Tears From a Clown
T.F.B.
Tears From a Clown
By Tyler Brown (T.F.B)
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 Tyler Brown (T.F.B)


Jake sat against the brick wall of the old comedy club he used to perform in. His clothes a ragged ruined mess, covered up by an oversized trench coat, wrapped around like a blanket. His beard was now long and dirty, still holding the crumbs and remains from the already rotten food he scavenged for. A stocking cap kept his head warm from this cloudy, cold rain season. Puffs of his thick long brown hair stuck out all around it like overgrown grass around the outside of a fence. He was holding a bowl with six cents in it.
The street had its steady share of visitors. Labeled by the natives as Paradise Ends, is the section of run down apartments and stores of the business district of Castle Falls, a small city in Illinois. The reason for the name is because of the location of shops that lined the street. Several bars and liquor stores, the most popular being Pussy Liquor, a larger store with bars on the window and a picture of a giant black cat on the sign. Other shops included porn and sex toy shops, followed up with a nice dose of a porn theater, currently showing Buster Jackson Taps Black Ass.
The homeless shelter sat on the end, next to it sat an old gun store, across from that was the Paradise Apartment Complex. The apartment was filled of people of all races, who were the common income and enemy of the homeless, but they were the best makeup of a ghetto if Castle Falls ever had one. Hyena Hounds was an old comedy club and bar that was still in use. Now used only on Friday nights for stand up. On occasion it was even rented out on other nights of the week for a wedding or a birthday.
Jake used to perform there about 12 years ago. Then he was twenty two, held by the dreams of being a stand-up comic and hopefully crossing over into television and movies like all of his idols. Jake went with the only dream he had. After being expelled from his High School back in his home town of Gatlif, Illinois, he ran away from his dysfunctional family to Castle Falls, Illinois. He had an old booty call that would take him in till he got on his feet. For about 3 years he lived with her, Jasmine. A black girl his white family would disapprove of, but she had a great sense of humor and was great in bed. He would test his jokes on her then slap her ass into bed.
Jasmine, six years older than him, worked as a stripper and a drug dealer. She lived in Paradise Ends with Jake as her couch guest. They never considered themselves a couple, and for reasons Jake never told her, he knew she slept with other guys. Jake didn't care, there was no love, just a place to sleep and wet his dick till he got on his own. About two years after Jake moved out Jasmine got into porn and worked a call girl service. She was soon murdered…the price of hooking without a Pimp. Jake saw all of this before it happened.
 The world had infinite number of doors, each carrying numerous chances of opportunity. As soon as one shut, Jake would kick that door open and soak in the opportunity. Jake had one problem though. He was gifted, with an ability that told him about Jasmines secret boyfriends and her unfortunate death. When Jake came into contact with the skin of another person, flashes of the person's secrets and their future would open up before his eyes. A trick Jake was never scared of, since he has always seemed to have it. As a child it told him of his parent’s cocaine and his older brother's gay fetishes. When Jake got older he became quite the ladies man, since he could see which girls put out more than others, he got laid easily. Another benefit from this was that since he could learn other people's secrets by the simple brush of hand to hand contact, it made him a great insult comic against anyone who challenged him.
“Look at the queer's haircut! He's just as gay as his older brother!” yelled Jordan, a bully on the playground when Jake was only twelve. Jordan was a white kid who acted black; he was fourteen and was still in the sixth grade. Throughout the school year Jordan had pushed and hit him enough for Jake to gather enough images of him to strike back.
“At least my brother is comfortable with who he is! You’re the one who gets confused by the hard-ons you get when your dad beats you!”
This lead to the blushing on Jordan’s cheeks, and shock and awe all over his face. People laughed at this till Jake had to run like hell to keep from getting beaten to death. In high school he was quite the class clown, getting away with smart ass comments that eventually lead to his expulsion. His math teacher Mr. Gibson called him out on Jake's bad grades in front of the class a few too many times. Jake stood up, walked over and shoved him as hard as he could. Gibson fell, trying to grab the white board as he did, smearing that day’s equations. In those couple seconds Jake was able to see the visions he needed.
“You insult me you pathetic piece of shit!? You took advantage of a mentally challenged girl who was in detention! Took her in the bathroom for her first blowjob! Oh, wait your first blowjob too! Forty seven and still a virgin! I'm eighteen and I've spilled more seed than Michael J. Fox trying to plant roses! In high school you were an angry nerd with no friends who formed a meth addiction! Why don't you do the world a favor and take off your belt and hang yourself in the janitor's closet you fuckin nerdy lonely bitch!”
The class was silent and that was the last time Jake ever had to do math in his lifetime.
