This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. After/Life Copyright© 2010 Jamieson Wolf ISBN: 978-0-9866406-1-2  Cover Artist: Jamieson Wolf Text: Jamieson Wolf All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews. Night Wolf Publications First Electronic Edition After/Life A Play in Three Scenes Jamieson Wolf To Himself, who inspires my more theatrical side CAST OF CHARACTERS VERONIQUE: Average height, dark hair and a kind face. Mid twenties. BARBIE: Pretty and blond, long and slim. Mid twenties. JUSTIN: Handsome with boy next door features. Mid twenties. STAGE SET UP AND LAY OUT. The stage is completely bare except for a stool that sits in centre stage right. LIGHTING A simple spotlight is needed to highlight the actors while on stage. No other lighting is needed. SOUND Song recordings are needed for two of the characters (BARBIE and JUSTIN). In the script they are listed as “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story and “Go West” by The Pet Shop Boys, but any similar song can be used. The music is optional, however. After/Life A Play in Three Scenes Jamieson Wolf SCENE 1 THE STAGE BEGINS IN BLACKNESS. WE CAN HEAR SOMEONE SINGING A VAGUE MELODY (SOMETHING FAMILIAR LIKE “MY FAVOURITE THINGS” FROM THE SOUND OF MUSIC). SLOWLY, EVER SO SLOWLY, A SPOTLIGHT BEGINS TO SHINE DOWN ON THE STAGE. SITTING ON A LONE STOOL, THE REST OF THE STAGE BARE, IS VERONIQUE. SHE’S OF AVERAGE HEIGHT WITH DARK HAIR AND A KIND FACE. SHE STOPS SINGING WHEN THE LIGHT REACHES ITS FULL INTENSITY AND SHADES HER EYES. SHE STOPS HUMMING AND BLINKS INTO THE LIGHT. SHE COCKS HER HEAD TO THE RIGHT AS IF SHE IS LISTENING TO SOMEONE WE CAN’T SEE, SOMEONE THAT IS JUST BEYOND HER REACH. SHE SPEAKS VERONIQUE: You want to know about Justin? Well, there isn’t much to tell, really. You should know everything anyway right? You’re omnipresent and Omni powerful and all right? Isn’t that what they say about you? VERONIQUE LISTSENS AGAIN TO THE VOICE, A VOICE WE CAN’T HEAR. SHE SNORTS. AND LETS OUT A BURST OF LAUGHTER. VERONIQUE: Right, okay. You just want to get my side of things. Why would you want to hear my opinion of what happened? You hear everything right? SHE RAISES HER HAND TO STOP THE VOICE WE CAN’T HEAR FROM TALKING. VERONIQUE: Okay, okay, I know what you’re going to say, you want to hear all sides of the story. Don’t get your panties in a knot. I guess the beginning would be a good place to start, right? VERONIQUE LISTENS TO THE VOICE AND LETS OUT ANOTHER SNORT OF LAUGHTER. VERONIQUE: Fine, fine, calm down. I thought you were supposed to be all calm and loving. You’ve got quite the temper, you know. SHE CLOSES HER EYES FOR A MOMENT, AS IF SHE IS SEARCHIGN FOR THE RIGHT WORDS, THE RIGHT BEGINNING. SHE HUFFS OUT A BREATH AND OPENS HER EYES, LOOKS UP AT THE LIGHT AGAIN. VERONIQUE: Well, you know what happened, right? Big car crash off route 401, several cars totalled, people injured, three people dead. I don’t need to give you the details about that do I? It was all over the news… The funny thing is that none of us were invited. We weren’t supposed to go to the party, but we figured it was a chance to get an in, somehow. You don’t know what it’s like, being unpopular. Everyone loves you. You don’t have to worry about fitting in, about adhering to the proper style, the proper social protocol. VERONIQUE STOPS TALKING AND COCKS HER HEAD TO THE RIGHT; WE KNOW THAT THE VOICE IS SPEAKING TO HER, SAYING SOMETHING WE CAN’T HEAR. SHE LETS OUT A DERISIVE LAUGH VERONIQUE: Oh, just be myself. Yeah, that’ll work real well. You’re really out of touch with today’s youth, aren’t you? You have no idea. I mean, I keep praying that one day, one day I’ll walk into my high school and everything will be different, that people will notice me. That people will treat me like something that isn’t a piece of shit under their shoe. But that’ll never happen, not now. It sickens me a little bit, you know? Trying to earn the attention of cheerleaders and jocks, people too stupid to not speak in monosyllabic syllables. It makes me hate myself, just that tiny bit. That tiny bit eats away at me, from the inside, and sometimes I feel that little black spot of hate is all that is left of me. I know you