MY TRUE ESSENCE 
by Shawneda Marks
copyright 2011 Shawneda Marks
Smashwords Edition

Chapter One
“I’m not sure I understand exactly what it is you mean?” Rebecca’s demeanor fell as she held the phone Dani released Rebecca’s long tresses from the flat iron and placed the instrument back in the oven. 
Rebecca placed one finger in the air. She pointed to the frosted glass doors and rose from the salon chair. Dani’s Diva Den was her place of refuge. Whenever she had a hard week or an unbearable client, she made an appointment with the on-site masseuse. If she wanted to get spruced up for a night on the town with Colby she would let Dani tame her exotic curls to complement her heart shaped face. 
The modern colors and bright salon chairs lost their luster a bit as she stepped out onto the hot Houston sidewalk. Oblivious to the odd stares of the pedestrians who shook their heads at her half curly, wet hair and half thick, pressed hair, her focus stayed on the call. She pressed the cell phone so close to her ear it pinched the back of her ear. 
“You can’t think this is funny, Mama. You’ve never been one to play practical jokes. I know I haven’t come to see you like I promised but this is unnecessary. I’ll fly home next week. Let me clear my calendar.”Rebecca’s voice caught in her throat. “I don’t believe you. That’s impossible.  Aunt Marisol can’t have breast cancer. It doesn’t even run in our family. I need to call you back.”
Dani opened the doors and waved for Rebecca to come back inside. Rebecca knew her legs were moving but didn’t know how. Breast cancer was something that happened to other people’s families. 
Not hers. The people in her family were healthy eaters and active. It didn’t make sense. She had to figure out a way to fix this.
“Is everything all right?” Dani sat Rebecca back down in her chair, picking up the hair she released before Rebecca walked out of the salon. She blew on the irons before she passed them over the strands of her hair. 
“My favorite aunt is in the last stage of her second bout with breast cancer. They believe it has already spread and she has only been given a few months to live.” Rebecca clasped and unclasped her hands in her lap. “How can I go celebrate my wedding anniversary when my Aunt is dying? Colby is gonna have to get over it but I have to leave.”
“Becca, you need to calm down and just allow yourself a moment to think about what you’re saying. You have two big ad campaigns and you’re courting FA Square. You don’t have time to fly off to New York. Especially since you can’t do anything about what is going on…you’re a Christian not the Christ.” Dani patted the last hair she finished pressing. “You need to pray for her and thank God for that fine man you got at home and remind him why he needs to do the same for you.”
Rebecca looked past Dani at the large mirror in front of her. She stared at the artwork reflected from the wall behind them and smiled. It had been a great year with Colby and she was being a bit emotional. She did need to put it in God’s hand. Had he ever failed her? Of course, he would heal her Aunt Marisol. It was Aunt Marisol who said she’d been praying for her after she left New York. Rebecca remembered how Aunt Marisol gave her life to God while Rebecca was married to her first husband and she remembered how she prayed for Rebecca to have the strength to leave him. 
“I see those wheels turning in there. You know I’m right. Now, we gotta get your face right. Let Sheila take you in the back and get your nails done while Beth hooks up your make up.” Dani pulled the cape off of Rebecca and brushed her off with the “hair broom.” 
“Thanks, girl. I’m so glad Toney brought me here before she moved to Atlanta. God knows I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Rebecca hugged Dani before following the tall, statuesque, deep brown woman to the back of the salon. 
“You know I’m immortal so you’ll never have to worry about it. “ Dani pulled her motorcycle helmet from beneath her stylist station. “I’m going to the bank. I’ll be back before you leave so we can pray for your Auntie so stop frowning. You gotta stay cute for Colby.” 
Rebecca smiled and wiggled her fingers as Dani pulled a white and fuchsia mesh reinforced riding jacket from the coat tree next to the door. She lifted a prayer for her friend to be safe on her bike. Even if Dani didn’t know it, Rebecca was well aware that her friend and stylist was not immortal. 
***
Rebecca dabbed the handkerchief to her forehead as she smiled at the older white haired man sitting next to Jenessa Armstrong. Rebecca’s husband looked at her with a raised eyebrow and handed her a cup of water. In place of the handkerchief he took the remote control for the overhead projector and gently guided her to the opposite side of the room.  
“Ms. Armstrong, I believe you’ll find the information we have presented is above the expectations you have for the current marketing and advertising you have in place now. Our average ROI for a campaign on the scale we have presented with modest results is closer to forty five percent. Our most successful to date is seventy five percent. That client is still using the main commercials and online components of that plan today. We update it every three months for a reasonable fee.” Colby curled his lips into a half smile. “We included the contact information for that hotel in Vegas as a reference, with their encouragement to do so.”
“Thank you Mr. Thorn. You have shown us enough to know what to expect. I’ll meet with my colleagues and we’ll get back to you by the end of the week.” Ms. Armstrong stood along with the other gentleman and two younger associates sitting around the table. “I would like to ask you and your wife a few more detailed questions in my office if no one else has anything.”
The standing executives still in the room shook their heads. Each person shook Colby’s hand and nodded to Rebecca still propped on the wall behind the projector. Rebecca gave a weak smile in return, between sips of water. She prayed that her face didn’t look as flush as it felt. It had been ages since she’d been sick but the pressure of her new accounts, missing three weeks in the gym, a steady diet of fast food, and restaurant delivery to the office, and working late left her immune system compromised. 
“Mrs. Thorn I’ll send my assistant to bring you once you’ve finished gathering your things. Mr. Thorn please follow me this way.” Ms. Armstrong turned and walked down a corridor with Rebecca’s husband close behind. 
Colby shrugged before he followed the short shapely woman out of the room. Rebecca was not at all threatened or concerned. She prayed the woman was not one of those bitter black women, upset because Colby had chosen to marry a Latino woman. It didn’t happen as much as it used to but she would never grow comfortable with the hate she felt in some of the stares they received in public. 
With all of her media storage and equipment packed up and placed in her roll away she rested against the wall and finished the water in the cup Colby handed her. A tall woman appeared at the door with a scowl on her face. There was that look she knew so well, pure unwarranted animosity.  It was futile to point out she hadn’t ever dated outside of her race or considered marrying a black man before she met Colby. Women with the attitude of Ms. Armstrong’s assistant were too nasty to be persuaded to think rationally. How could they know it was a God thing that brought them together, that their love was God’s way of showing them what love is daily? She couldn’t, so Rebecca decided not to allow the assistant’s nasty attitude to take anymore of her mental real estate. 
The assistant knocked and opened the door to Ms. Armstrong’s office without looking back at Rebecca or speaking. With a sigh Rebecca entered the room and attempted a smile at Colby and Ms. Armstrong. Before she could reach the chair she felt the room begin to spin and she felt her husband’s arms around her waist before everything went black. 
***
Rebecca opened her eyes when she felt the cool wet napkin on her forehead. She placed her hand on top of her husband’s and smiled. Her eyes flew open when she remembered they were still in the FA Square building and in the office of the woman who held the fate of their firm in her hand.  “Ms. Armstrong, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t feeling well this morning and I didn’t believe it was this serious. I apologize for this. I hope it won’t be held against the firm.”
“It’s Jenessa and no it won’t” Ms. Armstrong looked at Colby first and then looked back to Rebecca. “I believe it just solidified what I thought about you two and you should be expecting a signed contract for the campaign. Anyone who has your dedication and work ethic needs to be on our team.”
“Thank God.” Rebecca let her eyes close. “Excuse me, thank you. We look forward to working with you.” 
“Were there any other questions you had for us, Ms. Armstrong?” Colby gave Rebecca one of his brief get it together stares then turned and smiled at Ms. Armstrong.
“I’ll email you Mr. Thorn. No need to worry about your wife’s statement. We need all the Jesus in this corporation we can get.” Ms. Armstrong gave them a genuine look of concern. “I hope you feel better. You look like you’re coming down with that nasty flu making its end of spring rebound.”
“I’ll take her by her doctor when we leave here.” Colby stood up and helped Rebecca by the arm as she grabbed her head and wobbled. He offered his other hand as Rebecca’s hand shot out. 
“I have to thank you for your understanding. Let me treat you to a day at Dani’s Diva Den. She has the best staff and facilities this side of Houston.” Rebecca pulled a card for the salon and spa out of her purse. After writing something on the back of the card she handed it to Ms. Armstrong.  
“Alright, but only if you come with me. I’ve been looking for a new stylist since mine moved out of town.” Ms. Armstrong smiled as Colby opened the door. 
Colby shook his head and smiled.
“Well if that is the only way,” Rebecca smiled at Colby. 
They all laughed as they walked out of Ms. Armstrong’s office. Ms. Armstrong walked in front of them and led them to the elevator. 
Colby extended his hand towards Ms. Armstrong. “It has been pleasure speaking with you. We hope to hear from you soon, Ms. Armstrong.”
“Please call me, Jenessa. You should expect those papers by the end of the week.” Ms. Armstrong shook his hand and patted Rebecca on the shoulder. “Now get her to the doctor and back to 100 percent. We have a lot of work to do.”
The elevator doors opened. Rebecca smiled at Ms. Armstrong. She stepped on as Colby held the doors open for her. Rebecca sighed as she let her head rest on her husband’s shoulder. She hated going to doctors. 
***
Rebecca flopped back into the passenger seat. Colby closed the door and tapped the hood as he ran around to the driver’s side of the SUV. Three days of bed rest with no work was Rebecca’s worst nightmare. Sitting at home in bed alone was not her idea of a good time. 
“I know you think you’re gonna hate this but I promise you I’ll be in from the office as soon as I can each day. I’ll check on you at lunch too.” Colby said. He picked her hand up and kissed the back if it. “You’ll be better in no time.”
Rebecca’s cell phone rang at that moment, DANI and a silly picture of her flashed up at Rebecca. Without a second thought Rebecca pressed the talk button and placed the phone to her ear. “Hey chica, how is everything?” 
“I’m good. Just wanted you to know before you came in that the lady from FA Square called and told me to schedule her with you for her spa day. Also I had a little spill on the bike. Nothing serious, just a little pummeled skin. I’m going in to see the doctor because it’s still sore and starting to look a little gross.” Dani said.
“Arghh, how I wish you would just drive that little green machine you bought instead of that pink monster you love torturing me with. How fast were you going when you spilled?” Rebecca rolled her eyes and mouthed Dani’s name to Colby. 
Colby started the engine, chuckled and shook his head. 
“You don’t worry about all of that. I’ll be seeing the doctor tomorrow. We’re still on for skating Friday right?” Dani said. 
“No I have this stupid flu so we’ll have to rain check on the skating until next week.”  Rebecca’s line beeped. MAMA and a picture of her mother flashed on the screen. “Hey Dani, that’s my mom I have to go, I’ll check on you tomorrow. Bye.”
“Becca, I wanted to call you before your uncle or cousin told you. I’m flying back home with Aunt Marisol so she can be with the family and be comfortable for her last few months.”
“How can you make a decision like that at the spur of the moment? Who’s going to look after your affairs in New York? What am I supposed to do if I need to talk to you? Can you wait until next week before you do anything? I can’t get a flight out until then.” Rebecca tapped her finger on the door of the SUV. 
“Alright, Becca I’ll wait, but you’re not changing my mind. I talked to the same God you do. We’re taking this trip home for Marisol to be comfortable and tie up loose ends before she dies.” Her mother sighed into the phone.
“Mama, I have to go, I’ll call you with my flight details.” Tears welled up in Rebecca’s eyes. “I love you, Mama, bye.”
Colby placed his hand on Rebecca’s knee. “Is everything okay?” 
Tears rolled down Rebecca’s cheeks as she gently shook her head. She looked out of the window. “No, my mother thinks my aunt is dying.” Rebecca turned and looked at Colby. Then she grabbed his hand. “We need to fly to New York, Colby.”
***
Colby strummed his fingers on the steering wheel. His finger itched to turn the ignition but instead he tapped out an abstract beat. 
“Could you puhleeze stop making that noise. I need to get home to pack and fly to New York.” Rebecca looked at him. She rolled her eyes before looking out of the window at the other cars in the parking deck. 
Colby cut his eyes at his wife then wiped his wet palms on the top of his trousers. He prayed for God to give him the right words and tone when he opened his mouth. 
“Are you going to start the car so we can go home? Please. Have you heard a word I said? We have to get to New York to stop my mother.” Rebecca sighed. 
“I’m going to give you a second to calm down before we continue this conversation. “ Colby turned the key in the ignition and turned on the air conditioning.  He prayed again because he could see his wife’s chest rise and fall faster and faster which meant she was getting more upset by the second. As he put the car in reverse Rebecca placed her hand on top of his. 
“I’m not upset with you I just need to get home to my mother. I can’t let her go back to the Dominican Republic. She is all I have in the states.” Rebecca wiped a tear from her cheek. 
“What am I Rebecca? I understand you’re upset but I’m your family now. I don’t want your mom to go either but she is a grown woman. She hears God’s voice just like you do.” Colby cleared his throat. “The doctor just ordered you to stay home and rest. No work. That also means no New York.”
“And just who is going to stop me from going to New York?” Rebecca’s voice rose two octaves as she unlatched her seatbelt and shifted her body to face Colby. 
“I’m not about to try to talk to you when you’re like this. How about God is going to stop you? We were just in the doctor’s office because you fainted in a client’s office. Becca, you aren’t going anywhere.” Colby put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking space. 
“I’d like to see you stop me.”Rebecca put her seatbelt back on and crossed her arms. “I would really like to see you stop me.”
“You have me confused with your ex-husband if you think I’m going to try to control you or explode on you. You wanna go traipsing off to New York? Go right ahead.” Colby shifted to drive and pulled to the curb and waited for a moment to enter the flow of traffic.
“So you think I wanted Antony to hit me? I can’t believe you said something that stupid to me. I don’t care what I said it was never his place to beat me or try to run my life. Don’t think because I’m saved now I’m going to let you do it Colby Lawrence Thorn, ring or no ring. You are not the boss of me. I answer to one God alone and his name is not Colby.” Rebecca crossed her left leg over her right knee and leaned as far away from Colby as possible in the passenger seat. 
“I never asked you to answer to me, and while you’re answering to God why don’t  you let him know I didn’t sign up for marriage to a stubborn, bitter, woman afraid to allow her husband to take care of her and love her like Christ loved the church. Don’t try to turn this on me Rebecca. I’ve never tried to control you and I never will. Don’t listen to me or the doctor, fine. Don’t call me from New York to come get your sick behind out of the hospital, either.” Colby turned onto the street and turned the radio on to the local gospel station. His prayer seemed to go out of the window so he decided to let it stay there. The constant battle to love Rebecca over the last few weeks was beginning to wear him down. He turned the volume up to drown out the sound of his wife mumbling in Spanish under her breath. 

Chapter Two 
Dani eased her top back on over a pink camisole. Bras were too painful since she fell off of her bike and slid across the pavement. She had thanked God at least a thousand times for her helmet after being picked up off the side of the road by an off duty police officer. The dip in the road hadn’t been there the year before so she didn’t maneuver her bike well when the concrete lowered. The next thing she remembered were her gloved hands being grabbed by the state trooper. 
Dr. Justin walked into the room and sat down on the backless chair next to the exam table.  He opened the folder with the first three letters of her last name printed in orange. A white slip of paper with what looked like chicken scratch fell to the floor. A slight smile came and went across Dr. Justin’s face and Dani crossed her ankles and tapped the back of her foot against her sling back. 
“Well, what’s the prescription Doc?” Dani eased down from the table until her she was more leaning against it than sitting.
“I want you to make an appointment to follow up with a specialist at Dr. Thompson’s office. Her name is Dr. Goodman. She is one of the best in her field and she’ll be able to give you a definitive diagnosis.” Dr. Justin handed her the slip of paper that fell to the floor. 
“Why do I need a second opinion for a couple of bruises? Just hook me up with some cream and I’ll be healed up and on my way. I’ve already purchased a protective shield so if I fall off Bubbles I won’t bruise like this again.” Dani chuckled. 
“Dr. Thompson is an oncologist. I found some rather odd lumps and the discoloration from the fall is not normal, Danielle. There is a high probability you have breast cancer and Dr. Goodman is the best diagnostic radiologist in the area. She’s part of an awesome team dedicated to nothing but breast cancer.” Dr. Justin stood up. “I could be incorrect and the tissue has just hardened from the bruising but I’d rather you get a second opinion. Give the note to the coordinator on the way out to make your appointment for Dr. Thompson’s office and a follow up appointment with me after you see them. Make it for no more than a month from now.”
Dani felt her head bob up and down but couldn’t feel her legs moving beneath her. She was not old enough to have breast cancer. There was no history of it in her family and she stayed active. It did not make sense for her to need to see a breast cancer specialist. Her feet stopped in front of the coordinator’s desk and she handed the young woman the paper. 
The coordinator spoke but Dani couldn’t hear her voice. She nodded as she took two small cards from the college age young lady. 
“Ms. Wardeen, did you hear me?” The coordinator waved her hand in front of Dani’s face. “Are those times okay for your appointments?” 
Dani blinked and looked down at the dates and times on the cards. She was scheduled to see the radiologist three days later and Dr. Justin in four weeks. Dani nodded. “Can you see if they have something earlier or later? I have two clients around that time.” 
The coordinator nodded.  Dani watched her type something on her keyboard. After a few moments the young lady pulled a new appointment card out and wrote the same day and a later time for Dani. “Does that work for you?”
Dani nodded and smiled as she placed both cards in the top of her purse. Seventy two hours to dooms day. She shook her head. What was she worried about? There was no way she could have cancer. 
***
Dani doodled on the napkin and ignored the salad from her favorite chicken fast food restaurant. She drew multiple versions of a woman’s silhouette with and without large breasts. When her stomach growled loud enough for her to hear it she placed the pen on the napkin and picked up her sandwich. Her appetite was nowhere to be found but she wanted the growling to stop interrupting her thoughts.
“Dani,” Becca click clacked up to her formica table and placed a small briefcase in the chair next to her. “It’s good to see you spending some of that hard earned money for a change. Thou shalt not shop online exclusively!”
“I hear you.” Dani swallowed the bite of chicken and lump of tears lodged in her throat. As much as she needed someone to talk to, she couldn’t bring herself to lean on her friend. She’d been failed by women one time too many during vulnerable times in her past. “But as you can see I have no bags so it’ll be me and my budget minded browser making it happen.”
“I just gotta show you the right spots once I get back from New York. My mom is talking about flying back to the Dominican Republic and I’m not trying to hear that noise. My aunt is dying from breast cancer and wants to see everyone before she goes. I have got to find a way to talk them into coming here instead.” Becca flopped down in the chair across from Dani. “Sounds like a problem to work my way through while getting a sixty minute deep tissue massage with Chandra, while she is knocking the kinks outs of my back.”
Dani nodded and chewed fighting back tears. She hadn’t been able to lay on her stomach since the accident, and now that Dr. Thompson had confirmed she did in fact have breast cancer she wondered if she would ever be able to do anything the same again. 
“Dani, are you okay?” Becca shook her head and a few strands of her curly hair escaped the corporate bun she used at times to try to tame them. “Listen to me, rattling on like I’m the only woman in the world with problems.”
“I’ll be fine, girl. I just need to get my bearings and put together a game plan. You know how I do.” Dani cleared her throat. There was no need to get upset until the doctor received the final results back from the lab. Until then she would go on with business as usual. No one had to know a thing. 
“Of course I do. Just remember life is a team sport and I’m on your team.  I got your back. You know all of that good stuff.”Becca stood up and stretched. She picked up the briefcase in the chair between them. “You don’t have to be strong alone, Dani. Trust me, some stuff people shouldn’t go through alone.  When we try to handle everything by ourselves it changes the essence of who we are, and not in a good way.”
Dani stood up. She hugged Becca and pecked her on the cheek. “I hear you. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know when I need you.”   

Chapter Three
Rebecca patted her hair and gave a brief smile to the woman staring back at her in the mirror. She was quite content with herself for not going to New York and for convincing her mom that they should return to Houston instead of going to their home country. Once she was able to get them to come, she knew they would stay. It was just a matter of convincing them again.  She applied a light coat of lip gloss. “How will I ever get them to stay here?”
The mirror stared back in silence as Rebecca shrugged and placed the gloss back in her purse. She covered the handle to the door with a paper towel as she exited the ladies restroom. It was located right outside of the health ministry office at her church. She ignored the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach and the quiet voice telling her she had not compromised at all. The paper towel landed silently at the bottom of the waste basket next to her seat. 
“Rebecca Thorn,” a thin petite woman gestured for her to come into the office. “My name is Brenda Green. Please have a seat and tell me a little more about yourself and why you want to join the Breast Cancer Fundraising Committee.”
“My aunt was recently diagnosed in the last state of breast cancer and I want to help raise awareness while I learn more about the disease. I bring a great background in events and fundraising from my time in New York. During my first marriage heading up committees and lending my husband’s name and money to worthy causes was what I was expected to do.” Rebecca straightened her spine and smiled at Brenda. 
“That is very commendable, and an experienced fundraiser is someone whose assistance we do desperately need. The event is almost about five months away so we are a bit behind the ball, and will require a good amount of your free time. Do you believe you’ll be able to give that?” Brenda looked at the beautiful engagement and wedding band set on Rebecca’s hand. 
“Oh yes, my husband and I run a successful marketing company but he knows how important this topic is to me with my aunt’s diagnosis of late. When I heard the announcement in church on Sunday I knew that helping with this event was where I needed to be.” Rebecca relaxed and then straightened up in her chair again. Colby would not be happy to hear about her joining a ministry that would require a lot of her time so soon into their marriage, but she decided he would have to adjust. 
“Great, well if you two are in agreement we would love to have you on board. I’ve looked over your profile and information. We’ll have an email sent out about the positions needing to be filled and everything coming up in the next few days.” Sister Greene rose to her feet. “Let’s go look at the information on the past fundraisers so you can get a feel for what we need. 
Rebecca smiled and stood to her feet. Colby would understand right? He would have to; she had already made the decision to proceed.
***
“This is crazy, Ma. I don’t need to learn how to give myself a breast exam. I know Nana and her sister passed from breast cancer but teenagers my age don’t get breast cancer.” Dominique rolled her eyes and shook her head before crossing her arms.
“Yes they do. The youngest case of breast cancer was for a 10 year old.” Jenessa stared at her daughter’s crossed arms until she uncrossed them. “You are already at a higher risk because my mother had it. You can’t be too careful about this Dominique.”
“Yeah, she was one out of millions of children. I’m more likely to get hit by lightning than have breast cancer this young. Sheesh, mom, get a grip.” Dominique flopped back in the chair across from her mother’s exam table.
“I’ma get a grip on you if you don’t check that mouth of yours. Don’t think cause you have a few inches on me I can’t get you down. I’ll sit on you and it’ll be over.” Jenessa’s crossed ankles dangled inches from the ground. “I’m your mother not one of your little girlfriends in the street. You need to remember who you’re talking to Dominique Armstrong.”
“Yes ma’am. It really helps that you remind me every few conversations.” Dominique gave her a sarcastic smile. 
Jenessa inched forward to get down from the exam table when the door opened. Dr. Justin walked in and smiled at Jenessa and then Dominique. Dominique’s entire demeanor changed when the handsome man turned to smile at her.
“Good morning, Dominique. Alright Jenessa...” Dr. Justin sat down on the backless stool with three wheels. “Hopefully it won’t be so long before you’re next visit. Now all that is left to do is your breast exam.”
“Yes, thanks for waiting for me to call my daughter in from the lobby. I want her to see how it is done. She needs to start giving the exams to herself soon.” Jenessa smiled at Dominique as if she hadn’t been ready to discipline her with a body slam and smash maneuver a few moments ago. 
“Absolutely and she is also able to get her mammograms earlier because of your family history. So, lay back for me and let’s begin. Dominique, come stand on the other side of your mother for me.” Dr. Justin pointed at the empty space at the opposite side of the exam table. 
Jenessa laid back and tried to relax. The years she had skipped her appointments she had not skipped any meals so she was a bit embarrassed about her weight gain. Dominique smiled at her. She relaxed a bit. Beneath the smart mouth and rolling eyes was the sweet little girl she’d loved for years.  
Dr. Justin motioned for Dominique to come close to see what he was doing. He raised both hands up over his head and motioned for Jenessa to do the same. He began the exam of the left breast and paused before switching to the right. He examined the right with no hesitance.
“Jenessa, I need to reexamine your other breast again.”Dr. Justin reexamined the left breast. He offered Jenessa a hand to help her sit back up.
“Jenessa are you okay continuing your visit with Dominique here or would you like to talk once she has gone back to the waiting area?” Dr. Justin pulled out his prescription pad and sat on the backless stool. 
“We can continue now. Teenagers move slowly. By the time we’re done talking she will still be in the hall.” Jenessa chuckled. She removed the top of the paper gown and put her button down top back on. 
“Well, I want you to go see Dr. Goodman for a full diagnostic workup. You’ve missed the last two mammograms scheduled and I found a nice sized lump in your left breast. Have you been experiencing any discomfort or pain?” Dr. Justin handed her the piece of paper he’d been writing on. 
“I…uh…lump?” Jenessa looked at her daughter briefly before looking at the floor. She knew she needed to take better care of herself. There was just never enough time. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am. Please stop and make a follow up appointment and give this paper to the patient care coordinator. She’ll get you in this week.” Dr. Justin stood up and turned to Dominique. “Young lady, please make sure your mother goes to her follow up appointment. With your family history she cannot afford to cancel this one like she did the other ones.”
“Yes, sir.” Dominique tore her eyes from the doctor and looked at Jenessa. “I’ll make sure she makes it to these.”
“Good, your mom is busy. I know she forgot about those and had to cancel them for work meetings, but if you help her I’m sure this is an appointment she’ll make.” Dr. Justin turned and smiled at Jenessa. “No point making all of that money if you’re not gonna be here for the long haul to enjoy it. Make a follow up appointment with me after you see Dr. Goodman.  Have a good afternoon, ladies.”
Jenessa eased off of the exam table. Dominique opened the door for her and led her to the patient care coordinator. Jenessa handed the note she received from Dr. Justin to the young lady who smiled at her. 
“Ms. Armstrong, is Friday at 12:30 okay for you?” The young lady pushed her glasses up. “Ms. Armstrong?”
Dominique nudged Jenessa with her elbow. She picked up her mother’s smartphone and checked the calendar. Jenessa took the device from her daughter. “Pardon me. My mind drifted. Yes, Friday will be fine.”
Dominique took the phone back and entered the information for Jenessa, then accepted the appointment card from the young lady as well. Jenessa shook her head to clear her mind. They walked out into the sweltering Texas heat.
 “I want ice cream. Let’s stop on the way home. I need something to eat,” Dominique said.
***
Dani plopped down in front of her computer.  She wiggled the mouse and waited for the screen to light up. Air escaped her lungs and eased out of the small opening between her lips. She could not believe this had happened to her. A nightmare occurred when she went to the office and she believed she would wake up soon. Danielle refused to believe she wasn’t cancer free. She still had children to breastfeed, once she was married.
The computer processor whirred as she pulled up the web browser. Her email inbox was full of unread messages that required her attention. The natural hair show that her stylists wanted to enter was coming up.  What about the battered women’s shelter “pamper and prosper day”? She was partnered with the local women’s shelter to do that one. How could she be in cancer treatment and run a fully staffed and still thriving, recession proof spa? The bottom line was that she couldn’t. So she had to believe she had been misdiagnosed. She had to get online to find out why her breasts were so bruised and why they felt like lava all the time after and even right before her little spill from Bubbles?  Maybe she needed to find a less dangerous and expensive hobby than her motorcycle. 
Dan tinkered around in her inbox for thirty minutes. Finally, her need for search engine intervention overshadowed the still small voice telling her not to lookup breast cancer. There were still no actual results from the lab. It could all be a misunderstanding. She was not buying it. The still small voice told her to trust Him and wait to speak with the doctor. That appointment was two weeks away. By that time she’d be bald from pulling out her hair, wondering what she may be up against. 
With no formal diagnosis she pulled up her homepage and entered her symptoms: bruises, raised skin, hot breasts and mild to extreme irritation for several weeks. Her eyes crossed for a second after she read the total number of links in her search results. She poured over the pages for hours upon hours. When the dull ache in her back turned into a throbbing pain she finally stopped and stood up to stretch. 
Instead of walking away from her desk, or checking to see if the last stylist locked up behind herself when she exited three hours ago, Dani continued to stare at the screen. Fear ran up and down her spine. Doubt and worry danced on her temples. This could not be happening. It didn’t matter if someone ran into the building right now. Based on what she’d read for hours, she could be a ticking time bomb. How had she let this happen? What game plan could she make for an unknown enemy? Not enough research, still in trial studies, rarest form of cancer and prevalent in younger women. Normally Dani liked being in the spotlight and loved being recognized for being unique. This was the kind of recognition she would rather do without. Her obsessive need to know everything opened the door to her fears. Mentally tormented by the possibility of having the least researched and most aggressive form of breast cancer, thoughts weighed on Dani’s mind like a ton of bricks. The four simple words she typed were found in more than one hundred and eighteen thousand web sources. For once in her life, Dani was not sure this was a battle she would win.

