~~Watching from a Distance~~

By Abigail Isaac 

Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 by Abigail Isaac 

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A quick table of contents because that’s what’s recommended.  
Section 1
Section 2
Section 3
About the Author



As the door closes behind me, the irritating noise from the drums and horns all but disappear. With that distraction gone, the emotions of this newly contacted race from Dipson-3 focus so sharply I almost feel physically hit. President Lee is curious, interested, but also cautious. Can I blame him? No. After all, his people have only questioned the possibility of people from other worlds until a week ago. The vice president and the other members of the president’s circle match the president’s opinion, with the sole exception of his daughter, Daisy. But what she cares about, I can’t even begin to speculate. Thirty minutes association with a race only gives me the most basic level of emotions. 
Ka’za, my lady, smiles as she shakes President Lee’s hand again, then sits and seemingly absently pulls off her gloves. Unlike these people, we have hypersensitive skin and, as such, make efforts to protect it against unwanted touch. Though Ka’za thinks the gloves make her look too formal here, I personally think they offset the differences between herself and them well. Compared to me, in a dark uniform, Ka’za clearly becomes the center of attention and accepts that place well.
President Lee sits across from her, and I take my position behind Ka’za. Within five feet of her, as the guidelines for A-guards dictate. Ka’za insists to foreign people I am merely an assistant to her and necessary for her to carry out her duties. How, they rarely see. Cor, her translator, stands wherever the planetary custom dictates. Most people on board ship considers him one of the smartest men, for he learns every language we contact within a week; I suspect he does it through surgery and computers and not smarts. He’ll never admit it though; he knows where he stands if he lost his intelligence. 
“Toosha, ‘t--” The president pauses then gives her an embarrassed smile. “I fear, ma’am, that even after practicing I do not think I can pronounce your name.” The translator in my ear garbles her name so it sounded even less like our language, but my naked ear catches his own language clearly. No wonder he mispronounces her name so badly; his own language has too much music. 
Ka’za gives him a disarming smile and replies, which Cor translates. “Understandable, Mr. President. My title, as I’m sure you have been told, translates to Voice of the Vicelord. And it is through our Vicelord that I would like to arrange a trade agreement between Cordesle and its colonies, and America--on Earth.” They call it Earth. An obviously self-centered name as encountered in most societies. We call it Dipson-3, after its star and location in the system.
“I have understood that much from our talks thus far. However, what do we have that would be of value to you?” I easily feel the awe in his statement. 
“You have a planet very rich in calcium. Calcium powers our ships for light-speed very efficiently but is very rare on our planets. What we do have is oil, which you appear to use greatly. We would like to trade: our oil for your calcium. With this trade agreement, we will also extend to you a peace treaty for two hundred years. I imagine it has crossed your mind that you are outdated and backwards so far as we are concerned, but we do not want war with you. We merely wish to establish trade relations. There are many other nearby planets equally rich in calcium that we can colonize without a fight.” 
Surprise. Shock. Wonder. Hope. From all the men in the room. At moments like these, I wish I could laugh. They don’t need this oil; they have millions of gallons of it untouched. More than even recorded on their maps. However, they think they do and that is enough for Ka’za to negotiate. With that introduction, the table is set and Ka’za begins a process as familiar to me as dressing each morning. 
Ever since I became her A-guard two years ago, I admired her skills of negotiation. She somehow learned from a young age to read a foreign leader, and then tune her reactions and words to say what that leader needs to hear. Like a natural instinct. A gift. Most surprising of all is she isn’t that strong mentally nor does she adapt quickly to foreign minds like I do, which is mainly because I grew up in North Harbor. Yet I have only twice seen a trade agreement take more than a week to be approved. Add this gift with her precise manners and stunning appearance and she is not easily refused in anything. According to my mom, many question if she has her sights on the Vicelord position when her uncle passes; if she did, she would get it. 
With no imminent threat, I have a chance to observe the physical characteristics of everyone in the room. Most of the men are standard politicians. I see hundreds of those a year. The only variation is Daisy. 