always talk about kindness and love but it’s not like that for us. We’re the freaks, you know? It’s not kindness and love for us. High School is all about survival, about fitting in, not about getting along with each other. VERONIQUE STOPS TALKING AND LISTENS. SHE SIGHS. VERONIQUE: Right, right. You want to know what happened. Pardon me for belly aching. I just wanted to give you a bit of background information, you know? So, I think it was Barbie’s idea we go to the party. Don’t let her stupid name fool you, she’s not one of the cheerleaders; she only wishes she was like I do. Her parents wanted her to be a socialite. She ended up being a bookworm. Her parents let her know how disappointed they are every day, but she doesn’t let it get to her. Justin wasn’t so sure we should go, I mean, why would we bother? But Barbie said it would be a chance to try and fit in outside of school, where the walls that kept us prisoners during the day couldn’t hold us back. I think, in some way, she was trying to show her parents that she could be what they wanted her to be; that even though none of that bothered her, she could be the daughter they wanted. That’s pretty fucked up if you ask me. I mean, why would you screw your child up like that? Why can’t parents just love their kids and not live through their lives, you know? Justin has it pretty good. His parents love him. They let him do whatever he wants to do, go where he wants to go. But I think he’s kind of lonely. I mean, his parents seem kind of detached from the whole parenting thing. I think sometimes he wishes they were more…parent like? That his mother was more motherly, that his father actually wanted to hear about what his life was like, instead of respecting his privacy all the time. VERONIQUE HUFFS OUT A BREATH AND HOLDS UP HER HAND. WE KNOW THE VOICE HAS INTURRPTED HER. VERONIQUE: Alright, alright, I’m getting there. This is really hard for me to deal with, you know? It’s still fresh. You have to let things settle a bit you know? Where’s your never ending grace, huh? Where’s your compassion? SHE HUFFS OUT A BREATH AND CONTINUES. VERIONIQUE: So Barbie wanted to go to the party. I was happy to go along. Justin did anything he could do to make her happy. I think he had a crush on her, or something. They never slept together or anything, so don’t freak out about that sex before marriage thing. The crush was never acted upon. They just really cared for each other. Like we all cared for each other. But theirs was a little bit more special. It’s like you could see their feelings in the air that moved around them. So Justin went along with the whole party crashing thing. I went with them. I mean there’s power in numbers right? I didn’t want them to go alone, didn’t want them to have to deal with that by themselves. Other kids can be so cruel and I wanted to protect them somehow, defend them if necessary. They had a rough go of it, the two of them. I have it easy. I have a good mother and father, I can get good grades without trying. Everything comes easy to me, except popularity. So Barbie and I went out to get dolled up, got new dresses and everything. Justin got himself some new jeans and a really expensive t shirt; you know the kind that looks worn and beat up but costs fifty bucks? Where you look like you got it at a vintage sale, but everyone knows it cost money? Yeah, that kind. Justin was the one driving, but you know that. You’re asking me what happened so you can put your case together. I know that’s why I’m here. I’m not stupid; I may not be popular, but I’m certainly smart. Look, the accident wasn’t Justin’s fault. I mean, everything was going alright. We were riding along, the music was blaring, we were all dressed to the nines. But we hadn’t had anything to drink, there were no drugs involved, I don’t care what the others say. VERONIQUE COCKS HER HEAD TO THE RIGHT AGAIN AND SHADES HER EYES, BLINKING INTO THE LIGHT. VERONIQUE: Why don’t I care? Because I know the truth. I know what really happened. That’s all that matters, that’s why. You can sit up there, all high and mighty, but I know what really happened. Now, do you want me to finish, or don’t you? SHE SNORTS AND HUFFS OUT A BREATH, BOWING SLIGHTLY TOWARDS