sharing a hobby you can talk about. Being good to your friends is something everyone can do and is an excellent start. You may not feel relaxed trying to help everyone and for good reason. To be good to your friends it is enough to talk about the TV. You may not be able to help anyone at all with his or her problems. And some may not ask you for advice even if you are their friend. They may want to talk about their problems but be better off talking about something else. 
Some remember normal conversations, when they did not only discuss their problems, with fond memories. And feel the time they had problems and talked about them was a waste unless they got advice that worked. And much advice does not work. So do not bother giving it. And get what you want from your friendships, such as talking about things around you, that are real and about art, lit and the TV. This is interesting and more important. It is not just about you but feelings for others and things that are going on around you and in the wider world. Such as art exhibitions, new books and TV, and reviewing timeless classics. And friendships are formed talking about it. When your time management goal is to make friends then talking about the TV and the latest novel, you have achieved your goal.
Remember you have to help yourself before you can help others. Alternatively, just help yourself without trying to help others. You can help others without trying. And help yourself by being selfish when, you are only doing something beneficial to everyone. E.g. if it is beneficial to you and your friends to be a little selfish if that is how you think of it, when what you want from your friendships is to talk about art and lit, then talk about these and do these. What anyone wants is to be able to go out and talk about the TV, books, and magazines they have read and to people they know have read them also.
Talking about politics is poor social skills, almost definitely. If you worry about politics so you talk about it, then the only solution may be to get an education about politics and political change. A book about ideas that have shaped history or one on political ideology is a good start. And maybe they are the only books you need. When you know about the political system, you may not read newspapers. Alternatively, watch TV news. You may have read newspapers only to learn more. And you may read and watch TV to get a general knowledge. Once you know about it, there’s no reason to talk about it. You’ll find others already know anything you might say. And if they don’t then they won’t understand very well your explanations. When you give detailed explanations, they may shun you. And think you have said something odd or perverse. Even when you understood less, they might have accepted it better. If they are interested, then like you, they need to read a book on it. Worry about politics may be just because you are worried generally. Knowing this you may have power talking about it and worrying about it.
Sometimes when you want to help others, you should help yourself first. If everyone helped himself or herself first, then everyone would be happier. In addition, this is open to almost everyone to do this. Everyone could live happy fulfilled lives. All they need to do is take an interest in art and lit and anything else. Also, look after their health. 
You should recognise the importance of the media for everyone’s life. And take advantage of it to improve social skills. This is because you can make choices about what to read and watch. Art and literature can be genuine hobbies. And some other things are really only academic subjects. You can learn to talk about art and literature. It is about feelings. Feelings could also be psychology, social science, or what anyone thinks of political issues but this is not generally, what anyone thinks of as feelings. 
Talking about others is gossip and for small people. Talking about events is what average people do. And the highest level is if you talk about ideas. Ideas are universal and some of them date back in time centuries. Therefore, it is not something personal. To be liked, talk about hobbies and interests. And do not talk about work, politics, gossip, or mundane things. Some only really want to be entertained by thought and not much else.
When you have friends, you have to develop a relationship to keep your friendships. Also, avoid some things also. The best way to develop your relationship is to take an interest in things they mention. In addition to things, you may also already have in common. Allocate time and do activities that you can talk about when you meet. For example, a genre of films or fiction they watch or read, going to the cinema if they do, or reading the same magazines. However, you may talk about things that are not sustainable and eventually exasperate friends. 
Conversation does not have to be a memory test. Something recent is best every time. Everyone can remember more, and finds it more interesting and exciting. Keep doing things for your friends, and not because you are worried. Distracting yourself works for worries. Therefore, it is win-win. Understanding the media, you feel less bored and find the book or TV show you want. 
It may help to make notes on the movies you have on DVD, or set top box recorder. And a notebook of what you’ve watched and read. To see what you have in your collection/have watched, e.g. when you have a lot of something or a little. This suggests what you want to watch next. For example, when someone did this, he found he had very little TV about art and many movies. From this, he read more art books to find out about art. And watched again the TV art docs he did have, as there were so few he could watch them easily. Also, he realised he liked a really decent film with modern references, e.g. to the internet etc., and not any old film so bought some of the latest DVD's and went back to the cinema.
With his Books Read notebook he found he had read about 1/3 art, 1/3 novels and poetry, and 1/3 health. The figure for health seemed high compared to what he could remember reading. But on reflection, he needed all the help he could get and got even more of these books. His figures for art and lit were about even. However, English Lit was higher than he remembered reading. But it was about right to divide his time between the two hobbies evenly. And he was pleased he had read so much English lit and not only art books. He had thought he had read other books, e.g. on science, but had read hardly any. Both art and lit were subjects he had read in the past and was rereading. Now, he thought about seriously taking up a science subject to do something new.
The effect of these analyses was that he found more to read and watch. Also, he was more motivated to do activities because he had found more interesting TV and books. And he had some direction to his reading and TV viewing. Before he had been bored but now is always interested in something. 
Categorising your DVD, video, or book collection is a useful way to see how you spend your time on media. And whether you should do more or less or try something different. It is motivating and you can change your activities for the better. You learn new things, alleviate boredom and improve social skills.
Switch on the TV, as it’s interesting. When you have problems with your social skills, are bored and listless and when you waste time writing your diary and making notes, planning, surfing the web, channel hopping, or always have music on then switch on the TV and watch something decent. It’s interesting, makes you less bored and improves social skills. For example, say if it were coming up to the early evening and you’ve been out shopping, at appointments or socialising. And have done no activities such as reading and watching TV. Then stop messing around with something and watch a few hours TV before bed. If you have something else to do then you can do it another day. Also, you can do things you’ve forgotten such as clean or put things away during the breaks. Alternatively, when you have watched enough you are content, and want to take a break, then do so. And something you have to do might only take a few minutes if you were relaxed, e.g., if you had had something decent to occupy your thoughts. If you try to make it a regular time to watch TV, you may make it a good habit. And find you really want to switch on the TV if you haven’t already done it already. This is a good habit to get into that will mean you always catch some TV and have things to say. You will be able to work out what this time is for you to switch TV on by how you feel about your day and the activities you want to do. And how much you feel is necessary for the social skills you want to get. Also, try watching earlier on in the day by switching on the TV, DVD or set top box recorder. 
Also, you could try reading. Get started by saying that you’ll read a chapter of a book but not the whole book. That you have a few hours and that is enough to read the whole book. Particularly, you can read faster if you have reading skills. You may have reading skills such as skimming and skipping. Or you can concentrate better by making notes. Alternatively, try anything else that works for you. It may be only that you need reading skills. 
Both read and watch TV. Reading on its own may be hard to do when you want to watch TV and you are de-motivated to read when your friends talk about TV.
To get good habits repeat to yourself the good habits you want to get. There is no better habit then that you always catch a decent film or TV show. However, it could be something else such as reading for an hour a day.
When someone is bored they can’t start doing something, go back to bed and can waste their whole day. Some say going back to bed is the best policy as at least nothing bad can happen when you’re in bed. You might have inane, pointless or rude conversations because you’re bored. You can also do activities that you feel should be done but aren’t necessary when you’re bored. Such as making notes you don’t need because you’re distracted. And do activities that appear urgent but are not. Boredom may be caused by tiredness and explain such mistaken behaviours. 
Not to be able to start something may be a very difficult problem to solve. When someone does try to do something he may find he’s too tired to read more than a page or to follow the plot of a film. And want to lie down and rest. Tiredness and boredom is often only physical from poor diet, lack of sleep, stress, and poor physical health, and lack of exercise and poor hygiene. When you are tired, you concentrate less well and cannot do as much physical activities as when you are not tired. And you can’t do much to overcome this except get rest and do things when you are less tired. Some things you can do something about more easily than others can. And what is easiest to do will vary between people depending on their circumstances. However, when you do what you can and it may make you feel less tired and bored. 
The kinds of things you can do are eat healthily, go to bed earlier; do exercise; lose weight; wash and clean more often and better, and reduce stress. All of these are big subjects on their own as you may be aware. However, you may not have paid much attention to them not thinking they could help you with boredom. 
