Patch Pirates Cookie's Bad Day Dean Derkson Smashwords Edition Copyright 2010 Dean Derkson Cookie could hear the wind blowing as he got up from his bunk to go make breakfast for the crew. "Wow sounds like a rough day at sea. I'd better be careful, the deck will be slippery," said Cookie to himself. Scurvy was on deck pumping the bilge. “Good morning Cookie,” said Scurvy. "Good morning yoursel ... Whahhhhh splat," said Cookie. "Are you OK, Cookie?" said Scurvy. "I think I just bruised my pride," said Cookie. "You know you really have to watch your step when the deck is wet. You could slip and end up in the drink," said Scurvy. "I'll try to be careful," said Cookie. Cookie got to the galley and started making ham and scrambled eggs for breakfast. "Now let's see: did I leave the white pepper in this cupboard?" The Captain yelled, "Cookie, whats for breakfast?" Cookie poked his head out of the galley and yelled back, "Ham and scrambled eggs." Turning around and heading back into the galley Cookie said, "Now where was that pepp..." SMACK hitting his head on the open cupboard door. "AAAHRRRRGGGGHH, Crow I need you!" Cookie yelled. Crow came running with the first aid kit. "Oh you have a nasty nosebleed. What happened?" said Crow. "I kissed the cupboard," said Cookie. "Well you should lean forward.." said Crow. "Yup, unh huh," said Cookie. "Then you should softly pinch the bridge of your nose till the bleeding stops," said Crow. "How long should I hold it like this?" said Cookie. "For about five minutes," said Crow. "Don't worry, you sit down and I'll get breakfast ready." "Thanks, Crow," said Cookie. Crow got breakfast ready while Cookie relaxed. He did a fine job of cooking but left things in the kitchen a bit out of place. He left a knife on the counter near the edge and the ship was rocking in the waves. After breakfast Cookie went to his galley to clean up. "Wow, Crow made a mess of this.." Bump "What was tha..," Thunk "AAARRRGHHHH, my foot. The knife is stuck IN my foot. AAAHHH. Crow I need you!" Crow came running with the first aid kit. "Did your nosebleed start again?" he said. "Nope, look at my foot," said Cookie. "Oh, Ohh, Ohhh, Don't worry I'll take care of it. Here you hold the med kit. I'll pull the knife out," said Crow. "How did it happen?" “Oh I was just ...” Cookie was starting to say. YANK, Crow pulled the knife out. "OUCH," said Cookie. "OHHH, I feel a bit woozy, I'm gonna sit down," said Cookie. "Don't worry you're all right. Pass me the iodine," said Crow. "What's that for?" said Cookie. "We put that on the wound to keep it clean. Now pass me a cotton swab and some tape," said Crow. "There, all bandaged up you'll be good as new in no time," said Crow. "Thanks again," said Cookie. Cookie went back to work limping a bit but OK. He finished cleaning up the Galley and was putting stuff away when... "Oh shoot, I've spilled some oil on myself. I think I'll go up on deck and take a break, then change my clothes." Cookie went up on deck. There Jane was practicing shooting the cannon. BOOM Sparks were floating around everywhere. "Hey Cookie, look at your pants. You are on fire!" said Jane. "Cookie! Cookie! pants on fire," yelled some of the crew. "Me? .. THEY ARE! AHHHHHH. What do I do?" said Cookie. "DROP ON DECK AND ROLL, DROP ON DECK AND ROLL," everyone said. Cookie fell to the deck and rolled around. Jane also came running up with a blanket and covered the fire putting it out. "Crow we need you!" said Jane. Crow came running with the first aid kit. "Oh, Ohh, ohhh," Crow said looking Cookie over. "You're a bit singed but not really burned. Good thing you dropped and rolled quickly. You should probably change out of those smoking oily clothes."” Just then, POOF, Cookie burst into flames again. "AAAARRRGHH," Cookie screamed as he jumped overboard. SPLASH "Man overboard," yelled Jane jumping into the water after Cookie. SPLASH "Where is he? Do you see him, Crow!" said Jane. "Over there to your left," said Crow. By the time Jane got too Cookie he had gone under for the third time. Crow threw them a line and Jane tied it to Cookie. "Get him up on deck now!" said Crow as he and Swab hauled him in. "He's not breathing, let's see now check his throat, head back, pinch nose, and blow in his mouth till his chest rises," said Crow. COUGH COUGH COUGH "He is breathing," said Crow. "Now we roll him on his side and tilt his head up a bit and and watch him while he recovers," said Crow. In a bit Cookie got up and was more or less OK. "Well you're probably exhausted from the excitement of the day so why don't you take a rest in your bunk and I'll have First Mate Jack prepare lunch," said the Captain. "First Mate Jack can cook?" everyone said. Cookie went to his bunk and lay down. When lunch was ready he was called. Lunch was pea soup and beef jerky on the side. Cookie was really relaxed when he dug in to lunch. "Hey this pea soup is really good, First Mate Jack," said Cookie. "Thank you," said First Mate Jack. Nom nom gulp gulp "and this beef jerky is .." GAK GAK GAK "What's wrong Cookie?" said Jane slapping his back. GAK GAK GAK "He's turning pale... Crow we need you!" said Jane. Crow came running with the first aid kit again. "Wow he is kinda blue," said Crow. "Cookie what's wrong?" said Crow. Cookie pointed to his throat. "Cookie, can you breathe?" said Crow. Cookie shook his head. "Cookie, can you cough?" said Crow. Cookie shook his head again. "Cookie, is there something stuck in your throat?" said Crow. Cookie nodded his head. "Oh, you're choking on some jerky," said Crow. Crow quickly gave Cookie a hug from behind and squeezed him fast just below his ribs. A piece of jerky popped out of his mouth and bounced across the deck. GASP GASP GASP "I can breathe. I thought I was a goner. Where did you learn to do that?" said Cookie. "Pirate Heimlich taught me that, just remember to take small bites and chew your food well before swallowing," said Crow. "Wow Crow, you've had a busy day with Cookie," said Scurvy. "Yup lets see a nosebleed, a cut two fires a drowning and a choking," said Crow. "What should we do If you're not here to help us," said Scurvy. "Well then you should call 911 on the telephone," said Crow. "What's a telephone," said Scurvy. "What's 911," said Cookie. "Oops, sorry, telephones and 911 haven't been invented yet," said Crow. "I guess you'll just have to learn first aid and take care of yourselves."