Chapter Four
“Hey honey,” Colby pulled his tie off as he entered their bedroom. “Missed you at dinner tonight.”
“There was another meeting for the ministry. I had to be there, Colby. You didn’t want me in New York, and I’m not going so stop with the questions.” Rebecca pulled her hair into a shower cap and pulled her robe tighter together before she tied it into a knot with the terry cloth belt. 
“You’re trippin. First you miss the dinner date you asked me to come to and now you’re telling me I should be happy to get stood up because you didn’t go to New York. That wasn’t my decision to make, remember? ” Colby placed his hands on his hips and mocked Rebecca’s tone of voice. “You don’t control me. I do what I wanna do.”
“You’re not funny, Mr. Thorn. Stick to your day job.” Rebecca walked into their bathroom. 
“I’d rather stick to my wife except she is never home. Maybe I should join the ministry at church. Then at least I’d see you outside of work.” Colby stepped into the bathroom and gently took Rebecca’s hand in his. 
Tears welled up and sat right behind the ridge of Rebecca’s eye.
“I just want to spend some time with my wife. What is so wrong with that? Don’t you want to be happy? Don’t you want to have a good marriage? Children? How can we do that if you’re never here, Becca. C’mon, you were the one who told me I was doing too much when we were engaged. Now you’re more busy than me.”
“Colby, I have to do this. It’s just because we’re in the beginning phases of the event. Once things are moving along, we’ll be able to spend more time together. This is my way of building my aunt’s legacy and if I can talk my aunt and mom into staying and helping with the event she won’t go back to the Dominican Republic and leave me here by myself.”Rebecca shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I need her Colby. I don’t know what I would do without her.”
“Who do you need? Your mother or your aunt? Why aren’t God and I enough to make you not feel alone if she moves a few hours away? She’d just be a plane ride away? I love your mother and your aunt but I married you. Not them. What happened to leaving your parent and cleaving to your spouse? Did you hear anything that the counselor talked about or that the couple taught us in premarital counseling?” Colby let her hand go and sat on the end of their marble tile garden bathtub.
“You weren’t involved with someone who made you their whole world and then turned on you Colby. I trust you and I know you’re not Antony but part of me is having a problem with treating anyone like family because of the abuse. That is why I don’t have a lot of girlfriends. Please give me some time with this. I love you. Please just don’t push me too hard or fast on this. I’m really trying.” Rebecca opened the door to the shower stall and turned on the water. 
“I’m trying Rebecca but it’s hard for me to be there for you when you continue to push me away.” Colby watched his wife pull her hair up and pile it into a big wavy mass on top of her head. “I’ll talk to you more once you get into bed. Enjoy your shower.”
Rebecca turned and let her robe fall open as she hugged Colby. The steam from the shower made the air in the small space warm and thick. “Why don’t we enjoy it together?” 
“It is better for the environment. You know me always willing to do what I can to help Mother Earth.” Colby grinned as Rebecca let her robe drop to the floor and climbed into the shower. “I’ll be in there in a moment, Mrs. Thorn.”
Rebecca smiled as she closed the glass door to the two person marble shower. Colby smiled as he left to place his clothes in the walk–in closet. Glad the argument was over; he paused as he thought about Rebecca in the shower. His excitement dwindled just a bit as he remembered this was the way their last serious discussion ended. He hoped his wife was not trying to use their physical relationship to avoid the problems he felt brewing beneath surface. The thought left his mind at the sight of his bride’s cute index finger motioning for him to join her.  
Calmed after their shower Rebecca and Colby exited the bathroom drenched in sweat. Colby wrapped his towel around his waist and watched Rebecca pull her matching pajama set out of her lingerie drawer. His mind played their conversation about her mom and aunt going to Dominican Republic over and over. His lips parted to tell her something when her smartphone rang. Instead of leaving it on the table after checking the number, she picked it up and pressed the talk button. 
“Hi, mami. How are you?” Rebecca paused as she sat on the edge of her side of the bed. “Are you sure? Oh great mami that is perfect. I have some really exciting news for you. You and Teva are going to be so excited. I can’t wait until you get here. “ 
Colby’s eyes almost fell out of his head they opened so wide. 
“I don’t think that is necessary, mami. You’re family. You should stay here.” Rebecca paused and gave Colby a ‘honey I love you’ wink and smile. 
Colby shook his head and climbed into the bed under the sheet only. 
“Yes, call me with the details tomorrow. I’m so glad you’re coming. I wanted to see you. You’re going to like it so much you’re going to want to stay. We should just ship your things now and start house hunting for you. Real estate here is really a buyer’s market, mami.” Rebecca turned her back to Colby and sat on the bed. 
Colby stood and went to her side of the bed and made the universal sign for up. 
Rebecca nodded at Colby and held up her right index finger. “No I don’t think that is enough time, Mami. Maybe a one way ticket will be less expensive. ..alright. I’ll pay if you need to change it…love you too. “
“Rebecca what just happened? When did you invite them to come and stay forever? Have we discussed that already?” Colby pulled himself into sitting position in the bed. 
“In the car you told me to have them come here. What happened to you giving me some time with this? I thought we agreed on that in the bathroom. Now you’re upset again. This doesn’t make any sense.” Rebecca pulled on the camisole and boy shorts. 
“We did not talk about anything in the car. What we did was yell at each other. Don’t tell me you’re really thinking this is gonna help us spend time with each other.” Colby crossed his arms and leaned back into the headboard. 
“It will, all four of us. They’ll be staying here with us. It is gonna be the best of all worlds. Trust me, Colby.” Rebecca climbed into the bed and planted a slow peck on his lips. “I just want to spend some time with them before they leave and convince my mom to stay in the area once Teva goes home to be with the Lord.”
“Yeah, right. How much time do we have before they arrive?” Colby pulled the small accessory from her hair and watched it spill down her shoulders and back. 
Rebecca leaned forward and then laid her head on his chest as she made circles on his bicep. “All night.  They land in the morning.” She looked up and offered her puckered lips to Colby to kiss. 
Colby shook his arm and slid Rebecca off his chest before he slid back down in the bed and turned his back to her. “Good night, Rebecca.”
 ***
Dani sat in Dr. Thompson’s office and listened to the large art deco clock tick. It was one of those modern classic pieces that she knew ran on electricity but sounded like those big grandfather clocks in rich people’s houses on TV that they would wind up. In the past the sound would have grated  her nerves, but today it simply magnified the self-inflicted torture. She remembered how the torture began   when she researched her symptoms and her possible diagnosis on the internet. On Sunday she watched a local pastor on the internet. He  taught on trusting God which calmed her nerves enough to be able to pretend to enjoy work for the week. How could she have scheduled a follow up appointment on a Wednesday? It would have been better for her to go in on Monday and get it over with, instead of burning a client’s ear and ruining a box of weave glue. Cursings and blessings from the same mouth took on a whole new meaning at that moment. 
The door creaked a little and Dr. Thompson entered. An older gentleman in his late fifties walked in and sat behind the desk. His salt and pepper hair, height, skin complexion and attire made him look like a cross between television dads, Phillip Banks and Cliff Huxtable. Everything about him was comforting and felt like sitting down with her Godfather, if she had one. She hoped pops had good news. 
“Good morning, Ms. Wardeen. Would you like some water or fruit juice?” He nodded towards the small mini refrigerator. 
“Sure.” Dani opened the small stainless steel door and took an apple juice out. “Thank you.”
Dr. Thompson waited for her to open the bottle and take a small sip. 
Dani felt small beads of sweat pop up across her brow.
“My pleasure,” he opened the manila and multicolor tabbed folder in front of him. “We received your results from the lab. The good news is that we caught the cancer early. You have triple negative inflammatory breast cancer. It is hard to treat but there have been successful cases where we were able to beat it.”
Dani choked on the apple juice. The images from the websites and the statistics on each form of cancer that matched her symptoms swirled around in her mind and crashed against each other. She remembered her surroundings when she smelled the apple juice and felt Dr. Thompson place facial tissue in her hand. Everything she prayed against had happened. 
“Are you sure Dr. Thompson? I read online where this has been misdiagnosed and I could just have a blood disorder that makes my body more conducive to abnormal bruising.” Dani’s leg bounced up and down.
“Ms. Wardeen, I know you read a lot of alarming stories, statistics and other things online but I assure you we have not misdiagnosed you. If you would like to see another doctor for a second opinion we have enough left from the sample to have it sent there.”
“That won’t be necessary. I believe you Dr. Thompson. I just don’t want to. I’m too young for this. The odds are against me beating this. Why couldn’t it just be regular breast cancer? Oh God.” A blood curdling scream ripped from Dani’s mouth as she slumped over in her chair. 
Dr. Thompson pressed the intercom and asked his nurse to set up one of the recovery rooms. He also told her to call in the patient counselor. “We need to discuss your treatment. While we caught it early we still need to begin treatment to stop the cancer from spreading. Some of the things you may have read about like how aggressively this form of breast cancer spreads were correct. We want to schedule your mastectomy and then get you started on some chemotherapy.”
“Mastectomy?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. Then we’d have to do targeted therapy through radiation and reconstructive surgery.”
“Radiation? Reconstructive surgery? I don’t believe this.” 
“After that we’ll discuss additional systemic treatment to prevent recurrence.”
“You’re talking about pumping me full of chemicals and possibly killing me with treatment before I even have a chance to decide if I want to get married and have children. How can I make a decision about what I’m gonna do next when I just found out what is going on? I need at least a week to decide what I’m going to do.” Dani placed the apple juice bottle on the edge of his desk in front of her.
“I understand you’re upset ,Ms. Wardeen, but swift action and aggressive treatment will be best in treating this cancer. We detected it early but it progresses very rapidly,” Dr. Thompson said.
“I’ll make an appointment to come back next Monday. I need time to pray about this. I respect your opinion and I’m glad Dr. Justin referred me to your office, but your opinion is not what drives me, Dr. Thompson. I know someone whose input is more important than yours.” Dani stood up as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
Dr. Thompson stood with her.
“Where is the restroom? I need to freshen up and get myself together.” Dani looked at the art deco clock on the wall behind Dr. Thompson.
“It’s out of my office and to the right of the lobby, across from the patient services department.” Dr. Thompson watched Dani turn and reach for the doorknob. “I know this is hard to process, Ms. Wardeen, but please know I’m here to help. My foremost priority is to care for you with the most successful proven methods to treat this and to recover from it. You can still go on to live a full life, but you have to be here to do it. Doing nothing will definitely result in you not being able to do that.”
“I don’t doubt your dedication to your patients’ health Dr. Thompson I just need to talk to the person dedicated to every concern I have. I’ll see you if you have an appointment on Monday to let you know what I’ve decided to do.” Dani opened the door. 
***
Jenessa eased her car into the garage. She pulled up the screen on her phone and pulled up a bookmarked video surveillance site. Her daughter leaned against the kitchen sink. She hated feeling like she spied on her children but ever since an eighteen year old boy tried to climb into Dominique’s room three months ago, internal surveillance seemed like a good idea. Whisper soft garage door system and sneaky teens meant using every tool at her disposal and equaled one informed mother. Jenessa turned up the volume on the phone and scrunched her nose up. Why did her daughter insist on chewing gum like a cow?
“Girl you are crazy. Jarrell doesn’t like you. He likes me.” Dominique rolled her eyes and twirled the gum she chewed on her finger. The phone on the wall rang. She walked over and looked at the caller id. “Hey I have to catch the other phone let me call you back.”
“Armstrong residence.” Dominique picked up the phone with one hand and slid her cell phone in her pocket with the other. She walked over to the kitchen sink to wash her hands. “No, she’s not in right now but this is her daughter. Is there a message for her that I can write down? Just let me get to the message pad.”
Dominique dried her hands while she balanced the headset between her cheek and shoulder. Once her hands were dry she walked into the family room and made her way to the message pad next to the cordless phone console. She pulled a bright pink and blue pen from her pocket and flopped down in an overstuffed armchair to write down the message. “You were able to squeeze her in for this Friday for the follow up appointment? Wait is that the same appointment she was supposed to make it to a week ago…you can tell me I’m her daughter…I don’t know what a HIPAA …yes ma’am…My bad I’ll be sure to give my mom the message. ..Yes ma’am goodbye.”
Uh oh. Jenessa knew the only thing that call could have been about was her follow up appointment about her breast. She made a point of making her keys jingle in the lock before entering through the door from the garage. Jenessa put her suitcase down in the hall way. The click clack of her heels on the laminate hardwood floor echoed as she made her way toward the family room. 
“Hey mama.” Dominique eyed her like a hawk. “How was work? Did you hear back from the doctor yet about your follow up appointment? Any news? Are you okay?” 
Jenessa cleared her throat to buy a few more seconds of time. Lying never felt right. “Dominique I told you before to let me concern myself about that. Focus on school and your responsibilities and everything will be fine.”
“In other words, Dominique, do as I say not as I do because I never made the appointment. I have cancelled it twice cause your need to know whether or not I’m gonna die from cancer like Nana and Auntie Emma is not important.” Tears spilled from her daughter’s eyes. 
Jenessa gasped and reached for her daughter. “Oh Nique, I’m sorry. I never even thought about that. You know I would never let anything like that happen to me. I’m going to be fine. Who else is going to take care of you?  Don’t worry, girl. God is not going to allow anything to happen to me. I’m fine.”
“Right and I’m supposed to believe you because you’ve been so honest with me about this every other time we talked. You want me to feel all on myself for the rest of my life because I could get cancer but you won’t take five funky little minutes from your precious job to make sure you don’t have it. You’re such a phony. Ugghhhh!” Dominique stormed into the kitchen. 
Jenessa followed her and prayed before counting to ten. It took every bit of her self control to keep from knocking her daughters light brown eyes from their sockets. “I know you’re upset and I’m not saying you shouldn’t be because my actions were a bit selfish but if you EVER in your life talk to me like that again you won’t have to feel on yourself for the rest of your life because it will be over. Now I’ll make another appointment and get the second opinion so you can stop worrying. I do care about how you feel, but as the head of this house, my main priority is to keep food on the table. You will not make me feel bad for being good at that.”
“Maybe if you hadn’t run Daddy off you wouldn’t have to be so good at it. You think I’m still a little kid, but I hear him and his wife talking sometimes and I know you did something to him. I know he didn’t leave because y’all didn’t get along anymore. How will you do anything to me if I end up burying you like you did Grandma? Am I supposed to be happy because at least you were here to buy me a bra, and teach me how to apply my makeup? I think you could find five minutes to get checked out instead of chasing behind old dude and working all the time. I’m old enough to worry about you. You’re the only mother I have.” Dominique brushed away the tears that were falling down her face with the back of her hand. She backed away when Jenessa took a slow step toward her.
“You’re right. I’m being selfish by not going. I apologize. Don’t worry Nique. I’ll make the next appointment they give me okay?” Jenessa drew her daughter into a close hug and stroked her hair until her hard sobs turned into soft whimpers. “Just do me a favor and leave the past behind us. Cause while I am here I will still knock you out. I’ll be sure to tell your father your eavesdropping skills have only improved with time. You always were a nosy little thing.”
Dominique lifted her head and gave a weak smile to her mother. 
Jenessa rested her chin awkwardly on her daughters shoulder as Dominique bent over and leaned forward next to Jenessa. “Now go clean your face and get ready to pick up your brother from practice for dinner.”
Jenessa waited until Dominique was at the other end of the house before she picked up the phone. She pulled up the caller id and punched dial on the doctor’s office number. “This is Jenessa Armstrong. Yes I received a message from my daughter that you called. I looked at the date you gave her for me. I’m afraid that still isn’t going to work. I already have another important meeting that day. I’ll call you back when my schedule becomes a little more free…Yes…alright…Thank you, you do the same.”

