BEING KIND IN AN UNKIND WORLD Various Ways of Doing Nice Things For Random People B. S. Johnson Smashwords Edition Copyright 2012 B.S. Johnson Foreword When someone does something for you, whether it be something as simple as holding a door open, or something much more significant, such as stopping when you are on the side of the road because you so foolishly forgot to put gas in your car, you remember it, right? Of course you do. You probably think to yourself, “Wow, what a nice man”, or “That lady didn’t have to stop, yet she did”. Well, imagine what that man or lady felt like. It may not have been instant gratification, or maybe it was. Doing things for other people, big or small, is a great feeling. Sometimes we get instant gratification, and it instantly lifts our own mood. Other times, it’s just part of who we are, and some people need that feeling to keep going in their day-to-day lives. I do these things because it makes me feel good as a person. Also, because I long for those “Mayberry” type, good old days, and I suppose I think that if I live like we’re still there, maybe they will eventually turn into them! This book is a compilation of those very things that make you feel good, by doing nice things for others. I will list several ways that you, too, can offer up small, random acts of kindness. Perhaps you already do some of them. Maybe you even do some of them without even realizing it. That’s wonderful. If we all would just do one of these random acts of kindness each day, we would certainly be happier people, and have happier people in the world. Some of the things that I list won’t cost you anything but a little time and perhaps a smile. (Hopefully, a big smile!) Others, however, are a suggestion to spend small amounts of money in order to make another person’s day. I am definitely not suggesting you spend any money unless you can absolutely afford to do so. There are times that I can do these things, but sometimes I can only do the others that require only time and effort. A word of caution, though- many of these acts actually require you to make contact with other people- strangers. In this day and age, you can never be too careful about approaching strangers. Please do so at your own risk. If you do not feel comfortable with that at all, just stick to the random acts that allow you to do so anonymously. ~~~~~~~~~ BUY THEIR DINNER Pay for the person’s order behind you in the drive-thru. Now this is only if you can afford to do so. This is one of those random acts that get done only occasionally, mostly due to today’s economy. When you are at the window, simply tell the cashier that you would like to pay for the car behind you. They will tell you how much it is. If you only have say, five extra dollars to spend, then tell the cashier that you would like to pay five dollars towards the car behind you. They will take it and hold it until that car pulls up to the window. This is one of those totally anonymous acts, because by the time the car behind you realizes what you have done, you are gone! And they are left with a smile on their face. Hopefully they will pay it forward and someday do it for someone else. CHECK, PLEASE Another version of the above named act of kindness is to do the same thing, only in a dine-in restaurant. When you are leaving, pick up the check for an elderly couple or another random table on your way out. HOLD THAT DOOR Hold the door open for someone-everyone! Try to get into the habit of holding the door open behind you. Don’t rush into a store and let that door shut in someone’s face, when you could have stood there for a half second longer until they grabbed the door. It’s a very easy thing to do. Most people appreciate it to no end. They will thank you, nod their head, or simply keep holding it for the next person. Especially do this if they are elderly. These doors nowadays are heavy. I have gone back out a door to hold it open just because I saw an elderly couple leaving as I was entering. It took me all of a minute and a half. There is nothing pressing that can’t wait for a minute and a half for two lovely people that gave me the sweetest smiles you have ever seen. VOLUNTEER Volunteer at the local soup kitchen, animal shelter, or humane society. Even an hour or so of your time can make a world of difference to the people or animals that you are helping. Sometimes people down on their luck just need a smile from someone, or an ear to bend for a while. You never know how you are affecting the lives of others. By stopping by your local animal shelter and handing out a few treats, you may have just lifted the spirit of an animal who was all but ready to give up. Some of these places are run by volunteers only, or have but one or two actual paid employees. And they usually welcome all the help they can get. And sometimes there aren’t any paid employees at all at these places, and everything they use to feed and shelter animals or people totally depends on the amount of donations they receive. SEND A CARD Pick someone at random out of your address book to send a “Thinking of You”, or “Have a Good Day” card to. Don’t