So Wonderful
A Stage Play in One Act
Steven Ayckbourn
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Copyright © 2011 Steven Ayckbourn
Smashwords Edition
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Smashwords Edition, License Notes
Thank you for downloading this free e-script. Although this is a free script, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes (see Play Readings exception clause below). If you enjoyed this e-script, please encourage your friends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.
Play Readings & Performance Rights
The author is aware that plays are not written to be read but performed. So should you subsequently decide to conduct a read-through of the play, additional copies of the script for each of the play's characters can be downloaded. Please note that any performance, either professional or amateur, is strictly forbidden without the prior permission of the author and copyright owner. Visit the author's Web site for further information on obtaining performance rights. Thank you for respecting the author's work.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Author's Web site: www.stevenayckbourn.com
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SO WONDERFUL
A Stage Play in One Act
By Steven Ayckbourn
Characters
SARAH
GEMMA
RANDOLFO
PETE
A café / wine bar.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Author's Note:
A double solidus // inserted within the dialogue represents a pronounced pause and/or change in a character's thought process. I have included them solely as sight reading aids.
The SCENE WITHIN denotes a character's internalised, out of time moment acted out. As to whether all the characters who appear actually exist, that is debatable.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
SCENE
Sarah is sitting at a table. Gemma enters carrying two cappuccinos. She stops and notes Sarah before placing a cup in front of her.
SARAH
Thanks.
GEMMA
I passed on the cake. (sitting down) Oh Sarah - it’s so wonderful to see you.
Sarah smiles.
I’ve only got twenty minutes. Pete’s picking me up - though he’s bound to be late. Well - I can’t wait to hear all about it. Was it... Fab?
SARAH
Fab?
GEMMA
You know... Fabulous. What?
SARAH
It’s just I haven’t heard that word for a while.
GEMMA
Fabulous?
SARAH
Fab.
GEMMA
Of course not - you’ve been in Spain. What do they say out there? Something much more exotic, I expect.
SARAH
'Fabuloso'.
GEMMA
Similar. Still I wouldn't mind doing something fabuloso - once in a while. I wouldn't mind if he called me fabuloso once in a while. The most he does these days is call to say he's running late.
SARAH
He didn't call me that.
GEMMA
Who?
SARAH
Randolfo.
GEMMA
Randolfo?
SARAH
Si.
SCENE WITHIN
Randolfo enters. He is handsome with a tanned complexion. He watches her for a moment.
RANDOLFO
Hola, hermosa sonrisa. (Hello, beautiful smile)
SARAH
Sorry. Are you talking to me?
RANDOLFO
I see no one else. Usted no habla mi idioma? (You don't speak my language?)
SARAH
Un poco. (A little)
RANDOLFO
Then you understand what I said.
SARAH
Hello - beautiful... Sunrise?
RANDOLFO
Casi (Almost)... For it is like a sunrise.
END SCENE WITHIN
Sarah is smiling to herself.
GEMMA
So what did he call you - this Randolfo.
SARAH
A word I didn't understand.
GEMMA
A pleasant word?
SARAH
Sonrisa (Smile).
GEMMA
What does it mean?
SARAH
Smile.
GEMMA
He called  you smile?
SARAH
Si.
GEMMA
Is that why you were smiling?
SARAH
I'm not sure that I was...
GEMMA
Just now. // Sonrisa. That's a nice word.
SARAH
Randolfo wouldn't say anything unpleasant. Why would he?
SCENE WITHIN
Pete enters. He is English looking with a pale complexion and addresses Gemma.
PETE
There you are - you daft twat.
Gemma turns.
Christ. I'm sorry - I thought you were someone else.
GEMMA
Who? Your mother?
PETE
It's not as bad as it sounds.
GEMMA
How is it supposed to sound? A term of endearment?
PETE
I wouldn't go that far. But it was meant without malice. In your case - non at all.
GEMMA
That's comforting to know. Given you don't know me. I certainly don't know you.
Pete looks at Gemma as if captivated.
Hello.
PETE
Sorry.