Daisy turns from studying both the outside lawn and her nails to watch Ka’za’s and her father’s earnest discussion. No interest though. In fact, she showed more interest in her nails. She almost looks bored, and yet I don’t sense that either. Absently, she begins to twist a long, blond curl around her finger. I study her for a moment and, as I do, she slowly begins to smile. After spending so much time with dignitaries, I almost want to talk to her. Out of pure curiosity of what a young alien thinks. 
Or, perhaps, I only wish to speak with her because she reminds me so much of my sister Mati. They look a lot alike, with blond hair that curls down their backs. They both have these slender bodies that remind me of dancers. But Mati’s eyes sparkle with so much more life than Daisy’s. Everything in life makes Mati excited. Whenever we communicate, either through letters or space lines, she always demands to know what new things I’ve seen. She tells me often I should hide a little camera on my uniform, so I can take pictures of everything. 
Well, at least she used to. Now--
A grin from Daisy pierces my thoughts. Automatically, I smile in return; smiles universally mean goodwill. Daisy’s smile widens and she flips back her hair. I turn towards Ka’za and the president. I know better than to check my mail before a mission, since, especially now, it will cause me to lose focus. But I cannot resist either. I need to know something!
Ka’za rises. “I understand that you must consider my offer and the implications, Mr. President. I will send you the articles on environmental changes as soon as we translate them. In the meantime, I would like to invite you and up to twenty guests to tour our ship when it is convenient for you.” Our limit is placed because some of the regular crew can only tolerate so much mental stimuli without going insane. Only the strong and well-trained can go planet side, though I won’t admit I’m either. I know I’m good at fighting; that’s why I’m in the Purple Guard. But I can easily compare myself to others in a fight. Only a vague test tells me I’m stronger mentally than most.
“I would like that, and I’m sure Daisy would too.” President Lee glances at his daughter. She slips off the chair and stands next to him, a smile dancing across her face.
“I would love to see where you live, yes.” Her smile broadens and seems directed not quite at Ka’za. Maybe at me. Can’t tell for sure. I don’t like that idea. I’m so used to being invisible I prefer to stay that way now. 
“We would be honored if you would reconsider and join us for dinner,” President Lee says.
“I would love to, President Lee, but we cannot. It is physically impossible. Our bodies cannot digest minerals commonly found in your food.” I suspect she’s relieved she can say that. Much of the food we enjoy is typically served live, since our cali glands will kill the small creatures almost immediately. Though I don’t mind it, Ka’za hates cooked food. 
“Very well.” He walks her out the side door. I follow. Many of the guests that observed the welcoming ceremony earlier stayed in hopes of seeing Ka’za again. At the sight of her, they become so excited I feel dizzy deflecting the intense emotion. But not so dizzy I don’t notice Ka’za lower her eyebrows slightly and, ever so lightly, touched the railing. Her weakest ability is deflection of others’ emotions, especially strong emotions like now. No one needs to tell me that; I see it every time her eyebrows lower in a struggle. Yet she raises her hand in greeting to please them. 
As we walk across the grassy lawn towards our ship, an unnatural movement catches my attention. Instantly, my hand flies to my shock stick as I step to block the lady. Only then do I realize that it’s a young child who means us no harm. Cor feels her a second after I do and spins. The sudden movement startles her so much, she trips and stumbles into him. Cor jumps, and I hear his own shock stick activate.
“Cor. No.”
He stares at the child for a long moment. I can only guess what goes through his head. He probably has not experienced a child that young. Few from the capital do.
“Cor.” I touch his arm to get his attention. Slowly, he relaxes. As soon as he does, I scoop up the girl.
“Reve? Is it--?”
Earlier, when I shook hands, it felt foreign. But holding the child feels strangely normal. It reminds me when I carried Mati home from daycare many years ago. She touches the silver stripe on my shoulder and grins happily. “It’s fine, Cor.” I glance across the crowd, sensing the mother more from her terror than actually seeing her pressing against the rope. In fact, the whole crowd seems to hold its breath, waiting to see how we will respond to this offense. 
Like I could ever harm this little girl. 
Three steps to the crowd and I gently hand the girl back to her mother. I feel a huge loss when I do. In those few seconds I had held Mati. Who knows if I’ll ever get another chance to hold her. The mother murmurs her thanks, tears in her eyes. 
