Dressing up is not just fashion- How do you dress up
Kay C Badhok
(Illustrations also by writer)
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2010 @ Kay C Badhok
Discover other titles by Kay C Badhok at Smashwords.com:
Stress, Joy and You-122 encounters
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/27689
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Dressing up is not just fashion- How do you dress up
Preface
I accept that my style of writing is indirect, humorous and sometimes sarcastic.
This book does not aspire to bring change or revolution in the society or to accuse the readers that they do not dress up properly. Nor is the purpose to educate anyone as to how should they dress up, as I have unequivocal faith in my readers that they do dress up the way they are ought to, either personally or socially.
I do value the wisdom of my readers, this book is only for the purpose of discussion, in case any important social aspects are given a go by, may be unknowingly. This does not contain sermons, treating the readers novices, rather this only makes a point whch you may wish to consider or reconsider.
My only endeavor is to stir up the thought process by providing a disguised mirror in the shape of this book. In case one wishes to appreciate oneself, one is welcome to. Chapters have been kept small as far as possible so that only points are made instead of discourses. You may find that even the preface to the book is longer than many of the chapters.
Some of the readers might find many a reference points in this book which they may not agree to. They have a right to do so. Difference of opinion is a sign of existence of two healthy minds but it is always golden to avoid argument. During ensuing arguments one may try to prove that one mind is healthier than the other one, this is not what this book is intended for.
There might be certain references in the book which may appear opaque and oblique. Not explaining such references is intentional as I believe that my readers do not require spoon feeding. I do believe the intellect of readers which I respect too. 
Let us all agree to disagree and agree to allow the flowers to blossom the way they wish to; one is expected to have a garden comprising of diverse range of flora, anyway.  Let the fragrance travel far and wide in all directions.
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Chapter 1 You dress up the best
Undoubtedly, dressing up is a very personal affair and others do not have anything to do with the personal affairs of any one. But the fact is that one has to move out of his personal space into public. Does this mean that the one is barred from moving into public, wearing the dress one prefers or instead by wearing the dress others like to see you in? 
No one thinks that such questions are easy to answer. There ought to be plethora of diverse views and the consensus is out of question. I heard someone whispering … equanimity equanimity.
Though I do agree with the whispers and I think other do too. The question is also, who authorized others to have views and the prsmission to express such views against you. Point accepted. Answer is straight “No one” with small explanation that, if the dressing up is personal affair; thinking is also personal to others. And if majority of persons do think alike or the similar way, may be this is what is known as consensus.
There is also another school of thought who questions as to why should it be accepted that the majority viewpoint is either correct or should it be accepted. Undoubtedly, it is difficult to counter this argument too.
Middle path theory is the best answer to the whole paradigm.  One ought to dress up as per the norms of the place and the context. Still it is difficult to profound a proposition acceptable to all, so the existence of exceptions requires to be adhered to as well.
One dresses up best to the taste of oneself.  
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Chapter 2 Loners are not loners
Not all the persons dress up alike. Persons dress up the way they feel like dressing up. But the system of polarization begins the moment public connect is made. Majority of men, in general, would not like to be seen in the company of a man in frock. Though for the man in frock might not see anything wrong in his being dressed up so. The principle of norm comes into play and that is reason why majority of men shun the august company of thus oddly dressed up male.
In turn, such norms are also open to scrutiny by males in frock, can this be denied! But the society itself is defined as a conglomerate of set of norms, in the last.  
One does not dress up in jazzy clothes if joining a funeral. Nor one attends a marriage in the clothes meant for attending funerals.  
So to say that the ones dressed up oddly are the loners is a misnomer too. It is not that one is known by the company one keeps rather one keeps the company the way one is. People with tastes alike do find co-passengers for being on board along, in whatever minority they might be, although.
It is not that they feel like being outcastes in the society. They have their own world which is another self contained universe in their limited sphere. What is missing is the wider connect. If one is comfortable with such a scenario, it is simply ok. Then, this chapter is meant for lesser mortals, and not for them.
And I know you do not fall in this category of folks.