The dream of becoming the world's greatest insult comic seemed simple, but bad images weren't the only things he could see. He saw tons of positives in people, but it was always the bad that stood out from the good. It really wasn't hard for Jake to see the world as an evil place, with his family life, and all the bad he saw. Instead of giving into the dark, he embraced it, acknowledged it for what it was and chose to be a parody of it. Jake saw it as a great chance to make something of himself, something greater than anyone in his family could ever be. His family hated him, his teacher's gave up on him but he knew if he could only make one good thing happen, something that would make a mark, he could live happily. Jake's only problem was, he could not see into his own future and if Jake had, he would have never attempted such a chance.
A man walked passed Jake and tossed a quarter into his bowl. “Cheap bastard,” he mumbled to himself. Jake was hoping to make enough money to buy a bag of chips. He would rather eat anything than the soup they served at the homeless shelter. He was swearing he saw the volunteers picking up road kill dog for the meat. Depression overcame Jake and he laid his head against the wall and tried to figure out what went so wrong with his life?
He performed every night at the Hyena and usually would get a good reaction from the crowd. The first nights were the worst; he would stutter his speech, sweat a lot and forget his material. Fear over took him, all the constant stares, all judging him. The crowd would heckle him, and he would try his best to fight back but he was made more into the fool.
After one of these bad performances a woman came up to him and said, “Maybe you should give this up? It’s getting brutal.”
Jake quit for a few weeks, still crashing at Jasmine's place with no money. He would get her drunk and steal some of her tip money from stripping to buy clothes, food or whatever he needed. On one of these nights he was walking into a gas station to buy a candy bar and a drink when he noticed a cop. He was shaking the hand of the clerk, introducing himself. They made chitchat about him being a new deputy for Castle Falls, but this isn't what struck Jake, it was the gesture. A handshake, so simple and most people wouldn't even know what he was trying to do. A smile of pure joy splattered its way across his face; he became so lost in this new idea he almost got arrested by the new deputy by forgetting to pay for his goods.
The following Friday he signed up for open mic and the club owner Carson, an extremely plump man disapproved. “C’mon kid give it up! I want my audience to laugh not bitch about how funny my comedians are!”
Jake smiled, “Nice, look I'll make you a deal. If I do another terrible job, I will never show my face in the club again, not even as a customer. What do you say?”
Jake held out his hand and Carson took it with a tight grip, “Deal.”
That Friday Carson got up on stage, wearing a tight white shirt, with heavy sweat patches forming from his massive armpits. The lights gave a nice shine to the top of his balding head.
“Tonight for our first comedian is a man I believe most of you are tired of seeing, Jake Sanders! He made a promise to me the other day that if he fails again he will never come back in here, let’s hope we get that lucky!” The crowd chuckled and cheered at his comments.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Jake Sanders!” Boos erupted from the crowd, but Jake did not appear. Instead, he came through the crowd attempting to shake every hand in the audience. People reacted odd to this but gave them their hands. He got majority of the crowd and ran up to the front of the stage.
“Sorry! I want to make sure I shake all the hands of the people that have hated me all this time! Say, what about the owner of this place Carson? Ain’t he a swelling peach? I swear every time I see that fat bastard he probably gains another few pounds or so. A little bird told me he was poor growing up and his parents could only afford macaroni and cheese to eat. So that's why he got fat, or that was the stories he would tell his classmates in grade school before he stole the candy bars from their desks when they weren't looking.”
A couple of chuckles came from the crowd but not much. Jake could see Carson staring a hole through him, so Jake decided to hit him with a bullet.
“Did you guys know when Carson was 15 his mom ran off with a 20 year old to do drugs? She was a fatty too; I heard she lost a lot of weight from her drug use. Carson should take pointers from her.  Carson had a dad too, but he was an alcoholic and his mom kicked him out. Carson hasn't seen either of his parents in years. Hey you know what I had growing up? A family!”
The laughs started coming from the crowd and Jake ventured on.
“Hey did anyone ever notice Carson's hands? They have got some fat ass fingers. They are like sausages! Hey you know what they say about fat fingers don't you? A fat chance at having sex!”
The laughs finally began and it was music to his ears. He then began working on the crowd and one by one people that got attacked were angry but eventually laughed in good humor. People tried to heckle him but all failed. At the end of the show people gave him a roaring cheer. He bowed and left the stage. He beat all the comedians that night and his career began.
Despite all the attacks on Carson, he wanted Jake back to perform, the one thing the fat bastard loved more than mac and cheese was money. Jake's reputation grew, and he began traveling to different clubs. He commonly traveled by train and buses. He made very little money but he was finally able to make enough to move out of Jasmines and get an apartment in Paradise Ends. He had no running water or electricity, just an old couch he slept on, with pizza boxes scattered on the floor. He would rip the tops off and try to write little jokes and insults he thought of off the top of his head.