THE LIGHT WITH A THEATRICAL HAND FLOURISH. VERONIQUE: Thank you so much for your permission. So we were driving along and we hear squeals behind us, like someone’s hitting the breaks too hard. I look behind us and I see this car swerving on the road, I see Toby Keith behind the wheel. He’s one of the jocks. It looks like he’s already had too much to drink, the way he’s driving. Justin says to me: We should let him pass. Barbie says: We should try and stop him, he could hurt someone. They’re both looking at me as if for confirmation. I shrugged. If there was one thing I could take back, it would be that moment. They say to live your life with no regrets; well that shrug, that moment is mine. I said: Whatever. Just let him pass. If I had said pull over to the side of the road, Justin would have done that. If I had said we should call the cops, Justin would have done it. Instead I just shrugged. I just shrugged my shoulders; that moment cost me three lives. Toby swerved at that moment, barrelling into the side of Justin’s car. He wasn’t a bad driver, I don’t care what the reports say. Justin swerved to avoid Toby; Toby sped on down the road, but our car sped out of control. Justin tried to control the car, tried to keep it under control, but he couldn’t. Have you ever tried to stop a car from sliding across a sheet of ice and snow? I suggest you don’t try it. Justin hadn’t put on his winter tires yet, so there was no traction on the road, nothing to stop his car from slamming into three others. VERONIQUE PUTS HER HEAD DOWN, LOOKING AWAY FROM THE LIGHT. SHE LETS OUT A SLOW BREATH AND WE SEE THAT SHE’S CRYING, THAT SHE’S TRYING TO COVER UP HER SHOW OF EMOTIONS. VERONIQUE: It was like dominoes. Our car hit another car, that car hit another, that car his a pedestrian. I was so scared, but you know what was going through my head? That I was seeing true chaos, true beautiful chaos, at work. After that, our windshield exploded. Then all I remember is blackness. I’m as much responsible for what happened as Justin is, but it wasn’t even his fault. If you’re going to punish someone, punish me. VERONIQUE WIPES AWAY HER TEARS WITH THE SIDE OF HER HAND AND LOOKS BACK UP INTO THE LIGHT. VERONIQUE: Look, that’s all I remember. Can I go now? I don’t feel so good. THE LIGHT BEGINS TO FADE SLOWLY TO BLACKNESS. AS VERONIQUE IS LEFT IN THE DARKNESS, SHE BEGINS TO HUM SLOWLY AGAIN, SINING HER LILTING MELODY. FADE TO BLACK SCENE 2 THE STAGE IS IN DARKNESS. WE CAN HEAR MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND SOFTLY. THE SONG IS “I FEEL PRETTY” FROM WEST SIDE STORY. A LIGHT BEGINS TO BRIGHTEN THE STAGE AND WE CAN SEE BARBIE SITTING ON THE STOOL NOW. SHE IS WRINGING HER HANDS AND SEEMS AGITATED. AS THE LIGHT SLOWLY MOVES TO ITS FULL STRENGTH, THE MUSIC BEGINS TO FADE UNTIL THERE IS SILENCE. BARBIE IS A YOUNG GIRL WITH LIGHT HAIR. SHE IS NERVOUS AND WON’T LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE LIGHT. SHE NODS, AS IF THE VOICE IS SPEAKING TO HER. BARBIE: Yes, I know why I’m here. Do you mind if I smoke? SHE TAKES A PACK OF CIGARETTES OUT OF HER BAG AND OPENS IT, BUT STOPS. BARBIE: Fine, fine, I won’t smoke. It figures you’d be a buzz kill. You spend your whole life wondering about what you’re really like, and you turn out to be as strict as my parents. Besides, I don’t know why you’re so uptight about it. It’s not like smoking can hurt me now, right? STILL LOOKING AWAY FROM THE LIGHT, SHE SHAKES HER HEAD. BARBIE: Fine, whatever. Be that way. I don’t care, you know. I know that nothing in life is fair. THE VOICE SPEAKS AGAIN BUT WE CAN’T HEAR IT. BARBIE STOPS FIDGETING AND GETS UP FROM THE STOOL AND STARTS TO PACE AROUND THE STAGE. BARBIE: Don’t give me that crap about only giving us as much as we can handle. That’s not fair, that’s sadistic. Did you ever consider for a moment that nothing in my life was fair? That all I wanted was for someone to love me, but you couldn’t even give me that? BARBIE LOOKS AT THE LIGHT NOW AND RAISES HER MIDDLE FINGER AT IT AND STICKS OUT HER TONGUE. BARBIE: That’s what I think of that. You talk about never ending grace, about eternal love. I’ve never spoken to you before, why should I care if you love me or not? I don’t even believe