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Chapter 3 Once upon a time there was a tom boy
Some people are fond to be so hardcore supporters of the concept of gender equality that to drive point home they dress up like opposite gender. The males in frocks, as referred to in the chapter just above, might also be resulting out of this faith too. Similarly, fairer gender may also be not far behind in being the copy cats of their counterparts and dressing up typically like men.
Some people opine that such females do miss so called feminine features and qualities or, they look more manly than womanly. There are lots of counter arguments to this observation amongst the men and women alike.  
But the fact remains that yes, there are ladies who may not prefer to dress up like other ladies and may dress up more like men. How are they received in the society? Well, there might be possibility that there is uneasiness in the atmosphere when they are around. Or maybe not. This might be taken as the accepted norm in due course but yes, in the beginning it might be taken as dysfunctional social behavior too. Too hard a term to be used but let the truth prevail.
There are no written directions to be followed, in the civil society. However, the normal dressing up behavior is expected to be complied with by the various constituents of society. There is nothing to be taken as offensive by the persons who are being referred to but it is expected of them that they shall give heed to the words, in sporting spirit; before rising to defend themselves.
Is not it too easy to accuse others than to go for introspection! Let us adapt for opening up the doors of our hearts and allow our minds to act more rationally while prrmitting another vista for self analysis. Nothing is lost in changing or mending our ways of dressing up. Let us not worry about others.  
We ought to be accommodative than being defensive.  This helps us in assimilating ourselves better in the social milieu. Neither there is any reason to be ashamed of mending our way of life and life style. It is never late.
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Chapter 4 Dressing up differently
I know you are not suffering from identity crisis if you are trying hard to look different by getting dressed up in a way that you are noticed.
Getting overtly fashionable or responding pathetically to the way of dressing up puts one apart from others and one should be ready to be treated differently, in turn. It is not always a good idea to dress up in either way as this may not result into desired heightened attention or diminished interest of the people around.
Sometimes people do dress up just to emphasize the point that they are in tune with time or ahead of others. Such fashion-utterances are not only bound to turn heads but also to raise eyebrows. One may hold ‘who cares’ attitude, too. So do others towards them. But this chapter is not about disconnect rather is about the synergy. Thus, a reconciliatory approach is anticipated before the chapter is read further. Very purpose of the book is not to accuse one or the other rather is to address the issues and allow the one to take its own decisions either way.
Idea of all being similar looking clones cannot be supported, of course.
This may be counterproductive, resulting into repellant behavior towards the overly fashionable beings and neglect or repulsiveness towards the persons who just shun acknowledging that dressing up properly is also important in life.
There might be need to keep updated fashionably for some of the persons in the society but for majority of the persons it is just a matter of being normal when it comes to fashion or dressing up. For some, dressing up is just a matter of routine than dressing up fashionably, as the case might be in case of some others. Thus, there are broadly three categories of persons viz. who are too fashionable, who are repulsive or indifferent to fashion and, the rest.  
Few fall in the first two categories whom this chapter is dedicated to. I also know that you do not fall in either of these first two categories.
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Chapter 5 Dressing for comfortability
In fact, there is no bar in any style of dressing that the dress should not be comfortable rather the truth is that the comfortability is integral part of designing. Still, sometimes this aspect is abandoned or is given back seat. This may result into behavioral oddities in turn, since a person who is uncomfortable physically cannot be comfortable mentally.
Fashion has been part of life and integral to way of living since time immemorial. Fashion had been there all along the evolution of mankind. Ancient figurines are found to have been decorated with bones of animals and feathers of birds. Different types of clothes and designs have been used by the civilizations for different type of people in the societies. This trend continues into modern times. The omnipresent factor which had been prevalent throughout the times had been the suitability too.  
There is no dearth of evidence too where comfortability has been given a goodbye and ornamentation crept into designing and; of course at the cost of ease too.
Business suit might be an idea which appears to have been standardized throughout the continents today. Has someone given a thought to a little realized fact that climatic conditions differ from country to country!  These conditions might be cold, humid or extremely hot. And of course, without the comforts of air-conditioning one can well imagine the plight of the persons in such suites in humid or hot climate.
