THE BOOK CLUB by Maureen Mullis SMASHWORDS EDITION Published by Maureen Mullis at Smashwords Copyright 2011 Maureen Mullis Visit the author at her blog: www.maureenmullis.blogspot.com All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners. Smashwords Edition, License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. * * * * * * * * * * THE BOOK CLUB * * * * * It wasn’t that she didn’t like the book club, Diane told herself as she vacuumed the living room in readiness for that evening’s meeting. It was just that she felt herself in a rut. The same women month after month, the same dull conversation after the book had been discussed and the desert passed out. Why, even the critiques of the books they read were sounding the same. Finished cleaning, she sighed, stood and stretched. How she hated housework, and on this beautiful early summer morning she begrudged having to do it for a bunch of women that she was beginning to resent. By that evening, as the hour for the group’s arrival drew near, Diane’s resentment had grown. Sinking into an easy chair she contemplated not answering the door when they arrived. She didn’t think she could take an evening of their mind-numbing ranting again. The kids said this, my husband did that, I tried a new recipe, blah blah blah. Folding her arms Diane felt her head would explode if she thought about it anymore. The doorbell rang. Choking down her resentment Diane rose and opened the door to find sisters Louisa and Sandy on her porch. Their pale red hair looked like cotton on their pallid scalps, their slightly plump bodies’ mirror images of one another. They stood with expressions that seemed to match her own. “Hey,” she said and moved back. “Come on in.” Sandy stepped in first followed by Louisa. Both of them had their books tucked under their arms. They took seats and sat staring uninterested at Diane. The tug of etiquette nagged at her causing her to try to put her guests at ease. “Ready for our discussion tonight?” she asked a little too brightly. “Actually, no,” Sandy answered, her watery blue eyes turning to Diane’s. “I don’t think I’m going to be coming to book club anymore.” Diane’s eyebrows rose in surprise as Louisa chimed in. “Me either. It’s not fun anymore. In the beginning the club was. Fun, that is. It felt like being part of something special.” Sandy nodded. “Now it feels more like an obligation. You’re right—it isn’t the same.” “I feel the same way,” Diane told them. “I’ve been peevish all afternoon getting ready for tonight and wishing I could be somewhere else.” “Then let’s go somewhere else,” Sandy said tossing her book on the coffee table in front of her. “I say when the others get here we take off.” “Where?” Diane asked. Casting a sly glance toward her sibling Sandy turned back to Diane. “We’ll talk about it when we’re all together.” She refused to say more until the others arrived. It wasn’t long before the rest of the club got to Diane’s but it seemed an eternity to her. When they were all settled Diane reviewed the group. There were eight of them in all: Beth, who worked part-time as a bookkeeper, Terry, a retired nurse, and Cathy, Leslie and Andrea who were, like Diane and the sisters, stay-at-home wives and mothers with children of a variety of ages, which was the reason they started the book club; to give them a break from keeping house and caring for children. But now, Diane thought, most of them had children that were in high school or older and didn’t take up as much time in their lives. And the rut of housekeeping had been replaced with the rut of this group. Her thoughts were interrupted by Sandy’s clearing her throat. “This group has gotten stale. Louisa and I have been talking, and Diane seems to agree with us, that we need a change of pace. We have a plan to shake things up a bit.” She paused and looked round at them all. “Anyone here particularly interested in discussing another book this evening?” Louisa asked, her voice sharp, her eyes flashing. “Definitely not,” Beth answered with a shake of her head, her grey curls bouncing softly around her face as the others murmured their assent. “What do you have in mind?” asked Andrea, a slim, 48-year-old with two sets of twins that belied her figure. “Getting back to basics,” Louisa stood up. “Let’s get in our cars. You all follow Sandy and I and we’ll get started.” In spite of herself Diane grinned. This was just what they needed, something different, she thought. Grabbing their purses the women followed the sisters out to get in their cars and see where they would wind up. A short drive later found them winding their way into Willow Lake County Park. The biggest park in town it was the place to gather for picnics and fireworks, family reunions, and school’s year-end outings. Groups of women regularly hiked its shoreline and weekend soccer games were played on the fields. The groups of willows that punctuated the evergreens and oaks gave the lake its name and their green drooping branches swept the ground gently as the early evening breeze stirred the air. It smelled sweet to Diane as she steered her car along the path. Bringing up the rear she wondered at their coming here. When they reached the lot at the far side of the lake the sisters parked and the rest of them followed suit. “This way!” Sandy called and headed down the nearby path leading them off to the side of the lake where no picnic tables or fields lay. Diane fell in step beside Terry. “Do you know what this is about?” Terry asked. “I think it’s just what