There is a lot of help out there for boredom. It is not odd or unusual and can’t be helped. It covers many areas but only some of them may help you. Seeing what help you need will save time. E.g. if you eat junk food all the time eating more healthily may be all you need. Boredom is often caused by tiredness, poor diet, and poor health. And is something you do something about by living more healthily and following health advice you have been meaning to all these years. You may feel less bored, and be more active if you do, as well as being healthier.
Making better use of the media improves time management. Improving social skills by doing more that is interesting is possible by making some small but beneficial changes. Sometimes however, you need to have some skills you can use when you are talking and it is not all about having more to talk about. Sometimes you need to have only watched TV for a few days every evening to improve your social skills. And you can discuss things once you have even the tiniest amount to talk about. A tiny amount in some ways is enough to talk about. Such as few evenings doing something like watching TV. And it doesn’t have to be your whole life to talk about. Last night's TV is a lot to talk to anyone about for one conversation. Therefore, here are some ways to discuss things.
How to Discuss Movies. Read reviews in different magazines, newspapers and on TV to get some idea and copy anything you like. Don’t think movies are social history because they’re not because they’re entertainment. Remember they’re may be very little you can say about any particular movie as this paradoxically can help you. Talk about special effects, actors, story, setting/artificial world, what the movie was about, e.g. romance, action in the movie, a scene you liked. A movie only lasts at most a relatively short time. You can watch many movies. Each one has something unique about it. Use the categories above. Movies are particularly good to talk about when you’ve just seen them with someone although you can talk about movies you’ve both seen at some other time. You can’t give away the ending of a film they haven’t seen. And movies are easy to find on DVD and online so they can see any movie you interest them in. Don’t talk too long about a movie or make more of it than it is, as they will think you’re showing off how clever you are and how much you can remember. When someone talks about a movie they are looking for someone to say something to show they have seen it, get to know you, and that you talk normally. And you are an average person they can talk to about things like movies.
How to Discuss Documentaries. Say you liked it, that’s the most important thing. TV has colour, production values, settings, drama, and personalities. And it gets an emotional response. Pay attention when you watch and after try to remember as many facts as possible. Facts can be things you see also as well as hear. Record documentaries and repeat this exercise again of going back over facts in the documentary in your head. And you may try to concentrate better next time. Like books, you may watch the first time to get the gist and get a different reading next time. Remember the impression it made on you including visual scenes. This will help you remember it and enjoy it better. Say what you can see as well as what you can hear. Don’t wax too lyrical as you can’t remember the words used and you can’t get the same emotional reaction as TV. However, think of what you might say that better describes the documentary and doesn’t sound mundane. Talk about the presenter and the interviewees also and the impression they made on you. And the importance of, and experience interviewees brought to what they said. Talk about the documentary not as a book but as an entertaining TV show.
How to Discuss Books. You can talk about books. Talk about parts of books you can remember, although you need to know the whole thing. Talking about one chapter or one topic, you don’t lose your audience and can give detail they find interesting. They may already know the subject generally. And you can reread and revise chapters more easily than whole books. Do not do all one type of thing. E.g., read two books on the same thing back to back. When you meet someone, they may not want to discuss them at all. And you may have done nothing else that week. Some subjects worry others, so don’t talk about them. You forget 90% of what you read so you need to reread. Once you have an overview go back and read to some particular theme, e.g. for art books, paintings the artist did. You can even make notes in a notebook but any notes you make are not much use except temporarily often. Even if you had dozens of pages of notes, you couldn’t talk about them on their own. After all how could you talk about a book a dozen or so pages long. Read something you’re interested in and find easy, this is something you’ll find easy to talk about. And not feel stressed you’re pepping up you’re conversation or getting better conversation. Read a bit every day as you can’t read all in one go, as you’ll lose concentration. So reading a bit every day, you read more and remember more. Read books a chapter at a time and read for no longer than an hour at a time. Make notes if this helps you or reread, as you really can’t remember it all in one reading.
Changing what you do is a worry. However, when you are stressed, over poor social skills for example, you want something to change. You think poor social skills are because you do not do enough. Making only a few changes may help whilst not increasing worry. Try not to feel stressed by trying to do more so you can’t cope. E.g., you feel stressed trying to do everything on one day but nothing the rest of the week. Do hobbies and interests every day. This reduces worries. And it works for increasing content. It is like physical exercise. And some things are best done every day. Try not to exclude things you would really like to do. If only because they go against your goals, you’ve set yourself. This is not relaxed. 
It is also more relaxed to do a variety of things. E.g., don’t read only about one subject you have a consuming interest in. Balance social skills against reading all one subject. You may be more relaxed when you can see the benefits. Being more relaxed about goal setting, you increase goals. This is a virtuous circle of doing more goals, and sleeping better. Also, not making plans, talking about worries and worrying. Subjects you worry about may only be temporary. You may find they are when circumstances change. Alternatively, you have read enough and got all the advice you can on a subject and found answers. So now, you can stop worrying. Make a little more time for goals of reading and watching TV. You waste time by writing, poor sleep, breaks and socialising. Remember you can talk about most subjects. However, you can only talk about any subject in the right circumstances. However, hobbies and interests are always good social skills. Rather newspapers or academic subjects are not always good subjects to talk about. However, if you do more activities you will improve your mind and so your social skills. Having a good general knowledge improves social skills. And a good general knowledge makes it easier to find things to read. 
Revise your school and college work. And revise other things you have read at some time also. You feel less relaxed when you try to remember things you have forgotten. Revising is quicker than reading new things, many times quicker. And your revision will give you better social skills. 
And try studying some subjects. Studying may be beneficial when someone has already read out of interest a lot about it already. And having read so much they are getting bored with it. And need some organisation to their studies. And want to remember essentially facts they forget. Therefore, they can talk about it.
Today, there is more media than ever. And you may read enough to reduce your worries. Different media are such as TV, magazines, books and the internet. You may find all you want.
Some talk only about the TV they saw last night. Watching TV can give you conversation for anyone you meet also. It is topical and recent and everyone likes to talk about it. Also, it is not long-term. Watching TV is more relaxed. Watching TV, you remember 5 times more than reading and 2 ½ times more than listening. Remembering is part of social skills. And anything that makes it easier has benefits to social skills. And remembering helps you manage your time better. Watch more TV rather than reading. The TV often covers the same topic better. 
Not being relaxed you waste time writing, planning, and problem solving. And have late nights and sleep poorly. Poor social skills are stressful as is any goal setting. A balance has to be found that should reduce stress of goal setting and give you good social skills. The least stressful option is to prioritise. Therefore, you can do something more if you do something else less. 
Stress can cause poor relationships. The way to have better relationships is to be more attractive towards women. Therefore, women want you as a friend, date or long-term partner. Everyone would like to be more attractive. You can be more attractive if you improve your social skills and are more relaxed. 
Also, you should budget better. Therefore, you can afford a more decent home and furniture. Also, you want money to go out, and for the latest novels, magazines and movies. Also, you will need to budget for clothes. And you need money to pay for the gym. And live well.
Smell is a major thing women says they find off-putting. You really need to change this if you have a problem with it. When you have a problem with body odour, you need to wash and use deodorant. However, even when someone improves their personal hygiene their problems are not over. However, it is an essential start. Worry is also poor hygiene as it makes someone sweat. And worry distracts their attention so they do not wash and clean. 
Anxiety, worry and being stressed are very unattractive to women. Talking about worry is unattractive as much as appearing worried is. 
Friends not wanting to see you, you have wasted your time. As you have to find new friendships. As well as it being disappointing. Therefore, you can see that poor social skills are also poor time management, as you have to spend time finding new friends. And talking poorly you might not say what you wanted to say. 
Many only talk about something because they worry about it. Things they read about may only be because it worried them at some time. E.g., a technophobe who learns a lot about computers to conquer his fear may recycle some of what he learned in conversation. Though he knows a lot about computers to talk about, women can still tell he was anxious about computers and probably still is and do not like it. Also, they do not want someone talking about something like that. They do not like someone talking about something that makes him or her anxious. Even when someone thinks, they have less anxiety about it now.