The ugly truth was, the longer he was a comedian, the more depressed he became. After five years his career hadn't turned around, he didn't own a car, so he couldn't get booked at far away shows that couldn't be accessed by train. He would spend days in between shows staring out the window of his apartment seeing the people of the streets. The homeless scattered against the edges of the building sipping their cheap booze. He heard that a lot of stand-up comedians never made it and lived depressed a lot of their lives. Jake prayed he would never end up that way.
Over time the booking became scarcer. He was limited on where he could play. He had attacked many of the audience members more than once, which helped kill his career. People did not like being heckled every week by him and it went from funny to bad. People began not appearing at his shows, not appreciating the several torments. More and more ghost seats appeared in the crowd, and eventually the clubs denied him access to perform. All the comedy clubs and even Carson's fat ass turned him down at the Hyena. Just like that Jake's career as a comedian was over. The last night Jake was in his apartment before he was evicted, he cried. It was the first time in years.
He only wanted to do one great thing with his life. He kicked open the doors of opportunity and tried to make his mark, but it failed. Jasmine was dead by this point and Jake had nowhere to go except the street. Jake hadn't spoken to his family in years and was too headstrong to go back to them, if they even were alive. After several years of living on the street Jake still remained, lying against the old comedy club, the tombstone of his career. A constant reminder of the failure he has made at life.
A man wearing an outdated blue jacket and tie passed Jake on the street. He wore dark sunglasses, had a balding head and smelled of strong cologne. He peeked down at Jake, who had raised his head for change.
“Get a fucking job!” he said with an impressed smirk.
Luckily for Jake he knew about this guy’s life. They lived in Paradise Ends down the hall from where Jake used to live. He didn't know what his name was but he did know his wife, Jessica. She constantly slept around with men of all ages. Jake didn't need to graze her hand to see this. He slept with her on occasion. She had a tattoo of a bird up high on the inside of her thigh. You would have to get in her pants to see this.
“Do you like Cardinals? Your wife sure does, especially when you shoot your load all over the bird.” Jake said almost bored.
The smirk vanished from his face; he mumbled some insult and moved on.
The summary of Jake's life is short and bittersweet. A lot of it was quite enjoyable but it took a dark turn. Jake's depression of being homeless has decomposed over the years. He got used to the street life. Begging for change, sleeping in boxes and chumming with the other intoxicated and drug induced parasites. The soup kitchen was the only aid in Paradise Ends. No one ever cared and no one ever will, except one person.
Jake had met a young girl around the age of 10 that lived in Paradise Ends. Coming from a single mom, she was very playful and friendly. Her name was Bonnie and she had an addicting smile that made others shine. The light from the sun would bounce off her golden curls as she played jump rope with other neighborhood kids. While all the other kids either laughed or ignored Jake she would smile and drop change in his bowl. It could have been pennies or quarters, Jake didn't care. He would smile and shake her hand and a world of images would fill his mind with accomplishments and generosity. It was very rare that he could find someone who had such a clean soul. If Heaven existed she could have beaten Jesus to the door.
He saw her grow up to work with and aid the poor. She works and cleans up Paradise Ends, married a lawyer, he is good to her, they have children and she lives the rags to riches story. She is beyond beautiful in her older age. Jake gets teary eyed to see this. He slept well knowing this girl would grow up and be the true American dream.
Virtually every day she came to give him change and he would shake her hand and get high off the images of the good blessing. As Jake sat here with the bowl in his hands he saw her come around the corner with some other little girls laughing. She was eating a push up, with it dripping the melted sherbet down the side, covering up the Flintstones characters. She was smiling of course, laughing with the other girls. She turned her face, her golden curls bouncing away. She walked up and dropped a single quarter into his bowl.
“God Bless you!” Jake said with excitement.
She smiled and took his hand for a quick handshake, a process they did every day. Jake took Bonnie's hand and felt the warm feelings flood his mind like ice cold water down a dry throat. He felt the warm colors, saw her graduate from High School, an image her saw many times followed up by College, but today it was different. She hardly made it out of her Graduation gown. She was in Paradise Ends and a man in a black t-shirt and Jeans had pushed her down in the alley. Homeless people looked on in a curious expression like it was a fucking TV show. She was crying as he tore her gown open, holding a knife to her throat. With each thrust she cried more and he moaned, pushing his grinning face against her cheek, pushing down and a pool of drool rolled out of his mouth. A flash of a knife stabbing her body multiple times, the colors red and black followed, ending with her half naked red body in the alley as the homeless looked on.
