The Watchers
Book 1: The Watchers Series
By: Lynnie Purcell

Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 Lynnie Purcell

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Chapter 1


The sky behind us rippled angrily with dark thunderheads as we raced toward the blue horizon.  Despite the darkness chasing us and the beauty of clear skies to the front, I was upset. My sour mood, especially my sour expression, did not go unnoticed. Ellen, my mom – though I was seriously considering giving her up for adoption – glanced over at me from where she was driving.
“Clare, didn’t your mother ever tell you that if you make an ugly face, it’ll freeze that way?” she asked, breaking the heavy silence between us.
“No,” I said, “you have better sense than that…I mean, really, how would my face freeze unless we were in Antarctica? Even then, I’m sure something would fall off before my expression would freeze. The idea, the mere thought, of a bad expression freezing is more ridiculous than this ridiculous move.”
Thinking I was being silly, she started playing with the radio of our car, flicking between stations erratically in search of one that was actually playing music. Beyond her, the trees, which had been a border to the small two-lane road for the past hour, gave way to the first vestiges of humanity. Car lots and burger joints sped past us in a blur, their bright colors contrasting to the brown of the forest surrounding them. I watched her play with the radio, trying not to look at the rundown buildings and cow pastures beyond us.
“I thought you weren’t holding a grudge about moving,” she said after a moment, finally giving up on the radio and her attempts at cheering me up.
“I’m not holding a grudge…I’m profoundly irritated. There’s a difference.”
“I’ll just have to owe you one,” she said.
“A very big one,” I muttered darkly.
“It’s not like we haven’t moved before,” she retorted, the dimples in her cheeks disappearing with her frown.
That was the understatement of the year. We had moved so many times in my life that I referred to our station wagon as ‘the caravan’ and to Ellen and me as ‘the roving gypsies.’ Before, we had always moved from one city to another, jumping from coast to coast like jack rabbits, never settling in one place for longer than two years. Our mainstay were cities and towns large enough to get lost in if we wanted to, which we did. It was how we hid. Even though that didn’t sound like a very appealing way to live, I had grown accustomed to alleyways and rooftops of cities, to the ebb and flow of the crowds, and the rhythm of places like New York, Chicago, or L.A. It was home.
Another long row of thick trees and even thicker undergrowth momentarily dominated the landscape, the car lots and burger joints disappearing behind us. A person could get lost here as well, but only if they took a long, blindfolded, walk in the woods.
“This isn’t the same,” I said.
“I know,” she agreed quietly.
We’d been over this several times since she had told me we were moving. She understood how it felt to be here more than I did. She knew how it felt to hate the place we were headed toward.
She turned to me, her eyes wide and full of hurt. “Trust me?”
I sighed and rubbed at my forehead thoughtfully, the scowl disappearing.
“I trust you, Mom. It’s just…” I trailed off, thinking about the real reason for my irritation.
Tomorrow, I would be forced into the tiny, miniscule, thing they called a high school here. While I was certainly used to first days – going through five public high schools in the last three years meant the stares, the questions, the not fitting in were second nature to me – I’d never been to a school like this one. Ellen called her old school ‘quaint.’ I called it hell.
The clouds, which had been trailing us dolefully since our entry into North Carolina, thickened, hurrying us along as the trees gave way to the first row of brick buildings of the deserted downtown.  I looked at the cheerfully quaint buildings, with their cheerfully quaint awnings as we passed and was suddenly glad for the clouds. They were perfectly dark, a contrast to the frightening cheerfulness of the awnings and the buildings.
“Oh! I love this one!” Ellen exclaimed suddenly, startling me out of my dark thoughts.
She turned the radio up louder at the sound of Stevie Nicks belting out throaty lyrics. A smile lighting her face, she started singing along and dancing in her seat, already forgetting about our argument. Singing happily, one arm flailing dangerously around the small space as she danced, she made a right on to a small road packed with cars.
“Sings a song sounds like she’s singing whoo whoo whoo…”
I laughed at her despite myself, her natural cheerfulness bubbling over and filling the car with good humor. Ellen’s happiness was irrepressible. Wanting to be a part of her joy, even for an instant, I started singing along. Smiling at me in encouragement – glad I had stopped scowling – Ellen made another turn on to a smaller dead-end road overflowing with parked cars. As she slowed down to avoid hitting the cars, I looked at the houses that lined both sides of the cluttered road.
The houses were old and stately, and looked as if they had been around forever and would continue to exist when everything else on the Earth was gone. Large, leafless, trees crowded the grassy yards, adding to the charm and stateliness of the houses. Even though the grass was brown with winter, I could tell that the yards were well-loved and manicured. I wondered how the houses would look in the spring or summer; if the trees shaded everything, creating a natural tunnel of green across the road, or if the empty flower boxes were a riot of color and heady scents.
“And the days go by…like a strand in the wind…in a web that is my own…”
I stopped singing as we pulled to a slow stop in front of a gothic-style white house set back from the road and away from the other houses. It was the last house on the dead-end road and was completely bordered by forest to the left and back. The house was larger than I had thought, with sharp angles and painted eaves accentuating the gothic style of it. I stared in amazement, not able to wrap my brain around the idea that this house, of all houses, was really ours. It was something out of a dream.
“But the moment that I first laid eyes on him… all alone on the edge of seventeen…”
“Is this it?” I asked over the song.
Ellen turned the radio down. Her eyes moved over the white house, the many windows, the screened-in porch, even the stray cobwebs along the porch, as a thousand memories of growing up flooded into her brain.
“Yeah, this was your grandparents’ house.” Her hands moved to turn off the ignition. “Our home,” she whispered softly, as if she couldn’t believe the words she was saying.
Home. I couldn’t believe it either – it was such a foreign word to my gypsy nature – but I knew the word had a different connotation for her. This was the house she had been born in, the house she had grown up in, the house where she had experienced all her formative memories. It was the place she would always consider her original home, no matter what city we ended up in. I envied her that.
Her home wasn’t just a place of fond memories, though. It was also the home she had run away from at fifteen. No one thought she would make it two months after she left, but she hadn’t touched foot here in almost eighteen years. Her parents hadn’t talked to her since her disappearance, not even when, two years later, she had called to tell them they were grandparents of a baby girl. It took a family friend and three phone calls to tell them about their granddaughter. The fact that someone outside the family knew just made it worse. They never forgave Ellen. I don’t know if they ever forgave me – I’d never met them.
Why did they leave it to me? They couldn’t have forgiven me, I heard Ellen say very softly, mirroring my thoughts.
I looked over at her, curious about her words for multiple reasons.  Had she really said anything, or was it the voices in my head again? She had tears in her eyes, though her face didn’t give me any hints to if she had said the words aloud or not.
“Are you okay?” I asked softly, putting my hand on hers.
She wiped away the tears with a quick hand. “Just old memories….I can’t believe they left it to me after all this time. I thought…I thought they hated me. But this….”
I patted her hand in comfort, trying to suppress my own feelings. I had just heard her thoughts again. I knew she hadn’t said the first part aloud. Plus, she had sounded different, the way people sounded in their thoughts. It was something I was still trying to come to grips with.
Her physical voice was stronger, less echoed but confused, as she spoke again. “I mean, how did they even know where we were, Clare?”
I could only shrug in response. I didn’t understand it either. She hadn’t told her parents what city she was in, hadn’t tried to contact them since she had told them about me, yet her father had left her the house in his will. It had come as a total shock when their lawyer, an old friend of Ellen’s from school, had tracked us down to tell us her dad had died and had left her the house, the money, everything. She had stayed away for two months, on edge and unsure of what to do, a part of her wanting to come back, another part terrified to. Thinking about it, I silently promised myself to not scowl again in front of her. She was going through enough without my childishness added on top.
Collecting her thoughts, she said seriously, as if she thought she could will her promise into being, “I promise it’ll be different this time, Clare. It feels different, like we’re meant to be here, like we’re meant to stay, you know?”
I resisted the urge to laugh, knowing she was being sincere. Ellen put a lot of stock in her feelings. She relied on them more than she did her brain. Even when her brain was telling her the logical thing to do, she went with her gut instinct without hesitation. It was maddening. I loved her for it.
“Sure, Mom,” I agreed easily.
She wiped the last of the tears away and glanced at the old house again, her eyes uncertain. Shifting the keys in her hands, she turned to the back seat full of our belongings, then back to the house. She didn’t move to get out of the car and I didn’t have to be a mind reader to know she was stalling.
I laughed at her. “Did you want to go inside? Or did we come to stare?”
“I’m scared to go in,” she admitted.
“I know…I’ll be right here,” I promised.
She nodded and inhaled a deep, calming breath. I turned and shoved at the passenger door – having to throw all of my weight against the rusty door before it budged – and stepped over the curb. I automatically pulled my leather jacket tighter around my shoulders, not expecting the way the wind cut through me. New York had been cold in the winter, but this cold was deeper, bone chilling, like an icy knife tearing into flesh and bone. It would be something else I would have to adapt to.
Shivering, my breath curling up to the heavens in response to the cold, I turned to wait for Ellen. As I did, I noticed several faces peeking out at us from the houses up the street. I tried to return their stares, to show them I didn’t appreciate the gawking, but they melted out of sight when they noticed me looking. The occasional twitch of a curtain betrayed my audience as they switched to a more covert form of surveillance. I felt the scowl returning despite my promise to keep it at bay. I hated being spied on.
Ellen joined me quietly, her eyes not straying from the house once; not noticing the curious eyes on both of us. I let her lead the way up the path and resisted the urge to turn back and return the stares. She stepped absently up the broad steps as if they were old friends and opened the door to the screened-in porch with practiced movement.
Just as absorbed by her thoughts as she was, I looked around the small porch we had walked up to. Despite not wanting to get attached – we would move again soon enough – I couldn’t help but love the small swing and the wooden rocking chairs, which rocked slightly in time to the wind. The attraction to the swing and chairs was amplified by the fact that this place, this house, was a part of Ellen’s life I had never gotten to share with her. It was like walking into one of her memories.
I turned at the sound of keys rattling; they were loud even over the wind that was blowing crisp air around us in fitful gusts. Ellen’s hands were shaking so badly she was having trouble getting the silver key in the lock.
Taking pity on her, I took the keys and put the proper one in the lock for her, offering a smile for courage. She gave me a grateful look and took a second to stop her trembling. With another deep breath, she turned the heavy latch and pushed the door open slowly, as if she expected someone to jump out at her and yell “boo!” Each step she took on the wood floor was as if she was threading her way through a minefield, her sneakered feet tentative and unsure. A sudden roll of thunder from behind us made her jump, freezing her momentarily in place. When she was sure it was safe, she started walking again, and finally crossed the threshold of her childhood home.
I followed her in quickly and shut the door behind me, cutting off the cool wind before it disturbed the peace of the inside.
The bright, happy-looking interior was a surprise. From my vague impressions of my grandparents, whom Ellen didn’t talk about very often, I had thought the whole place would be decorated in grey and black, to reflect their unforgiving and unbending natures. Perhaps the decorator had not always been so unforgiving. Or had different hands decorated the room?
On the left of the front door was the living room. The furniture, though bright and clean, was old and mismatched, collected piecemeal through years of hand-me-downs. Though antiques, the furniture was in perfect condition; a little too perfect. The room felt neurotically decorated, as if all the furniture had been arranged until it was in the perfect spot.
Another archway led off from the living room, but I couldn’t see anything beyond where I was standing. I figured it was the dining room. Wide, wooden stairs that bridged the first and second stories were directly in front of me and separated the living room from a narrow hallway on the right side of the front door. The hall, which followed the length of the living room on the opposite side of the stairs, had two doorways along the right side. The first entrance was shut off by a heavy wooden door, but the second was broad and open and, from what I could tell, led into a bright, airy kitchen.
My eyes roved around everything in a repeat, absorbing what I had missed. Despite it being beautiful, bright and elegant, everything having its proper place – line and form merging seamlessly – there was a definite air of neglect hanging around, like it hadn’t been lived in for years, rather than months. The cobwebs in the corners and the dust motes hanging in the air from our entrance, only added to this feeling.
With my mind on the décor, and the feelings that this place had been abandoned a long time ago, I followed the hall to check out the rest of the house, and almost ran into Ellen. She had stopped abruptly next to the kitchen door.
With one trembling hand, she touched the wall where a large photograph hung. I can’t believe they didn’t take this down, that was the year…
“You okay?” I asked.
I put a hand on her shoulder, not liking the tone of her thoughts, or the way she was trembling. Memories that correlated to the picture floated across my eyes, but they went by too fast for me to make sense of them. She turned to me and in her face I could see how painful it was for her to be in this beautiful, neglected, house.  Her pain was startling. “I’m fine!” she lied.
She suppressed the emotions I saw swimming in her eyes, but her thoughts betrayed her. Time in this house was the only thing that would make her ‘fine.’ As we looked at each other, a silent understanding of this fact created a bridge of understanding. Ending the moment, she grabbed my hand.
“Here!” With childish abandon, she started running down the hall, dragging me after her. Still holding on to me, she ran me up the stairs by the front door. Laughing at my laughter, she dragged me to the last door in a long hallway of doors. The upstairs was less open than the downstairs, but had a definite air of comfort the downstairs didn’t have. It felt more lived in and less like it had been abandoned.
The white door we had stopped in front of had stenciled flowers along its edges and worn places along the bottom from years of opening and shutting. It definitely looked well-loved.
Ellen released my hand and gestured grandly. “I promised you an awesome room as part of moving here….so, here it is.”
I opened the heavy door curiously and saw another set of stairs leading up, only these were narrow and dark. I gave her a skeptical look, remembering the promise she had made, not able to help the doubt that a bedroom could make up for this hiccup of a town.
“Go on!” She pushed me forward to get me moving.
Everything was dark wood – the slanted ceilings, the floors, even the trim around the windows, yet it was open and bright due to the large windows on either side of the long room. Heavy beams supported the angled ceiling, giving me plenty of headroom and adding to the sense of space. It was perfect. No. It was beyond perfect.
As I crossed the creaky floor, marveling at the architecture, a window seat running the length of the large windows urged me to sit down and enjoy the view it offered. Unable to resist, I leaned across the cushions – dust swirling in the air in response – and looked out the window. I spied a small backyard that was bordered by a forest of trees. It wasn’t the ocean, a city street, or a rooftop, but it would do.
I smiled, glad to be so high up, and sat down on the bench, so I could focus on the rest of the room. A few boxes were scattered around, but it was mostly empty, except for a large forgotten bed in the far corner, and a brick chimney, which was in the center of the room. Ellen went over to the bed and plopped down familiarly. The grey light filtering in from the dirty window opposite me cast strange shadows on her face. The pain was still etched in her round face, but she smiled, changing the darkness of the shadows dancing on her face.
“I hope you don’t mind using my old bed.” She patted it fondly causing another puff of dust to circle in the air.
“I don’t mind in the slightest.”
Like that mattered to me! I would have space – this room was larger than the entirety of our last apartment – and I would have privacy. While I didn’t mind being around Ellen, privacy was something I always enjoyed and craved – especially lately.
“Do you like it?”
Her thoughts rushed about the space in chaotic waves as she tried to focus on the present and suppress the past. One thought in particular caught my attention.  Please say it’s good, even if you hate it, I need something to be good for you here.
I smiled at her, genuinely pleased that I didn’t have to stretch the truth. “I love it. It almost makes up for moving.” I raised an eyebrow at her. “Almost.”
She jumped off the bed, her good humor back. “I’m glad!” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Almost.” She hugged me fiercely and kissed my cheek, a silent ‘thank you’ for being there for her and for ending my reign of the scowl. “I guess we’d better get the things out of the car before it starts to rain,” she added.
“Yeah,” I agreed already moving to the stairs.
We passed through the house silently, and I felt Ellen slowly unwind, something about our conversation relaxing her. At the landing of the first floor, she was almost back to normal, normal enough to be worried about her stomach.
“I’m starving,” she said as we walked out the front door together. “What do you say to Chinese?”
“They have takeout here?” I asked skeptically.
“Of course they do. Just because this is a small town doesn’t mean it’s archaic!”
I turned and looked at her in disbelief. She laughed as she walked around me to unlock the trunk of the wagon. “Okay, okay! They have takeout, at least.”
“Great!”
As I unloaded the car, and Ellen talked in my ear to keep my thoughts off tomorrow, I could feel the neighbors’ eyes on me again, following my every movement. I didn’t have to stretch my imagination very far to wonder what these steadfast, unchanging, country folk thought of the strange looking Punk girl moving in next door. I knew for a fact what they were thinking. I sighed and lugged another bag onto my shoulder, thinking that in any other town I would be invisible.
After I finished piling everything into the living room, Ellen ordered Chinese food as promised and we put on the Chiller Channel to “Evil Dead,” one of our favorite movies.  We laughed over the horrendous special effects and made fun of the actors as we ate our better-than-expected food.
When we finished dinner, we started the process of unpacking and cleaning. It would take weeks, really, to make this place feel like a home again, but after a couple hours of hard work, it began to look like a real house, rather than the forgotten memory of one.  The cobwebs and dust motes were gone, at least.
After I had arranged my room with some spare furniture from downstairs, and cleaned off the dirty windows, I went to the window seat and looked out into the darkness. Ellen’s thoughts were dimmed by the floor separating us, and, for the first time in hours, I had a reprieve from my curse.
I was just starting to relax, managing to forget about my anxiety for tomorrow, when I heard a much different thought than Ellen’s. It was rough, filled with excitement: She’s here! It worked!
I sat up, the strength of the voice alarming. I craned my neck to see below. Was someone trying to break into the house? Dark shadows cast swaying branches on the abandoned dark lawn. There was no one there.
Yet, the voice continued. Lady Cassandra will want to know…
The eager voice trailed away.
I waited for a moment, straining to hear more. The sudden silence was repressive. Strange…
I rubbed at the goose bumps on my arm and put my feet on the floor, adrenaline surging through me. Should I call the police? I laughed at the thought, and shook my head. And tell them what? That I heard a scary thought?
Searching for an answer in my large room, I caught sight of the alarm clock by my bed. My stomach sank around the weirdness of the thought I’d just heard. It was time for bed.
As I brushed my teeth in the small bathroom at the other end of the hall, I realized I wouldn’t get much sleep. It wasn’t a pleasant prospect to look forward to, but pacing around would only keep Ellen up. She had an important day tomorrow too. It was her first day at the law office where she would act as secretary for the same lawyer who had tracked us down to tell us about the will. His old secretary had quit during his search for us, and he had told Ellen the job was hers if she decided to move back. I had thought it funny he would hold a job for her, but the blush in her cheeks when I asked her about it was enough to let me know that Sam Lawson, lawyer to the people of King’s Cross, North Carolina, and Ellen had a longer history than I had originally thought.
I said goodnight to Ellen, trying to hide how upset I was about tomorrow, and went upstairs to dwell as quietly as I could.
I crawled into bed and listened to the sound of rain whooshing through the night air for a while. Here, at the apex of the house, the rain seemed very close, almost as if there were no walls separating me from the storm. I would never have admitted it to anyone, but it was a bit scary how the shadows stretched the length of the long room, how the trees made odd shapes on my walls, and how the rain, aided by the chilly wind, tore angrily into the side of the house. With the neglect I had noticed earlier, and the shadows that danced around my room, it felt as if I was in a haunted house. It didn’t help that Ellen was acting haunted by being here.
For the first time since driving into this tiny, God-forsaken town, I felt my emotions threatening to unravel and betray me. Not able to stand it, I threw off the covers and went over to the window seat. I figured that if I could see the trees that were casting shadows on my walls, I would calm down long enough to get some sleep. I didn’t hear any more strange thoughts coming from my lawn, just the rush of wind and popping of wood.
As I sat there looking over the swaying trees, my knees tight against my chest, I came to the resolution that I wouldn’t let this place, this town, beat me. I was stronger than that. 
I pressed my head against the frosted glass, not knowing what to expect but resolved in the knowledge that one way or another I would deal with it.
I always did.