Good social skills reduce stress and less stress causes good social skills in a virtuous circle. As well as not having worries, not talking about worries may improve social skills. When worries are important to you and on your mind they still cause poor social skills to talk about them. If you find yourself talking about them try saying ‘let’s change the subject’ or some such similar phrase. Worry also takes up all your time. And you have no time for watching TV or reading books. You may talk about worries because you have done nothing else to talk about. Nothing you can change the subject to. Talking about worry, you talk more generally. And this wastes time. Time you waste you can directly transfer to goals if you did not waste it. Worry wastes time thinking about worries, managing your time poorly, and talking about it. 
Stress, worry, anxiety, or anger. They are all the same thing, whatever you want to call them. And they are one cause if not the only cause of many illnesses. And medical researchers are finding more illnesses where stress is a factor all the time. Reducing stress improves health. Better social skills reduce stress and less stress improves social skills. It is a virtuous circle. Women as we have said are attracted to you when you are more relaxed and carefree. 
Some of the media may make you worried. E.g., novels may worry some. Reading should be a pleasure. For some, reading may have the opposite effect. Perhaps, they are caught up in the story. And do not realise there will be a successful resolution to the plot. 
Another reason someone might be stressed is that they read before meeting others trying to pep up their conversation. Studying instead would be less stressful, improve their mind and give them social skills. Reading to plan for conversation is stressful. You can only make small improvements in-between meeting others. Trying bit by bit to understand people better may work better. Watching TV, you have something up-to-date to start the conversation off with. And this is better than a book others may not have read. When you really have nothing but what you have read the day before to talk about you cannot expect friendships. 
As paper is unhygienic, wash your hands after reading and do not scratch. Also, do not read in bed because this is also unhygienic. The same for computer keyboards when reading on the internet. You can buy a cloth to clean them and book covers.
Reading can reduce worries. Worries characters have in novels are resolved in some way. In your life, not knowing how worries will be resolved may be the biggest cause of worry. Knowing that things can work out somehow reduces worry. Novels give you this. They should reduce, not increase worries. If you find reading stressful for other reasons such as you are bored with the subject, or have read a pernicious analysis that discouraged you then try something new, such as a different genre of fiction. Ask your friends what they read and watch on TV. Otherwise, look along the shelves and try something new on your own. This may help you stop worrying.
You can save time and effort by choosing goals better. E.g., it is quicker for you to improve social skills if you do more of the type of goals that will give good social skills. Also, you can improve your social skills enormously by social skills techniques. Such as you only use when talking to someone in person and which aren’t reading or writing skills. To have better social skills saves time talking poorly. To reach social skills goals quicker take advice from published sources rather than trying to do it all on your own. 
Improve your social skills and reading skills so you can get advice. 
Misguided ideas about topics of conversation you might enjoy reduce your social skills. And you waste time not doing goals others would be interested in. 
For example, you can be serious and sexy. Sometimes someone gives the advice to be fun to be with to someone who wants to make friends. However, some worry they are not fun to be with. Even when they know, being fun is something others like. They equate ‘fun’ with making jokes, drinking heavily, or playing the fool. And do not see how they might do it. Also, to them serious is the opposite of fun. It means they read too much, only watch TV that makes them think, and enjoy serious films. They think that others do not share these interests and will not like them for it. However, many do have these interests. Sometimes they feel they are not serious enough. And should worry about politics, campaign for change, or read a broadsheet newspaper. These things will not make you friends. However, you can be fun and serious. You could read more, and watch all the serious TV you want, without feeling you are odd. Alternatively, that you are doing anything wrong by taking so much time on these enjoyable activities. What makes someone fun to be with is someone who is pleasant and can be quiet. Also, someone who is interested in what the other person has to say. And who doesn’t talk about boring or contentious things but about interesting things. Do more hobbies and interests. And do not worry that others do not do them or appear not to. They do. The ‘serious’ person is not serious all the time and 'fun' people are sometimes serious. Almost everyone wants both fun and seriousness. However, some really do not want to talk about bad news.
Think what achievements and talents you have when you say things. This saves you time because you can recycle things you have done. Things that you really know about and can talk about. And don’t waste yours and others time talking about things you don’t know about. Or are fantasies you would like to be true. At school, some children are taught they can achieve any ambition. These ambitions are suggested without saying how they should do it. In some ways these things are merely held up as being desirable without saying you may never have them yourself. And no other reason is given as to why they would be desirable if you didn’t want them for yourself. It causes a lot of unhappiness when you are older and you realise you will not achieve them. You think you have been conned out of many years of your life. Everyone should know what he or she has to do to achieve his or her ambitions. Someone may say odd things that others can see are odd but they say nothing. It ruins your social skills when you have ambitions others can see are unrealistic. Or it is as though you entertain fantasies. Think more clearly, what your achievements and remaining ambitions are. In addition, what achievements you can talk about or around. Alternatively, if not achievements then only hobbies you can talk about. You may be more focused in how you use your time. You may do more hobbies, for example, when you do not have fantasies. Such as you have something else going for you that others will be interested in.
You may worry about women and this gives you poor social skills women notice. The best way to improve your social skills, if you worry about women, is not to worry about them. Read all you can about women, sex, and relationships. For example, sex surveys.
This is someone’s experience of sex surveys. He says:- 
“Like, I suppose, many others, I have bought a newspaper or magazine for a sex survey it had inside. I wanted to know more about sex. Why was I not having as much sex as I wanted? Were others doing it more than me? What were they doing that I was missing? What I found from looking up sex surveys is that others do have sex the same as me. However, with some variation in how they do it. Yes, some have done things like have adulterous affairs and some haven’t. Some have gone to prostitutes and some haven’t. Some have never had sex. Some have had three in a bed. Some have more sex, and some have less sex. The percentage is not important. And the percentage may vary quite a bit. The figure may be within a few per cent or much more or less. It would make little difference. It still means some or perhaps most have sex. And do all the things they ask questions about.”
A technique that works well in all social situations is to look to see if the person you are talking to is interested. And do not talk to them if they are not. It means you do not waste time on someone who is not interested. And can spend time on those who are. Body language can tell you whether someone is interested in what you are saying. They may be bored, cannot follow what you are saying, or they do not want to talk to you any more. What you would like to do is to talk well about all kinds of things. However, you find afterwards that you feel bad about the conversation because you have bent someone’s ear about something or other. You may have a better conversation because the other person was interested in what you had to say. They responded genuinely and were interested. The way to tell if someone is not interested is if they don’t make eye contact. Also, if they look away for extended periods, lean back all the time or cross their arms. Do not feel you have to talk to fill uncomfortable silences. On the other hand, you feel they have not understood something you said. Something you need to explain more. Knowing when someone is not interested you may find you do not have poor conversations any more. This is because you stop talking when someone is not interested. And they may never really like you or be interested in you, unless they were tired the first time but didn’t say so. Many other social skills are worthless if someone does not want to talk to you. You may feel someone like this is a false friend. Alternatively, they are deliberately trying to make you look bad. It may be because they do not like you. On the other hand, because they are not interested in what you are saying. 
Sometimes good friends or girlfriends show this body language also. Or do not talk back. It may be you think they must like you when they do not have to see you. And why would they have sex with you if they didn’t like you, particularly if you’re male and they’re female. Really, they must like you and are giving you everything as though they did at least. And they don’t have to see you. They don’t have to take hours of their time every week to see you for no reason. If they were just laughing at your social ineptness, wouldn’t they have had enough by now? And nobody is interested in someone’s conversation they don’t like even if they don’t have to make an effort. Most conversation if you say nothing back is boring. They may just be bored or not like the topic, or want to do something else. The advice ‘take some cards with you for when they don’t want to talk’ may be good advice.
The route to happiness is to talk about your hobbies and interests, and nothing else. Talking about your hobbies gives pleasure, and makes you friends. And you lose friends, and bore others, if you talk about almost anything else. You may save many hours not boring someone talking about other subjects.
Reasons not to talk about other things other than your hobbies:-
Yours or your friend’s family and friends – you might not like their friends if you met them and they are not your family.
Yours or their health – you are not any kind of doctor or nurse.
Religion – it is contentious often.