Terror broke across Jake's face as he let go. Luckily Bonnie didn't seem to notice; she turned and walked on with her friends. Jake was horrified by that grinning image. He couldn't get the image out of his head, the bloody body, and her screams. The homeless looked on and did nothing! She was going to fight for them! Their savior and they ignored it! How could this happen? Jake never saw the future change like that. He didn't know it could change, how could a God anywhere allow a great person die like that. How could a God give him this gift with a great benefit to all of a sudden change his fucking mind!
Jake was never sure if his future seeing was a gift or not. He hated it and now, he was in disbelief that this was going to happen. His heart felt heavy, he didn't know what to do. Jake had one shining light and it changed out of the blue. She would be another victim in Paradise Ends.
By the time the darkness had fell on Paradise Ends Jake had sat frozen with tears dried in his beard. He was more miserable now than ever. He had always wished this girl could have been a daughter he could love. Hell, he loved her soul which more than some husbands can do for their wives. A single thought crossed his mind. Maybe if the future changed, it could be changed again. Jake was sick of worrying about a God to do it. Maybe he could? He saw no way to solve the equation. He wanted more than ever to know who the killer was. He only saw his clothes and that grin. It made Jake shudder some more
Days passed and Jake sat in his same spot every day. More depressed than ever, Jake began to spend his earnings on liquor instead of the quart of milk he preferred. Bonnie, kind as ever came by and did the usual ritual. She was just generally nice, she never bothered to think of the strange attitude this homeless man had. Little did she know she would be killed on the very streets that she was destined to heal. Every time he touched her hand he kept seeing the same images. Jake was not sure if he could take them anymore. Each time he felt his health get worse, his stomach turn and a sharp pain in his chest.
Jake began to wonder if years of the street have stunted his thinking process. He felt like he was going mad. He let the future of a little girl destroy his well-being. He never had felt this way about anyone, not even Jasmine. He was crying out inside to whatever God existed asking him about this gift turned curse. Right when his sympathy opened up to a complete stranger he becomes brokenhearted by the end.
“Why...Why...Fucking answer me! You already put me on the street, at least give me a fucking answer or a solution? Why change her future?”
 As if a sign to Jake opened up before him he heard a cat screech loud and was muffled. Jake broke his trance and heard something get thrown into a trash can. He stood up and looked around the alley and saw a boy come running past him. The little boy bumped into him and took off before Jake could get a good look at him. Jake saw enough. The bump caused a flash of images. Billy was around 12 years old, a pale fat kid that just moved into Paradise Ends because his dad lost his job. He saw Billy stomp a stray cat lying in the alley. He struck it twice, getting a sick pleasure at the crush of it under his shoe. He picked it up and chucked it into a dumpster before anyone would notice. He didn't want to be beaten like the time he stabbed the hamster with a needle repeatedly until it died. His dad was enraged by that and Billy felt the bedroom door slam on his head till he saw black.
Jake walked over to the trash can. Curious as a cat, this made Jake break a small smile at the sick joke. The cat from the images lay in the can. Fresh and dead, the maggots of this Paradise would dine in time on the kitty, just like Jake will do, and now Bonnie. He shivered at the thought. Great, not only did he find out Bonnie would be raped and murdered he also has a deranged little boy killing the native strays of the Paradise. Jake sat down at his spot against the wall. He thought over the unfortunate events. He felt fulfilled in a way. He had never felt so much conflict since before he became homeless; it was kind of nice to feel something different than the boring life of the streets.
Jake thought about Billy. He never got a good look at the chunky little boy but he felt his soul. It was dark with dark intentions. He didn't get a glimpse at his future but he did have a good idea of what it was. Billy had all the making of being a serial killer. He had pleasure with killing animals; it would only be a matter of time before his hunger came for humans. Back in Jake's younger days he had read a large book on different killers and the making of them. Torturing and killing an animal was a good early sign.
It was then Jake had an epiphany. Bonnie's future changed around the time Billy moved into the Paradise, Billy had the early signs of being a serial killer… Billy could be the killer! Jake thought this over...how could this all happen so sudden? He never thought in a million years he would be able to pinpoint a killer, let alone so fast.
Jake had to be sure. He couldn't get the eerie connection out of his mind. He had to be sure. Bonnie can't die. This homeless man would have to do some detective work. Jake had to shake his hand and read the boys future. If Billy would really be a serial killer Jake should be able to pinpoint his victims. Since Jake had a connection with Bonnie and has heard her screams, he bet he could easily find her in his future if she existed.
Now Jake's next plan was to wait and find Billy. It would only be a matter of time before he found him, then the next step was, what would Jake do about it?
Over the course of the next few days Jake did not beg for change, instead he hung around Paradise Ends, looking for Billy, who seemed to be missing. Jake assumed the boy was most likely a loaner and probably spent most of his time indoors, until his urges to kill came to be. Jake was becoming more and more anxious to see the kid. The unknown was killing him, so Jake turned to drastic measures.