Of course, this might not be in the control of persons at the lower end of the organizational ladder but certainly it is worth reconsidering the concept of appropriate-dress by the decision making authorities at the helm of affairs in any organization.
It is also not, that such a thing is rampant through out the world without exceptions. In some of the pockets chores are carried out in native dresses but many of them do so, more from the point of view of national pride and adherence to traditions and customs. This is certainly an acceptable proposition, even if not emphasized as a dress code emerging out of comfortability or conformity.
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Chapter 6 Ah! I am beautiful.
Clothing is not mere a physical or social need it is much beyond that and it had been so since the time mankind started covering itself. Fashion is just an extension of this olden thought.
It is not that being fashionable is a word to be abhorred or being non fashionable is a matter of being proud of. However, fashion might have risen to the heights of being a buzz word today due to the concerted efforts of the fashion industry worldwide. Fact is that the more beautiful one is more fashionable he or she should be expected to be. Of course, it does not mean that the people who do not give a damn to fashion are not beautiful.
Nor fashion is limited to clothing only; it encompasses ornamentation, thinking, expression, lingua franca, way of living, cosmetics and so on.
It is not that the fashionables are always favored socially. Blonde is the word which has broken all barriers and has moved much beyond its dictionary meaning, of late.  
Being beautiful helps. Fashion helps enhancing the beauty.
But inner beauty is far significant than external beauty. External beauty is much easier to possess whereas acquiring inner beauty is a process which goes on throughout the lifespan of any one. One cannot call it a day to this process and; claim that mission is accomplished. The day it is felt that the need to look beautiful is no more there that is the day one starts growing old at heart too.
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Chapter 7 How uniform is this phenomenon
Attention seeking is a way of life for many of us. Can this be dubbed as a positive trait! Honestly, I do not know. Or maybe I’ll prefer to play diplomatic than answering. Or maybe there are no simple answers to this as this is not acknowledged at all by the practitioners of such a trait.
Even more intriguing is the cause as to why one does so. But yes, it is there since one is born. It shall be found to be prevalent throughout the life cycle of anyone. Only the intensity changes from time to time or from person to person. To say, that one is devoid of this element; if not preposterous shall be too true to be believed.  
Every one of us has its unique way of achieving this.  
Fashion gives teeth to this urge and heightens the intensity of attention seeking process. To the extent of this being confined to the reasonable boundaries it is understandably acceptable but once it starts taking front seat, it is certainly loathe worth getting rid of.
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Chapter 8 Fashion is no filler for hollowness
There might be situation that the person not feeling comfortable with himself may take fashion as a substitute and try to fall back upon it and the elements attached thereto as a dependable source of satisfaction. Fashion is no escape route or a duct which could be used as escape route for the steam inside.
Should falling back upon this element of social life be required, it should be ensured that one has a plan B at hand.  
Hollowness inside may not be resolved merely by resorting to fashion and its allied activities. This may help in forgetting the truth for a while but the truth shall prevail, this must he acknowledged. Such a step may give momentary respite but the malady remains which requires to be diagnosed properly.
Life span of external beauty is tremendously limited. Fashion helps in enhancing the beauty further.  Sometimes, date of beauty expires but the fashion lingers on, to the amusement of others. Stark dependency, on fashion, of not-so-beautiful-looking lesser mortals may prove to be perilous, sometimes; since the fashion does not have its own sovereign existence.  
There might be sad faces behind shining smiles.
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Chapter 9 Being fashionable is a must
If one is not fashionable, one is taken to be old-fashioned. Fashion of yester times might have been current once but to remain current is more fashionable.  
Imagine life without colors. Oops, even such visualization is not worth considering. Life is not black and white. Fashion fills color in life but how much color is acceptable is subjective. It is not the case that such details could be translated into quantitative details well set for anyone to adapt to. Yet a very fine equilibrium is expected from the one who indulges into such tirades of sort.  