in you. SHE PAUSES AND STOPS PACING AS SHE LISTENS. SHE HUFFS OUT AN ANGRY BREATH AND BEGINS TO PACE AGAIN. BARBIE: Look, don’t you get it? I don’t care that you’ve always been there fore me; you have a pretty shitty way of showing how much you love everyone. Don’t you want to hear what happened? About the accident? Isn’t that why I’m here? BARBIE PAUSES AND LISTENS, NOT LOOKING AT THE LIGHT. HER HEAD IS DOWN AND SHE LOOKS AS IF SHE HAS THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON HER SHOULDERS. SHE BEGINS TO PACE AGAIN. BARBIE: Whatever, fine, spare me your shrink crap, okay? My parents send me to enough of those. How many shrinks do you think I can talk to about not “reaching my full potential”? What they really want to know is why I’m not living up to my parents ideals of who I should be. It’s not like I don’t try. I try so hard it hurts. But I’m not popular, I’m not the centre of attention. I don’t get good grades and I’m not pretty like my mother is. I’m not smart like my father is. I know I’m a disappointment. I know I am. All I’ve ever wanted is to fit in, but I can’t. There’s no place for me here. SHE STOPS PACING AND LOOKS AT THE LIGHT, SHIELDING HER EYES FROM ITS BRIGHTNESS. SHE LOOKS AWAY FROM IT, TURNS AWAY FROM IT ALMOST COMPLETELY. BARBIE: I should have figured you’d see everything. I don’t need to show you the cuts on my arms. You know that they’re there already. You’re so powerful with your hoodoo voodoo. You know everything about everyone. You’re like the neighbourhood gossip queen. BARBIE STOPS PACING AND LISTENS TO THE VOICE FOR ONLY A MOMENT BEFORE HUFFING OUT A BREATH. BARBIE: You want to know why I cut myself? Because it hurts. Everything hurts. I have so much emotion in me, so much that begs to be free, but a lady doesn’t show emotion, a lady doesn’t reveal her true feelings, a lady always thinks of everyone else before herself. When I start to feel like I’m going to explode, I...well I think of it as letting the air out of the tires a bit, so that they aren’t so full. Except it’s not air I’m letting out, it’s blood, it’s the anger. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could tell Veronique what I really think of her, how I really feel about her. But it lesbianism is not ladylike, is it? God, could you imagine how my parents would freak out if they found out I was in love with a girl? THE VOICE SPEAKS AND THIS TIME, BARBIE LOOKS AT THE LIGHT. IT’S THE FIRST TIME WE SEE HER NOT LOOKING ANGRY. SHE LOOKS ALMOST PEACEFUL. BARBIE: Oh, I’ve always known. I’ve always known I loved her, always known I couldn’t have her, that she would never love me that way. BARBIE TURNS AWAY FROM THE LIGHT AND WIPES HER EYES WITH HER HANDS, NOT WANTING THE LIGHT TO SEE HER TEARS. SHE GOES BACK TO THE STOOL AND SITS DOWN. BARBIE: Look, can’t we talk about the accident? That’s why I’m here right? I can’t talk about the other stuff right now. It still hurts too much, even now. SHE NODS, NOT SAYING ANYTHING, BUT LOOKS UP AT THE LIGHT. BARBIE: Yeah, I was the one that wanted to go to the party. I mean, why not right? It’s not like they could stop us from going; there’d be so many people there that they’d never even see us. But that would be enough. It would be enough to be there, you know? You should have seen my parents faces when I told them I was going to a popular party; you would have thought I’d taken my first steps, or something. My mother told me that she was so proud of me, that she was so happy for me. All of my hard work was about to pay off, so on and so forth. Seeing that look in her eyes was enough to take away a bit of the pain, enough to combat the fear of being found out at the party. I just wish they could look at me that way normally, you know? When I don’t have to try so hard. It still hurts, you know? So we got all dolled up and went over in Justin’s car. He’s a really good driver, okay? I know that you’re looking for evidence and what not, trying to build your case, so I want you to know right away that he was an excellent driver. I always felt safe with him behind the wheel. Except for that night. I think that was the only accident he was ever in, you know? I don’t really know how it all happened. I just remember watching