Jake walked out of Paradise Ends and towards the suburbs, keeping his eyes on the lookout for cop cars. He knew the police in this area were not too positive of the homeless and would make him leave. He made his way to North Towers Park, where you could always find people enjoying the outdoors during nice weather. He spotted an elderly woman in a pink sweater eating her lunch on a park bench.
She had an oversized purse to her right. It lay open and she was currently peeling an orange. A child yelled at her from the sandbox and she responded with a kind smile.
“That's nice dear!”
It occurred to Jake that she was watching her grandchildren, and Jake found his distraction. He watched hunkered down behind a tree several feet away. Her grandchildren were two young boys and they eventually made their way over to the giant slide on Grandma's left. She turned her body and total direction to face them, leaving her large open purse to her back. This was the moment Jake was waiting for and made his move.
He walked on the balls of his feet toward her purse, moving softly but slowly to avoid the old bat's attention. She was old and her senses were weak making this the perfect opportunity for him. He reached his arm quickly over the bench and he saw a cell phone laying within in it. This made it all the more easy; he slipped his hand in and took the phone without the need to take the purse.
He hid the phone under his trench coat and made his way back to Paradise Ends. The phone was pretty dated, but he was positive elderly people had finally adapted to cell phone use. He felt bad for the grandma for what he was about to do; she would be the prime suspect once they trace her number, but he knew that she would be fine once they realize her phone had been stolen. He flipped it open and dialed 911.
“911 what’s your emergency?”
“Well I placed a bomb in the Paradise Ends Apartment Complex in Castle Falls, Illinois. I intend to blow the fucker up within the next three hours!”
He hung up the phone and made his way to a drainage vent, really hoping this would work, he dropped it in.  He really didn’t want to steal another phone.
Only a couple minutes later he heard the sirens, saw the police and the fire department arrive in Paradise Ends. The building went through an evacuation process, and several of the people were restless. The coke whores bitched and yelled, mascara smeared clothes, small and dirty. Most of the men walked out in muscle shirts. One man wore just that and a pair of faded blue jeans. He was of a massive figure, towering over most and had an easy 100 pounds over Jake. Walking close behind him out of the building was the fat pale figure of a boy, Billy; he looked tired and annoyed with a nice black eye for an extra touch. He was following the towering man close. He was clearly his father.
They made it to the evacuation area down the street, everyone huddled and bitching. Jake walked up towards Billy and his Dad. Billy was listening closely as his dad began bitching to his neighbors.
“A fucking prank is all it is!”
A woman with red hair wearing a leopard robe was smoking a cigarette and responded. “They better hurry up and let us back in! I gotta get my beauty rest before I go to work tonight!”
“Ha! Work is a joke! I worked for on my hands and knees for 15 years and all I got was a shove out the door! Now I gotta put up with this bullshit!”
“Honey I have worked on my hands and knees every night and I'm not complaining.”
“If I got laid for money I wouldn't complain either! Business can't be booming that well for you either, being that you still live in this hell hole!”
“Prices for sex have gone down these days; men are really into sick shit anymore!”
Jake walked close behind Billy and brushed the back of his head with his hand. Images flashed into his eyes, several events played out. A pillow is pressed against his dads face while sleeping and a knife quickly enters the pillow and blood soaks through the front. A young boy is tied to a bed post and is whipped and beaten with a belt then finally shot through the face. He saw and heard dozens of people screaming and crying as each victim felt Billy's horror.
The images were quick because Jake only got a slight touch when he jerked forward.
“Dad that homeless man tried to grab me!”
The father turned, “You tryin to pull somethin faggot?!”
Jake did not expect this and just gave him a smile and turned away. He felt in this situation it was best to keep his mouth shut.
“Don't you fucking turn on me boy!”
He felt his arm grabbed and was turned around. A sharp pain entered his arm and he saw flashes of this man's life. He ignored all of it.
“You got somethin for touching my boy?”
“Nah, but you sure do.” Jake pointed at the shiner on Billy's face.
Without missing a beat the man gave Jake a shiner too. The hit drove him to the ground and he felt his world spin. He tried his hardest to keep from blacking out. He saw a mixture of the real world and The Towering Man's life. One image he did see made his skin turn. Billy was staring at Jake and a very familiar grin had spread across his face. Jake was for sure now, Billy was going to kill Bonnie in the future.
“Got anything else to say asshole!?”
Jake stood up, feeling his left eye begin to swell. He smiled, “Nope!” Then he left as quickly as possible so he would not get his ass kicked some more.