By the time I turn back to Ka’za, she has already continued walking towards the craft. Out of all the ways she ignores me, only this irritates me. As her A-guard, I know it’s my duty to stay within five feet of her. But she can at least try to keep that distance herself! I catch up to her just as her feet touch the landing ramp. By that time, everyone recovers enough that the nerve-racking horns begin again. A few bars of music and we disappear inside the craft.
As soon as the ramp closes, Ka’za turns to Cor, her dark eyes gentle. “How are you, Cor?” She pulls the translator out of her ear as she speaks. She hates how it feels, and has even less tolerance for it when she’s tired. I’ll have to watch her more closely next time. These people seem to wear her down more than normal.
The older man nods, although his face looks pale and sweaty. I look away to hide my smile. Unlike everyone else on this ship, my parents couldn’t afford much, a typical trademark of most families in the poorest colony of Cordesle. Boarding school, normal for the capital, was never even considered. Instead, I spent many afternoons making sure all the younger siblings had their homework done, then entertaining them with a variety of games until one of my parents returned home. At least until I was fourteen and everything changed. Cor, coming from Cordesle proper, never had that experience and, as such, fears children like most of the population.
“She merely startled me, milady. I don’t think I would have hurt her. It’s just--I didn’t want to anything improper.” Cor glances at me, not accusing, but more questioning. I wonder for a moment if he knows I’m from North Harbor. Not like I’ve told that many people. But without that knowledge, my actions do look different.
The ship trembles slightly as we take off for orbit. “I doubt you would have hurt her.” She turns to Captain Rowley, head of the Purple Guard on our ship. “A child ran out from under the ropes. Startled Cor. It was handled effectively, and without harm to our relationships. I was never in any harm.”
Captain Rowley nods. “I worried for a moment there. Both you and Cor seemed tense. Should we worry about it in the future?”
“I don’t think so. But I want your report of my current planet side risk by nightfall.” With a small nod at Cor, she leaves us standing there. Cor goes down the other passage.
Captain Rowley shakes his head. “It’s times like these I don’t know what she thinks of you, Reve.”
“Lady Ka’za, sir?”
Rowley nods slightly. 
“Besides apathetic hatred?” 
Rowley smiles ruefully. “You’re one of the best A-guards she’s ever had. An ability to stay invisible and an instinct to danger like yours is a rare gift; I know. So it can’t be your skill that she hates. She hasn’t hesitated before to transfer out a guard she didn’t agree with. So I don’t get why she treats you like--dirt.”
I shrug. “I don’t care. I’ve put up with a lot worse on my first assignment than this silent treatment. Besides, we only see each other with a dignitary. She has a lot more to focus on than me.” 
Rowley shakes his head. “Except part of what makes her so good is that she notices everyone and everything. Except you.” Captain Rowley purses his lips thoughtfully. “I should let you know; this is my last assignment. I’m retiring.” 
I blink at him. “You’ve been with the Purple Guard for--so long.”
“I know. But it is time to leave. Believe it or not, I actually am going to get married.” He smiles such a happy smile that I feel jealous in spite of myself. “I’ll make sure I leave a good word for you on your file. Something that’ll shatter your home address. Which, speaking of North Harbor, any clue what’s going on there?”
I pause, worry for Mati automatically surfacing, which I do my best to hide. “All I know is that the riots are as bad as the news reports.”
“Well, hopefully my recommendation will allow you to get a good position.”
“Do you--really think it will come to that, sir? She’s ignored me practically the whole two years I’ve been here and probably will until the day I request transfer.” 
Captain Rowley frowns. “She knows how well I like you. And she respects my preference of A-guards. But my opinion only last so long as I’m here.”
He leaves my most likely future alternative hanging in the air. We both know if I am transfered now, I will most likely end up as an attachment to some politician trying to calm down my hometown. I can’t do that, neither personally or emotionally. “What’s the likelihood of a transfer then?” 
“She has something against you, Reve. I can’t find out what; I’ve tried. But--I suspect someone is keeping her from transferring you out, either myself or her uncle. Either way, her patience will give out soon. Two years is long for her.”
I nod slightly. “Thanks for the warning I suppose.” I take the next turn to get away. Of course it’s just my kind of luck for this to happen right now, right when my family needs me here the most. 