How would it have been had there been no consciousness for the fashion. May be we all would have been cladding in same type of attire with same type of design and same color, maybe. May be we would have been looking clones of each other.  
Uniforms do cater to this constituency of fashionlessness where everyone looks a copy cat. There are certiain exceptions too.  
Sometimes it becomes very difficult to withstand the idea of wearing similar looking uniforms in daily life in violation of fashion norms. People in similar uniforms not only look alike they appear to be behaving similar as well. Thought of dissimilarity is frightening to comprehend.
There are innumerous counts in the civil society which are into existence for the sole purpose of breaking monotony of life. Fashion adds to the list of such counts. May be that is why youngsters indulge into it more than the elders as life appears to be much more vibrant to the younger folks, comparatively. Elders take it more rationally than vividly.
One of the religious preachers was once noted differentiating human form animal on many counts. Of course, fashion can be added to that list, if no offence taken.
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Chapter 10 Dressing up peculiarly
For some, fashion appears to have frozen in time. Not that they stick to the particular design of their clothing or the way they dress up, they also stick to dress up peculiarly in the same style throughout the ages, come what may. Of course, this is their personal choice and no one else has anything to do with their lifestyles.  
The only thing is that they might have been doing so without any reason or may be unconsciously.  No one else points it out to them as they feel that this is too personal an issue for the person who dresses up like that. Thus, the continuum is allowed and the person keeps on doing so involuntarily, so to say.
Introspection thus, not only applies to the inert issues alien to others but also extends to this aspect of life as well. Some people might be dressing up in clothes which might look short and, large in other cases; overdoing the cosmetics; being loud, using the striking colors not commensurate with the aging hair and skins and so on, list is endless.
Here is an opportunity, one may avail to tweak with the things they otherwise never bothered to give a thought. I know, there might be thousand reasons against this proposition of change. But believe me, there is no intention of initiating an argument for the sake of winning the one. This is just an offer, off the cuff.  
One is at full liberty to deny what has been described in the paragraphs above, in the chapter. Amen.
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Chapter 11 Dressing up socially
Certain societies do dress up in a particular manner. And, some of the societies prefer to dress up in tune with their religious way of life. In the case of later, opportunities to redo the whole concept of fashion are limited, undoubtedly.  
But in the cases where dressing up is carried out the social way, chances of experimentation are relatively much high. Such an infusion of changing fashion is generally left to two types of initiatives. First type of initiative comes from within the community which is brought in by the people themselves based on their past traditions of acceptance and infusion whereas, second type of initiative might be taken up by the constituents of such societies themselves or even by the persons closely associated with such societies.
Change, generally is not easy to be accepted, if not resisted at least.  
Change brings upheaval in the lives of the people who otherwise profess accepted norms of their societies. Thus, people always find it is much convenient to live with what they had been living with. Under such controlled conditions fashion requires to make inroads silently in a much subdued manner. Some of the supporters of change might be winked at, in the beginning but it is ok if large picture requires to be given shape.
Bold fashion statements under such condition shall be repulsed with vigor and fervor.
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Chapter 12 Fashion for the purists
Since the advent of modern era, fashion has emerged as an institution in itself and experimentation has acquired altogether new dimensions. Today, even the fashion showcased during grand gala fashion jamborees is not meant to be adopted in daily life rather is shown as an expression of creativity.  
Such creativity is not limited only to the product but the whole atmosphere is aimed to be looked at in totality where even the carriers of products are rendered mere props. Such models who exhibit the products sometimes start living under the illusion of fakehood. They start believing that the model and the fashion are interchangeable terms. The truth is that it is not so. They start feeling as substitutes for the fashion itself.  Such a scenario cannot be termed as ideal either for the fashion or for the person. Rather this may result into dysfunctional behavior emanating out of causal relationship.
Fashion might be an opportunity for expression and might also make economic sense for the purists. But for the ordinary people fashion is one of the tools to be used in their daily lives just as anything else. It is difficult to assimilate such fashionable elements in daily lives as they just look out of sync.
One may agree or not, being fashionable does not mean that the one has to appear so different that he or she becomes centre of attention for no other reason but for the reason of fashion only.