Now, Jakes suspicions could be verified. That grin matched the one in Bonnie's future. Billy was going to murder Bonnie. Now intense anger was beginning to fill Jake as he made his way down the street. The look on Billy's face kept replaying in his mind. Jake now knew what he had to do. He was going to kill the boy in order to keep Bonnie from being killed.
Killing the boy did not seem morally wrong to Jake. At this point in his life he had few moral values. Most of all, he saw Billy as more of a devil than a person. His only fear was that when the moment came, when Billy was in his reach, he felt that maybe he would not have the courage to finish the job, but Jake had to do it. He would do it for Bonnie.
Over the next few days Jake built a plan. He needed to get the boy out in the open all alone. Jake had no gun but there were plenty more tools that Jake could kill him with. The boy's father would be difficult to fool and he kept him on a short leash. Jake knew a bit about serial killers, he thought the boy would need to feed his aggression, and when the time came Jake would strike. He would kill to save a life and probably many more. In a sense he would look to be an unknown hero, but if caught he would be a child murderer and a monster to the world.
He had no problem facing jail. Warm food and a place to sleep every night would be more pleasant than the street. His only fear was being beaten and killed. He had heard stories of child murderers and rapists being killed in prison by other prisoners. Apparently it was not a popular thing to do in jail. So Jake decided to do everything he could to get away with it. If police investigated the dead boy they would point a finger at any of the scum in Paradise Ends. Jake could slip away easily.
The sun was warm as Jake walked down the street, going in no general direction. He passed many people but his head was down, he let his long dirty hair cover his face and he kept his hands in his pockets. Later Jake could not decide if it was fate or destiny for the next event to happen. An old Ford Truck was chugging its way down the street. Jake recognized the truck belonging to Martin Dreyfuss the owner of Paradise Ends. Jake knew him well since they shared many words about why Jake couldn't make pay for his rent.
The old rusted truck rolled down the road, Martin was a balding man who was chewing on a cigar. Jake noticed the old street cat first. An obese orange cat was limping its way in front of Martin's truck. Martin did not see it at all as his front right tire rolled right over the back end of the old cat and it yelled out a defeated cry. The bump was enough to make Jake stop his truck. He pulled over to the side of the street and got out and saw the cat rolling around in the street. The truck had hit its back legs crushing the hips, rendering them useless. Now the crying cat began rolling and crawling its way off the road. Jake had never seen a stray animal act this way.
Martin looked over and saw Jake. “Goddamn shame that had to happen! Too many of them strays runnin loose these days.”
Jake smiled, “Reminds me of an old cat my brother had, Mr. Squeezy. Dad backed him over in the driveway when he was leaving for work. Little bastard died quick though. Looks like you crippled this one.”
“Ah, well there are plenty of cats in this neighborhood that I don't think anyone will pay attention to this one. Hey at least it will give you and the rest of the bums something to eat right?! Haha! Hey I'm only kidding.”
“Right.”
“Hey did you hear what happened the other day? Some asshole called in a bomb threat on my building. Can you believe that? I swear probably some fuckin lowlife teenager.”
“Like your building is for high society people.”
Martin glared, “Hey mister! I think I remember a little washed up kid like you who couldn't even make rent in that building! Now look at you, eating from the trash cans those ‘High Society People’ eat out of! So I wouldn't get smart with me!”
“Like I need another black eye”
“That's right! By the way who gave you that shiner anyway?”
“One of your tenants, big guy has a son named Billy.”
Martin smiled, “Oh! Rodger! Yeah he would be the one to do it! He actually lives in the apartment right across from where you lived. Unlike you he makes his rent on time. Well I better get going; I gotta get back to work! You know that thing you never do! See ya!”
Jake turned away, excitement filled him with the new information he learned.
“Jake! Take care of that cat for me will ya! That crying isn't going to stop anytime soon!” Martin said from his truck window as he sped down the street.
A smile spread across Jake's face. He saw the dying cat try to push its fat belly up on the sidewalk.  He now knew where the boy lived. The alleyway where Jake first saw the boy when he killed the cat was right between the Hyena and the apartment. The room right across the hall looks down on the alley. Billy noticed the cat from the window, when the coast was clear he would have made his way downstairs to kill it. Jake didn't see that in the boy in the two times he made contact with him but he was positive it was true. That cat never stopped crying and it was music to Jake's ears. He now had a plan.
 The clouds rolled in pregnant with fresh rain. This did not bother Jake, for it helped his plan even more. The rain would put the beggars into shelter, giving Jake the peace and quiet of the dark alley. Jake had grabbed the crying cat by the fat on its neck and picked it up like a garbage bag and laid it in the alley. Jake went to the dark back corner of the alley and hid in the darkness, eyes focused on the upstairs window, the second in a row of three.