Chapter Five
Rebecca smiled at the thin young woman across the table from her. When Sister Green entered the room she nodded and stood as the woman approached her seat. Two other women walked in behind her and sat next to her and the other woman. 
“I’ve looked at the suggestions and experience of everyone working alongside us this year and I am very excited. Vichonda and Rebecca came with some very trendy and new ideas for the type and theme of the fundraiser. While both are capable and the ideas are I’m sure able to bring great results we have decided on what the event will be and who will head it up.  Vichonda,…” Sister Green turned to the tall curvaceous woman and smiled “we believe that continuing to do a fashion show will be in the best interest of our breast cancer ministry by setting a tradition for the kind of event we will host each year.  Rebecca your professional skill set and connections would be the perfect fit for the committee chair. So while we are not implementing your full event proposal we would like for you to head up the event committee. Vichonda will serve as your assistant.”
Rebecca smiled at the young lady again, who cut her eyes before anyone saw, and then smiled. “Thank you Sister Green I look forward to working with Vichonda and making this year better than ever.”
“What was wrong with the previous years?” Vichonda looked at Rebecca then Sister Green.
“This will need to be bigger than any of the previous events and we’re expecting for it to be able to generate not only church participation but we’re also looking for connections that will garner media attention as well. We know you two will be able to combine your efforts and bring about an amazing event!” Sister Green smiled and nodded at one of the young ladies she entered into the room with. “This is the information for the vendors, sponsors, attendees and other contacts from previous years. We have found it takes about ten to fifteen hours of work per week, even along with the help of volunteers,  to put together a stellar event. If for any reason you don’t believe you’ll be able to commit that much time, Rebecca, after discussing it with your husband, let us know.”
Rebecca held a breath. She hadn’t even thought about how her decision to accept the position would sit with Colby. Of course he would be a bit upset initially but in the end he knew how important this cause was to her. Maybe if she talked her Mother and Aunt into staying more than a week or two she could have them assist her. That would take a lot of the burden from her already heavy schedule. 
“Rebecca, when will you be able to confirm you’re able to accept the position?” Sister Green let her hands rest in her lap. 
“I’ll have an answer to you by Friday, Brenda.” Rebecca smiled and twirled a strand of hair around her hand. Discussion or no discussion, the fashion show was a way to start fighting back against the disease threatening to take her Teva. Her answer was yes before they asked.
***
“This is some fancy place you bring me to just to get my roots done. Mija, I believe you have something up your sleeve. Don’t start up on that ‘you and Teva should stay’ stuff again. We are leaving. My sister wants to spend her last days in the midst of her family, in her homeland. Respect her wishes.” Rebecca’s mother sat back in the chair and allowed the manicurist to rub and massage her hand.
“And why do you have to return with her? I’m your family. This is your land now. I don’t want you to go back there. I need you here with me.” Rebecca smiled at her manicurist. 
“Colby is your family now too. And his sisters and mother who love you very much. I saw this  with my own eyes at your wedding. What is really going on with you? I have not known you to act so strangely since you were with Antony.” Her mother crossed herself with her free hand. 
“This is not about Antony. I love Colby but neither he nor his family can replace you. You’re my mother and she is my favorite aunt. Why would I want you to go back? Who is going to help me when I get pregnant?” Rebecca let her head drop down between her shoulders. 
“How can that happen when you are not home to do what is needed for babies to come with your husband? So many hours away at the church, with friends, with clients. It is not good for such a new marriage. You need to be home to make babies, mija. My staying will not help with that.”
“It will. I need help with the event for the church. I can’t do all the work needed and I have sent emails to all of the previous volunteers and no one has responded. I need you and Teva to stay and help me with this at least until everything is in place and I have more volunteers. Please mami.”
“What event is this and how long will it be? Maybe we can extend our trip for a few weeks. Teva has a few sights and things she wants to see in Texas before we leave the states. She says these last few days will be her best. She’s so brave. I’m so proud of her.”
“Well, I wanted to do a roller derby theme at a skating rink with a synchronized skaters competition but we are doing a fashion show instead which is okay. I can still incorporate a few of my ideas but mostly I’m using their template from previous events which is why I need your help. You know I have not ever done well following someone else’s game plan when they put me in charge. I prefer to use my own style. You’ve always been better at helping me implement someone else’s plan. Please Mama?”
“I will discuss it with Teva. I will start tomorrow cause tonight we are going to some ho down…line dance something your aunt has found to do on her transition list. Make no mistake, Rebecca, we are leaving and when I go home I’m not moving back to the states. You are my daughter but you are not my entire family. When you and Colby fix whatever is wrong with your relationship and I have nieto I will be glad to come and visit with you for a few weeks but, mija, it will only be a visit. My time in America is ended. Teva and I are of one mind. It’s time to go home.” Rebecca’s mother leaned her head back and sighed as the manicurist placed her hand in a dish filled with liquid. 
Rebecca opened her mouth then closed it. Her plan to keep her mother in America would have to work. Sure she had said that she was not staying in America but Rebecca always dismissed it as the grumblings of a disgruntled immigrant.  How would she live if her mother went back to the Dominican Republic? Maybe Colby would love her enough to go with them.  What would happen to her marriage if he didn’t?  One thing was sure. Rebecca could not imagine life in America alone with only in laws and friends.  Dorotea Taveres was the only family Rebecca believed she had. 
***
Charles Jr. checked the caller id for the third day in a row. Jenessa watched him from the corner of her eye and sighed. Hopefully her son couldn’t see how hard it was for her to focus on her copy of Diamond Butterfly. It was a devotional on growing in intimacy with Christ which was the only kind of book she had time to read these days. Those daily words of encouragement were the only thing that kept her going sometimes. When did her children become so…well Charles Jr. become so nosy? She expected Dominique to say something about the appointment she cancelled at any time. It had been a week since their confrontation. Now it looked like the baton had been passed to Charles Jr. Her daughter reminded her of herself so much sometimes that it scared her, and Jenessa did not scare easy. 
“You expecting a call?” Jenessa sat the ereading device in her hands down. 
“When are you going to go and see the doctor about the lump he found in your breast mom?” Charles Jr. sat next to her on the couch. “Dominique told me what happened and I haven’t seen any reminder calls about the appointment she made for you which means you cancelled what is that…three?”
“This is a very busy season at the office right now, honey. Once things slow down I’ll be sure to go in and see someone.”Jenessa picked her ereader back up. 
Charles Jr. gently took the ereader from his mom’s hands. He turned the device off and sat it on the coffee table.
“You know I hate when people mess with my books and make me lose my page. At least I know who’s been doing it.” Jenessa chuckled as she handed her son the ereader Jewelry Mark with the cover of Diamond Butterfly.
“It won’t matter if we burn every book you have ever learned something from if you die because you refused to get a follow up appointment and get diagnosed three weeks before you die. Mom, you know better. Why won’t you go and make an appointment? You can find time to go out with Harold, run around town getting spa treatments but you can’t take an hour to see if you have cancer. You could have that gene thing and then what. You know black women die more from cancer even though they get it less than everyone else. You’re the one who taught me and Dominique all of this stuff so why won’t you get tested?”Charles Jr. stood up and paced the floor. 
Jenessa held back tears as she marveled at how much he reminded her of his father. 
“I don’t want to sound like a walkathon awareness pamphlet. You know all of this stuff. It is crazy you can afford to go and get the test, have good insurance and won’t use it, but make me and Dominique go and volunteer at the health clinic to help people without insurance. Didn’t you teach us that when we mistreat or don’t appreciate what we have, it is the same as any other sin? So what do you call what you’re doing?” Charles Jr. sat down next to Jenessa. “Don’t you wanna be here to see Dominique graduate and get married? Don’t you wanna see me grow up and be the black Tony Hawk? How can I thank God, Jesus, my wife Keke Palmer Armstrong and my mama if my mother is dead? Do we have to have you promise?”
“You know what the Bible says about your word, Charles Jr. Your yes and no should be sufficient. We haven’t been doing that in this family so why would we start now? And why do you think that girl from Akeeka and the Bee is gonna be your wife? She is much older than you and lives in Hollywood.” Jenessa laughed as she picked up her ereader from the couch next to her son. Standing up she ignored the pain that shot through her armpit, almost as if to taunt her. 
“It’s Akeelah and the Bee and I will be in Hollywood too so why wouldn’t she want me? I’ll be a millionaire without all of the actor drama she’ll be tired of by then. I’ll be a good, polite, Christian man. She’ll be crazy not to get with all this. But don’t try to change the subject.” Charles Jr. stood up and looked down into his mothers eyes. “We should start making promises now because we stopped being able to trust just a yes and no when you lied to Nique. She is really upset and so am I. They didn’t know any of the stuff they know now when Grandma died, but you know better ma. I’m really disappointed because if it was one of us you know it would have been taken care of. Don’t you think you’re worth making yourself a priority any more, Ma? Ever since you and dad split up all you do is work, get your hair done, eat and work some more. You’re worth more than that, Ma. If Harold won’t tell you and Nique won’t, I will. Please call the doctor. We’re worried about you.” 
Jenessa looked down as her son pecked her on the forehead. Her feet refused to move until his door closed.  She was glad he didn’t kiss her cheek. No one liked salt in their kisses.  
***
“Harold will be here to get me in a minute Nique. Can you help me find my pearl earrings?” Jenessa looked under a silk scarf on her vanity then patted the side of her hair. 
“What difference does it make? He’s gonna marry some super young chick and have like eight more kids once you’re gone.” Dominique opened the small drawers on one of five jewelry boxes on her mother’s chest of drawers. 
“I’m trying to relax and prepare for my date. Don’t make me mess up my makeup, little girl.”
“You didn’t listen to Charles Jr. So it’s my turn now. Again. When are you going to make that appointment?” Dominique sighed as she held out an earring to Jenessa. 
Jenessa smiled and accepted the earring from her daughter. She moved to her upright dresser and began looking through the open earring box in the center of it. 
“Mom, this is crazy. You’re putting more effort to finding these earrings than whether or not you have cancer. No one is going to care about this stupid date when we’re singing at your funeral.”
Dominique dropped the other earring in front of Jenessa next to the earring box. 
Jenessa blew out a slow breath and asked God to give her strength. 
“I’m not going to bother you about this again. I know you’re going to go, so please make sure to leave me a letter with instructions on how to get to all of the important paperwork. I hope you’re able to at least hold on until I graduate high school. Then we can stay here and Charles Jr. can complete his last year of high school with his friends instead of having to start all over in another state. You know Jocelyn will finally talk Daddy into moving near her family since you’re gone. That is if Charles Jr. doesn’t end up a victim of the overcrowded understaffed foster care system because he refuses to move with Daddy. Is your will done?”
“You really should use all of that creative energy for something more productive. Don’t let the enemy use that gift to get you in trouble or worry yourself about me. I’m fine.  I would know if there were something wrong, and soon as things slow down at work, I’ll get a new appointment.” Jenessa turned her back to her daughter. “Now zip me up please. Harold will be here any minute.”
“Does he know you’re not taking care of yourself? He wouldn’t care as long as you make him look good at all of his functions. You could have a heart attack and he wouldn’t know what to do. He is such a joke.” Dominique dragged her feet when Jenessa’s footsteps slowed. 
“Watch your mouth Nique. Every time I think about knocking you upside the head I remember how much those braces cost. But don’t tempt me. I have enough saved up to replace everyone of them little lovelies if you keep being disrespectful.”Jenessa slipped into a pair of peek-a-boo toe heels. 
“I think any man with half a brain would want to be with someone who loves him enough to take care of herself. Isn’t that the lame line you told me last year when I told you Deion was pressuring me to have sex?” Dominique shook her head and leaned on the wall in front of her mother. “I guess you are old school, Mom. Do as you say and not as you do right? Have a fun date. My show is coming on.”
“Dominique… you” Jenessa turned when the doorbell rang. “We will finish this when I get home tomorrow. I know your tone and attitude will have improved by then.”
Jenessa patted her hair before walking to the door, counted to three and smiled as she turned the knob. 
“Hey, beautiful, we have reservations. My last appointment ran a little later than planned so we need to go.”Harold held his hand out for her to step down.
“I need to grab my things. Aren’t you going to say hi to the kids?” Jenessa held a hand up, turned around and grabbed her ‘I’m a dainty lady’ date purse and pulled the door together. 
“I’m sure they’re busy and I don’t want to be late so, I’ll speak with them when we come back if they’re still up.” Harold smiled as he guided Jenessa to the passenger side door and opened it for her. 
Jenessa tried to shake the chill that ran down her arm and ignored the dull ache under her arm. It was stress from work. Nothing to worry about.    
***
“I understand you’re upset about them not doing you’re roller derby massacre, but it is a church, Becca. Most respectable Christians are not crashing into each other and calling it fun.”Danielle raised a mirror up and pretended it was a shield. “Don’t shoot me with the evil eye. I’m just telling you the truth.”
“It wasn’t that kind of competition. It was like ice skating on wheels and the teams do dance routines and the best team wins, with all of the proceeds going to the ministry and to breast cancer research. Better than some over done fashion show.” Rebecca held her ear down as Dani approached her with the flat iron she removed from the oven.
“Are you kidding me? Girl, please. Now if you wanna do something fun, them stuffy folks will agree to, you should incorporate an unbeweavable hair show with the fashions and see if you can get one of the big hair or wig companies to donate wigs when you get new cancer survivors.” Dani adjusted her camisole under her smock while the irons heated again. The pain from the bruise subsided but sometimes uncomfortable warmth would spread across the breast she landed on, uncomfortable like fresh lava.
“You are so smart. I knew there was a reason I kept you around. That and to keep my curls tight and my press right. I wouldn’t even know where to start doing something like that though.” Rebecca twirled a loose curl on the side Dani  had not straightened yet. “Sure would be helpful if I could get someone with lotsa good connections in the industry to help me.”
“Don’t even try to play me, Becca. I love me some Jesus, but you know I don’t do church folks. I just don’t have time for all that foolishness.” Dani blew the irons one final time before applying them to a small section of hair above Rebecca’s ear.
“Good book says it’s good to come into the fellowship of the brethren. Sure sounds like church to me.” Rebecca cleared her throat and looked at Dani with fake puppy eyes in the mirror. 
“Why do you think I let all you people into my shop? I fellowship with plenty of missionaries, first ladies, evangelists and a few pastors every month. The pastors I see every week Saturday. Gotta keep the do tight for the collection plate to be full on Sunday, right?” Dani placed the irons back in the oven. 
“You know that is not how all pastor’s are, Dani. Every profession and call has good, bad and other in it. I have run into some straight trifling stylists but I still plop down my debit card on your counter several times a month don’t I? You always say you are done with church, but maybe you just haven’t been to the right one,” Rebecca said. 
“Don’t start up on that again, Becca. We already agreed to disagree. I’m sure there are some perfectly good churches out there and if I join one of them it won’t be perfect any more. My watching church online and donating my tithes to charity is more than sufficient. Hey hasn’t failed me yet. Ouch.” Dani touched her breast without thinking and adjusted her cami. She had to call Dr. Thompson and schedule the treatment consultation and talk to him about the information she’d found online about alternative treatment options. 
“See, God is trying to tell you something. I’m just kidding. I really don’t want to do just another boring old fashion show. Sister Green said she wanted to include the youth and singles ministry. I’ve seen how they dress and some of the designers they’ve used before would make my mother’s wardrobe look risqué. I’ve got to find more relevant designers or it might be a little fashion thrown in the mix of a hair show. Lord help me break this to Vichonda. She has knocked down everything I suggest.” Rebecca pushed out a short breath. “She needs prayer. I still only have three volunteers. Two of them are me and my mother.”
“You are so funny when you shift from begging to guilt. I’m going to help you because I believe in the cause. Don’t think your little puppy eyes and whining had anything to do with it. Please don’t try to proselytize me,” Dani said.
“Girl, I can’t do that. You’re already saved. I won’t have to convince you to join the church. God can do that on his own.” Rebecca sat up to give Dani better access to the back of her neck. 
“I hear you talking. Just make sure you have some of that communion wine on standby when the tacky sistahatahs start popping out of the woodwork and poppin off at the mouth. You better hope I don’t pop one of them in the eye. I’m not too saved to beat a sistah down, you know for Jesus. Laying on hands…” Danielle laughed and darted out of Rebecca’s reach.
“So does that mean you’ll contact some of your big wig friends for me? Oh that would be so tight. I mean, that would be a huge help. Then I can focus on the fashion lines I found that are way more in line with today’s fashions.”Rebecca smiled. 
“Whatever. Just be sure you have that wine close by. You know how I am, Becca. I don’t play stupid or take shorts from anyone…especially phony church folks. Hold your other ear and sit still.” Dani picked the irons off of the stove. 

Chapter Six
“I’m serious Mom. I want to make up for being so hard on you before. I saved up and asked Charles Jr. to chip in so we can go to the spa together. It’s my treat, but you have to let me blindfold you. I want it to be a surprise. When we get to the mall you have to let me lead you into the spa.” Dominique smiled at her mother from the passenger seat.
“Blindfold me in public? That is just silly, Nique. Why can’t I just walk in since I know what the surprise is?” Jenessa backed into a space shaded on part of the backseat and driver seat. 
“Do you always have to be in control and have the last say? Don’t you trust me and if not what does that say about your mothering skills. I haven’t given you any reason not to trust me, Mom.”Dominique crossed her arms. The blindfold lay in her lap.
“Of course I trust you. Don’t take that tone with me, fine. I’ll let you blindfold me. I appreciate your understanding how much stress I’ve been under with work. I hate when we fight, Nique. Especially about things you shouldn’t allow to occupy your mental space. You should be enjoying your last few months of freedom. Cause once you graduate high school, it is a whole new ball game.” Jenessa smiled as she took the keys from the ignition and dropped them into her purse. She turned around towards the driver side window. “Hurry up and do it before my good sense returns.”
Dominique released a squeal and gave her a quick awkward hug from behind. Jenessa felt the soft fabric cover her eyes and her daughter pick up her purse from her lap. The passenger door opened and closed. She heard her door open and felt Dominique take her hand and guide her out of the car.
“I haven’t felt this helpless since your father had to help me get in and out of the car the last month I was pregnant with your brother. This better be a great spa, Dominique. Cause I can walk into Dani’s shop with my eyes closed now I’ve gone so many times since the first time. Sure they were all hair appointments but still. I know they have a great spa.” Jenessa gripped her daughters hand like her life depended on it.
“Trust me, mom, this place is going to change your life.” Dominique squeezed her mother’s hand. “Wait, let me open the door. We are almost there.”
“How is that possible? We haven’t even gone into the mall yet.” Jenessa said.
“They have a separate entrance, for people who don’t wanna go through the mall. Okay, step up. Now just a few more steps and then you can sign in.”Dominique pulled her mother’s hand to indicate when to step up.
“Oh, that makes sense. I love the way it smells in here and the little water brook is very relaxing. I feel better already.” Jenessa laughed. “At this rate you can sign me in too…I wanna enjoy this moment.”
“Okay, mom. Sit down right here and I’ll be right back.” Dominique guided her mother into a seat on a wall. 
Jenessa rested her head back and sighed. It appeared they were getting back on track to their normal relationship. 
“Alright, you’re all signed in. They’ll call your name when it’s time for you to go back. I just have to fill out some forms for you, standard stuff you know. I wasn’t gone too long was I?” Dominique patted Jenessa on the leg.
“I guess not. I may have dosed off. It’s so peaceful in here and with the blindfold you could’ve been gone five seconds or five minutes I don’t know. Can I take the blindfold off now?” Jenessa touched the fabric over her left eye with her left hand. 
“Sure I think they are coming to get you anyway.” Dominique tapped her mother’s shoulder. 
Jenessa turned her body so Dominique could remove the blindfold. When she did she saw beautiful artwork on the wall and elegant flowers on the table next to her. As she turned to thank Dominique, her mouth fell open as she saw a poster. The poster had a woman smiling as she crossed the finish line in what appeared to be a fundraising walk for breast cancer. Jenessa turned abruptly in her seat and looked at her daughter. Her finger flew up and pointed at her eldest child.
“I think the nurse is coming to take you to the back. Here is your purse. I’ll be here when you come out. I apologize for lying Mom, but I had to get you here. I love you too much to lose you to a river in Africa.” Dominique handed her mother her purse. 
“Ms. Armstrong, Dr. Thompson is ready to see you now.”  A young lady in pink bunny scrubs smiled and held a chart in front of Jenessa.
“I am furious with you right now, Dominique. What in the world are you talking about? You know it is way too much going on at work and with you kids right now for me to jet off to Africa. I did not raise you to behave this way. You wait until we leave here.” Jenessa smiled at the young lady waiting to take her to the back office.
“I know you can’t afford another vacation. You already spent enough time in de-nial. Get it ma? Like the Nile in Africa? I know I’m in trouble but I’m just glad you’ll be here to punish me.” Dominique smiled at her mother and wiggled her fingers at her. “See you in a little bit.”
An hour later Jenessa walked out and sat next to Dominique. She had fallen asleep trying to read a magazine. Dominique sat up when Jenessa cleared her throat.
“What did the doctor say?” Dominique said.
“They did some tests here and it looks like they caught it pretty early. Because of our history they were prepared to do a biopsy and I’ll have the official results when everything gets back from the lab, but they do believe I’m in the early stages of breast cancer.” Jenessa tried to choke back the tears but collapsed into herself, crying.
Dominique gathered her mother into her arms and rocked back and forth. “Oh, mom I’m so sorry. It doesn’t matter to me how long I’m on punishment because I lied to you but I had to know. You are the one who said early detection is best. When will you get the results?” 
“It could be as early as next week. Depends on the workload at the lab, I don’t really remember everything he said. I checked out after he said Dr. Justin was smart for referring me. The tumors on the x-ray look to be cancerous.” Jenessa stood up and reached at the air towards Dominique. “I’m glad you have your license cause, you’re driving home.”
Dominique accepted the keys from Jenessa without the usual jolly dance. Jenessa had a feeling that what was usual for their life, had come to an end. 

Chapter Seven
“So I’ve contacted several potential corporate sponsors and I’m waiting on news back from them. In addition to that I’ve received confirmation from several amazing fashion lines that will be providing clothing for the show. I also have Danielle Wardeen who will be coming on board to assist with the show as my right hand. She is the owner of Dani’s Diva Den, and her input will be priceless.” Rebecca placed the papers she held at an angle above the table flat as Vichonda cleared her throat.
“Are you saying I won’t be co- chair for this event? It’s not like you have done this before.” Vichonda rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her. “I know that shop but I don’t remember ever seeing her at church.” 
Sister Greene clasped her hands together in front of her and sighed. 
“Vichonda, I believe you were sharing that you recently took a new position and would not be available to help as you have in the past years. Out of respect for your new responsibilities, I asked Dani to assist us. I didn’t see any information in the paperwork stating that everyone had to be a member. I thought the consensus was that we needed to work more with the marketplace.” Rebecca tilted her head to the side and looked at Sister Greene.  
“You are correct, Rebecca.  We are looking forward to working with Dani. Are there any other updates? I have been asking around for more volunteers. It may just be the season we’re in but all of the people who have been dedicated supporters in the past are saying they’re too busy now.” Sister Greene smiled with a slight shrug of her shoulders. 
“God conquered an entire country with only 300. If it’s only me, Dani, and a few others, He can work through a few, and still deliver a marvelous event. Nothing is impossible, right?” Rebecca chuckled as Jenessa waved at her through the glass in the door. “My best announcement to date is that we have a primary corporate sponsor already signed on.”
Vichonda rolled her eyes again when Sister Greene turned her head towards the door.  Jenessa walked in smiling.
“This is Jenessa Armstrong. She is a member…and a vice president at FA Square. She has offered her time, influence, connections and will act as the liaison for the event.” Rebecca gave Jenessa a quick hug. 
“Thank you for coming tonight and thank you for your company’s support.” Sister Greene walked around the table and hugged Jenessa as well. “God is so good.”
“Yes, he is.” Jenessa returned with a tight smile.  
“Welcome, Ms. Armstrong.” Vichonda gave her a genuine hug. “We’re glad to have you here as part of this event. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you.”
Rebecca’s eyes stretched to the size of saucers for a moment before they retracted to their normal size. Instead of allowing the murderous thoughts to continue occupying her mind, she lifted a quick prayer for compassion, and God’s help with how she saw Vichonda.
“It has been a great pleasure working on our firm’s advertising campaign with Rebecca and Colby. Breast cancer is an important cause to me so I was more than happy to come on board and bring the support of FA Square.” Jenessa smiled. 
“Well, great. Let’s move forward and wrap up this meeting. Dani will be joining us next time.” Rebecca smiled at Jenessa and thanked God for helping her not roll her eyes and stick her tongue out at Vichonda. The event was still several months away and though she had made a brave declaration regarding God’s ability to work with a few, she was still disappointed and concerned about the lack of manpower pushing the event forward. God could do anything. It was her own shortcomings Rebecca worried about. 
***
Dani looked at the pamphlets in her hand from the naturopath she visited. Alkaline living looked like an extreme way of life. The people on the cover, the specialists and everyone in her office, looked so young and healthy. Either they were finding a way to make it work, or they had plastic surgeons on speed dial. How could she totally remove all of the free radicals around her? She never heard of anyone beating her kind of cancer with no intervention from the medical advances made against breast cancer. The breath she didn’t know she’d been holding, she released. It seemed as if ever since her diagnosis, her spirit felt crushed. Several times a day she found herself praying. Almost every time she had to remind herself she was not being punished for not going to church. Plenty of God fearing, Bible toting,  beat the ushers to open the door saints, were diagnosed with cancer. Her diagnosis was a part of her life. It didn’t have to be the end of it. 
The next pamphlet she pulled out was all about some New Age philosophy, supplement and nutrition based path to healing cancer. After the third reference to her past life, karma, a healing path and spiritual detoxification she shook her head and balled that pamphlet up. Not going to church because she couldn’t stand fake people was one thing, but switching teams was another one. She took God’s lead and respected everyone’s right to choose, but was not about to move forward in a way that contradicted the path she knew was hers. Maybe she should go to church for reinforcements. No better time to get in God’s house than when you’re sick or in trouble.
“This seat taken?” a voice said above her head as she dug in her bag for her book. The book was written by a Christian doctor she saw on the international church channel and it was all about curing cancer naturally. 
“Let me move my junk. I apolo...Jenessa?” Dani shook her head and rubbed her eyes.
“Dani?” Jenessa sat down next to her bag. “What are you doing here? Working on the show for Becca?”
“I wish. I am here to see if I’m going to die from cancer or from cancer treatment.” Dani grunted a chuckle.
“Girl, don’t be silly. You know most cancer patients survive now. Soon it may be that all breast cancer diagnoses end in life.” Jenessa smiled.
“I have triple negative inflammatory breast disease so the survival rate is less than fifty percent, Jenessa. I’m just looking at the facts.” Dani wiped a tear from her cheek. 
“Sometimes you have to look past the facts and find the truth, Dani. You can beat this because you have a relationship with a God that has victory in all things.” Jenessa stood up and sat down in the chair next to Dani. “How about if we both like this guy, we do our treatment together. We can pray for each other, buy wigs together and get treated at yours or another spa when we need it. If anyone should be scared, I should, but I refuse to give in. I’m going to fight this to the end and the end I see is for this cancer. Not the end of my life…you with me?”
Dani nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. God answered the prayer she’d been too scared to pray. She didn’t know how she would make it through this cancer alone. 
“Now you wait for me after you meet with the doctor and tell me what you think. If we both are cool with their approach, let’s do this together. My Bible says a three cord rope is not easily broken. You, me, and the Holy Spirit makes three.” Jenessa gave Danielle a one armed hug.
“Okay. I can get with that.” Danielle smiled and for the first time since she was diagnosed she felt her signature nose crinkle and dimple. 
“Danielle Wardeen”.  The voice crackled over the small speaker system.
Dani stood up, gathered her things and looked at Jenessa.
Jenessa gave her a thumb up. 
Dani looked up as she walked through the doors.
God, I don’t know how this is all going to play out. All I know is I trust you. Help me trust you more in this. In Jesus name, amen. 
As the door leading into the waiting room closed behind her, Dani felt like a ton of bricks fell off her shoulders. 
***
Jenessa wondered where the courage and faith she’d displayed before Dani escaped to as she waited to discuss the lab results with the doctor. Her breasts were usually the last thing on her mind, except to wonder if she should have them done. It seemed like a vain thought at the time, the irony of needing reconstructive surgery after all of the treatments and implants she would receive ,was not lost on her. She prayed her prognosis was not the same as Dani’s. Since they didn’t have any details at the other office,  here she sat in the best breast cancer treatment center in Houston. She hoped this would be over soon.
The doctor walked in and sat down in the chair adjacent to her. The smile that should have reassured her only made her squirm. Something in her spirit told her to brace herself. 
Peace Lord, give me peace.
“Ms. Armstrong, we have your tests results. The good news is that we did catch the cancer in the earliest stages and should be able to get you started with treatment soon. The bad news is that we don’t have much time because you do have triple negative breast cancer which is a more resistant and aggressive form of breast cancer. ..”
Jenessa saw his lips moving but the words sounded like cotton in her ears. Did my mother and aunt have triple negative breast cancer? It couldn’t have been. They probably didn’t even know the difference back then. What would she tell Dominique and Charles? 
Oh God, what am I going to do? 
“Do you have any questions?” 
“Huh…oh no. I apologize I missed a lot of that could you repeat that? Never mind. When can I start treatment and get this over with?”
“See the treatment coordinator in the lobby. Don’t worry, Ms. Armstrong. You’re in good hands. We are recognized as the best cancer treatment in the area. We have the lowest mortality rate for this part of the country.”
Jenessa’s shoulders sagged under the weight of his statement. Early detection or not…there was a chance she could die. Her eyes filled with tears as the heaviness of the diagnosis hit her. 
God, help me!