Politics – leads to arguments and bad feeling.
Work – you or they may be unemployed. Either yours or their work may be confidential. You may not understand their work unless you also have the same qualification. 
Sex – it can be too personal.
Your studies – you can talk about your studies to other students studying the same thing when you find it useful for learning. However, you are not trying to educate anyone, and some will not understand what you have said. 
Reasons to do only hobbies and interests, and no other activities:-
Decide if you want to study to get a job. You need a qualification to show an employer. Recreational study won’t get you a job. 
Don’t use powerful word processors and spreadsheet software intended for business use for home use. Unless you already know how to use it, you will waste time trying to cope with it.
Some of the things you do now can cause worry. You will lose friends talking about things that worry you.
You remember more of what you see and hear, e.g. watching TV (50%) compared to reading (10%). So watch TV. Also, everyone can talk about it. 
Watch TV with friends or play cards as you are socialising and doing other goals at the same time.
Every hour spent on your hobbies is worthwhile and improves social skills.
To improve social skills you have techniques as well as ‘content’ from things you have done. 
Good social skills improve time use. You’ll find time spent chatting more useful to improving friendships if your social skills are good. Improved relationships are a better use of your time. And you are not stressed by poor social skills. Therefore, you don’t spend time worrying when you go home after you have finished talking about the conversations you had.
Here are some more pointers about how to speak about normal things in a normal way. This also saves time if you realise how normal they are.
One way to improve social skills other than being able to talk about books or TV is to have something you can say you do. Alternatively, something about you, so others can easily describe you. Either so they can describe you to their other friends or so they can think good things about you themselves. 
Perhaps you should take up something like art and be an artist. Anyone can be an artist. Art is neutral and breaks down barriers between people. You don’t need to develop great skill as an artist. You can read about it and try your hand at something easy. Just for the sake of saying, you have done some art.
Talking about art and literature you can understand anyone because they want to talk to you. Also, you can see their lives having started a conversation. And you make more friends. This is because your other friends talk about you to someone else they know who might want to meet you. And talking to others is important for many things. It also reduces stress. 
Having more than one perspective on life whether it’s the news, art, English lit, science, technology, business, or maths and statistics, they all increase understanding of others. It reduces boredom and improves social skills as well. Also, it is easier to read widely than study one subject. 
The secret to everything is to be curious. Some say you need to understand a lot about the world, everyone does, for everyone to function in society and society itself to exist. That doesn’t seem to explain how someone can only watch the TV, never read and have no worries. They do not need lessons about how technology works to understand what a computer is. It seems that everyone already knows roughly about computers from what they’ve seen on TV. Why is this when so many read copious amounts to understand better the society they live in? They feel they can’t cope without a newspaper, or without being able to read about so many things that others read nothing about. They want to know about today’s leaders, technology, social problems, business, and history, science, literature, and art. Some of this may be on TV but they think they cannot get nearly enough from the TV to satisfy their curiosity. The reason may be psychological. Alternatively, the reason may be poor physical health and unhealthy lifestyle. Perhaps, they do not watch much TV or they would have seen all these things at some time. You may have this need only because you have forgotten things you used to know. And a few things only perhaps you never knew. Anyone else, however little they read or mainly watch TV, has a world view that works for them and reduces stress. An understanding they got as children. And they watch the rest on TV. The occasional documentaries you may have seen about computers, science, artists, and other subjects they have seen and are all they need to understand anything they might hear that is new. 
Some say a lot of learning is only because you need it for work. However, some of this is of general interest. Someone may indeed only be reading to improve their general knowledge, because they know someone who’s studied something to occupy their time. 
If someone has a high level of education, they may read books in preference to TV. Someone watches TV because they have a low level of education. They prefer to do this because they find it easier and more beneficial. And this is vice versa for book readers. It is a matter of what gives you enjoyment for the education you have had. Book readers prefer books as TV is not entertaining enough and they know it all already. 
Getting a good education is not because your school had a good reputation or was in a middle-class area but because of what education was genuinely on offer. Someone who is well-educated and reads books may want to meet others sometimes with his same level of education to talk to who share some of his interests. Or he uses this knowledge at work. But everyone knows how society works regardless of their level of education. Nobody normally needs to read to live and cope in society unless he has some psychological or other reason. Alternatively, he feels he wants to educate himself. On the other hand, is more curious then what he gets on TV about something he would like to read more about, e.g. when his education fell between these two poles.
It might seem that all society works at the lowest common denominator of what everyone knows. And anything else is wasted. And there is no reason, except for pepping up your conversation if you have some reason your social skills are poor; for work that needs a qualification, and for alleviating worry about society if you have to, to know any more. 
Maybe however it is only curiosity. And curiosity is a good thing and something anyone should cultivate. Curiosity is not the same as stress or shouldn’t be. You may just be unfit or have an unhealthy lifestyle if everything stresses you. Any healthy person wants entertainment and to be stimulated. And someone physically fit is often not stressed.
However, some like different things. ‘It takes all kinds to make the world go round’ is saying to remember. And people’s lives generally are enriched by the large amount of media there is. Stop thinking of it as therapy for someone who has something wrong with them, but enjoy it.
SELF – HELP 
Self-help can cause problems even though it is trying to solve them. Some of this worry is thinking that there is a secret of self-help. Moreover, someone wants a secret that they can be told easily and quickly. Then have no further need for more reading, worry, or having to do things. This book gives some ideas that may be seen as secrets of self-help, always thinking that there may be no real secret. Any more than there is a secret to making a table when you have to be a cabinetmaker first. Self-help is probably a lot less difficult. However, what you need is knowledge that you can understand and use. But until they have it, you still have problems. It may help some to peruse these ‘secrets’. Perhaps though this is not what someone wants. They merely want some explanation of what causes their problems. And want to know what solutions are offered. Understanding increases motivation. And understanding motivates you to do activities that can solve your problems. Reading a book that you still have questions about you do not follow the advice it gives.
The ‘secrets’ are broadly, the causes of your problems, and solutions.
Time management stress may be no different from normal stress. And any stress can be too much in total. Stress is distracting and means you can’t think properly about problems. Many plans that someone might make are really things he has to remember. Things he has to do himself only. They don’t involve any real planning or organisation that some would think of as planning, e.g. in business from where a lot of planning ideas come. Many things someone writes down are things he thinks he thought of by himself. However, they may be things that they have instead heard from others at some time but forgotten where they heard them. And they could read more of this advice in self-help and health books and on the internet. 
Really, someone often only needs Daily Living skills. When he has a set of skills for doing normal things, then it should reduce much of his stress. And this is not as difficult as how to paint a picture if painting was his ambition. Because not everyone needs to paint but everyone needs to keep house and look after their health. Therefore, everything else is helped by living skills. And not having living skills is very stressful if you don’t have them. Painting for example, is a much greater ambition and only some have such an ambition. And they dedicate themselves to it so they understand it. Really, you don’t need it. It is not essential and can cause some stress. And for some, they may be doing it wrong and that is why it is stressful. It is still stressful for others who have taken it up. But perhaps it is a lot less stress when you know how to do something. At least then, you have one reason to have a clear idea of why you want to do it. And being motivated and not having mixed feelings is another reason an ambition may be less stressful. 
This chapter also gives other secrets of self-help that may help with time management. All self-help is to some extent about how to use your time. As everything you do takes time. Moreover, anything you do can be the subject of plans. Make these plans easier by reading this chapter.
There are ten ideas in this book:-
The reason you can’t manage your time better is that you use a computer at home too much
Take a break, relax and think through your problems
Try to change yourself today
Ten more secrets
Stress is your problem managing your time well
Self-help, what really works?
You may not accept advice that would help you and that causes your problems
You don’t understand why you worry all the time. Often you worry about nothing. And that worry affects some more than others. Also, you should know you could get help.
The value of quotations, notes and revision
Be motivated not to worry. Make changes without making yourself worried. Worrying about changing your life and about self-help will kill you as much as any worry.
This chapter on self-help presents ten ideas about self-help.
REASON 1. THE REASON YOU CAN’T MANAGE YOUR TIME BETTER IS THAT YOU USE A COMPUTER AT HOME TOO MUCH.