Justin watch Veronique in the rear view mirror. I was in the passenger seat of the car. I remember Justin said something and I turned my head to see Toby Keith, the jock? His car rushed past us, slammed into us. I remember Justin turning the wheel quickly, trying to stop our car from moving, hitting the breaks. I could hear a hiss of tires along the ice, could hear the crunch of metal. I heard people screaming and wondered what the problem was. All I could see was blackness. BARBIE LISTENS AGAIN, TILTING HER HEAD TO THE LEFT, NOT LOOKING AT THE LIGHT. SHE SHRUGS. BARBIE: You think whatever you want, but it’s not Justin’s fault, none of it was. I mean, I was the one that wanted to go, I was the one that needed to go to the party so I could fit in. If you’re going to blame anyone for what happened, blame me. I mean, if I hadn’t pestered Justin and Veronique to go, nothing would have ever happened right? Everyone would be okay. It wasn’t Justin’s fault. I mean, he didn’t want to go. He seemed kind of nervous about something, but neither Veronique or I could get him to talk about it. I think he just wanted some alone time or something but he came along because I asked him to come. And now look what’s happened. BARBIE LOOKS AWAY FROM THE LIGHT NOW AND HUGS HERSELF, AS IF SHE IS TRYING TO HOLD HERSELF TOGETHER. BARBIE: I never wanted anyone to get hurt, you know? I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to pretend that Veronique and I went to the party together, that we were there as a couple. I know that’s not the way it is, that she didn’t feel that way about me, but a girl can dream, can’t she? Don’t blame Justin though, okay? He doesn’t deserve to suffer for my mistake. They say hindsight is twenty/twenty. They weren’t kidding. I just miss them both so much… SHE HUGS HERSELF TIGHTER AND BEGINS TO ROCK SLOWLY BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH. BARBIE: Can I go now? I just want to be alone… THE LIGHTS BEGIN TO DIM. AS THE LIGHTS GO INTO DARKNESS, WE HEAR THE OPENING BARS OF “I FEEL PRETTY” FROM WEST SIDE STORY. WHEN THE DARKNESS IS COMPLETE, THE MUSIC STOPS IN MID NOTE. FADE TO BLACK SCENE 3 THE LIGHT COMES TO LIFE WITH BLARING FORCE. WE CAN HEAR “GO WEST” BY THE PET SHOP BOYS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. IT’S LOUD, LIKE WE’RE IN A DANCE CLUB. WE CAN SEE JUSTIN ON STAGE AND HE IS DANCING TO THE MUSIC, REALLY GETTING INTO IT, WHEN IT STOPS. HE LOOKS UP AT THE LIGHT AND THE VOICE SPEAKS TO HIM. HE IS YOUNG WITH BLOND HAIR AND BOY NEXT DOOR GOOD LOOKS. HE SMILES UP AT THE LIGHT. JUSTIN: Too loud huh? Sorry about that, I didn’t think anyone else was listening. HE NODS, COCKS HIS HEAD TO THE LEFT. THE VOICE IS SAYING SOMETHING TO HIM THAT WE CAN’T HEAR. JUSTIN: Yeah, I know why I’m here. Of course I do. You want to hear my side of things. There are usually more than two sides to each story right? This one has three…or possibly four. JUSTIN IS QUIET FOR A MOMENT AND GOES TO THE STOOL. HE IS SILENT FOR A MOMENT AS HE MAKES HIMSELF COMFORTABLE. JUSTIN: I always wondered how I was going to die. I just never figured I was going to take people with me, you know? Some people dream about what they’re going to become, others dream of who they will marry. I always dreamed about how I would die. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a morbid person. Just more curious, I guess. You know? JUSTIN LISTENS TO THE VOICE THAT WE CAN’T HEAR. HE NODS AND SMILES. JUSTIN: Right, you want to hear about what happened. Sorry, I lost track of my thoughts for a moment there. You want to hear about the accident right? Well in order to tell you about the accident, I have to tell you what started the whole thing. It was a week ago today. It seems like a long time ago, but it’s not really. When something in your life changes, your life seems to slow down a little bit, takes it’s time, no matter how much you want it to speed up and pass you by. I feel kind of silly wishing for that, the way things are now, but you can’t help what you’ve done in the past. You can only look toward the future. It all started when I saw Toby Keith naked. Well, no, that’s not right either. It started when I knew I was gay. I think in some ways, I’ve always