Chapter 2


My night was miserable. When I finally got tired enough to fall asleep, I dreamed of getting to school late and kept going into the wrong classrooms. No one would tell me where I was supposed to be and all the other students stared at me, judging me with their cold, uncaring eyes. It was enough to make anyone wake up in a cold sweat.
As I lingered over breakfast, chewing over the depressed thoughts as much as my cereal, Ellen came barreling into the kitchen, searching frantically through all the drawers. I whistled in appreciation when I saw her and grinned at her pink dress suit. Her messy brown hair was pulled back in an elegant bun and I even detected a bit of makeup on her perfect face.
“You look hot, Mom!” I told her.
She laughed, preoccupied with whatever she was looking for. “I feel ridiculous!” She turned to me her wide, round eyes perplexed. “You haven’t seen my keys have you?”
“They’re in your jacket.” I paused, listening to her thoughts. “Your jacket is in the living room.”
“Thanks!” She hesitated on her way out of the kitchen. “Are you sure you don’t mind walking to school? It’s just that I have to be at the office pretty early…”
“I don’t mind,” I assured her for the millionth time.
She twisted her hands in anxiety. “You’re sure?”
“Yes!” I laughed.  “Go! You’re going to be late.”
“But…are you sure you remember how to get there?”
I gave her my best stern look. “Mom. I didn’t get lost in New York or L.A. I won’t get lost here…I’ll be fine.”
Outwardly, at least.
She smiled, not deceived in the slightest, and gave me wishes for a good first day before rushing out of the house. After she left, I washed my bowl in the sink, with extra care, trying to decide what to do with the time I had before school. I didn’t want to sit around the house waiting for it to be my time to go. I definitely didn’t want to be late and have my nightmare become a reality, but I didn’t want to get to school too early either. Trying to decide what to do, not liking any of my options, I walked out into the hallway and spotted the picture Ellen had been so affected by. Curious, welcoming the distraction, I stepped closer to examine it.
It was a colored photograph of a large group of people standing around the long table I had seen in the dining room. It looked like one of those Thanksgiving dinners I had seen on television. Ellen and I always ate out for Thanksgiving. Looking at the picture, I could tell why she was so against formal Thanksgivings. They had reminded her of home.
My eyes roamed across the people in the photograph in excited wonder. I could see my features in the faces. One woman had my heart shaped face – another had my high cheekbones. And one man, who was lurking in the corner trying not to be seen, looked like he had my button nose. I searched for my eyes, grey and stormy, but I didn’t see them in the mass of faces. All the people in the picture had the same eyes as Ellen – a dark, chocolate brown. I touched the picture, almost as affected as Ellen had been, but for a different reason. I knew the truth now. I knew that my eyes were my father’s eyes.
I had never met him – he had left before I had been born, and he had never tried to contact us – so I had no way of comparing our eyes. Ellen had never described him to me, and I felt awkward asking her questions about something that was obviously still painful for her. Besides, I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know.  Not only had he abandoned us, he had left knowing what my life would be like, what my curse was. He had left knowing how much danger Ellen and I would be in simply because I was alive. I resented him for that.
I moved down the hall to a large gilded mirror and looked at my reflection, wondering what else was his, hating the connection to him. I categorized my pale skin, my nose, and my dark hair, which I had styled in spikes at the front, trying to see similarities to a person I had never met.
No… I looked too much like the people in the photograph, except for the eyes. I squinted at the objects in question, wishing suddenly, despite my anger at him, that I knew the person who had given me the oval shape, the grey color. At least if I knew him, I would have answers; I would know more than I knew now.
I turned away from the mirror and the picture – which I now understood was my mother’s family, my family – and went upstairs to get my school things, coming to the conclusion that whatever the day of school threw at me, it couldn’t be worse than hating my own father for abandoning me, and in turn, hating that part of me that was his.
The light was dull over the purplish-blue horizon, casting everything into long shadows as I walked into the wind. I wrapped my jacket tighter as I stepped off the porch, wishing for the warmth of Savannah, our latest stopover. Even in the dim light from the rising sun, I could tell that there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was strange, so different from the boiling storm of yesterday.
I turned off our street, shivering slightly from the wind as I dwelt on my father. I couldn’t stop thinking about what else was his. Did I act like him? I knew I didn’t act like Ellen; she was too carefree, too emotional, and almost more organic in her actions than I was. I thought too much. I internalized too much.
I rounded the corner onto the main street through town, which coincidentally enough was called ‘Main Street,’ and the stately houses faded abruptly into the brick buildings that made up downtown. The shops were dark and silent; the streets empty save for the occasional car. My thoughts as dark as the morning, I trudged up a hearty hill in search of the school.
Couldn’t he at least have shown up once to explain the things Ellen couldn’t? Couldn’t he have written me a note to tell me why I was a freak, or explain why he had left? Couldn’t he have explained why he let me be born? Couldn’t he have told me one thing? I gnawed on my lip, my temper starting to rise a little. Why was that too much to ask?
Spotting a large obvious sign on the crest of another hill that read “King’s Cross High School: Go Saints!” I bumped back down to earth. I pushed the anger aside for the moment as the irony of that sign hit me. Saints? Of what?
Chuckling sarcastically, I looked across the short, sloping lawn to the large trees, which flanked either side of the brick buildings, then to the school itself. The main building, the largest of the three buildings, was huge, its façade stately and positively reeking with southern charm. Large white columns, which were spaced at regular intervals, beckoned unwitting students inside.
Resigned to my fate, the feeling of martyrdom settling into my gut, I walked up the grassy slope and crossed the lawn. I shoved the large door open with an unhappy grunt and looked around the oppressive, uniform, and deserted corridor. I was instantly unsure of where to go, my dream haunting my footsteps. Luckily, I saw the sign. As I followed bold arrows with the words ‘Main Office’ above them, I wondered idly why a school this size would have signs while my last school, which was three times bigger, hadn’t.
I stopped when the arrows ran out at a small, cluttered office with a glass door and glass windows. A large young woman, with curly black hair, was at the large counter, which cut the room in half. Before I could open the door, I heard a muffled sound through the glass. Hearing people’s thoughts was new to me, but I had learned the hard way that when I heard a person’s thoughts outside of a room it meant that person was loud and obnoxious. I took a deep breath before opening the door, steeling myself for the onslaught.
She looked up from the papers she was going through as I stepped inside and I saw her expression transform from boredom to curiosity. What in the world is she wearing on her head? Oh, goodness, that’s her hair! I heard. “Can I help you, dear?” Her voice was light and nasal, echoing the sound of her thoughts.
“Um, yeah…” I need a comb, so I can make sure you’re happy with my hair. “My name is Clare Michaels…”
Oh, God, that’s Ellen’s daughter! They don’t look a bit alike. Well, maybe a little in the shape of the face. I wonder who the father is? It serves her right for getting knocked up. Tramp. I can’t believe I was ever jealous of her!
None of this showed on her face.
“Of course!” she said. Her smile became fixed as she smoothed her blue jean jumper. “How’s your mother? I went to school with her, you know.” If you could call hating someone with a fiery passion, going to school with them, she tacked on spitefully.  She looked down and started searching through a pile of papers on the counter.
“She’s really great,” I answered. “Amazing, even.”
“Good…good” She grabbed a set of papers from the bottom of the pile and handed them to me. “Here’s your schedule. The rooms are listed next to the corresponding class, but if you have any trouble finding anything, just ask one of the teachers.”
I nodded, knowing even if I didn’t have a clue where I was going, I wouldn’t ask.
She pointed to another paper in the stack she’d just handed me. “Make sure you get all of your teachers to sign this for attendance purposes, and bring it back to me at the end of the day.” She rattled the three other papers in my hands. “And these are for your mom to sign.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
I turned to leave, wanting to get away from her nasty thoughts about my mom, and her eyes, which were watching my every movement, but she stopped me.
“Tell your mom Heather Thomas, I mean,” a false little giggle, “Heather Smith says ‘hi,’” she said in a sweet tone that didn’t quite match the look on her face. Oh, I cannot wait to tell everyone what this one looks like! No one will believe it! I hope she tells Ellen about my name change! She will be so jealous that I got married, to an ex-boyfriend of hers no less!
“I will,” I replied.
“Have a good day!” she called as I slipped out the door and out of her line of sight.
Ha!
I found a small bench hidden by a recessed wall and sat so I could go over my schedule without being bothered by anyone, especially an overly-jealous Heather Smith, or Thomas, or whatever. Trying to clear her nasty thoughts from my head, I noticed my first class was gym. Irritation swirled up around the gloomy feelings. I wasn’t sure what imbecile thought of forcing people into gym class first thing in the morning, but whoever it was, they were sadistic – or perhaps they had a profound hatred of teenagers. Or, perhaps, they were both. Not that I minded exercise, it was just the idea of having to exercise at eight in the morning in those stupid clothes they called a uniform. It was torture.
Disgusted, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying not to think about the coming hours, but feeling that having gym first thing was a bad omen. Finally, when I felt more composed – which is to say, not like my brain was going to explode – I got up and made my way to the back of the building where, logically, I figured the gym would be.
The halls had filled up with gossiping students during my sojourn on the bench. Kids crowded the halls as they talked to their friends. Several people did funny double takes when they saw me. The rest just stared. Slivers of excited thought ghosted after me as I searched for the gym, pounding into my brain like tiny, annoying hammers.
I turned around when the hall ended, thinking I might have passed the gym at some point. Unhelpfully, none of the thoughts I was overhearing were directions to the gym. Where were the magical signs when you needed them most?
“Hey!” a voice called in a pleasant song-like voice.
I turned at the sound and spotted a girl, who was leaning against the too-white wall as if she’d been there forever, smiling knowingly. I looked her over curiously. She was shorter than I was, but still tall, maybe 5’6” to my six feet, skinny, yet very curvy. She reminded me of pictures I’d seen of Marilyn Monroe, complete with the short, curly blonde hair, which framed her round face.
“You’re lost aren’t you?” she asked, laughter in her voice.
“Yep,” I admitted.
I listened for a moment, but her thoughts were really quiet and hard to hear over the excited buzz I was being subjected to. She laughed softly and held out her hand to me. “I’m Alex Lawson.”
I shook her hand, feeling strangely at ease. Maybe, it was because her face was so open and friendly, or maybe it was because she wasn’t staring at me like I’d invented humanity.
“And you must be Clare,” she said confidently.
“Must I?” I asked.
“If you want to be,” she said.
“I suppose…”
“I’m Sam Lawson’s daughter… you know… the lawyer your mom is working for?” She seems cool. Dad did say that Ellen was really nice. I bet they’re a lot alike.
Ah. There she was.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.  “I didn’t realize he had a daughter,” I tacked on, wondering why Ellen hadn’t mentioned her. She had definitely mentioned Sam. A lot.
“Yeah, he keeps me in the basement most days,” she joked. I laughed, liking her humor. Smiling back she asked, “What class are you looking for?”
“Gym.”
She grabbed my arm, hooking her hand through my elbow with a natural, friendly gesture. “I’ll show you where it is.”
She steered me down the hallway, maneuvering us between gaggles of gossiping people who turned to stare again as we passed. As we walked, her body steering mine gently, she said, “Dad tells me that you’re from Savannah. I’m from Atlanta originally. We moved back a couple of years ago. My dad missed the country life too much.” She made a funny face. “At least that was his excuse. I think he just hated the Atlanta traffic.”
No wonder she was being so nice. She understood what it felt like to be the newcomer to this tiny town and quite possibly how it felt to be dragged here against her will.
“Yeah?”
“Yep. Have you ever been?”
I laughed dryly. “I don’t think there’s a major city in the United States I haven’t been to, or, at the very least, driven through.”
She smiled and started talking about the school and classes giving me pointers, knowing that I would appreciate them, not prying into my history. I was grateful. I didn’t feel up to explaining my gypsy nature quite yet. It was too early. Her bubbling voice talked us all the way through one set of doors, out the back of the building, through a covered walkway, to another set of large doors. At the second set of doors, she stopped and released my arm. “Well, here it is.”
“Thanks.”
She paused thoughtfully. “Don’t take today too seriously. It’ll be better tomorrow.” Surprised by her advice, I smiled. She smiled again, her dimples flashing into life. “Good luck!”
With a wave, she turned back the way we had come, a natural bounce in her step. I watched her walk away, impressed at her generosity, a part of me skeptical of her motives; too many false friends and liars in my past had me thinking her motives were not entirely genuine. Before she disappeared from sight, I heard a final thought: I hope she knows what’s in store for her today…
I did, too…
Pushing the massive metal door open, I saw the gym, which looked like every high school gym I had ever seen – bright, open, and strangely ominous. The teacher, a middle-aged man, who had the look of someone muscular gone to seed, stood in the middle of the floor tying up what appeared to be mesh for tennis courts. His moon face let me know that he had spent years indulging in both food and alcohol. Round, bloodshot eyes the color of mud looked at me dully. My first impression was of a very massive pig wearing a wig. I went to him, trying to get visions of Ms. Piggy out of my head, and gave him my name and the form for him to sign.
He gaped at me and I heard: No one said she was one of those Punk chicks… Damn, I need a drink. I think I’ll sneak one in at lunch. Donna would never have to know. Unless she catches me again…
He took the paper I was offering him and signed it with a sigh, longing for the bottle he had tucked away in his desk. He gave the form back to me and, in a tired, hopeless voice, pointed out where everything was. Mumbling to himself, he shuffled away to find me a uniform to change into. I watched him go, pity flooding my stomach as the thought that he had given up on life, on himself, a long time ago, permeated my brain.
When he came back, I took the uniform he offered me, and went to the girl’s locker room without comment. I changed slowly, not wanting to go back out where the other kids had already gathered on the bleachers talking and chattering with frightful teenage normalcy. Finally, feeling that I had stalled long enough, I stuffed my clothes and bag in a spare locker and walked out, dragging my feet every inch of the way.
As I crossed the floor, scanning the bleachers for a place to sit, I noticed particulars about the group for the first time. Most of the class of fourteen or so was gathered around four figures. It was obvious from the seating arrangement that the four teenagers in the middle were members of the ‘popular crowd.’ The four consisted of two boys and two girls. The girls were pretty in the typical, cookie-cutter way. One girl was blonde and lanky with high cheekbones and a pixy nose; the other girl was brunette and very petite, almost diminutive, and had similar bone structures in her face. The boys differed wildly.
While one fit the idea of typical, the other looked far from garden variety. The cookie-cutter boy was bulky and athletic. He had brown hair and a square jaw, which was balanced on his square face. I knew that if he weren’t in his gym uniform, he would definitely have a letterman’s jacket on, flaunting the school’s colors.  But it was the other boy, the non-cookie-cutter, whom I couldn’t stop looking at. He was talking to everyone in a clear voice, which echoed around the large space, and I felt a magic, a certain sense of presence the others could never have. After hearing him tell a rather simple, funny story to the crowd, I was convinced he could talk a bear into giving up its honey stash.
I stared, trying to understand how anyone could be so graceful in simply shifting their weight on metal bleachers, and he looked up. He met my stare with an intensity that was as breathtaking as it was startling. Could looks burn a person? I felt scorched.
I sat, hoping he wasn’t one of the popular kids prone to teasing for something as accidental as a stare. It was more than embarrassment for getting caught staring that had me on edge, though.  His eyes, green and full of some secret fire, had me actually feeling self-conscious about the way I looked, and I never worried about the way I looked. I shook my head to get rid of the vision of him, but I couldn’t. He was there, a shimmering mirage unwillingly lodged into my brain by the girls who were staring at him in brainless entrancement. Not able to help it, I looked at him through a girl’s eyes, more willing to look than I would ever admit aloud.
His face was angular, with a strong jaw line. He had black, messy hair, which made his snowy skin appear even paler. I wondered if the hair was a deliberate choice or if that was just the way it fell. He wasn’t my normal type, too preppy, too boy band-ish, but I had to agree with the others; he was beautiful.
There was something else about him, too. I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to place the curious knot of recognition in my stomach. It was as if I knew the curve of his face, the way he tapped impatiently on the bleachers. It was as if we had spent hours in conversation that no one but us could enjoy. I chuckled at the thought. That was as unlikely as me deciding to paint my fingernails pink.
A voice cut through my internal ogling, and I shut out the visions of him. “Hey! You’re Clare Michaels, right?”
I turned and saw the girl with long blonde hair lean forward out of the chattering crowd. Everyone stopped talking and turned to stare at me at the question. Over the sudden silence, I heard a rush of thoughts I couldn’t keep out, my temples pulsing in time to the assault.
The loudest thought was: I bet she’s killed people! Just look at her! Mom says that she’s lived all over the world. I bet she’s seen a lot. I bet she’s done a lot. I bet everyone would be jealous if she were my friend. It would give me an edge over the rest. And, I could totally pay back Michelle for thinking she’s better because her family owns half the town, take her down a notch.
“Last time I checked, I am,” I said knowing those thoughts had been the blonde girl’s. They matched her voice.
“I’m Jennifer.”
I looked away to keep from laughing. Just once, I’d like to meet someone who looked like her named Virginia or Evelyn. “Hi, Jennifer,” I said.
“Why don’t you sit up here with us?” she invited, patting the bleacher next to her in a way that turned the question into a command.
The boys, who were sitting to her left, shifted over to give me room, already figuring I wouldn’t say no. I looked at them for a second, wondering if I was being set up. It would be true to form. I shrugged and moved to sit next to the bulky, brown-haired boy, not caring if it was a set up. I’d lived through worse, and if I got this out of the way now they’d leave me alone later. It was better this way.
There was another surge of thought as I sat down:
She’s hot, despite her hair. I bet she’s been around. I wonder if she’s into football players.
My aunt knew her mom. I bet I could use that to get her to talk to me.
She’s so cool! I want a nose ring!
Everyone was excited about her?
I wonder if she really lived in China.
I guess it really is true that the children pay for the sin of the parents.
Startled, I tried to follow that last thought to its owner. I couldn’t be sure under the deluge, but it felt as if it was coming from a girl sitting outside the group. Everyone else’s eyes, while judgmental, were excited and curious. Hers were cold and distant – an impenetrable barrier of hardened emotions. I shivered and turned away, wondering if she really knew how true that thought was.
“This is Mark Sheldon.” Jennifer pointed to the bulky boy next to me as soon as I was seated. He winked slyly. “This is Michelle King.” She pointed to the girl on her other side, who nodded at me. “And that’s Daniel Adams.”
Mark leaned back so that I could follow Jennifer’s finger, which was pointing directly at Mr. Popularity. His eyes, which had been on the same girl I had been looking at, came back to mine, and I saw that they were cold as well, but it was a different kind of cold. It was a cold that was kept there to hide a raging, burning fire within.
He nodded once and flicked his eyes away towards the locker rooms, apparently already bored with the introductions.
No one else from the group seemed to merit an introduction as, in a voice laced with excitement, Jennifer started plying me with questions: where I was from, how I liked King’s Cross so far, where I went to school before, what kinds of things I was interested in…
The rest of my new classmates listened with fascinated wonder; even the kids who were sitting a little farther from the group, obviously not part of the ‘popular crowd,’ were quiet as they listened to this strange exchange.
The questions did little to settle my nerves. I felt as if I was being interviewed or cross-examined on the witness stand for a murder I didn’t commit. It was hard not to.
They all thought I was some sort of wild, crazy fiend, living on the outskirts of life; a rebel and a troublemaker, poised to set fire to the school on a whim. That was why they were all so interested in me and were hanging onto my answers like they were scripture.
How could I explain that not everyone in cities led adventurous, party going lives? How could I explain that not everyone who looks Punk is Punk? How could I explain that my life had been lived with the understanding that not being noticed was the best way not to get dead? How could I take away years of prejudice in one morning? It didn’t matter; I would let them think what they wanted. It didn’t mean they knew what, or who, I was.
Mr. Henley ambled out of his office and cut short the twenty questions with a blow from his oversized orange whistle. He called the roll and told us we would be playing tennis again – apparently, they had been playing it for a while – and that we should find partners to play against. I wasn’t shocked when my new acquaintances all had partners in seconds, leaving me to myself on the bleachers. Typical. Their interest in me only stretched as far as the entertainment I could provide them. At least it was something familiar in a day that already felt unfamiliar and foreign.
Mr. Henley noticed me as I watched the bustle of humanity below and ambled over. “No partner, eh?” he asked scratching his greasy brown hair. He looked over and his moon face turned sly. “Well, you can play against Daniel, then. You don’t mind do ya, Daniel?” Sorry, kid.
I looked over, wondering why Mr. Popularity hadn’t partnered with Mark, who was obviously his friend. I hadn’t noticed in the bustle of activity that Mark had partnered with another athletic type, who shared his mental capacity of none.
Daniel sighed audibly at the request, but when he answered, his tone was polite. “Of course not, Coach. I’d be happy to.”
I rolled my eyes at his hypocrisy and watched him descend to the floor, wishing I could sit the class out. He moved past me noiselessly, as if he was walking on air rather than hard metal, his face impassive. After a startled pause, I followed him, stomping down the bleachers like a whole herd of baby elephants, rejecting his silent grace.
I slowly followed as he walked to the net on the very end of the gym, farthest from the entrance, smiling at people as he passed. To me, he looked like a diplomat on the floor of Congress politicking for all he was worth.
When we reached our net, he bent down and grabbed a racket from the pile to hand to me. I stared at him with a frown, trying to understand…everything.
“What?” he asked as I took the racket.
I shrugged. “I just figured that you’d play with Mark. Isn’t that the law of the jungle?”
Was that too honest? Too blunt? Who cared? He was one of them.
He smirked, his smile not leaving his lips. “No one will play with me, not even Mark. One too many lost games.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, twirling the racket in my hands absently.
“Not all jungles are the same.”
It was my turn to smirk. Yeah. Right.
He walked around to the other side of the small court, winking at Jennifer and Michelle as he went. I set my stance, my temper flaring at the wink. I couldn’t tell for sure, but something about his tone and his actions had me thinking that he was being insincere. If there was one thing in this world that made me angry, it was posturing. And his insincerity went beyond the normal teenage posturing I was used to. Which just irritated me worse. I suddenly wanted to teach him a lesson.
Daniel bounced the ball on the floor once, and even over the sounds of people yelling and playing their own games, I could hear it hit. It was like an avalanche, or the beginning of something else.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Are you?” I retorted.
He planted his feet and smirked again, the cold in his eyes unwavering. For once, I was glad Ellen had thrown me into too many clubs to count over the years, in the hope I would find a niche; that I would fit in somewhere, anywhere. A desperate attempt at normalcy I knew would never work. But it served its own purpose. How was he to know that I had helped my school to state finals in tennis last year?
I smiled ruefully. That was before I had been asked to quit the team; to not return for next season. Most of them had started treating me like a second-class citizen when I – the freak loner – started winning all our practice matches. I had retaliated in admittedly juvenile ways, like the spiders in the captain’s locker. My attempts to expose her to the insects of Savannah had not been appreciated by the coach, to say the least.
Daniel nodded once in acknowledgement of my ready state and hit the ball in my direction. His serve was fast, surprising me, but I managed to hit it back to him with a swift backhand. His eyes widened in shock as he hit the ball back to me in reflex. The shock quickly melted into confusion as I slammed the ball back with a clean, well-aimed, hit.
I smirked at him, satisfied I had managed to knock him off his carefully balanced platform. My competitive nature helping me feel as if I had just won something, our eyes met across the court in a challenge. The expression on my face gave away my emotions. His eyes narrowed dangerously at my smirk and his own competitive glint sprung up in the coolness of his green eyes. He delivered another blistering hit, which actually hurt my wrist to return, but it wasn’t enough to stop me.
Hit. Return. Hit. Return.
The rest of the room dropped away as I focused on our game, needing every ounce of concentration I possessed. I’d never played against someone this good, not even the girls at state. He had skill. His eyes stayed narrowed in concentration, his swings getting progressively harder and faster, as he tested my limits and searched for a weakness. I was in a similar state of concentration, though I was certain I was more determined to win.
Hit. Return. Hit. Return.
Despite my wrist hurting from his serves, and knowing that I might just be outclassed, I wasn’t about to lose to him. I would break my wrist before I lost. I felt that if I won, I would prove something to him, to me, to this whole stinking town. It would be proof I could control something in my life, that this place would be a new beginning.
Hit. Return. Hit. Return.
Twenty minutes later, drenched in sweat from our intense game, I managed to surprise him. He sent the ball my way again, the glint in his cool eyes different now, almost like his shock had been replaced by enjoyment. I hit the ball back with all the force I could muster, a small, embarrassing yell escaping me. The ball slammed into the floor, just out of his long reach, then rolled beyond him, only stopping when it hit the white gym wall. It was the only point of the game.
There was a second of silence while I stood with my hands on my hips, panting like a dog, then whistles and cries of shock from the others echoed around the large space. Everyone had stopped their own games to watch us play; even Mr. Henley’s pig eyes were fixed on us in astonishment. I turned to Daniel to see what his reaction would be to our audience witnessing his defeat.
What had been the big deal? Why would no one play against him? He was fast with his returns, but not untowardly. I caught everything he’d sent me at least.  The bell rang, signaling the end of the period, as I stared at him. Everyone moved in the direction of the locker rooms, talking excitedly about our game, but I didn’t.
Daniel’s eyes were locked on mine with that same burning intensity, only now his eyes were filled with curiosity and amazement rather than a cool distance. The fire was no longer checked. Those eyes trapped me, locking my muscles; and my curiosity raged out of control again. As I watched, his bright eyes – suddenly the only thing that existed for me in the entire world – flashed an eerie black color. In the next instant, they flashed back to green.
My first, rational instinct was to think I’d imagined it, but all the hair on my neck was inexplicably standing on end. My eyes searched his in wonder, fascination and fear. How had he done that? I opened my mouth to ask the questions burning on my tongue, my curiosity showing on my face. His expression hardened as I did and he turned away. Ignoring me completely, he started talking to Michelle and Jennifer as they passed him on their way to the locker rooms. I watched him go, noticing that his long legs covered the distance quickly. Next to the two girls, he looked even more graceful than before.
What had just happened?


Chapter 3


Mark materialized at my side, so close our shoulders were touching. He noticed where I was looking in a glance. He excused the oddity of Daniel with a negligent hand wave. “Don’t mind him. He’s not used to losing, ’specially to a girl. I’m just glad he’s on our team…He’s the best quarterback we’ve had in years.”
I jerked out of my fascinated state and focused on him, embarrassed he had caught me gaping after Daniel as if I had never seen a person before. We started walking toward the locker rooms.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked.
“Yep.” He popped his ‘p’ in a way I knew he thought cool. He grinned and I heard: She definitely doesn’t mind football players then, I just wonder if she’s into pretty boys. Of course, Daniel does get all the attention… “Where’d you learn to play?” he asked as we reached the door to the locker rooms.
I pursed my lips at his thoughts, but answered as politely as I could. “I played for my school in Savannah.”
“Cool. What class do you have next?”
I had to focus around the distraction of the visions coming out of the boys’ locker room. Mostly-naked boys ran in front of my field of vision as they horsed off and changed with lots of macho banter. Before I could shut out the visions, I saw Daniel taking his things slowly out of his locker, not joining in with the conversation around him. “Uh…Algebra with McDonald.”
“Me too. I’ll walk you there.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, aware he was being nice because he thought I was promiscuous. I needed the directions, though.
In the dressing room, I changed slowly, trying to piece together an explanation for what I had seen, glad no one bothered me, though the whispers lingered. I knew a lot about strange things. I was a walking, talking, strange thing, but I had never heard of someone’s eyes turning completely black before. Beyond the shock at me beating him, that black stare was the second real emotion I’d seen on his face. It scared me. Despite how the others viewed him I knew, without knowing how I knew, that he was dangerous. But what kind of dangerous? My kind of dangerous?
When I walked out to the gym, I found Mark – who was now wearing the letterman jacket I had imagined him in – waiting for me on the bleachers. Smiling, he took my bag without asking, which was annoying, and we walked out the metal doors. We passed by Mr. Popularity and his harem of girls just outside the door. They were hard to miss. They took up most of the walkway. Daniel smiled at Mark, giving him a brief high-five, but he didn’t look at me at all. I rolled my eyes at him, but I kept walking, leaving him to the attention of his adoring flock.
Mark chattered at me the whole way to our next class, not noticing my distraction, not caring regardless; he was too busy trying to invent ways to get me interested in him. I let his voice wash over me without really listening to his words. Some things did leak through, despite my distraction, like that he was a native of King’s Cross, he played football – shocker – and his dad owned two of the three car lots in town.
When we finally made it to class, he left my side, unaware of his less-than-there audience, and took his seat in the middle of the small room. Aware again of all the stares being thrown my way, I went to the teacher to get my slip signed.
Mr. McDonald was nice. Preoccupied with the day’s lesson, he was still cordial as he signed my slip and handed me a textbook. He directed me to a seat, which, luckily, was in the back, away from Mark and all the staring faces. Mr. McDonald’s thoughts were the only ones not focused on my appearance; he didn’t even notice. He started talking to the class as I sat, his voice cutting off the various conversations around the room. He was good, throwing a lot of jokes into his lecture to keep his audience’s attention, knowing he would have even less focus than normal today. All the curious faces gradually melted away from me, and their thoughts turned to the lesson he was presenting. Laughter and his country-twanged voice echoed around the room, creating a constant state of noise and learning.
Relaxing a bit as the thoughts shifted away from me, I settled into my seat and let his voice fade into the background. Daniel’s black eyes and puzzling ways floated through my head again. Why was he suddenly a mystery I wanted to solve? The classroom faded entirely as my eyes switched to the windows facing the forest that bordered the entire back of the school, the questions circling around my head in endless uncertainty.
When the bell rang to signal the end of class, I jumped, having forgotten where I was. A girl with glasses and sharp eyes leaned over from her seat. She smiled shyly, as I gathered my things. “I’m Jane,” she introduced herself.  I don’t get why everyone is making such a fuss. I bet she hates all this attention. I know I would.
“Hi Jane.”
“What do you have next?”
I shook my head to get my brain working along school related lines. “Study Hall.”
“Would you like me to walk you there?” she asked picking up her books.
“That would be great.”
I picked up my bag, and we walked out of the classroom together. As soon as we made it to the hallway, she asked, “Where are you from originally?”
I answered her as best I could, thinking that despite the questions, these kids were some of the nicest I had encountered in all the schools I had been forced into. While a lot of the thoughts were judgmental and rude, many of them weren’t. It was as welcome as it was unexpected. Maybe, being here wouldn’t be as bad as my first morbid thought had proclaimed…Maybe.
The rest of the morning quickly fell into a pattern of questions from people who couldn’t stop staring, wildly differing thoughts as to whether I was scary or cool, and someone inevitably offering to walk me to my next class. I was grateful for the walks between classes – they kept my nightmare from becoming a reality – but the stares and the thoughts were definitely not on my awesome list.
Another boy, Davis, shared Spanish and Study Hall with me and walked with me between the two. He was quiet and nice; his thoughts less judgmental than most, yet somehow still impossibly full of stereotypes. At lunch, he offered to walk me to the cafeteria, an offer I accepted gratefully.
When we entered, my eyes were immediately drawn to a large group of people sitting at a table in the very center of the room; something that was a result of planning. It was obvious the group was used to being noticed.
I recognized Jennifer, Mark, and a few others from gym, as well as Alex, who seemed to be telling a joke to the group. I looked at them, uncertain if my new acquaintances would be so accommodating with sharing their lunch table as they were with their questions and their thoughts, also uncertain if I wanted the attention.
In all my other schools, I had ended up hiding in stairwells and out-of-the-way nooks reading books to avoid the swell of thoughts such people-filled places caused. I felt my bag, making sure I had my book just in case. Davis led me to the lunch line without speaking, and I surveyed the rest of the cafeteria, noting again the differences between all my other schools.
It was small, yet brightly lit, with the food and cash registers in the far corner of the room. The tables were round, with mismatched chairs squished in wherever there was room. It had a more cozy feeling than my last cafeteria. There, they’d had uncomfortable metallic swivel stools bolted onto long tables, I guess so no one could steal the stools. Here, stool stealing didn’t seem to be an issue.
Alex caught my eye and waved as Davis and I threaded our way through the tables.  Everyone else just stared. I waved back, wondering if she was trying to appear cool by waving at the dangerous new girl, or if she was just that nice. She got up from her crowded table and joined me as I got my food, her smile dimpling her cheeks. She greeted Davis warmly, and he smiled back shyly, instantly blushing. I piled food on a tray and paid.
“How’s your day been so far?” she asked kindly.
“First day-ish,” I said, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings, aware that many people were listening in.
“I know what you mean,” she said understandingly. “Do you want to join us?”
Alex gestured at the large group she had been leading me toward. I looked at the tables, which had been shoved together to accommodate so many, and the thoughts assaulted me double time. I shifted uncomfortably, briefly enjoying the idea that I was invited, but not wanting the storm. I needed some peace; some time that was my own.
“Um.”
She glanced at me, and her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. She needs to be alone. Too much attention. But she doesn’t want to look rude.  She turned to Davis. “I’m going to show Clare something. You can have my seat, okay?”
“Cool,” Davis said, bobbing his head once, trying to hide his blush. He was centered in major crush town where she was concerned. It didn’t take my talent to see that. If Alex saw it, she hid it well.
Alex led the way back to the hallway, past all the staring people, and to a squishy, padded bench down the hall. I sat down and propped my tray of food on my knees. “Thanks.”
“I remember my first day here. It was sort of miserable.” I smiled in agreement and started in on my salad.  “You’re a vegetarian, aren’t you?” Alex asked. “I noticed you totally bypassed the meat surprise.”
I looked up at her to make sure I had heard her speak her thoughts aloud. It was a problem I’d been encountering lately. I had to be sure not to answer people’s thoughts by accident. She was looking at me expectantly.
“Who wouldn’t bypass the meat surprise? It’s a surprise no one should have. But yes, I’ve been one since I was twelve.” The day Ellen told me the truth. “Why? Is that strange or something?”
“For this area it is,” Alex admitted. “Everyone loves their meat. I’m one, too.”
“Sweet.”
“Did you want me to go back inside and give you a real minute of peace?” she asked.
I shook my head as I swallowed my food. “Tell me more about Atlanta. I only drove through there a couple of times.”
She smiled and started talking about her home city with the sort of remembered fondness I had for a dozen cities across the country. She was just getting into the stores where she used to shop when Mr. Popularity walked past on quiet feet, surprising me. I hadn’t noticed his presence, or felt any warning thought. We paused in our conversation automatically, my body freezing at the sight of him and the remembrance of his deadly-black eyes.
He smiled warmly at Alex, and I sensed it was genuine. “Alex,” he greeted her. His eyes slid to me, crinkling with disdainful mockery. “You’re not making a pet out of the new girl are you?”
I scowled at him, crunching my lettuce with more force than necessary. “Woof,” I said dryly.
Alex laughed and made a face. “I know you have better manners than that, Daniel,” she scolded.
I gave a skeptical laugh, which I tried to hide with a cough.
He kept walking, tucking his hands into his pockets in a habitual gesture. His mocking smirk in response to my laughter as he disappeared down the hall was annoying. I stared at my salad, no longer hungry, and tried to figure out if I was annoyed with him or scared of him. Shouldn’t I be scared? And why was it so fun to be annoyed at him?
She’s upset. I bet it’s because of this morning. “I heard about your tennis game this morning,” Alex said honestly as soon as he was out of sight.
I sighed, having expected the gossip to spread quickly. “Did you?”
“Yes, yes, I did. I wouldn’t worry about him. He has this reputation for never losing at sports. You know how men can be about that.”
I laughed, agreeing with her explanation. But her explanation didn’t answer the question of how his eyes had flashed that eerie black color. People’s eyes didn’t just flash black over competitiveness. No one I knew, at least. I didn’t mention it to her, however; she might spread it around to the school, and for some reason, I didn’t want anyone to know about what had happened. Not yet. Not until I had answers.
“Why wasn’t he in the lunchroom with the rest of the…” I trailed off not wanting to offend her.
She arched an eyebrow. “Were you going for mindless sheep or brainless crowd?”
I grinned…sheepishly. “Sheep. But I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine.” They are mindless sheep for the most part. “He never eats in the cafeteria.”
“Why?”
“I dunno. Maybe he doesn’t like cafeterias.” Her tone implied it wasn’t her business. Or mine.
“Can’t blame him,” I replied.
She went back to explaining Daniel’s behavior. “Daniel sometimes acts the way people think he should act, instead of the way he is. He plays the part. Jock…prep…whatever. I call him out on it…keeps him honest.” Her eyes sparkled with her smile. “I know why he does it, though. In a town this small, you learn how to keep people satisfied that they know everything there is to know about you and keep the bit of you that’s real to yourself.”
“Yeah, it’s called lying,” I retorted before I thought about it.
I turned to apologize, realizing that I kept sticking my foot in my mouth, but she was laughing. “You don’t really lie, I take it?” she asked.
“A lie is a lie, but lying and keeping a secret are two different things,” I qualified a little uneasily, thinking my whole existence was a study in keeping a secret.
“Exactly.”
“So, are you two close? You seem to know a lot about him,” I said slowly.
“You’re asking if we date.”
“No.” I thought about it. “Yes.”
She laughed again. “No, we don’t date. Daniel isn’t really my type.” She rolled her eyes. “I like quiet boys, and he talks too much. He’s also not easily caught. You have no idea how many girls cry themselves to sleep because he’s so inaccessible.”
“I might,” I told her thinking of this morning and all the girls who were daydreaming about him in rather shocking ways. She gave me a funny look, and I added quickly, “Not for that reason.”
“What reason, then?” she asked.  Does she pick up on the way people act as well? I bet she does. She’s probably learned that people aren’t the way they dress.
I looked at her, mildly impressed. “Jennifer and Michelle were having eye-sex with him in gym. It was hard not to notice.”
She laughed again, my answer satisfying her. “The bell is about to ring. You want to put up your tray?”
“Yes.”
As I stood, I noticed a movement at the end of the hall, which disappeared as quickly as the time it took me to look again. I waited a moment, wanting to pinpoint the eavesdropper by their thoughts, indignant that we were being eavesdropped on, but the hall was completely silent, both in my head and externally. Our eavesdropper had fled the scene of the crime. I frowned, wondering who would eavesdrop on us. I pushed the weirdness away, figuring it to be an overzealous classmate.
As I put up my tray, Alex asked me about my next class – literature – and I found we shared it. She offered to walk me there with more sincerity than Mark’s offer; she, at least, didn’t want something from me. I accepted happily, feeling odd that I had made an actual friend on my very first day of school.
Admittedly, her thoughts weren’t typical. She was nice, not because she thought she could benefit from it, but because that was just her personality. She was popular for that very reason. I could sense the others respected her for her kindness and let her talk to them in ways they wouldn’t let anyone else. From fleeting impressions from Mark, Jennifer and Michelle, who stood to join us as we passed, I also knew Alex was funny and always had a joke or a smile.
Look at her, already fitting in with the rest of the prideful degenerates. They don’t even know the danger they are in, yet they let her in without question. They will pay. They’ll all pay.
I stopped walking, causing Mark to bump into me on our way out of the lunchroom. I ignored him and looked around for the owner of the thought, startled by the hatred in the voice; startled, too, because I’d heard that same voice last night, outside my house. I listened hard, but the lunchroom was too full with the chattering masses for me to be able to pinpoint the owner. I shook my head and apologized to Mark, noticing that Jennifer was thinking I’d stopped on purpose to get him to feel me up. She wasn’t happy with the thought. Alex hooked her arm through mine again and led the way out of the room.
Thanks to the curious people, who swarmed around me as I walked, Alex and I were the last two into our next class. Everyone else had already taken their seats and was chattering happily to their neighbors, in the usual pre-class roar of noise and excitement, as we entered.
Alex released my arm with a smile and went to take her seat in the middle of the room. She immediately leaned over to her neighbor, a tiny boy with a bad complexion, and started talking to him. His eyes brightened noticeably when he saw her, and it was my turn to smile. I knew the boy looked forward to her talking to him more than anything else during the day. I also knew that she knew that and made a special point to talk to him every day.
As I handed the mousy woman at the front of the room the slip to sign, my eyes traveled beyond Alex to search for an open seat. Secrets and images swirled around in my head in a poorly conceived dance of visuals and noise, making my head pulse with the beat. Whenever I accidently caught eyes with someone, their thoughts grew louder, then dimmed, as I moved on to find a seat that was unoccupied.
I sighed in irritated acceptance when I saw Daniel, next to the only available desk at the back of the room, talking to a boy in front of him. Although he was smiling, I noticed him tapping one of his long pale fingers on the small desk he was crammed into. I took it to be a sign of impatience or irritation. Had he also come to the conclusion that I had no choice other than to sit next to him?
The teacher introduced herself as Mrs. Heart as she handed me a large textbook with Marlowe’s face plastered on the front. Her thoughts were strong, but not obtrusively so. Poor dear, looks like she’s been manhandled by a hedgehog. Shouldn’t judge, though. She looks just like my cousin Jeanie… I really should call her. Haven’t talked to her in ages…
I had to suppress the impulse to laugh at her description of my hair, liking her choice of words. They were unusual. I didn’t need any more stares, though…or anyone thinking I was a crazy person. It was my first day, after all.
Book in hand, I walked down the aisle and steeled myself for whatever Daniel would say next, if he even talked to me at all. I marshaled my sarcasm and disdain just in case, feeling I would need it, and more, to deal with him.
As I sat down, he peeked over at me and smirked again. I wondered what he was thinking and why he was smirking. That was an idea…What was he thinking? I concentrated, trying to hone in on his thoughts. It was difficult; I’d never gone looking for one person’s thoughts in particular before – typically people’s thoughts found me.
As I concentrated, all the voices flooded in, the sheer volume threatening to overwhelm me. It was like listening to a waterfall of noise inside my head, without the benefit of a muffler. I shifted through the thoughts of homework, crushes, and a million other worries, but I didn’t hear any voices that sounded like his; not a single slither of thought that could be mistaken for his.
I turned to look at him, knowing that if I looked at him I could find his thoughts easier. My leather jacket creaked with the agitated movement as I searched out his strange eyes. He was laughing softly at a joke the boy in front of him had just made, the laughter not quite reaching his eyes. The laugh was melodic and magical, but I still couldn’t hear his thoughts.
The new girl is staring at Daniel. They all can’t get enough of him. I think he does the not dating thing on purpose just to drive them crazy. I wonder if that would help me…
A vision of a massive score of nameless girls begging for attention surged into my brain, and I cringed. I shifted my gaze back to the front, recognizing the owner of the voice as the guy in front of Daniel. Would he point my staring out to Daniel? I shifted uncomfortably in the tiny desk.
“You ever wonder why people do the things they do?”
I looked back over, my head in my hand, and saw Daniel had his eyes trained on me.  He had removed his letterman jacket, and his blue t-shirt stretched over his muscles in an obvious way. The boy in front of him had turned back around to look through his notebook for his homework.
I looked Daniel straight in the eyes, one of my eyebrows arching at his question. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I thought it was pretty obvious,” he said in a tone that doubted my intellect.
“The question was obvious, but why you’re asking isn’t.”
“You’re more concerned about the why in life then, not the actual act?”
I decided to play along with wherever his thoughts were, curious despite my uncertainty. Maybe, I would learn more about him…even if the conversation was bizarre.
“I guess I am more concerned with the why, yes. A good deed if done in the spirit of evil is still an evil deed. But, if a person does something with good intent, and that somehow turns into something bad, I would be willing to forgive them, because the why behind the act was good….I like to imagine all the possible whys before I leap to a conclusion. I think it helps me not judge too hastily when someone does something I don’t like. Now,” I raised an eyebrow at him, “will you tell me why you are asking?”
He smiled and looked down at his hands. He had stopped tapping. “I was wondering where you stood, if you’d thought about it at all.”
“That’s a peculiar way to initiate a conversation, don’t you think?”
“Should I have started with the old, ‘if a tree fell in the forest,’ routine? Would that have been better?” he asked.
I made a face at him. “Why you would ask a question like that at all is the puzzle, I think.”
“Yes, why was the question.” His eyes danced with mine playfully. “Can’t a guy just be curious?”
I gave him another mocking look, trying to follow his shifting moods.
“Oh, I get it. A guy can’t be curious, or think about philosophical things, if he’s a football player. We’re too stupid.”
I rolled my eyes at his assumption. I had been thinking more along the lines that people didn’t ask something like that unless they had an agenda. “Yep. You guys are too stupid, and live too much in the present, to be truly deep. All that beer chugging and grunting gets in the way.”
“So, what, you think you’re deeper than me, because you look like you just stepped out of a Nine Inch Nails concert?”
“I prefer Black Sabbath. And no, I think I’m deeper than you because I don’t expect people to kiss my ass.”
He actually laughed; a real laugh. I could tell from the way it reached his eyes. “I don’t expect people to kiss my ass!”
“Whether you expect it or not, they obviously do,” I replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I pointed to the girls looking at him with dreamboat eyes, my face sarcastic. He turned back to me, his face wry. “Point taken.” He appraised me for a moment. “You’re kind of contentious, aren’t you?”
“No.” I sighed uncertainly, swiveling my head in my hand. “Maybe. Being contentious is better than being everyone else.”
“True…I think.”
I looked away from his strange eyes, wanting some relative clarity in order to think over our conversation. He had an easy-going familiarity I felt was partly an act, but partly not. I could tell he knew how to talk to people, to make them see what he wanted them to see, but I could also tell he thought about things seriously. It drew me out and reeled me in, fascinating me more than I was willing to admit. I had never met a stranger so capable of doing that to me. But what was real? The sarcasm or the side that thought seriously about things?
Mrs. Heart started her lesson on Shakespeare then, on a play I had already studied, ending our conversation. My mind wandered as she lectured, and I glanced over at Daniel, wanting to look at his face, to puzzle out his mystery, his questions, and was surprised to see that he was looking back at me. His head was in his hand, mirroring me, except that he was tapping impatiently on the desk again. As our eyes connected, he shifted his attention back to the front, but only after he had given me a look that was both mocking and smug.
I frowned at the side of his face I could see, not able to follow his shifting and contradicting actions. One second he was angry because I had beat him at some stupid tennis game, the next he was asking philosophical questions and staring at me like he’d never seen a girl with Punk hair before.
I focused again, trying to hear anything from him, even a thought of what he was going to have for dinner. I shifted through all the thoughts slowly, taking my time, so I wouldn’t miss anything, but still…nothing. Where was he?
I scowled at Mrs. Heart as she started questioning the class, my confusion making me irritable. She called on me after a moment of questions, to get a feel for what I had learned in previous schools. Her face was expressionless, but I knew she wasn’t expecting much. I decided to go for dazzle, my irritation overriding my desire not to be noticed. It was dangerous like that.
“Where did you learn that?” she asked in her squeaky voice, ignoring the whispers floating around the room.
“I was in A.P. English at my old school, but this school didn’t have it…” I trailed off feeling like my whole day had been a study in not offending anyone.
“Oh!” she said impressed.  Another brainchild. I don’t remember Ellen being that intellectual. Fun at parties, maybe, but not super smart. I heard a mental sigh. I don’t know if I can handle having another genius in here. Of course, Daniel has an explanation…his parents are scientists. Maybe her father is smart? I know I’ll have to pair them together, if I want the others to learn anything, but that might cause problems…
I looked over at Daniel, wondering if he had been as impressed by my answer as the others, but he wasn’t looking at me. His attention was focused on the desk he was tapping on. Irritated all over again that I was acting like a five year old over some boy I’d just met, I went back to looking out of the windows, gratified I’d taught the teacher not to pick on me anymore.
I stared at the trees, which were swaying slightly with the wind, and kept up a constant fidget. I searched my emotions, wondering about the interest I had. Maybe, the fascination was because I hadn’t counted on my first day being like this. I had thought it would be awkward, perhaps a little depressing, but now it was suddenly interesting – not just because something about him rubbed me the wrong way, but because I wanted to unearth a little of his mystery. I wanted to know why he put on the show, why his eyes changed color, why he hid behind his popularity and his charm – I just wanted to know ‘why.’
My questions had me focused on every move he made, every impatient adjustment in his chair. It was driving me crazy.
The bell, when it rang, was a relief. Daniel seemed to agree with me. He stood fluidly and started talking to the boy in front of him as they walked out the door together. A strange part of me wanted to tell him about the jealous thoughts the boy was having, but I knew I was being silly. He wouldn’t care, and he’d probably freak out if I told him how I knew. That was a major thing I had promised Ellen. No one could know about my past, my mind reading, or any of the strange things. It was what kept us safe; it was what kept us hidden.
Alex came over to where I sat unmoving. “What do you have next?”
“Chorus,” I told her, shifting my eyes away from Daniel’s retreating back.
“Me too. Come on, I’ll make sure you don’t get lost in the sheep.”
“Baahhh!”
She giggled and hooked her hand through my arm companionably as I slung my bag over my shoulder. “I noticed a certain someone staring at you in class.”
“Was it the boy in the front row who looked like he’d been flunked a couple of times?” I asked.
“Jerry? No, well, yes, but I meant Daniel.”
I tried to keep my face expressionless, but she had already seen my interest. She smiled knowingly. “Yeah, he barely took his eyes off you.”
“Wait, why were you staring?”
“Because you think he’s cute, and I wanted to know if he thought the same.” Her thoughts were in total agreement with her words. Was I that obvious? Or was she just that observant?
“Well, does he?” I asked, acknowledging how peculiar it was for me to have to rely on someone else to know what a person was thinking.
“I can’t be certain yet. He just looked confused.”
“He was probably trying to understand how I beat him at tennis.”
“No, it was more than that.”
“He probably wants to know where I get my eyeliner,” I joked.
“Not Daniel,” she replied. “He’s not the eyeliner type.”
My stomach dropped at the thought of her spreading our conversation to the school. I ardently did not want my very slim, miniscule, non-interest getting back to him. That would just give him leverage. I didn’t need someone having that kind of power on my first day. And I certainly could live without the teasing. But for some strange reason, I was convinced our conversation would remain private.
At the chorus room, Alex left my side so I could talk to the teacher. She settled herself in with the other sopranos, her thoughts circling around ways to get Daniel and me together. I sighed as I handed the teacher the slip, hoping her ideas would remain in her head. I didn’t need any crazy shenanigans in my first week; particularly potentially embarrassing shenanigans.
The last hour of class was torturous. The bell ringing was the second most beautiful sound I had heard all day. I gave Alex a brief excuse about having to turn in my paperwork, then fled the classroom as quickly as I could. Alex let me leave with a smile, her mind on the plans she had with Michelle, not minding my rushed escape.
A cold wind played across my face as I walked out the large double doors, but it was refreshing after a long day indoors. It was better than the stagnate feeling of unanswered questions and an unwelcome spotlight. Feeling overwhelmed, and conflicted, I made my way through the sunny, cold afternoon with my jacket pulled tight against the wind.