###

Captain Rowley has the final say whenever we take extra precaution planet side, but usually does them on my recommendation. Like right now. I can’t name--let alone pinpoint--what I feel. I only know that the air feels tense. I doubt half the crew notices it; Captain Rowley will say they probably can’t even feel it. But it’s there and it forces most thoughts of Mati out of my mind. Not all. But I need to focus on what I can do--protect Ka’za--more than what I can’t do--protect Mati.
As such, we have all six of the regular purple guard on duty. They line the path from the White House to the shuttle. As President Lee and Ka’za walk down the path, with Daisy and myself behind them, they leave their station and fall behind us. All in all, a splendid sight for these people.
All the while, I focus on the emotions. Many people cheer. As that is what most people feel and I still haven’t fully adjusted to these people, I can only barely sense the important strands. A few flashes of discontent. Some of fear. Some so jumbled I can’t make sense of them. But nothing worth calling a code for. These precautions may end up being enough.
 Ka’za steps onto the ramp and waves to the crowd and the cameras. She says often the way to win the leader is to win the public. At this acknowledgement of them, everyone’s positive opinion of her increases, without changing the questioning opinions. Stunningly brilliant, like normal. 
Except at that moment, I feel the tightening of pure fear just before a reaction occurs.
“Shell!” 
I leap over the railing to the ground as the rest of the purple guard close around Ka’za and the president. Two shots ring out. A dull thud echos behind me as it hit someone’s vest. I jump the rope, holding tightly to the mental fear that sent the would-be assassin to unleash a bullet on our lady. I can just barely sense him through the panicked chaos that erupt around me. Barely, but it’s enough.
I press my way through the crowd as he tries to flee before me. But he’s trapped by too many bodies. The crowd, though panicked, give me more space than him and I gain. I reach for my stun stick, only for someone to knock it out of my hands.
Suddenly, he stands in front of me. He pauses, then fires his gun. Six times the bullets hit my chest. I stand there, my vest absorbing the shots. As soon as he empties his clip, he charges me. I block, reflexes faster than thinking, and shove him back. He goes at me again with the desperation of a dead man. Block. Weave. Block. The world melts around me into the background of a cramped back alleys I were I used to fight. I begin to see his pattern and his holes. On his next attack, I catch his arm and flip him to the ground. In the moment it takes him to scramble up, I slam the back of my hands together. My gloves hum with energy. He charges me again. I block then grab his neck, the only bare skin available. For a moment, he stiffens, then crumples to the ground with barely a shudder. 
As I lower him to the ground, the world materializes again. I am no longer a young boy defending his honor or his family but a highly specialized member of a security detail. No longer do I stand in the streets of North Harbor but in a green lawn surrounded by alien people. They stare at me, stunned and a little fearful, not understanding what I just did. To them, it looks like I am quite dangerous. I suppose I can be though.
I hit my hands together again to turn off the shock ability, then pick up my stun stick. At that moment, both a member of the president’s secret service and Litan, a member of the purple guard, appear. 
“Is she safe?” I ask. 
Litan nods. “And you?”
“My uniform’s ruined.” I smile faintly. “But I’m fine. Might be a little sore later.”
“Him?”
“Shocked. No injuries. Do we hand him over to their secret service or do we take?”
“For now, we’ll take.” Litan hoists the assassin into a hover cart and motions for me to lead. The crowd parts quickly for me; they fear I will hurt them too. 
At the entrance to the ship, Second-Captain Turner meets me. “Reve, there was only one?”
I nodded. “So far as I could tell. Where is Captain Rowley?”
“Captain Rowley was hit--and injured. The lady has gained permission for us to question the assassin.”
“Does she need me to report to her?”
“No.” He smiles faintly, like he can see how I feel about her. I can’t imagine he can though. I closely guard most everything personal like that. “The purple guard can handle any inside threat I imagine.”
I shrug and head for my room. There, I wash the fight from my face and pull on a clean uniform. As I stand in the center of my small cabin, I find myself being drawn to the computer. I know I shouldn’t; I will be needed soon. So I justify it by saying I will send a message to my mom. If she hears about the attack, she will want to know I am safe. Logically I know that she probably won’t hear. Very few nonofficial reports leave our ship and power for computers is intermittent in North Harbor due to the riots, even at the hospital.
However, in my inbox is exactly why I originally convinced myself to check my mail. An update on Mati.