You may spend many hours learning the software, typing, using word processors and spreadsheets. This takes time, and stops you doing other things. Using a computer at home may be why you have no time. 
Let us review some examples of how you might use a computer at home:-
Writing a novel. The only thing you might be able to think of doing on your computer is writing a novel. Writing a novel can take a long time. It can take up to a year. And even if your novel is published, it may only be read by a handful of readers.
Doing amateur research. Again, you are unlikely to find a publisher or readers. In addition, some amateur research has a reputation for being made up as a joke. Even professional researchers make up their findings. And there are checks on them but not amateurs.
Your budget. You are doing your budget on a computer at home. Spreadsheets have the advantage of instantly calculating figures you type in. This is better than using a pocket calculator. Find out how to budget from published sources if you want to budget better. You need more than a computer.
Do you make notes about your life? You are unlikely to find a publisher for these notes, though that may be your hope one day. Try showing them to someone you know. Even when you show them to a friend, they may not want to read it. Alternatively, flick through a sheaf of notes in a few minutes.
You do not have to use computers and can do other things, when computers have a downside.
You want a dynamic career, to date as many women as possible, and an outlet for your energies. You are going the wrong way learning computers. 
Reading the latest novels and seeing the latest movie is the best way to get a girlfriend. Also, watching TV will mean you can chat to anyone.
Computers are carcinogenic, cause backache, eye strain, and harm your hands. Getting ill will get you nowhere. Computers also attract dust. In addition, have radiation from the VDU. When your computer at home is against the wall, it is bad for your eyes. Computers may be the cause of your problems. Do not overuse them is standard advice. However, when they are so useful, you want to use them. They also take time to learn and to get used to. A computer at home takes up space, costs money and probably will not get you the job of your dreams. Nor achieve goals such as health, social skills, and making friends.
An exercise you can try, is to think well of computers. You might not really like computers and this causes your problems. You may not personally like computers despite thinking such as ‘computers are the future’ etc.
Think well of computers. This is someone’s experience
“I have used a computer for some time. A while ago, I began to see it as a problem because it took so much of my time. I had other things I would have liked to do. Nevertheless, I never got round to them. Also, it caused poor health. To try to make more time I tried learning about computers to understand them better. At one time, I thought a computer could become an indispensable help rather than a worry. However, I doubted I could get all the benefits and not have the disadvantages as well. E.g. avoid health issues, and not waste time. And whether the computer really gave me what I wanted.” 
Thinking well about your computer is important to making better use of it. Try it as an experiment. And see if at the end of the experiment, you still want to use a computer for the same things or it gives you other ideas.
You don’t need a computer at home. You can do without it. The reason you can’t manage your time better is that you use a computer at home too much.
REASON 2. TAKE A BREAK, RELAX AND THINK THROUGH YOUR PROBLEMS
Some say ‘write it all down’. However, sometimes it is better to relax, look out the window and think through your problems. 
Think of what you know already for a few minutes in your head before you write anything down. And what more you can look up. This can find you solutions quicker because it encourages you to find what others have already written. Writing anything takes time. When you are not able to find what you want, think that the internet is getting better. However, you may need to read a book to get the answers you want rather than the internet. And until you find an answer don’t let it worry you. Not writing it down, you don’t have to worry about someone seeing what you’ve written. Nor being embarrassed by something you said. Alternatively, getting health problems from handwriting or typing. Moreover, not writing things down will save you time, as writing is slower than thinking. Thinking is completely healthy. Writing or recording things is not.
You may find you worry about some things only. When you think of these, you should take a break and think through some problems that often concern you. Think of solutions sitting in a comfortable chair rather than writing. Solutions may come readily to mind. Things you may have forgotten. Moreover, this is easier to do than write.
REASON 3. TRY TO CHANGE YOURSELF TODAY
You may want to change – to be better at something such as painting, playing a musical instrument, or your studies. Alternatively, you want better social skills. Maybe, you want to live a more fulfilled life by listening to your inner-self better. However, you cannot. You endlessly problem-solve, try to make more time and write To Do Lists. You try and so fail. And worry every day.
This all stresses you. When stressed your memory is poorer. You think through your problems less well. You damage your health overusing a computer and handwriting too much. And neglect doing exercise. This causes more stress that you are not keeping healthy. Reducing stress as much as you can in any way you can may improve your life. You will think more clearly about your problems when you to do think of them. And do more without trying. Also, feel better and be healthier. Moreover, have a virtuous circle of worrying less about some things causing less worry about other things.
Some sayings about working towards solutions so you worry less:-
“Chip away at the problem”
“Solve one problem and then go onto the next.”
“Once you’ve solved some of the problems, the problems you’re left with are easier to solve.”
“Be like a sculptor making a statue. The sculptor is not stressed. He takes breaks and is not hurried. This is because if he did worry and hurry the finished statue would not be a work of art. Once you have chipped away, you cannot get it back.”
Therefore, do not get stressed by the process of working on goals. Do not be stressed and you may have both your health and your achievements. Your health is more important than other goals. However, you could have both your goals and your health if you were not stressed.
To expand the artists’ metaphor, once chips have been skilfully worked from the block they are worthless. Only the next problem is important, the next part of the block you are working on. The chips on the floor are of no concern and worry any more. Moreover, you need to be able to concentrate fully on what you are working on now. The block that remains for you to sculpt has work to do on it still and needs you attention.
“Keep chipping away at the old block and you’ll succeed.”
REASON 4. TEN MORE SECRETS.
All your problems are, is that you don’t know how to cope and can learn how.
Poor hygiene is your problem.
You have forgotten or not learned that knowledge is divided up into subjects, and genres.
You have not looked after your physical health. That is why you are not up to coping with stress, work, and can’t make the effort.
You do things you can’t cope with and you needn’t do them.
You feel you need the last few pieces of the jigsaw that you don’t have yet. However, really, you don’t need them.
You can make basic changes that work.
Your parents cause all your problems and you need help with this.
Your problems are all caused by worry about women. And you need to read about sex and relationships. And you can learn to trust and like women.
You know what to do but don’t do it, get a move on.
REASON 5. STRESS IS YOUR PROBLEM MANAGING YOUR TIME WELL. 
You can get help with anxiety and stress. Anxiety and stress is a recognised medical and psychological condition you can get help with. As well as seeing a medical professional, books written by professionals can help you.
Books on anxiety and stress:-
Anxiety Management (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)
Stress Management
Anger management
Psychological texts
Physical health – hygiene, diet, exercise, sleep
Living and other skills, e.g. social skills, budgeting, goal setting, cooking, home computing, creative writing, art, music
An example of how these may work together is:- 
To have good social skills you want to talk about the right things such as creative writing, art, or music. As unless you have something you’ve done to talk about then you have nothing to talk about. And you would like to be able to say something about yourself. Something other than, for example, that you have read something or seen a TV show. However, you are stressed by trying to succeed at these activities. And you may endlessly problem solve using Anxiety Management techniques because you are stressed. Doing these activities and therapy take time and you don’t read anything or watch any TV. Therefore, you get poor social skills as you are behind on the times. And these poor conversations are stressful. But a computer at home may be all your problems. You can’t cope with it. Therefore, you overuse it and this causes more worries such as wasting your time. You use it to plan your life on and do creative work on it. Decent conversations about art and English lit or anything really reduce stress. They are better social skills. However, all you have to talk about are your computer worries, and other worries.
A way out of this is not to do activities that stress you. However, talk about hobbies and interests that are not stressful such as watching TV. At least, they can say about you that you are relaxed.
REASON 6. SELF-HELP, WHAT REALLY WORKS?
A lot of well-meaning advice is given about self-help. Here is one person’s experience of things that helped him. They helped him for a time at least in his circumstances he had when they worked for him. Here is what worked for him. And he has not written about any other ideas that may have never worked for him.
Stay in and read and watch TV, don’t go out and see others. Meeting others is stressful and takes time. Reading all you want reduces stress by achieving learning goals and answering your questions. You cannot read all day so watch TV also. 
Go out when you’ve read and watched something on TV for a while. Therefore, you can now enjoy company.