Chapter 4


I unlocked the front door of my large house eagerly, feeling glad Ellen wasn’t home yet. I needed the time to compose myself, to get my thoughts in order before anyone else’s intruded. Unlike the apartments I was used to, the house provided me with enough room to do just that. It was another thing I was starting to like about it.
Figuring that having something to do would be better than dwelling on my strange day, I spent a good forty minutes on the homework I’d been given. It was insanely easy, but it kept me occupied. When I finished my last algebra problem, I left the sanctity of my bedroom and went to cook dinner. As I put the lasagna in the oven to bake, I heard the door open and Ellen called my name.
“In here!” I called back.
She looked tired, but happy, as she walked into the bright kitchen.  “Hey! How was your first day?”
“Typical-ish.”
She laughed at me. “Lots of questions, right? I told you there would be lots of questions.”
I made a face at her and went to the refrigerator to get out the salad. “How was your day?” I asked focused on washing the lettuce.
“It was good, busy, but good.”
“I met Alex Lawson today,” I said.
And a stupid boy I beat at tennis. And a bunch of kids that apparently decided to make me popular. And teachers that not only knew you when you were young but were jealous of you.
Her face brightened noticeably. “Sam’s daughter?”
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool.”
“Cool,” she replied.
I frowned, trying to remember the receptionist’s name. It came to me. “Oh, and Heather Smith or Thomas said to tell you ‘hi.’ I think she wanted you to know that she is married…to an old boyfriend of yours.”
Ellen raised a trembling hand to her mouth. I thought she was going to start crying again, her eyes filling with water. Instead, she started laughing hysterically. “Oh….that hypocrite! She hated me when we were in school together! She didn’t like the fact that I was dating James King. She had a major crush on him.” She snorted with laughter. “Figures, she would marry James’s best friend. He must have been sorry that day.” Trailing laughter down the hall, she went to go change out of her work clothes.
I shrugged to the empty kitchen, thinking that people really were strange, and that despite being able to hear their thoughts, they didn’t make any sense.
When the food was ready, we ate companionably, as was our custom. She told me all about her day, no detail being too small, while I tried to figure out the right way to bring up something that had been bothering me since gym.
My face must have alerted her to my preoccupation, because as we washed the dishes she asked, “Are you sure everything was okay today? You seem a bit…distracted.”
“Well, no, not really.”
Her drying hand slowed and she gave me a penetrating look. “What?”
Her voice was serious and I knew where her thoughts had gone. I was in the same place. It was a place I was not happy about. It was our default mode: running. Despite not wanting to live in such a tiny town, I hated moving and hated the thought of facing another first day so soon after this one.
“You know about my…”
“Gift? Of course I do,” she said quickly.
She was uncomfortable, and I knew why. She felt guilty about everything that was happening to me; guilty for the curse I faced. But I didn’t blame her, especially since she’d been honest with me about everything. “Well, this morning in gym class I heard a girl say in her thoughts, ‘I guess it is true that the child pays for the sins of the parent,’ and I was wondering if she somehow knew?”
Ellen put down the plate and braced herself against the countertop. Her face was sad. “I don’t think she knows what you are. I think she’s just been talking to her parents.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I told you how conservative people are here?”
“Yes.”
“Some people here feel that a mother who has a child outside of marriage is a sinful creature, and that the child will be punished because of the mother’s lack of morals.”
“Those people are backwards,” I said, my temper flaring.
“It’s what they believe.”
“Well, they should believe in something different!”
“Saying that doesn’t change anything, Clare…You of all people shouldn’t judge them.”
I scrubbed hard at the plate in my hands, focusing my anger there. “I shouldn’t judge people even though their opinions suck?!”
“No, that’s not what I meant. You simply know how hurtful judgmental thoughts can be,” she replied. “You hear them all the time.”
“I just don’t like people thinking bad thoughts about you.” I avoided her eyes as I asked the next question. “You think we should leave?”
“No,” she said firmly, putting an end to the discussion.  Her face transformed into a penetrating look I recognized all too well. “Are you sure that’s the only reason for your preoccupation? It feels like there’s more.” Did you meet a cute boy?
I fought my blush, hating that my pale skin flushed with color so easily. How could she possibly know that I kept thinking about stupid Mr. Popularity and everything he had said to me? Our moments together kept replaying in my head like a broken record as I tried to understand if he was something else I should be worried about, or if it was okay to feel attracted to him. Not that I was attracted. Not at all.
“There were a couple of cute boys, but don’t worry, they’re part of the Elite. They won’t be interested in me beyond the fact that I’m new and different. Once my shininess wears off, they’ll go back to ignoring me.”
“Well, you do look a bit dark, sweetie, not that you are dark. Judgmental thoughts remember?”
I laughed once without humor. “Yeah.”
Irritated, I dumped the water from the tub I had been washing in. There was no way he would be interested. Ellen was right. I was too dark. “I’m going to go on a walk,” I said.
“All right.”
I started to leave the kitchen, but she stopped me with a hand on the shoulder. Her thoughts circled around the idea that people thought I was a degenerate because of her youthful actions. “Clare…I wanted to tell you…”
“Yeah?”
“If I wasn’t so against clichés, I’d say you were my sunshine.”
“It’s a good thing you hate clichés, then.”
“Yeah…but you are, you know…my sunshine, not a cliché.”
“I love you, too,” I said.
She dropped her arm and leaned against the counter, deep in thought. Her thoughts were focused on the idea that I would pay for her sin. I walked down the hall and out the front door, trying to block her sadness.
Hurrying to get away from her guilt, I barreled through the door and walked up the street, finally not feeling the bitter wind on me. My thoughts moved back to my father and the reasons why we moved so much; a place I often went when I saw Ellen in such a mood.
Ellen had never been one to keep secrets from me; she was as honest as she was a free and loving spirit. Too, the secret of what I was, of what I would become, was too dangerous to keep from me. I had to understand. I had to know why secrecy was so important, and why our lives depended on me keeping that secret.
When I was twelve, we had rushed home to pack after running into a strange man on the street. He had followed us for two blocks, his strange red eyes obtrusive as he stalked us. We had finally lost him in a crowd of people, but Ellen hadn’t taken the encounter lightly.
As we packed, she had told me in her wonderfully direct way that angels existed and some of them, the ones that were set to watch over humans in the beginning, had fallen from grace by taking humans for mates. She told me how the fallen angels wandered the earth still, occasionally falling in love with humans and making little mistakes like me. That was also the day I learned about the others like me, who were the sons and daughters of angels. They were at war. She didn’t know over what.
She did know that the ones like me – the sons and daughters of angels – were divided into two sides, and that each side searched endlessly for recruits. It was the reason we had to keep a low profile and run as often as we did. If a person wasn’t willing, they killed them so that the other side couldn’t have that person as an asset. That’s what people like me were to them – an asset. There was no good side; there was just pain and death if they found you.
I wondered for the millionth time how my father could leave us to that fear and constant paranoia. He had abandoned us to a war we didn’t know how to fight. He could have protected us, he could have made sure we were safe, but he had walked away without even a letter to say where he had gone. Had Ellen and I been mistakes to him? Had he really loved her, or was she just a blink of an eye in his long life? Was I paying for his sin now?
I turned on Main Street and the thoughts, which had been fuzzy and distant, reached the point that I couldn’t ignore them anymore. They surged up like a tornado, circling in my head:
That must be Ellen’s kid. Look at her walking in this cold, what’s she doing?
17, 18, 19 No. Huh. I was sure I laid out twenty.
No! No! You put the starch in first!
I wonder if Billy would be willing to take me to Fiji for our honeymoon.
Billy is going to tell her tonight that we’ve been seeing each other. I’m glad. I’m tired of hiding it.
Of course I love you, baby. Visions of a young couple kissing in the dark flew up, their passion filling my brain.
I put my hands over my ears, trying to drown out the noise, but it was useless.  I gasped as more chattering voices flooded over me, visions circling, and I started walking faster. I needed a place that was silent, a place I could be truly alone with my anger.
As I walked past a small store, my head lowered against the wind and the thoughts, I felt an unexpected presence. I turned instinctively and saw Daniel outlined by the door, holding a plastic bag in his hands. I stumbled away from him and kept walking up the sidewalk, not really wanting to hear any more thoughts. Despite his eerie silence, I knew I would hear him eventually.
“Hey, where’s the fire?” He jogged to catch up with me, his long legs closing the distance easily.
“I just set one, that’s why I’m walking so fast. I don’t want them to catch me,” I said.
“I wouldn’t have figured you for being a fire starter.”
“There are probably a lot of things you wouldn’t figure me for,” I retorted.
I walked even faster, feeling self-conscious despite myself. I didn’t know where to put my hands suddenly. They searched for a home, nothing feeling comfortable. I settled for shoving them into my coat pockets.
Daniel chuckled at my words. I looked over at him and saw he was looking at me strangely. “Seriously, where are you going? Can I give you a ride?”
“What is this, some kind of outreach program or something?”
“What do you mean?”
I stopped walking and faced him, my hands finding a familiar home on my hips. My sour mood and the circling voices in my head had me speaking my mind without thought. “It’s been my experience that guys like you don’t pay attention to people like me unless you A. want something, B. want to pull a prank or do something mean, or three feel sorry for me.”
“You said three instead of C.”
“I know…”
“If you’re going to list something, you should do a proper job of it,” he said.
“You’re very odd.”
I started walking again, realizing he wasn’t going to answer my accusation. Was it, ‘D.’ none of the above? As I started walking, the voices in my head lowered perceptibly then cut off completely as if my talent had suddenly found its kryptonite. All I heard was his voice and the occasional, normal, sound of the residents of King’s Cross going about their lives.
“You just met me,” Daniel said.
“Doesn’t mean you’re not strange.”
“True.”
After a moment of that strange, blissful, silence, he said, “So, really, where are we going?”
Now it was “we.”
“I don’t know…I’m just walking.”
“I like to just walk sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“Well, who likes to walk all the time?”
“Marathon walkers?”
“There’s no such thing.”
“According to you.”
“According to everyone, Clare.”
I peeked over at him again, a little startled by his familiarity, and the way he said my name. “Can I ask you a question?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but you don’t really seem…”
“Generic, mindless, and full of my own self-importance?” he asked.
“Like a football player.”
He laughed and rolled his eyes.
“How’d that happen?” I asked archly.
While he was certainly athletic, his vibe was very different from that of the average football player. It just didn’t seem to fit him.
“Sometimes, the best defense is a good offense, Clare.” His smooth voice was light, but I sensed he was serious. “In my case, a good offense means playing on the football team.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“Not everything is as it appears.”
I snorted. “You can say that again.”
“Not everything is as it appears,” he repeated.
It was my turn to laugh.
“Don’t you have a car or something to get back to?” I asked.
We had made another turn onto a side street going away from the downtown. I was certain he hadn’t parked this far away. It was rude, but I couldn’t help the feeling he was acting interested because, like Mark, he thought I was loose. I wished I was better at really reading people, without the thoughts, like Alex seemed to be.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“Yes.” I shook my head knowing that wasn’t true. “No. Look, I’m not really very good with people being this…”
“Attentive?”
“Yes.”
“Because you’ve perfected the art of blending into the background. Your looks have always insured people never really see you. People see the illusion you’ve created, instead of the reality. You don’t know how to handle people being interested in you because of the novelty of your perceived oddness.”
I hugged my arms against my chest not liking how accurate that sounded. Had he somehow crawled into my head while I wasn’t looking? “Sounds to me like you’ve taken Psych 101.”
“I’ll take that to mean I’m right.”
“I like my privacy. Is that wrong?”
“Nope.”
He looked up at the cloudless sky, his eyes reflecting the dusk. I looked up, too, noticing for the first time that a person could see more of the sky here without the buildings getting in the way. It was nice in a ‘secluded, nothing is around, beware of banjos’ way. It was funny it took his glance heavenwards for me to notice.
“Can I walk you home?” he asked suddenly.
I looked back down. My feet slowed, then stopped. “I don’t sleep around,” I blurted out.
His dark eyebrows went into his hairline. I started playing with the necklace Ellen had given me a long time ago, feeling agitated and nervous. I really didn’t want him to be interested in me for the same reasons Mark was. Well, maybe not entirely.
“I mean, I know that Mark just wants to know me because he thinks I’m easy, but I’m not. I’m not like that at all. I want something more lasting…something permanent.  My mom got pregnant at seventeen, and I know how hard that was on her…I don’t want that either…” I trailed off realizing I was rambling, and giving more of my personality away than I’d intended to give to a stranger.
His eyes had melted from astonishment, to understanding, to something else I couldn’t place. “I don’t sleep around either,” he said seriously.
We started walking again, his words releasing me from my agitated state.
There was a moment of silence, in which I felt like an idiot, before he added, “I’d be careful of Mark, by the way. He likes to think of women as a conquest waiting to happen rather than a person waiting to be understood.”
I gave him a penetrating look. He didn’t feel the same way? “Then why are you talking to me? Really?”
“I’m talking to you because you’re the first person to beat me at any sport, ever.” I made a face, wondering if he was still upset about that. “And because you’re different,” he added.
“I am that,” I agreed.
We walked in thoughtful silence then, our feet headed in a wonderfully purposeless direction.
“Does this mean you’re letting me walk you home?” he asked playfully as we roamed the streets, the night starting to quietly whisper to us.
“We’ll see,” I said preparing to step off the curb.
“Wait,” he commanded.
The bag in his hand flashed out and caught me in the gut. I stumbled away from the curb as a sports car blew past us and squealed around the corner of the next block without heed to the stop sign it had just run. I held on to my stomach, where the bag had hit it, and watched the car pass out of sight.
“How’d you do that?” I asked.
“Do what?”
“Know that car was coming!”
“I heard him, didn’t you?”
“No,” I said, checking the street in triplicate before I stepped down again.
“It’s not my fault you’ve got stone ears.”
“What’s in the bag?” I asked not looking at him, afraid my eyes would give away how much his hit had hurt. I was certain he hadn’t meant to hit me that hard.
“Stuff for my parents, for an experiment they’re doing.”
“They’re scientists right?”
He smirked, like I had confirmed something. “You’ve been checking up on me.”
“Small school,” I shrugged, feeling the heat in my face. I’d heard that factoid in Mrs. Heart’s thoughts.
“Yeah, it is. But what do Jennifer’s parents do for a living?”
I thought over all the thoughts that had assaulted my brain today, glad for my “gift” for once. “Her mom is a professor at the college. Her dad is a doctor…internal medicine.” I looked at him innocently. “Did I pass?”
He grinned playfully and didn’t answer. I took that as a ‘yes.’
My teeth started chattering as we stepped back on to the sidewalk, and I realized that, with the setting sun, the already chilly wind was growing colder. The first chance I got I would have to buy another jacket, maybe a fleece one. He looked over at the sound of my teeth knocking together.
“You’re cold. Do you want my jacket?” He was already taking it off.
I laughed sarcastically. “And, somehow, if I’m less cold that will make up for the fact that I took your jacket and you are now freezing? Isn’t that a bit archaic?”
He ignored me and laid the jacket on my shoulders in bossy confidence. I settled it around my shoulders, resigned that I would have to accept it. I could tell he would get his way…eventually. Plus, I liked the gesture.
“You’re pushy, do you know that?” I said.
“Of course. It comes with being an all-star quarterback and having people kiss my ass all the time.” His eyes caught mine. “Are you warmer?”
“Yes,” I huffed grumpily. He looked at me expectantly. I couldn’t help it, I laughed again. “Fine. Thank you for the jacket.”
He smiled happily. “You’re welcome.”
I looked at him in his blue t-shirt and jeans, admittedly admiring what I saw. “But aren’t you cold?”
“I’m tough, I can handle it.”
“Ugh!” I said. “Talk about typical male pride.”
“I just like to think that chivalry isn’t dead.”
“Of course it’s dead,” I retorted. “Technology killed it…Murdered it dead.”
He made a funny grunting noise of agreement, but didn’t say anything else in response. As we circled another street, I could see him deep in thought, as if he was considering something especially important. I left him to those thoughts, content to be left alone with mine.
“Clare, can I ask a weird question?”
“Uh…beyond the one you just asked?”
“Yes. Is it all right if we just walk for a while…in silence?”
“Silence?”
“Yes, that thing that happens when two people don’t talk.”
“I thought that’s what we were doing?”
“I need an official agreement.”
“Silence sounds wonderful,” I answered, ignoring his sarcasm.
It also sounded too much like a request I would make. He nodded and went back to watching the heavens. I listened, and realized we were really walking in silence. There were no thoughts, just the sound of an occasional car and a stiff wind, which rustled the tree branches. How was that possible? I never had a moment free of other people’s thoughts; I even saw their dreams in mine sometimes. I shook my head – the question of ‘how’ didn’t matter as much as the silence.
The silence slipped around my mind like a warm blanket, and I felt myself relax in response to the quiet. It was the most relaxed I’d felt in days, months even.
The darkness got thicker as we walked together in that relaxed silence, our arms almost touching. Clouds rolled in around the mountains and obscured the sky, making it feel darker and like there was less space separating us. The streetlights kicked on in response, casting everything into weird shades of pink and orange. The shadows started to stretch across the road, sheathing the houses in obscurity, blocking out everything more than ten feet in front of us.
In this encapsulated oblivion, we walked in circles, finding peace, talking only when we felt moved to do so, his request freeing something between us. When we eventually reached my street, having circled the downtown several times, I slowed my pace slightly, surprised that I was actually enjoying our time together. There was no pressure, no expectation. We simply were.
I stopped when we reached my driveway and took the jacket off, offering it to him. “Thanks for the walk.”
He ignored me. I shook the jacket at him to get his attention, but his eyes were on the thick woods behind my house.
“Daniel?”
“I want you to promise me something,” he said.
I was taken aback by his tone. It was familiar, yet intense. He had thrown aside all the awkwardness between strangers with that one phrase, making us friends.
“What?”
“Stay out of the woods.”
“Why?” I asked.
He didn’t answer. He simply waited, looking at me seriously, until I agreed. I did so knowing I wouldn’t go wandering around anyway, not knowing the terrain. I wasn’t stupid.
“I promise.”
He nodded once then turned with a stiff back and walked away without another word.
“Hey! You forgot your jacket!” I called after him.
He didn’t turn back or answer; he just kept walking, his head bowed against the wind, and the bag in his hand created a creaking accompaniment to his hasty retreat. I looked at the woods, then to his retreating form, trying to understand. The jacket felt heavy in my hands, as if he had left some of his gravity with me. The dark trees swayed with the cold wind, adding emphasis to that gravity. Chills that had nothing to do with the wind went down my spine. A prickle on the back of my neck told me I was being watched. Was it the neighbors? Slightly creeped out, I hurried across the lawn and into the house. I bolted the door behind me, checking the lock twice.
Ellen was watching television in the living room, but I ran up the stairs before she could speak to me. She would notice the state I was in; she always did. I locked my door to make sure I had privacy and headed straight for my window seat, in order to think. I kicked off my shoes and sat down, curling my knees to my chest against the dark night. As an afterthought, I threw Daniel’s warm jacket across my knees.
The house groaned and popped again, but it didn’t bring to mind ghosts of the past. Instead, my thoughts were on our strange walk together – the way Daniel had brushed aside all the anger I had been feeling, and the worry in his voice when he had warned me to stay out of the woods. Even his warning was secondary to the warm emotions I was feeling.
I slowly drifted to sleep on my window seat, not bothering with my nightly routine, too mentally exhausted after such a long day to care or to move.


Chapter 5


My neck was cramped and my body sore from sleeping on the window seat all night, but when I awoke the next morning I felt good. Daniel’s jacket was still wrapped around me in a soft blanket. Unable to stop the first impulse, I lifted it to my face and smelled it. It smelled good, like cologne and flowers after a summer storm. I pushed the jacket away and shook my head in irritation when I realized what I was doing.
I was being stupid.
I knew from long experience that I had to be careful with my emotions. I couldn’t expect too much from his actions, because he would somehow end up disappointing me. Men couldn’t be trusted. What my father had done to my mother was proof of that.
I got ready for school in a haze of fevered activity, excited, despite my rational thoughts about not getting involved. I knew I would end up at school early again.
When classes started, my hopes of seeing Daniel, and my curiosity to know if he would be as kind around the others as when we were alone, were dashed. The crowd in the gym was focused around three figures, not four.
“Clare!” Jennifer waved as soon as she saw me.
“Hey,” I said, talking over the hum of thoughts.
Mark gave me a huge grin as I sat, and Jennifer scowled. Does he like her? How could he find her attractive? I’m, like, ten times prettier!
I kept my eyes on the boy’s locker room as the others talked, but Daniel didn’t materialize as he had the night before. I felt depression creep up, the voices and thoughts of the others swirling steady around my emotions. It was just because I wanted to give him his jacket back, I told myself stubbornly. I didn’t want to have to lug it around in my bag all day and have someone see it. Plus, it was taking up book room.
A thought interrupted my excuses: It’s unbelievable. They’ve known me since we were in diapers, yet they fawn over the new girl and ignore me. Why can’t they at least act like I exist? Was it so long ago we were friends? Images of Jennifer and Michelle when they were younger materialized in my mind.
I looked down and saw the girl from yesterday, the one on the fringes of the group, her mousy brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her back was to me, but I knew it had been her thoughts; the tenor was identical to what I had heard yesterday. Only her body language, out of all the kids around me, matched the depressed thoughts. I stared at her in compassionate empathy. I wondered if Ellen was right and the girl was using my parentage as an excuse to hate me. Another excuse to hate me, I should say. She obviously didn’t like how easily I was fitting in. The fact Ellen had me at seventeen was an easy out for that hatred – if the girl was a staunch religious nut.
Coach ambled out of his office, trying to pull down his too small shirt as he walked. With a sharp blast of his whistle, he called the class to order and told us to find a partner for tennis again. One of the girls sitting close to me offered to be my partner, thinking our match would make for a good story. I agreed, and let her score a couple of shots, so her story could be more entertaining. With each awkward serve she sent my way, I found myself longing for my previous partner. He would make this class into a challenge. He would make the time fly, instead of me noticing every stupid second.