Chapter Eight
Colby blew out the candles on the dressers, wall ornament, sink and around the tub.  He trashed the roses in the kitchen. He threw the candy into his briefcase and decided to give it to the administrative team as a thank you for working so hard on the FA Square account. When the rose petals were all cleaned up and everything in their room looked normal, he snatched his bathrobe from the hook on the door. The cold water in the shower did nothing to cool his temper. He needed guidance because the honeymoon phase for his marriage seemed to end before it really began. He didn’t know what to do about it. His wife felt like she was just within reach but miles away at the same time. The advice she received from her mother to stop neglecting him surprised him. 
Colby knew Rebecca was feeling alone and vulnerable with her mother gone to be with her aunt in the Dominican Republic. How could he comfort her if she refused to let him get close enough to touch her where it mattered? He was tired of being distracted from their problems with sex. What could he do to convince Rebecca to let him make love to her heart? His thoughts were interrupted as their bedroom door opened. He watched from the side of the tub as Rebecca tiptoed into their dark room.  He placed the lotion back under the sink and snatched the French doors connecting the bedroom to the master bathroom open. 
“Where have you been?” Colby crossed his arms and blocked the doorway.
“At church. I told you we had a meeting tonight. Vichonda called an emergency meeting for nothing and then she didn’t even show up. I could kill her.” Rebecca placed her hand on his shoulder and reached down to remove her shoe. 
Colby shrugged her hand off of his shoulder. He flicked the light switch on and walked over to the dresser pulling out some shorts and a tank top to sleep in.
“Why are you putting those on? We haven’t been together since my mother left.” Rebecca walked up to Colby and placed her hand inside his robe and tickled his shoulder blade.
“Not tonight, Rebecca. We need to talk.” Colby sat down.
“Are you cheating on me or something? Who refuses sex?” Rebecca said. She placed her hands on her hips.
“I could say the same thing. You’re never home. You won’t talk to me and every time things get too serious, you wanna have sex.” Colby laughed. “If you just wanted someone to sleep with, you shouldn’t have married me.”
“You’re being ridiculous. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. Man up. I don’t need a therapist. I need a husband. I’ve had a rough week. Is it wrong to want to seek comfort from you? What is the problem? Most men would kill for a wife that doesn’t nag them and is always ready. You’re the problem. Not me, Mr. Thorn.” Rebecca rolled her eyes. She stormed over to the dresser and pulled out an oversized shirt.
“Sex doesn’t solve problems, Becca, and it is not enough to keep a relationship strong. We used to pray together, go to church and talk to each other. You almost ran my best friend off and now that she is gone you’re acting like the only time I’m worth attention is when we’re in bed. I’m not that kind of man. I thought that is why you married me!” Colby stood up and paced the foot of the bed. 
“So, you’re going to call Toney and tell her what a horrible wife I am now that she has moved to Atlanta and moved on with her life. In case you hadn’t noticed she is about to marry someone else. You had your chance and missed it, buddy. Deal with it.” Rebecca laughed maniacally. “Too bad you didn’t tell me you were still feeling her before we got married could’ve saved us both a lot of time and me some serious heartache. “
“You know I don’t want that girl. I just miss having a best friend since the one I’m living with has decided to quit without notice. I don’t want Toney you nut! I am in love with and want to spend time with you. You’re just too blind to see it.”Colby shook his head and ran his hand over his face.
“You know what? You’re right. I’m nuts and you’re nuts if you think I’m gonna stand here another minute and continue this discussion. I’m going to sleep in the guest bedroom. Let me know when you’re ready to discuss your problems like an adult.” Rebecca slipped into her house shoes and stormed out of the room.
“Yeah, I’m the immature one. God, you better get your girl. She is trippin.” Colby turned the lights off and plopped onto the bed. He laid back and folded his arms under his head then stared at the ceiling. How was he supposed to fall asleep now?
***
Rebecca sighed as she packed the small suitcase full of her toiletries. The note she’d written lay on top of Colby’s pillow like a rose. She knew he would find nothing beautiful or lovely about the contents. Her leaving had nothing to do with wanting a divorce. She loved Colby. It had everything to do with her needing him to respect her and her never allowing another man to manipulate, control or hurt her again. 
Her heart beat a mile a minute as she rolled the luggage from their bedroom to the garage. 
Those who I have brought together let no man separate.
Rebecca knew that voice. She longed most days to hear God’s voice. The sweet peaceful reassuring whisper of the Holy Spirit brought life and love after her first marriage, and joy in her storms. As tears streamed down her face and shame masked by indignation settled on her shoulders for the first time in a long time she ignored its warning. Technically they weren’t separated, she just needed a break. Colby would understand that, and if he didn’t…well he just had to. 
I have not given you a spirit of fear. Use your power, love and mind. 
All the months she prayed and now God wanted to show up and be chatty. She asked God to forgive her for having disrespectful thoughts about Him. How could she open herself up to the possibility Colby would never hurt her the way Antony did? Answers to her prayers about Colby, his temper and her safety flooded Rebecca’s mind. Mental snapshots of written prayers in journals, enough to publish three books flashed in her mind.  God was reassuring her that Colby and Antony were not the same, but Rebecca refused to see or accept it. 
It was a month to month lease. She just needed a month to sort herself out. The gravity of losing her mother and aunt to the Dominican Republic, difficulty in recruiting volunteers for the fundraising event and pressures from work were all proving to be a bit much for her. Top it all off with the demands of her handsome, yet persistent new husband and Rebecca justified the need to move out for a few weeks to herself. Hadn’t her mother always told her to have a plan B? Rebecca closed the trunk on the luggage she’d piled in. Of course she did. 
***
Colby pulled up into the garage and sighed when he noticed Rebecca’s car was not there, again. He shook off the annoying feeling in the pit of his stomach. His plan to come home and have a peaceful, but serious discussion with her would have to wait until she came home. He wanted to talk to her about talking to someone at the church. Maybe it was for the best. After all, his idea of peaceful the last few days, had included more yelling and screaming than he knew he was capable of doing. The fear followed by anger that flashed in Rebecca’s eyes during their last discussion reminded him he needed to tread lightly. He loved his wife and didn’t want to cause her any reason to believe he was anything like her ex. He would never hit a woman. 
Colby gathered his belongings and exited the car. Entering the kitchen he entered the code for the alarm and placed his briefcase on the counter. He hadn’t expected the house to feel so empty. Something wasn’t right and he couldn’t ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach anymore. He looked in the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of juice before going into his office. 
The first thing he noticed was how clean Rebecca’s desk was compared to his. Her ability to work in such an uncluttered environment was one of the things Colby liked about her. She made it a point not to touch anything on his desk because, while it looked a mess, everything on his jumbled workstation had significance in how it was placed as well. Colby released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. They worked so well together. He didn’t understand how the peace and unity they started with had begun to unravel so quickly. He opened the bottle of juice and took a sip. 
His cell phone beeped and he checked the message. Why were they calling him after hours? This was not a good time.  When Rebecca left after lunch and didn’t return, he knew she was still upset. Maybe she needed to take some me time at Dani’s Den and would be home to smooth things out soon. Nodding and finishing the drink, he walked back into the kitchen and placed it in the recycling bin. The game he wanted to watch didn’t start for a few more hours and he needed to release the pressure and stress he’d been carrying all day.  A quick run to the gym would do the trick. 
Opening the garage and checking his backseat he saw the bag and smiled. No need to run upstairs and change, he kept a fresh set of clothes in the bag. Colby closed the door. He wrote a quick note on the fridge’s dry erase board, telling Rebecca where he would be. Then he set the alarm and closed the door. An hour or two on the weights and some heavy cardio would do his heart a world of good. 
***
Colby smiled as he climbed up the stairs carrying his gym bag. Although his legs burned from his power session at the gym, he enjoyed talking to the trainer who also taught fitness classes at their church. The conversation distracted him from the issues he knew he needed to address when Rebecca finally made it in tonight. His head was clear and his heart conditioned for the task at hand. He emptied the contents of the gym bag into the hamper and paused when he saw the letter on his pillow. He recognized the envelope from the set of stationary that one of her friends gave them for a wedding gift. Although curiosity gnawed away at Colby to open the letter, the funk from his workout and the fear of what was inside overpowered him. So he opted to place his sweaty clothes in the hamper and shower first. 
Colby finished in the bathroom in less than ten minutes. Wrapped in his towel he strolled out, sat down on the clean bed and picked up the note. The contents of it weighed heavy on his mind the entire time he’d showered.  A glance at the clock on the dresser told him it was almost time for the game to start, and he hoped Rebecca would be home soon. The workout, prayer and shower had cleared his head and he wanted to apologize and reassure her he was not going to hurt or hit her, but that he just missed spending time with his wife. 
Lord help me love this woman, the way you intend. 
Finally, he began to read.
My Dearest Colby,
I don’t want a divorce but I do need some time to myself. I’ve rented an apartment in the high rise across from the office. Please don’t be upset or afraid. I’m just concerned about your anger issues and my safety. Not physically but emotionally and my independence. You don’t seem to understand what losing my aunt and mother mean to me. I don’t know how to explain it. Please pray for me I’m so confused right now. I love you
Tu esposa,
Becca
PS I’ll call you this evening when I get settled. I have a little running around to do for the event. I’m not giving up on us. I just need a little time for me.  
Colby felt like someone had kicked him in the groin. He couldn’t understand how his wife could move out and then say she loved him. All those months of premarital counseling, books and couples they talked to in preparation for this and now she was talking about praying for her. She was definitely crazy. Despite the pain and the hole he felt was growing in his chest, he was still crazy about her. He let his head drop into his hands. Tears threatened to fall so he sat back up before he dropped to the floor onto his knees. 
Don’t look at the circumstances son; focus on the covenant you made with me. 
Colby absorbed the words he heard in his heart and tried to release the anger and disappointment trying to settle in his soul. He would focus on God tonight, but first thing tomorrow morning he was going to talk to Dani. If he couldn’t get through to his wife, maybe she could. 

Chapter Nine
Dani tapped her foot and frowned. This was the second time in the last few months that one of her stylists’ clients had been left sitting for more than an hour because the woman was late. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes as the stylist walked in, Dani paused as the woman sat down in her chair. Dani  nodded her head in the direction of the employee lounge over the woman’s wet hair.
“Good morning, Dani. I apologize I had car trouble and it took longer than I thought for someone to come and fix it.” Trice smiled and glared at her customer in Dani’s seat.
“We’ll talk about it later. Meanwhile go help out with shampoos. There are three customers waiting to be seated for station eight.” Danielle patted the woman’s hair. 
“I can finish Vonnie up. Fah real. Just give me a second to put my things down.” Trice let her arm fall to her side.
“No thanks. Just help Shay out in the back. We’ll talk in detail later.” Dani felt her face turning red and felt her pulse accelerate. She hated firing people but it was clear Trice was going to have to go. 
“Fine, whatever, Dani.” Trice dropped her stuff in the empty seat at her station and walked to the shampoo area in the back. 
Colby walked in the door.  Danielle smiled and waved him over. 
“Hey, Colby, wassup?” Danielle sprayed finishing spray on the woman’s hair.
“I need you to talk to Rebecca, Danielle.” Colby said. “She moved out last night and I don’t know what’s going on in her head.”
Dani almost dropped the gum she was chewing into the woman’s hair. She shook her head from side to side.  “Stop playing.”
“I wish I were. Her mother and aunt left last week, sooner than she expected, and since then she has been acting like it is her single mission in life to end breast cancer with this one event. Her work is even suffering at the firm.” Colby jingled his keys in his pocket.
“Don’t worry, Colby. I know this looks crazy, but Becca loves you. She is a little out of control with the event but it’s coming from a good place in her heart. I’ll call her later and see where her head is at and tell her to get her butt back home with you.”
“I appreciate it. How is the event going?” Colby said.
“Not so good. The people I’ve brought in are the only ones cooperating and volunteering. Jenessa has some people interested too. It’s weird cause from what I hear this is one of the biggest things they do at the church but almost no one is offering to help. Foolishness, if you ask me. Hasn’t Becca talked to you about it?”Dani shook her head and frowned.
Colby flopped down into the empty station next to Danielle. “No, I’ve been too busy trying to tell her to quit tripping or give it up to sit at home with me, to even ask how it was going. No wonder she is so upset. Do you know why no one has pitched in yet?” 
“That’s y’all church. You know I’m just visiting and hanging out cause I’m chipping in. It does seem like something weird is going on though, especially with the chick she has to work with. Seems like she can’t stand Becca, never agrees with her or backs her up. Hot mess if you ask me. One of the reasons I prefer small churches if I have to go at all.  Mega ministries have too much drama.” Dani pointed Vonnie toward the front desk to pay and sat down.
“I’m glad you have her back, and don’t be like that. All churches have issues.” Colby stood up. “Thanks Danielle. I’ll see her at the office but I try not to bring up personal stuff during the work day.”
“I hear you boss man. I gotta blow dry my client waiting at the shampoo bowl. Don’t worry Becca will be home in a minute. This is more about her than you. Do what she says you do best. Pray.” Dani smiled as she waved goodbye.
“You let me know if your girl doesn’t go home. Shoot, fine as that brotha is, if she don’t want him. I do.” The client licked her lips and smiled as Dani turned her around and shook her head. She would have to talk to Rebecca soon, Houston was too small and women were too trifling for her to be moved out for long. 

Chapter Ten
Becca bit back tears as she stared down at the signup sheet for artists, models, and vendors. Not one name listed. Each person she attempted to approach politely, sometimes not, declined to speak with her regarding the show. Was it because she was married to Colby?  It was true he had been an eligible bachelor at the church for years, and many of the women may have been upset because she was not African American but, this was ridiculous. Were they boycotting one of the churches largest events because of prejudice? No that was too much. There had to be another reason. 
Ms. Green walked into the room and sat down in the chair next to Becca. “I’m a bit concerned with the lack of participation, Becca? Would you like to step down as chair and let Vichonda take over?”
“I don’t know what is wrong, Sister Green. I have lots of support from everyone I contact outside of the church. With a little more time I believe we can get the rest of the congregation on board. It’s possible the economy has people a bit concerned about offering more than they can afford to take on.” Rebecca tapped her pen she on the paper. 
“That is true. I’ll talk to Vichonda and the elders about reducing the cost for vendors and getting an announcement placed on the list for Sunday. You’re doing a fabulous job with everything else I’m not sure why people aren’t responding.” Sister Green stood up. “I’m sure it will all work out.”
Rebecca sighed and looked at the ceiling. The tears she held in began free falling down her cheeks and her shoulders began to shake. A reason for the opposition she was experiencing escaped her.  This was not the abundant life her Bible promised. At no point in her studies had she ran across the lines about problems being married to a great guy, sabotage and opposition when helping others, unexplained attitudes from fellow believers.  No, this was not acceptable. Her phone rang. Without looking at the caller ID she pressed talk.
“Good evening, Mrs. Thorn. How are you?” Colby said.
His voice sounded so …tired, guilt rested on her shoulders. 
“Rebecca Thorn. I know you’re there, I can hear you breathing. Talk to me.”
“Not a good time, Mr. Thorn. Let’s talk at work tomorrow. Lunch.” Rebecca wiped the tears from her eyes and the dried tracks from her face.
“Too many meetings, still working out the details of the FA Square account.” Colby sighed. “Dinner, early dinner.”
“I have a meeting with Jenessa and Dani about the event. I’ll come after that. Let’s say 8pm at CommuniTea Spirit.” Rebecca smiled as she remembered their first time at their favorite hangout. 
“Okay, tomorrow. 8PM CommuniTea Spirit.” Colby said. “I love you, Mrs. Thorn.”
“I love you too.” Becca pressed the end icon on her smartphone. 
***
Colby stared down at his wrist. He played with the social networking app on his smartphone and pulled up the messaging app icon. No messages or missed calls. He lowered his head into his hands.
Lord, please let her be okay. I know you brought us together, show me how to be the husband you desire me to be for her. In Jesus name, amen.
He looked at his wrist again. Colby placed a five dollar bill on the table and rose from his seat. No one could have told him his wife would be so thoughtless or distracted that he would be stood up. In the best case scenario, she forgot or something came up. In the worst case scenario, she was hurt. Either way he didn’t know. His stomach formed a pretzel as he walked to the car. He touched the phone carrier every few moments to make sure it was still there. The beeping from an unread email message let him know it was still on. Rebecca wouldn’t send him an email if she were late. The prayers he lifted to heaven on the way home from the teahouse kept anger and mistrust from attaching to him. 
***
Jenessa held her side as she laughed. Dani and Becca collided into each other as their shoulders shook with giggles. The online video stopped but they were unable to stop chuckling as they righted themselves in their seats. Dani was first to catch her breath fully. She laid her head back on the wall.
“You know y’all wrong for that. This is why people should not have cell phones with cameras.” Jenessa shook her head and smiled. “Oh my, look at the time.  I have to get home before I forget what my children look like. Between preparing for the coming tax hiring season and the fundraiser, I feel like I’m never home.” 
Rebecca looked at the clock and shot up off the futon like a rocket. “Oh no! I was supposed to meet Colby at CommuniTea Spirit. He is going to kill me.”
“No he won’t. You know he came in here looking for you. What is the deal, chic?” Dani sat up and crossed her arms. 
“He is trying to control me and I’m not having it. I am a grown woman I don’t need some man trying to control my going and coming.”Becca said. 
“You know Colby isn’t even like that. Tell us what is really going on Becca?” Dani pulled her friend back onto the seat.
“I really don’t know how to explain it. Things were great until my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then he freaked out about me going to see her in New York because I passed out. I went to the doctor and they said I was pushing myself too much so he went all Neanderthal on me about leaving. Then when I invited my mom and aunt to come here, he freaked out again. You should have seen how happy he was when they decided to leave early.”
“You haven’t even been married a year. Becca has it ever occurred to you that maybe he wanted to be alone with his wife? You all aren’t getting any younger. Once you start having babies you’ll be wishing you were married and alone together again.” Jenessa nodded and tilted her head to the side briefly for emphasis.
“Well, I don’t know about all of that but I do know that I let Antony have too much say about what I did and didn’t do.  Before I knew it he was doing more than talking when things didn’t go his way. Whether I had anything to do with it or not.” Rebecca shook her head. “I’m not letting any man have that kind of control over me ever again.”
“You know Colby wouldn’t do that to you.” Dani scooted closer to her friend. “I think you need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. All of the changes in your life and this stress is taking a toll on you. You’re playing right into the enemy’s plan by letting him tear apart your marriage.” 
“Listen to Minister D over here. Help out one church event and she preaching to the choir.” Becca cackled.
“Don’t trip. I don’t do phony religious rituals but me and Jesus always been tight. The only reason I’m at your church now is because you asked me to be. I was fine with my Bible and my worship CDs.” Dani rolled her eyes and left her seat. 
“I’m sorry, Dani. I know you love the Lord. That is one of the main reasons you’re my stylist. I’ll think about what you said. I know you’re right. I’ve just gotta get my heart to accept it.” Becca’s shoulders dropped.
“It’s all good. I knew you were crazy when Toney brought you here. Now you better call that man. The sharks were circling him when he came here asking me to talk to you. You know GFM’s are hard to come by.” Dani stood up and stretched.
Jenessa looked at Rebecca with one eyebrow arched as she stood. “Do I want to know what a GFM is?”
“God Fearing Man” Dani and Becca said in unison.
“You mean a GFBM, God fearing black man.” Jenessa chuckled.
“Honey please. I can look over cultural and racial differences but the way the world is today only an interceding, Bible reading, praying God fearing man will do.” Dani nodded and picked up her purse. “Which is what Becca has and needs to keep.”
“Amen to that.” Jenessa nodded. 
Becca imitated their stern looks and nodded as well. She hoped she could look over the racial and cultural differences too.

Chapter Eleven
“So it is definitely triple negative. The second opinion confirmed as well. Yes, I’m glad we caught it early too. No, that won’t be necessary. Okay. Thank you again. Have a good day.” Jenessa gently tapped the phone on her head then placed it back in its holster on her hip. 
“So when were you gonna tell us, Mama?” Charles Jr. walked into the kitchen. 
Jenessa almost jumped out of her skin and then turned around so fast she felt like her head was about to spin. 
“Have you been lying to us all our lives or just now?” Charles Jr. stared into her eyes without blinking.
“That is an absurd question, Charles Jr. You know I tell you children everything.” Jenessa turned and walked to the cabinet. 
“No, you don’t. How can you expect us to talk to you when you don’t talk to us? Such a hypocrite.” Charles Jr. turned around and left the room as abruptly as he entered it. 
Jenessa walked to the door frame and opened her mouth to yell but nothing came out. Accusations and ugly words from her ex- husband about being a liar and a fraud swirled around in her head. Nasty names stuffed her ears and shame settled in between her shoulders. She was a bigger hypocrite than Charles Jr. or Dominique could ever know. 
***
As Becca walked towards her, Vichonda let the smile she flashed at a fellow church member fade. In its place a faint scowl settled on her lips. Crow’s feet were in the girl’s future if she didn’t watch it.
“How nice of you to join us today, Sister Thorn.” Vichonda said with acid dripping from every word. 
“Let’s cut the falsities today, Vichonda. Would you like to tell me why no one is willing to work on the fashion show this year. I’ve had more than one person allude to your saying something that convinced them it would not be in their best interest to participate.” Becca crossed her arms and tapped her foot. 
Vichonda looked down at her foot and stepped in closer to Rebecca. “Is popping that little pump up and down supposed to mean anything to me? You may have everyone else up in this church thinking you’re the best thing since rice and beans, but make no mistake, chica, I will not let you keep taking things that are rightfully mine and get away with it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you can best believe that Sister Greene is going to hear about this. Your delusions are costing us precious time and resources in getting the fashion show up and running.” Becca inched forward, invading Vichonda’s space. 
Vichonda took a step back and smiled. “Oh you don’t scare easy I see. That’s good. I wanna see how tacky you really are when the fashion show doesn’t happen.  Cause it won’t if I have anything to do with it.” 
“Ay dios mio, Lord help me.” Becca closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her forehead. “Many are the plans of a man’s heart but the will of the Lord will prevail. You evil little—.” 
Vichonda balled her fist and stepped back into Rebecca’s space. 
“Don’t even think about it, I’d wring your neck like a chicken.” Becca turned around and stomped off upset that she’d lost her cool. 
***
Colby stared at the words on the screen. He read them to himself again. This would probably not end well for anyone involved but the truth would come out. He didn’t want to go behind her back or over her head, but God made it clear to Him he should do it. When he saw her about to go for twelve rounds with Vichonda Trude, he knew something was up. Separated or not she was his wife and he could not continue to allow ministry events and foolishness to keep them apart. If she was going to be working with Sister Greene, then Sister Greene needed to be aware of everything going on. After he pressed send, Colby released the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

Chapter Twelve
Becca stopped inside of the foyer to Dani’s Diva Den and paused when she reached for her phone. She placed her purse on the table next to the wall and stopped when she heard voices in the other room.
“So are we going to do this or what? You know how aggressive triple negative breast cancer is and you have inflammatory breast disease. The longer you wait the worst things will be, Dani. We need to start treatment right away.” Jenessa said.
“I’m not sure this is what I want to do. You’ve had your children. You don’t need your breast anymore. I haven’t even found a husband yet. What man wants to marry a chic with a flat chest and flat butt? I know I change my hair every week but, it’s mine to change. I don’t want to go bald and lose my breast. Who is going to run my shop? I can’t afford to go through chemo right now, Jenessa. You have a fancy corporate job with FMLA, short term disability, long term disability and every other ability known to man.” Dani’s voice escalated with each question.
“If you’re dead you won’t have any of that to worry about. You have insurance and you’ve been good with your money. I looked over your accounts remember. You can’t afford not to do this, Dani. There are men who don’t care about your hair, butt or breasts. But I don’t know any who’ll marry or have children with a dead woman. Dead, you hear me? That is how you will end up if you think this will just go away.” Jenessa said.
Becca had to strain to hear the last part. She felt the metal cutting her hands from how tightly she gripped her keys.  Tears and anger welled up inside of her. 
“You can tell my head all the facts you want, but you need to pray if you’re going to make any leeway in erasing this fear and convincing my heart… you” Dani looked at Jenessa.
Jenessa’s head dropped between her shoulders.
“How could you two keep this from me?” Becca ran up to them and dropped her purse on the ground. “Dani, I thought you were my best friend? You know how hard it is for me to open up to people.”
“Becca calm down. You had enough going on in your life. I know I’m not going to die.” Dani shot a look at Jenessa. “I knew this could wait. I asked Jenessa to meet me here before your appointment to talk to you about everything that is going on. We’re concerned about you.”
“So concerned you didn’t think you should be honest with me about having cancer? That is very considerate of both of you. Jenessa we just met, but I mean I thought we were better than that.” Becca plopped down in a seat and held her head up with her hands. 
“You seemed to be under a lot of stress. It was my idea not to tell you. When I saw Dani in Dr. Thompson’s office and she mentioned it, I remembered how you fainted in my office and thought it might be a bit too much stress for you.” Jenessa sighed as she eased into the chair next to Becca. “Don’t be angry with Dani we were just looking out for you.”
“Why does everyone feel like it’s their place to do that for me? I’m a grown woman. I survived getting beat on for years by a grown man. God helped me live through that so clearly this I can handle. And if I can’t that is not your problem, it’s on me.” Becca picked up her purse and put it on her shoulder.
“That is not true Rebecca, I didn’t want to add any more drama to what is going on with you. You’re aunt is dying. Your mother moved back to the Dominican Republic and you’re separated from your husband. This can wait. I’m not going anywhere.” Dani took Becca by the hand, led her to her station, and guided her into the empty seat. 
“Just because I’m sitting down and letting you do my hair does not mean you’re off the hook, Danielle Wardeen. It’s hard finding someone who knows how to do my hair the way I like.” Becca let Jenessa slide her purse off her shoulder. 
“Fair enough, since you’re already mad at us. I guess we can go ahead and tell you how stupid you are being by leaving your husband for some space and time to think.” Dani straightened Becca’s head as she tried to turn around in her seat. “Be still girl, if I was pressing your hair you would have scorched your forehead off.” 

Chapter Thirteen
Jenessa smiled and shook her head as she rounded the corner to her street. All muscles around her mouth reversed as she recognized her ex husband’s car sitting in front of the walkway to her front door. Since his weekend with the kids was over, why was he still at her house? She pressed the garage door opener and whipped into her parking spot.  Her hands moved so fast she placed the car in park, opened the door and jumped out of the car before the engine seemed to stop. 
Charles Jr. appeared with his duffle bag over his shoulder and his large luggage bag in his left hand. His father stepped out behind him with a bag in each of his hands.
“Someone needs to tell me what is going on here.” Jenessa blocked them from exiting the hallway. 
“Good evening, Jenessa. How are you feeling?” Charles Sr. rested the luggage he was carrying on the floor next to his feet. 
“You must be crazy. Skip the pleasantries and tell me why you look like your moving my child out without my permission.” Jenessa crossed her arms.
“Don’t make a scene, Nessa, goodness. Dominique and CJ want to come live with me. I’ll let you discuss this with them. Excuse me.” Her ex-husband took the bags her son held and paused in front of her.
Jenessa let her arms down and turned to let him squeeze by. 
“Where is your sister?” Jenessa sized her son up and squashed the desire to strangle him. 
“I’m right here, Momma. Please calm down because stress releases free radicals in your body and that’s not good for your condition.” Dominique placed her multicolored duffel bag outside of her room.
“You weren’t too concerned about that when you decided to move out now were you?” Jenessa looked at the ceiling and huffed. 
Dominique stared at her.
“I don’t even have words to articulate what I’m feeling right now.” Jenessa turned around and walked into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator. Dominique and Charles appeared above the open door. 
“This is exactly why we’re leaving. You don’t say anything to us. That may have worked when we were little but I’m practically an adult and Charles Jr. is right behind me. What is the point of being here if you aren’t? All you do is work and church, or go out with your boyfriend. We can take a hint, Momma. You want to live your life. Well we want a parent. I talk to Dad every day, but I can go two or three days without seeing you and we live in the same house.” Dominique rolled her eyes.
“You don’t have to exaggerate Dominique. I work hard to take care of you. It’s not cheap living in this house, feeding, clothing and supporting all of your interests. Your father helps but he has a family of his own that requires his attention and time.” Jenessa closed the refrigerator door. She pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. 
“We are his family. He makes time for us and is honest about what is going on with him. Who has to trick their mother into getting a follow up doctor appointment? Your boyfriend doesn’t like us and we don’t like him so we figure it’ll be better for everyone if we move in with Dad. We’ll just come home on our weekends with you.” Dominique sighed and sat down across from her mother. 
“You could just stay home and stop all of this foolishness.” Jenessa pressed her hand to her forehead. “I need a pain pill.”
Dominique stood up and walked over to the cabinet. She retrieved a glass and two pain killers from their cabinets. She bent down and kissed Jenessa on the forehead.  “Here, Momma, I have to finish packing.”
***
Dani laughed and typed the reply message to her sister. Her decision about treatment weighed on her mind but she was determined not to worry. Meeting with Jenessa to work on the fashion show and trying to wiggle her way back into Becca’s good graces were welcome distractions from the choices she had to make. It seemed like all of the information she read contradicted itself. She said a quick prayer for guidance concerning her treatment and her helping with the event. 
The LED indicator on her phone stopped blinking and she looked up. Her eyes bulged as her jaw went slack. Vichonda and Colby sat across from each other. Dani walked up to the counter. They went to the same church so there was no reason for her to freak out. It could be ministry related. No need to jump to crazy conclusions. Colby loved Becca and would never do anything to hurt her. She fought the desire to turn around and look at them again. 
“Are you ready to order ma’am?” a young woman with tiny, curly locks tilted her head to the left and waited. 
“Yes, peach and white strawberry personal pot of tea with a pink lemonade and a blue velvet cupcake from Craving Confections Cupcakery.” Dani pulled her bank card out of her wallet. 
“I love her stuff. My favorite is the carrot. Eight twenty five.” The cashier took the card. The machine made a whirring sound and a receipt slid out of an opening in the top, she handed both to Dani. 
“Thank you.” Dani stepped to the side. She positioned herself so she could see Colby and Vichonda from the corner of her eye. What was she going to tell Rebecca? Should she even bother? They already had enough problems and this could be nothing.
“Here ya go.” The young lady smiled. “Enjoy.”
“Huh, oh. Thanks.” Danielle sat down in a table across from the register but closer to Colby’s table. Still too far to eavesdrop on the conversation, Dani almost choked when Vichonda placed her hand on top of Colby’s. She smiled when she saw him pull his hand back. 
“Good for you, Colby,” Dani whispered.
Colby stood up and Dani panicked a bit. For some reason she didn’t want him to see her. 
“What is he doing here with her?” Jenessa crouched down next to Dani.
“Stay right there. I don’t want him to know it’s us.” Dani shifted in her seat and reached in her purse like she was looking for something. 
Colby and Vichonda walked by with Vichonda closest to Jenessa and Dani. 
Jenessa sat down and sighed as Colby and Vichonda walked out of the door. 
“What do you think that was about? Why didn’t we speak? That was silly.” Jenessa put her purse on the table next to the wall.
“I don’t know. Just a feeling in my gut, more about Vichonda then Colby. There is something about her I don’t like.” Dani bit into her blue velvet cupcake.
“You just can’t put your finger on it?” Jenessa eyed Dani’s cupcake.
“Girl, whatever it is I sense about her, I wouldn’t put a double gloved bleachy finger on.” Dani said with her hand covering her mouth. “These are so good. Go get something so we can get to work. Becca needs all the help we can give.”
“From the looks of things she needs our help and then some.” Jenessa stood up and walked to the counter. 
***
Becca smiled as she walked to the door. In the short time she’d moved out one thing was sure, she missed her husband. Her phone rang as she reached the door. She looked through the peephole and opened it. 
“You look great, baby.” Colby said.
“Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself,” Becca said. “Want something to drink?”
“Sure.” Colby smiled. 
“I apologize about the other night. Dani and Jenessa dropped a bomb on me and I lost track of time.” Becca walked into the kitchen.
“We’re newlyweds, Becca. We should be losing track of time in each other.” Colby said.
“Look, I’m trying Colby. I don’t want a divorce and I apologize for everything, but I know God wanted me to do this event. This problem is serious and more prevalent than ever so we need to do something about it. Jenessa and Dani are about to enter treatment.” Becca handed her husband a bottle of cranapple juice. 
“Treatment?” 
“They both have breast cancer, triple negative to be specific. Dani’s is some weird type I didn’t even know existed. Please bear with me. I won’t do anything else for six months after this project is over. And I’m going to talk to a counselor about my trust issues. Just be patient with me, baby. I love you…and-” 
The phone gave three short rings.
“That’s my mother. They admitted my aunt to the hospital last week so I need to get that.” Becca stared at Colby.
“I don’t have anywhere else to be.” Colby walked into the living room and sat down on the loveseat.
“Hello,” Becca said. “What? When? Why didn’t you call me? Please don’t cry. Okay…he is here right now. I’m not but I’ll call you later. Love you, mami.” 
“Everything ok?” Colby placed the empty bottle on the counter.
Becca looked at him and wondered how he reached her so quickly.
“Talk to me Becca.” Colby handed her a napkin from the holder on the counter.
“My aunt passed away. They had her service today.”
“What?” Colby sat down at the table and pulled her into his lap. “I’m so sorry, baby. I know how much she meant to you. Let’s dedicate the fashion show to your aunt. You know she would love that.”
“She told my mother not to call me because she was scared it would break up our marriage.” Becca looked into Colby’s eyes.
“Huh?” Colby rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.
“If I went there while I was upset with you she thinks I would have never come home. She knew she was dying the whole time. This is her third not second bout with cancer, and it wasn’t just in her breast. It spread everywhere. She just didn’t tell us about the other two times.” Becca laid her head on his shoulder.
“Your aunt loved you very much Becca. You said she was pivotal in praying for you and covering you while you were with Antony. Didn’t she recommend the lawyer who led you to Christ?”Colby rested his hand on her hip.
“I don’t know what would make her think I wouldn’t come back here. I love my life here.” Becca let the tears fall onto her husband’s shoulder.
“If she passed last week, then that would have been when you moved out. Maybe she was concerned you would do something hasty when the anger and grief mixed. Those are powerful emotions, Becca.” Colby kissed her forehead.
“I guess.” Rebecca kissed Colby on the neck and ear. “Funny, I was thinking about how much I missed you before you came.”
“I miss you too.” Colby moaned as Rebecca applied pressure to a sensitive area between his neck and shoulder. “Becca…”
Rebecca sat up and moved the leg next to Colby’s abs to the opposite side of his hips. She covered his mouth with her lips before he could speak. Her waist felt cold so she placed his arms around her and pulled him to her by clasping her fingers at the nape of his neck. The sadness she felt attempting to engulf her was overpowered by the desire to be with her husband. 
Colby eased Rebecca off of his lap without breaking their kiss. They inched passed the living room and Becca led him to her bedroom. She turned Colby around so his back was facing the bed. With a gentle hop, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he sat down on the bed. He circled her waist with his arms. The warmth of his arms eased the pain around her heart. In one quick smooth movement she eased him down onto the bed, unfolding her legs and positioning her  knees  by Colby’s hips. 
“I love you, Becca.” Colby whispered into her ear before kissing the tears on her cheeks. 
“Show me.” Becca devoured his lips again and tried to stop crying.