Early evening baths relax you. You may feel stressed later in the evenings.
Keep your room very clean and tidy. Overdo it a bit, so you know it is clean. 
Wash well in the bath. Not washing well may be your only problem. 
Exercise and have a shower after. Exercise works on its own. However, you need to wash afterwards or you will smell. 
REASON 7. YOU MAY NOT ACCEPT ADVICE THAT WOULD HELP YOU AND THAT CAUSES YOUR PROBLEMS.
The advice that does not work has the effect of making someone think badly about him or herself. Someone says, however, they are saying it for his or her own good. Also, someone may not take the time to listen as much as someone needs. Poor advice givers blame the person for something or other. In addition, they say that their problems were, for example, that they are not nice and do not help. And that they wanted too much and that others had to come first. They said that they were intellectually inadequate for some reason. And they said that it was ‘madness’ to expect anything of themselves. Alternatively, they cannot expect that others would give them anything. Nor want to have them as a friend when they have so many faults. Some of this advice has some truth in it. Nevertheless, the way it is said means someone does not want to listen.
REASON 8. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WORRY ALL THE TIME. OFTEN YOU WORRY ABOUT NOTHING. IN ADDITION, THAT WORRY AFFECTS SOME MORE THAN OTHERS. 
Stress is a cause in 80% of all illnesses. Although you may be predisposed to it, you do not have to have it. For the sake of your health, your only priority should be to reduce it.
You may worry over many things. However, is it really only worry? Don’t these worries make you angry as well? They say don’t dwell on worries but perhaps you’re secretly fuming. You need to stop the anger building up. You feel something is wrong, should be done, you feel helpless, the world is cruel, or you are not being heard. These are worries that make you feel angry also.
Not worrying you can improve your health. Some worry about being a success, making friends, being a better person, and their health. To stop worrying try to eliminate as much stress of any kind as you can from your life. In addition, do as much as you can towards things that you worry about. Such as, try taking more exercise if you worry about your health.
Something that still stresses you may stress you enough to cause other worries and problems. E.g. if you don’t sleep well then you might worry sleep is bad for health but also that you are too tired to do things you want the next day. This is also a worry. Think if anything has caused you stress. For example, someone had reduced many sources of stress. However, he had not thought that his attempts to read more caused him much stress. When he watched TV instead, he felt less stressed. He said to himself that he could remember more of the TV than reading anyway. Your health is a genuine worry when many other worries you have may not be real. Making a plan to improve health can be a bit stressful. However, when this is your only plan then it is less stressful. Doing exercise and being healthy helps reduce stress and is beneficial for the body anyway. Worrying about your future health also causes stress. Doing something to help you right now to improve health reduces worry and works to improve health.
Talking about worries may be a worry in itself. And one that is a worry now, not later. Stopping talking about worries should be a goal because this will reduce stress, sometimes considerably. Worries are a bad subject to talk about because others feel you can’t cope and you are worrying them as well. They may think you need to see a therapist. And not want to hear your problems when they can’t help you. Also, when you say others worry you if that is what some think you are saying, then some may think badly of you when they don’t really know you. And think you are asking them to be in your corner when they don’t really want to be. And talking about worries you don’t talk about pleasant things that help you bond a lot better with friends than worries.
To stop talking about worries solve your own problems. Many new problems are more easily solved by individuals doing what is in each and everyone’s power to do rather than them talking or complaining about them. 
REASON 9. THE VALUE OF QUOTATIONS, NOTES AND REVISION
Quotations from great men and women are supposed to help you when you have your own lesser problems. However, some say that quotes are only for after-dinner speeches. Only when you have fewer worries than you had before do quotations mean anything else. When you worry less, you read more. You have to read more of other things to understand quotations. They have a context of the real world. And this real world is where men and women act to do things because they know about things. The things that men and women do who know about things around them give us our headlines. In addition, as well, they give us many more everyday things.
In some ways when you understand the context better the quotations are superfluous. However, some things they say succinctly and well. Moreover, you may be pleased to see again quotations you had forgotten. 
REASON 10. BE MOTIVATED NOT TO WORRY. MAKE CHANGES WITHOUT MAKING YOURSELF WORRIED. WORRYING ABOUT CHANGING YOUR LIFE AND ABOUT SELF-HELP WILL KILL YOU AS MUCH AS ANY WORRY.
Many self-help books say ‘Don’t worry’. Worry will kill you eventually. And stop you living your life long before. It causes bad illnesses and early death. Find out about these illnesses because this will help motivate you to do something about not getting them. And doing something towards something, you worry less. You may feel that you don’t want to think about it now but if it can be avoided, then find out about it. You may get advice to prevent some illnesses that requires little effort from you and works to prevent them. Moreover, once you know the consequences many things you find difficult now may seem easy. You waste your time in fruitless endeavours, doing things only because you are worried about them. You talk to your friends about your worries when they would rather talk to you about other things. Also, you have not done things to talk about because you did things only because you were worried about them. And spending time worrying you forget about exercise and other important things.
When you want to live the rest of your life as you would like to, reducing stress may be your only goal. Do something about it now for your future. Change now. Do it now. It will be more stressful later to realise you could have changed but did not.
For any problem, think of what is relevant for solving it. Make big changes as these are more likely to succeed than small ones even though it may appear more risky to make such big changes. 
Often for their own planning, all anyone wants is some useful advice on how to cope with personal problems. As personal problems are things others have had, also they can give advice. Make a ‘plan’ that is easy to remember, follow and works. And does not sound like a plan or need admin or planning skills. It should be easy to follow advice that is completely practical.
It is no good someone saying ‘Don’t worry about it, that is my advice’. Because you still worry the same. Self-help books take time to answer some of your questions. Trying to live a healthy, happy life is the most important thing, metric, or goal you can do. Whenever you have a choice to do the healthy or happier options, you should do them. And abandon the heartache of long-term ambitions perhaps.
For example, ‘worry’ may cause more worry and what you want is some way to ‘opt out’ of worry:-
Using a computer is bad for your health because of carcinogens, damage to hands from typing, and radiation from the screen affecting concentration.
Handwriting is bad for your health for your hands, and for concentration because of the movement of the pen in front of your eyes.
Using a desk is bad for your health because there is little air above a desk.
Doing exercise, a balanced diet, and decent sleep is good for your health.
Avoiding stress is good for health.
Using a mobile phone or microwave oven is bad for health, or possibly a wireless computer.
When you know something is bad for your health don’t do it or do it less, and when it is good for your health do more of it, e.g. you really could do more exercise and use your mobile phone less. 
Should you still want the convenience consider alternatives. For example, texting or a loudspeaker on your phone, using a computer less but not eliminating it, using a Dictaphone or speech recognition, sound file or text to speech  – from the other side of the room.
When you want to live a healthy, happy life, make healthy choices. And where you still want the benefits of something that might be unhealthy, reduce the harmful effects. Alternatively, give it up completely.
Writing and a long bath have something in common. They are both therapy, and can be relaxing. Although writing may cause worries still. Also, they are also both stupefying. Above surfaces such as desks and baths, there is very little air. A match held near a flat surface will go out. A long bath and writing at a desk is stupefying because you can’t breathe. However, this may also be how they make you feel better as you forget your problems. 
Someone’s experience of problem solving using paper and pen was that they repeated many long-known, mostly well-known facts and issues. It offered no new solutions except to improve his memory of things he needed to do. And it wasted time because he did not use his word processor correctly, and could have learned from published sources. Diaries, despite what someone thought that they were about deep personal feelings, were often repetitive and mundane. ‘Issues’ were often matters of general knowledge he needed to look up rather than worry about in writing. In addition, perhaps unconsciously because it was a negative experience the diary writer didn’t want to reread his diaries or notes. This was despite thinking that it would really help him with his problems, e.g., to concentrate on the issues, problems and solutions and help remember them. And reconsider them again another time with the help of notes and diaries.