“I heard you and Daniel went on a walk last night,” Alex said, surprising me. I hadn’t heard her thinking about it. We were at the same bench at lunch, hiding in our little nook as we ate our salads.
“Where’d you hear that?” I asked carefully.
“A boy in my math class was driving his dad’s car last night…he was telling the whole class about it. He said he saw you two on Reed Street.”
“Does this boy’s dad have a sports car?” I asked belligerently.
“Yeah, he bought it from Mark’s dad last fall.”
“I oughta kill him! That ass almost hit me! What’s his name? Do you have his address?”
“You were out with Daniel, then?”
“I wasn’t out, out, with him,” I explained, “I just ran into him at the pharmacy. He insisted on walking with me.” For over an hour. In circles. Which was ridiculously fun.
I looked at Alex thoughtfully. She seemed to know about people; she could figure them out better than I could. Maybe she understood some of Daniel’s mystery. I couldn’t see the harm in asking the question burning on my tongue.
“What’s his deal?”
“His deal?”
“Well, he was being nice.”
She started laughing, the force of it rattling the bench. “Oh, God! Not…not…NICE!”
I made a face at her. “I know you’re nice, but I’m not used to people being so…you know?”
“I know…but King’s Cross isn’t like other towns. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies and their petty concerns, but people care about one another here. We’re all ‘nice.’ You’ll see eventually.”
“That was an evasion,” I said.
Would she believe me if I told her that he was just a good guy? “He doesn’t have a deal. He’s just Daniel.”
I accepted her words as truth. “You see a lot about people, don’t you?” I asked.
She shifted uncomfortably. “I just pay attention.”
“I don’t lie, you pay attention. We could fight crime if we wanted to.”
She giggled.
Fight crime! Bah! She’s the evil that walks the earth. She’s a plague on mortals. She shouldn’t live, she doesn’t deserve to live. If only I could kill her now!
I jumped, spilling my tray of food.
“What?!”  I yelled at Alex.
She looked at me, her laughter fading. “What?”
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything!”
She was right. The voice I’d heard had been in my mind. I bent down and started picking up the food I had spilled, feeling like an idiot for reacting so forcefully.
“I could have sworn I just heard someone call me fat,” I said in a poor attempt at covering my reaction.
I struggled to keep my eyes on the floor and not search the hallway. I realized this person, whoever they were, could still hear me, even though the trail of thought had died away. I could feel them watching me.
Alex started giggling again. “Who would call you fat? You’re a bean!”
“Thanks?” I replied dryly.
“Sure.”
My throat felt dry. My body coursed with adrenaline I was finding hard to control. As calmly as I could manage, I started toward the lunchroom on the pretense of dumping my food. But the whole way back to the cafeteria I felt that strange sense of being watched. It was a pervasive feeling not easily ignored. I scoured the corridor nervously, but it was absolutely and oddly deserted. Perhaps, hearing people’s thoughts all the time was making me hear voices when there weren’t any. Going crazy would fit in nicely with my expectations for my life.
I thought about it, silence creeping between Alex and me. No, the malice I’d felt was way too real. I couldn’t make that up. And that voice! I felt as if I was hearing it everywhere. I shivered and followed Alex into the lunchroom, the thoughts being thrown at me as I entered a distraction from the fear and hatred I had heard. Not a welcome distraction, but a distraction all the same.

The rest of the week passed faster than I thought a week could. I didn’t hear the nasty thoughts again, even though I started searching for the owner in earnest. I wanted to understand what they meant, or why whoever it was would hate me so vehemently. Was I found? Should I run? Twice I lingered in the hall during lunch with the sole purpose of trying to hear the mystery voice. The corridor remained empty, my search fruitless. How could I find what wasn’t there?
Going against our normal policy of absolute truthfulness, I didn’t tell Ellen about the voice. I tried a couple of times, but couldn’t bring myself to bring it up. She was hoping, beyond hope, that this place would work out and we could stay. She was searching for closure to her past. It was a search I didn’t want to interrupt.
I was curious, though, to the point of obsession. Whoever was having these thoughts knew things about me; I just wanted to even the playing field. Was it a kid at school? If not, who was it, and why were they hanging around? Why had they been at my house? Why were they so serious about killing me?
It didn’t help that Daniel didn’t show up for the rest of the week. It just increased my worry. I was worried he had gotten the flu or was otherwise sick because I had taken his jacket. The added worry just made me irritable. Would calling him be too weird? Even to check up on him? How would I get his phone number? Why was I so worried about a stranger?
On Friday, after a week of trying to downplay the desire to see him again, even if it was just to argue with him, I asked Alex if she had heard anything, needing an answer to one of my questions. No one had given his disappearance a thought, something I found peculiar and frustrating. Surely, people didn’t just stop coming to school and no one cared?  I had fought against the impulse to ask her all day, but finally caved in on our way to chorus.
“He goes on trips with his parents for their work. He has permission to go whenever he needs to as long as he keeps up with his homework, which, of course, he does, being the brilliant child of scientists and all,” Alex explained.
“He’s brilliant?” I asked dryly, skeptically.
“Yep. Apparently, intelligence is genetic,” she said with a laugh. “Ask Mrs. Heart. She had Daniel take an IQ test. It was off the charts. I heard her talking to another teacher about it.”
“Oh yeah?” I said curiously.
“Why do you ask?” she asked curiously.
We walked into the chorus room, and the teacher chided us for being late, cutting our discussion short. I was grateful. I wasn’t sure if I could honestly answer Alex’s question. Not in a way that would prevent lots of blushing and internal scolding.
When the final bell rang, I was the first one out of the door. I kept my head down and hurried out the front to avoid the kids hanging out by their cars in back, knowing they would stand there and talk for an hour, maybe longer. I knew, too, if I didn’t flee, Alex would badger me until she got a reply that satisfied her. I wasn’t eager for that either.
As the sunlight hit me, I decided to walk around despite the chilly air. I hadn’t explored the town any since my walk with Daniel, centering my time between school and home. It was a tactic that kept the thoughts out, but it was depressing. I was getting cabin fever. I could do with some exploration. Maybe, like last time, this exploration would come with a distraction.
I started up the street, giving most of the brick shops cursory glances as I passed, not interested in knick-knacks for tourists to prove they’d visited the awesomeness of King’s Cross. Wanting to get off the main road, I turned and walked onto a back street in search of the beautiful houses that were everywhere, remembering the road from my last walk. As I walked, the depression from earlier in the week crept back into my brain.
Fitting in was nice, despite the fact that most people were still carrying around horrible stereotypes about me, but I missed Savannah. I missed the city and the shops. I missed the music stores and reading in the afternoons in one of the numerous parks downtown while musicians played nearby. I even missed the bums and the panhandlers. I missed…I stopped walking in stunned disbelief. Speaking of music stores!
I read the sign to my right, which claimed the yellow house behind it was my typical place of worship. The small house looked more like a grandmother’s house, rather than an honest, wholesome, music store. Could it really be? It was irresistible…I had to check it out.
I walked up the stone path and crossed the porch to the front door, thinking I should knock on the pretty door. Instead, feeling awkward, like I was being bad, I pushed it open slightly and checked to see if anyone was around. A tall, skinny woman, with short silver hair, smiled at me from behind a tiny counter that was squished between sheet music and musical instruments. Her eyes were curious but kind.
“Hello, dear. Can I help you find something?”
Her thoughts were soft, but I could hear them as she played the guessing game she played with all strangers: I bet she listens to jazz and blues with a splash of rock thrown in. Those dark clothes don’t fool me. I know a jazz lover when I see one.
I stepped further into the shop, encouraged by her voice and her thoughts. “No, thank you. I’m just looking.”
She smiled. “Let me know if you need anything.”
I nodded, and she went back to reading her book. My eyes strayed around hungrily as I walked past her into the shop proper. The shop was perfect, the way a music store should look: messy, overflowing, and full of curiosities. I spied several expensive guitars hanging on the wall and I went over to survey them. One, a beautiful acoustic, stained a rich mahogany color, stood out from the others. I walked around the center aisle, so I could be closer to it, and touched it wistfully. I dared not play it. The price tag told me I could never afford it. I was saving my money for a car, and this guitar was the price of a used car. Despite my practical thoughts, I stood poised next to it for a long moment, fighting against the urge to play it.
A bell chimed I hadn’t heard when I first entered the tiny shop, breaking the hypnosis the guitar had put me in. I took away the hand I had placed there, not wanting to get caught looking so helplessly in love with a guitar. Turning towards the row of CDs that made up the middle of the small shop, I purposefully didn’t look to see who had come in. I didn’t want the attention, or the thoughts, though I knew the thoughts were inevitable. The woman asked the person same thing she had asked me.
“I know what I’m looking for, thank you,” a ridiculously melodic voice answered.
Doubting myself, I looked up to be sure. Daniel stood on the other side of the CD aisle as if he had never walked off, leaving me with his coat and a crap load of questions. He had a boyish smile plastered on his face, and his hands were jammed in his pockets in cool confidence. We looked at each other for a moment, and I noticed he seemed different. His face was more open and free, as if he’d found the key to a prison he had been walking around in.
“I think you’re stalking me,” I told him, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.
He’s a stranger, Clare, I reminded myself firmly. A stranger whose thoughts you can’t read…don’t act so natural around him.
His grin spread further. “What if I am?”
“I’d have to wonder at your tastes. Surely, there are people more fun to stalk? People who go to more places than just home and school?”
“And to music stores apparently.”
“I couldn’t resist.”
“You’re a fan of music?” he asked.
“You like breathing?”
“I suppose…”
Daniel started down the opposite side of the CD aisle, running his fingers lightly across the titles as he went. He was wearing blue jeans and a red t-shirt with a strange logo in the center. His hair was a different array of messiness, but still dashing. His face maintained an expression of happy confidence. What was he thinking? My eyes narrowed in aggravation at his impossible silence. I wanted to know where he had gone this past week, what his warning had meant – I’d take anything, even a malicious thought.
“How’s your week been?” he asked playfully. His eyes sparkled with the light pouring in through the narrow windows. Dust swirled in the light making everything hazy and dream-like.
Besides hunting down someone who wants me dead? Wondering where you were? And being frustrated at your cryptic warnings and mysterious ways? “Fine.” I bit my lip and looked at him. “Why’d you tell me not to go in the woods?”
“Did I?”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to go there?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
I looked over his shoulder and saw the woman watching us.  “Okay.”
He rounded the aisle, his fingers still brushing the CDs, and joined me on my side, shortening the space between us. I turned away and ogled the guitar, figuring it was the safer of the two to ogle. Not fighting the impulse, too distracted by him being so near, I reached out and strummed the strings. My heart lifted up a couple of inches at the sound it made. It was beautiful and pure, everything I had thought it would be. As the note faded, sadness replaced the warmth I felt. Something this beautiful and amazing could never be mine. It was too beautiful.
“Do you play?” he asked.
He moved even closer. He was so close our arms were almost touching.
“I used to.”
“But you don’t anymore?”
“I haven’t played in a while, no.”
“Why?”
“It’s always why with you.” This reply wasn’t good enough for him. He waited for me to answer, his face patient. “Fine. I just kind of lost interest. I figured, ‘what’s the point?’ you know?”
“Does there have to be a point?” he asked.
I shrugged and strummed the guitar again. “Purpose is good to have.”
I turned and started to walk to the front of the store, uncomfortable with the way his body was talking to mine. We were too close. His body was too familiar. The woman at the counter had disappeared into the back, giving us space. It was just us. That only increased the feelings coursing between us.
He followed me to the door and reached across to open it before I could. I wanted to take a step back from his overwhelming presence, but there was no room. He hesitated as he opened the door, his body trapping me. I had nowhere to go.
“But sometimes too much purpose blinds you to what’s really important,” he said seriously. “It makes you see the end result, instead of the journey to get there.”
“I can agree with that,” I said awkwardly.
His face shocked, he took a step back and held the door open for me to walk through.
“What? I can’t agree with you?” I demanded, glad for the cold air and the space.
“Of course, you can. It’s just strange for you to. From what I’ve gathered, you like to be contrary.”
“No, I don’t…”
“Right…Can I ask you a question?” he asked as we walked down the broad stairs.
“Only if you answer mine.”
“Deal. Why did you and your mom move here?”
I laughed. Was he serious? He was looking at me, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans again as he walked. He genuinely wanted to know. His eyes told me so.
I told him, hoping, trusting, he would keep the story to himself. “My mom is from here. This is where she grew up. She ran away when she was very young. She didn’t get along with her parents very well…her mom wanted a life for Ellen that Ellen just didn’t want. Beauty pageants and conforming…it just wasn’t Ellen…Her mom wouldn’t listen, so Ellen ran away. We’ve been all over the United States for…various reasons, and she hoped that coming back here would end our, uh, moving.” I had almost said running. “Her dad died about four months ago, and he left her the house in his will. It was sort of a major shock for us, because he hadn’t talked to her since she ran away…”
I trailed off thinking about the memories that were haunting her. I had found her last night crying over a picture of her parents. I had comforted her, and we had talked until late, but talking had only done so much. There were demons here she was facing every day. Demons I couldn’t face for her.
“But it’s hard for her to be here?” Daniel asked.
I nodded. “There are a lot of bad memories for her here, and more than her share of regrets.” I creased my forehead in thought, watching my feet as we walked. “But she needed to come back. It’s important to her. And if it means her dealing with things that have haunted her since she was young, then I can deal with being here. I owe her that much.”
“Why?”
“Ellen and I are worlds apart, but she tries to understand me. She lets me be me, even if she doesn’t always get it. And,” I sighed, playing with my necklace, “she’s always there for me. She would never abandon me, like my dad did.”
My eyes widened as the last words escaped. It was too easy to talk to him. It shouldn’t be that easy.  I looked at him, worried and afraid. What would Mr. All-star quarterback think of that? Was I right to think he would keep our conversation to himself?
His answer quieted my fear. “I can understand that feeling,” he said quietly. “I feel pretty thankful my parents didn’t abandon me like my birth parents did.”
I stopped walking. “You’re adopted?”
“I don’t think of it like that,” he said. “They’re my parents. They’re just not biologically mine.” He kicked at the ground then looked at me. “I would appreciate you not telling anyone at school about that. I haven’t told anyone.”
“I won’t say anything,” I said.
“I believe you.”
“Did you ever meet your birth parents?” I asked.
“No,” he replied. “Never.”
“Sorry…”
“Your dad walked out?” he asked back.
“I thought everyone here would know about that,” I said with a reluctant grin. How could he not know?
“I know what everyone else has said, but I don’t actually know the truth.”
He had turned to face me, his arms crossed. I was pleased I could quite literally stand up to him. He was taller than me, but only by a little bit.
“How people interpret the truth and the actual truth are two different things,” I agreed. I drew in a heavy breath then told him. “My dad left before I was born. Ellen was eight months pregnant.”
“Has he ever contacted you?”
“No. And I don’t want him to.”
“You don’t mean that.” He sounded sure.
“Yes, I do. Ellen is all the family I’ve ever needed. She’s there for me in all the ways that matter, you know?”
He gave me another funny smile. “Yes, I do know.”
We started walking again. But the feeling between us had changed. We were confidants, sharers of each other’s secrets. We were bound together by what we had divulged. I had learned something I hadn’t expected about him, but my curiosity still wasn’t sated. There was so much more I wanted to know.
“What are you really doing here if you aren’t stalking me?” A thought occurred. “Wait…I thought you were out of town?”
“Now I know you’ve been checking up on me.”
I made a face and he laughed, filling the deserted back streets with sound. “Which question would you prefer me to answer? The woods one, the stalking one, or the out of town one?” he asked.
“Can’t you answer all of them?”
“Nope.”
I contemplated my question of choice. “The woods one.”
He stopped walking and crossed his arms again. His foot made a staccato beat on the concrete. “There’s been an animal out in the woods recently. It killed a couple of bears. A Forest Ranger friend told me.”
“There’s something out there capable of killing bears?”
“Yes. So, imagine how you would fare if you went wandering around.”
“Point taken.”
“Where are we going, by the way?” he asked. He started to walk again, very obviously changing the subject.
“I need to give your jacket back to you. I had it at school on Tuesday, but you didn’t show up.” I waited expectantly.
He laughed. “Nope. Sorry. You’re not getting anything else.”
“That’s not very fair.”
“Life’s not fair.”
I agreed with him, but didn’t let it show. “Fine. Then you’re not getting anything else from me either.”
“Fine.”
I clamped my lips together resolutely at his words. There was no way I would speak first. I would win this little contest of wills. Just like our tennis game, I was determined to show him I could do it better. It was silly but irrevocably my personality.
In absolute silence, we crossed over to Main Street, avoiding the Friday traffic, and the kids cruising around in their cars. The thoughts I should have been hearing were quiet as we walked, mimicking our last walk together. There was just a warm wall of dark of silence. I had missed that silence.
When we got to the first small road leading towards my house Daniel caved in. I saw him glance at me, his amused smile transforming into a question. “Clare, remember when I said that you’re not getting anything else from me?” he asked seriously.
“Of course, I remember. That was like two seconds ago.”
“Well, I take it back.”
“You just figured out I could be silent longer than you,” I said.
“Maybe. Or, maybe I figure the only way I can ask you questions is if I let you ask me some in return.”
“Well, I do have a question,” I said.
“Just one?”
“No... Are you lonely?” I asked before I thought about it.
He stopped midstride, as abruptly as a person walking into a wall. From the expression on his face, I knew I had said something wrong. He didn’t give me the chance to speak. “You’re wondering why I want to be around you when I have a bunch of people at school I can hang out with. You think I have to be lonely to want to talk to you outside of school. You don’t have enough confidence in yourself to see that maybe you would be an interesting friend to have, and that, maybe, I’m not interested in hanging out with people so generic they make me ill.”
I crossed my arms defensively. I hadn’t asked for the reasons he had given, but now that he had brought it up…
“I have plenty of confidence in myself. I just don’t feel that same level of confidence in others. I’ve seen how judgmental people can be, I’ve seen how they view me, I’ve seen the kind of hidden agendas they carry around with them, and that makes it hard for me to think that, after meeting me twice, you would want to be my friend without wanting something from me.”
“What about Alex?” he demanded, taking a step closer to me.
“What about her?”
“You’ve obviously taken to her as a friend, why should I be any different?”
I thrust my jaw out pugnaciously, knowing the answer to that, but not able to admit it to him. It was because I could read her thoughts. I didn’t have that same advantage with him. It made me uneasy…for several reasons.
“It’s just different!”
“Because I’m a man?”
“Because you’re as uniform as the rest!” I said hatefully. He had cornered me and I resented him for it.
He looked up at me through his eyelashes, his irises turning completely black again. I swallowed hard, but kept my ground. His scary looks wouldn’t intimidate me.
“You should try getting to know me before you make those kinds of decisions,” he warned coldly. “And you shouldn’t judge people. It’s a sign of sloppy thinking.”
“I don’t judge people!” I exclaimed, my indignation overriding my fear and the oddness of the moment.
“You’re doing a mighty fine impression of it!”
We stared at each other in mutual anger, both of us unrelenting. My stubbornness didn’t last long. I thought about everything he had just said, trying to work past the burning emotion. Guilt started to rise to the surface. Deep down, I knew I was scared to trust him; scared because I was attracted to him in ways I’d never really been attracted to someone before. I could only see that leading me to pain and regret. I was scared because I was used to erecting barriers, not tearing them down. And, I was upset at how easily I saw him tearing those barriers down. My anger, a defensive reflex, had me putting blame on him. But I knew better. Surely, I wasn’t that infantile.
“I’m sorry,” I said finally.
He snorted in disbelief, though his eyes returned to green. I decided to be honest with him, knowing it would expose more of my soul to him. I wanted him to understand, though. It felt important.
“I am! I didn’t mean to judge you, it’s just, well, you’re right. I’m not used to people being this interested in my friendship. I’ve always been the island and the rock. I’m not used to letting other people be a rock as well. Letting them be the water that flows around me is more my thing.”
“That was sort of poetic in a, ‘you need some help,’ way,” he said, his angry face melting into a boyish grin. He turned away and started walking, forgiving me easily. I hurried to catch up, feeling glad he wasn’t holding a grudge. “And to answer your question, I feel totally and completely alone. Every single day is a fight against that loneliness. Even around my family…it’s there.”
There was something familiar about his words, familiar because I felt the same way. I felt my opinion of him shift.
“Well then, I think we should be friends,” I said.
He started laughing. “I thought it first, remember that.”
“Yes, but I said it first.”
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
I hadn’t realized we had made it to the front door. I blinked and looked back at my porch I didn’t remember crossing. “What are you, a vampire?” I asked dryly.
The memory of his black eyes flashed in front of my eyes.
“Come again?” he asked.
“Vampires have to be invited in to your…. never mind,” I trailed off not wanting to give away mine and Ellen’s horror novel addiction.
“I won’t come inside unless you’d like me to. A gentleman waits for an invitation.”
I dug the key out from under the mat and opened the door, gesturing grandly for him to enter. “After you, sir.”
“Thanks.” Daniel crossed the threshold, and, when the earth didn’t collapse, I shut the door behind us. “Can I ask you a question, then?” he asked.
“Sure.”
“Did that hurt?”
He turned and pointed at my nose ring. I laughed at his randomness.
“Not nearly as bad as the tattoos did.”
“You have a tattoo? Wait…tattoos in the plural?” He followed me, walking right on my heels as I made my way to the kitchen. “Seriously, do you have one? Where?”
I shrugged and didn’t answer, enjoying the fascination in his eyes as I turned around. “I’ll get your jacket. Wait here.”
“Okay.”
I took the stairs two at a time, almost jogged down the hall, and took the second set of stairs in three leaps. I picked the jacket off the window seat and shook it out, hoping it didn’t look like I’d used it for a blanket the entire week. I was about to turn away from the window, the jacket over my arm, when I noticed a slight movement in the trees. I set the jacket down, my curiosity too much, and put my knees on the cushion, so I could see more of the forest. There was another flash of color, and I realized I was witnessing something running through the trees – something black and insanely large.
The hair on my arms and neck rose in alarm. The shape disappeared, but it left me with a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was just an animal, I told myself firmly, trying to calm my racing heart. It was just a deer. Only it was way too large to be any animal I’d ever encountered. They didn’t have polar bears in these parts did they? Big, black, randomly fast polar bears…I set my feet on the hard floor and ran down the stairs, not wanting to keep Daniel waiting. But the woods, particularly with Daniel’s warning, were starting to freak me out.
When I got back to the kitchen, he was next to the stove casually leaning against the counter as if he had not only built the counters, but had handpicked the materials that went in to building them. He looked at me solemnly as I appeared in the doorway, his face a study in innocent detachment. I gave him a suspicious look, feeling I had just walked in on him doing something bad. The memory of the animal faded from my mind at the sight of him, though the goose bumps lingered.
“What?” I asked suspiciously.
He blinked once, his face maintaining his study in innocence. “What?”
“You’re up to something.”
“Me?”
I held out the jacket for him to take. He took it slowly, and I noticed he was being careful about not touching my hand, or any other part of my skin. Maybe he thought my weirdness was catching? Or was it for another reason? We stared at each other, waiting for the other to break the silence first.
He finally relented, seeing my obtuseness. “All right, I was looking though this, which I thought you might not like.”
He reached behind him without looking. With one long finger, he dragged around the small flowery book I kept by the stove at all times. It was mostly filled with cooking ideas and recipes I wanted to try out on Ellen, but it also had song lyrics, random ideas and poorly written poems. It was the closest thing to a journal I kept. I felt the blood rush to my face. I grabbed it off the counter and cradled it to my chest protectively. “This is private!”
“I had to run down a street naked once,” he said quickly.
“What does that have to do with anything?!”
“I thought you might forgive me for looking if you knew something embarrassing about me.”
“It’s only embarrassing if you were embarrassed,” I said.
What could he have to be embarrassed about? I looked him over again, the heat in my face intensifying.
“I had to run past a nunnery, and the nuns just happened to be walking to the local school for a fundraiser. They saw everything God gave me, so yes, I was embarrassed. I couldn’t walk down that street for years without feeling ashamed.”
I thought about it for a moment. “Then I forgive you.” I said.
He grinned, and I started laughing at the expression on his face. He joined in, and our laughs somehow merged into a seamless harmony that was as beautiful as it was daunting.
“I think I should go,” he said as our laughter trailed away.
“Oh…Okay.”
I didn’t want him to leave. For once, I wasn’t lost in my head worrying about a million things or being drowned by other people’s thoughts. It felt normal. I didn’t have to be alone to feel like I wasn’t a freak of nature.
I didn’t want him to leave for another reason. He made me feel good. I could argue and laugh with him in the same breath. I’d never known someone I could do that with. It was something that fit my personality perfectly.
“I promised to help a friend with her new toy today,” he said quickly, his eyes locked on my face.
Could he see the disappointment on my face? I fixed my expression. “Toy?” I asked.
“She just got a motorcycle. I promised to help her make it even more of a monster on the road.”
She?
“You know how to work on cars?” I asked rather than ask about the mysterious “she.”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “My parents encouraged me from a young age to look at why and how things run. It’s carried over into a lot of things, including cars.”
“Do you think you could show me some things?” I asked hopefully. “Our car is always breaking down, and it’d be nice to not have to take it to a repair shop all the time. It can get kind of expensive, and if I knew how to fix it...”
He gave me a funny look.
“What?” I asked.
“The way you talk, it’s like you’re the parent.”
“I feel like it sometimes. Ellen is wonderful, but she’s impossibly flighty, irresponsible, and forgetful.” I gave a small laugh. “She hasn’t even learned to turn the stove on yet, and we’ve been here a week. But… I look after her. It’s what I do best.”
He stepped into my space. “You shouldn’t have to do all the looking after. It’s not fair.”
I swallowed heavily at the seriousness of his tone, wondering what he meant. He changed topics, but his intensity didn’t waver, mainly because he was still so close. “And anytime you want to learn about cars, I’d be willing to show you.”
“What about this weekend?” I asked it quickly, before I lost the nerve.
“That sounds fine. Tomorrow. I’ll come by around eleven.”  He stepped past me and into the hallway, brushing my shoulder with his. “Bye,” he called as he disappeared through the front door.
“Bye,” I called back, knowing he couldn’t hear me.
I took a deep breath. Then, for absolutely no reason at all, I started laughing. It was like I’d been bottling up all my emotions, the good feelings that he inspired, to celebrate when no one was around. I sat down at the round breakfast table, clutching my recipe book, laughing to an empty room as the light streamed in through the many windows, illuminating my face.
When Ellen came home, I wasn’t sure if it had been ten minutes or ten years, but I knew I’d been changed.


Chapter 6


I heard Ellen drop her things by the front door and make her way to the kitchen whistling a happy tune. I could tell that her mood was soaring. Images that I assumed correlated to her happiness flashed through my head, but she was flitting from one idea to the next too fast for me to follow. Her good mood made me feel even better in mine. She paused in the doorway when she saw me sitting at the table grinning stupidly to an empty room. Her happy tune ended mid-whistle.
“What are you doing?” she asked taking off her shoes slowly, her sunny face worried.
“Sitting at the table.”
Her eyes narrowed at my response. I recognize that look!  She’s met a boy!  Wait, can she hear this?
“Yes, she can,” I said tartly.
“Well?” she demanded, opening the refrigerator to get a drink.
“I’m going to call Alex,” I told her.
“Why?”
“So you can’t ask me any more questions.”
Cheater! I’m glad she’s found Alex. Sam wouldn’t raise his kid wrong. A vision of her at the office, at her desk, floated through my head. Sam walked up and they started talking. No, it was beyond talking, it was flirting. Then the vision changed, and I knew I was witnessing a daydream.
“Mom! Rated R!” I said to stop her from going any further.
Her eyes flashed to mine, and she blushed. “I can’t control what I think!”
“I know, but still…there are some things your children shouldn’t see…”
She blushed again and undid her hair, so she could hide her face. The light bounced off her brown hair, and I saw the highlights of red that I always coveted.
“You like him, then? Alex’s dad?”
Her pale face uncomfortable, she said, “Why don’t you go call Alex?”
I stood and started out of the kitchen. “I think I will. And I think I’ll invite them both over for dinner next week.”
She followed me down the hall. “You wouldn’t!” she said.
“Why not?”
“Because…just because.”
“Mom, you haven’t been on a date since I was born. You like him. Sounds like he likes you. This way it won’t be awkward, and we can disguise it as something else if it goes monumentally wrong.”
“I don’t know, Clare. I mean, I work for him…I’ve known him since I was little and everything, but if it goes sour, I don’t know if he would be forgiving enough to let me keep my job.”
I paused on the bottom stair, thinking over her words. I turned and brushed back a strand of hair, which had fallen across her face. I knew I was about to cross a boundary, but I didn’t care. It had to be said.
“That’s not what’s worrying you. I know that you think about my father all the time, but you can’t keep waiting for him to come back. He’s not coming back. You need someone to make you feel like you’re the most important person on the planet. That’s what dating is about. I honestly think Sam would do that for you.”
“You make me feel important,” she answered.
“Not in the way you really need.” I touched her face, then started back up the stairs. “You only get one shot at this life, Mom, and you might as well live while you’re alive.” I paused again and turned back with a wicked smirk. “Plus, you need to sex up.”
“Clare! Watch your mouth!”
I grinned. “How does next Wednesday sound?”
She stared up at me with wide eyes but didn’t answer. I nodded at the hopeful tenor of her thoughts. “I’ll take that to mean it sounds fine.”
“Clare?” she called before I could slip away. “I know your father isn’t coming back. I’ve known that for a long time. It’s just that the thought of dating, of letting anyone that close again….” Terrifies me.
“What’s that thing you’re always telling me?” I asked.
“Dogs can’t look up?”
“No, the other thing.”
She smiled. “If you let fear rule you, you miss the moments of life that count.”
“Something like that, yeah.”
She rolled her eyes at me, getting the message, hating that I was turning her words back on her.
“I’m going to order a pizza and watch a scary movie. Come back down after your phone call,” she pointed a finger at me dangerously, “but only if you leave your dating advice upstairs.”
“Done,” I agreed.
Alex was ecstatic about the idea of playing cupid, falling in line with my plan immediately. We made all the arrangements, then spent the rest of the call talking about school. After my phone call, I went downstairs to find the pizza had gotten cold and Ellen was well into her movie. I took a slice of the cheese and spinach and joined her in the living room, where dead bodies and gore were piling up on the TV screen. As I sat, she looked over from where she had cocooned herself in a blanket to ward off any psychopathic, chainsaw-wielding murderers who might be nearby.
“I’m going to go into town tomorrow with Donna, do you want to come? We’re leaving around ten thirty.”
Donna was an old friend, also the principal of my school, who Ellen had recently started spending girl time with. I knew they were going shopping or something else equally as dreadful. I frowned at her. What were the chances of her leaving thirty minutes before I was supposed to meet Daniel? Was it coincidence? I brushed the strange feeling away.
“No,” I said, not looking at her, “I have plans.”
“With Alex?”
“Um.” Sometimes my superpower didn’t feel too super.
“Uh-huh,” she said. “Are your plans with this boy I’m not allowed to mention?”
I turned to her, wanting to explain suddenly. “He’s just a friend, Mom. He’s offered to show me some things about the car so we don’t have to keep taking it to the mechanic. But that’s all, I swear.”
Yeah...right. “All right. I’ll have Donna pick me up so that you and mystery man can have the car to bond over.”
“You’re awesome.”
“I know.” She smirked as she started on her fourth slice of pizza, her eyes returning to the gore on the television.