Jake heard not the crying from the cat, only his thoughts; a million voices asking him the purpose.
“Why do you do this Jake? You have nothing to do with that girl.”
Jake smiled, “How little do you know! You live in my head and you can't even read my fucking mind.”
“Who gave you those images Jake? I did! I showed you what you wanted to see.”
“What the hell you mean by that?”
“Jake why did your stand up career fail? Your insults didn't work.”
Jake's face fell into confusion, and his anger overcame him. If anyone would have noticed Jake they would have thought he was talking to someone in the window of the Hyena. In reality he was having a conversation with his faint reflection.
“How can you tell me that? Didn't you see the reactions of the people I tormented?
“I did and they only smiled at you, not with you. Jake, those people kept your short career going because you were crazy and they enjoyed laughing at you. You have no special gift Jake. You always wished you did. The images you saw were me inventing them for you. You don't know what people's secrets are and I invent the futures for you.”
“You’re lying! You know damn well what this little girl is capable of doing for people like us! You also know what Billy is planning on doing to her!”
“Jake you know nothing of this girl, you just think she’s a sweet adorable little girl, and all of her future and images of her soul were invented within you.”
“Then why did I do it!? Why did I waste my entire life haunted by my own imagination!?”
Jake felt the rain begin to trickle on his clothes, beads of water began to slip down the window he was staring into.  
“You were afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Being a man. You have always had an inventive imagination, as you got older you became lost on who you were. Adulthood began hitting you like cold air, so you ran from it. You didn't want to pay bills and take care of your responsibilities. You ran from school and your home, convincing yourself that you have a special ability to take you places and make money, but it only got you so far. You had a good run, but now look at yourself. You’re sitting in the alley waiting to kill a child who probably is just a bit of an outcast and not as bad you want to believe.”
“Well, what about Jasmine? I saw she was going to die before it happened!”
“Jake, Jasmine left you. She left the city to start a career elsewhere, she didn't die. She died in your mind and you died in her heart. She really loved you and she would tell you that but you never heard her. You always thought she was unfaithful but she wasn't. Jasmine always thought of you two as a couple but you never acknowledged that. Your mind was somewhere else.”
Jake began to tremble. “Why do you haunt me?”
“I'm trying to keep you from doing something you are going to regret.”
“Then tell me this; why all of a sudden do you come to my aid now?! After all the years of me wasting my life you come to me now!”
“I always have Jake! You pretend that you don't hear it! So many choices you had to make I told you what to do but you intend to do the opposite! You didn't listen to me then and I beg you to listen to me now!”
Jake began to laugh, “To hell with this! I'm going to save that girl and there is not a fucking thing you can do stop me!”
The voice in Jake's head began to yell into a screech that hurt, and he hit his head against the wall of the Hyena till he saw stars. The voice had stopped and Jake cleared his mind and began to focus on the cat. Jake looked up and saw a face staring down on the cat. It was Billy and he slowly moved from the window.
The blood in Jake's body began to pump and he felt his hands shake with adrenaline. In the distance of his mind he heard a voice yelling at him but Jake ignored it. He had almost completely forgotten the conversation he had with himself. Jake sat hidden in the dark like an anaconda waiting in the dark shallows for its prey to come close.
Minutes ticked away and the rain had drenched Jake. He felt his nerves began to rattle his body and he remained focused on entrance to the alley. The rain had helped; no one remained on the street, only the flickering neon signs from the sex shops played into the dark.
Finally, a small plump dark figure crept into the alley. He walked like a scared zebra, trotting to the water hole where the snake hid. Billy made it to the cat and stared at it for several minutes. He knelt down by it and began to pet it. It kept crying and Billy pushed its face into his chest and pressed with pressure. The cat could hardly move. Billy clamped one of his hands around the cat’s neck. He held the cat and the cries became muffled and silent with some slight shaking from the broken body. He laid the corpse of the cat down. Jake noticed Billy was crying.
Jake felt the moment of truth arise. He heard a voice in the distance,
 “STOOOOP!!!!”
Jake moved like a snake striking out of water. He ran up on the boy and ran his fist hard into the back of the kids head. He hit the ground like a ton of bricks. Jake wrapped both of his arms around the boy's neck. The boy's eyes were wide and struggled underneath Jake but all of his weight was on Billy's chest and arms. Billy had no chance. Jake tightened his grip around the boy's neck and the boys eyes began to bulge and Jake looked deep into them, imagining the boy's face with the killer grin.
Jake saw no dark in his eyes. They were innocent and scared. This angered Jake and he squeezed even more.
“Give me the killer! Give me that fucking Grin!”
The kid released his bladder and Jake felt warmth on his legs.
“You little fucker! Where are you! I know your there show me your face! Show it to me!”