Chapter Fourteen
“I’m glad to hear that we have more volunteers and vendors signed up even though I don’t recognize any of the names. Are all of these people from outside of the church?” Sister Greene looked over the list.
“Yes ma’am they are business and social contacts connected to Dani, Jenessa and myself.” Becca wrung her hands. 
“This is one of the biggest events of the year. We normally have two hundred percent more cooperation from the congregation.” Sister Greene tapped her pen on the table.
“Well, I’ll see if I can find some time to reach out to the members. Maybe that will help turn the numbers around.” Vichonda smiled at Sister Greene and shot an accusatory glance at Becca. 
“Numbers aren’t important to me, Vichonda. The budget is more than covered with the deposits and full booth payments we’ve collected from the sponsors and vendors we have now. I’m amazed by how effective you three ladies have been. It may be the most we’ve ever done by this point. We still haven’t even announced it to the members. Y’all are like the modern day three hundred.” Sister Greene gave a sincere smile to Jenessa and Danielle. 
“We’re very committed to the cause.” Jenessa smiled back. 
“Before you speak with anyone, Vichonda, I’d like to meet with you and Rebecca. Please email my admin and let her know your availability.” Sister Greene stood up. “I’ll see everyone at the next meeting. Good night, ladies.”
Vichonda smiled until Sister Greene exited from the room. “I hope you have some more friends because unless she gives me your seat, you can bet on running into the same problems with getting members to help with the event this year.”
“Vichonda, if that is your last bit of business regarding the event, I’ll talk to you when we meet with Sister Greene.” Becca sized her up and smiled. “I’ll take your silence as a no, so please excuse yourself so we can finish working.”
Jenessa and Dani exchanged glances. 
Vichonda shrugged, rolled her eyes, and stood up. She opened her mouth, and then clamped it shut and stormed out of the room. 
Rebecca, Dani and Jenessa looked at each other and burst out laughing. 
“We need to stop it y’all. This is so juvenile.” Dani smiled.
“Whatever, she started it and I don’t even know why. She needs psychiatric help.” Becca shook her head and opened the folder. 
“I think she’s mad you’re married to Colby.” Jenessa said. 
“He doesn’t even know her.” Becca chuckled as she handed them each a piece of paper.
“We saw them together at CommuniTea.” Danielle looked at the paper.
“When was this?” Rebecca said.
“Before you called to tell us your aunt died.” Jenessa pulled a pen out of her bag.
“Well, I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation for it. Let’s go over these numbers and talk about implementing the social media coverage for the event.” Becca smiled and looked down at her paper.
***
“So when were you going to tell me that you met with Vichonda before you came over?” Becca stormed into the kitchen and threw her keys down on the table.
“What are you talking about, Becca?” Colby put the book down he was reading.
“I had to hear from Jenessa and Danielle that you’re having dinner and cavorting with the enemy. How can I trust you when you’re talking with the one other person in the world besides you who wants this event to fail? Are you the one telling people not to work with us for the event this year?” Becca’s hand flew to mouth.
“Have you been drinking?” Colby stood up.
“No, but you have met with Vichonda and at our spot.” Becca sighed. “It all makes sense now. Is she the chick you were dating before we got together?”
“NO!” Colby threw his hands up in the air.
“So go on a date with her and then come and spend the night with me? How is that supposed to make me feel, Colby?” Rebecca said.
“I came to talk. You were the one who put the moves on me after your mother called. You probably wanted to feel better…the way you always do when something is wrong. For the record, sex doesn’t solve problems. If it did you wouldn’t be sitting here accusing me of …I don’t even know what.” 
“Sabotage, Colby, and emotional adultery. I didn’t make time for you so you turned to some random church rat. Tell me I’m wrong.” Becca crossed her arms.
“Church rat?” Colby shook his head. “You’re soo wrong.”
“You know what a church rat is…a saved chicken head.”
“Who taught you that, Dani?” Colby chuckled and sat down. “This is ridiculous. If you don’t trust me why did you make love to me the other night?”
“I love you, Colby, and I needed you. Are you serious? My aunt just died and my mother is gone. What else was I supposed to do?” Becca sat across from him and refolded her arms.
“Talk to me. Pray with me but stop treating me like a sex for healing wind up doll.” Colby leaned his elbows onto the table and placed his hands on top of his head. “Some men might think this is a good problem to have but I have to be more than that to you, Becca.”
“Don’t change the subject, what were you doing there with her? How do you know her? Why didn’t I know it?” Becca placed her forearms on the table and leaned towards Colby.
“She called me out of the blue and asked me to meet her to talk about the event. We used to serve on the single ministry a long time ago. I didn’t realize she is who you were talking about giving you problems, she went by some childhood nickname when I was cool with her.” Colby rubbed his temples.
“Did she like you or something? Why is she blocking and hating on me with the event?”Becca said.
“No, she was crazy in love with Rajj before he met Toney. I didn’t even know she knew my name or that we were married. She said you gave her and Sister Greene my info as an emergency contact.” Colby said.
Rebecca rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair.
“What? You don’t believe me?” Colby looked at the ceiling. “Are you for real?”
“I don’t know Colby. This just a little too much drama. I need to go clear my head.” Becca stood up.
“So you’re not coming home? What about the other night? Rebecca you know I would never cheat on you. I don’t want anyone else.” Colby stood up and walked over to her.
“I know.” 
“Come home.” Colby pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
“I have to go. This isn’t helping, remember?” Rebecca placed her hand on his chest and noticed the light bouncing from her wedding rings. “I’ll call you when I make it home.”
“You’re already home. Call me when you reach the apartment.” Colby walked her to the door.

Chapter Fifteen
Danielle and Jenessa looked at each other and smiled. Jenessa eased down into Dani’s passenger seat.
“This is the part I don’t understand. I’m so tired, but you’re bouncing around.  I know it isn’t an age thing so what gives?” Jenessa attempted a smile.
“I arranged for the alternative specialist to meet with Dr. Thompson and for them to put together an alternative treatment for me that includes vitamins, supplements and other things to help me through the process. I was two steps away from trying to beat this thing with all natural remedies, but I prayed about it and God didn’t tell me to go that way.” Dani stood up and closed Jenessa’s door.
“You’re all natural and hybridy with everything how did you even end up with cancer? You’re the first stylist I’ve ever met who stopped doing relaxers and does only natural hair.” Jenessa laid her head back on the headrest.
Dani turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking space. “I slowly transitioned into a more sustainable lifestyle. Color, cuts and relaxers used to be my specialty. I stopped trying to figure out how and am trying to focus on getting through this treatment with my sanity. I don’t want to be bald as an eagle and flat chested…I already don’t have a booty, if I lose my breast I’ll look like a teenage boy.” 
“That’s silly Danielle. You’re beautiful with or without a D cup.” Jenessa eyed Danielle’s chest area. “C and a half whatever it is doesn’t define who you are or give you your femininity.” 
“It’s a full D thank you and it might not define it, but it’s important to me. I still want to breast feed my children, have my husband look at me with lust in his eyes and rip my lacy bra and matching panties off. I don’t need scar tissue and lopsided nipples to greet him when he does.” Danielle looked both ways and pulled onto the empty street.
“Breastfeeding is great, but bottle feeding is sufficient. Don’t be so dramatic about being mutilated. That is no longer a definitive. You have options, doctors in reconstructive surgery have made unimaginable technological advances.” Jenessa yawned and raised a weak finger towards a fast food drive through. “You can’t tell they cut on me can you? They caught it early enough to do a lumpectomy and an SNB. Next is chemo, and if needed radiation... So it really isn’t as bad as all that. Get me a salad and water please.”
“Wait you had your surgery and new boobs put in already? How?” Danielle signaled and waited in the turning lane. “Are you gonna be okay to eat it? You don’t get nauseous?”
“They removed the lump so I still have my breast.” Jenessa said. “Depends, on my bad days, yeah, but I feel okay today. I don’t do it immediately, though. It hits me in the middle of the night when there is no one to help me back to my room. I’ve fallen asleep leaning on my toilet more than I care to admit.”
“Oh Jenessa, are the kids still upset with you? Don’t worry. They’ll come around. You can understand why they left though right? You scared them and they can’t imagine life without you.” Dani turned into the restaurant’s drive way.
“That doesn’t make any sense that they were so scared of losing me they moved in with their father.” Jenessa sat up.
“Have you missed your visitation weekend? Don’t you appreciate the time you have with them more now? Has a day gone by when you don’t talk to them on the phone? I think they are getting exactly what they wanted, your undivided Mommy attention.” Dani smiled as she inched forward in line. 
“You sound like my ex husband. This whole experience has made me look at some things and I really messed up. I loved that man and the truth is part of me still does.” Jenessa shook her head. “Too bad you can’t go home again.”
“Of course you can. The beauty of your union comes home every other weekend and it will come home for good again soon. Just focus on beating this thing while they are living with their father. This could have all been a blessing in disguise. They said chemo could be a traumatic experience, it may have been more than they could handle.” Dani pulled forward a few inches.
 “Now, that would have sounded good a few weeks ago if that weren’t the reason they decided to move in with their father in the first place. I have two amazing kids who I taught to be able to handle anything with God’s help,” Jenessa made air quotes, “then I treated them like I didn’t think they could do it. Just like we did, Becca.”
“Well, God can still get the glory from all of this. I believe He will. The truth has to set us free. If not I don’t know what I’ll do. Losing my breasts, hair and health for nothing doesn’t line up with anything I’ve read in the word. Granted I’m not the most spiritual chic, but I know God has to have a purpose and reason behind all of this.” Danielle struggled to keep her voice from cracking. “He just has to.” 
***
“I cannot believe this.” Becca said. She looked at Sister Greene first and then at Vichonda. “Are you crazy? First you tell everyone you know in the church not to work with me, and then you come after my husband. What is wrong with you?” 
“Calm down Becca, those are some weighty accusations to make against Vichonda. Is it possible that you took on too much with this event? You have a demanding job and a new marriage. It’s understandable if you need to step down to regroup. With the corporate sponsors and your volunteers still in place, if Vichonda took over as event chair today, you would still be recognized for all of your efforts.” Sister Greene patted Rebecca’s hand and nodded.
“I don’t need time to regroup. I’m grouped just fine. What I need is someone with some discernment and ability to see when they are being played. You don’t find it odd that no one from the church, who has participated in  years past has signed up. Vichonda is the only person with access to their information.” Becca stood up and gathered her belongings. “You know what Sister Greene? You were right about one thing. I don’t have time for this foolishness. My aunt just passed from her third bout with cancer and two of my closest friends are both battling breast cancer right now. My husband and those who know me understand how important giving back through this event is to me, but if your only resource for information is Vichonda then you are welcome to use her. Unlike Ms. Vichonda I will not notify my sponsors of this ridiculous situation, because this is not about me it’s about raising awareness about breast cancer.”
Sister Greene’s eyes opened to capacity. 
Vichonda smirked, but let the evil look fall from her face as Sister Greene turned her gaze to her.
“If there is nothing further I hope God will bless you both and you have a good day.” Becca turned to walk out then paused before exiting the door. “Sister Greene you let me know what you decide.  I’ll continue to do everything I’ve been doing to make this event a success for the cause, while you make your decision. I hope God is one of the people you consult with before you do anything further.”
Becca made her way to her car without further thought to the drama from the event. She threw her things in the back seat and climbed into the driver’s seat. Once buckled in she released a scream she hoped wouldn’t cause anyone else in the parking lot to come running. As she turned the key in the ignition, her phone notification tone beeped.  
Her mother’s name popped up next to the email message.
[Becca, don’t be mad. Prayed about this since coming home and I’m not up to battling this out with you in a call right now. I’m staying here in the Dominican Republic and starting a foundation in memory of Teva to raise awareness and money to help with screenings and other things for the less fortunate here. Call you later. Praying for you. Love you. Kiss my son in law and make me some grandbabies, so I can visit!] 
“This day cannot get any worse.” Becca dropped the phone into the console between the passenger and driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition.

Chapter Sixteen
Colby walked into the church and stopped at the ministry listing to find the room number for Sister Greene. He turned around when he heard someone clear their throat.
“What are you doing here?” Dani cleared her throat again.
“I got a message from Sister Greene to come in for a meeting.” Colby said.
“Oh, well the room is this way. Jenessa is down the hall so let’s all walk in together. Or are you on Sister Greene’s side and want Rebecca to quit?” Dani crossed her arms.
“This is important to Becca so I want her to finish it. Despite what you two told her about me and Vichonda, I love my wife and only want her to be happy.” Colby placed his right hand in his pocket and leaned against the wall. “Next time you talk to her, convince her of that so she can come home.”
“Look, we didn’t tell her we saw anything more than you two eating together at her favorite spot.” Dani said.
“I agreed to meet with Vichonda while picking up something quick to eat up before a meeting. I ended up sitting with her while I waited for my meeting to start. We used to all be in the singles ministry together so we chatted  while I ate.” Colby shrugged his shoulders.
“Oh,” Danielle looked down at her feet. “Why didn’t you tell Becca?”
“It wasn’t important. I eat with people I know all the time. I don’t tell Rebecca each and every detail of my life when we’re not together. Before all of this foolishness she trusted me enough not to require me to check in and give her my itinerary. But if that is what she needs for us to work, I will because I love my wife. You tell her that too.”
“So Vichonda wasn’t trying to talk you into having her step down or trying to complain for Sister Greene?” Jenessa walked up behind Colby.
Colby jumped a bit when she appeared at his side. “She tried to bring up the event, but I told her I was proud of everything Rebecca does for the church so she dropped it. Where are we meeting? I have to get home and finish up some work.”
“Just come in with us.” Jenessa adjusted her strap on her shoulders.
“Well, once this is all over, next time you two see her, please tell her that I have her back and that I want her to come home. I miss my wife.” Colby stopped behind them and reached around to open the door to the room before Jenessa could do it.
“Good evening, everyone.” Sister Greene stood up. “Thanks for coming on such short notice.”
Jenessa, Danielle and Colby all nodded and smiled as they sat down at the table in the center of the room.
“I have spoken with Becca about some of my concerns with the low participation from the congregation in helping with the event this year. I would like your input about the matter before I make my final decision. When I prayed about it, God did not give me a release to remove her as some recommended. I’d like to hear from Colby first.”
“I have had a few friends tell me they wanted to volunteer but were advised not to do so. A few people I know from the youth basketball team I coach on said they sent emails but never received a response. Becca doesn’t handle that. She said Vichonda was over that. Becca is committed to making this event a success and because of that, I think she should continue on as chair.” Colby folded his hands on the table.
“Jenessa you’re a member what is your take on things?” Sister Greene and everyone else at the table looked at Jenessa. 
“Well, I’ve had some people ask me some weird questions about things Vichonda told them. What happened once they attempted to volunteer again? I don’t know. I can tell you that anytime I try to interact with or get any information from Vichonda, it’s not fruitful. We were instructed to give our data to her, but I refuse to do so because I’m not comfortable turning over the sensitive information of so many influential people into her hands.”
“I see.” Sister Greene tapped her pen on the table. “Dani, do you have anything to add?”
“Becca is not the problem.” Dani crossed her arm and sat back in her chair.
Sister Greene cocked her head to the side and then looked back at Colby. “Has this event placed a strain on your marriage?”
“With all due respect, Sister Greene, please tell anyone with our names in their mouths to mind their business or pray. My wife and I are like every married couple. We welcome prayer not gossip. Becca’s going through a tough time right now; therefore, giving back through this event is important to her. As her husband, seeing her complete it is important to me.” Colby said.
“Are you able to assist with the planning?” Sister Greene leaned forward on the table.
“If the people in the congregation are unwilling to help, I’ll be happy to call in all the favors and help when I can.” Colby looked at Jenessa and Danielle. “I think it’s safe to say we all are willing to help Rebecca make this event effective in honor of her aunt who recently passed away.”
“Great, I’ll let Becca know my decision. I look forward to everyone making this year better than ever.” Sister Greene smiled. “In honor of her aunt.”
  ***
“Rebecca Thorn, speaking.” Becca pressed the Bluetooth volume up button.
“Good morning, Becca, this is Sister Greene.” 
“Good morning, how are you today?” Rebecca checked traffic and signaled to change lanes.
“I’m great. Thanks for asking. Under your advisement, I took a closer look into things. I would like for you to continue on as chair for the event. I’ve also spoken with Vichonda, and as a result, Danielle will be over the database and email responses going forward. She is following up on the emails that have been sent by members who have not received any responses.  Your husband and friends love you very much and have all signed on to help us make this event a success.”
“My husband and friends?”
“Yes, I’ve had even more people sign on and sponsors commit to give. You’re a blessed woman, Becca. I appreciate all of your hard work. I have another call coming in, God bless you Becca.”
“Thank you Sister Greene. God bless you too.” Becca pressed the end button on her Bluetooth to disconnect the call.
She pressed the button on her console that connected it to her phone. “Call Dani.”
The sound of numbers dialing bounced around the car. “Dani’s Diva Den, Chandra speaking, how can I help you?”
“Hey, Chandra, please squeeze me in for the works, wherever Dani can fit me in today.” Becca turned left. 
“Okay we had a lunch cancel just for you. Be here no later than noon.” Chandra popped gum.
“Thanks,” Becca pressed end on the console. “One butt to kiss down, two to go.”
***
“Jenessa, thank you for talking to Sister Greene for me. I showed out pretty bad at our one on one. Vichonda almost got knocked out.” Becca said.
“I understand. I apologize again for not telling you about my diagnosis.” Jenessa patted her forehead with a damp rag.
“It’s okay.” Rebecca smiled. “How is your treatment going?”
“Okay, I am gonna need some extra hands when I start the next round of chemo. It’s supposed to be more intense than the phase I’m in now,” Jenessa said.
“Well, I can check on you after work. Things are going better with the event so I don’t have to be onsite at the church as much anymore. How are the kids holding up?” Becca smoothed her hand over her hair.
“They’re fine, strong like their momma.” Jenessa asked God to forgive her for omitting the truth again.
“Alright well just send me the information so I can set it up in my calendar. Thanks for all your help with the event. You and Dani amaze me.” Rebecca smiled.
“Girl please, between you and Harold, I don’t have time to let this cancer keep me down.” No she didn’t let it get her down except when the muscle spasms woke her up screaming in the middle of the night or nausea swept over her so violent she could barely make it to the bathroom.
“I’m praying for you guys, me and Colby too,” Becca said.
“We ‘re praying for y’all too. You in particular. That man loves you girl. Y’all need to work things out.”  Jenessa patted Becca on the hand.
“I know, I just don’t know how or what is going on.” Becca shook her head. “I can’t even explain it. It’s like we were happy one day until I woke up and all hell broke loose.”
“That’s because that’s exactly what happened.” Jenessa looked at her hands then into Becca’s eyes. “You know when you’re a believer, the enemy ain’t happy unless you’re not. You have to approach your marriage the same way you do everything else, like only God can keep it together because the devil wants to tear it apart.”
***
[Can you meet me for dinner? We need to talk. Becca]
[Anytime, anyplace…as long as you’re around. Colby]
[Tomorrow after the special service at our place. I love you.]
***
As Becca walked into the shop, Dani smiled and waved her over to her chair. They were announcing the information about the event today. Becca wanted to put her best foot forward when she apologized to Danielle and Sister Green.
“Before we get started, I think I owe you an apology.” Becca paused in front of the stylist chair. “Can we use the private booth and talk?”
Dani nodded and shooed Becca towards the private salon in the back for VIP, celebrity and other private clients they serviced. It was also where clients could go if they needed to discuss something in private.
“Why is all of your stuff in here?” Becca sat down in the chair.
“I knew you’d come in here getting all mushy and what not. You don’t need to apologize or thank me for talking to Sister Greene.” Dani placed the cape over Rebecca’s shoulder and snapped buttons together at the nape of her neck. 
“Well, I appreciate you all and while I understand your explanation, I really do want everyone to stop coddling me. I’m not a baby.” Becca sighed.
“Ok, point taken. How do you want your hair?” Dani held a rattail comb in her hand.
“Soft curls. You know that thing you do where it looks like I sat under the dryer for hours with big rollers in my hair?” Becca said.
“Good cause we don’t have time to straighten it if we’re going to make it to church on time. When are you going back home to your husband?” Dani pulled the tail of the comb from the front of her head and sectioned off a portion and began scratching Rebecca’s scalp with a different wide tooth soft point comb.
“I don’t want to talk about that.” 
“You know he is the reason you’re still doing this event. You think about that while you’re doing whatever it is you think you’re doing over in that apartment.” Dani pulled the tail of the comb through her hair again.
“It’s complicated alright…I just need some time.”
“You need to go home.” 
“Are you wearing that to service?” Becca looked at Danielle’s outfit.
“Don’t try to change the subject.” Dani smiled. “That’s okay I know who to talk to about it.”
“There you go telling Jesus on me. You are the most interceding heathen I know.” Becca chuckled.
“Hush, you know I love the Lord and when he leads me to the right place. I’ll join, but not a moment before then. Church people hurt people because they forget, before they were church people, all they did was hurt.” Dani said.
“I hear you, but some of those people won’t stop hurting because they need what is inside of you. Like the way you pray for me when you do my hair. I’m better for it.” Becca picked up a magazine. “Speaking of which I’ma be quiet so you can do your thing.”
Two hours later Becca and Danielle exited the rear of the shop. They climbed into Dani’s hybrid sedan and drove to the church, enjoying the new Christopher Lewis CD. When they arrived at the church, Dani pulled into the side parking lot. 
“Who told you about the side entrance? You know this is where all the serious members park so they can leave without worrying about traffic.” Becca tapped Dani on the shoulder.
“Hey, this is where the smart people park because it’s closer to the door. Members and visitors.” Dani shook her head as she walked through the door Becca held open for her.
“Well, I hope whatever God needs to say to you for you to join, is said today. I love the way you minister to people at your shop, but just like some people will never come to church, there are some who need your anointing who won’t leave it.” Becca smiled as she held the doors to the sanctuary open. “What do you think about that?”
“I don’t. Never even considered it.”Dani said.
“Well, it’s the truth so you should. C’mon let’s get close to the pulpit so I can see.” 
“You aren’t slick Rebecca Thorn.”
“I wasn’t trying to be…you know me. Just trying to get the word.” Becca smiled as she sat down.
“And increase the membership.” Dani sat down beside her.
“Of course, mature Christians are hard to find.” Becca smiled and stood as the praise team entered the pulpit. 
“Well, how can I resist an invitation like that?” Dani smiled. “I guess I should tell you I’ve been praying about joining. Perfect churches don’t exist, but I think this may be the right place for me, for right now.”
***
Chapter Seventeen
Jenessa accepted the glass of water from Harold and patted her hair. Her eyes closed and she forced back the tears threatening to run down her cheeks. She was mortified by the amounts of hair that had begun falling out. When she opened her eyes, she looked up to see Harold watching her. 
“Why don’t you allow me to help take care of you? You shouldn’t be going through this alone.” Harold rose and sat next to her. 
“You know I won’t do that Harold. I don’t believe in living together without being married.” Jenessa leaned back and settled into the cushions of the sofa. 
“Well the courthouse is open we can handle that if it is the only thing keeping us apart,” Harold said. 
“You are hilarious. I would laugh, but I’m really tired right now.” Jenessa placed the glass on the end table beside her. “Where is all of this coming from Harold? You’ve never talked about marriage before.”
“You haven’t been alone before. I would love for us to be together, and now that the children live with their father, it is possible. We could finally be together, in every way.” Harold inched closer to Jenessa. 
“So when they come home, then what? You live in your house, and I stay here and we make conjugal visits. My children are coming home again, and they come every weekend. I can’t believe that you think I want them to stay with their father. I would go pick them up right now if they called.” Jenessa said.
“I always planned to wait until Charles’ senior year of high school, propose and then get married after he graduated. When they moved out, I believed it was God answering my prayers. He knows how much I love you.” Harold stood up and walked over to the window.
“How can you say that you prayed for my children to leave, and in the same breath say you love me? Anyone who loves me also has to love my children. Whether they live with me or not, they will always be a part of my life.”Jenessa sat up and leaned forward.
“You know they don’t care for me, Jenessa, and they’re too old for me to make any real kind of connection with them. They don’t want or have to like me because their father is active in their lives. I’m an annoyance to them. If they loved you, wouldn’t they try harder to get to know me?” Harold sat in the chair across from Jenessa. 
“I didn’t know you felt this way, and my children don’t think you’re an annoyance. I don’t think they do.” Jenessa sighed. “How can you believe that they dislike you so much when you’ve hardly spent any time with them?”
“You know, we should have this chat when you’re feeling better. I apologize for bringing it up. I’ll go. Get some rest and call me if you need anything.” Harold stood and walked over to Jenessa, leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.
***
The sound of the front door opening pulled Jenessa from her sleep. She shook the fog from her mind and lifted a silent prayer for God to smooth out the kink in her neck. Just enough strength to lift herself up from the bathroom floor, filled her arms and legs. Wobbly, but standing upright Jenessa tilted her head, listening for more sounds from the living room.  
Jenessa picked up the baseball bat she kept in the corner as she left her bathroom. She poked her head out of her bedroom “Who’s there?” 
A sigh that could only come from her daughter floated up the hallway and her shoulders relaxed. 
Jenessa set the bat back in its place. She brushed her teeth, hoping her stomach settled for good, well for the rest of the day. After putting her robe on, she left her bedroom. 
“Good morning, Jenessa.” Charles Sr. looked briefly at her hair and walked back out of the front door. He reappeared with a large duffle bag. 
Dominique walked in behind her father, carrying the smallest of her suitcases. “Hi, mom.”
“Good morning, Nique.” Jenessa looked at the bag, with what would have been her eyebrow arched. Instead the muscle simply bulged as she looked at Charles Sr., then at Dominique. “Is someone going to clue me in to what is going on here?”
“I’m moving back home if that is okay with you. I mean I do still get mail here, don’t I?” Dominique walked back to her bedroom. 
Charles Sr. opened his mouth to speak; then gave Jenessa a half smile and shrug. 
Jenessa placed her hand on his arm. “Is everything okay between you two?” 
“I think I should let her tell you what happened. I’m praying for you Jenessa. I hope this turns around for you soon.” Charles Sr. patted the top of her hand.
A tear rolled down Jenessa’s cheek. She swallowed her regret and wiped the tear from her chin. “Thank you, Charles, I appreciate it.”
Charles Sr. cleared his throat and walked down the hall to Dominique’s room.  They both emerged from her room smiling. 
“I’ll call you when I get in from school tomorrow. Dad, thanks for bringing me back. I know you wanted to watch the game. I love you.” Dominique stood on her tiptoes and hugged her father around the neck. Then she planted a sweet kiss on his cheek.
“Love you too, sweetie. Now you know I don’t run a moving business so this is it.” Charles Sr. said. “But you can come spend the weekend anytime you want, as long as we’re clear.”
Dominique nodded and looked at her feet. She had taken off her tennis shoes and donned her pink birdie slippers. 
“Keep your head up, Jenessa.” Charles shook his head.  “What am I saying? Cancer will be scared of you by the time this is all over.” 
Jenessa walked Charles Sr. to the door. She waved when he looked back at  the house before climbing into his car. She turned and blocked Dominique as she tried to walk back to her bedroom. “You wanna tell me what is going on?”
“Not really. I know we’ve been visiting, and having fun, but I moved out for a reason. Moving back was not my original plan. ” Dominique turned and walked into the kitchen.
“So why are you here?” Jenessa followed her daughter into the kitchen and sat down at the table. 
“I’m not part of Jocelyn’s plans.” Dominique pulled a juice from the refrigerator. 
“Did she say or do something to you?” Jenessa stood up.
“No, I just have enough good sense to know when a woman doesn’t want me around her man, even if he is my dad. She is so insecure that it’s annoying. I don’t know what Dad sees in her.” Dominique walked out of the kitchen down the hall to her bedroom.
“She is a nice lady, Dominique. I hope you weren’t disrespectful toward her.” Jenessa said.
“Why are you taking her side? She doesn’t have anything nice to say about you. Dad practically got cussed out when he said we should pray for you, and your treatment during family prayer time. Gosh.” Dominique said.
“Regardless, she is your father’s wife, your stepmother, and it won’t do for you to be disrespectful toward her. Let’s not argue on your first day back home. I’m tired, gonna get some rest. Wanna watch a movie together later?” Jenessa said.
“You mean we’re still going to spend time together, even though I moved back in?” Dominique looked like the nine year old who loved going to Doll Land.
“I’m not too old to learn from my mistakes, Dominique. Tomorrow is not promised, and I’m going to spend as much time with you and Charles Jr. as I can. I love you, honey.” Jenessa leaned against the wall. 
Dominique smiled. She ran to her mother, and embraced her. They stood that way for a long time, holding on to each other and hoping that their relationship would be better going forward. 

