A guilty conscience. Gavin William Wright Published by Favourite Colours Smashwords Edition. Copyright 2012 - Gavin William Wright Other titles by this author: Novels: Modern Man is Ultra Quick Short Stories: But I wasn’t In the shallows Meredith & more... License Notes This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. A guilty conscience. How it crawled. How it crawled low along the valley, like some great cloud of exhaled cigarette smoke, exhaled by the earth at the tapered head of the valley. It crawled heavily. From this distance it had a distinct edge, giving it an actual solidity. He imagined himself within it, as it became invisible dampness around him, ghostly licks around the trees, clinging everywhere. Inside the mist he would be enclosed and safe: untouchable – only the immediate world below the rising sides of the mountains would be his; that is all he would have to share with the world. Looking down on the valley, on the mist, he could see the long ridge of the mountains opposite, and the fading shades of the high hills at the wide southern foot of the valley, crossing the end and rolling away towards the edge of the country; rolling along the coast. To arrive at the misty valley bottom before the sun dried the grey white cloud into the atmosphere, he knew he would have to leave soon, otherwise it would be just another clear day. He didn’t want clarity, he wanted to be safe in that phantomic balloon of white and green – only the trees, the grass and the mist to judge him. He would have to leave soon, yet the doubt still remained – he hated the doubt, but at least it distracted him from the guilt. Over and over – how many times now? – how often had he considered the acts that plagued him, that obscured his reality: what now was real, and what now had he simply told himself, to ease his conscience, to vindicate the action? No more, though; he was exhausted – he was bad, but was he any worse than anyone else; was his failure so unique and, if so, was it actually terrible, was anyone other than himself affected by it. Again, the questions arrived and the answers, familiar now, rolled off, obscuring the fear, the guilt - rolled off and protected him. The sun had risen, low and distant and unseen, behind the hills across the valley, he still had time – now it was just a question of whether he wanted to use that time to change his mind again. Were the consequences of easing his guilt worse than the guilt itself – could he even walk as far as the mist without being overrun by the guilt, the knowledge of the destruction and sadness it would lead to; he would be safe, enclosed – lost in the creamy grey fluff twisting around the ridges of topography. Now, it hardly seemed likely he’d do it – it was too beautiful –never to see that slinking cloud, floating fuzzily, silent and static against the contours of the land – it would be hard enough to leave behind when forced by nature – why should he give it up now: why, when such a meteorological gimmick could make him almost swoon. It was a reward for being here; to wake, to rise, to see this almost living thing slumbering so graciously, washing through the pines, curling between the grass, leaving its icy wetness – it was worth being here for. So he would take that walk, but only to dwell in the faded world within the mist, enclosed. He would take a walk, stand in awe and realise, again, how much he had, how much he would lose. He would rise another day, looking over the valley, hopefully in the company of the mist, puddled in the valley, and he would know what he had done and hope, each day, that it wouldn’t surface. #### Other titles by this author: Novels: Modern Man is Ultra Quick Short Stories: But I wasn’t In the shallows Meredith & more... About the author: Gavin William Wright was born and raised in Leicester, England. After some time playing in bands in London, he is now based in Oslo. Over the years he has worked as a barman, a shop assistant, a consular services consultant, an underwriter, a bank clerk, a lageransvarlig, a nanny and a soap opera extra. http://www.facebook.com/GavinWilliamWright http://favourite-colours.blogspot.no/ twitter: @favecolours Cover Photo & Design by Gavin William Wright