GEMMA
Have we met?
PETE
No. I don't think so.
GEMMA
Neither do I. I would have remembered.
PETE
Look - I'm really sorry for what happened - just now. I definitely shouldn't have said what I did.
GEMMA
To anyone.
PETE
I agree. It was a major screw up on my part.
GEMMA
So who was it meant for?
Pete hesitates.
It doesn't matter. It's non of my business.
PETE
Let me make it up to you.
GEMMA
You've apologised.
PETE
Still - there must be something I can do.
GEMMA
You did. You looked as if you meant it.
PETE
Of course I meant it.
GEMMA
That's sufficient.
Pete refuses to take no and remains standing.
I suppose you could say something pleasant.
PETE
Let me buy you a drink.
Gemma hesitates.
You're meeting someone?
GEMMA
No... 
PETE
You have to be somewhere?
GEMMA
I don't even know your name.
PETE
Pete. And yours?
GEMMA
Gemma.
PETE
I have a cousin called Gemma.
GEMMA
Cousin?
PETE
I haven't seen her for ages. She must be quite big by now. So - Gemma - what will it be? To drink?
GEMMA
What are you having?
PETE
Beer probably.
GEMMA
No...
PETE
Wine?
GEMMA
Fine.
PETE
Red - white?
GEMMA
Red.
PETE
I'll be back in a tick. Gemma. You wont go away?
GEMMA
No.
He exits.
END SCENE WITHIN
SARAH
There's really no need for it, is there?
GEMMA
For what?
SARAH
Rudeness.
GEMMA
No. Still one can't read too much into first impressions. How do you know it was directed at you? He might just have happened to be facing your way.
SARAH
You're suggesting Randolfo didn't mean it?
GEMMA
Not Randolfo. I'm sure what he said was...
SARAH
Genuine. It was. You can tell when someone's lying? They're afraid to look you in the eye for a start.
GEMMA
Or if they do - they appear restless.
SARAH
His gaze was still - when he looked into mine. Then Randolfo it that kind of man.
GEMMA
Calm?
SARAH
You need to be. If you're to be attentive to the small things that really matter.
Pause as they drink their coffees.
GEMMA
I told you about our first meeting, didn't I?
SARAH
With Peter? Yes. The whole occasion sounded most convivial. It must have been - given you ended up marrying him.
GEMMA
Which only goes to prove one shouldn't always jump to assumptions.
SARAH
Was I?...
GEMMA
No... Not you. Only it wasn't quite as... What's the word? You used it just now.
SARAH
Convivial.
GEMMA
Convivial - yes. Then to be fair our first meeting wasn't planned as date - as such. It was more an encounter.
SARAH
Physical?
GEMMA
No... Nothing like that. An exchange of words. If I were brutally honest - when I saw Pete my first thoughts were - this guy's a complete and utter toss pot. Or something similar.
SARAH
Until you got to know him?
GEMMA
His manner - yes. That's why I understand perfectly when you say you and Pete have failed to see eye to eye.
SARAH
Perhaps because that's all I do see. At least the times we've been together - in the same room.
GEMMA
Sorry - what's that meant to mean?
SARAH
Him constantly looking me over - from top to bottom. // You don't believe me?
GEMMA
Well… You are an attractive woman - Sarah.
SARAH
That makes it acceptable? Your husband visually undressing me?
GEMMA
No...
SARAH
I'm glad you agree.
GEMMA
I'm sure he's not doing it intentionally. I know Pete respects you.
SARAH
So it's all perfectly natural - part of his so called  'manner' - with which I've yet to become acquainted.
GEMMA
I'm not trying to defend my husband's actions - and it's not as if I don't know. Then Pete's always shown an interest in women. If not always in this one. Though I did read recently - I can't remember where - in certain Latin American countries - such attention is regarded as a form of flattery.
SARAH
What are you saying? It's fine for a man to ogle a woman?
GEMMA
I'm saying that over there - they see it as a token of respect.
SARAH
Who does? The man or the woman?
GEMMA
Both - I imagine.