I sat down in the small, wooden chair in the kitchen. Then, I stood again, too full of nervous energy to stay seated for long. I paced the length of the kitchen, checking the clock every five seconds or so, feeling ridiculous. Ellen had already left, leaving me to anxiously anticipate Daniel’s arrival by myself. She had teased me before she left, her smug smile spelling payback for inviting Sam over.
I sat back down again. Then I stood.
What would Daniel and I talk about? Would conversation be as easy as it was before? Would he be freaked out I had asked him over so soon? I sat down again. He’d been the one to volunteer teaching me – did that mean he really did want to be my friend?
A loud knock came from the front door, and I jumped. I looked at the clock to be sure. He still had fifteen minutes. Was he early? Or was it someone else? I ran down the hall to find out.
I opened the door, trying to calm my racing heart and hopeful thoughts. Daniel grinned at me as he leaned against the doorframe casually. He was wearing a pair of jeans with holes in the knees and a simple grey shirt – work clothes. I smiled at him, glad he had come.
“I was thinking,” he said as soon as he saw me.
“I’m proud for you.”
I stepped around him and out onto to the porch, noticing there wasn’t a hint of winter breeze. The sun beating down on the porch actually felt good. The long sleeve shirt and old blue jeans I had thrown on suddenly felt too hot.  Had someone stolen winter?
“I was thinking you owe me for doing this,” Daniel continued.
“Is it really friend-like to extort someone for a favor?”
“Yes.” He circled around me and opened the screen-door for me. “In return for helping you grasp the mystery of all things car, I’d like to hear you play a song.”
I stopped walking. “Well, this was nice, glad you could drop by.”
“Come on! What harm could it do?”
“Tons.”
“Please?”  He smiled the smile I had seen him use on the girls at school when he was trying to get his way. I crossed my arms defensively.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
I looked at our brown grass, so I wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes and be tempted to give in. “Use your charm smile on me. I don’t like it. I know you’re used to getting your way when you use it, but it won’t work on me.”
I peeked up at him, to see if he had put it away. He had. In its place, he wore a funny expression as if I’d caught him doing something bad again. “You’re the first person to notice that.”
“Yeah, well, stop. You can use it on the others, but not on me.”
“But asking you to do something doesn’t work either!”
“Thems the breaks, huh?” I said, swerving around him.
“Please?” he begged again. He caught up to me and tried to assault me with the green pools of light he called eyes. He wasn’t trying to force me now. He was really asking. “Call it a friendly favor.”
“You can call it whatever you want, but it’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?”
“What if I suck? What if I’m not as good as your expectations? What if you think I’m the worst thing since the 90s?”
He started laughing at my comparison. “I promise to withhold judgment.”
“That is impossible to promise.”
His cocked his head to the side. “Why are you so definitive when it comes to things like that? Like you know what’s possible for people to think or not think?”
I shifted nervously and looked away. As I did, I spotted a black Audi parked behind the wagon. Eager to change the subject, I pointed at it. “Is that yours?”
His eyes were sparkling strangely, but he allowed the change of subject with good grace. “Yep. It was a birthday present.”
“Some birthday present,” I said, impressed.
I couldn’t imagine being able to buy somebody a whole car for their birthday. Maybe a cup holder, if I saved my money.
“You’re loaded, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Yes,” he admitted.
I had thought as much from the hints from others, but his confirmation stung. What did he know about saving every penny just to have food next month? What did he know about picking up the pieces of his life every six months or so, because his mom had lost her job, or simply felt it was time to move on, to avoid the unsavory characters of my world? We were too different. He would never understand the chaos of my world. It made me sad.
He noticed my expression. “You’re not going to judge me for that too, are you? I can’t help it, you know. It’s my parents’ money, not mine.”
“That’s what rich kids say,” I said. “But no, I won’t judge you for that. I’m done doing that to you.”
I opened the driver’s side door of the wagon and popped open the hood. In comparison to the sleek Audi, it looked like someone had spat it out of a garbage compactor, after running it over with a tractor on ugly day.
“Thanks.” He looked up at the cloudless sky. “I’ve arranged for there to be pleasant weather for our lesson, but I think we should start if I’m going to get anything through that thick skull of yours.”
“You arranged the weather? What? Did you have a conversation with God or something?”
He smiled and leaned forward, his midnight hair splashing across his pale forehead. My fingers twitched with the impulse to brush the hair back so that it wasn’t obscuring his face.
“Something like that,” he said with a smile that hinted at an inside joke. “You see this here? That’s the alternator and this,” he pointed to another part of the engine, “is the exhaust manifold…”
He continued listing off parts in a patient voice. I leaned over the opposite side of the car, listening carefully, cataloging everything he was telling me. I didn’t want him to have to tell me twice – a part of me was looking for ways to impress him. I focused on remembering and all my worry of not knowing what to say fell away as swiftly as the morning.
It was one o’clock before we stopped for lunch. Daniel heard my stomach rumbling almost as loudly as our old car and insisted we take a break. I hadn’t been keen to stop, but he had been pushy and stubborn. He sat at our tiny table while I made pasta salad.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” I asked again feeling rude for eating while he wasn’t.
“I ate a late breakfast.”
“You’re just afraid I can’t cook and you’ll end up poisoned.”
“That too.”
I heard a phone beep, and I peeked back at him from where I was draining my pasta. He pulled out his phone and pushed a couple of buttons. The message was not a happy one. His eyes went from playful and happy to shocked and angry in a single push of a button. The blackness circled for one long moment then disappeared as he shut his phone with a snap. I sat down opposite from him with my food. “Is everything okay?” I asked.
“No…” The sound of the door banging against the wall and quick footsteps down the hall cut off his reluctant reply.
His reaction was much quicker than mine. He jumped up at the sound, his chair hitting the linoleum floor with a loud bang as he found his feet. The tension rippling through him was palpable, and I realized I was holding my breath. In that instant I understood something about him. I saw a darkness I hadn’t seen before. It was a manifestation of the dark I had seen in his eyes.
After a second, which lasted an eternity, he relaxed and righted the chair he had knocked over. He sat down quickly and fixed his expression as Alex came running into the kitchen. He gave me a cautiously apologetic look, but I ignored it. I was too busy trying to understand his reaction.
Alex looked surprised when she saw Daniel, but she was too worked up to comment. “It’s terrible! Have you heard?!” she said as she collapsed into the chair next to me.
“I didn’t know you knew where I lived,” I said.
“Oh, don’t be silly, everyone knows where you live.” She paused, a thought occurring to her. “I didn’t mean to barge in, I just got excited…”
“You’re welcome to barge in any time you want.”
“Thanks. So, you haven’t heard?” she asked, her blue eyes wide with anxiety.
“I just did,” Daniel replied holding up his phone.
“Is someone going to explain?” I asked. The kitchen was silent, her thoughts blocked from my mind. The answers I should have been getting were nowhere to be heard.
“They just found a body in the woods off NC-12,” she said.
“Like a deer body?” I said hopefully, not wanting her to mean what I thought she meant.
“No. A man. Ryan Holt.”
“Was his death strange or something?” I asked, pushing away my food.
“Well, we have your typical deaths – car accidents, people freezing to death, fires, that kind of thing – but we’ve never had a death like this.”
“Like what, exactly?”
I started to hear a murmuring, and I recognized the sound as what had happened when I’d first started developing my gift months ago. The murmuring got stronger, and I heard:  It’s too nasty, I shouldn’t tell them. Poor, Mr. Holt! Poor, dear, man! I wonder what his sister and mother are going to do!
I looked over at Daniel. His eyes were distant, as if he wasn’t in the room with us anymore. Could I hear Alex, because he was distracted? If so, then my not being able to hear her was something he did consciously. But how could he unless…unless he was like me? I experienced a moment of panic. Perhaps he was just psychic, or some other kind of weirdness, I didn’t have a name for yet? That could be it…I knew, after all, that anything was possible.
I zeroed back in on Alex as she started talking again. “They found him almost torn apart. They think it might have been an animal, because a human just wouldn’t be capable of that kind of violence. From the description I got from Jennifer, it was pretty sick.”
“Do they think it was the same thing that attacked those bears?” I asked. The image of the running creature just behind my house floated through my head. Goosebumps erupted along my arm. Had I witnessed Ryan Holt’s killer?
“They think it might be, yeah. The damage was the same. The Forest Ranger is completely stumped. She says the markings don’t match any animal she knows of.”
“Maybe, it’s bigfoot,” Daniel said.
I laughed and looked at him. His eyes weren’t distant anymore. I concentrated, and found that Alex’s thoughts had been drowned out again. One day, when I didn’t think it would give my own secret away, I would have to ask him about that.
“That’s not funny!” Alex chided him. “Somebody is dead, ripped to pieces!”
“Sorry.” He didn’t sound very sorry. I wondered about the nasty look on his face.
My eyes on Daniel, but talking to Alex I said, “Who was Mr. Holt? I mean what did he do for a living?”
For some reason, I felt like this mattered.
“He was a retired Army Ranger. He’d been on disability for a while, because of a bullet in the knee. He’d been really depressed, but he was just starting to turn his life around. I talked to Jennifer, whose Mom knows his sister, and she said he’d just quit drinking and had found a job with the sheriff’s office.”
“He worked for the sheriff?”
“Yeah. Sheriff Cobb. You can see why it’s all over town.”
“And you had to help spread the word?” I asked, wondering if I’d mistaken my initial judgment of her.
Her blue eyes met mine in cool annoyance. I’d never seen eyes so capable of making me feel like I was five-years-old and had just done something wrong. Even Ellen lacked that ability. “No,” she said. “I wanted to explain why I would be spending the night. Dad’s over in Asheville for the weekend, visiting my Grandma. I didn’t want to be at the house by myself. Not with a murderer wandering around.”
Her word stuck. Murderer.
“Sorry.”
“You’re forgiven.”
She smiled and looked between Daniel and me. Now that she had gotten the important news out of the way, I knew teasing wouldn’t be beneath her. She might not spread my interest to the school, but that wouldn’t stop her from making me uncomfortable in front of Daniel. I could see as much in her eyes.
“Pity I can’t stay the night too,” Daniel said preemptively, directing his words at Alex. He obviously saw the teasing coming as well.
“Ellen might flay me alive if you did,” I said.
“At least without your skin you wouldn’t have to worry about things like poison ivy or skin rashes,” Daniel said.
“But it would kill my complexion.”
“There’s an upside and a downside to everything in life, I guess.”
“Yeah, and you should avoid the downside if you can,” I said, thinking of my personal philosophy on life.  Endure the bad and celebrate the good, even if the good was miniscule. Ellen had taught me that.
“True. Do you think Ellen would flay me alive if I stood guard outside to make sure no scary monsters came to get you?” His tone was playful, but his eyes were serious.
“If you didn’t tell her, she probably wouldn’t care. I might get annoyed, though.”
“Why?”
I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t need to be protected.”
“Everyone needs protection,” he said softly. “Even me.”
“You have to learn to depend on yourself for your own protection.” I looked down at the table to avoid his eyes. “Besides, depending on others makes you weak.”
“No, it doesn’t. If anything, it’s a sign of strength.”
“Say you depended on others for everything then one day they weren’t there anymore. What would you do?” I questioned. “Wouldn’t it make you vulnerable, more apt to suffer? Depending on yourself prevents that kind of pain.”
“I see your point, but depending on people is what this life is about. Trusting someone with your secrets, and your life, that means something. I think being afraid to depend on others makes you weaker.” He thought about it for a second then added, “I do, however, think a person should choose who they depend upon with caution.”
“I guess, maybe, I’ve just had a hard time finding people worthy enough to depend upon.”
“Not even Ellen?”
“Ellen is different.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. It was obvious. “She’s my mom. And she’s Ellen.”
“Others can be just as supportive.”
“Not in my experience. Most people just care about what they can get from you rather than what they can help you through.”
“I hate to imagine the people you’ve met.”
“You really would,” I told him, thinking of dozens of people I had thought were my friends only to find them selling me out simply to join the Elite.
“Do you think you could trust me?” he asked.
The question felt like a natural extension of our argument, but then again, it didn’t. There was a pause as I contemplated my emotions on the subject. “You would be a likely candidate for trust, from what I know of you, but you’re nowhere near proving it to me.”
“I don’t think I could prove it to you.” Daniel knocked on the wood table. “Not a lot gets through.”
“More than you’d think,” I said contrarily.
He was about to retort when Alex purposefully coughed to remind she was still very much sitting at the table. I jumped, having forgotten about her. I noticed Daniel and I were leaning towards each other again, talking very close. I leaned away, putting her between us again. She was smirking as if we had just proved something to her.
“What?” I asked.
“I can’t believe you two have only known each other for a week. You bicker like an old married couple,” she answered.
Daniel and I exchanged a look. Did we bicker like that? He stood abruptly, and I thought from his body language he was resisting the urge to look behind him at the forest. Had she embarrassed him to the point that he wanted to leave? Would he take the apparently life-threatening forest over staying here?
“I think we should show Alex what bickering really is,” he said playfully.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Back to the car?” I asked.
“Back to the car,” he agreed.

It was quite late, past midnight. Alex and I had sat up talking about school and the man who had been killed. Daniel had left around four to go eat dinner with his family, a half hour before Ellen got back. He had waved at us cheerfully as he left, but I knew something major was bothering him. I hadn’t known him for long, but he couldn’t keep the emotions out of his eyes like he could the rest of his face. That was where I saw the truth of him.
Was he bothered by the man dying or something I’d done? We had bickered constantly as he taught me about cars, even going so far as to change Ellen’s oil for us, which, according to him, hadn’t been changed since the year the car had been bought. But we had both enjoyed that. Maybe he was upset that I wouldn’t play guitar for him. I looked past Alex toward the lonely, neglected guitar I had bought ages ago at a pawnshop. What would it hurt really? It would be a test to see if he would laugh.
Alex and I had a blanket stretched across our knees and tea in our hands as we sat opposite one another on my window seat. After discussing Ryan Holt’s death to the point of redundancy – the question of what killed him and how it was possible, remained unanswered – we moved on to lesser happenings, like Mark.
“I think Mark is angling to ask you out,” Alex told me as we looked out my window.
I chuckled dryly at her words. I was pretty certain he wanted to ask me out. I’d heard him thinking of different ways to ask since my arrival, but he couldn’t seem to pluck up the courage. He thought I was an easy catch, but he was also intimidated by me. What if I said no? What if the strange-looking new girl said no? His ego wouldn’t allow for the rejection. He was right to worry.
“I think so, too,” I agreed.
“What are you going to do?” I heard from her thoughts that she wanted to know how I was going to let him down. Somehow, she already knew I wasn’t interested in Mark. Perhaps, it was those x-ray eyes of hers.
“Simple military planning,” I told her.
“Huh?”
“A decoy followed by your basic flanking maneuver.”
“I still don’t get it.”
“Just wait until he asks me. You’ll see.”
“Today was very informative,” she said after a pause.
“How so?” I asked carefully. Alex had a way of springing things on me, mainly because she didn’t think about them first.
“Clare and Daniel sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-”
“Shhh!” I hissed, embarrassed. “There is no kissing. There is no sitting in a tree. We’re just friends, like I am with you. It’s no different.”
“Yeah. Whatever. I just know I’d love to be that friendly with him.”
“What does that mean?”
“He is adorable, and he is totally, irrevocably, interested in you.”
She looked back out the window with a smile, gratified that she’d made me blush. I battled the blush, accepting the fact I would be hard pressed to keep things from Alex. She saw too much with those baby blues.
Wanting to change the subject, hating that I hoped she was right, I brought up something I had noticed in the past week. Something I was curious about for multiple reasons.
“So…I noticed that everyone at school kind of treats you like a quick-stop counseling center. You’re always getting pulled to the side so someone can talk to you, and you’re expected to give advice. How’d that happen?”
“I’m sort of the unofficial school counselor. Everyone knows the real counselors don’t do diddlysquat. They think they do, but they don’t. The other kids just want someone they can relate to, someone to be nice to them. That’s me. I listen, and tell them what they already know or what they want to hear.” She lifted one shoulder slightly. “I got the job not long after I moved here. Once people started realizing what they told me didn’t get spread to the school at large.”
“Has a girl named Amanda come to you? I don’t know her last name. She’s in my gym class, mousy brown hair, glasses…”
I saw a vision of the girl whose jealous, angry thoughts I’d been hearing a lot of during my week.
“Yeah that’s her.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
I froze, realizing my mistake. The picture had formed in her thoughts.
“You didn’t? I swear I heard you say her name.” 
“Is this like the, ‘someone called you fat,’ thing?”
I laughed uneasily. “Do you know her?”
“I do. She hasn’t come to me, but then again, I wouldn’t expect her to.” Poor kid. Having to deal with a dad who’s an alcoholic most days and rabid fundamentalist the rest of the time…and what with everyone treating her like a second-class citizen because her mom ran away with the pharmacist, to get away from her dad…
“Why wouldn’t she come to you?”
“She’s shy. Besides, I think she resents anyone who she thinks of as popular. She used to hang out with Jennifer and Michelle, but they were the forerunners in ostracizing her because of… certain things that happened. No one pays her attention anymore, and I think she just kind of gave up.”
My temper flared. “Girls suck.”
“Not all girls, Clare. We’re pretty cool.”
“That’s true.” I frowned thoughtfully. “But if everyone comes to you, and you know everyone else would spread your secrets, who do you talk to?”
She shrugged and her eyes grew pained. A vision of a beautiful blonde woman floated through my head. I remembered Ellen telling me about Sam’s wife and cursed myself for the unintentional reminder. Alex’s mom had died in an airplane crash when Alex had been only six. The vision of her mom was enough to let me know that it still bothered Alex, despite her appearance of nonchalance.
“I have a journal I write in,” she said quietly, “and I talk to Dad about things sometimes. He’s understanding and gives great advice, though I can’t tell him everything. He is my dad, after all.”
“That’s not fair.”
She shrugged and her face lit back up. “It’s got me thinking I should be a psychologist. I could do a lot of good. The way people react to my advice…it’s a good feeling.”
I looked at her and started playing with my necklace, something I did when I was nervous or trying to think. “You can come to me about things if you want. I can keep a secret just as well as you can, and you know how I feel about people spreading stuff around. I can’t promise that I’ll have the best answer, but I promise to listen.”
I bet she could keep a secret… I’ve never had anyone offer to be my confessor before… “I might just take you up on that.” She smiled. “It means a lot you offered.”
She sat up and hugged me. I hugged her back, feeling an odd sense of sisterhood. At that moment, I wished she had been born my sister, that I had that connection to her. It was a strange feeling.
“Sure,” I said awkwardly.
She yawned as she released me, tired tears glistening in her eyes. “I think I’m going to bed.”
“I think I’m going to stay up and stare at the creepy forest.”
“Don’t let bigfoot get you,” she said, throwing back the blanket and heading towards my bed.
“I won’t.”
She rolled into the covers and clicked off my light, somehow knowing I didn’t mind the dark. Her breathing steadied and slowed as she drifted towards sleep. I settled into the blanket, wishing I had Daniel’s jacket back instead, and stared out into the night. As I thought about Daniel’s jacket, and his cool eyes, a warm feeling of being protected surrounded me.
I pressed my head against the cool glass and stared at the swaying trees. Even though the dark night and fierce wind battered harshly at my old house, I felt safe, feeling he was out there watching over me. Whatever monsters the darkness hid, they would not bother us tonight.