A shine that existed in the boy’s face began to flicker out and Jake wasn't satisfied. He pushed more pressure in the boy's neck and felt his fingertips cut into the soft of his neck.
“SHOW ME THAT GRIN YOU FUCKER! FUCKING SHOW ME!”
Billy's face turned a dark blue and his eyes rolled into his head, tears collided with rain and snot rolled out of his nose. Jake had no idea blood from the boy's neck began to drip down his hands. Thunder exploded followed by the shouts of Jake.
“NOT SO FUCKING TOUGH NOW ARE YOU! I DARE YOU SHOW ME THAT FUCKING GRIN YOU LITTE FUCKER I'LL RIP IT RIGHT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING FACE! YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA HURT BONNIE? NOT IF I FUCKING STOP YOU! SHOW ME THAT GRIN! SHOW IT TO ME YOU STUPID LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER!”
Jake let go several minutes later and crawled off the boy. Billy lay dead in the middle of the alley. His eyes half open, face blue and cut marks around his neck. The cat lay dead a couple feet from him. The rain began to let up and Jake sat back against the wall of the Hyena.
“Serves you right! Won't hurt anyone now will ya?”
Jake began to giggle, which quickly grew into laughter.  He realized he saw no visions in his struggle with the boy. He ran over and put his hand on the boy's wrist. He closed his eyes and saw darkness followed by a dark face in a hood.
“Good, now you’re with death.”
Jake sat back on the wall and saw the silhouette of a dark figure in the corner of his eye. He turned and it vanished. Jake looked down on the boy. He felt relief wash over his body with a dose of sympathy. He felt for the kid, no kid should be raised in such a horrible world. A horrible world makes horrible people and that's what the boy would have become. Jake felt a tear roll down his face and he began to speak to the body.
“You know I can remember when I was a kid I found a crying baby lying in a ditch. It was covered in mud and was making raspy little sounds from its body. I walked over to it and touched it. I imagined its parents discarded it out of a window while driving. I could have went to get help, I had every reason in the world to, but I didn't. I saw this broken child that was very much alive lying there and it almost seemed funny to me, that if there were people who could throw a baby out of a car window, then we as people were terrible. I didn't just hate the parents; I hated myself and all people in general. People are monsters in nature. It only takes different events in our lives to expose them. I find it amazing that one little event could change someone's entire opinion on something. Finding that baby exposes my inner beast. I touched it and it still had life. I imagined that this kid would live a hard life and could grow into becoming a monster and in return could create more and more monsters. I decided it was best to end the baby's life. I put my hand over the baby's face and pressed down. It only took a minute or more, it was very fragile. After it was dead I sat with it for a while. For reasons I could never figure out I just began to laugh. I laughed hard, feeling tears rolling down my face and realizing to myself that this entire world was a joke! I laughed for several minutes. I remember my face was wet with tears and snot and I hid my face on the baby's body. Some people walking by found me and called the police. They said I found the baby dead and I was crying over it. I was never crying over the baby. I was laughing at it and everyone else! I never have laughed harder since. It was then that I realized I was a monster.  Sometimes I have to believe my own imagination in order to smile at the world. So you see kid, I did you a favor. I saved you from a world of monsters. I dunno if I'm crazy or the smartest man alive, but I do know that some of the funniest things in this world are in the darkest corners of our minds.”
Jake stood up and picked up Billy's body, walked over to a dumpster behind the Hyena and dropped it in the trash. He closed the lid and walked around the building. He felt as if he came from a deep sleep. He made it to his spot and sat down. He picked up his bowl and waited for the scum of the Paradise to bring him his money.
The rain had completely stopped and he slowly saw people begin their trips down the sidewalk. He felt the change hit his bowl and he would shake hands with anyone who would. He imagined that an old man was a failed police officer and had a fetish for goats. He imagined a brunette girl would grow up to get a sex change and would marry a beautiful woman.
Eventually Bonnie came by and she dropped a quarter into Jake's bowl. They both smiled and shook hands. She left just as soon as she came. Jake imagined her to graduate high school and college, and then she would work with and aid the poor. She works and cleans up Paradise Ends, married a lawyer, he is good to her, they have children and she lives the rags to riches story. She is beyond beautiful in her older age. She dies happy with no monsters grinning at her in the dark. Jake imagined all of this and he smiled.
His smile grew and grew and he felt a giggle escape his lips. The giggle turned into loud bursts of laughter. Jake dropped his money bowl and it shattered on the concrete. Laughter erupted from his soul and he fell over laughing till the tears rolled down his face. One large tear rolled down the right side of his face and into his shaggy beard where it fell off a single hair and flew into oblivion.
Jake sat up, wiped the tears from his face and never felt better.