When someone wrote fiction, they were surprised when rereading it many years later how poor it was. This was despite thinking at the time they had written well, something that was full of ideas, humour, and scintillating dialogue. They had also written it for therapy, to get things off their chest, to communicate with others the thoughts in their head so others could understand them and accept them as art. However, it was not really what they thought when they saw it again. Most of the writing was not very good, no better than a diary. In future, it might be better rather than writing, and so wasting paper, worrying about cancer from a computer or damaging hands writing and typing, to have a nice long hot relaxing bath. At least it is relaxing from the hot water, silence, a moment for only you, to think also your own thoughts, and getting clean. Then you would not be just stupefying over a desk. Then have worries about writing, and overusing a computer. And the distant prospect of ever finishing a novel.
So what is the secret of self-help? Have you been reading self-help books for years? And yet you have not succeeded in helping yourself? However, all they’ve done is make you more worried than you were before and no nearer to achieving your goals. All you want to do is be happy and in good health. In addition, you are dying under the weight of advice. This advice should work but it doesn’t. It offers you the hope of everything you dreamed of ever and deals you a blow at the same time.
Do you have cherished ambitions that have made you stressed and which you sometimes think you will never achieve? These ambitions are killing you quite literally. And you think if only you could go some way to achieving them then you would be happy. To be happy you have to do them before you die. And these morbid thoughts make you unhappy. You think of your self-help books whenever you think of these cherished ambitions. They made you think you could achieve anything to start with. Then however unhappy your ambitions made you they encouraged you to continue with them. 
This book explains that for some at least other self-help books don’t work. You have either to give up ambitions or do them properly. It is not all only wanting to achieve something, to be a success and ‘have’ something. You can have something if you are an average person who still has their health, and has many things he or she can do that will make them happy. Such as TV, DVD's, subscription movies channels, cable and satellite TV. Also, books, magazines, and newspapers. And as well, you have cinemas, art galleries, museums, parks, and other attractions. And you can go online. However, you may only want to go online if you feel you still want the internet when you may have had enough of computers already. Computers are probably all right if you follow health advice. Such health advice is taking breaks, not using them for too long and ergonomic desks and chairs, etc. And if you quite poorly follow health advice you may become seriously ill or a cripple or die. And not be able to concentrate. And either if the computer radiation affects your brain temporarily with poor concentration or if you stay on it for hours without a break then brain damage as the radiation seeps deeper may explain you getting personal problems. Not following computer health advice makes using a computer and doing any task on it hard. And using a computer per se may be problematic as there is some radiation.
Anything you want badly you might not get can make you unhappy. And any ambition that is long-term, may end in failure, or is hard to do, can be stressful.
And computers and the type of tasks you do on them can be a lot of learning. And learning is stressful. 
And as well, stress in itself kills you. And stress may be caused by using a computer a lot, or even using a computer at all.
CONCLUSIONS
Now you have read this book, you may say something like:-
‘So all I do is read and watch TV. And I can still keep fit. That’s all I need to do’.
Alternatively, ‘I will get good social skills if I watch the TV all day. Therefore, that’s a big worry solved instantly. In a way, I always knew it but rejected it, out of crassness’.
Alternatively, ‘there’s no problem with worries. I don’t have any. All solved. You’ve just explained to me at length that it really is all right to sit in front of the TV all day. And then take the dog out for a walk’.
Again, ‘Why did I not see it before? I’ve missed out all these years. And I've missed out on nothing’.
To think things like this is not as misguided as you might think. The book does say this somewhat. However, it was not my intention when I started to write the book. However, if that is what you have learned, then that’s all right. And if it makes you happier to do just that then do it. I would wish my book had removed any obstacles for you that stopped you living quite such a happy decent life. A life without ambition you won’t achieve to trouble you. 
Also, if it is not your intention to just watch TV all day after reading this book then you probably know that you have some skills that will help you achieve success. And what success you want you might achieve. And the skills you have you probably learned over years and are ones you have practised many times. When you already have computer skills then you may as well continue using your computers. Many of your worries are over. You may though also need writing skills if you are going to write. Some skills you can learn quicker than others, e.g. if a skill is largely a matter of revision. Alternatively, you have found just the book that tells you everything in the space of one book. Perhaps also, you can ask a friend for something you still don’t understand who also, for example, knows about computers. 
For other readers at the start of a steep learning curve then perhaps you should not have ambitions. There may be many trials and tribulations along the way unless you have the skills to be an organised learner. And you may fail to learn less stressfully because you run into problems through no fault of your own or unfortunate circumstances that may befall any project.  Some may do classes but these classes can go on for years and not teach you all the skills you need. And they may teach some irrelevant skills as they are intended to give a qualification to show an employer. The best creative courses, that teach the most, are at degree level, take years to do, and don’t guarantee you will be a good writer, or anything else. Nor even if you are a good writer do they guarantee critical or commercial success. If you tried, it would probably take you years of toil but you may still get your 15 minutes of fame, or achieve any ambitions. You could do classes for years, have had the best teachers, and still not succeed. However, you may feel there is nothing more to do in life than go to classes and more classes. And you may like classes, meeting other students and talking about stuff and being creative for a bit, even if you are not going to be successful yourself in the long run. The internet offers an alternative to being a professional. You can share your stuff on hobby sites and other hobbyists give you feedback. Also, it is easier to sell if you want to sell it. Then it might be a bit like a business to do so and you would have to be a businessperson as well as creative.
When you buy a computer, you can just go into a store and buy one or buy one with a click of a button online. However, anything you do on your computer is something that despite what you think can take years to learn. It is not all just about learning the software. The activities you do on them take years to learn. However, the trick may be to do what you mostly know already. And use the software to make it easier for you, and improve on a modicum of talent. E.g., a WP has editing tools, excellent for writing. And enjoy learning for learning’s sake. And enjoy creativity for creativity’s sake. Enjoy being creative without having to create a masterpiece or rue you have not enough talent or skills to make your dreams a reality.
However, there is a chance you could succeed with no special advantage but the software on your computer. You could write a publishable novel or short story with a how-to-write book open as you type. Perhaps, you can get several of these how-to-write books and they would tell you all you needed. And they could reduce any stress writing as soon as you’ve read the first few chapters of one of them. 
And for home use, it really is a much-reduced choice of things you can do on them. And seeing what you can or cannot do reduces stress. Really, making a list of what to pack for your holiday, a home budget, and writing a letter are the types of things you can do on it. All you could do with a word processor or spreadsheet. However, you have Email and browser to do all you can on the World Wide Web. Also, family snaps and videos.
Although the book offers perhaps a thing or two you can use if you have real goals and ambitions, it also says you may not want the trials and tribulations of ambition.
Things may be changing already. For example, word processors and spreadsheets are not so important to the home user any more. They may have been important to a home user who was not online and so could do little else but try out this software. 
Many of your problems may be solved if you define a purpose for which to use your computer. However, someone may only have problems with computers because they find it hard to cope generally. They would also improve their social skills if they spent more time reading or watching TV and not using a computer. Maybe a computer allows you to cheat a bit when you do not have a surfeit of talent to give the world. That is your computer’s appeal to you. Perhaps you use a computer as therapy and because you are unhappy. And because it was even better therapy to create works of art and literature on a computer you thought others would appreciate as well as just being for you. Such as if, you had a pen and notebook. Rather than for you to keep it all bottled up. 
Time management is something that is stressful for anyone. And more if you have problems with stress anyway. 
Doing one thing rather than another makes all the difference to whether you achieve your goals. And when you have worthwhile goals, you are doing something with your time. So having worthwhile goals are good goal setting and time management. You really could change your life by doing no more than prioritising. When you want to be an artist, you have to spend time learning to paint. When you want to have better social skills you have to have read the latest novels and this month’s magazines. And have watched last night’s TV.
A problem perhaps some have is when their parents and teachers never said ‘no’ to them. Without being able to prioritise, there can be no plan you can keep to. You would not have enough time to do everything you might want to do. In addition, you would not spend enough time on goals to achieve them.
Writing for publication when your work may not be good enough really for publication if you thought about it, your novel may be badly reviewed, and a book can take a year or more of hard work even for professional writers is stressful. And often, if it is not stressful because you write professionally or approach it professionally then writing is sometimes like plain old-fashioned hard work. And for some not well-paid or well-rewarded if, they get few readers or don’t get good reviews.