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Chapter 13 Aging gracefully
Sometimes a term is heard ‘aging gracefully’. May be not only this term encompasses the whole gambit of persona but also certain elements which are expected to be inculcated by the person thus referred to.
Dressing yankeely for the one is the norm if one is considered yankee. Another person if volunteers to dress up so, without being so, might not be accepted as the one who he claims to be, otherwise.  
Life is beautiful so must be lived to its fullest but there are exceptions to it too. One does not sprint in its later years as the fact is acknowledged that the body may not support such an adventure. Similarly, the fact also requires to be acknowledged that many things of yesteryears deserve to be shunned as the time progresses. Of course it is a matter of personal choice as to how one prefers to dress up at any stage of his/her life cycle. Selection choice keeps changing with the times unconsciously but sometimes the needle is stuck at the particular track of an LP (long plying record), time keeps on passing but the words get repeated again and again.
It is not that one has to quell its desire to dress up the way one wishes to, it is just for the posterity that the issue is raised here.
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Chapter 14 Wao ! What a dressing sense.
Some people are noted to be particular about the colors, be it clothing or otherwise. These people, in fact, hardly ever consider that change is also worth trying. Nothing wrong in sticking to any particular style but sometimes it become a trademark and some others dub is as a copyrighted color-scheme.
Some like the contrast colors, some like the colors in matching manner and some others just do not give much thought to any particular combinations or combinations. Some of them for whom matching color schemes are important go even to the extent of matching or contrasting the colors of their dressing with the color of their skins. Just give a thought as to what a personality might be emerging out of such a thoughtful process. No offence intended .
There is another category of dressing up too i.e. too jazzy or too sober. Apart form the specific requirements of the occasion or of the norm, this may also cause uneasiness, sometimes, if not the embarrassment.
All these three combinations are of course a matter of personal choice. Accepted. But the fact cannot be denied as well that such a dressed up person has to come out into open in the company of others as well. So far, he is concerned to himself there is no reason to reconsider but the fact is also that the dress is taken note of by others. Who may or may not appreciate or may turn out to be indifferent. Whether others appreciate or not, if this is not of substance, no comments are warranted. If it matters as to how others perceive you as a person, this becomes of importance and; deserves to be given attention.
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Chapter 15 Time to call it a day
One may like a particular dress so much that he or she may even forget that the clothing has limited life too, and requires to be deserted, even against the longing, at some point of time, especially if it looses its sheen. Some of us prove to be too faithful against the social norm.
Two small indicators in this context may be of some help. First, if one is unable to fit in the robes anymore as the clothes may appear to have become tighter; in case, one does not like the idiom that he or she might have put on weight. Second, once my wife pointed out to something which I was oblivious of till that day, otherwise, that the corners of my shirt sleeves appeared rugged. 
Similar is the case, if the tailor seam starts leaving its designated sovereign domain. Sometimes color of clothes also starts shouting form the roof top that it cannot hold any longer, I think it is the high time we throw out ear plugs and open eyes to look maybe the color has a point. Faded color clothes may be given a goodbye, if it is no more a part of much greater design, as conceived by the fashion designers.
It is also that sometimes color of make-up also goes out of vogue. Do not fear accepting change, people shall still recognize you.
Generally, peopke do not point out deficiencies in one’s dressing up. But if someone does so, be happy. Heed him. He is your well wisher.
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Chapter 16 Did you notice me
There is always a class of persons who without being anything remains in circulation. They are called socialites. I salute their guts. They do bank upon dressing up and wagging tongue.
Hollowness and dressing up have a great co-relation. I do not intend to dwell on the concept of inner hollowness, as we all understand it well.  This class of people does thrive strictly on being in company of others and if the others are who is who of the society, it is icing on the cake.
Getting noticed is the most imprtant thing for these people and the first thing they can do is, look different so first thing which comes handy is the dressing up differenntly, seondly comes the perfumes and costly colors spread throughout he body, wherever these can possibly be painted upon. Third is the style of talking.