Chapter Eighteen
Danielle sat down in the chair in front of Dr. Thompson’s desk. She hoped he would have good news for her. All of the doctor’s visits and other treatment were interfering with her clientele and the out of pocket cost for her treatment was already cutting into her savings. Dr. Thompson walked in and sat behind his desk. 
“Good afternoon, Danielle. You look great. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a patient going through treatment, look as healthy as you do.”Dr. Thompson smiled. 
“It’s God, and the alternative treatment that has been approved along with my chemotherapy. I’m glad we were able to work together. Is there a reason you called me into the office today?” Danielle sat back and crossed her legs at the ankle. 
“Yes, I spoke with your naturopathic consultant. We are both in agreement after looking after your most recent workups, that while you are progressing amazingly, you should still give strong consideration to the surgery.” Dr. Thompson leaned back in his seat and sighed. “I understand you’re young, Danielle, but it is imperative you attack this cancer with more force than it will attack your body.” 
“What about my desire to have children and breastfeed them,” Danielle cleared her throat. “I would like to be able to be intimate with my husband. I don’t think that this too much to ask for out of life. Do you?” 
“Danielle, this is an aggressive estrogen driven cancer. I honestly don’t think you should chance pregnancy because it could cause a reoccurrence of the breast cancer, especially since you are refusing the mastectomy. We can reconstruct your breast, and you will be able to have a normal, active sex life when you get married, but not having this surgery is not doing you any favors. You have to trust me on this.” Dr. Thompson sighed.  “I realize you don’t trust the medical industry, but I’m not asking you to do that. You said you’re a praying woman. Please ask God about this. You would be best served if you have the mastectomy.” 
“Well, weren’t we supposed to do that first? Isn’t it too late for me to have a mastectomy?” Danielle sighed.
“That is what I’m trying to tell you, Danielle. It is going well, but your cancer has not stopped spreading; it has only slowed down. We need to do the surgery to save your life. I know you didn’t want to hear this, but your naturopath agrees. In order to offer you a better chance at saving your life, we need to remove your breasts.” Dr. Thompson said. He reached into the small refrigerator for a bottle of water. 
“I understand. I’ll take what you all have recommended under consideration.” Danielle stood up.
“Don’t give it consideration, Danielle; give it to God in prayer.” Dr. Thompson stood up and walked to the door. “I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

Chapter Nineteen
Harold walks into the living room behind Jenessa. He sits next to her on the loveseat. Jenessa smiled at him, lays her head back, and with her eyes closed, she placed her feet up on a footrest. 
“So did you enjoy yourself today?” Harold said. 
“I did.” Jenessa smiled. 
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could do these kinds of things all the time, and then come home and relax all night?” Harold scooted closer to Jenessa. 
“Harold, I know we…” Jenessa’s eyes popped open and her head eased up.
“Let me love and take care of you, Nessa.” Harold pulled a small jewelry box from inside his blazer. “We don’t have anything standing between us anymore. Be my wife.” 
“I don’t think you understand. My children are coming home again. You already told me how you feel about that. Waiting until Charles Jr. graduates high school, and possibly going to school away from home is a very long engagement, Harold. I’m not having sex again until I’m married. Can you wait?” Jenessa sat up on the sofa, and let her feet drop from the foot rest. 
“What are you talking about? Those kids aren’t coming back here to help take care of you. They are selfish. They just don’t have what it takes to handle responsibility for you right now. Let me do that. I’ll be here for you no matter what. The way you are for everyone else.” Harold took her left hand, pushing the princess cut diamond up on Jenessa’s ring finger.
The front door opened and Dominique walked into the living room. Jenessa tried to pull her hand away from Harold, but he tightened his grip. Dominique looked down at the ring. Then she looked into her mother’s face. Harold released Jenessa’s hand, and sat back on the sofa.
“You have got to be kidding me!”Dominique turned around before stomping down the hall to her room. 
“I was trying to tell you, Dominique already moved back in. Two of her top ten colleges are in Texas. I’m not going to ask her to live on campus if she doesn’t want to. I can’t marry you because you don’t get along with my children.” Jenessa inched into a standing position. 
“Jenessa, wait, let me talk to her.” Harold stood up. 
Dominique opened her bedroom door, and walked to the bathroom.
“Dominique come back in the living room when you’re finished in there.” Jenessa said and sat back down. 
Dominique smacked her lips and closed the bathroom door. 
“Let me talk to her Jenessa, you’ll see. She wants you to be happy and she knows she can’t take care of you.” Harold smiled at Jenessa.
“We’ll talk to her together, Harold. Dominique is stronger than you think.” Jenessa looked down at the ring sparkling on her finger.
“If you think I’m so strong, why didn’t you tell me you had cancer?” Dominique sat in the armchair across from her mother and Harold. “So when did this happen? Last month?”
“He just asked me before you walked into the room, and I haven’t said yes yet. I would need to speak with you and Charles Jr. before I make a decision like this. You know how important y’all are to me.” Jenessa said.
“If you say so. Well my vote is no. I’m a shoe in for full scholarship at for U of H and I don’t want to live on campus with a whole bunch of people I don’t know. Maybe if I work and go to school and help around here we can spend more time together. Like we did when I was at Dad’s.” Dominique sighed and stood up.
“Wait a minute young lady. We aren’t finished talking about this. Why don’t you want your mother to be happy? Who is going to take care of her?” Harold crossed his arms.
“Not you; you haven’t been doing it up to this point. I won’t speak for my brother, but I’ll be here to help as much and as long as she will let me. When you’re gone, and the next slickster comes along I’ll still be here. She is my mother. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Dominique crossed her arms.
“Don’t speak to me in that tone, little girl. That is the problem now. Maybe I need to marry your mother, and move in to teach you some manners.” Harold uncrossed his hands and leaned forward on his knees.
“That won’t be necessary. My parents raised me well, together, despite being apart.  If it weren’t for you, and that little chic tricking my Dad into marrying her, they would still be together.” Dominique looked down the hall toward her room, and then back to Harold, and her mother. 
“Alright, Nique.” Jenessa shook her head. 
“But, mom, I’m tired of this dude coming up in here acting like he is God’s gift to you, when he is just some substandard wanna be, who is not good enough for you. Did you know he has had three failed businesses in the last twelve years? How is he going to take care of you, when he can’t even take care of himself? I don’t think he loves you as much as he loves your credit rating. He knows you’ll do whatever you can to help him if you get married, because that is the kind of woman you are.  He doesn’t love you.” Dominique pointed at Harold while glaring at him.
Harold stood up. Jenessa inched forward and stood to her feet.
“Why you nosy little…b-” Harold walked toward Dominique.
“Harold, you need to check yourself.” Jenessa scrambled to get in front of Dominique. 
Harold froze in his tracks, looking at Jenessa and Dominique.
“Tell her the truth about how you have filed bankruptcy so many times you have the probate judge’s number on speed dial.” Dominique rocked back and forth on her feet behind Jenessa.
“Is this true, Harold?” Jenessa said.
“It’s not like it sounds. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen. My businesses did fold, but I paid most of the creditors’ back, except for the ones who wouldn’t settle.” Harold stepped back, and dropped down to the sofa. “I love you Jenessa, whether you help me with my businesses or not. I just want to take care of you, help nurse you back to health and grow old with you.”
“He’s lyin momma. He hasn’t paid his state business fees for three years, and is in debt way more than he should be. Donald Trump doesn’t owe as much as he does.” Dominique said to the back of Jenessa’s head.
“How do you know all of this Dominique? Where did you get this information from?” Jenessa sat down in the chair across from the sofa. Dominique sat on the arm of the chair.
“I did an internet search on him, and his businesses. I even checked the child support websites in the states where he was married to see if he is paying his child support.” Dominique rolled her eyes at Harold.  Then she looked down at her mother. “Trying to say somebody else kids aren’t being raised right, but he can’t even send a check. Please.”
“That is enough Dominique. I understand you’re upset, but you were raised to speak to adults with respect. Regardless of what the internet says, you will not behave this way.” Jenessa tapped Dominique on the knee with her pointing finger. 
“So you’re taking his side?”Dominique jumped up and stood over her mother.
“Maybe you need to sit back down and calm yourself. You’re making me dizzy.” Jenessa slipped the ring from her finger. “Harold I told you no, before, and my answer has not changed. I can’t marry you.” 
“If you can’t marry me right now, how long do you want me to wait, Nessa?” Harold stood up and accepted the ring from Jenessa.
“No, I don’t think you understand. I can’t marry you at all.” Jenessa inched forward in the chair and Dominique helped her stand up.
“I hope you’re happy, little girl.” Harold walked past them both towards the door.
“No, I’m not happy my mother has cancer, but I’m definitely not sad she isn’t marrying you. I never liked you, because I knew what you were all about from the beginning. You don’t care about her. You just wanted her to support you.” Dominique said from behind Jenessa.
“She is wrong about me, Jenessa.” Harold stood close to Jenessa as she approached the front door. “I love you. I always will, no matter what. I had some bad luck in the past, but I’ve changed. I wanted to tell you later, once I knew I couldn’t lose you.” 
“How ironic, the things you waited to tell me later, are the reasons we won’t be together.” Jenessa reached around Harold and opened the door. “Have a nice life, Harold.”
***
Rebecca dropped her purse on the floor, and plopped down on the bench sitting outside of the rehearsal hall. Danielle and Jenessa sat on opposite sides of her. A tear trickled from her right eye as her shoulders trembled. Danielle placed her arm around her. Jenessa patted her on her knee.
“It’s going to be okay, Becca. I know it looks bad but this is going to work itself out. God didn’t bring you this far without a plan for things to fall in place after they seemed to fall apart,” Jenessa said. 
“Every one of my models has pulled out. How am I going to have a fashion show with no models?  The set has been ruined, and now they are saying it will cost another two thousand dollars to fix it in time for the show. The show is less than two weeks away. I have to find a new venue. Vichonda conveniently forgot to tell me that repairs are being done in the room I asked her to requisition, before she was removed from the committee.”
“What did you originally want to do for a fundraiser? Weren’t you able to get the skating rink to let us use the facility at no charge? I’ll go by and see if they are still willing to let us use the facility and then all we need to do is have a stage built, and redo the choreography of the show.”
“They didn’t say it would be free. It would’ve been half price for a skate admission for each person who attended, and we didn’t have to pay up front.” Becca sighed. “If you think that will help Dani, go for it. All I know is, if one more thing goes wrong-“
“You will trust God to fix it. Don’t even think about saying you’re going to quit because you know that is what the enemy wants. This is not Vichonda you’re up against but the enemy is working through her, and she doesn’t even know. Let the enemy know you’re not playing with him. We will start interceding for that young lady because, what she needs more than anything, is an intercessor, not another enemy.” Jenessa smiled at Becca. “You can’t stay angry with someone when you’re praying for them, honey. We aren’t wrestling with her, Becca. God loves her just as much as He loves us. She just doesn’t know it as much as we do yet. That is why the enemy is still able to use her.”
Rebecca crossed her arms and tapped her foot up and down. She opened her mouth to respond when Vichonda walked up to them.
“So sorry to hear about all your trouble. No venue or models; this is not good. I hear all the models were able to get paying gigs the same day as your event. I wonder how that happened.” Vichonda put one hand on one hip, and tapped her chin with her index finger of the opposite hand. 
Then she looked up before looking back at Rebecca. “Hmmmm, I do love the designs they’ll be wearing though. Maybe whoever chairs the event next year will be able to fare better, and get that designer to do the show?”
“Dani and Jenessa, let’s go. We have a lot of work to do before the fundraiser. I need to call Sister Greene to let her know what is going on with everything.” Becca stood up and was nose to nose with Vichonda before Danielle and Jenessa were able to stand up. “You have a worry free weekend Vichonda, I’m pretty sure the evil seeds you planted won’t  be ready for harvest for a little while longer, but rest assured they will.”
“Is that a threat?” Vichonda planted her fists on her hips.
“No, honey, that’s the word. Vengeance will be God’s, not mine. I’m gonna take my friends advice and pray for you. Well I’ll try anyway.” Becca stepped back and picked up her purse from the floor. “You might wanna try opening up a Bible, and reading it. Even nonbelievers know you reap what you sow.”
“Maybe that is why this is happening to you. Your best friends were two tricks who steal other people’s boyfriends, and you stole the backup plan. You deserve everything you’re getting and then some, chica.” Vichonda said.
Rebecca placed her purse back on the bench. “You’re not crazy; you’re delusional. Rajj wasn’t checking for you which is why he ended up with Toney, and I didn’t know Rosalyn was messing with him or I would have checked her like I’m about to check you. Colby is no one’s back up. He is an amazing man of God, and even on his worse day, drunk and high, he would never have wanted to be with a little countretto baby momma in training like you.”
“Countretto? Don’t be cussing at me in Spanish.” Vichonda stepped into Rebecca’s space.
“Alright ladies, this is enough. We are in church, for goodness sake.” Jenessa leaned against the wall.
“Countretto is not Spanish; it means country ghetto.” Becca laughed.
“Don’t think you got a pass card just because you married a black man. Cause I got yo ghetto. We can leave church grounds, and it can be whatever.” Vichonda opened her arms and looked Rebecca up and down.
“Are you really challenging me to fight like we’re in middle school?” Becca picked her purse up while she walked over to Jenessa to take her purse too. “I know you think you’re saved but you really need Jesus, and a psychologist wouldn’t hurt.”
“Let’s go Rebecca. We need to make that stop we talked about, get Jenessa, and then I need to get home and rest.”Dani said. 
“We’re not done talking, Mrs. Thorn.” Vichonda hissed at Becca.
“You didn’t know it, Vichonda, but this was done before you even got started.” Becca said, without looking over her shoulder as she walked down the hall toward the exit. 
***
Jenessa opened the front door. She stepped into the house with help from Dani and Rebecca. Exhaustion seeped from her pores as she tried to decide whether she was going take a nap or
 her vitamins. 
“Don’t talk to me like that, little girl. That is why you living back with your mother now.”Jocelyn stood in the hallway as Charles Jr. carried a duffle bag past Dominique to his room.
“No, I left because you’re a spiteful vengeful, conniving, jealous, insecure, trifling – ” Dominique held her ground in front of her room.
“Haven’t I told you about how you talk to adults, Nique?” Jenessa stood straight up and headed towards the kitchen. “Rebecca and Dani, please excuse my daughter she has a great case of the teen smarts. I’m not sure there is a cure. I hope she’ll just outgrow it.”
“Hi, Ms. Danielle and Ms. Rebecca.” Dominique waved at her mother’s friends then stepped back into her room and closed the door.
“Hello, Jocelyn, how are you?” Jenessa prayed God would help her talk to this woman without losing her temper.
“I’m good, Jenessa. And yourself?” Jenessa patted her nonexistent baby bump.
“The same. I did want to talk with you before you leave. I have already spoken with Dominique about how she is expected to speak to all of her elders, but I do have some concerns with the way she says you’re treating her.” Jenessa leaned on the wall as she made her way to the kitchen.
Rebecca squeezed by her and stopped in the entrance to the kitchen. “Jenessa why don’t you tell me what you’re trying to get from the kitchen and you two go into the living room and talk. It’s closer.”
“I need my vitamins because I forgot to take them this morning. Dani, could you help Rebecca with where they are and make me some of that awful looking juice you made me last time you were here. It tasted better than it looked, and I do feel better after I drink it.” Jenessa made her way to the chair in her living room and sat down.
“You look like you need some rest, Jenessa. Maybe we should talk about this later. Charles is expecting me back home soon.” Jocelyn patted her hair. 
“Jocelyn, I’m surprised you noticed. Dominique told me you were upset with Charles Sr. for wanting to pray for me during family prayer. Rest assured, I always have enough energy to take care of my children.” Jenessa said.
“If that were true they would have never moved into my house in the first place.” Jocelyn crossed her arms.
“They didn’t move into your house. Charles owned that house before he met you so drop the attitude, please, so we can have a constructive conversation about Dominique.” Jenessa closed her eyes for a moment. “Charles was a great husband and father so you must have known that he would continue to have a healthy relationship with his children. My hope was that you would also be able to do the same.”
“I don’t need you to tell me how good a husband I have. Maybe you should have remembered that when you were cheating on him.” Jocelyn grunted.
Jenessa’s eyes popped open.
Jocelyn smirked.
“I don’t see where that has anything to do with how you’re treating my daughter, like she doesn’t have rights to a relationship with her father.” Jenessa sat up. “If I hadn’t had that affair, you would have never had a chance with a man of Charles caliber. Regardless of what I did, my daughter doesn’t deserve to be disrespected by you because you aren’t even sure why he picked you to be his wife.”
“Oh, I know why he picked me. He decided to trade in his old used up model for something new and improved. Be sure I won’t make the same mistakes you did. I won’t let myself get caught up in a career when he can take care of me and our children. When the children come, I won’t let myself go, and look for outside attention because I don’t look good enough for him anymore.” Jocelyn pulled her keys out of her purse. “You focus on getting better and stay out of my business.”
“As long as you’re married to Charles Sr., how you treat our children leaves you open to my being all up in your little business.” Jenessa cleared her throat. “And for the record I gained this weight way after we were divorced. If you think the reason he married you is for your looks, you don’t have a clue how good a man he is, which means he traded down, way down.”
“I don’t have to stand here, and listen to this. I don’t need you to tell me how to parent. Your daughter moved out because all you do is work so fix your own mothering skills before you start advising me on mine.” Jocelyn pulled her purse up on her shoulder.
“You don’t have any Jocelyn. You were never a mother to her; you have always been nothing but her father’s wife.” Jenessa walked toward the door. “There is no need for you to be combative or defensive about Charles Sr. I know I messed up my marriage, and that is my problem but I will not tolerate anyone mistreating my child because they want to pretend they married someone without a past. I’ll be sure to talk to Charles Sr. about this since we weren’t able to resolve it.”
“Arggh, you’re impossible. You don’t need to bring him into this. Don’t try to break up my marriage, Jenessa. Just back off. That little girl, as you call her, will be gone to college soon, and Charles will be busy with our daughter.” Jocelyn rubbed her flat stomach again. “How I treat Dominique will be a nonissue then because between me and her, Charles will be wrapped around our fingers.”
“He must have really been going through a rough spot when he met and married you. You’re not good enough for him.” Jenessa leaned on the door. 
“My relationship with him with him is none of your concern.” Jocelyn stormed out of the door. “All Charles knows is I’m a good little Christian wife who caters to his every whim, who takes care of him very well, in every way. You remember how well you had it before you tramped around on him.”
Jenessa slammed the door in Jocelyn’s face. She took the glass of juice from Danielle and Rebecca as they entered the living room, and they helped her sit down in the chair.
“Do you think the children heard her?” Jenessa closed her eyes and sipped the juice. “We never told them about my affair.”
Dominique charged into the living room. “I knew you weren’t telling me something. I hate you!”
Becca jumped in front of Dominique and held her. 
“There is more to it than you heard Dominique. I’m not proud of what happened and I hate what it did to our family, but I never meant to hurt you, Charles Jr. or your father.” Jenessa slumped back into the couch. She closed her eyes.
“Who was it? Why did you do that? You ruined everything. I hate you.” Dominique jerked away from Becca and stomped back to her room. “I will never forgive you for this.”
Jenessa moaned, before she slid to the floor. She crumpled and sobbed into Dani’s lap. “I know I ruined everything. That is why I try so hard to be a great Christian now. I never wanted them to find out. I’m still ashamed it ever happened. I didn’t know it was happening until it was too late, and then I didn’t know how to get out of it. I begged Charles to forgive me but he couldn’t, so we split and that is when I became serious about my relationship with God. Oh God, how am I ever gonna fix this?” 
“I’m going to tell you what you would tell me. We need to give this to God. This is too big for any of us.” Dani rubbed Jenessa’s hair. “I think we should do it right now. This has been one helluva day.”
“How can you say that after saying we need to pray?” Jenessa chuckled and wiped her face with a terry cloth Rebecca handed her.
“It’s better than what I would’ve said a year ago.” Danielle laughed out loud.  “God hears my prayers and answers because of who He is, not how good I am. My imperfections don’t keep me from Him, Jenessa. They are the reason I can never live without Him. So can we pray now?”
Fresh tears rolled down Jenessa’s face as she nodded yes, and joined hands with Dani and Rebecca.