Reve,
Mati took a turn for the worse about an hour ago. Her oxygen levels dropped and they intubated her again. Her heart hasn’t stabilized into a rhythm either. They think she is bleeding internally and say they can’t do anything about it. 
The problem is that they refuse to do anything about it because they doubt that we can pay. Not when I can’t work and North Harbor is in such chaos. Atnah (You remember her? The really nice nurse.) she told me they have a drug that should help her with all the tiny internal bleeds but it is very expensive, and already they’ve done two surgeries. I don’t know what else to say, Reve. I hate that I must ask you so often to help but you also insisted that the boys’ work doesn’t interfere with school. We can’t do anything else.
The nurse gave me a income sheet to fill out. I’ve attached it. If we seem to have enough money, she can get the drug. Obviously, the payments would need to come mainly out of what you give us already. We can pull ourselves back some; we have before. But since it is legally your money, you need the sign it. 
I love you, Reve. 
-Mom

She doesn’t send pictures. I almost wish she would, though, it’s probably best I don’t see them. It takes enough strength for me to hold myself together as it is; if I saw pictures of how bad Mati is, I doubt I could focus at all.
I open the paperwork only to find Mati’s outstanding bill at the front. If only she hadn’t thought it so important to rescue a stray dog! Then she never would have been caught in the middle of a riot. She wouldn’t be in ICU right now, fighting for her life. Currently, she has been in more pain these past two weeks than I have ever been in five years as an A-guard, including training. In frustration, I shove myself away from the table, grab my translator and leave to walk the hallways. 
Normally, I don’t get a break during a mission. Since I need to go planet side with the Lady every time she goes, I also must attend all the briefings she attends. This kind of schedule means few breaks for both myself and her most of the time. Even the fact that I am not actually with her while we have visitors seems awkward. I won’t object. In some ways, I shouldn’t even be on duty at all. Not when just reading updates about Mati tears me up inside. But what can I do? Going home is nearly impossible out here, as is getting a replacement A-guard.
I hope Ka’za finishes this deal soon. I need the break. 
The ship’s layout is roughly a large circle, with rooms on both sides. It is perfect if someone just wants to walk forever. Since the visitors are on this level, many of the regular crew cleared out just in case. Some people do not like experiancing the stimuli of unshielded individuals and avoid them as much as possible. On a positive side, it allows me to walk quickly. 
As I come around a corner, I see Daisy standing against a wall, idly watching whoever passes. As she catches sight of me, she breaks into a grin. I try to return a smile, though it falls flat, and nod. As I pass her, she suddenly grabs my arm. I jump. More from the suddenness than anything else. Her emotions have shifted from curiosity to a tangled mess I can’t read any anymore. I wish I’d adjusted to their emotional pattern; then I can figure out this girl.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She starts to twist her hair again, just like while we waited earlier. I make a mental note to see if it means anything important. “I saw how well you recognized the assassin and--well--I didn’t think you’d be easily startled.” 
I give her another little smile. That doesn’t even make sense. Her emotions and the emotions of that assassin are totally different. Like--a messy tangle of dark hair compared to the sharp directness of purple eyes. One is confusion; the other is obvious. It is always easier to feel directness in any race.
Daisy tilts her head to the side. “Do you understand me?”
I nod. 
“Then why don’t you respond?”
I shake my head.
“You can’t?” 
Another nod. Then, just so as not to confuse her, I say, “I can, but I cannot speak English.”
“Oh.” She sounds sad. She didn’t understand what I said. “How am I suppose to know your name them?” 
An involuntary chuckle escapes me. Does she know the name of those black-suited guards that followed her constantly? I doubt it. I am just like them. My name would be of no consequence to her.
She twists her hair a little again. “I used to think a blood-drinking human was adorable. Like Edward. But now... I’d like to know. Please.”
She asks me so sincerely that I almost wish I could speak with her. Maybe it’s because this is the first time anyone of significance spoke with me in over a year, if one could call the teenage daughter of the president significant. In general, I am invisible and should be that way. Besides, speaking cannot happen. The only reason I understand this exchange is I have a small computer in my ear that translates what she says.
“Well,” She takes a step forward. “There--could always--is always--something we can do without talking. If you know what I mean....” She touches my collar. 
I pause. As I try to decide if the computer just glitch--which does happen on occasion--she takes an abrupt step closer and presses her lips against mine. 
I freeze. This is wrong! So wrong. No one should do this--especially when we have no intention of marriage. And especially not in public. She presses against me. I taste the cali shoot into my mouth. Completely involuntarily. A panic response. Slightly tangy and deadly to her. I know I need to push her away but my arms do not obey. 
She slumps suddenly. I catch her and lower her to the ground. Already she looks paler. I can still taste the cali in my mouth. A result of her mouth against mine.
“Medical!” I force the word out. 
She grabs for my hand. I pull back. I don’t have gloves on. Her lips begin to turn blue, and her hands are shaking.
A medic arrives. “What--happened?” He glances at me.
“Cali poisoning,” I answer as I move away.
He can’t hide his shock--he knows its mine--but turns his full attention to the girl. 
I feel Turner and Ka’za before I actually see them come back into the hall with Cor and President Lee.
“Daisy!” 
Cor surveys the scene and listens for a moment, then speaks without Ka’za prompting. “It appears there has been an unforeseeable accident. Your daughter will receive whatever medical care she requires. In a moment, they will take her to the medical bay and you are more than welcome to go with her. I will accompany you as your translator.” One thing I can appreciate about Cor; he has a way with words in emergencies. I panic and stumble over my own words in any situation that matters.
President Lee sees no signs of an accident, though the few crew members who heard me answer the medic have begun discussing my answer among themselves. “What happened?”
Cor glances at me, as if he wants something, but doesn’t actually ask or lower his shields enough for me to know what that is. I can tell he doesn’t want to say what probably happened; it would embarrass me, the Lady and his daughter. “Apparently we failed to adequately mark an area as unsafe for her, which exposed her to a slightly--dangerous elements for your people. However, we already know the similarities between your people and ours, and know how to adequately treat it, if you will come with me.”
President Lee does not like that vague answer, but doesn’t know how else to respond. He loves his daughter and it appears as if she is dying. As such, as they take Daisy to the medical wing, he follows them. They’ll probably explain what happened there.
I turn towards my room but I stop when I feel Ka’za staring at me, her purple eyes seem to burn through my skin. I cannot even think of what to say. She can hear the talk. She knows what I did. Not only did I do something completely inappropriate in public, but my actions may cause her to fail for one of the few times. I suppose that gives her a good reason to transfer me.
She catches my eyes. “We’ll talk later.” Her voice is quiet, but firm. Completely unemotional. 
I nod slightly. “Yes, my lady.”