SARAH
Gemma - we're not in Latin America. Were in England.
GEMMA
And Pete isn't you're regular Latin lover - that's true. Then they don't wear much to begin with - do they? By way of clothes.
SARAH
What's that got to do with it?
GEMMA
The weather - I imagine. What I'm really trying to say Sarah is - it doesn't bother me. Of course it bothers me that it's you. You're a friend. But it doesn't bother me - as it does you. If you see what I mean.
SARAH
But it should. He's your husband.
GEMMA
You're saying it's - what? Unnatural?
SARAH
I think so...
GEMMA
That's where we disagree. In fact I think you'll find it's perfectly natural. At least among your normal full bloodied male types - which Pete definitely is. I haven't met - this Randolfo - but who's to say he didn't give you the once up and down - maybe twice - before so graciously introducing himself. He's Spanish, after all.
SARAH
Meaning?
GEMMA
Don't they have Latin in them? He commented on your smile - so he must have been observing you.
SARAH
I'm not exactly sure what you're tying to infer - but Randolfo is a little more subtle when it comes to such matters.
GEMMA
Even if his intentions are the same.
SARAH
How would you know what they are?
GEMMA
Sarah - I'd be the first to admit that Pete has his flaws - and he can be extremely coarse. However -  at least you know where you stand. Even if there are times you wish you didn't.
SARAH
Like the time I wish I wasn't standing in the same room?
GEMMA
I'm not condoning his behaviour. However - I don't think Pete's quite as bad as you make out.
SARAH
It's my imagination?
GEMMA
I didn't say that. Still - you might have a preconception.
SARAH
And the episode in the wine bar?
GEMMA
With the waitress?
SARAH
Is that what you term a preconception?
GEMMA
(Smiling) Probably closer to a conception the way you described it.
SARAH
I'm glad you see the funny side.
GEMMA
Only because I find the whole - conception pretty risible. More than risible - pathetic. In fact it was a miracle it didn't end what little was left (between us). The point is - I wasn't there.
SARAH
To witness it.
GEMMA
Thank god. // I don't about you - but I fancy something stronger.
SARAH
Not for me.
SCENE WITHIN
Pete enters carrying a glass of red wine and a beer. Initially Pete reacts as if Sarah isn't there.
PETE
Here we go. (Placing the wine before her)
GEMMA
What's this?
PETE
(Sitting) Pinot.
GEMMA
Noir.
PETE
Noir?
GEMMA
I asked for Grigio.
PETE
You asked for Pinot.
GEMMA
Pinot Grigio - Si.
PETE
See what? You said see.
GEMMA
Did I?
PETE
What's the difference?
GEMMA
Pinot Grigio is white.
PETE
I thought you wanted red.
GEMMA
I asked for Pinot Grigio - which happens to be white.
PETE
But you normally drink red.
GEMMA
Normally - yes. However - tonight I fancied a change.
PETE
Well I wish you'd let me know.
GEMMA
I did.
PETE
So what - you want me to get you white?
GEMMA
No. I'll do it (Getting up) I need to go that way. (Exiting with the wine)
PETE
Comes of asking a beer man to buy wine. Pinot Grigio... Noir... All the same to me. (He looks at Sarah and acknowledges by smiling, before looking her up and down) Cheers. (Sipping his beer before moving closer) Look - I know you think I'm a...
SARAH
(Retreating) What?
PETE
I don't know...
SARAH
Then you've no right to tell me what I'm thinking.
PETE
True. Then let me rephrase that...
SARAH
I'd rather you didn't. I'd rather you didn't say anything at all.
PETE
You prefer the silent type - is that it? I can be quiet. Come on, luv - you're all tense (Leaning toward her) We don't need pretend.
SARAH
That's what I'm doing - pretending?
PETE
Well...
SARAH
Do want me to prove it?
PETE
You don't have to do (that).
SARAH
(Jumping up) Then don't you ever do that again.
PETE
Do what?
SARAH
What you just did.
PETE
Keep you voice down.
SARAH
Why should I?