Chapter 7


“Do not shoot each other with the arrows. Do not point the arrows at each other, even to play around. If you do shoot someone, you’ll be suspended…” Coach kept listing rules, but I blocked him out. His disinterested voice made it easy.
We were in the gym suffering through a, “don’t-kill-your-classmates,” pre-archery speech. Apparently, there had been incidents in the past. I looked down the bleachers we were crowded on and saw Mark arm wrestling another football player. I rolled my eyes. I could see where any incidents, if they did happen, were likely to come from. Mark really should be listening.
“Does it say, ‘bad to the bone’?” Daniel whispered from next to me.
His breath tickled my neck with his closeness. I shook my head slightly and smiled softly. For the past three weeks, he had been trying to figure out what kind of tattoos I had, or if I really had any at all. I wasn’t about to tell him. It was too much fun making him guess.
“Is it a fairy?” he guessed again, also ignoring Coach.
“Is what a fairy?” Jennifer asked as she leaned conspicuously close to Daniel on his other side.
Mark had turned into something of a puppy dog, following me around whenever he could – when Daniel wasn’t around. Jennifer, not happy with Mark’s crush, was trying to get back at me by hitting on Daniel every chance she got. I wanted to explain that we were just friends, so she would stop but didn’t see what good that would do. Besides, there was the fact that every time she flirted with Daniel I wanted to punch something. Like her face.
Daniel smiled his annoyingly fake dazzle smile and said, “We’re playing twenty questions. You know…guess what object or thing the other person is thinking about?”
“Oh, I love that game!” she gushed with false excitement. “What have you guessed so far?”
“I’ve figured out that it is a mythical creature, which has figured prominently in several stories.”
My eyes widened at the lie. For multiple reasons. His lie was so natural and real-sounding that I had to wonder at his skill. Had he lied to me like that? His lie was also very close to the truth. He gave me a warning look, to keep me from saying anything that would give away the lie. He wanted to keep the tattoo thing between us, an inside thing.
“Did you ask if it had wings?” she whispered over the teacher’s droning monologue.
“No, but that is a very good question. Clare, does it have wings?” His eyes danced playfully with mine.
“Yes.” I replied pressing my lips together to keep from laughing.
“Does it blend in with people?” Jennifer asked intensely. She was starting to get into this, forgetting about being malicious in lieu of the search.
“Yes.”
“Are they good or bad?”
“They can be either or neither,” I said, shifting uneasily.
Jennifer was silent for a while as she thought about my answer. Daniel was looking at me funny. Knowing if I said it aloud Jennifer would comment, I asked him with my eyes what his deal was. He shrugged and looked down the bleachers. I eyed him carefully, but with his eyes on the bleachers, I couldn’t get a fix on his emotions.
Coach finally stopped talking, and directed us to go outside, where the archery targets were set up. We followed the others through the double doors and walked a sharp hill to the practice football field. The morning dew on the grass collected on our shoes as we walked.
“I don’t know what it is,” Jennifer finally said, admitting defeat.
“An angel,” a voice floated out of the crowd behind us. I turned and saw Amanda looking at me.
“That’s right,” I said cautiously.
She hadn’t responded to my attempts at conversation over my weeks of trying. She had moved away as soon as possible when I had tried to talk to her, her thoughts angry and annoyed at my attempts. Her mental insults about my depravity didn’t hurt as much as her thoughts that I was trying to be nice so that I could be mean later. I hadn’t gotten four words from her. Admittedly, I had stopped trying. If she wanted to hate me, I would let her. That was her choice.
“In the Bible, angels don’t really have wings. Cherubs do,” she said quietly.
“I didn’t know that,” I said.
Flicking her hair in agitation, Jennifer hooked her arm through mine. She pulled me in close, a confidant to her opinion. “Don’t mind her and her crazy opinions. Her dad spends all his time preaching crazy stuff to anyone who’ll listen, but I’m afraid the only person who cares is little Amanda.”
Jennifer’s face had turned ugly. I unhooked my arm from hers, so she couldn’t control where I was walking. Alex was the only one allowed to do that, and she knew when it was okay.
“But I do mind her,” I said through clenched teeth. “She’s a person.”
I didn’t like people telling me what to think. It was bad enough I had to hear their thoughts, but wanting me to join in on them? Thanks, but no thanks.
Michelle and Jennifer exchanged a look. I knew, despite not hearing their thoughts, they were thinking the same thing: regret for making me cool and letting me hang out with them.
Daniel gave me a warning look and casually threw his arms over both girls’ shoulders drawing them close. “My money says Mark shoots himself with an arrow. Who wants to take that bet?”
Both girls giggled and let him steer them to where Mark was already waiting at the targets, bow in hand. His excited face was comical against Daniel’s comment. Still seething from her awfulness, I watched them walk away. It was all I could do not to follow them and hit Jennifer right between her snobby eyes.
Watching Daniel steer them to the targets bothered me in another way. I was jealous he hadn’t touched me like that, that he hadn’t touched me at all, even though we’d spent a good portion of our time outside of school hanging out, including the past weekend – when Ellen had left to visit an old friend in Greenville. I was also grateful. Somewhere along the line, Daniel had picked up people skills that I lacked. Or rather, he had picked up the ability to please people, but not let them have power over him. It was another skill he possessed that I didn’t. I was more all or nothing.
Amanda walked next to me in awkward silence and, as Daniel walked ahead with the others, I was gradually able to hear her thoughts. This doesn’t mean she’s any different. She’s probably just luring me into something. I know how they can be. I used to be like that. I heard a mental sigh. Children always pay for the sin of the parent.
“I like your necklace,” I said, searching for something to say, wanting to take advantage of the fact she was speaking to me.
She looked down at her cross necklace she had unconsciously been playing with. “Thanks. My grandma gave it to me.”
How dare she talk to her! She’ll pay for that!
I stopped walking, shocked to hear that voice again after a month of silence. I looked around the field carefully, but couldn’t see anything that looked out of place. My heart raced as adrenaline surged through me. I had forgotten about the voice during my weeks here. I wondered if I had missed hearing it because Daniel was around so much, blocking out the others in that strange way of his, or if it just hadn’t been around. A revelation came to me. Could that evil voice have anything to do with the attacks, which were still happening, including a farmer’s entire herd of cows this past week? The voice was evil enough and certainly had murder on the brain.
Amanda stopped walking, concern coloring her face. What’s she doing? Did I do something wrong?
For the first time, I realized the mystery voice I had been hearing was male. Not only was it male, but something about the tonal quality was similar to Amanda’s voice. It was as if they had learned to speak in the same place.
“Are you okay?” she asked, fearing I would lash out at her.
I bent down and started untying my shoelaces. “Yeah. I think I have a rock in my shoe. You go ahead.”
She walked off and joined the rest of the class. I peeked behind me, feeling like the woods, which were utterly everywhere in this small town, were closing in. The vision of the animal I had seen running behind my house became superimposed over the woods I was looking at. Could that explain the thoughts? Was that what I was hearing? Could bears think human thoughts?
I could kill her now. I could kill her, and Marcus would never know it was me. He said to watch, to figure her out, but I’m done watching. There’s nothing to learn. I could make it look like an accident. He went through different ways of killing me. The thoughts trailed away, but before they did, I heard: Her very presence is an affront to God! She will pay for her sin!
I felt my stomach drop. Those thoughts meant me. They were just too close to the mark for them to mean anyone else. I looked around – wanting a reprieve from the hatred the voice was funneling my way – and saw Daniel looking at the woods as well. His expression was distant, and his eyes were narrowed.  Did that look mean what I thought it meant?
When he felt my eyes on his face, Daniel’s eyes dropped back down to earth. He smiled and gestured for me to take the spot next to him. Running to his side, I took the bow he was offering and pulled the silence and calm his presence brought around my brain. I wrapped it around me as added insulation against what I had just heard. Was it even possible for normal people to have thoughts that horrible? I took a deep breath to steady my trembling.
He leaned in close and whispered, “An angel? Where?”
I couldn’t help but smile, despite my fear. What would he say if I told him he was looking at one? Well, half of one.
“You’ll only find out by accident,” I replied.
“I could get the whole class involved in another round of the guessing game…”
I stuck my tongue out at him and knocked an arrow. Concentrating, I released it with a sharp “twang!” It hit the bull’s-eye.
“Nice shot,” he said. His face filled with macho superiority. “But this is how the pros do it.”
He raised the bow, took aim, and released, all in one fluid movement. The arrow hit dead center.
“Are you on magic pills that make you good at everything you do?” I asked grumpily.
I’d learned a lot over the course of our weeks together, including the fact that Daniel was practically perfect at anything he tried. There wasn’t a sport he didn’t play and a skill he hadn’t mastered. And – because I didn’t feel inadequate enough – if his parents weren’t so serious about him having the high school experience, he could be at Harvard by now.
His voice had laughter in it. “No. If I had magic pills, they’d do more than just make me good at sports.”
“What would they do?” I asked.
I released another arrow, trying for center and missing. Daniel shrugged and released his arrow. He didn’t even look at the target, but it hit dead center, almost in the same spot as the first one.
“They’d let me hear what people were thinking, they’d give me the ability to see the future, and they’d give me super hearing and super strength. They might even give me the ability to heal myself and breathe a long time underwater, if I was lucky.”
I turned to him, an eyebrow raised. “Is that all?”
“No, there’s more.”
“So, even though you’re super athletic and super smart, you’d still like to borrow some of Superman’s abilities?” I said, grinning.
“Of course, I would. Every guy wants to be Superman.”
“I second that!” Mark said. He leaned around Daniel to steal an arrow, not wanting to walk the distance to get his, and winked at me. “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No! It’s Mark!”
Daniel laughed that strange laugh, which never quite seemed to reach his eyes. “It’s a mutant! It’s an alien! No! It’s Mark!”
The girls beyond Mark laughed. Winking at me again, Mark turned back to his target. In an attempt at reclaiming his dignity, he started showing off for the girls. He flexed his muscles as he warmed up for his next shot. I rolled my eyes.
“I think you should be careful what you ask for,” I whispered to Daniel, so the others wouldn’t hear. “Being able to see the future would be awesome, but I think some of the other things could be very bad.”
“Like what?” he asked, not even bothering with the targets anymore. Coach was talking to a boy about the basketball lineup and ignoring the class entirely. The only way he would notice we weren’t participating was if a building blew up; if even that would get his attention.
“Like hearing what people think,” I said cautiously. “I think that would be quite a burden to have to bear. Imagine the silly and spiteful things people would think.” My eyes moved to Jennifer, Mark and Michelle.
“But I’d be able to control my abilities, so it would be okay.”
“Oh, I see.” I knocked another arrow to avoid looking at him. “Let me know how that works out for you.” I released the arrow with a spiteful snap.
“Do you think things like that are possible?”
I turned to face him. His face was thoughtful and serious. “Anything is possible, I guess,” I said, uncomfortably aware he was looking to start a conversation on the subject.
He was always looking for conversations like that, testing my ideas and perceptions every chance he got. I had come to expect as much from him, but I didn’t really want to talk about this. Not when it was so close to the truth. I didn’t want to lie. Especially since I knew he would see through whatever story I came up with.
Daniel took a step closer, bringing his magnetic field with him. “There’s a theory out there that people only use about ten percent of their brains,” he began.
“I know I do.”
He smirked then continued very seriously, “Imagine if they used even five percent more…What could they accomplish at twenty percent or thirty percent more? Could things like telling the future, or going back in time, or whatever, be possible if people simply used more of their brains?”
“I haven’t thought about it,” I said, despite being uncomfortable with the topic we were on. “But I think it’s an interesting idea. I think people spend a lot of their time not tapping into their true potential.”
“How do you think we could unlock that potential?”
“I don’t know, maybe by altering people’s genes? We know mutations occur; evolution is proof of that. If we could somehow tap into the genome and alter a person’s basic DNA structure maybe that would allow them to use more of their brain. Force a mutation, you know? If we alter it in the proper way, evolution would take over and people would start being born stronger, using more of their brains. We would have to be careful to trigger the right things, though, or else we could make monsters, or horrible diseases, or something else bad.”
“You have thought about it!” His eyes were very bright.
“Not really.” And I hadn’t. I had just spouted off my first thought without pausing to consider it. That happened a lot around him.
Daniel stepped even closer. I had to lean back to be able to breathe normally. “What if, instead of altering the genes through experiments, we altered the genes through basic inheritance?”
“How do you mean?”
“Someone who uses more of their brain mates and has kids. Their kids, because of simple genetics, would be born with enhanced abilities and strengths. And if those kids mated with other kids that used more of their brain…you get the picture?”
My heart skipped a beat. “Finding a person or people with those abilities in the first place would be the trick I think.”
“Sort of like the chicken and the egg dilemma?”
“Yeah. Which came first, the super human, or the super human powers?” I chuckled darkly.
Daniel didn’t join in with my laughter. His eyes were still sparkling with curiosity and interest. Then, he noticed Mark and Jennifer eyeing us curiously and moved away. We were silent for a while, shooting at the targets and listening to the people near us horsing off. I was frantically trying to figure out if Daniel somehow knew about me, if he had noticed me responding to someone’s thoughts. No, that wasn’t possible. I couldn’t hear people when he was around. I wasn’t comfortable with his talk about inheriting genes from super humans, though. It was too close to the truth.
My muscles tensed with a familiar fight or flight response. When people got too close to the truth, we ran. It was instinct now. It was what Ellen and I had spent over a decade perfecting. My stomach sank as I thought of Ellen. She was fitting in so beautifully here. She had friends, and Sam had been over twice more for dinner without me having to play Cupid. She had laughed more with him than I had seen her laugh in years. She was settled, finally able to relax after a life spent in one big move. She thought, hoped, our running was through. This place had turned into a refuge; had turned into a home. Could I take that away from her? Was it right for me to overreact to every innocent conversation? I didn’t want to be found by the others, but I didn’t like Ellen having to give up so much for my sake. It wasn’t fair to her.
Admittedly, I had more selfish reasons for not wanting to run.  I found myself liking King’s Cross. It was quiet and unabashedly remote, but there was a certain peace I needed. There was calm I had never experienced in the city.
I thought about Daniel’s parents and relaxed, my muscles unknotting. They were a plausible reason for his interest. They were scientists, so they probably talked to him about such things. From his vague descriptions, I gathered that they were constantly interested in the ‘why,’ always taking things apart to understand them. Maybe, they longed to take humans apart, to see how their brains worked.
“What’s your parents’ field of study?” I asked over the tension that had sprung up between us. I’d not asked him that yet.
He hesitated before releasing his arrow. “Genetics is their main focus, but they play around with all the fields. They love to invent things.”
“Ah.”
“Why?”
His face was twisted into a question, but his eyes were on the woods again. I wanted to ask him if he saw anything there. The evil thoughts I’d heard had come from near where he was looking.
Instead, I said, “I was just wondering why you would have such weird thoughts about superpowers and the like.”
“You think it’s odd?”
“Wanting to be more than we are is human nature, but dwelling on it doesn’t seem healthy,” I said seriously. “Especially when those things, as far as you’re concerned, aren’t possible.”
“Hm. Good thing I don’t dwell on it.”
“Back to the lockers! Leave the bows and arrows where you found them!” Coach called over the talking students, a look of disinterest in his bloodshot eyes.
I walked with Daniel towards the gym in mutually thoughtful silence. I sensed he didn’t feel like talking, but I didn’t take offense. Over our weeks together, we had developed a respect for each other’s silent moments.
Though we were silent, my mind was far from peaceful. I glanced back to search the woods for some sign of the evil thoughts and noticed Amanda, her shoulders hunched, at the back of the crowd. She was looking down, but something in the crease of her forehead worried me. It went way beyond thoughtful silence.
“Daniel?”
“Yes?”
“Do me a favor?”
“Yes.”
“Walk away.”
“Excuse me?”
“Just go walk up with the others about 100 feet away from me,” I said. “Please.”
I sounded strange, but I didn’t care. I needed to be able to hear. My gut was telling me it was important.  He walked off without a word, though his odd expression spoke volumes. The voices started swirling again, starting out muffled, but gradually increasing in volume until they were at normal level. I sorted through the visions and chatter until I found Amanda’s voice.
I’m just sick of all this. Why can’t I just have one thing that works out? She had broken her bow accidently and had spent the whole class unable to join the fun. Does God hate me? God hates me. He knows about my mother. He knows about my father. I’m being punished. Oh, what’s the point?
An image of a beautifully sheltered spot next to a large river floated through my head. I didn’t recognize it, but it made me feel uneasy, as if I had witnessed something horrible there. Before her vision changed back to thoughts of her next class, I noticed a small bridge with graffiti on it and a road made of dirt and gravel trailing along the edge of the water.
The poor kid really was depressed. Even though Amanda wouldn’t talk to me, and hated me for my ‘popularity,’ I wanted to help her. With Alex and Daniel as backup, I could probably get Jennifer to leave her alone and give her some peace from the teasing. Despite Jennifer looking and acting the part of the queen bee of the high school, Alex and Daniel were really the ones in control. Alex’s power resided in the respect everyone had for her, and her ability to keep secrets. Daniel’s power was because he was beautiful, charming, and quite possibly the most brilliant person to walk the school halls. Not that I was biased in any way.
I caught up with Daniel again as we were passing the large structure that housed the pool, my curiosity sated. I would find a way to help Amanda, even if she didn’t know I had a hand in it. It gave me purpose. The pool bordered the back of the school, flush with the woods and looked odd against the brick of the main buildings. It was a donation from Daniel’s parents, so he could form a swim team. I had heard he had led them to State. Go team.
“The Shadow was way cooler than Superman,” I said as if I hadn’t just forced him to walk away from me without an explanation.
He stopped abruptly and ran a hand through his hair. His face said I’d caught him thinking about something especially serious. He hid his gravity with a mocking smile. “Where on earth did you get that reference from?”
“Oh, come on! You don’t know who the Shadow is?!”
“The superhero off 1930’s radio. His superpower was hypnosis. He could make people not see him, in effect turning invisible,” he answered promptly.
“What evil lurks in the heart of men? The Shadow knows!” I said in a deeply dramatic voice. “You do know him, then?”
“Of course, I do, but how do you know about him? 
“Why can you know about him, but I can’t?” I asked.
“Because I’m into that type of thing, and you’re not,” he said calmly.
“You’re into science fiction! Ha! I wouldn’t have figured you for it!” He didn’t rise to my teasing, just waited patiently. I hated that tactic. Mostly because it worked so well. “I went through a phase where I listened to nothing but old radio broadcasts. The Shadow was one of many programs I liked. That was also when I fell in love with Jazz and Orson Welles.”
I waited for him to make some kind of teasing comment, to continue our banter, but he didn’t. His eyes had gone distant and strange, our conversation obviously not his top priority. The others had pulled ahead of us, leaving us to the solitary company of the pool. I knew we were going to be late to our next class, but I wasn’t worried. Being late to class wasn’t exactly new to me, and Daniel’s expression – a far-away stare – was something I’d seen him doing a lot. It made me curious. I had shut off a lot of the questions I had about in him in lieu of being his friend, but I couldn’t shut them all down. He was still a curiosity to me.
I stepped closer, totally engrossed in the play of emotion in his eyes. I hadn’t registered until now how strange – otherworldly – it made him look. A familiar swirl of inky black swelled up and covered his green irises for a long moment. A vein throbbed in his temple at whatever he was thinking about. His eyes cleared, and he turned abruptly. He opened the pool house door with a jerk, the metal groaning in protest at his touch.
“Get in!” he demanded, his free hand clenching into a ball.
“What?” I balked at the door, not understanding. I’d never seen his face so intense…so terrified.
“For once, don’t argue with me!” he said fiercely.
Angry at his tone, but aware of his fear, I walked through the door. “What’s your problem?”
The words were barely out of my mouth when everything went from mildly strange to incredibly deadly. Without warning, a ball of fire surged towards us from directly outside the door we had just entered. It was coming out of nowhere and fast. I gasped in astonishment. My brain stopped working. I knew I should move or try to duck, but the shock had me frozen in place. How did fire come out of nowhere?
Before I could react, Daniel reached forward and wrapped one arm around my waist. My hands slid around his waist in reflex, my heart pounding harder at his touch. The fire roared at us, shattering the glass. Running out of space, Daniel threw us backwards into the pool. We hit with a loud splash and all the air surged out of my lungs. With Daniel’s added weight, I sank to the bottom very quickly. His hand under my head was the only thing that kept me from hitting my skull on the hard concrete.
I didn’t move for a second, dazed, my mind trying to catch up to the situation. Awareness came with a flood of panic. I struggled against the weight and the panic. Water rushed into my mouth at my frightened scream. I tried to kick back to the surface, back to air. Daniel held me down, though, not allowing me to kick off. More air bubbles escaped with my curse. Was he trying to drown me? Even as I struggled, I knew I couldn’t fight against him. He was too strong. I felt his strength as he held my arms. His eyes met mine, and he pointed up for an explanation. The top of the pool was completely on fire.  We had no other options.
I looked at him, pleading with my eyes for him to help me, instinctively knowing he could. Even though the pool was chaos and the chlorine made everything fuzzy and distorted, I could see his eyes clearly. They stood out like a beacon of light. As my plea reached him, they softened.
He moved closer, pressing his body into mine. He leaned even closer and gently pressed his lips against mine. Air surged into my mouth as our lips met. I gasped, not because he was acting like a human air tank and I could suddenly breathe, but because of the visions swirling around my head. I closed my eyes and let him give me oxygen, the visions demanding that I watch.
I saw a small boy wandering the streets of New York, but it was a different New York than the one I knew. It was dirty and dank, the glass buildings and outrageous high-rises nowhere to be seen. The tiny boy begged and stole in order to survive. He was very good at surviving; he was a master of thieving and telling lies. He was a creature of the streets, a product of abandonment and abuse. My heart clenched at the idea of so young a person facing the harsh violence of streets so indifferent and cruel.
I saw the same boy, a little older, fighting to protect his friends who were getting beaten up for their food. But he was unable to save them – he was too small, too weak. I saw him become bloodied and bruised as he was beaten almost to unconsciousness. A tall woman with auburn hair that framed her round face perfectly appeared on the dirt street like a shimmering mirage of hope. The boy stared at her even as the other boys kicked him brutally. His eyes begged her to help him. She came closer, her appearance scaring the older boys off. The boy noticed her eyes darken at the sight him lying there, but the darkness cleared as she caught eyes with him again. The woman smiled at the battered boy and whispered reassuring words as she picked him up from the ground. She didn’t see his friends hiding in fear around the corner as she walked off with him cradled to her chest.
Her words promised the boy a new life. She kept her promise. The boy flourished under the woman’s loving attentions, his days on the streets ending as suddenly as daylight in a cave. It was a time of peace, the sort of peace he had never found on the streets.
I felt his heartbreak when he got word that a boy he knew on the streets, a boy he had thought of as a brother, had been murdered. The boy had grown, but he was still young, still close to his life on the streets. The darkness threatened to engulf him. He wanted retribution. He wanted blood.
Was life only pain?
The vision disappeared.  I opened my eyes blearily, trying to focus on my location. Was I in the past or the present? Daniel’s face blurred in and out of my vision. His eyes were the same eyes of the boy I had seen. The faces merged in my brain. I blinked again and cleared away the confusion.
The pool was in ruins. The door and its connecting wall had fallen from the blast. Rubble lay everywhere. Daniel and I were on the face of the pool, our bodies bobbing in time to the water. He was no longer breathing for me, but I felt tied to the rhythm of his breathing as if he still was. He was gasping heavily, harder than I was. Patches of the water still danced with fire, but he had brought us up in a clear spot next to the edge. He forced me to take hold of the edge, which I did out of instinct.
How long had we been down there? Seconds? Days? Years? The visions swirled around my brain. I felt again and again the pain and the fear, the longing and the regret. It was like a knife cutting into my heart. Not able to help it, I started crying. I’d never been one to cry. Being serious and dependable meant not crying or acting like a baby when things went wrong. I’d learned to fix problems rather than worry about them. It had toughened me. But now, I let the tears come, feeling a sense of release around the pain in my chest. It almost felt good, as if being out of control wasn’t as unbearable as I thought it would be.
Daniel wrapped one arm around me and pulled our bodies together. I resisted at first, not wanting to see those visions again, but he carefully kept a layer of fabric between us.
“I’m sorry. It was the only way…It was the only way.” he whispered into my ear over and over again.
I couldn’t answer. I was too busy crying. He rested his chin on my shoulder and let me cry.
I sniffed into his wet shirt and asked, “Was that you?”
He pulled away slightly, so he could look into my eyes and gauge my reaction. “Yes.”
What did I say to that?
I heard the sound of screaming, and pulled away from him to find the source of the noise. Through the destroyed wall, I saw kids from our gym class, as well as various teachers, running across the grassy slope towards us. I pulled away for another reason. I wanted Daniel to kiss me again, and I didn’t like feeling that way. Not when he’d just thrown a whole pile of weirdness at me. He released me reluctantly.
Sighing, he pushed against the edge of the pool and lifted his body out of the water. Water dripped off his clothes and hair onto the cement ground, the sound incredibly loud to my alert ears. His eyes moved to the woods surrounding us, and his face contorted with anger. I was too tired to focus on his anger. I would think about it later. I would think about everything later. Wanting to get out of the cold water, I tried to climb out, but discovered my arms had turned to jelly.
“What are you doing?” he asked, refocusing on me as I pulled my exhausted body towards the small rung of stairs at the other side of the pool.
“I can’t pull myself out,” I said irritably.
The feelings that had been forced on me were starting to fade. Worry and my own fear crawled up in my chest, making it feel tight and hard to breathe. That feeling made me irritable.
“That happens too.” He offered me his hand to take. I looked at it, not trusting what our touch could do. “It won’t happen this time. I’ve got it under control.” I still didn’t take his hand. “Trust me?”
His emerald eyes were impossibly vulnerable. In those eyes, I saw the boy I had befriended rather than the mystery of what had just happened. I reached out and took his proffered hand, hoping my instinct was right. He pulled me out, his arms barely contracting with the effort. There were no visions this time, but our touch created a spark of electrical feeling between us. I dropped his hand as people started to swarm through the broken wall, shouting questions and contradicting orders.
“Clare, do you like me?” Daniel whispered.
“Is this really the time for that discussion?”
His face was serious, but I could see a hint of his boyish smile. “It’s important.”
“Do you like me?” I countered, not wanting to answer.
“I asked first,” he said.
“Why are you asking at all?”
He leaned towards me, talking very quickly. “Because I’m going to lie my ass off, and I need to know that you like me well enough to lie with me, or at least keep your mouth shut.”
“I have questions,” I warned.
“So do I,” he retorted, mocking my tone.
I made a motion like I was zipping my mouth shut and locking it. Then I handed him the pretend key. He pocketed it.
The others had finally reached us. Their questions were immediate.
“What happened here?”
“Are you okay?”
“Did a bomb go off?”
Daniel had his best charm smile on. He looked up through his long lashes – a look he knew was attractive – and the people surrounding us stopped talking to listen. With his voice full of just the right amount of fear and excitement, he started to explain. “We didn’t see what happened. We just heard this noise, and the next thing we knew we were in the pool.” He gestured down at his wet clothes. “I think the blast knocked us back. It probably saved our lives.”
Jennifer forced her way to the front of the crowd. “But what blew up?”
Daniel shrugged. “We just felt the blast. We didn’t see what did it.”
I nodded. I didn’t have to lie to agree with him on that. Whatever had caused the fire had come out of nowhere.
“Come on, let’s get you guys out of here,” Coach said, his tired voice not even excited.
“An ambulance is on its way, Coach!” Mark yelled as he ran up. He held a cell phone in his hand. He was enjoying the drama – almost as much as Jennifer was.
“We don’t need an ambulance!” I protested. “We’re not hurt.”
“You just got blown up!” Jennifer argued. “You need to be checked out!”
“We weren’t even touched!”
“Don’t argue,” Daniel whispered into my ear.
“But…”
“Don’t. Argue,” he said spacing his words so they became a command.
I clamped my teeth together and glared at him. I would make him pay for taking that tone with me. But would I? Would I continue our friendship? I wasn’t ignorant to the many things in this world that were strange and peculiar, but I had never heard, nor seen, anything like what had just happened. Fire coming out of thin air, Daniel breathing for me, those visions, the way his skin had felt; they all added up to something other. And in my world, ‘other,’ meant danger. He was dangerous.
I was overwhelmingly thankful he had saved my life; that he had risked his own life to save mine, but at what cost? Would there be consequences? Was he like me? If he wasn’t, what was he? If he was like me, did I have to start running again? Was anywhere safe?


Chapter 8


The paramedics gave us blankets and told us to sit on the front steps of the school until the deputy sheriff said it was okay to go. After a thorough examination, and many incredulous questions, they were convinced we weren’t about to die. I was glad. Dying wasn’t on my to-do list. Although, neither was getting blown up or having my new, but intense, friendship tested by said explosion. The paramedics had told us we were lucky, that whatever had burned up had been hotter than anything they’d ever experienced. I had nodded in bemused agreement, knowing luck had nothing to do with it.
As we waited, emergency workers, faculty members, and students swirled around us in a strange dance of activity. I had trouble focusing on any one thing in particular, my eyes not cooperating.
“Are you okay?” Daniel asked, leaning close so he could whisper in my ear.
“Define okay.”
“Not about to pass out or otherwise slide into unconsciousness.”
“I don’t know,” I groaned, thinking unconsciousness would be a welcome relief.
“Do you want to go?”
“They told us to wait,” I said.
“I can take care of that,” he said confidently.
“How?”
He lifted the small rock he had been playing with to my eye level. He made a dramatic motion with his other hand and the rock disappeared. “Magic.”
“Show off.” I found his eyes. “It’s in the palm of your other hand, by the way.” 
I didn’t want him to think I missed anything, or that I couldn’t see through his magic. He chuckled, and braced himself to stand, throwing the artfully concealed rock onto the ground. He stopped before he walked away and gave me a funny look. “Your hair is longer than I thought.”
I ran a hand through my hair, realizing that my normal spiky look had disappeared. It was down to my ears now, scraggly from the weight of the water.
“Oh, yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Is that good or bad?”
He shrugged. “Not everything is good or bad, some things just are. But yes, I like it.”
I made a face at him in response, thinking he was teasing me. Another round of tiredness swept through me. I looked up at him, aware that his charm could get the cops to let him do anything.
“I think you’d better hurry with whatever magic trick you’re going to pull.”
He nodded and walked across the grassy lawn with the alien grace that hinted he was more than just your typical hot football player. As soon as he was far enough away, the buzzing started up again, increasing to the point where it was overwhelming. Wanting a distraction, I picked up the rock he had discarded and started playing with it. It didn’t work.
He’s so cute.
I can’t wait to get home and tell everyone about this. I hope they don’t already know…
I don’t see how they made it out of there without a scratch. Bob said the fire was hotter than anything he’d ever seen on the job.
What were they doing down there together, I wonder?
Does he like her? How could he like her? She looks like a guy. Well, her face doesn’t, but she’s got short hair. I looked over and saw Jennifer staring at me. The sound of her gnawing on her jealousy would have been funny if I hadn’t been so tired.
If it was me, no one would’ve cared. If it was me, they would have just let me burn. Why couldn’t it have been me? I looked to my other side and saw Amanda staring sadly. Her thoughts were like a punch in the gut.
Two other voices, a man and a woman, swirled up. It was obviously a conversation from…somewhere.
Were you able to find anything out about what killed Ryan, Shawn?
Deputy Greene, Mom. And no, we haven’t found that thing that killed him. We’ve been searching the woods top to bottom.
What does the Sheriff say?
He’s doesn’t have a clue either. He’s got some hunters over from Macon County to search for any signs of the creature, but they haven’t turned up anything yet.
He was a friend of yours right?
Yeah, he was a good man.
More voices and conversations swirled around me. I started rubbing at my forehead, trying to shut them out. “Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!” I said quietly to the voices. They ignored me.
One overrode the rest. Oh, God, she could have been hurt! Where is she? There! Thank goodness!
I looked past Amanda, who was still staring, her thoughts a mess of depression, and saw Alex running towards me. She threw her arms around me when she got to me, hugging me close. “Don’t do that!” she chided.
“Do what?” I started laughing weakly, the voices still dancing in my head.
“Get blown up!”
“I didn’t do it on purpose!”
“I know.”  She released me. “Are you okay?”
“I feel drained,” I told her honestly, “but otherwise unhurt.”
“What happened?” Her eyes were a curious mixture of confusion and understanding.
“You know about as much as I do,” I said uneasily.
A lot had happened that I couldn’t tell her. It wasn’t just my secrets I was protecting, not anymore. And I would continue to protect those secrets until I had cause not to.
“Did they let classes out?” I asked.
“Yeah, a building blowing up kinda puts a damper on lessons…They’re saying you were at the pool with Daniel when it happened.”
“Are they?”
“Yeah. What were you doing down there?”
“Talking about pools,” I replied sarcastically.
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll just nag until you do,” she said.
I turned Daniel’s rock over in my hands. “We got into a discussion about Superman and the Shadow.”
“The Shadow? Who’s that?”
“Google him,” I said, too tired to explain.
“I will.” She paused pursing her lips.
That can’t be all they were doing down there. I mean the whole school knows Daniel has a crush on her. It’s pretty obvious. But I don’t know if she likes him back, not really. She’s so hard to read! I wonder if Daniel knows? I would hate for him not to act because she’s afraid of falling for someone. Should I say something? Would she get offended?
My heart missed a couple of beats. She was going to ask something else about what we were doing down there when she noticed my face.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I rested my head in the palm of my hand and stared at the rock I held, twisting it slowly. Was she right and he liked me? Or was she just seeing the charm?
She shrugged. Weird reaction. “Was that all you were doing down there?”
Beyond Daniel stealing a kiss, and seeing some strange vision, which could have been from his childhood, and a fire that came out of nowhere? “Pretty much.”
The voices in my head cut off as quickly as when I turned off the radio when rap was playing. I looked up hopefully. He was walking toward us, his face serious, his wet hair plastered to his forehead. In his hands, he carried our bags. I looked at mine curiously, knowing I had left it in the girls’ locker room. He hadn’t gone in there had he?
Daniel smiled at me, but his eyes were guarded. “They said we could go provided we go in tomorrow and give our statements.”
“Okay,” I said gratefully.
“How’d you do that?” Alex asked him.  She helped me stand, her breezy skirt billowing in the cool wind. Daniel didn’t try to help as we started walking towards the parking lot at the back of the school, avoiding the people who were assembled on the school’s hilly front yard. We both knew why.
“Magic,” I answered for him, pocketing the rock so he wouldn’t see I’d kept it.
“Huh?” She looked between the two of us, confused.
I shrugged, leaning on her arm for support. She moved her free arm to my waist, so I wouldn’t fall. Though Daniel didn’t try to help me, he kept a careful eye on us.
“How are you getting home?” Alex asked as we walked past rows of cars.
“I’m taking her,” Daniel said firmly.
“I thought so.” Alex smirked.
“I could walk,” I said.
“No,” they both said.
“You’re both bullies.”
“We know,” they said at the same time.
Grumbling at them, I suddenly wondered if the whole town had already heard about this and how I would ever get any peace after today. The thoughts would be everywhere; inescapable and overwhelming. What I had experienced on my first day here would be doubled, tripled even. Maybe I could convince Ellen into letting me home school myself. I stopped walking. What about Ellen? Would she be freaking out? How could I have not thought about her reaction?
Alex tried to keep walking, and I tried to stay still. I pitched forward from her tug and stumbled sideways, my exhaustion messing with my balance. Daniel dropped our bags and caught me before I could face-plant on the asphalt. I started laughing, feeling slightly giddy from exhaustion and the bizarre morning. His hands were gentle as he steadied me. There were no visions, but I didn’t notice. All I noticed was the way his electric hands felt on my skin. His touch released some of the awkwardness between us.
“Sorry,” I said, trying not to giggle.
“Have you gone insane?” Daniel asked.
“You can’t go insane when you were already insane to begin with. That would be redundant.”
“True,” he agreed.
I started walking again, ignoring their concerned looks. I suppressed my giddy laughter with effort, knowing it was a merely a reflex after the turmoil of my morning.
“I need to call Ellen. She’ll have heard about what happened by now. I know she’ll be freaking out. She’s good at freaking out. She freaked out over an A-HA concert once. My eardrums were sore for a week.”
“She freaked over an A-HA concert?” Daniel asked.
“Yes, yes, she did.”
We reached Daniel’s Audi, and Alex opened the passenger door for me. Daniel got in the other side and pulled a phone out of the glove compartment. He handed it to me without a word, offering me the chance to call her. I looked at the phone, wondering how he knew I never carried one. Ellen had bought me one, but I never could remember where I had put it last. Perhaps, he had noticed, or else he was just trying to be nice by letting me use his. Either way, I was grateful.
Alex smirked as he handed me the phone. “Have fun.” Before she shut the door, she gave me a stern look. “And get some rest.”
I stuck my tongue out at her as the door closed with a snap. She waved once before we pulled away, her face smug, as if she had just cured world hunger.
“This might take a while,” I warned Daniel.
“That’s fine.”
I dialed Ellen’s number and waited. When she picked up, she sounded breathless. She had heard about the explosion and had been on her way out the door to come and check on me. I told her that I was fine, that a friend was driving me home, and not to worry. It took me some time to convince her I hadn’t died, but I knew from experience all the right things to say to calm her down. Her fear lessened at my words, and she stopped talking at supersonic speed. At one point, I heard Sam in the background, and knew she had gone back to her desk to talk to me. I took that to be a good sign.
She still wanted to come home and check on me, but I told her that I would just be sleeping and that she didn’t have to miss work just because of me. Around the crying and the hysterics, she agreed to stay at work for a while, so I could sleep, but promised to check on me soon. I hung up finally and found Daniel staring at me.
“What?” I asked handing him his phone back.
“I thought you didn’t lie.”
“I don’t,” I replied.
He smirked. “That was a lie.”
“What am I lying about?” I asked defensively.
“You’re not going to sleep. You’re going to make me answer your questions; that’s why you didn’t want her to come home.”
I blushed as he turned off the car. We had been idling at the corner in front of my house, the heat blasting from the vents. The second he turned the car off, I remembered I was wet and tired, and really wanted a nap.
“Says the best liar I have ever met.”
“We’re not talking about me.”
“I do plan on sleeping, so that wasn’t a lie. Not telling the whole truth isn’t the same as lying though,” I explained.
“A lie is a lie,” he said seriously.
A motorcycle flashed past us in a roar of sound, cutting off my retort. The driver deftly pulled it along the curb in front of Daniel’s car and cut the engine. I noticed two tall figures on the impressive machine, both dressed from head to toe in black. As they stepped off the bike, Daniel’s face hardened, and he cursed.
“What?” I asked.
“Stay here for a moment.”
“You really need to stop bossing me around.” I crossed my arms, knowing how childish I sounded even as I said it.
Daniel looked daggers at me. He was obviously not in the mood. The dangerous look he was giving me – coupled with the wet hair plastered to his forehead – made his face look like a skeleton mask. The only thing that stood out from his bleached skull was his vivid eyes. The black swirled into the green ominously. I pulled back, afraid, more afraid than I had ever been around him. The car was suddenly a prison. What happened if the blackness won? He obviously was thinking along the same lines. The fire faded in his eyes and his face turned apologetic. “Would it help if I said, ‘please’?” he asked.
I controlled my heavy breathing with effort. “Yes.”
“Stay here, please.”
“Okay.” I didn’t try to argue. I was too scared.
His wet clothes squeaking on the leather, he opened his door, then slammed it shut again. He crossed in front of the car and went to meet two figures before they could approach the car.
The pair took off their heavy motorcycle helmets, and I was able to make out their features for the first time. It was a girl and a guy. The girl was the driver of the bike. They looked odd against the stark realism of my very normal old house. Mainly, because I had never seen people who looked so…inhuman.
The guy had shoulder-length blond hair, which framed his square face. His body was very tall and lean, but he looked overwhelmingly large – not just from his rippling muscles, but from the fact that his body never seemed to end. He had a demanding presence that was hard to ignore. I could only imagine how demanding that presence would be close up. I wouldn’t want to pick a fight with him any time soon.
The girl was as close to being a fairy as anyone I had ever seen. She had violet eyes and black hair, which hung to her waist in gentle waves. Like the man, she was very tall, but not nearly as large and never-ending.
They stepped over the curb and on to the short lawn of my house. Their eyes swept the neighborhood and Daniel’s car in dangerous alertness. The girl’s eyes kept coming back to me, as if I were the most dangerous thing on the block. The guy grinned at me as our eyes connected. The girl’s face remained expressionless, but her eyes circled with inky black.
Daniel stepped between them and me. I got the impression he was using his body as a buffer against what might happen in the coming seconds. Were they enemies?
After a moment, the girl stepped forward and raised her hand as if she was trying to give Daniel a high-five. Their hands met across the short space. There was a long moment where they stared into each other’s eyes, communicating wordlessly through their touch. Finally, she nodded, the black fire fading from her eyes. She dropped her hand slowly, her face changed. The anger had faded, but I saw an inexplicable fear. Avoiding my eyes, she tugged on the blond boy’s hand to get him walking.
Who were they? What was going on? At least none of the neighbors were spying on us today. They were all probably on their phones getting the news of the fire.
The guy winked at me, a mocking smile playing across his face, before he turned away. He playfully hit Daniel on the arm as he passed, saying something I couldn’t hear. Daniel smiled briefly, but didn’t reply. The guy and girl climbed back on the massive motorcycle and the girl kicked the bike to life. A second later, they roared off down the street, blasting by me. Daniel returned and opened my door. He offered me a hand to help me stand, but I didn’t take it. Wanting to support myself, I pushed against the door.
“What the hell was that about?” I demanded.
“That was Margaret and Jackson. Friends of mine.”
“Friends of yours?”
“Is there an echo?” he asked.
“Why were they here?”
“I thought you were tired?”
“I am, but you can’t just act all weird and expect me to be okay with it! We’ve known each other for a while…how come I don’t know these friends? Who are they really? What happened at the pool? Why aren’t we dead?”
I leaned back against the door, fighting the tiredness but resolved. What I had just witnessed was a catalyst to all the questions burning inside me. More questions fought to the surface as I searched for a way to voice them all before I forgot.
“Can we talk about this inside?” he asked quietly.
The desire to sit down tugged on my senses. I looked around the neighborhood, trying to decide if I felt like letting him inside. I wasn’t sure how long the neighbors would stay occupied by their phones. Going inside would keep our conversation private at least…and I could sit down. It felt like the best option.
“Yes.”
I stomped across the yard and let myself inside the house. Daniel grabbed our bags out of the car and followed me in. He shut the door, carefully locking it. I started up the stairs, wanting to get out of my wet gym clothes and into something soft and warm. He followed, but I stopped him with a look.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I’m going to change.”
“Oh.” He looked around and hefted our bags. “Where can I do the same?”
I looked at him and felt some of my anger drain away. He had saved my life. The least I could do was let him change.
“Up here.” I took him up the stairs and flipped on the light to our bathroom. “You can use that towel.”
“Thanks,” he said, starting to peel off his shirt.
I retreated quickly. Before I made it to the relative safety of the hall, I noticed that what I’d seen in his biceps did carry over to the rest of his torso. I fled up my stairs to change, suddenly feeling awkward about him being in my house. Daniel and I had been alone in my house almost every day. I had felt comfortable with that. The tension and certainly the attraction had been there between us, but I’d kept them buried through bickering and our verbal playfulness. Now, that didn’t feel like enough.
I sat down on my window seat, my legs no longer willing to support me, and began to peel off my wet clothes, thinking about the change. Deep down, I knew I had liked Daniel all along, but this felt like more than just like. It was as if he had reached into my chest and my head and peeled back the person I was inside, exposing my heart to all its vulnerabilities. I didn’t like it. It made me feel unraveled and out of control. It was the anti-Clare and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
I stood slowly and picked out a pair of pajamas, contemplating the changes. I got dressed facing the forest, looking out the window I had come to appreciate for the peace it offered. I felt as if the trees had some answer I was missing. As old as they were, surely, they had seen things like what had happened to me today.
“I knew it!”
I jumped and hurried to lower my shirt down. I spun and saw Daniel at the top of my stairs. “What the hell are you doing?!” I yelled at him.
He was in his typical blue jeans and t-shirt. His hair was a disheveled mess from where he had tried to towel it off. It framed his face in a way I had never seen it fall before. It made him look different – wild. I was too angry and worried he had seen my back to focus on the change.
“Making an intentional accident,” he said, his expression not wavering with my yell.
He stepped into my room and looked around in wonder. I had never let him up here, embarrassed by the mess that had quickly accumulated. Books and CDs littered the floor, along with the odd item of clothing.
I plucked up the bra I had hung over the bed banister and snapped angrily, “What does that mean?!”
“You said I’d never know where your tattoos were unless I learned by accident. Whoops?”
He had been standing at my door longer than I thought. My face flooded with heat. How much had he seen?
“Don’t you think it’s a bit creepy sneaking up to a girl’s room like that?” I asked, as I stuffed the bra and the shirts I’d picked up into my dresser. I slammed the drawer shut with more force than necessary.
One shoulder rose. “No.”
“Why? Because you don’t see me as a girl? Or because you don’t have manners?” 
I was overreacting, but the tension between us had me on the defensive. I was worried my realization of my intense feelings would have me doing something impulsive, such as kissing him, or worse, confessing my feelings. He walked across the wood floor, quickly closing the distance. His eyes held mine as he walked.
When we were only inches apart, he said, “Believe me, Clare…I see you as a girl.”
His words made me tremble. I realized what he was doing. “That’s not fair.”
He stepped around me and went to my window seat, dispelling the magic of the moment. “What isn’t?”
“You were doing that charm thing on me again.”
“Maybe you were just seeing what you wanted to see.”
“Or maybe I was seeing what you wanted me to see,” I countered.
“Or maybe I’m being honest.”
“Are you sure that’s a word you know?”
He made a face and looked out at the swaying trees. I joined him on the bench, pulling my knees to my chest to protect myself from the emotions, a part of me afraid of him for all the wrong reasons – not the reasons that could get me killed, at least. I put my head against the window and closed my eyes to marshal my thoughts.
As I tried to find the words, I started shivering. Beyond being tired, I was cold, cold to the bone. I hugged my legs closer. Between shivers, I felt a blanket drape softly across my back. I opened my eyes. Daniel sat down again and curled his legs to his chest, mimicking how I was sitting. We looked at each other across the space.
“You sure are pretty when you’re tired,” he teased.
I looked away to hide my smile. “I think you’re just trying to make me not ask you what the heck happened today.” I paused, disconcerted. “Wait, you only think I’m pretty when I’m tired?”
“Yes,” he said with a grin.
“Jerk…Explain,” I demanded, not feeling up to bickering with him anymore.
“I get to ask questions, too.”
“I know,” I agreed.
His eyes bored into mine, and I felt a strange pulse start between us. I saw worry behind his eyes as he searched for a way to begin. “Can I start my explanation by asking a question?”
“If it’s the easiest way for you to explain, then yes.”
There was a pause, and I felt the world shift. Something was about to happen. Something major. I felt my brain trying to prepare me. Was I ready?
“That tattoo on your back – is it a literal tattoo or a figurative tattoo? Because I think it might be literal.”
“Which…which one? The phoenix…or the fallen angel?”
“I think you know which one.”
My heart started pounding. The urge to run kicked into overdrive. He knew. And the only reason he would know was because he was like me. Was he working for one of the sides that were at war? Would he turn me over to his boss, whoever that was? Was his whole family a front to blend in, so he could track people like me?
“Calm down!” he barked. I blinked at him stupidly. “Your heart is beating too fast, calm down!”
I ignored him. “You’re going to kill me or turn me in to whoever you work for. Either way, I’m dead. Ellen is dead, because she knows too much. Who do you work for? It doesn’t matter. I’m dead. Why did you save me if you were only going to kill me? No, that doesn’t matter either. I’m dead.”
He moved along the bench then dropped down to his knees beside me. “I’m not going to kill you!”
“Why didn’t I see it sooner? You knew about me as soon as you saw me. That’s why you zeroed in on me and pretended to be my friend. You wanted to be certain I was like you. I knew you couldn’t just want to be my friend. You lied to me! And I trusted you! You have no idea how much it took for me to trust you!” Tears welled up in my eyes. “Please, don’t kill Ellen! I’ll go quietly if you don’t kill Ellen.”
“Damn it, Clare!”
“Is that why your ‘friends’ came by? To make sure you finished it? What’s your deal anyway? Do you lure people into trusting you, then, when you’re certain of them, you turn them over to the highest bidder? Are you a mercenary, or do you actually care about the people you kill?”
My voice cut off as he grabbed my arms, his hands like steel. I fought at first, scared for my life, scared for Ellen, not understanding what he was doing. He bent forward and kissed me roughly. Then the visions came and I couldn’t fight anymore.
I saw the boy at a crossroad in his life. I saw the darkness he had inside him at war with the light. I saw the light winning as he was taught by his parents to love science, to love humanity, instead of playing the role of avenger for his murdered friend.
A man appeared next to Daniel, in a lab somewhere high. He was Native American with strong lines and a handsome, young face. He was patient as he taught Daniel the different elements on the Periodic Table, as well as how to conduct experiments. There was love in his wise eyes as he looked down at the boy that was Daniel. The light was winning, yet the darkness lurked in the background – a constant presence that whispered to Daniel in the darkest parts of the night.
He got older and went through the tag-end years of adolescence. I saw his first love, a girl named Jocelyn. I saw the intense love he had for her, his complete adoration. She was beautiful and perfect, a blonde angel that made everything in his life brighter and more vivid.
I saw him reach his seventeenth birthday and I knew his fear. I watched him go through the change, which was very painful. His pain was my pain.
The man and woman stood by him as he changed from human to hybrid – understanding what was happening long before he did – their kindness was the only alleviation from the fear and harsh reality of what he was going through. He emerged from those two days different, changed. He was more now, but his heart felt like less.
Jocelyn fell away, shunning him because of his difference, thinking him a demon – he had told her the truth, trusting in their love. I witnessed his broken heart when she left, never to return, breaking their secret engagement.
I watched as he searched for an outlet from the pain, from the darkness. I saw countless women in his bed; women he did not, and could not, love. I saw men dead by his hand; men who were guilty of murder and rape. Men he had no pity for. I saw hours of study and learning as he searched for a way to feel again, hoping those before him had mastered a solution to heartbreak.
The scene abruptly changed from defined colors to blurry and uncertain. A vision of demons and men amassed against him on a great battlefield. Daniel wore antique armor, and as I watched, he raised a silver sword to the heavens with an ear-shattering roar. The scene shifted again. A white rose fell on a bloodied floor. I watched the rose fall with curious eyes. I looked up in time to witness Daniel turning into one of those demons he had stood against so fearlessly on the battleground. I felt his terror at that thought. I saw a circle of faces, nine faces, who demanded obedience. I felt his defiance and an unwavering purpose.
The scene changed back, the lines hardening again. I watched him befriend a young man with white hair and yellow eyes, a man who reminded him in spirit of his friend who had died too young. I watched as that friend betrayed him, joining with others who thirsted for death and enjoyed the destruction of the war. I felt the coldness reach into his heart again, the despair overwhelming at the thought that he could trust no one. He was alone in a world full of madness. What better way to deal with the madness than to be mad?
There was a space then in which everything was dark, a blanket that covered everything. I felt his emotions dim into nothingness. He wasn’t human. He wasn’t angel. He was beast. He was a shadow of the night. No one could save him.
A flicker of light appeared out of the darkness. Jackson, the blond man I had so recently seen in front of my house, appeared in the light.  I saw their camaraderie and their laughter as their new friendship developed and grew. I saw how Jackson taught the man not to hate himself so much, to laugh at life, showing him that not all friends would abandon him.
As that laughter took hold of Daniel’s soul, I saw a purpose form, a purpose that went back to his childhood and the friends he had watched murdered by life. It was a purpose to protect.  To protect the world from the others like him. Resolve and a powerful desire to do good things became his allies. They kept the darkness at bay.
I saw how he protected his family, loving them with a strength that was almost alarming. I saw how he protected humanity from the others, a dark shadow in nameless cities. A Watcher; a hidden protector of humanity. He loved protecting people, but deep down, he felt like it wasn’t enough to atone for the mistakes of a lifetime.
Then I saw my face and everything changed. I felt too many emotions to count. I was blinded by the light and the hope rolling from him in waves.
I kept my eyes closed as his hands slid off my arms. The visions danced around inside my head as I tried to remember who I was, what I was.
“Clare?” he said softly. “Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes and looked at him in amazed wonder. I couldn’t imagine any one person feeling so many things. How did he manage? I felt a pressure on my chest, the added weight of all those experiences. It was overwhelming. I reached out and touched his face without thinking, the electricity jumping up between us. The visions were gone, but I felt a whirlwind of overpowering emotions. My own emotions this time.
“I need you to go,” I said softly.
“Please don’t…I just thought if you saw, you would understand that I…“
I put a finger on his lips. “Come back tomorrow when Ellen is at work. I need some time to process everything. There’s too much…”
His eyes, having turned cold at what he took as a rejection, lit up again. He reached out and touched my face wistfully. Anything you want.
For a long moment, neither of us moved. Then he stood and headed for the door.
“Daniel?” I called before he could leave. He paused, his back to me. I sensed he was afraid to look at me. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked, still unwilling to look at me directly.
“For saving my life.”
He hesitated before leaving, fighting against a powerful urge. He finally nodded, having bested the urge, and disappeared down the stairs without a sound. When I was certain he was gone, I put my head against the window and started crying in earnest. I let all the emotions come, both Daniel’s and mine, drowning in them until I couldn’t separate where he ended and I began.
Lost in his past, and our present, I cried myself into an uneasy sleep.