###

I fill out the form for Mati by that evening. Mom tells me we should know if it works by midnight my time. But with that Mati’s life looming over my head and the guilt that my cali may kill a girl, my small room feels like a cage. 
When Ka’za finally calls me to her room late that night, I want nothing more than not to go. I know logically we plan for things like this. That’s why we conduct medical scans and do a diagnostic comparison of our treatment on all aliens before we contact. She should survive. 
Should. 
Which is a lot better than Mati at the moment. 
So perhaps, she will not lecture me. Either way though, I must go. Delaying will not help my case. 
When I enter, she stands with her back to the door, her hair down and dressed in casual clothes. She only wears her hair and clothing like that when she can finally relax. The light catches her purple hair beautifully and, for a moment, my breath catches. 
She finishes pouring a second cup of tea, then turns. “Turned out your accidental poisoning resulted in us finding his daughter’s leukemia. Since we offered to treat his daughter, he agreed to sign a trade agreement with us. Not what I would have predicted, but good nonetheless.”
I pause long enough to allow me to respond evenly, so my embarrassment doesn’t show in my emotions. “You should be aware, my lady, she surprised me. I’ve never thought--never could have predicted--”
“Have a drink, Reve.” She hands me some tea and sits herself. I stare at the cup a moment, my mind spinning between this conversation, Mati and Daisy. Ka’za isn’t acting right but I can’t place why. Strange, because I can read her so well most of the time. “And sit. As it turns out, kissing is fairly common on Dipson-3. It’s not restricted for only marriage and not nearly as intimate as it is for us. President Lee did apologized for his daughter’s forwardness though and I assured him I would pass on his message.”
She brings it up so casually that all my pent up embarrassment leaks free. I feel my ears burn and try to hide it by sitting. Ka’za at least pretends her tea is more interesting. 
“I’ve been trying to convince Captain Rowley to stay but he is stubborn. And very much in love.” She glances at me. “Ever thought of applying for his position?”
Two thoughts occur in my head simultaneously. If Captain Rowley stays, I stay. If she’s suggesting I apply for his position, then maybe she won’t transfer me after all.
“My lady, I don’t think that is necessarily advisable. You need someone--who--” I couldn’t say trust, because that sounded wrong. Some part of her trusted me or she would never go into strange territory with only me at her side. But someone whose company she enjoyed--that could describe our situation. The captain of the purple guard works very closely with her. Far more than I do now.
She studies my face for a moment, and then does something that I never expected she would do. She misjudges a situation. “So what if you’re from North Harbor? It hasn’t effective your performance. I wouldn’t know if I didn’t read your record.”
“I didn’t mean that!” I can feel my ears redden again. Of course it would be on my record, but the fact that she remembers it can mean anything. I am probably the only purple guard from North Harbor and I hate that people make a point of it. Yet, she says it with such casualness that it can’t be why she hates me.
“Then what?” She brushes back her hair and studies me. Her face is open, honest, clear. My chest tightens. From where I sit, I can so easily lean over and brush my fingers along those soft hands of hers. Then brush back her hair that curls slightly around her cheek. The long, dark hair that I want to touch whenever she wears it down like this. To feel the silkiness through my fingers. 
Forget the fact that she hates me. I can’t take that position, work that closely with her, and always hide my feelings. Sooner or later, my shields will slip. Then where would I be? It’d be worse than now. This is just fate’s cruel punishment for not transferring myself earlier.
I take a long drink to force myself into blankness. Mentally, I grope for what is off but I still can’t tell.