known. I knew I was different, knew that I wasn’t like any of the other boys. I was a freak, but I played on the football team. I played on the football team but I wasn’t popular. It always seemed like my differences made up more of me than my personality did, you know? Like no matter how hard I tried to be different than who I was, the other stuff just kept seeping out. JUSTIN STANDS AND BEGINS TO PACE, SLOWLY. HE SEEMS AGITATED AND UPSET. HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE DIGGING INTO HIS PAST, INTO WHAT HAPPENED. HE HOLDS HIMSELF, WRAPPING HIS ARMS AROUND HIS SIDES. THEN HE DROPS HIS ARMS AND CONTINUES TO PACE. JUSTIN: I was in the locker room after practice one night. I thought there was no one else there, that I was alone. I walked into the showers to find Toby there, already showering. He hadn’t seen me, so I stepped back a bit. I wanted to watch him. I wonder if you think that’s wrong, giving into the temptation of voyeurism. You probably think all things are wrong, right? JUSTIN COCKS HIS HEAD TO THE RIGHT, LISTENING TO THE VOICE. HE SMILES. JUSTIN: That’s what I thought you’d say, but it wasn’t like that. I wasn’t sinning. I was…I don’t know what I was doing. I knew that Toby was straighter than straight, that he didn’t swing the same way I did. But a boy can dream, can’t he? I remember how loud my heart was beating, how loud it seemed to me, as if it filled up the whole room. I had always fantasized about seeing Toby naked and here he was, right in front of me. I ached to touch him. That part of the fantasy never came true. JUSTIN STOPS TALKING, RETURNS TO THE STOOL. HE SITS AND LOOKS INTO THE LIGHT THAT SHINES DOWN ON HIM, BLINKS INTO IT. HE SNORTS OUT A LAUGH. JUSTIN: I figured you’d say something like that. But I couldn’t help it, I was like a kid at a candy store window. Until Toby opened his eyes and saw me looking at him. I was afraid. The beating of my heart sped up and the loudness of it echoed inside of me. Time seemed to slow down, to screech to a silent halt. Toby and I looked at each other, he looked at the tent in my underwear. He knew. I was so afraid. I nearly peed myself when he leaped out of the shower and pushed me up against the lockers. He promised me the next time he saw me, I would be dead. I believed him. You don’t look in someone’s eyes and see the hate I did and not believe him, you know? JUSTIN STOPS TALKING AND BLINKS INTO THE LIGHT, SHIELDS HIS EYES FROM ITS BRIGHTNESS. HE HUFFS OUT AN IMPATIENT BREATH. JUSTIN: Look, I know there are bad people in the world, you don’t have to tell me that. But we all have free will right? We can all choose our own path, despite what might already be laid out for us. The thing is, Toby Keith had a choice. We all have a choice. I could have chosen to walk on, to walk by Toby, to make my presence known. I could have chosen to come out of the closet; I could have chosen to let him know that I was there. I didn’t. I chose to look instead, to indulge in one moment of fantasy come to life. I know that, I understand that. But don’t blame Veronique or Barbie for what happened. What happened wasn’t their fault. It was mine. JUSTIN SLIDES OFF OF THE STOOL AND BEGINS TO PACE, HUGGING HIMSELF, HOLDING HIMSELF TOGETHER. JUSTIN: It was horrible. I remember that look in Toby’s eyes. He told me he would kill me. The next time he saw me, he would kill me. I knew that he would make good on his promise. I avoided him all week and even skipped football practice. Veronique and Barbie knew that something was wrong, that I wasn’t right, but what could I tell them? Guess what girls, I’m gay and, oh by the way, I managed to piss off the most popular guy in the school while I was checking him out in the shower? JUSTIN SNORTS OUT A LAUGH TURNING BACK TO THE LIGHT, BLINKING AT ITS BRIGHTNESS. JUSTIN: Please. As if they would believe me. I felt like what was inside me was a…disease. I know that it’s not, don’t get me wrong, but how could I justify who I was with who I pretended to be? I agreed to go to the party only for Barbie’s sake. She’s got it really rough, her parents being such nasty people and treating her like shit all the time. Veronique has it a little better, but her parents might as well