The author has spoken to some who say that computers are not stressful and some who find they are. Although only a straw poll, the author found that computer users who found it stressful hoped one day to have work they did on their computers published. This was whether attempts at novels, poetry or other creative work or diaries. Instead, they might better enjoy a hobby of reading and watching TV. As well as writing for fun or to get out their feelings. And not be stressed. Others may indeed become successful writers, computer or other artists, photographers or musicians/composers. Nevertheless, you may never, no matter how hard you try, succeed. Nor succeed no matter how much work you put into it, potentially years of hard work. And you don’t even have to write a novel today to be published. There is a market online for all kinds of writing. However, there is probably still today no market for a diary of any kind to be published as a novel. You might write a blog if you want others to read your day-to-day life. 
For therapy, it helps sometimes to write essays about things that worry you. And a WP can be excellent for this. Also, computer word processors can print reminders and check-lists for any activity you do. 
Also, you can use a computer to budget better. I.e. you’ve saved some money! It may be worth having a computer just to save money.
And you can still use a computer for your family snaps and videos. And perhaps improve your snaps as well by practice taking so many photos, and using photo-editing software. Alternatively, you may be a keen amateur photographer who likes his computer because it helps him with his hobby. He finds the software he wants or likes. And perhaps it taking less time to use is one of his criteria for buying this software. As well, you can use art programs to produce good work with even the smallest talent in art. By using features such as tracings, and drawing objects such as circles and squares.
These examples of particular hobbies are just examples of how any particular computer activity or hobby has its own challenges. But some of these challenges will be the same for many computer users. Such as how long they want to spend on their hobby, how long on the computer itself, how easy they find it to take breaks, and what advantages the computer will give them for their hobby and what disadvantages. And some computer users do use it only for Email and the internet. They look up things; book any kind of tickets; plan travel arrangements, and get bargains. Also, they social network, and do anything you can do online.
Therefore, when computers offer all this and more, you want to use yours to get these benefits. You may feel you only have to use your computer better and you will achieve all the benefits you want. However, this may take some time and for some be worth it and others not when they see what they have achieved. 
The author sincerely hopes this book has offered you some tips to help you with your home time management, computer use, social skills and self-help worries. After reading this and other advice, you may use your computer better, as this is involved in so many activities that cause problems. For this though you may need to learn skills such as for using computer software, writing, art, photography or any other activity you do on your home computer. Alternatively, if you want to draw a line under it now and stack your computer in your loft or garage or sell it, then do so. It is not the author’s intention to try to persuade you otherwise when that may be the best decision for you. Nor to tell you to give up your ambitions when you may still succeed in them so you enjoy them and they don’t cause you any problems such as overusing your computer or other worries. Now with the internet you can share your creative work. Computers both let you create it and share it. You can share it online with other hobbyists and members of the Public. And even have commercial or critical success.
It remains to be said, ‘don’t try too hard’ is good advice for many things. Therefore, when you find it might not really be so easy after all then re-evaluate. You may decide enough is enough and give it up. You may feel infinitely better if you say to yourself, right now for example, that you’d prefer a quiet cup of tea in your armchair in your own home to using a computer. As well, you can still have places you can go and things you can do. And you don't want any aches or pains or other illnesses. And just because others have computers and don’t seem to have problems with them, or you don’t hear they do then you don’t have to have one. Nor do you have to have one because you think they are modern. You can keep up with the times other than having your own piece of modern technology at home. And if computers stress you or you don’t think that on balance you get much advantage then you don’t have to have your computer at all. Alternatively, use it a lot less for something it is good at, such as checking travel times, listings, or something you do want it for. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing unless you think you cannot cope with having something that is so easy to switch on if it’s in your home. If you don’t think you get benefits, don’t want to use one, and then that’s your decision. There’s a reason most feel like giving up. It is because it’s stressful to do anything for a long time without some sign of success. And they have worked out that they are never going to succeed anyway. Therefore, they give it up, and do something they like better and find easier.
So don’t do anything that makes you worried and ill if you can help it. There is normally no valid reason to get poor health for any goal. You can’t achieve something and then chat to your carers about it who come to clean your flat. Alternatively, have an enthralled audience of nurses, nursing assistants and cleaners in a nursing home for how you changed the world, or the finer points of what you were trying to achieve with your art or writing. Nor will anyone take any advice from you. Nor can you brag about your successes when you need to ask someone to hand you something because you find it too much effort.
Some say computers are stressful, almost unavoidably. And you can read about many of these stressors as well as health issues in the printed press and online. Alternatively, you may find your computer all right. And get benefits from it. No real problems for you. And if that is you, then you’re doing fine. But if you’re not happy, and that unhappiness you can see is from using a computer, then you might want to re-evaluate your computer use and what it means to you. Doing this you may reduce home time management stress right now.

Last…
They say it is good therapy to write it all down. So perhaps you should. Get all your bad thoughts out of your head. However, if you use overuse a computer or stay up all late using one, then that is not good for health. After writing this book, I considered whether it was a kind of lover's complaint about computers. 
Really, though there are health issues using a computer. One is the radiation from the screen. This causes wrinkles from the heating effect, lack of concentration, is carcinogenic and may even cause brain damage. Computers also use carcinogenic materials to make them. As well, computers can cause eye, back, and neck strain. And the possibilities of starting a new file and the easy to use addictive editing tools may mean you write more than you would with a paper notepad and more than you strictly need for therapy. And finishing things off can keep you up late. And the possibility of being published means you may overuse your computer. 
As well, typing poorly because you do not have your fingers on the home keys as they are called can cause health problems with your hands. This is because you have never been trained as a typist. And typing well is essential to using a computer as much as it was a typewriter. If you can do one thing to help your computer use, if you use one, it would be to learn to type proficiently.
Perhaps a paper notebook would solve many of the problems that you would get if you used a WP to write notes. However, the disadvantage would be that you couldn't edit your notes. It sounds like a small thing to be able to edit notes nobody else will see, but it can be quite therapeutic. You can have a neat copy, corrected, and without bits you don't want and the addition of things you forgot to say the first time. And if you cannot read your handwriting so easily for your notes and stories then you get less enjoyment and use reading them again later.
For writing fiction, particularly if you plan to recycle some of it by publishing, then a WP is almost essential.  Producing a work of art is therapeutic as others compliment it as being art, and so it is worthwhile and admired in everyone’s lives. 
Try sound recordings as these are quicker to say the same amount. They are good for notes and feelings. And have the added advantage you can hear your voice. However, you may find that you were often tired when you made these sound recordings, same as when you wrote notes, quite probably. That might tell you that what you really want is to get some sleep and many of your problems may be over. However, you may need to see this for yourself.
Have a purpose for your computer, because if you don't you are going to waste time on it. And use your printer properly. Try not to read from the screen as this is bad for concentration and for health as well. 
It may be that you bought a computer on some whim and don’t really have a use for it and that is the problem you have, e.g. when you don't really want to use a WP and spreadsheet when that is what it has on it. If you did buy it on a whim and you don’t really want one for anything then you might think back to before you got one and what your interests were. Perhaps, you have no interests for which you would need a computer. For example, if you don’t think you would make a good author or don’t want to learn for perhaps years before you produced decent work. Nor are you any kind of artist and so have no need for a computer arts package. You have no need to a computer arts package any more than you would buy yourself an easel, canvases and paints when you didn’t already know how to paint. As well, you are not any kind of keen photographer more than you might take holiday snaps you could print in a booth. So think back to what you got your computer for. It may be hard to take up a hobby just because you have a computer that you have no real interest in other than that you can now do it on your computer. 
Computers are carcinogenic. And the screen radiation is almost always above the recommended safe level. And sometimes double depending on the computer model you have. You can get radiation filters, but I’ve not seen them in any high street computer shop or well-known online store. Perhaps, you can get a computer when they make them safer for every user. In a way it’s a tragedy that they don’t already sell safe computers when millions of consumers want the benefits they offer but may regret getting one. If you use a WP to do any writing then that means overusing your computer, almost by definition. Overusing your computer means damaging your health. You may wish it was different, and then you could have great fun at not cost. But alas, many things would be different if by wishing them so we could make them so…
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