Chapter Twenty
Jenessa grabbed her head. Tears slipped from the corners of her eyes as she squinted through her right eye. Ringing in the ears was a new side effect.  The ringing stopped.  Her smartphone rang and vibrated on the nightstand next to her bed. She grabbed it before it buzzed onto the ground. 
“Hello”. The frog in her throat croaked for her.
“I need you to bring the kids to the hospital as soon as possible. I don’t think she is going to make it.” Charles Sr. sounded hoarse. 
The fog of sleep cleared. Jenessa sat up in bed as fast as her aching body allowed. 
“We’re on the fifth floor.” Charles Sr. said. “How soon can you get here, Nessa?”
“I’ll get Charles Jr. there as soon as possible.” Jenessa eased her legs out of the bed. 
“Bring Dominique too.” Charles Sr. hung up the phone. 
Jenessa stood and moved toward the door using the wall for support. Her body required a full night’s sleep for her to be productive during the work day. A call in to the office would be made on her way to the hospital. She knocked and opened Dominique’s door. 
“Dominique, get up and get dressed something is wrong with Jocelyn. We have to get to the hospital.” Jenessa said.
“Why?” Dominique sprung up out of bed.
Jenessa prayed for her daughter’s health for a brief moment. She couldn’t imagine Dominique moving slow and in pain from the treatment for breast cancer. “I don’t know. Get dressed.”
Dominique smacked her lips and rolled her eyes. Her mouth clamped shut as quick as it opened when Jenessa gave her a look hard enough to turn Medusa’s head to stone.
Jenessa walked the few feet down the hall before she raised her hand to knock but it opened. 
“What’s going on?” Charles Jr. yawned and rubbed his eyes. 
Jenessa covered her nose and wondered if the little hair left on her face was burned off by her son’s morning breath.“We need to get to the hospital. Something is wrong with Jocelyn. Brush your teeth and get dressed.”  
Charles Jr. shrugged and turned around.  Jenessa walked back to her bedroom where she pulled a sweat suit out of the closet. She lifted a prayer up on behalf of Charles Sr., Jocelyn and their unborn child. 
“Mom, do you need help?” Dominique came into her room without knocking.
“I would say no, but I’d be lying.” A tear trickled down her cheek. 
“Are you crying for her?” Dominique said. She helped her mother get the sweatshirt on over her head and shoulders. “Do you feel bad about the fight?”
“No, I just hope everything is okay. The last time I heard your father sound the way he did on the phone today was when his uncle passed. It was like he knew before it happened.” Jenessa closed her eyes and began praying to herself again.
“Are you praying for her?” Dominique handed the sweat pants to her mother and walked to the closet. She pulled out a pair of almost flawless walking shoes.
“I’m trying.” Jenessa gave another hard look to Dominique.
“She doesn’t even like you. When Dad prayed for you, she got upset.” Dominique said.
“That was her choice, and this is mine. Praying for her is the right thing to do, Nique. I’m not mad at her. When I’m bent over the toilet, dry heaving , I’m hoping someone is praying for me.” Jenessa stood up and pulled her pants over her hips. She slid on plastic shoes with a loop across the back.
Charles Jr. popped his head into the door. “Can I get something to eat before we go?”
“Get something at the hospital. We need to leave right now.” Jenessa said. 
The ride to the hospital was quiet. Dominique looked out of the window and played games on her cell phone. Charles Jr. listened to his mp3 player in the back seat. Jenessa prayed and hoped Charles Sr. would be okay and Jocelyn too. She wondered what happened that landed Jocelyn into the hospital. They parked the car and filed into the hospital with Charles Jr. leading them and Jenessa leaning on Dominique for support. 
Dominique pressed the up elevator button. After several moments the doors slid open. They climbed into the elevator. Jenessa pressed the number five and exhaled. Her stomach jumbled around her dinner as the small box whirred and glided up. She swallowed and prayed that she would not throw up on the elevator. Dominique and Charles Jr. had been spared from the bulk of her midnight episodes by being at their father’s during her intense treatment cycles. Please God. Not here, not now. She closed her eyes while she pleaded with God to let her make it to the bathroom.
The doors to the elevator slid open so Jenessa took a shaky step off. Dominique struggled under her mother’s weight and Charles Jr. stepped to the other side of Jenessa just in time help her find her balance.
“Mom, are you alright?”Charles Jr. eyes were pasted on his mother.
 “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I need to go to the bathroom, CJ go find your father.” Jenessa turned toward a door with the icon of a woman on it. “Dominique, wait here for me ok.”
Charles Jr. and Dominique exchanged a look. Jenessa only called them by their childhood nicknames when something bad was about to happen. 
Dominique looked at Charles Jr. before looking back to her mother. “Ok.”
With a nod from Dominique, Charles Jr. half walked, half sprinted to the nurses’ station. A short woman, with a spiky short blond hair cut, pointed towards the hallway to the left of the elevator. 
Dominique leaned on the wall next to the door. Jenessa walked into the bathroom. Tired from holding in the contents of her stomach, Jenessa made her way to the toilet, and lifted the lid. The contents of her dinner mixed with some of her lunch were emptied into the bowl. She prayed again, asked God to calm the queasiness trying to take over her body again. With one hand on her stomach, and one raised to the sky, she petitioned God to stop tonight’s episode before it began.  Jenessa leaned against the wall. If she were home she’d be hugging the toilet by this point. Her eyes closed, and for a moment, Jenessa fell asleep against the wall. A light tap on the door pulled her from exhaustion’s edge. 
“Mom, are you okay? You’ve been in there a while, but I don’t hear anything.” Dominique’s voice floated under the door.
“I’m fine, honey. Let me clean myself up. I’ll be there in a moment.” Jenessa said. With her foot she snapped the lid down on the toilet, and flushed the toilet. As the water ran down the pipes she dampened a paper towel to pat her face. She cupped her hands under the faucet, lowering her mouth to the sink. When the taste of the tap water lingered more than her revisited meals, she stood up. 
As Jenessa opened the door, Dominique fell into the bathroom. 
“You alright?” Dominique said.
“Yes.” Jenessa attempted a smile. “Where is your brother and your father?”
“Daddy and Charles Jr. are down this hall.” Dominique pointed up the hall. They found the Charles’ in the family waiting area outside of Jocelyn’s room. 
“How is she?” Jenessa said. 
Charles Sr. looked up and shook his head. 
Dominique looked into the room and saw a nurse and doctor talking to Jocelyn as she writhed in pain, shaking her head back and forth.
“She doesn’t want to let them operate. If she were unconscious, I could override her decision.  I could tell them what to do, what they need to do to save her, but she is stubborn as hell, and very awake.”Charles Sr. shook his head. “Ectopic pregnancy with another baby. The doctors have assured her they won’t hurt the baby in the womb, but they believe she has some serious internal bleeding . They need to operate.”
“What do you mean operate? You mean take the other baby?” Jenessa leaned made her way to the chair across from Charles and sat down. 
“It’s the other baby or she could die. Jocelyn is refusing the treatment and wants to call the intercessors from the church to pray so God can save her and the other baby. This is ridiculous. I know nothing is impossible for God, but this is crazy. Her pain is getting worse, and the doctor says she expects her to pass out soon because she is refusing anything to help with it. Now she wants them to bring her papers that say they won’t operate if she loses consciousness.” Tears slid down Charles Jr. cheeks. “If she does not have that surgery, Nessa, she is going to die.”
“Have you called the intercessors, Charles? Do you want me to go in and pray for her until they get here?” Jenessa said.
The doctors left the room. A young woman in her late thirties walked over to them and shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Armstrong. Mrs. Armstrong has signed the papers. If she loses consciousness or anything happens that prevents her from speaking on her own behalf, she does not want us to operate.” 
Charles Sr. nodded and dropped his head into his chest. “Can I go in and see her with my children?”
“Yes.” The doctor patted his hand and walked away.
“C’mon, kids, go see Jocelyn.” Charles Sr. motioned for Charles Jr. and Dominique to go into the room with him. 
Jenessa clasped her hands together, closed her eyes and prayed. 
Charles Sr. appeared in the door of the room several moments later when Jocelyn screamed and doubled over, almost falling from the hospital bed. Dominique and Charles Jr. helped her back into the bed. Two doctors, walking at a clipped pace, ushered the children out of the room along with Charles Sr. out of the room. When the children came in, they sat next to Jenessa. Each of them clutched onto their mother, as if Jocelyn’s life depended on it. The door to the room closed as Charles Sr. paced back and forth in the small area. 
“I can’t take this. I’m walking to the nurse’s station. Jenessa, you look a little pale. I’m going to bring you some juice.” Charles Sr. said more to himself than Jenessa. 
“CJ, go with your father.” Jenessa whispered into her son’s ear. 
He looked into her eyes, before looking at Dominique. 
Dominique closed her eyes, nodded her head, and then signaled with her eyes that she wanted him to join their father.   
Charles Jr. stood up and fell into step next to his father who was walking down the hallway.
 A doctor came out of the room. Jenessa looked into the face of the young woman. It was the same woman who told them of the paperwork barring surgery that Jocelyn signed earlier. Jenessa looked at the top of her daughter’s head, resting in her lap. She understood the strength of a mother’s love for her child. Crazy as it all seemed, Jenessa could respect the prolife stand Jocelyn was taking, but wondered if choosing to die with all of her children, instead of living her life with one, was truly the will of God. Both a sense of dread and an urgent desire to call on God came over Jenessa. She wanted God to help Charles through the grief of losing a wife. With a strong spirited, exhausted body, she leaned back in the chair, stroked her daughter’s hair, and asked God to empower her to help her husband –ex husband work through the process of grieving his wife. 

Chapter Twenty One
Rebecca looked at the phone she held in her hand and wondered if there was a possibility she would wake up from the nightmare planning the fashion show had become. Two major designers pulled out of the show. With no proof or evidence, her gut told her it was still Vichonda behind every wrong turn the event had taken. Ever since the meeting with Sister Greene, too many coincidences had happened. Way too many people had come to her with excuses, reasons and reneges for volunteering with the event. The clock on the wall in the churches ministry meeting room ticked in the background. 
  Becca jumped up out of her seat when she saw an email from Toney’s fiancée in Atlanta come up on her screen. 
“What is going on with you crazy woman?” Dani walked into the room and sat down across from Rebecca in the deep blue cushioned chair. 
“I’m glad you’re sitting down. I just received confirmation that Freedomz Truth and Lyrical Love from Georgia have agreed to perform at the fashion show for which I’m now without any designs or clothes. I have to call Sister Greene. The skating rink has agreed to let us use the venue except now we have no clothes!” Becca threw her hands up in the air. 
“Okay, you have to decide which news you’re going to respond to right now. Are you angry about the fashion show you didn’t want to do in the first place going down the drain, or are we gonna put together a banging report on why we need to flip this into a roller skating event like you wanted to do in the first place?” Dani pulled a mini laptop out of her oversized designer bag. “Instead of a calling it a derby why don’t we call it a skate team exhibition? You know now that I think about it watching those people who do the routines going around the rink jumping and stuff is cool. That would be hot!”
“Let me shift my focus for a moment, and I’ll let you know. How is Jenessa doing? She sounded so tired when she called and told me what happened with Charles’s wife. I hope she will be alright.” Becca shook her head. 
“She checked in with the support group online today. She has taken the week off from work and will be missing her second treatment this week, but I believe she is fine. Charles Sr. is taking it really well, too well from what she said. Too well for it to be healthy which is why she took off from work to help with the home going service for Jocelyn. That is the weirdest divorced couple I have ever seen in my life.” Dani pressed the power on her computer. 
“What online support group is this?” Becca tapped her pen on the table.
“The one for triple negative breast cancer patients.  Decided to use the internet for something positive regarding my cancer, after I finally scheduled my surgery.” Dane shrugged her shoulders. 
Becca stood up and rushed to Danielle’s side. She kneeled down and hugged her. “Why didn’t you tell me you changed your mind? I thought the natural treatment was working. You’re so much more energetic, and able to function than Jenessa, I assumed you were fine.”
Dani laughed with a snort. “I wish. The cancer slowed down, but it is still progressing so I’m having the surgery. I know God can heal me with one touch, Becca, but I also know he allowed medical advances to help heal His children. It’s not about me telling him what I want; it’s about trusting Him to do things the way He wants me to do them. When I stopped being stubborn and prayed, peace with the surgery covered me like a blanket.”
Becca squeezed Dani’s shoulders, while tears sprang from both of their eyes.
“It will mean I can’t or shouldn’t get pregnant to try to prevent the cancer from returning once they cut it out. Now I will be a flat butt, boy chested, African American woman. At least I’ll be here, right? I can always adopt. What Jenessa told me about watching Jocelyn choose to die…it did something to me. There may be a man out there who can accept me and love my shapely legs and quirky hair habits. But if I’m dead, Becca, ain’t nobody in their right mind gonna marry me. I don’t want to know the man that will want me dead…that is just nasty.” Dani laughed her normal, melodic rumble, and smiled. 
Becca took Dani’s face into her hands and stared into her best friend’s eyes. “You are so much more than any of those things, Danielle. Your appearance may be what a man is initially attracted to but that can’t keep a man in relationship with Christ around. You’ve got a beautiful heart, sweet demeanor, and a giving spirit. It’s the very essence of you; a man won’t be able to imagine life without, when he asks you to marry him, Danielle, not your cup or jean size.”
“Listen to you, giving all of that good advice, and refusing to live it. Give me marriage advice when you move back in with that fine brotha chicks are sabotaging our event over, even though he didn’t even want them. Let’s go ahead, and get this proposal to do a roller skate event instead of a fashion show over to Sister Greene.” Dani caught Rebecca’s arm as she stood up, and tried to walk back to her seat across the table. “I’ll ask God to help me learn how to live what you said, if you will.”

Chapter Twenty Two
Sister Greene walked into the skating rink, smiling. Pink ribbon balloons donated by a local business and top level sponsor were tied to the rails, next to the ticket window. Pink ribbons with silver safety pins were in dishes next to the ticket window.  She picked one up, before she pinned it on her lapel, right next to her ceramic pink and white pin with raise awareness written in fuchsia. 
“God works in mysterious ways, ladies.” Sister Greene smiled at Dani, Becca and Jenessa. 
“He does, doesn’t He?” Becca smiled back at Sister Greene. 
People filed into the derby arena and streamed past them into the stands. The crowd roared and shouted when a picture of Freedomz Truth and Lyrical Love flashed on the screen and snippets from their songs played on the jumbo screen.  
“I’m so thankful for Toni calling in favors with some of her fiance’s friends. There are a few special guests as well who are going to do some special performances.”Becca beamed. 
Logos for the different roller skating teams came up and family and friends for each team cheered. Jenessa and Dani tapped Becca on the shoulder and pointed towards the locker room. Becca nodded up and down. Sister Greene shook her head and chuckled.
“One thing I don’t understand, Rebecca, is how you were able to get all of these people to support the event in such short notice. I see quite a few people from the church but way more than I expected. What did you do?” Sister Greene said.
“Sent an email to the people I know and asked the owner to do a lot of heavy advertising. I also called in a few favors with several of my skating buddies. I’m a regular at the rink up the street from the church.” Becca held her skates up in her hands.
“You’re so tiny I can’t imagine you getting out there and crashing into the other women for fun. You’re just so …you know…girly.” Sister Greene cleared her throat.
“No I do synchronized skating and regular skating on family and gospel night. It’s really fun. Speaking of which I need to go get my outfit that I had made for today! I want to say thank you again for everything. This really means a lot to me.” Becca looked toward the door.
“Your husband and friends deserve a big thank you as well. They assured me you’d do a great job and I’m glad I listened.” Sister Greene took Becca’s hand and patted it. “Where is Colby?”
“I’m really not sure, we have a big project going right now at work but he said he would make it a priority to be here. Thank you for letting me dedicate the event to my aunt’s memory. She meant the world to me.” Rebecca said.
“My pleasure, now go get dressed. I wanna see this custom skate outfit.” Sister Green chuckled and released Rebecca’s hand.
Rebecca sprinted to the locker room. Jenessa and Dani hugged her when she walked to the locker where she stored her bag. Her pale pink wide leg athletic pants with a large fuchsia breast cancer awareness ribbon spray painted onto the leg, lay on the bench. Next to it sat a white t shirt with a rhinestone roller skate with a breast cancer ribbon on the boot of the skate. 
“You know I can’t believe you even know where to get skating outfits made. I didn’t even know they still spray painted clothes anymore. What do you think Colby will say when he sees it?” Dani said as she took Rebecca’s shirt from her.
“I haven’t seen him yet. He can’t skate so he’ll probably think it’s hilarious. Wait til you see how I blinged out the skates I bought for today! Rebecca peeled her jeans off and pulled on the yoga pants. Danielle handed her folded shirt and jeans to her. With a smile wide as a mile Becca pulled a pair of white skates with pink wheels and rhinestone hot pink ribbons on the ankle outside of each skate. Once her skates were secured Rebecca stood up and rolled over to the mirror. She pulled her hair into a ponytail on her head and donned a headband with breast cancer ribbons all over it. 
“There are no words for how cute and very skating rink you look right now. Retro skating rink but skating rink nonetheless! Love it.” Jenessa walked to the mirror and patted her hair. “How do I look? This thing feels weird. I feel overdressed.”
“You look great and very natural. No one will know it’s not yours unless you tell them. I’m sure Dani secured it very well.” Rebecca gave Jenessa a quick squeeze.
“Well, there is a well packed house, with all of the acts here and the two surprise guests. Let’s go make church history. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything quite like this before.” Jenessa smiled and led the women out of the locker room. She and Dani walked to the stage area where a chair waited for them to rest.
Rebecca grabbed a microphone and rolled onto the rink. The stands were filled between sixty and seventy percent capacity. The instrumental version to Freedomz Truth’s most popular cut, Diamond Butterfly, floated from the speakers as Rebecca and did a few tricks, turns then skated backwards ending with a front wheelie stop once she reached the middle of the rink. People in the stands went wild. 
“Welcome to the Rolling Awareness Warrior’s Breast Cancer Fundraiser. I want to thank you for your desire to raise awareness for early detection and your support for women when they are diagnosed or healing from breast cancer. There are lots of organizations raising money to find a cure and that’s great! We want to help the people impacted, affected and fighting the disease right now. So we want to get this party started. Give it up for our DJ…BAM. He is in college in Louisiana and drove all weekend to donate his services. Give it up for him, everyone!” Becca air clapped with the microphone. “I want you to meet two very special women in my life. This event is being dedicated to my Teva, who passed away from breast cancer earlier this year, and these two women who helped me bring this together. I could not have done this without them or my wonderful husband. Please welcome my coemcee’s Jenessa Armstrong, and Danielle Wardeen.” 
Dani and Jenessa walked out to the end of the stage, waving.  
“Please stand to your feet and welcome our first team as they skate to the live rendition of our special surprise guest, Darlene McCoy, singing her new single that declares life instead of death!” Rebecca air clapped as she glided to the closest exit from the rink. 
Darlene McCoy walked from behind the curtains and waved as the music began to play. The people in the stands clapped. Moments later five women dressed in dark pink with matching black shirts with the awareness ribbon incorporated in the word believe rolled onto the rink. Each woman performed a spin before freezing in the same pose. For the remainder of the song the women performed tricks, turns, coordinated dance moves and the crowd oohed and ahhed for each one. 
The lights lowered in the rink after the last skater along with Darlene McCoy left the field of vision of the crowd. The jumbo screen flashed on and a slide show with the statistics about breast cancer with the final part of the presentation highlighting the words what does breast cancer look like? Pictures of women from all walks of life and different cultures flashed on the screen. The last picture contained a live shot of Dani and Jenessa behind the curtain. 
“As a single woman still believing I’ll meet my Prince Charming, choose love and live happily with God I rejected my prognosis, and fought having a full mastectomy. Having the most deadly, resistant and aggressive form of breast cancer, the reality that my dreams of nursing a baby were dead, seemed like the death sentence that undetected cancer can become.” Dani teared up and her breath caught in her throat. “I’ve accepted my diagnosis and am planning on going forward with the treatment doctors have told me will give me the best chance of being able to choose a new dream.”
“I have lost a mother and aunt to breast cancer. My daughter had to force me to slow down and trick me to hear the words I feared all of my life. I’m fighting now, not only for me, but for her, because I want so very much to see our life, and love continue to grow.” Jenessa placed an arm around Dani’s waist and squeezed her. 
“Welcome now psalmist and songwriter, BJ Hardy Johnson.” Dani said. The screen went black and the lights on the stage came up with BJ standing in the center holding a microphone. 
The track began and BJ encouraged the crowd to clap along with her while a new team in light pink leggings with white t-shirts, a butterfly and pink ribbon in the midst rolled onto the rink.  Becca smiled and thanked God for helping it all come together to His glory. The song ended and the team left the rink.
Pictures of women with the year of birth and death flashed on the screen. The last picture was a picture of Rebecca’s aunt. A picture of her mother and her aunt and then a picture of her mother on the stage appeared on the screen. Becca skated toward the stage as a gentleman helped her mother from the stage. Rebecca stepped up onto the platform and hugged her mother tight. 
“Mommy, what…when did you get here?” Becca said.
“When the clothes show canceled, Colby called me and asked me to come. I landed last night. It was supposed to be a surprise.” Her mother hugged her neck. “I can only stay a few weeks so don’t get excited and since my son in law looked miserable, I know you’re not giving me my nieto yet so consider me being here, a favor to him. I’m not happy right now with you.” 
Rebecca tried to pull away from her mother, who allowed her to stand up and roll back. “He isn’t so perfect mami, why would he bring you, and he isn’t here? You can’t tell me that can you?” 
“That is fine, mija, but we are not done talking. I love Colby and God sent him for you. I will not sit by in quiet for you to mess up.” Her mother stepped back and blew a kiss.

Chapter Twenty Three
Dani took in a deep breath and sighed. Everything that she could think of had been taken care of except for telling everyone she had to leave. The staff fidgeted and giggles erupted from a station across from Dani. “I have put it off as long as I can but the time has come for me to tell everyone—I”
“You can’t close the shop, Dani, I need my job. I have three children.” Chandra popped her gum, crossed her arms and shook her head.
“All these women coming in, and out of this place, and we can’t stay open. Something wrong with the books then, or you need to sell your bike or your car, or something because I’m not moving to another shop. My clients love this location, and all your fancy amenities. We’ll buy you out before these doors close.” Lynese, her least favorite nail technician said. 
“As I was saying, I have breast cancer and I’ll be going in for my mastectomy next week. Chandra will be in charge as the manager, and she’ll be reporting to me daily until I’m cleared to come back. I’ve listed who is to take my clients while I’m unable to do hair. To be honest, I don’t know when I’ll be returning, but no matter what happens, the den will be open. But nice to know who’ll try to force me out, should the time arise. I’ll keep that information in mind, Lynese, thanks.”Dani leaned against her station. 
Lynese gasped. 
“In addition to this, one of the things, I’ll be researching while I’m recuperating is reducing the amount of chemical exposure to as little as legally possible. I don’t have a history of breast cancer in my family ,and I don’t know that doing hair prompted it, but this is just another reason for me to transition the den to as green as possible.” Dani shook her head and motioned for another stylist to put her hands down. “This is not up for discussion.”
“Well, at least we’re not closing. I know we don’t talk about God a lot, but our fearless leader is about to lose her tatas. I think we need to join hands, and pray.” Chandra stood up and extended her hands toward the other employees.
Dani sighed and looked up towards heaven as her shoulders relaxed. Now the only thing left to do was let them cut off her boobs. Thoughts of her anticipated loss sparked her desire to do something for women like herself. Her heart was torn between a need to find a cure, and the desire to minister to women who would be in her bra one day or soon to be lack thereof. She could pray about that, and let God lead her to what He wanted her to do after this was all over. Good grief, she was going to miss her cleavage. Rebecca meant well with her pep talks, but how could a woman who’d had two husbands understand the plight of somebody yet to snag one? Who in their right mind would marry a woman without her own breasts? Considering all the complications, and her desire to live more green, more natural, Danielle already knew she wouldn’t elect to have implants. A slow stream of tears trickled down her cheeks. Would any man choose to marry a woman with scarred tissue where breasts used to be and there was nothing there at all?