Chapter 9


When I woke up, it took me a minute to understand why I felt so overwhelmed. I remembered the fire that had surged out of nowhere and the way Daniel had saved me. I remembered both kisses he had stolen and a bubble of warmth settled into my stomach.
Then I remembered the visions of him.
I sat up with panic racing in my chest. One vision in particular had haunted me, invading my dreams. I had woken up because of it. It was the vision of Daniel turning into one of those dark demons. In my dream, I had felt all his fear again; it was made worse by my own fear.
I set my feet on the cold floor, willing the panic to fade from my chest. The wind gusted as the house creaked and popped in protest. Rain lashed against the glass panes of my dark windows. Outside, a storm was raging out of control.
Scared of shadows, the dream haunting me, I wrapped the blanket Daniel had placed around me more tightly and tiptoed across to the stairs. I crept down the stairs and went to Ellen’s room. Quietly, so I wouldn’t disturb her, I pushed back her bedroom door and peered inside. She was snoring gently and mumbling incoherently into her pillow. The shadows from the swaying trees outside played on the delicate angles of her face, but she was peaceful. Seeing her there was wonderful, normal; it calmed some of the panic in my chest. Making up my mind, I put my blanket in the chair by the window and crawled under the covers with her.
Her arms wrapped around me as I settled in close. “You okay, sweetie?” she asked sleepily.
“I am now.”
“That’s good,” she mumbled.
I smiled when she snuggled closer and gave a sleepy grunt. It wasn’t long before she drifted off again, her dreams peaceful. I tried to clear my mind, focusing on the peace of her dreams, but the panic was resilient.
Even though I had spent most of my life running at the first sign of danger, I had come to develop a certain level of control over that form of living. I was used to it; it made sense. That world of running was spiraling out of control now, and I didn’t know what to do about it; especially since it was spiraling out of control for a very strange reason. It wasn’t because of the strange fire. It wasn’t the fact that Daniel was the first person I’d met who was like me. It was because I knew he wasn’t just a friend anymore. The panic in my chest at fearing he would turn into a demon, the way I wanted to protect him...those feelings were just too real. Weirdness aside, I had fallen head over heels for that stupid football-playing angel.
Even though I had seen the intensity of his emotions for me, I wasn’t certain if the vision was real, or if it could be a lie. If it hadn’t been a lie, I wasn’t certain I could let someone have that much power over me. Ellen’s love had power, but I knew from years of experience she wouldn’t just leave me. Her love was forever. She had proven beyond a doubt that she would love me, even if I was a freaky mind-reading half-angel.
My father was a different story. Ellen had given him her heart and he had returned the favor by tearing it out. Isn’t that, above all the other reasons, why I hated him? I saw the love Ellen had for him, and I saw how hard she struggled against the pain his leaving had caused. Even if things worked out with Sam, if they were happy for the rest of time, my father would always have a piece of Ellen’s heart. She would always be just a little bit less. I knew that if I gave Daniel my heart, he could do the same thing to me. I didn’t want that for myself.  I didn’t want someone I couldn’t trust owning my heart. Was it in our nature to walk away? Was it in Daniel’s nature?
I thought over my weeks with Daniel. Was it even possible to feel this intensely in so short a time? Was it just gratitude for him saving my life? I started stroking Ellen’s hair to calm my racing thoughts, taking comfort in the familiar action. I tried to think about it logically, going over every day, every minute we had been together. I thought about our bickering, our playful, intense conversations, Daniel teaching me about cars, arguing about philosophy, books and ideas, our time hanging out at the café, and going on long walks around town. I analyzed every second, trying to be honest with myself. It wasn’t just gratitude that had me feeling this way. It was more.
I scowled at the ceiling. Who was he to make me feel this way? The anger bounced around my head like some horrible emotional Ping-Pong ball. I felt so damned dependent suddenly.
I sighed in exasperation and watched the play of light from the trees on the wall.  I couldn’t decide if when I saw him next I would kiss him or hit him. Both were extremely appealing.
Morning dawned slow and dim. The only thing that kept me from getting out of the bed and throwing everything in reach was the fact that I would see Daniel today; he would come by after Ellen left for work.
As I lay in bed, watching the murky light spread across the wood floor, my nervousness growing with every inch the sun spread, Ellen’s eyes popped open like someone had blown in her ear. “Morning, sweetie.”
“Good morning.”
She touched my face, her eyes full of worry. “I didn’t get to talk to you last night…are you okay? You weren’t hurt, right?”
“No, I wasn’t hurt.” A vision of Daniel throwing me into the pool floated across my eyes. I definitely hadn’t been hurt.
“What happened?”  Something scary happened; I can see it in her eyes. What is she keeping from me? She never keeps things from me.
I stared at her even as half-truths popped into my head. She was right. Ellen and I shared everything, and I was keeping a secret that could get us both killed. I took a deep breath and sat up, pushing my back against the headboard for support. I tried to think of the best way to handle this. Looking in her warm, chocolate eyes I knew I couldn’t keep this from her. She had to know.
I told her everything, every dangerous detail, not glossing over anything. She listened in silence, though I could hear her thoughts working overtime. Finally, the thoughts died down and she took a deep breath, surprising me with her calm. “I trust you, Clare. I trust that you know people. If you think Daniel’s dangerous, we will leave right this second, no questions asked.” We’ve left for less.
What did I think?
“I don’t think he’s dangerous, not in that way. I mean, I know he doesn’t work for the others but…”
The only thing I had glossed over during my explanation was the fact that Daniel had kissed me, twice, and that I had seen the vision of him. I wasn’t comfortable telling her about that, only mentioning how he had breathed for me.
“I don’t know where…”
“You’re worried about that fire and the thoughts you’ve been overhearing?” she asked.
“Yeah...”
“But Daniel protected you,” she said tentatively. “Would he do it again? We’ve never actually met anyone like you, Clare. One that wasn’t bad. This could be an opportunity for you. You know how little…how little your father told me. You could learn what to expect on your birthday. And, if Daniel is willing to look out for you…I would be willing to stay.”
Images of Sam’s face, of Alex’s face, of friends she had started to reconnect with floated through my head. I ignored the images, determined to do whatever was safe. I had to make sure Ellen didn’t get hurt because of me.
“I don’t want to be protected, Mom. Besides, what if he doesn’t want to protect us? What if he has a change of heart? What then?”
“A change of heart?”
I clamped my lips shut. I hadn’t meant to say that.
“It’s okay to let people in,” she said.
I started playing with my necklace. “I just don’t want to end up…”
“Like me?” I could hear the pain in her voice.
“Well…yes,” I told her honestly.
“You need to stop thinking like that… Your father left for us.” She sat up. “He left so we could be safe. After I got attacked…”
“What!?” I exclaimed.
“Oh…I didn’t tell you that,” she said as if she had forgotten to tell me something far less important. “I was attacked one night when I was walking home from work. That was when I was pregnant with you and living with Naomi.”
Naomi was the first friend Ellen had made after running away from home. Together, they had hitched rides out to Los Angeles, where Naomi had a very understanding grandmother. We went to visit Naomi whenever we could and they talked on the phone weekly. She was like an aunt to me.
“It was very sudden, I didn’t know what had happened until it was over…They took my blood.” Ellen rubbed her belly. “Our blood.”
I was stunned. Ellen had been attacked and she had never told me. I was even more stunned she had been able to keep the attack from her mind. That was something a person thought about occasionally, right?
“My father left because you got attacked? Doesn’t that seem contrary? If he loved you, he should have stayed,” I said pugnaciously, not ready to give up sixteen years of bitter resentment and hate.
“He did what he had to,” she said simply. “I love him, but I knew from the beginning we could never be together the way I wanted to be.”
“But why would anyone want your blood?” I shied away from saying “my blood.”
“I don’t know. Your father didn’t know either.”
I sighed. “Why is it I just keep getting questions piled on the list instead of answers?”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.” She touched my face “But I want you to stop hating him so much.  Love…love comes in a lot of forms.” She threw back her large comforter not wanting to talk anymore. “I have to get ready for work.” She hesitated then added, “Unless you want me to stay home with you? Sam would understand.”
“No, I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Did they cancel school?” I asked wondering how she knew I would be staying home.
“No, but I think you’ve earned a day off for almost dying.”
“Thanks!” I said sarcastically.
She kissed me on the cheek, telling me in her thoughts how glad she was that I was safe. Warmed by her love, I got out of the bed to give her some privacy and went downstairs. Not able to control my restless energy, I pulled down the pancake mix, thinking I could kill two birds with one delicious stone. By the time Ellen came down, wearing a blue suit that looked stunning against her pale skin, I’d made enough pancakes to feed a regiment.
“Hungry?” she asked.
“Starving,” I replied, stuffing my face.
She ate in a great rush, our talk having put her behind schedule. Food hanging out of her mouth, she ran out the door. “See you later!”
“Wait for it…” I said to the bowl of pancake batter that dripped uncooked batter onto the counter. The clock turned over a couple of seconds. I heard the door reopen.
“Clare, have you seen my phone?”
I picked up Ellen’s phone from its place on the counter and put my hand around the corner of the door. She ran down the hall and plucked it from my fingers. “Thanks!”
The door shut with a bang. As soon as it shut, the tension I felt boiled over, filling my stomach with butterflies. How long would I have to wait for Daniel? I had learned he was compulsively early, showing up a good fifteen minutes early to even minor events. Whether it was to the movies, a study date, or simply to hang out, he was always there before it was time.
I washed the breakfast dishes then paced the length of the kitchen. I hadn’t actually told Daniel what time Ellen went to work. Did he know when to come over? I sat down at the table and started tapping impatiently on the light-colored wood. I stopped when I realized I had adapted his bad habit.
I waited impatiently for over an hour, alternating between sitting and pacing. The rain stopped, wayward droplets falling from the trees in response to animals scurrying along their branches. Patchy sunlight filtered down through the rolling clouds. Each shift in the light was an eternity. I opened the kitchen window, thinking the sweet smell of rain-drenched earth would help my nerves. It just made me feel more impatient.
It was past time for me to go to school when I realized that Daniel wasn’t coming. I had embarrassed him, or had offended him, or in some way made him feel like I didn’t care for him. I thought about the way I had told him to leave. I cursed my stupidity, my foolish mouth. I stood again and walked around the table in an endless circle recalling every stupid thing I had said.
I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard the front door open softly and footsteps crossed the hall. I ran to the kitchen door. My heart pounded excitedly; he’d come after all!
For the first time since meeting her, I was disappointed to see Alex. Her welcome smile slowly turned into a frown as she stared at my face.  What in the world? “What’s wrong?”
I answered without thinking. “Have you ever seen ‘Sixteen Candles’?”
“About a million times. It’s my favorite movie.”
I’d known that when I asked my question.
“You know the scene when Molly Ringwald is crying in the car and Anthony Michael Hall comes in and sees her utterly devastated over a boy?”
“Yes.”
“Multiply that by a million, and you’ve only touched the surface of where I’m at,” I said not able to pretend any longer.
“What…” A thought occurred to her and she interrupted herself. “Wait, does that make me Anthony Michael Hall?”
I put my hands over my face and sat. “I don’t know,” I groaned.
She sat next to me, her thoughts trying to play catch up to what I was telling her. This has to be about Daniel! Her thoughts turned smug. She does like him! But what happened? Did they have a fight? I mean a real fight. Not those ridiculous fights they have… Hmm…The way she’s acting she must have done something wrong. But what?
“I might have said the wrong thing to him,” I answered.
A second passed, then another. I dropped my hands slowly, realizing what I had done. I started to form an excuse. She cut me off. Her thoughts were racing around the fact that my answer matched her thoughts too closely, but when she spoke, she was calm. “What did you say to him?”
I stared at her for a moment, then ran a hand through my hair realizing I needed a shower. I hadn’t bathed since my encounter with the pool. The pool! Why did everything have to change?!
“I’m not going to go into all the details, but he shared something personal with me, and I told him to leave because I wasn’t ready to handle it.”
“Clare!”  Her voice was exasperated.
“I know! I know! I feel like an ass! You don’t need to add to it.”
“You can’t expect me to give you any kind of advice without knowing the particulars.”
I frowned and realized that I was looking for her advice; that I wanted to know what to do. But I couldn’t tell her all the weird stuff, and the weird stuff had a lot to do with, well, everything.
“It’s okay,” she said all at once, surprising me, “you can trust me with your secret. I know how strange you are.” She paused and smiled at me. “And I don’t just mean personality wise. You and Daniel are both strange in ways that other people aren’t.”
My insides turned to ice. She knew I was different. She knew we were different. I went through a dozen excuses, trying to come up with an explanation, or some way to make her less suspicious. Everything I came up with sounded ridiculous. She was too smart, and I was too awful at lying.
She looked at my panicked face and reached out to pat my hand. “Don’t have a heart attack. I’ve known for ages that Daniel is different. It’s pretty obvious.” She frowned as she searched for the right words. “When he’s around people, it’s like he’s thinking light years ahead, analyzing every movement before he acts. Sometimes, I can see that it’s a thin thread holding him back from the damage he could do. It’s as if he wanted to, which I’m pretty sure he doesn’t, he could kill every single person in town and not get a scratch.”
I shivered as her words, which were bizarrely accurate, brought up another reason for my fear. I had seen what he was capable of. The vision swam in front of my eyes again: a score of dead rapists and murderers lying in a pool of their own blood. They had deserved their fates, but I knew he enjoyed killing them. Too much.
“Clare!”
“Huh?” I asked dazed.
A satisfied smirk crossed her lips. It took me a moment to understand why. She hadn’t said anything aloud. I cursed my tired brain, but Alex didn’t bring up the knowledge she’d just learned. She brought up the thing that mattered most to her. “What did he share that made you force him to leave?” she asked.
I stared at her without answering.
“Okay, well, if you’re going to be all secretive, I’ll just guess.” Again, she didn’t have to think about what she was saying. It came out in a boiling rush. “He did something, like protecting you from whatever happened at the pool, and in doing so you saw how much he liked you. You, in turn, pushed him away, because you’re so freaking used to depending on yourself. You pushed him away, because something about him scares you. Maybe, it’s the fact you’re used to people ignoring you and he can’t. He won’t.” She x-rayed me with her eyes. “Well, here’s my advice, take it or leave it. I don’t think there is a better person for you to divulge those feelings to than Daniel. He’s craving the same kind of companionship you are. Only, unlike you, he knows he craves it. I think he would keep your secrets, support your weaknesses, and celebrate your strengths, until his dying day. That’s the type of person he is. That being said, I think you should show him you want him. If you want to be with someone, you shouldn’t let your fear keep you from them.” She stood abruptly. “But you don’t have to take my advice.”
I stood as well. Even though I towered over her, I felt as if she were the one doing the towering. “How do you do that?” I demanded, wondering if she had a superpower too.
Something about her…She just saw everything free of pretense and clutter. It’s like when she took a look at me with her baby blues she could look past the surface and see straight into my soul.
“I look. I listen.” She brushed her short hair back and pain flashed in her eyes for a second as I heard: I wish I could keep out some of what I saw. “Now, go take a shower, and I’ll drive you to the sheriff’s office so you can give your statement. It’s why I came over. Well, that, and I really wanted to skip math.”
“I don’t know why you’re being so bossy all of a sudden,” I huffed.
She ushered me out of the kitchen, putting her hands on the small of my back to get me moving. “Because that’s the only way people get through to you – brutal honesty with a hint of bossiness thrown in for good measure.”
“I don’t like it.”
She gave me another gentle push to get me walking up the stairs. “I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to.”
“Promise something?” I paused on the steps, fighting a smile.
“Sure.”
“Promise to talk to me like that more often.”
“I’m certain that won’t be a problem.” She went to the living room and flipped on the television, settling onto our old sofa. “You don’t have to hurry with your shower, either. I told Mr. Simpson that I might not make it to his class. I would love you forever, if you could help me miss Chemistry, too.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
I did everything I needed to, taking extra time as promised, and went back downstairs to find Alex sprawled across the couch watching one of those horrifying modeling shows.
“Are you serious?” I asked when I saw what she was watching.
“Shhh!”
“You are serious!”
I sat down on the arm of the couch and stared at the TV in amused disgust. One of the anorexic looking women started crying because another model had talked about her behind her back. It cut to the model who had said the mean things, her sassiness obnoxious and overdone.
“God!”
Alex clicked the program off and jumped up. “It’s just one of those guilty pleasures,” she said defensively.
“You should feel guilty.”
“It’s just a show!” she disagreed.
“It’s a show that teaches girls that being generic and bland is beautiful. It also teaches that backstabbing and insincerity is how you get things in this life. It shows that to be beautiful you must first be awful. I can’t think of anything worse than pushing those ideals onto the rest of us. I mean, most people don’t, and shouldn’t, look like that! Shows like that is one reason there are so many insecure girls, and I hate them with a fiery passion.”
Alex blinked at me, startled by my anger. “You’re right,” she said. “I didn’t think about it like that. I won’t watch it ever again.” She held up two fingers. “Scouts honor.”
I laughed, already feeling sheepish. I couldn’t spout off to her like I could to Daniel without feeling guilty. He had proven he could argue back with emphasis and didn’t resent me for my honesty. Not everyone was like that.
I held the front door open for her then we crossed the yard to her car in silence. Alex started the engine of her Jeep and spun it around so that we were facing the proper direction. I held onto the door, trying to keep my seat.
“Sorry for going off on you about that show…” I apologized as we started down the road.
“It’s cool. I get to yell at you for things. It’s only fair you yell back sometimes.” She smiled briefly and over the roar of the wind asked, “Were you waiting for Daniel when I came over?”
I should have known she wasn’t going to drop it so easily. I started playing with my necklace anxiously. “Yeah, he was supposed to come over once Ellen left.”
“If it makes you feel any better, he wasn’t at school this morning when I went in to make my excuses. Maybe something came up?”
“Maybe.” I wasn’t betting on it.
She squealed around another corner and headed down one of the numerous deserted highways surrounding the town. The stores and the bright shops on Main Street faded with the turn and the occasional farmstead became the dominant structure.
“Where’d they put the sheriff’s station? South Carolina?” I asked after ten minutes of driving on the same road. My mood was sour. Had Daniel thought I would show up at school looking for him? Was he too afraid to see me again?
Alex shrugged. “Everything just takes a little longer around here. Driving places…conversations…” She made a face. “That and the old station on Main Street burned down when a drunk guy crashed his car into the building two years ago. They thought building out here would be safer.”
“Oh.”
An overwhelming swirl of thought reached out to me in a great storm. I flinched from the sound, wishing someone would make mental earplugs. The sound increased the closer we got to the station. I couldn’t get specifics from the chaos, but something had definitely happened. Something bad. The voices buzzed like bees whose nest was being attacked by a hungry bear.
With another squeal of tires, Alex pulled into a small parking lot. Tall pines arched over the brick building. The trees and the dark red brick made the station look folksy and unabashedly southern. I looked around for Andy Griffith, figuring he couldn’t be far off.
The swirling voices grew louder, obviously coming from the building. I tried futilely to block them out, but it was useless. Alex frowned as she tried to squeeze her Jeep into a space too small for it, having no other choice because of the number of cars parked there.
“Something must have happened. There’s never this many people here.”
They say the animal got her!
It just doesn’t make any sense!
I wonder if they’ll let ol’ Sue and me hunt her alone, or force some fool on us?
I think I’ll concentrate the majority of the searches here near Route 7 and spread out from there. I’ll need you to call the Adamses and make sure it’s okay for us to search on their land. I wonder if Bubba brought his dog. Check and see, Chuck. Jim should lead the second wave of searches here and here, he’s got the best eye for terrain.
“I think you’re right,” I said.
As we entered the station, I saw that it wasn’t a beehive that had been disturbed, but rather an anthill. People swarmed around the large, open office looking at reports and maps, planning a course of action, often stumbling into each other. Their thoughts and plans swirled around in my head, my brain latching on to the information even as I marveled at the activity.
I had gotten used to a slow way of operating around here where people casually strolled up the streets, stopping to talk to a friend or passerby, where conversations were conducted over well-cooked meals. This was proof these southern folk could move fast when provoked. It was proof I had never expected to get.
“Who are we supposed to talk to?” I asked.
Alex grabbed my arm. “This way.” She deftly wove between the swarming people. We had to jump out of the way of several very woodsy men who were gathering their gear and yelling at each other in their hard-to-understand mountain dialect. Around the people, Alex found the man she had been looking for. She stopped in front of a small desk shoved into a smaller corner. “Hey, Chuck.”
The man looked up, and his moon face transformed into a friendly smile. “Hey, Alex, how’s your dad?”
“Just fine, thank you.”
He frowned, trying to place where he had seen me before. I squirmed a little under his gaze, avoiding eye contact with him. He had been one of the officers at the school yesterday. He was the one with the quick thoughts, wondering how I had survived when the fire had been well above boiling point. He remembered me all at once, noting I looked better when I didn’t look like a wet dog.
“How can I help you ladies?”
“Clare here has to give a statement of what happened yesterday,” Alex said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
“Oh…of course. Daniel talked me to about that…but with everything that’s…” His eyes swept the bustling office. “We’re kind of swamped, but you can use the interrogation room to write your report down.”
“Okay,” I said eager to get this over with and leave so I could have some peace. Chuck stood and searched for the form I needed to fill out.
Alex wasn’t as distracted by the voices as I was. “What’s happened, Chuck?” she asked, looking around the crowded room.
He hesitated. I don’t want to scare them, but maybe I should tell them so they don’t go wandering around in the woods… “A Forest Ranger went missing. She was one of the people we had tracking the animal that killed Ryan.”
I hadn’t realized they were still searching for the animal. It had been weeks. The flash of what I had seen behind my house rose up, a stark reminder that someone had died and someone who cared enough to hunt for his killer had gone missing. Alex gasped at the news, her thoughts immediately focused with concern for the missing woman.
“Where did she go missing?” I asked before she could get Chuck sidetracked with platitudes.
“Near Route 7, towards the Adams estate. The sheriff just told me to call them and get permission to search their land, so…”
He rattled the paper at me and started walking towards the interrogation room, waddling a bit due to his excessive weight.
“When did she go missing?” I asked, skipping a little to catch up. He was large, but he could move fast.
“She didn’t report in like normal yesterday evening, and she always reports in. Then, one of the other Rangers found her bag and blood nearby.”
“Do you know if she has any idea what’s behind the attacks?” I asked.
“No,” he said sharply. I heard the truth. I still can’t see how that human footprint she found relates to Ryan, or why she was so determined to make us think a human had done this. The other print we found was more convincing. I mean the man was literally torn apart! I’ve seen plenty of people on drugs capable of killing, but nothing like that. “Here you go.”
He opened a wooden door and Alex and I filed in. I sat down in the sterile room, on a rickety chair, and immediately started writing so he would leave. He gave a cheerful wave and disappeared to make his phone call and organize the search.
“Can you believe that?” Alex asked as soon as the door was shut.
I hesitated. “Yes.”
She sat down opposite me. “You can?”
“A man was torn apart. I would expect anyone venturing out into those woods would be in danger.”
“But it’s just so weird! Everything is just…weird. That poor woman! I hope she didn’t encounter whatever is out there.”
I started writing at super-sonic speed as a rash plan formed in my head. Where the woman had disappeared, where she had tracked whatever was killing people, it was too close to Daniel’s house. I knew what he was capable of. I knew if he felt his family was being threatened he would do what it took to protect them. I had to know if he was behind it, if the reason he hadn’t shown up at my house this morning was because he was adding another victim to his list.
“Clare?”
I turned my thoughts to the present. This time, Alex wasn’t testing me. “Yeah?”
“Are you going to come back to school with me, or should I drop you off at home?”
I thought about it. “Could you drop me off at your dad’s office?”
“Sure, it’s not that far from here. Why?”
“I need to talk to Ellen,” I replied, having no intention of involving Alex in my plan. It was too dangerous.
She looked at my statement and my increasingly messy handwriting. “Are you finished?”
With a flourish, I signed my name at the bottom of the page. “Yep.”
Everyone was gathered around the sheriff when we let ourselves out into the main office. Sheriff Cobb was an older man, so thin and stooped he looked ready to blow away. His silver hair was neatly combed, his uniform wrinkle-free, and I knew he was fastidious about appearance. He was dividing the searchers into groups based on talents.  Despite his age, his eyes were sharp, and I sensed a keen intellect.  His voice was strong and certain as he talked to the room, a contradiction to his weak appearance. Chuck respectfully hovered at his side, listening in mute support.
I went over to Chuck’s desk to set my statement down for him to find later, my mind on what I was planning and how I would get Ellen to let me borrow the car. As I did, the door opened and a cool wind swirled through the office. The sheriff stopped talking at the sight of the person who had entered the room.
Daniel’s friend, Margaret, walked in, a serious smile on her perfect face. She was wearing a heavy leather jacket and tight blue jeans. Under her arm, she carried a heavy helmet with a face shield.  She stepped through the room, parting the crowd like they were the Red Sea. Her satisfied smile developed into a smile I knew too well as the men moved out of her way. It was the smile Daniel used when he was trying to charm people. She stopped in front of Chuck. As she started speaking, I heard a crush of thoughts from the male population I would have given anything not to hear.
“Daniel had to go on an emergency trip out of town with his parents and couldn’t come in to give his statement.” She held up a piece of paper. “But he wrote everything down for you, just as it happened, and signed it. Will that be okay?”
She turned the full force of her smile on Chuck, and I almost felt sorry for the man. Her eyes flicked to mine for an instant, but she didn’t say anything or draw attention to me. I was grateful. I didn’t want any more attention from the crowd. I was certain the added thoughts would kill me. Too, she was intimidating. I shivered as her cold stare from yesterday rose in my mind. It was so different from her expression now, but I couldn’t forget.
Chuck stammered an answer, “T-t-this is fine, thank you.” He paused. “I just tried to call his parents actually, but no one picked up. You say they’re out of town?”
“Yes. They left yesterday to go to Boston. What did you need Deputy? Maybe I can help.”
He puffed his chest out, liking how she had called him deputy. Most people just called him Chuck.  “We just wanted to ask if it was okay to come onto their property and search for a missing Forest Ranger. The last time she was seen was near Route 7, in the area of the old well house.”
“Oh, goodness! I know they won’t care if you search their property, not if it meant saving someone’s life.”
“Thank you. Tell the Adamses I said hello when you talk to them.”
“Of course.”
“It’s good to see you back in town,” he stammered.
Her eyes played havoc on his senses as her smile turned coy. I crossed my arms, annoyed. Daniel’s tactics weren’t just his. But had she learned such tactics from him or vice versa?
Her violet gaze turned to me, and I knew that she wanted me to follow her outside. She nodded once and walked towards the door, parting the crowd again before disappearing with another blast of chilly mountain air.