not be there; they don’t notice her. She’s like a ghost in her own home. So I figured we’d have a fun night, crash a party and have some drinks, blend into the crowd. I should have known that it wouldn’t go that way. I could feel it, you know? You know when something bad is about to happen and the bottom of your stomach drops? I felt like that, as soon as in the car. But I went anyway, for Barbie; for Veronique. I heard the squeal of tires behind us and saw Toby in the rear view mirror. He knew the make of my car, could see us through the car windows. I don’t know if it as a conscious thought to run us off the road. I know he probably didn’t mean to cause an accident; just give me a scare, get his revenge and make his message clear. I knew he’d been drinking, I could see that from the way he’d been driving. All the jocks drank and drove to parties. It was the way they did things, right? Why should he be any different? I looked in my rear view mirror and could see Barbie in the back, she was saying something but I couldn’t hear the words she was speaking. Instead all I could see was Toby’s eyes in the mirror, narrowing into slits. Time slowed down for me then. I saw him swerve and step on the gas pedal, and when he swerved again, I knew that he was aiming for us. That he was aiming for me. JUSTIN WALKS BACK TOWARDS THE STOOL BUT DOESN’T SIT. INSTEAD HE LOOKS UP AT THE LIGHT THAT IS ALMOST BLINDING HIM. JUSTIN: People always say that your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die. I can tell you that’s a bunch of bullshit. All that flashed in front of my eyes were the panicked faces of Veronique and Barbie, all I could hear was the screech of metal as Toby’s car rammed into mine and my car rammed into another. My heart beat seemed so loud, louder than Barbie’s screams or Veronique saying “Oh God, oh, God, oh God” over and over again. When the final crash came, when the windshield shattered, the glass hitting everything sounded like music, like notes sung on a flute. It struck me as odd that something so painful, something so catastrophic, could also be so beautiful. JUSTIN WALKS TO THE CORNER OF THE STAGE AND SITS, PULLING HIS LEGS UP AND WRAPPING HIS ARMS AROUND THEM. HE LOOKS UP AT THE LIGHT, STARING RIGHT INTO IT, NOT BOTHERING TO SHADE HIS EYES FROM THE GLARE. JUSTIN: I had always wondered how I was going to die. I never even thought of a car crash as an option. I always imagined it would be a bit more theatrical, like sharks in the water, or a freak unicycle accident. Who knew that I would be killed in a car crash by a dumb jock who tried to run me off the side of the road? Who knew that I would take my two best friends with me? They say hindsight is twenty/twenty… I wish foresight could be a bit more. I wish I could go back to that day and change everything. You want to know if I think I deserve to get into Heaven, or whatever the afterlife has for me? Because of me, my two best friends are dead. The three of us lost our lives and I can never give them back. I can never give them back. I won’t ever breathe again, won’t hear my heartbeat. You want to know if I deserve to get into Heaven? You ask me, and I’ll tell you that I’m already in hell. JUSTIN LOOKS AWAY FROM THE LIGHT AND HIS HEAD HANGS DOWN. AS THE LIGHTS BEGIN TO FADE, WE HEAR THE SOUND OF MUSIC. AS THE DARKNESS DESCENDS, WE REALIZE IT IS VERONIQUE HUMMING “MY FAVOURITE THINGS” SOFTLY. SHE IS JOINED BY BARBIE. AS THE DARKNESS BECOMES ALMOST COMPLETE, WE SEE THEM MAKE THEIR WAY TOWARDS JUSTIN. BEFORE THEY REACH HIM, THE LIGHT FLARES TO LIFE ONCE MORE, BRIGHT AND BLINDING AND ONLY FOR AN INSTANT. WE SEE JUSTIN LOOK UP AND INTO THE LIGHT BEFORE THE STAGE FALLS INTO BLACKNESS. FADE TO BLACK FIN About the Author Jamieson has been writing since a young age when he realized he could be writing instead of paying attention in school. Since then, he has created many worlds in which to live his fantasies and live out his dreams. He is the author of over thirty books including the number one best selling novel Hard and the best selling Written Word series. He currently lives in Ottawa Ontario Canada with his husband Robert and his cat, Mave, who thinks she's people. Visit Jamieson at www.jamiesonwolf.com