they said; they’re trying to bring back some of the excitement we used to have in this group. It has gotten a bit lackluster, don’t you think?” Diane said. “Ah. I thought it was just me,” Terry answered. “You know, I retired, my kids are out on their own. I mean, I’m 62.” “So, what, at our age life isn’t supposed to be interesting anymore?” Diane asked. “I’m 57, my kids are off at college and their own lives. So are Andrea’s, Beth’s and the sisters. Cathy and Leslie are the only ones with kids left at home, and they’re all in high school. We’re all between what, 48 and 66?” Terry blew a breath out. “Dang, I’m out of shape,” she wheezed. “You’re right. We’re in the next phase of life and things have gotten wearisome.” She paused for a moment to catch her breath. Diane stopped with her. “I guess it’s easy to believe this is it,” Diane said. “But it doesn’t have to be.” “I agree,” Terry said and started up again. “So this month instead of talking about that dumb book we just read we’ll have a picnic or what ever those two have concocted.” Diane laughed. “That’s the spirit.” Soon the group arrived at a little clearing at the edge of the water. A fire had been laid. Old palates, logs and a motley collection of wood were gathered to create what looked like would be huge bonfire. Rocks had been gathered and placed in a large circle around the clearing creating the feeling of an enclosure. Just outside the circle on one side stood a large cooler, a pile of blankets and a cardboard box with a variety of items sticking out from it. Diane couldn’t be sure what was in it but was anxious to find out what was planned. They stood for a few moments catching their breath. The sun hanging off to the west seemed to be in no hurry to leave the sky. Intrigued by what the sisters had planned Diane watched her friends with a mixture of interest and wariness. For a brief moment she felt that weird itchiness on the back of her neck as if someone was staring at her. Turning to look behind her she saw nothing but the thicket of trees standing there. “What?” asked Beth standing next to her and turning to look behind them as well. “I just had a strange feeling of someone watching us,” Diane told her. Beth frowned and continued to scan the woods. “Yeah. It doesn’t feel as if we’re entirely alone, does it?” Andrea, on Beth’s other side leaned over. “What is it?” “Do you feel anything?” Beth asked. “It feels a little creepy being over here away from the main part of the park,” Andrea agreed. “Do you get a sense that we’re not alone here?” Diane asked. “Because I sure do.” Andrea shrugged as Sandy clapped her hands together to get everyone’s attention. “Okay!” Sandy cried. “We’re all here. Louisa and I have prepared this evening especially so that we can renew ourselves.” “What are you talking about?” Cathy asked. “We aren’t a group of library books.” “Renew our spirits,” Louisa explained. “The ancient druids used to celebrate the equinox and the solstice with ritual activities in sacred forest groves. These renewal festivals were celebrations of who they were and were used to energize themselves.” “And today is the summer solstice!” Leslie cried. “I’m not into any of that weird ritual stuff,” Andrea said taking a step back from the group. “That doesn’t feel right to me.” “And this isn’t a sacred forest either, ladies,” Sandy interjected. “We just thought that coming here to the lake and having some time together outside of the book club would give us a chance to remember that we were friends before the book club. To try to get that back.” Looking at each woman directly Diane asked, “Have you all been feeling discontented with what’s been happening to our club?” When they shrugged or mumbled their agreement she went on. “I’ve gotten to the point where I dread our monthly meetings. It’s drab. We used to be interesting people. Women I loved to know and count as friends. But the last year or so it’s become monotonous. We just mark the time off.” “She’s right,” Terry joined in. “I know we’re not twenty-something anymore, but there’s got to be more to our lives then waiting for grandchildren and discussing adventures we read about in books.” Louisa gave a firm nod, her smile broadening as understanding began. “This is what we were thinking. Today is the summer solstice. We’ll have our own renewal festival. Renew ourselves, our friendships, and hopefully our book club.” “So, what did you have in mind for this festival?” Cathy asked a little doubtfully. Sandy pointed to the supplies they’d set up at the circle’s edge. “We have a cooler of cold drinks, marshmallows and sticks, some blankets for us to sit on and some ideas for a couple of activities. If you’re game, let’s bring them into the circle and light our fire.” Eagerly the women got the fire going. Cathy and Beth laid the blankets out around the blaze while Terry and Diane carried over the cooler and handed sodas and water bottles out. Sandy, Louisa and Andrea passed out the sticks and treats and soon they were all roasting the marshmallows, singing “Kumbaya,” and making themselves laugh like school girls. As the sun finally began it’s descent behind the mountains, the group began to quiet down. The strange feeling that had plagued Diane earlier returned. In the deepening shadows within the trees she had the strongest sense that they were not alone in their little circle of renewal. Tapping Terry on her knee she asked her if she felt it too. “You know, I do, but it could just be because it’s getting darker. Maybe we