“If you did, Reve--” she says my name so slowly, like she savors it-- “no one would question your motives or status.” Two fingers touch my hand--just barely. Almost hover over it. My breath catches as I look down. Her delicate fingers send shivers down my back. I want nothing more than to respond. To wrap her hand in mine. To actually believe what her touch should mean. That she wants to be with me. 
This must be a dream. I look at a clock. 11:52. So this isn’t a dream. I turn back to Ka’za. “My lady--” The words catch in my throat. What does one say when an unattainable woman abruptly becomes attainable? 
She blinks. For a moment--the briefest of moments--I can sense that she doubts herself. That she--she is scared. Not of me. No. But of what I may say. That she is misreading the situation.
She pulls her hand away and stands. She doesn’t speak until she is several yards from me. “I can hear what everyone says. That I hate you. That they can’t understand why you haven’t been transfered already. When I first saw you--I pretended that anything I felt didn’t matter. Sure, I found you attractive but I’ve seen a lot of attractive men. You were just some A-guards that my uncle picked based on scores and recommendations so I couldn’t find an immediate fault with you. I never expected that under your quiet guise would be someone as gentle, kind and generous as you.”
She finally turns back to me. “Then, at Jaroin you saved me. That--and other things--I knew I would never find anyone like you again. But I couldn’t transfer you out yet. And I couldn’t admit to my uncle what I felt. What would it matter anyway? There was hardly a chance you would give me a second glance. But the more I learned about you and what you do--how you keep so little for yourself so you can help your family--how you love children not as an obligation--how you don’t ever lord your position over anyone--the more I feel for you. Sometimes--like when you carried that girl back to her mother--I force myself to look away and remind myself that you will never notice a random lady you guard like me. But--sometimes, when you don’t check your shields, and I wonder....” 
I swallow. “My--” I swallow again down a dry throat. “Ka’za, are you--do you--” My mind is blank. I take a slow breath. I need to focus. There is irony. I am the one who needs the words that Ka’za doesn’t have. Words so I can know what she means; perhaps, even--dare I?--say what I feel for her.
Suddenly, she drops her shields and I realize what I missed. Up until now, she has been guarding her emotions as tightly as I. And her emotions--they are strong and true and complete. An affection that matches what I hide inside myself for so long. Nothing like the tangled mess that came from Daisy. Confusion that I doubted I could ever unravel. Unbidden, my shields fall and my emotions become hers to read. 
She meets my eyes. For the longest moment, we say nothing, just swept away by what the other feels.
“It--would not be appropriate for my A-guard to be my beau,” Ka’za whispers.
I find my voice. “In truth, Ka’za, I notice everything about you. I know how you hate the translator, and take it out especially quick when you are tired. I know how you cannot deflect strong emotions well and how your eyebrows lower when the emotion is especially overwhelming. I know how you wear your hair up so you feel older, and so they take you more seriously, but that you prefer to for it to be down because you then feel pretty. And so, so many other things, Ka’za. I--also know I should have transfered myself away months ago, because of my emotions.”
Ka’za holds my eyes. “As a captain of the guard--relationships happen often enough. No one would disapprove.”
“Would you listen to me if I were?” 
She smiles faintly, a teasing smile. “As well as I listen to Captain Rowley.” She puts her hand on mine. No doubts. No hesitations.
I close my hand around her small one. Now this--this feels right. “Why now though? After two years?”
“Because when the thought of anyone else--crazy Dipson-3 girl or not--kissing you made me as angry as it did, I knew it had to be addressed. Even if that meant rejection.”
I shake my head, amazed. Never would I have imagined this would come from that. 
My cell buzzes. I jump and pull back. It’s practically midnight. “I’m--sorry. I need to check this.”
She nods, though curious. 