sign it or put a return address. Or you can simply put a smiley where your name would go. Or put something else, if you like. Be creative. Due to the age of wireless devices, snail mail is almost a thing of the past. People do still go their mailboxes, though. Imagine the smile on their face when they opened a card that simply tells them someone else is hoping they have a good day. It warms the heart knowing that someone took the time and effort to pick out a card, stick it in an envelope, address it, stamp it, and send it on its way. That is not usually taken lightly by people. They appreciate it and will think about it for days. It might just end up on their fridge, too. A BURGER & SOME WATER Often times there are people standing at the corner of our local Wal-Mart parking lot with a sign that reads Hungry Please Help or something along those lines. Now, I used to give a buck or two to them. Then our local news stations began running reports about people standing on corners with signs. The reporters would follow them at the end of the day, and they would go around the corner, get into their BMW’s or Mercedes Benz’s and go home to a nice neighborhood. Now, the few that were busted and would actually talk on-camera would say they made more standing there than they ever did at their old day jobs. Since those aired, I’ve had an issue with giving them people cash. I’m by no means saying they are all like that, but I certainly don’t want to contribute to one’s drug or alcohol abuse either. So, now when I see people holding signs, I go to the local fast food joint, and get them a burger, pop in a convenience store and grab a couple of bottles of water, and head back over. I feel better knowing they have food and water, and if they are legit, they feel better having eaten. PASS THE BUCK If you use coupons, the next time you’re shopping, try leaving one that you are not using that visit in the store. Leave the coupon face up underneath the item that it’s for, but sticking out so that the next person coming along that aisle can see it. They just might try that brand because there’s a coupon for it. I always take several for the same item, but different brands. I go with whatever is the cheapest using the coupon. So I usually end up leaving about three or four coupons on the aisle before I go. I have even stopped a lady because I knew I had a coupon on me for two dollars off of the brand of dog food she had in her cart. I gave it to her, and she was so very grateful to me. She asked what she could give me! I simply told her to pay it forward. Do something nice for someone else, and that would be thanks enough for me. I’VE GOT IT Often times as I’m standing in a checkout lane, the person in front of me is digging for change in their purse or pocket. Now, when it’s sixty cents or higher, they quickly end up just handing the clerk another dollar, but when it’s ten, twenty, or forty some-odd cents, they’ll dig and dig. These are the times that I usually reach into my change purse, count out the exact change, and give it to them. I do this not so much because I’m impatient and didn’t want to stand there while they did (although sometimes that can drag on a while), but because they may have been stalling because they really didn’t have it and was too embarrassed to say anything. So, whatever the reason, it was no sweat off my back to offer up a few cents and possibly save someone a lot of embarrassment. GIVE A HAND Now sometimes we run across people that are trying to reach something and just can’t do it. Whether they are not tall enough, or they are in a wheelchair, or they are too high up and cannot bend down like they once could. In any of these cases, almost every single time I go grocery shopping, I encounter at least one of these. I happen to be really tall, so I go ahead and offer, even if I just see someone looking at something on a high shelf. Elderly people cannot bend down to get things on the lower shelves, and I see that a lot too. TOLL BOOTH TOKEN Toll roads are few and far between in my neck of the woods, but I often encounter them while traveling. Sometimes they are as little as fifty cents, and others go up in excess of a dollar or even more. When you can afford it, tell the toll booth clerk that you’d like to pay for the next car as well. One time I didn’t have any change, and instead of making the clerk count out change from my five, I instructed him to apply it to the next few cars that come through. I got a funny look from the clerk, but I bet I made somebody’s day. LAUNDRY ROOM LOOT Most people have done their laundry in a Laundromat at one time or another for various reasons. Either they lived in a building that had a central laundry room, their washer or dryer was on the fritz, they’re saving up to purchase a set, it was stolen- whatever the reason, most people have been there, done that. We all know what it’s like to have to have quarters, and then the change machine is either out of order or you only have a twenty. Imagine being in this situation and finding that some wonderful soul has left you four or five quarters just sitting on the