PETE
What did I do?
SARAH
Touch me.
PETE
Ssshhh. For christ's sake. I didn't touch you.
SARAH
You TOUCHED me.
PETE
If I did - it was by accident. Jesus! (Standing up)
END SCENE WITHIN
GEMMA
(Entering with a glass of white wine) Sure I can't tempt you? Sarah?
Sarah acknowledges her.
Sure?
SARAH
No.
GEMMA
(Sitting) You were lost?
SARAH
Probably.
GEMMA
Thinking about Randolfo?
SARAH
Yes.
GEMMA
Which no doubt makes you wonder even more - why it is I put up with him? Well I've asked myself that question quite frequently - believe it or not. You know the only credible answer I can come up with is... I must love him. I say 'must' because there is no conceivable reason why I would should - under normal circumstances. Whatever they are. I'm pretty sure he loves me. If I wasn't -or else I felt mine wasn't being reciprocated - to a sufficient degree - that would be an entirely different ball game. Then again I might be confusing love with need. Ours might be a relationship based on purely utilitarian values. But is that bad? Providing we both get what we want in the end. Of course that supposes we know what that is. I'm pretty sure I know what he wants. // Perhaps you can tell me.
SARAH
Him flirting with other women.
GEMMA
I'm no longer concerned about him.
SARAH
What you want?
GEMMA
It sounds like you've come pretty close.
SARAH
Randolfo.
GEMMA
Is it a dream come true? // You're looking at me disapprovingly.
SARAH
Dream or not - it still bothers me that you can simply sit there and turn a blind eye.
GEMMA
To my husband's indiscretions. You think he's up to it at this moment? It might explain why he's late.
SARAH
And the way you can be so glib about it.
GEMMA
And how do you propose I should be? Screaming and tearing my hair out? Throwing tantrums - cutting up his clothes? I'd love to be able to laugh it off. As it is I think I'm doing pretty well to shrug it off. (Smiling)
SARAH
What?
GEMMA
While I'm shrugging - he's shagging.
SARAH
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
GEMMA
Sarah... You and I are different.
SARAH
Are we?
GEMMA
You're an idealist - for a start.
SARAH
Meaning - I have dreams? While you have to what - see to believe? Obviously - if you can so easily dismiss what happened with that waitress.
GEMMA
I'm not dismissing it. Of course - if I were to catch him in the act - he'd be straight out on his sorry arse. Pete knows that.
SARAH
Until then - it's my dream? My words count for nothing? That's what you're saying. You don't believe me. Or is it rather - you don't want to believe me.
GEMMA
Why are we talking about him anyway? I didn't come here to talk about my husband. I came here to talk about your holiday. I want to hear about you and  this - Randolfo. It all sounds so romantic. The fact you couldn't understand everything he was saying.
SARAH
I didn't have to.
GEMMA
Then words aren't everything. I've always thought it sounds much more romantic in a another language.  Love. Sometimes when I watch those foreign films - from Spain or France - I listen to the dialogue then quickly read the English underneath. More often than not I wish I hadn't. // Randolfo is romantic?
SARAH
Poetic. His English is excellent too.
GEMMA
I find a little poetry can go a long way - providing it's appropriate. Rather like flowers. Not that I've had many men singing my praises - or bringing me flowers for that matter. // So when did you first notice him?
SARAH
I'm not certain I did.
GEMMA
He noticed you?
SARAH
Looked me up and down?
GEMMA
I'm sure he didn't.
SARAH
There's a small alcove - tucked away - overlooking a garden with a fountain. I liked to sit there in the evenings and read my book.
SCENE WITHIN
Randolfo enters and watches her for a moment.
RANDOLFO
Hola, hermosa sonrisa. (Hello, beautiful smile)
SARAH
Sorry. Are you talking to me?
RANDOLFO
I see no one else. Usted no habla mi idioma? (You don't speak my language?)
SARAH
Un poco. (A little)
RANDOLFO
Then you understand what I said.
SARAH
Hello - beautiful... Sunrise?