just imagined what we felt earlier.” Diane shifted her gaze back to the bonfire and tried to shake off the feeling. Feeling slightly ill from all the marshmallows she’d eaten she tossed her stick into the flames and watched as it caught fire and slowly started to burn up. Others followed suit until Sandy struggled to her feet and called for their attention. “We’ve had some fun singing songs and eating sugar like we were sixteen again and that was fun,” she began as the rest of the group gave up embarrassed giggles. Diane noted that Cathy was licking off pieces of marshmallows that had stuck to her fingers making her look like a contented cat taking a bath in the warm glow of the fire. “But now,” Sandy continued, “we come to the renewal part of the evening.” A buzz of interest circled the fire. “The thing is I don’t want any regrets at my age. We’re entering that stage of our lives where our priorities are changing. Cathy and Leslie—your kids are right behind the rest of us and soon you’ll be empty nesters too,” Sandy said. “I hate that term!” Terry barked. “Makes me feel like some old chicken sitting around waiting to be fried up for Sunday dinner.” As the others laughed at the analogy Sandy placed her hands on her hips and nodded fiercely. “Exactly!” she cried. “This is exactly the way Louisa and I have been feeling. Good to know we’re not alone.” “So let’s take care of business!” Louisa called out. They hadn’t noticed that she had also risen to her feet and was now rummaging through the box that was sitting nearby. She pulled out a large soft-bound book and came back to stand beside her sister. “This is my big regret,” she said and held the book up for all of them to see. It was a college course book catalog. “I’ve regretted not finishing my college degree for over forty years. Doesn’t matter that I’ve headed committees, organized community fundraisers, volunteered for political campaigns and raised four kids who are successful, happy and good people,” she told them watching as they nodded their understanding. “No, that doesn’t seem to matter much to my sorry old heart. But the fact that I never finished college just sticks in my craw like a piece of old meat. I don’t want to carry that around with me anymore. I want to relish in my accomplishments, enjoy the future and what is waiting for Karl and me, and get this off my mind.” Raising the book above her head Louise looked triumphant in the glow of the fire. “So here it goes, my old regret, my companion these many years. You’re no friend of mine! Goodbye you old disappointment. I’m letting you go.” With that she tossed the catalog onto the fire. As it caught Louisa and Sandy cheered. “Get on your feet girls! It’s time to let go!” Sandy called out. “Way to go!” Terry cried and pushed herself to her feet. “Good for you Louisa!” Beth shouted. One by one they all got to their feet, calling out words of encouragement and excitement for Louisa’s act. When they quieted Sandy reached into her pocket and pulled out a faded photograph and held it up. “This is a picture of me when I was 25. I weighed 120 pounds and had a 22-inch waist. For the past forty years I’ve been trying to get back to that and beating myself up mentally because I couldn’t do it.” “Here here!” someone said. Laughter and sounds of understanding trickled around the circle. “Exactly,” Sandy said. “And I’m tired. Tired of feeling like a failure. I’ve had three children, put my husband through law school, volunteered in every known position at all the schools my children went to, kept house, gardened and then some. So I don’t look like I’m 25 any more. Who does?” “Who cares?” Andrea yelled. “You’re beautiful just the way you are, Sandy! And we all love you for who you are.” They all agreed and made it known that Sandy was accepted in their eyes and hearts. With tears in her eyes Sandy nodded her acknowledgment. “That’s why I’m throwing this regret into the fire, ladies. I’m tired of beating this old horse, and am ready for the rest of my life as it comes to me!” With a slight bow and a twist of her wrist Sandy threw the photograph into the fire where it quickly caught fire and disappeared. Again the group erupted into cheers of support and happiness. “Now we know, since we sprung this on you, that you haven’t brought any items with you to burn on the bonfire,” Louisa said. It was completely dark now and the flickering firelight made her look a bit eerie. “We have paper and pens so that you can write down what you want to let go of. Please take advantage of this, and share with us all what you want to burn out of your lives.” Passing around the items they each took one eagerly. Diane looked down at the blank piece of paper in her hands and thought of many regrets she’d been carrying with her. Looking up her eyes circled the group around the fire, each one special to her in their own way. Then she looked back down and began to write. When they were all done they each took a moment to tell what they were letting go. Leslie was first and cast a shy smile at the group. “My regret isn’t much, and it’s one I didn’t have much control over. I regret that I was only able to have one child. Most of you know that I couldn’t have any more after I had Jamie, and I had always hoped for a large family. But lately, when I watch him, I realize that I truly am lucky. He’s a good boy, a smart boy, and this fall when he starts college I know he’ll do well.” She smiled as she gazed into the fire. “I know there are women unable to have even one child, so