washer. Now, if you’re going to do this, it’s a good idea to leave a quick post-it note with it, saying something to the effect that those quarters were left on purpose out of pure kindness and a smiley, otherwise if the finder asks anyone if it’s their money, they just might get a few claimers. LAUNDRY ROOM SUDS As discussed above, most of us have had to do laundry in a Laundromat at one time or another. Sometimes we think we have brought enough detergent with us, and we haven’t. It’s always nice when someone offers us some of theirs. As an act of kindness, when you’re done doing your laundry, you could leave your not-quite-empty box for someone else to find and use. FEED THE METER Put some change in someone’s parking meter. There are a lot of parking spaces that have parking meters in front of them, especially in bigger towns, during work hours. There are plenty of opportunities to drop a few coins into a few of them if you happen to be walking through town and pass some that are about to expire. GIVE A JUMP If you see someone in the parking lot with their hood up, sometimes all they need is a jump. Some people still carry jumper cables in their vehicle, but most don’t. If you are one of those prepared people, offer to jump them off. Often times, they just inadvertently left their headlights on, and it was enough to run their battery down. Just by offering to jump them off, you can save them a lot of headache and possibly a hefty tow bill. DONATE Donate every chance you get. Donate your clothing, household items, furniture, workshop items, even your worn out vehicles. Canned goods, toys, televisions, computers, things you wouldn’t think to donate, can be donated. Donations don’t always have to be in monetary form. Many places such as Goodwill, The Salvation Army, and many others, take all types of donations, even your time. Local homeless shelters usually need furniture or bed sheets or curtains, and canned goods and other non-perishables are always welcome. Around the holidays, many of these places need extra volunteers for organizing dinners or drives. Toys-for-Tots is very popular around the nation and there are usually donation boxes set up at the end of check-out counters in dollar stores. MENTOR A CHILD Most cities or towns have a Boys and Girls Club within a reasonable driving distance. Consider mentoring a child. It can be rewarding in ways you never imagined possible. And you will be making new friends, discovering new things, and changing a child’s life. Sometimes all they need is someone to guide them, hang out with them, and give them direction. That can make all the difference in the world. Just the fact that you were there to listen when they talked is immeasurable. THANK YOU The next time someone does something for you, anything at all, say “Thank You” and mean it. Give them a heartfelt, true Thank You. Look them in the eye when you say it, and remember to smile. Just casually saying “Thanks” to people as they hold that elevator door open or pick something up that you dropped is ok, but it gets to be mundane. Almost as if we automatically say it without thinking about it. Try truly saying it and meaning it. People will notice, and most will smile back and say, “You’re Welcome.” It will eventually catch on, too. STOP AND LISTEN The next time you ask someone how they’re doing, actually wait for the answer. Too often we sputter out “Fine, how are you?” when we’re asked, yet we keep on walking as if we’re on auto-pilot. Try pausing for a few seconds and wait until they answer. If it’s good, let them know that you’re happy to hear that. If they’re not doing so well, offer up some sympathy and let them know you hope they get better soon. Just a few moments can go a long way. Be one of those people who cares enough to stick around to hear the answer. PUSH IT! I can’t even begin to tell you how many times my husband and I have stopped to help someone push their vehicle off of the side of the road. A couple of times, we even stopped to help push when those cars were stuck in mud in their own front yard. You may not think you are strong enough to push a car, but there’s strength in numbers, my friend. The more people there are pushing, in more areas of the car, the more likely it is to become unstuck. There are many other ways to show kindness to others, but the ones listed above are among my favorites. I hope that they have inspired you. I hope you get the kind of feeling I do when I help someone out, or just make them feel special. This world would be a much better place if we would all just start doing small things to be more kind, courteous, pleasant, and selfless. Please visit my FaceBook page and leave me a comment, as I love hearing about how others help people, and how it may have changed your life. ~~~~~~~~~ ABOUT THE AUTHOR Barbara Johnson lives in a rural town in North Georgia with her husband, parents, son, three dogs and two cats. She volunteers at the local Humane Society and periodically does pet food drives to help feed animals at the shelter. When she does have extra time, she enjoys the outdoors and spending time at home with her family.