RANDOLFO
Casi (Almost)... For it is like a sunrise... Forgive me disturbing your silence - but I couldn't help but observe you are still alone. Por supuesto, si lo prefiere dejo. (Of course, if you prefer I leave)
SARAH
No. (Slowly) No es la interrupción (No. You're not interrupting).
RANDOLFO
Buen. ¿puede I (May I?) (Sitting down) You have located the best spot. Here you have the music from the fountain - and the cooling breeze...
SARAH
Is it not yours? This spot.
RANDOLFO
No. It's for - Todos los amantes de la belleza (All the lovers of beauty). And if you're thinking - I do not own this hotel.
They sit in silence listening to the fountain.
You are on holiday?
SARAH:
Yes. And you?
RANDOLFO:
Travelling between... Or don't you say 'through'?
SARAH:
Your work?
RANDOLFO:
My work - my life. Then I am - siempre viajando (always travelling)
SARAH:
Are you an artist?
RANDOLFO:
Artist. In what meaning? Am I looking to transform the mundano (mundane) with the sublime? Then si. I try - and succeed - de vez en cuando. (From time to time) ¿y tú? (And you) What do you like to do? 
SARAH:
(Hesitating) Me...
RANDOLFO:
Leer?
SARAH:
This (referring to the book) Si.
RANDOLFO:
Yo también (Me too). Caras. (Faces)
SARAH:
Caras?
RANDOLFO:
Hermosa sonrisa.
SARAH:
Caras.
RANDOLFO:
(Standing) Ahora usted debe excusarme (Now you must excuse me) - I have interrupted far too long.
SARAH:
I don't mind...
RANDOLFO:
Yo tampoco. (Me neither) Desafortunadamente (Unfortunately) I have a prior... Compromiso (engagement). Señorita. (kissing her hand)
END SCENE WITHIN 
Sound: Gemma's mobile phone. 
Randolfo exits.
GEMMA:
That will be Pete to say he's running late. (Taking out her mobile and answering) Hi... Where are you? ... You are... The usual place... (Hanging up) Typical - for once he's on time. I really don't want to... Sarah?
SARAH:
Si.
GEMMA:
I'm going to have to go. (Rising)
SARAH:
Yo también... Me too.
GEMMA:
Just as it was getting interesting too. (Starting to put on her coat) You will keep in touch, wont you? 
SARAH:
Yes... Of course.
GEMMA:
With Randolfo?
SARAH:
Randolfo. 
GEMMA:
What? He's already in a relationship?
SARAH
Well…
GEMMA
Married?
SARAH:
He didn't say.
GEMMA:
But you suspect it's serious? At least he told you. (Finishing putting on her coat) I'll give you a call sometime soon, how's that? Oh Sarah - it's wonderful to see you. (Embracing her) Bye.
Sarah steps back - in effect leaving the scene. Gemma watches her go giving a discreet wave. Pete enters and pauses when he sees her waving.
(Sotto) Everything will turn out for best. It usually does. (Standing in thought)
PETE
There you are - I've been waiting...
Gemma doesn't respond.
Gemma - luv?
GEMMA
It's you.
PETE
Who do you think?... (Looking in the direction she's looking slightly confused)
GEMMA
Something the matter?
PETE
No... Only I'm parked on double yellows.
GEMMA
I'm ready. (Giving him a cursory smile and crossing to exit)
Pete follows her and they both exit.
###
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Author's Note
Please remember plays are not written to be read but performed. Even though this e-script is free, if you subsequently wish to put on a performance of this play, either professional or amateur, you will need the permission of the author and copyright owner. Information on performance rights can be found at the author's Web site. The author also welcomes any feedback you might have.
* * * * *
About the Author
Closely involved with theatre all his life,  Steven trained at Guildhall School of Music and Drama in Stage Management and Technical Theatre. He went on to spend several years working in theatre publicity, while continuing to write plays and occasionally directing. If you are interested in reading more of Steven's work, please visit these links:
Author's Web site: www.stevenayckbourn.com
Author at Smashwords.com