Chapter Twenty Four
Becca hung up the phone with her mother. The ride to the hotel and dinner they shared after the skating exhibition sat on top of her stomach. Instead of turning onto the street for her apartment, she drove her car toward her home with Colby. Her favorite song by Freedomz Truth played as she contemplated what she would say to let Colby know how much he hurt her by missing the event. Confusion coursed through her. How could he love her enough to send for her mother and yet miss the event? It didn’t make sense.
The door to the garage sat open so Becca pulled into her spot. Her car locked behind her as she entered the kitchen with a sigh. She had no idea how to begin. Footsteps thundered down the stairs while Colby emerged wearing a towel and carrying a bat. Rebecca smiled as she took his well toned chest, shoulders and arms in. Her anger dissipated as he sat the bat down.
“My bad, baby, I thought you were a burglar.  I realized I left the garage door open after I stepped out of the shower. I heard you moving around down here, and couldn’t find my piece.” Colby pulled her into his arms, and kissed her on the cheek. 
Rebecca stepped out of his arms. She leaned against the island, and crossed her arms. 
“What is the problem now? The event is over. Your mother is here. Lose the attitude.” Colby leaned onto a stool next to the breakfast bar.
“Yeah everything was perfect no wait…except that my husband wasn’t there and didn’t have the decency to call.” Becca said.
“You know we’re in the middle of a huge campaign with one of your friends’ companies. I don’t have a stash of cash somewhere to fall back on. I have to work, Becca. Maybe if I were born into a privileged family, I would be able to drop everything  to play the doting husband instead of making sure I replace the money I used to fly your mother here. ” Colby said.
“That is not fair Colby, and you know it. I don’t expect you to give me the financial support Antony did. Don’t bring him up anymore. This is between you and me.” Becca yelled. 
“If that were true, you would stop confusing my attempts at loving you with me trying to control you like he did.” Colby massaged his temples and paced the floor. 
“What else am I supposed to think? My mother says my aunt is dying, and you tell me I can’t go home. That woman raised me like her own when my mother had to work late, and my aunt kept strange hours just because she did.” Becca opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of cranberry juice.
“Thank you for going grocery shopping before the event, I was living off of hot dogs and Chinese food.” Colby walked up behind her and pulled her hair up to kiss her neck.
Rebecca groaned, and held the bottle in her hands. 
“I miss you, darling. Let’s not fight, I want you, when are you coming home.” Colby nibbled on the inside of Rebecca’s neck, and turned her around to kiss her on the lips.
“Please don’t do this. I miss you too, but we need to talk about what happened Satur—mmmm.” Rebecca placed the bottle on the counter, and wrapped her arms around Colby’s neck.
“When are you coming home, Rebecca?” Colby looked her in the eyes. 
“As soon as you agree to go talk to someone with me,” Rebecca followed Colby’s eyes as he looked around the kitchen. “I want us to work too, Colby. I think we need some help.”
“If I agree to that you’ll cancel your lease and move back home.” Colby said.
Becca sighed and dropped her head into his chest.
“Answer me, or I’ll refuse this blackmail deal you’re giving me.” Colby tightened his arms around her waist.
“Yes. I’ll do it tomorrow.” Becca smiled and kissed him on the lips.
“Then I guess you better go.” Colby dropped his hands to his side.
“Oh no you don’t. That is not right.” Becca rubbed her hands up, and down his chest while he reached for his towel. 
Colby backed up out of reach, putting the table between them.
“What kind of games are you playing? Get me all worked up. Then tell me to go back to the apartment alone?” Becca flipped her hair over her shoulder.
“I’m playing for our marriage to keep, and I’m playing to win.” Colby laughed. “Go ahead and let yourself out. 
Becca threw a dish towel at Colby as he sprinted past her to the stairs. A gasp escaped her lips as he dropped his towel on the way. She picked up both, dropped them back on the floor and laughed.  They would be waiting for him to pick up, and put in the laundry room.
***
“Honey, I’m home.” Becca bellowed. 
A groan rose up from the couch. 
“Do you want me to bring you anything?” Rebecca placed a bag of groceries on the dining room table.
“No,” Dani sat up on the couch with a sigh. “Yes, I need some pain meds. I just hate the way they make my brain feel like cotton.”
“You just had major surgery so of course you’re hurting. I’d be so zooted right now, I wouldn’t know your name.” Becca pulled a bottle of orange juice from the fridge. She poured a glass of orange juice, and pulled a bottle of pills from the medicine cabinet. 
“Wow, you mean you’re not on something right now?” Dani winced when she tried to laugh. 
“That is what happens when you laugh at the hand that medicates you.” Becca handed the glass to Dani and opened the bottle and poured two pills into Dani’s empty hand.
“What are you doing here? I know you moved back in with Colby, there is no way you’re making things right playing nurse over here all of the time.” Dani took a sip of juice and then quickly placed the pills in her mouth. 
“Then who would take care of you?” 
“I have other friends, and a salon full of employees who can pitch in. Don’t use me as a scapegoat.” Dani rolled her eyes and handed the glass back to Rebecca. “Have you asked God to help you live that gooey bill of goods you tried to sell me?”
“No, I can’t say that I have. But it doesn’t make it less true. You’re a beautiful woman, Dani, and you will be good as new after this is all over. How can you compare our issues? Unless he is blind and stupid, any man would be blessed to have you in his life.” Becca kneeled next to the couch. 
“Which explains why the last time I had a real date, the gumby was in style.” Dani rolled her eyes again. “Spare me. My life is quite full even without a man in it. I have resolved to be happy no matter what the future holds because despite the insurance paying for it, I’m not sure I’m getting implants. Those things could leak, explode, or even deflate then I’ll be a total freak.”
“You are beautiful, Dani, and no matter what you decide, God has someone just for you out there. It just wasn’t time yet for you to meet him until after all this happened.” Becca stood up. “You’re right so I’m going to go home now. I’m not making things better by running from things. Who do you want me to call?”
“I’ll be fine until Chandra comes to check on me this evening. Those pills you just gave me will have me knocked out in no time.” Dani settled back down into the couch and turned on the television. “Love you, Becca.”
“Sure, you do. That’s why you’re kicking me out.” Becca put the orange juice back into the refrigerator and medicine back into the cabinet.
“And proud of it.” Dani said. “I’d wave but I’m not allowed to raise my arms that high yet.”
***
Jenessa felt someone standing over. Her left eye opened, and she groaned inwardly. This conversation would not be pleasant.
“We need to talk.” Charles Sr. sat a folding chair next to her bed.
“How are you holding up?” Jenessa lifted her head and inched up a bit.
Charles Sr. placed gentle hands under her arms, and hoisted Jenessa into an upright position.  How did he know just how to touch her without causing pain, after all these years?
“Better than I should be, Nessa. I’m concerned about you though. Don’t you think you’ve been over doing it seeing how you’re in middle of chemo therapy?” Charles Sr. sat back down.
“This treatment cycle has not been as intense as the last one or the next one to come.” Jenessa felt sweat forming across her brow. Why did he even care? Didn’t his wife just die? “Why aren’t you doing worse?”
“Jocelyn and I haven’t been happy for a long time. The baby was not planned. In fact, we were actually discussing getting the marriage dissolved a few months before she announced she was pregnant.” Charles cleared his throat. “She was upset, with valid reason, to believe I wasn’t completely over you. Your ambition shouldn’t have intimidated me, Nessa. The very thing I love about you scared the hell outa me. It was wrong for me to try to change you. ” 
“You all have been married for two years, and we were divorced for five years before that. What would make her think that?” Jenessa couldn’t make her heart slow down. 
“Jenessa, we were intimate a month before I met her. How could you think I was over you?” Charles Sr. sighed. “You have no idea how much the last eight years hurt. To see you dating other men, and miss you for the most important moments in our lives. Then you get sick. When I wanted to cuss her out for not wanting to pray for you, I knew our marriage should not have happened.”
“I never stopped loving you Charles. There is no excuse for what I did, and I honestly don’t know why or how I allowed myself to be caught up with that boy, but I did. I hoped you would forgive me. I still wish you would do it now. Maybe then we can both move on with our lives.” Jenessa felt tears stream down her face.
“God never told me to divorce you, Jenessa but the pain... The cut was so deep. My mind couldn’t fathom the kind of forgiveness it would take for us to stay together.” Charles Sr. shook his head. “Jocelyn was everything I thought I wanted, but she was never enough.  I had the divorce papers drawn up, and I was going to give them to her the day she told me she was pregnant.”
“That explains why she became so hostile. It doesn’t excuse it, but I can understand why she was trying to hold on to you so tight. You’re a good man, Charles.” Jenessa placed her hand on top of his. “I really am sorry for hurting you, and destroying our family. I hope now that we understand how much we meant to each other, we can at least go back to being friends. You are, and have always been my best friend.”
Charles Sr. lifted her hands to his lips. “We need to talk about this with the children. They need to know the truth, especially Nique. She is very angry with both of us.”
Jenessa shook her head so hard it began to hurt. She grabbed her head. 
“We need to talk to them Jenessa. They love us.  This will help us all move on. Dominique has always known something wasn’t right. It is important we don’t let this secrecy eat away at the family anymore.”
“Oh, God” Jenessa shook with fear. “She already hates me Charles. What if she never speaks to me again.”
“She could forgive you, we could all heal, and move on. We need to talk to them.”
Jenessa’s head fell back onto the headboard. 
“Do you trust me?” Charles squeezed Jenessa’s hand.
Jenessa nodded, opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. “Can we pray first? I’m going to need God, Jesus, the Holy Ghost and a whole host of angels for this conversation.” 
“You have all of them, and me too. Let’s pray.” Charles took Jenessa’s other hand. 
Jenessa closed her eyes again as the tears streamed heavier than before. 

Chapter Twenty Five
The doorbell rang. Rebecca opened the door. Sister Greene stepped in carrying two pink vases filled with fresh flowers. A cough from the living room interrupted the greeting prepared to cross Becca’s lips. 
“Jenessa where do you want me to place the flowers Sister Greene brought for you?” Rebecca said.
“The kitchen counter is fine.” Jenessa said from the loveseat in her living room. “Dani, do you want to see yours or can she place it in there too?”
“Counter is fine for me.” Dani smiled.
“I’ll take those, Sister Greene. Go ahead and find a seat in the living room.” Becca accepted the gifts and walked into the kitchen.
“So, ladies, how are you feeling?” Sister Greene sat down in the armchair. 
“I’ve been better and I hope I don’t see worse with my next round of chemo.”Jenessa attempted a smile.
“I’m good.” Dani said.
Becca carried a tray of glasses into the living room. She placed a glass and prescription bottles on the coffee table in front of Dani and Jenessa. A third glass was placed in front of her seat across from Dani and Jenessa. The final glass she offered to Sister Greene. 
“Thank you, Rebecca.” Sister Greene sat the glass on the table.
Becca smiled.
“I have to tell you there has been nothing but praise and excitement about the event. I heard from Pastor, and he was ecstatic. Next year we are going to be in a transitional season, doing an awareness campaign without a fundraiser, but I’d  love to have another skating event the year after that.” Sister Greene sipped some of her juice.
“Wow!” Becca did an odd imitation of the happy dance in her seat.
“Now, Rebecca I know you’ve been doing a lot , and you are welcome to volunteer as a consultant, but I believe that you should take a little sabbatical from event director duties, and allow Jenessa and Danielle to take the lead.” Sister Greene sat her glass down and relaxed into her seat.
Rebecca stopped dancing.
“It has not been lost on me that you’re having marital problems. We don’t want to stand in the way of the time, and effort taken to get things on track after major life stress events.” Sister Greene said.
The clock on the wall chimed and the refrigerator kicked on made several grinding noises, then the sound of ice being dropped echoed into the room.
“I don’t want to sabbat.” Becca said.
Jenessa looked at Dani and Rebecca with a raised eyebrow.
“Is that even a word, Becca?” Dani shook her head.
“I don’t know. But I do know I want to stay involved.” Becca folded her arms.
“And you can. We don’t know anything about skating teams and what not so we’re going to need you as a consultant.” Jenessa smiled.
“Whatever… consolation prize.” Becca mumbled something else under her breath.
“We could always get consulting services volunteered by someone else.” Sister Greene cleared her throat.
“You know she is right, Becca. Clearly God gave her insight into what is going on. Don’t be like that.” Dani said.
“I said I’d take the consolation prize.” Rebecca smiled at Jenessa. “I’m aware that my priorities and way I dealt with things may have been a bit skewed. Colby, and I are going to talk with someone and making time to do more things together.”
 “Finally, the girl found some sense.” Jenessa chuckled with Sister Greene.
Sister Greene pretended to wipe her brow as she stood up. “Glad that is over! Wasn’t sure how it was gonna go.”
“Thank you again Dani and Jenessa. I look forward to speaking with you soon. Call and make an appointment when you’ve completed your last rounds of chemo.” Sister Greene bent down and hugged each lady.
***
Jenessa walked into the front door. Charles Jr. sat her suitcase down. The smell of lavender and mint wafted into her nostrils and propelled her towards the bathroom. She kneeled down onto the light green rug with purple spots, trying to hold down her meal as she rolled her eyes. God forgive her for thinking ill of the dead, but this was way too much girliness for Charles Sr. to be comfortable. He really did get more than he bargained for with Jocelyn. Her head throbbed at the knock on the door.
“You alright in there?” Charles Sr. said.
“Yes, the scent that hit my nose when I walked in kinda churned my stomach. I think it’s a plug in or candle or something. Please find it and turn it off. Please!” Jenessa hugged the wall and waited for the nausea to pass or complete its course.
Jenessa finished in the bathroom. It took her several moments to wash up. She swished some mouthwash around in her mouth, and prayed for God to help her through the rest of her time at Charles’ house and her chemo therapy since her children were intent on making her stay with them at his home. They hated how close their rooms were to each other in her house. One night last week no one slept, and their teachers called home to ask if things were okay because Dominique was cranky and talked back to a teacher in class. 
Jenessa opened the door and took a quick sniff. A hint of lavender and mint lingered but the scent was almost gone. The trek to the couch seemed longer than she remembered, but these days everything took more energy to do. Thank God, it was the last round of chemo. The smells may not have been right but Jocelyn deserved an extra room in her mansion in heaven for choosing the sofa. It was all Jenessa could do to keep from falling asleep sitting up, to keep that from happening she lifted her feet up and allowed herself to doze off.
The light smell of peppermint tickled Jenessa’s nose. Her eyes popped open and she smiled at Charles Sr.
“Thank you, for the tea. I can’t believe you remember how much I like it.” Jenessa eased into a seated position.
“I took your bag to the guest room. When you’re ready, I’ll be glad to help you up the stairs.” Charles Sr. smiled and sat the tea down on the end table next to Jenessa. 
“Are you sure about this, me being here? What will the neighbor’s think?” Jenessa winced.
“Don’t worry about them. You’re the mother of my children. I don’t care what other people think. I care about you getting well and our children getting a good night’s sleep.” Charles Sr. wiggled his eyebrows and sat down across from her.
“So does this mean you’ve forgiven me, Charles?” Jenessa held her breath.
Charles crossed and uncrossed his leg.
“Why don’t we talk about this later? You need rest. Finish your nap, Nessa.” Charles Sr. leaned forward.
“I would rather finish this conversation we started. Things have gotten so much better since we talked to Dominique and Charles Jr. but I really need to know that you understand that I know I made the biggest mistake of my life.” Jenessa wiped at the tear on her cheek.
“Of course I do. But I still don’t understand why?” Charles Sr. shook his head. “Were you so unhappy you couldn’t talk to me about what was wrong in our relationship, that you had to turn to another man? Don’t answer that. I don’t want to think about this.”
“We went an entire year, and never had sex, Charles. I couldn’t even begin to explain what happened, because I wanted to be with you, but you just wouldn’t. Did it ever occur to you that I was lonely? I missed you? But you pushed me away because you were tired, and wouldn’t communicate. One thing led to another at work one evening, and it ended before it could even start. I told him I regretted it, and would never let it happen again but the next thing I knew, I was fired.” Jenessa sighed. “It seemed to me like you waited to make sure I had another job because almost to the day I made my one year anniversary with FA, you were serving me with divorce papers. What else could I do but go away quietly and sign them?”
“You could have talked to me.” Charles Sr. stood up. “Yell, scream, cry, be emotional, and get mad like most women. Not be analytical, cold, and calculated like some man.”
“My personality type has always been a sore spot for you, and I don’t understand why. Yes I could have done all of those things, but what for? They wouldn’t have worked, or worked you up into a frenzy enough to be with me. I gained that weight with Charles Jr., and until we divorced you never touched me the same again. I had to get down to my prepregnancy weight for you to touch me.” Jenessa’s tears dropped into her tea.
“Is that what you think?” Charles Sr. walked over to the couch. “I wasn’t attracted to you anymore because you gained weight. That’s crazy.”
Jenessa shook her head as vigorous as she could.
“Yes it is. I loved you. Promised before God, and the entire world I would love you, and only you until we died. There was not a weight requisite in our ceremony.”
“Then why did you stop making love to me. I tried everything, and nothing worked. How long was I supposed to endure that kind of rejection from the man who took those vows and broke them?” Jenessa chuckled to herself. “You thought I felt loved, honored and cherished when I was being treated like I repulsed you. That is crazy Charles and I was wrong to cheat but I didn’t set out for it to happen, it just did.”
“I wasn’t repulsed by you, woman. I was impotent!” Charles Sr. yelled.
The air rushed out of the room, and Jenessa prayed the pain from holding her breath would stop.
“With the investigation at work, Charles Jr. being born, and my responsibilities hitting me all at once, I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t until the first night we were released to be with each other again, that I even realized. I hadn’t thought about how I wanted to be with you. We could barely wait with Dominique, but it was different because things were different when CJ was born. I never stopped loving or wanting you. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you I was having problems.” Charles Sr. sat down across from Jenessa.
“Are you kidding me?” 
“Men never kid about impotence, Nessa. I would not lie to you about this, and please don’t mention it again. The stress and anxiety from work followed me home, and it wasn’t until they fired my boss’s boss, clearing our department, that I even slept well again at night. We were divorced by the time that happened. When we began being intimate after the divorce was final, I couldn’t bring myself to ask you to remarry me because I didn’t want to take any of the blame for the divorce.” Charles dropped his shoulders.
“You didn’t make me sleep with him, Charles. I did that all on my own.” Jenessa sniffed.
“I didn’t make it hard for you to be vulnerable to another man either. I left that door open for the enemy by refusing the counseling they offered at the job, and by refusing to tell you.” Charles Sr. said.
“I don’t know what to say. I still shouldn’t have slept with him, Charles, regardless of what we were or weren’t doing. I didn’t just let you down. I let God down, our families, and myself. I thought I was a better person than that, a better Christian. It took years for me to forgive myself, and finally accept being human.” Jenessa lowered her feet to the floor. “Have you forgave yourself?”
“What? Why?” Charles frowned.
“If not it explains why you couldn’t forgive me, and why you wouldn’t give your heart to Jocelyn. Don’t you think that would help?” Jenessa eased off of the couch and joined Charles Sr. on the loveseat.
“I suppose it would. I never thought about it.” Charles Sr. said.
“I really wanted your forgiveness Charles, and I’d still love to have it now. But only after you’ve forgiven yourself.” Jenessa patted his leg and settled into the back of the chair. 
Charles Sr. looked at her, smiled and sat back next to her. He bowed his head for what felt like an hour but was more like three minutes. Once his head lifted he eased back and relaxed next to Jenessa. 
Jenessa let her eyes drift closed again. She felt tired but lighter.
“Jenessa” Charles whispered and placed his hand on top of hers. “I forgive you.”
***
“You have everything you need?” Becca hugged her mother around the neck and didn’t want to let go like her first time being left at her aunt’s daycare.
“I have much work to do, mija and you have to get started on my grandbabies. You’re not getting younger.” Her mother pinched her nose and rested her hands on Rebecca’s arms still encircled around her neck.
“Tio sent pictures of the house and the center. Only one thing is missing.” Becca sniffed.
Her mother stretched her arm out towards Colby, “I’m so thankful for you. I know you will take care of her. Give your mother, and sisters my love. We agreed to pray for grandchildren soon. The quicker I go, the faster you start, no?” 
Rebecca turned a new shade of red. Colby laughed, hugged her mother, then pried her fingers from around her neck. He placed one of her hands around his waist, and kissed her on the temple. Her mother winked at Colby before she walked through the maze of ropes to start the process of being cleared to fly back to her home.
“Thank you for helping me get things situated for her back home. When did you say we were going to visit her, and see the center?” Becca kept her eyes glued to her mother.
“We have vacation coming up in three months, just in time for the official opening of the center. Don’t worry, Becca. She will be fine, and so will we.” Colby squeezed her shoulders.
“I know. I just miss her already.” Rebecca sighed. “There are several hours left before our session you wanna take me home and console me?”
“Why wait? There’s a hotel attached to the airport.” Colby laughed.
“You missed me enough to drop $300 on a room for a few hours?” Becca kissed him on the cheek.
“Absolutely.” Colby kissed her back, and pointed to her mother.
Becca waved, and blew a kiss. Her mother turned to walk toward the terminal.

Chapter Twenty Six
Jenessa smiled at Dani and Rebecca as she entered the salon. Chandra waved from her desk. Music wafted down from the new overhead speakers, and a light smell of cinnamon and linen floated past Jenessa out the door. Months ago it would have sent her running to the bathroom, but today she appreciated being alive to smell it. What a difference a year made.
“I have the private salon ready for y’all,” Chandra said. 
“Thanks, hon, you’re a doll.” Dani smiled.
Rebecca trembled, just a little, as Dani wrapped her hair in a towel. Dani placed Becca’s hand on the back of the towel. “Let’s go chic. We have a lot to talk about.” 
“I’m sure,” Becca said as she held the towel in place. Her mind whirled as she imagined what news Dani and Jenessa had to give to her. Each train of thought would halt mid way down the track. She was without a clue.
Jenessa followed the ladies into the private salon. Becca sat down in the stylist chair. Danielle turned the massage chair with foot spa attached heat on for Jenessa. 
“What is the big news?” Becca shivered again.
“We’re introducing a special line of products for women who have survived breast cancer but have elected not to have reconstructive surgery, or have had complications resulting in having the implants removed.” Jenessa said.
“Huh?” Becca tried to turn around, but Dani cleared her throat. “I thought you had your breasts replaced as soon as they took out the bad ones. I mean isn’t that the only way you can do it?”
“No. It really depends on the cancer. Some women don’t even have to have their breast removed at all. They remove the cancer, and after chemo, they go on with their lives.” Dani sprayed finishing spray on Rebecca’s hair and picked up her comb.
“So what have you developed?” Becca turned to look at Jenessa in the swivel chair while Dani changed instruments.
“We want to do scar appliqués.” Jenessa smiled.
“What about the women who did like their implants? They may need special stuff. This sounds kind of biased, guys.” Becca looked up at Dani. 
“There are plenty of companies for women who need camisoles, bras with inserts and all other kinds of stuff to make you look like you did before.” Dani combed out the section of Becca’s hair she completed. “What about women like me who are going to have to reveal this new body to my hubby? Unless he is a virgin I’m going to be the first woman without breasts he’ll have been with.”
“Wait a minute Dani, you have breasts! Are you telling me you’re wearing falsies right now?” Becca stared at Danielle and then Jenessa’s chest.
“They’re called implants and yes. I wear camisoles with implant shelves. The only time I don’t worry about it is when I’m riding my bike.” Becca looked at Jenessa and nodded. “Are you going to do wigs and weaves for your company?” 
“No, there are enough people who do that already so we’re focusing on building packages that will help people through the process, and give them more information about what their options are; it will also give information on how to adjust spiritually, emotionally and physically to their new bodies,” Jenessa said. “My true essence is not locked into my hair color, length, or texture, and it is definitely not dictated by the measurements on my body. Dani and I have talked a lot about the impact on self esteem and image this disease has. I don’t know how she copes with losing the option to breast feed her children.”
“You were right, Becca, even if you weren’t able to see it in your situation with Colby at the time, what you said made sense. The more I ran from the treatment, from my diagnosis the more I knew you were right, but I just couldn’t imagine life without the twins.” Dani wiped a pretend tear from her cheek and pouted. 
“What twins? You had a vision of your children or something?” Becca chuckled and shook her head.
“No, my boobs. They were a set. If I hadn’t had such an aggressive and progressed case maybe I could’ve saved them. Even though I didn’t, I’m still going to make someone an amazing wife and mother.” Dani smiled at Jenessa. “Because my true essence is beyond the bend of my hips, and the swell of my womb, with or without hair, breasts and physical beauty, God is absolutely crazy about me, and I insult him when I don’t agree.”
A rat tailed comb stuck straight up, out of Becca’s hair as she stood up. She pulled Dani and Jenessa into a bear hug. Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I couldn’t have said it better myself…wait a minute I think I did. You’re very wise, my event and wisdom stealing friends.”
“You are as wise as we are. You finally went home, and started treating that man right. I’m glad too because I was starting to think something was off with your essence.” Jenessa tossed a foam toe separator at Becca who ducked. 
All three women laughed as Dani picked it up from the floor, and placed it in the trash can. 
“I’m not saying I don’t cry, and think about what I may have given up by opting for the surgery. I do. But I’m trusting and leaning on God to help me through this all, even the fact that despite all I’ve given up, the cancer could still come back. I have a full understanding of my true essence. Now I have to master learning to love this new body, the way I did the old one. That could take months.” Dani chuckled.
“Girl please embracing the new me could take years. I don’t miss the back pain from my breast, but I definitely never anticipated being a member of the ITBC.” Jenessa chuckled. “Shoot, truth be told, I have decided to look at this whole situation as a blessing, because it forced me to find out the true essence of what makes me lovable; some women never learn that. Men either for that matter.”
“What is the name of your company?” Becca said.
“It’s not a company because neither of us is quitting our day jobs. It’s a foundation called Embracing My Self Now.” Dani combed through Becca’s hair. “Of course we are going to need help marketing and stuff.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll check with Colby first, but I think I should be able to help with that.” Becca said.
Jenessa raised her eyebrow and smiled at Dani.
“What I’m learning, too!” Becca stuck her tongue out as Jenessa and Dani shook their heads and laughed. 
###

What happened with Dani, Becca and Jenessa? Go to www.shawneda.com and click the contact button to sign up to receive notification when the sequel Embracing Myself Now will be available.
###
I dedicate this story to the memory of the two women in Gannt family who lost their lives much too early to breast cancer. Your love is still felt in the lives of your descendants. 

Acknowledgements and Thanks
First and foremost I give all the glory to God for the gift of storytelling. To my husband Paul, I thank God for bringing us together every day. Your support enables me to live on purpose. Leleangel, you inspire me to want to be the best woman I can be. My prayer is to teach you to do as I do and not just as I say. Thank you for loving and praying for Mommie. Ms. Zenda Duren, you’re love for literacy and children have endeared you to me for life. I’ll never forget how God answered my prayers in providing a safe, loving Christian environment for my most precious gift. For all of my family, friends, Spelman sistahs and peers your help, feedback and camaraderie are priceless, you know how important you are to me please insert your name  .                      .  (I would love to name you all but I have to get started on the next book and don’t want to forget anyone.) 
To all of the readers, I pray God had something special for you between these lines. If He did tell a friend, your church, book club, sororities, fraternities, civic organizations any and everyone you know loves to read and enjoys ebooks. It is my pleasure to connect via Skype, ooVoo, and other technology. I would love to discuss this and any of my other books with you. Feel free to connect one on one with me online:

Shawneda.com
Facebook
Twitter
Goodreads
Shelfari
LibraryThing