I count my blessings. And I’m going to stop regretting that I couldn’t have more children.” Another cheer as her paper burned. Beth was letting go of her regret that she hadn’t accomplished more in her career. “I wanted to be more than a bookkeeper and always hoped to earn an MBA.” She gave a nod in Louisa’s direction. “I know that regret of wishing you’d completed a degree. But I also know I fill an important need for my clients and I have a happy life. I’m giving that regret the boot!” she laughed and tossed her paper onto the fire. Cathy, her head bowed, hesitated a moment then looked up, her eyes meeting each of theirs in an almost defiant manner. “I regret very little in my life,” she began, “but the thing I do regret is a secret I’ve kept in my heart for many years.” A sob caught in her chest. She took a deep breath and then went on. “I had a baby when I was in high school. A secret I’ve been holding close to myself for more years than I can think about. I’ve regretted that more than I can say. This past winter my daughter got in touch with me. She’s beautiful, happy, and one of the most centered young people I’ve ever met. I don’t regret having her, or giving her to parents who loved her as much as I could have.” Andrea reached over and put her arm around Cathy for support. “I’m not a bad person for having had a baby when I was too young to deal with it, and I’m not a bad person for giving her up. I don’t regret it any more. And I don’t want to carry that secret any more. It’s too heavy and I’m ready to let it go.” With that she crumpled the paper into a tight ball and tossed it into the fire where it disappeared with the flames. “We love you Cathy,” Andrea said for them all. “You are one of the bravest women we know. We’re all proud of you for throwing that paper into the fire.” Sandy started to applaud and soon they all were clapping and cheering as Cathy wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face. “Well,” Andrea sighed when they had all quieted down. “I regret that I wasn’t there when my mother died. I know, I know, it wasn’t my fault. We’d heard so many times that she was going, and we rushed out there again and again only to have her rally back. And the one time we get the call and she really doesn’t make it, I’m not there.” She paused a moment to compose herself then went on. “But I’ve come to realize that I was there all the times that she did make it. I was there, and told her I loved her, and she saw that I loved her and came to her side when she needed me. So I wasn’t there when she finally passed, does that matter? Or do the times I was there when she knew I was matter more? I don’t know the answer to that, but do know that I’m ready to lay that guilt to rest.” Taking a couple of steps forward she gently placed her paper near the flames edge until it caught fire then tossed it on to complete burning. Once again the group showed their support in applause as Andrea stepped back in line. “I regret that I worked so much when my children were little,” Terry spoke up. “But my income allowed us to take some fabulous vacations, and it put my youngest through medical school. Things we couldn’t have done if I hadn’t worked. So I’m going to give that regret to the fire as well.” Wiping a tear off her cheek Terry tossed her paper onto the fire as the group cheered her on as well. Diane, who’d been listening and applauding as the others voiced their regrets, finally came to her turn. “You know what I regret?” she asked as she looked at them one by one. “I regret you. All of you. I regret that these last couple of years I’ve neglected to remember what treasures I have in my friendships with you. I’d come to resent the book club. How could I have forgotten that friends are the finest, most beautiful gift we can have in life?” Feeling a tear slide down her own cheek she laughed ruefully. “This has turned into a maudlin exercise, I suppose, but I want you to know that I’ll never take any of you for granted again.” Tossing her paper onto the fire everyone let up a loud cheer as the last regret burned up. A coil of rope soared over their heads and landed on the fire in a rush of sparks. With a gasp of surprise they turned to see a woman standing behind Cathy and Andrea. “That’s my regret,” she said nodding toward the fire. “I’ve been watching you all evening. I came here tonight with the intention of ending my miserable life. When I heard you here I came over to investigate. Listening to you has given me hope. We all have regrets, but we can move on, can’t we?” “Of course we can,” Louisa said gently and walked over to pull the woman into their circle. Just as she did so the scream of sirens filled the air and six police cruisers surrounded the group, their lights flashing, officers jumping out and circling the women and their fire. “Okay ladies,” one of the policemen shouted. “You’re all under arrest for trespassing after hours and an illegal fire on county property! Don’t move!” They all froze and looked at each other. Grinning Louisa asked, “Anyone want to throw this one on the fire before we get hauled in?” # # # I hope you enjoyed reading my short story The Book Club. Check out my other free short stories as well as my books on smashwords.com, including the cozy mystery What Would Nancy Do? and the novel In the Company of Women. I love hearing from readers. You can reach me at my blog at http://www.maureenmullis.blogspot.com and follow me on Twitter and Facebook, or contact me via email at maureenmullis@hotmail.com.