They are people out of this world. For them day and night have no separate meaning. They can be there at any gathering at any given odd hour, given an opportunity; provided, information reaches them.
They also come handy for the people who have nothing to do but to be there in such gatherings, it is mutuallyt complementary co-existance.  Only one precondition, they are not found at the places which do not glitter.
If time permits it is a better idea to go for introspection, is costs nothing but ego.
Certain things are better conveyed if not commented upon.
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Chapter 17 How much does it cost
Is it necessary that the dressing up should cost a lot to make its impact felt! There might be diverse views on this aspect. Of course, it is not to be seen in isolation. Tasteful (!) designing or appearance is also pertinent in this context. More so, the cost and appearance both can very well be de-linked too.
In fact, costly material can be messed up whereas ordinary material can give run for their money to the person to whom dressing up matters most in life.  Material ought to be handled with respect and taste lest the results expected thereof may not be achieved.
Irrespective of the quality or color of the dressing material some of us do have the liking for skin-tight fittings, without respecting our body structures. And some others might be dressing just as a loath covered under a huge sheet of clothe. Why to go extreme ways. Is not it that the middle path might be appreciable!
Do not expect that every one around shall take note not of ones dressing up. There shall be majority of people who shall succeed in letting you know that it did not make any difference to them. It is also true that there shall be some who shall really mean it and; for some, in fact, this shall not make any sense or difference. Don’t get disheartened, still majority of people shall take note of you.
After all, dressing up is most important for oneself but in case it is tuned with the social surroundings, nothing precious is lost, anyway.
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Chapter 18 Bugged
Fashion is a bug too. Occasionally some people are bitten hard by this bug. Once bitten, person starts experimenting with almost everything and changes appearance from top to bottom and below, as well.
Experimentation becomes so intense that the person starts looking a lost scientist in a dark laboratory without any clue as to what he intended to invent and how. But the outlandish thing associated with this aspect is that one is infected by this bug in his or her teens; yet some of the blessed ones even start taking the reigns up, even before that. 
Symptoms are very simple to comprehend. Just any of the three examples are worth taking note of. One, if the person is frequent in taking good stare at the mirrors and for that matter even anything which could work like as a mirror. Two, the person wishes to be photographed as frequently as possible from all possible angles and close-ups are certainly preferred. Three, person becomes an authority in disseminating information on perfumes, jewelry, clothing, design and all allied fields which might be even remotely connected with such elements.
Anyone questioning their authority on such a subject is looked upon by these practitioners as having been left far behind in the process of social evolution and etiquettes. 
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Chapter 19 Inventions and reinventions
Some of us might be so imaginative that we might be tempted to do our own designing but I do think of others who are not so blessed and do not possess such a talent that they could also invent newer designs and styles. I do take pity on them.
But is this ok to say to myself that I am the selected one, possessing such an inventive prowess! Honestly, it might be too haughty an argument for myself but I cant help it, as I think too high of myself and do keep on reinventing the wheel, day in day out with tallest ever claims.
I may look strange, alien, odd or even funny in my own designs, so what. One must respect my creativity and feel envy of me that I am creative which others are not. I am simply a genius and intellectual in my creativity.
I understand, inventing a design is not a child’s play. I do not like childish challenges anyway, that is why I do take on such challenges and do come out with flying colors all the while.
Creativity and aesthetics might be totally de-linked, so what. Aesthetics any way is a personal choice and why is it so that others require to be pleased at the cost of my creativity. Why should I make sacrifice of such a pious virtue, which I am blessed with.
I know you do not suffer from any of these traits, it is only me .
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Thanks for sharing time with this book.

About the Author

K.C. Badhok is a Civil Servant being with the Indian Revenue Service in the rank of Additional Commissioner. Currently, on deputation to the Ministry of Overseas Indian Affairs as Director.   He is a Commerce Graduate with Masters Degree in Literature. He also holds three Post-Graduate Diplomas in Journalism, Marketing Management and Personnel Management, respectively.
Discover other titles by Kay C Badhok at Smashwords.com:
Stress, Joy and You-122 encounters
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/27689
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