Mati’s heart has stabilized and her blood pressure is almost normal. They’re already thinking it worked. We’ll know more in the morning when her blood count comes back. So far, so good though. --Mom

As my muscles relax, I realize how tense and fearful I had been that message would bring bad news. All my fear for nothing. Mati would be fine. I glance at Ka’za. Only then do I realize that she can sense my emotions right now. I shove my cell back in my pocket, slightly embarrassed. 
“What is it?”
I pause. I feel almost guilty letting her hear this. She hasn’t asked that question with the expectation of such a serious answer. But I also don’t want to keep anything from her right now--or ever if I can help it. “My youngest sister was caught in the middle of a riot in North Harbor. She’s been in ICU for almost two weeks. We’ve had--serious doubts she would make it but--good news. For now.”
“Reve--why--didn’t you say something?” She almost sounds hurt, or shocked. 
“What is there to say? You can’t do anything without an A-guard and they can’t afford for me to take the time off. It was best for me to stay here.”
“I never would have--you were a little off now that I think about it. But nothing that would have caused me to guess you carried something that serious.” Ka’za tilts her head slightly as she studies me. She is stunned.
I smile suddenly, perhaps the first real smile since I heard about Mati. Mati is going to be fine now and Ka’za--this beautiful woman before me--wants to go out with me. To maybe be my wife. Imagine that! And I have no reason not to object to it. None. We already work together, live on the same ship, and have watched each other for so long. Since Jaroin apparently, my third mission with her. We know enough to love each other. Perhaps we already do. 
I move myself off the chair and kneel before her. It’s impulsive but I don’t care. I recite the traditional request for courtship as is done in the capital. “Ka’za dau Reloni, will you do me the honor of your courtship as we find someone to marry?” 
Ka’za blinks, for the third time taken off guard by the suddenness of the situation. The unexpected. I never thought I would see that before now, though I’m glad it’s me who gets that privileged.
Then she beams. “The honor would be all mine.” 

###

Thanks for reading. If you liked this, tell your friends and/or leave a review.

Other works: 
I hope to release a new short story every two to three weeks at least while I am starting. As such, here are some future, or maybe current, titles.

For Their Future (A purple guard story)
Time of the Dragon Slayers
How Johnny Cash Saved My Life--300 years after he died

About me
I began writing at fourteen to entertain my sister, but it took me almost four years before I wrote something that might be considered half way good, and another year or two to fully complete a novel, The Sweeper Pilot. Since then, I’ve written a variety of both short stories and parts of novels, all of them science fiction of some variety. Although I have submitted several things for publication, Watching From a Distance is the first story as an ebook. 
Currently, I live in South Dakota. I attend college, work at the writing center and study to be an elementary teacher. When I have time, I write, draw, waste time and read good books.

Contact via e-mail: Aisaacbooks@gmail.com
My blog: Always a Writer