Chapter 10


“Come on,” I told Alex.
“Where are we going?” Alex asked dreamily. Even she looked a little frazzled.
“Outside,” I answered.
I shoved the door open with more force than necessary, questioning everything. Margaret stood next to that same black motorcycle of the day prior. It was parked so it blocked Alex’s Jeep, an obvious attempt to make me talk to her. Not that I would have left without speaking to her – I wanted answers. She didn’t smile when she saw me, nor did she frown. She simply looked. It was like looking at a lioness who was trying to decide if it was hungry enough to eat you. I tried to mimic her stare, my irritation making me fearless. We stared at each other for a moment, assessing.
“Where’s Daniel at?” I asked.
She raised her hand to me and didn’t reply. I hesitated, not willing to look into her past like I had with Daniel. It was too personal. Her violet eyes were insistent, though. I pressed my palm against hers, cringing at the electricity she was generating.
Her thoughts were immediate. Daniel cares about you very much, but if you hurt him, I will break every bone in your body. Then I’ll make you really suffer.
I have no intention of hurting him, I replied.
Intention! Do you know how much trouble you’ve brought? The pressure of her thoughts was unbearable. It took all my willpower to stay on my feet under the power of her mind and her irrepressible anger.
What trouble?
The only kind there is. He wants to explain. I’ll let him, because the two of you shared the joining, but don’t think that won’t stop me from hurting you if he dies because of you.
I ignored the threat. Joining? Why did I suddenly feel uneasy?
It is how we find the people we are destined to share our days with. It only happens once.
I don’t understand! Please, can you tell me anything? At least where Daniel is…
Her eyes moved to the sheriff’s office. He’s dealing with a problem. Remember what I said.
Yeah, yeah. Break every bone in my body. I got it.
Margaret dropped her hand and turned away. The crush of her thoughts lifted, but her words lingered. She got on her bike and it roared to life. I didn’t know which noise was worse: the bike or the thoughts surging out of the building. In seconds, she was gone.
“That was weird,” Alex said, opening her door with a forceful jerk.
“Yep,” I agreed walking around to the other side.
“You’re not going to explain why you just played ‘whose hand is longer and paler’? You’re just going to leave it like that?”
“Yep,” I said calmly. I buckled my seat belt and waited for her to do the same.
“And I’m supposed to be okay with that?” She buckled her own belt with a snap.
“Yep. Are you still willing to drive me over to the office? I really do need to talk to Ellen.”
“I ought to leave you here,” she fumed.
“I’m okay with walking.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. She backed out of the too-small parking space before I could get out.
As she drove, I faced new questions. Who was Margaret to threaten me? How did Daniel know her? Where was Daniel? Why would she lie for him? What the heck was happening?
After a moment of fighting against the questions, I asked Alex the question I could ask aloud, “Do you know Margaret?”
Alex glared at me before answering, but she still answered. “Not really. I just know she knows Daniel’s parents somehow. Her and Jackson don’t come into town very often. I think they live somewhere else…New York or something. Everyone knows of them, but nobody really knows them. The gossip still floats around town sometimes. When there’s nothing else to talk about.”
“What does the gossip say?”
“Nothing good. You know how gossip is,” she replied.
“Yes, I do.”
I studied the passing farmhouses and wondered why he wouldn’t tell me about his friends. Why the secrecy? Were they like us? Did they know about me? To get the frustrating repetition of unanswered questions out of my head, I changed the subject. “I wanted to ask you about something else…if you’re not too mad,” I said over the hum of the tires.
“What?”
“How would you feel about asking Amanda to do something with us?”
Alex’s glare faded and she bit her lip. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” she answered uneasily.
“Why?”
Because I don’t want to make her situation worse. “Her dad gets mad when she goes out with people. He gets mad when she does anything really. Their neighbors can hear him screaming from a mile away sometimes.”
“If people know he acts like that, why hasn’t child services, or someone, been called in?” I asked indignantly.
“You really don’t get the mentality of a small town, do you?”
“No. I don’t.”
“People around here let family sort things out. They might ask how everything is, and make you a million casseroles, or apple pies, but they don’t call in the authority types unless it’s absolutely necessary. If they do call in someone, it’s usually the sheriff, because people trust him. And he usually just talks people into resolving their differences. We all have to get along around here and calling in outsiders for everything is no way to do that.”
“But gossip, back stabbing, and otherwise being catty is okay?”
Alex shrugged. “Those are all accepted mores.”
“Ugh! I hate psychology. It tries to explain the unexplainable. People can’t be quantified or broken down. They’re too messy for that.”
“You’re saying that to the person in the car who wants to be the psychologist,” she pointed out. “You do realize that, right?”
“Oh. Sorry. Well, I want to do something to help Amanda out. I don’t really know if talking to her is going to do any good…not that she really talks to me.”
Alex turned onto a different road then said, “I’ll see what we can do. But if she doesn’t want our friendship, there’s not a lot that can be done. You can only help people who want to be helped.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
She pumped the brakes, causing the Jeep to careen to a stop next to Sam’s silver Mercedes. I threw my hand out to stop from hitting the dashboard.
“Tell Dad hi.”
“Aren’t you coming in?” I asked, wondering what had happened to skipping school.
“Nah. I only had the okay to miss my first two classes. If I miss history again, Mrs. Dunn will probably give me detention…or something worse, like having to brush her hair for her.”  Mrs. Dunn had a hairdo that could only be considered a curly afro.
I laughed. “All right. Thanks for the ride.”
“Sure.”
I got out and shut the door, contemplating my plan of attack for getting Ellen to agree to what I was about to ask her. Alex peeled out of the spot without looking back. The music, which she had turned up, lingered for a few seconds more. I shook my head at her musical taste and let myself into the office. Before I could get down the short hall that was the entrance, I heard a phone ring and Ellen answer in her cheerful voice. Pausing in the hallway, I listened in.
“Lawson Law, how can I help you? No, Mrs. Gudger. Yes, I’m pretty certain that poisoning your husband with eye drops is illegal. It doesn’t matter if it only makes him sick. Yes, it’s still illegal. No, Mrs. Gudger. You, too. All right. Bye.”
“One of these days, she’s really going to poison that poor man. I think we should schedule an intervention,” Sam said from somewhere in the office.
Ellen laughed. “My money is that he gets her first. He may seem like a doddering old fool, but I bet he’s crafty.”
“You could be right.” Sam paused then added, “Behind that beautiful smile, I bet you have a cunning nature.”
I stepped further down the hall to spy on them. Sam was leaning on Ellen’s desk as they talked. They were leaning toward each other in a way that was familiar, familiar because Daniel and I did it all the time. Ellen looked up at him with a mischievous smile, her eyes dancing with laughter. “You’ll never know just how much.”
They shared a moment, and I got a lot of images I really didn’t want or need. I cleared my throat loudly to keep the images from going further. Sam popped off the desk with a funny little jerk at the sound. He spun to face me, his surprised expression priceless. “Clare! It’s nice to see you again.”
His short hair was arranged carefully; there was not a hair out of place. He was wearing an expensive-looking suit I knew he hated wearing – he preferred blue jeans and hiking boots. He smiled warmly when he saw me and held out one large hand for me to take. I shook it, impressed again by the calluses, knowing they bespoke of years of outdoor activity and a strong desire to work with his hands. His hands said more about him than his suit and his hair.
“Hey, Sam…Mom. I’m not interrupting anything am I?” I smirked at her, and she started blushing.
She looks different today. I wonder what happened to make her so bright all of a sudden. Let me think...she kissed a boy and tried to pretend like she didn’t? Oh, look at her blushing. Did I embarrass you, sweetie? She smirked back at me.
“No, not at all,” Sam said a little too quickly.
“Alex said hi,” I said. “She had to run to class.”
“It’s nice of you to pass that along, thanks.” There was an awkward moment of silence. “I’m going to go…make a phone call.”
He pointed vaguely at his office and hurried away. I knew he was embarrassed that I had caught them flirting. I looked after him as he retreated, my smirk growing into a full-fledged smile. Parents…
“What?” Ellen demanded as soon as we were alone.
“Nothing. Can I borrow the car?”
“What for?”
“A Ranger went missing. I’m going to help the search party, since you most graciously gave me the day off of school.”
“I heard. Sam’s going to go a little later to help…once he gets a couple of cases settled. Are you sure you’re not meeting someone?” she demanded, her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“Define sure.”
“That boy you won’t let me meet, you’re not hooking up are you?”
“Don’t say, ‘hooking up,’ and no. I’m really going to go help search for the Ranger.” I raised my hand in a pledge. “I swear.”
But you want to see him. “I don’t know, sweetie. I don’t know if I want you wandering around in the woods where all those attacks are happening.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You know me, right?”
“I like to think I do,” she said with a small smile.
“Well, knowing me like you do what do you think I would do if I couldn’t borrow your car?”
Ugh. “You’ll either find another ride, possibly with this mysterious friend, who’s not a boyfriend, but is a boy, or you’ll walk, or hitch a ride, which I wouldn’t want you to do. Long story short…you’ll end up where you want to be.”
“Exactly. So, wouldn’t it just be easier to let me borrow the car? I promise I’ll be back in time to pick you up.”
She hesitated. “If anything happens to you…”
“I know, I know, you’ll ground me until I’m thirty.”
“No. I would die from a broken heart, because I would miss you so much. And I know you would hate to do that to me.”
I leaned forward and touched her face. “You’d have Sam,” I teased. I picked the keys up off her desk as she stuck her tongue out at me, another blush heating her face. “But I promise to be careful.”
“Bye,” she huffed.
“Bye. Bye Sam!” I yelled as I ran toward the door.
“Bye!” Sam called just as I shut the door.
I let the car warm up for a minute, knowing how temperamental it could be in cold weather, and contemplated what I was about to do. It was a bit rash, and I was possibly searching for answers in the wrong place, but I didn’t really care. What I was searching for didn’t matter. What mattered was that I was accomplishing something. I needed purpose.
I inched the car back and pulled out onto the highway, grateful there weren’t any cars coming. It always took the wagon a moment to get up to speed. It rumbled and grumbled, but didn’t give out on me like normal. Sputtering, I headed towards the location I had heard in dozens of people’s thoughts while in the station.
I was excited, yet nervous, at the prospect that my search for answers might lead me in the direction of the Adams’ house. Despite the numerous friends Daniel had, no one from school had ever been out there. I knew it had to be on purpose. I wanted to be invited, but he never asked me, and I wasn’t brash enough to invite myself. Now, I might get a fleeting look at the place, as long as it was near where I thought the Forest Ranger had disappeared. I didn’t know what I would do if I found out Daniel was responsible for her disappearance. I wouldn’t think about that…unless I had to.
I drove for a good fifteen minutes, following the directions I’d heard, until I saw the swarm of cars pulled to the side of the road. I drove past them and around a curve in the road, not wanting anyone to recognize our car and come looking for me.
I got out, tugging my leather jacket tight around me, wondering how anyone who was missing could survive a night in this cold. Zipping up the creaking leather, I stuck my hands in my pockets and did some serious thinking. From the thoughts I had picked up at the station, everyone was headed in a southwest course. I wasn’t an experienced hiker, but it didn’t make sense that a trained Forest Ranger would head deeper into bear territory. I leaned on the car and tried to put the pieces together in my mind.
Assuming she wasn’t taken against her will, it was more likely she would have headed for a place where she could make shelter and hide, or she would have headed for a body of water. Ideally, she would have headed for a place with both. I nodded to the forest littered with wet, dead leaves, thorn bushes, and broken limbs, and started walking on a course that was more to the west. Every so often as I walked, I picked up a stone and wedged it in the branches of a tree as a marker of the way I had passed. I was determined to get answers, not die of hypothermia. As my feet created a monotonous, dull slide on the slick leaves, I let my mind drift back to Jennifer and Mark, not wanting to think about Daniel anymore.
I knew Mark was waiting for the right moment to ask me out. He was also waiting to get some kind of verification that I preferred him over the rest of the male population. I didn’t want him to ask me; the idea gave me the creeps. If he did ask me, I would inevitably turn him down and that would create a whole pile of trouble. It would definitely get back to Jennifer, who would inevitably try to think up ways to get back at me, using Michelle as a minion to her evil deeds. I knew who she would target in order to make me jealous: Daniel. I had to cut off Mark’s asking me out before he got the chance. It was the only way to keep peace…and keep me from going to war with Jennifer.
I had a plan, but I wasn’t sure I could do it alone. I needed to get Mark more interested in Jennifer, who was crazy about him in her typical, “we belong together, because we’re both popular,” way. Mark would be thrilled to find someone was so into him. Why he didn’t see her attraction to him, I couldn’t fathom. I centered my thoughts on different ways to redirect Mark, feeling entirely tactical. I let those musings distract me from what I really wanted to think about.
I had walked for an hour when I found my first clue. I almost missed it. I was passing a band of dark azalea bushes, which overhung a tiny mountain stream, when I noticed a torn piece of fabric hanging off one of the nearby brambles. If it hadn’t been for the shaft of sunlight shining on the one bare part of the creek, catching my eye, I wouldn’t have seen it all. I stepped closer, curious about the random piece of clothing so far out in the forest, and saw that it was smeared with mud and what looked like blood. The fabric was green and similar to what I thought a Forest Ranger would wear.
I took a deep breath, hoping the blood was from a scratch or another non-life-threatening injury, and closed my eyes. If she were close, and conscious, I would be able to hear her thoughts. If she were dead, I was already too late.
I concentrated and for the first time since inheriting my gift of reading minds, I tested the limits of what I could do. I reached out with my mind, like a silent hand exploring the foliage, and started searching the forest around me. As I did, I felt the life around me. The squirrels as they searched endlessly for food, desperate this time of year, the few birds that had decided being cold was worth not having to fly to Florida, even the insects, they all touched my mind briefly. But I didn’t feel any Forest Ranger named Susan. I pushed the field of thought out further, wondering if this was normal. It didn’t feel normal.
I laughed, almost disrupting the energy I had pushed outward in my search for her. As if anything about my life, about being born to a fallen angel, could be normal…
I was about to give up, and move on to another part of the forest, when I felt a pinprick of energy. Or was it light? My eyebrows furrowed as I concentrated. Whatever it was, it was definitely more than just a squirrel or rabbit. I followed the feeling, stumbling over the uneven ground. The feeling got stronger. Whatever I was being drawn toward was large and well hidden in a small cave further up on the mountain. I could almost picture the spot in my mind. I opened my eyes, the feeling of the presence very close, and scrambled up the side of a mountain to find what my mind had seen.
I searched through all the rocky overhangs I came across, the energy pulsing like a beacon. It was like a drum inside me: Dah-dum dah-dum dah-dum.
I felt it inside my head and my chest, urging me to go faster. I increased my speed and scrambled across another rock outcropping, my own heart in my throat. The sound increased tenfold. DAH-DUM DAH-DUM.
I stopped. My breath caught in my throat. There she was! I had actually found her!  Her arm was at an odd angle and she appeared unconscious, but she was undeniably there. At least, I hoped she was unconscious. A trickle of blood trailed down her face in a trickle of doubt.
I ran to her, not knowing how to help, wishing I had taken that first aid class last spring like Ellen had wanted me to. I checked her pulse; she was definitely alive – but just barely. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her. For once, I was glad I was freakishly tall and that my jacket was big enough to cover her from her neck to mid-thigh. I stood up and looked around.
Now what? As usual, I hadn’t remembered my phone – not that I thought I would actually find her. I had known the odds when I started out; had known I was looking for something that was impossible to find. Yet, impossible was lying there at my feet.
I looked down the embankment and gulped when I saw how much of the hill I had scaled. She obviously needed a hospital…fast. How was I going to get her down or even carry her back to the car? Did I dare risk leaving her and coming back with more people?  No. I didn’t want to leave her. I would never forgive myself if she died while I was off getting help. What I needed was something to drag her on. I looked around the barren, wintered mountain for help, but there was nothing. I would have to carry her. There were no other options. I knelt down on my knees to pick her up.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” I said as I threw her over my shoulder, trying to avoid her broken arm.
She groaned slightly in response. Even unconscious, she could feel the pain. I grunted as I settled her dead weight on my shoulder. My knees buckled slightly when I rose, but I kept my feet. I started down the hill, placing my feet carefully, immediately feeling sweat pour down my forehead. I slipped and slid down the mountain on leaves wet with last night’s rain, glad that the slipping didn’t result in falling. I had to stop at the bottom to rest. I leaned against a tree for support against the weight of Susan’s body.
Once I had caught my breath, and managed to cool down a little, I started down the trail, dreading the hike I had ahead of me. As I walked around the base of the mountain, the sweat started double time, and the veins in my neck popped out in strained protest. I had to stop every couple of minutes to rest and catch my breath. I switched shoulders whenever I stopped, hoping to relieve some of the pressure, but it didn’t help. It only made both my shoulders hurt.
I realized, as I hauled Susan onto my shoulder for the fifth time, that saving people was a lot less glamorous than the movies made it out to be. It was sweat, and bone aching tiredness, and fear that I might fail. I didn’t want to fail this woman. Would I fail? It was all I could think about.
I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to think of good things, things I would do when I got back home. A bath, a good book, listening to Ella Fitzgerald, maybe looking up Daniel’s number and demanding to know where he was, sleeping a million years, not moving unless I had to…
Twenty minutes passed of the grueling hike before I stopped for a reason other than rest. It was a sound that halted my feet. More precisely, it was a growl. It was as if someone had figured out how to put all the evil of the universe into one hair-raising growl.
I looked at Susan. She hadn’t made any noise since I’d picked her up. I bit my lip, hesitating. Where had that noise come from? I started walking again, my heart pounding hard. The forest was silent. There were no birds chirping, no movement among the leaves. Only a terrifying stillness.
I scoured the surrounding landscape, cursing the trees and undergrowth that obscured my view. The growl sounded again, closer this time. I stopped and listened, trying to understand. It was as if the creature, or thing, was snuffling through the undergrowth.
I looked to my right where I thought the noise was coming from and saw an inky darkness swell slowly out of the trees. It undulated across the leaves like a very big snake, blackening whatever it touched. The darkness slowly moved across the bed of leaves in my direction. The sound I heard, the snuffling, sounded like a dog searching for a bone it had lost. This thing was searching for something. I looked at Susan. Was it her? Was it coming to finish her off? Was it the thing everyone had been tracking?
Resolved, I tightened my grip on her knees. The vision of Daniel protecting a thousand people flooded through me, adding steel to my backbone. What would he say if I failed? Would he think less of me?
It wasn’t just what he would think that had me determined. Susan deserved to live. Life was meant for people like her. Not creatures like this thing. Not like me. This thing, the darkness, whatever it was, wouldn’t stop me from saving her. As I tightened my grip, my resolve to protect Susan warmed my stomach and my necklace grew hot against my skin. Trying not to react to the burning against my chest, or my fear of dropping Susan, I looked down. My necklace was glowing with a light so brilliant it was blinding. The warmth I felt carried over to the warmth of the glow.
The darkness stopped. The growling started up again like a furnace blasting into life. Whatever was inside the darkness had sensed or seen the light of the necklace and it didn’t like it.
Instinctively, I turned sideways, so that the necklace was facing the darkness, then started sidestepping my way along the path. The thing inside the dark started alternating between whining and a growl at my retreat.
I walked faster. I didn’t know how long the necklace would burn; I just knew I didn’t want to be around to find out what happened when it stopped. I hurried away, my heart in my throat, questions and fear dancing through my head.


Chapter 11


The problem with running away from a scary blob of utter darkness when you’re carrying a hundred and fifteen pound woman is that you have to stop. Often. And if you don’t stop often, because adrenaline and fear are making you panic, you start to operate on desperation alone. I was at my breaking point.
I stumbled on the slick leaves, almost dropping Susan twice as I ran down the hill. I knew I was on the right track from the rocks I had tucked into the trees, but that hardly mattered. I just wanted to get away. My panic had put me in fight or flight mode, and I was definitely fleeing.
As soon as the creature was out of sight, the necklace stopped glowing, but I didn’t stop to worry about it. I had bigger issues. Was it following me? I couldn’t hear anything, but that meant nothing. My feet were creating so much noise that a whole herd of horses could have been behind me and I wouldn’t have noticed. If it was following me, could I fight it off? My body screamed ‘no!’
I did know one thing. Whatever was happening was the explanation for what had happened to Ryan Holt and all those animals. It was an explanation for Susan’s condition. Only, it explained nothing. How did a scary blob of darkness kill people?
I wasn’t far down the path when I heard a different sound. It wasn’t growling, but it still scared the crap out of me. It was the sound of metal tearing into metal, and it was coming from the direction I had just fled.  Rip! Screech! Tear! Rip!
A terrible yell reached to the sky, a keening sound of sorrow. I stopped, exhausted and terrified, the yell tearing into my soul.  I leaned against a tree, gasping for breath, fighting against the fear. Tears welled up in my eyes.
When I had planned this rash act to find purpose, I hadn’t thought I would find so much of it all at once.  How could I compete with things that didn’t make any sense? Should I turn back and make sure no one else was in trouble?
The tearing metallic sound abruptly cut off, then I heard a yell of rage. It roared across the mountain, echoing back to me in triplicate. I shouldered the woman and scrambled towards the car, more afraid of that human sound than the inhuman growl.
As I stumbled over unseen roots and rain slicked leaves, a wickedly cold wind sprung up, bringing with it the smell of smoke and a very disgusting stench; like something evil and dead was being burnt. I choked on the smell.
A snapping noise and the sound of feet on the leaves behind me made me freeze again. The blackness had caught up with me. I couldn’t run anymore. I was too tired. This time, the necklace wasn’t glowing, protecting us from the darkness. I would have to fight.
I set the woman down behind a tree and covered her with leaves. If I didn’t find help soon, she would die, but if I didn’t fight off whatever was after us, she would die regardless. Maybe, if whatever it was killed me first, it would lose interest in Susan and the hunters could find her.
I found a branch and hoisted it, ready to die fighting. The sound of running got closer, and I prepared to defend the two of us. Fear made me braver than I felt. “Get back!” I yelled.
The feet slowed, but didn’t stop.
“I mean it! Stay back!”
Daniel and Jackson appeared around a bend in the trail. Their shirts were covered in silver liquid and their faces were grim. I saw violence etched into their faces. When he saw me, Daniel’s face changed from violent to surprised. Then, he switched to angry. “I told you to stay out of the forest,” he said.
I felt a wave of relief and all my adrenaline drained away. The slick stick dropped from my trembling hands. Darkness tried to take me under so I could rest, but I resisted. Daniel started to rush forward to help me, but I flinched at the movement. What was he doing here? He noticed my fear. He stopped two feet away from me and lowered his hands.
“You should have known better,” I told him. “Hospital.” I pointed at Susan.
Daniel’s eyes flickered to her then back to me, like he hadn’t noticed her lying there. Jackson went to her without a word, his feet silent on the forest floor.
“You carried her down the mountain?” Daniel asked incredulously.
“Yes. You didn’t have anything to do with this right?”
“Of course not!” he said, his voice indignant. His green eyes told me he was telling the truth.
“Good.” A swirl of dots appeared in front of my eyes.  “Daniel…”
“Yeah?” Daniel was watching Jackson check on Susan. I saw the inky dark flashing against the green.
“I think I’m going to pass out now.”
I fell forward and felt him catch me before I lost consciousness.


“She should be awake by now. Why isn’t she awake?” I heard Daniel say in an agitated voice.
“She spent all of her energy carrying that woman, son.  She’s exhausted, and rightly so,” a warm, rich voice answered soothingly. I felt calm just listening to it.
“I know that, Han. I just need to know she’s okay, that the Nightstalker didn’t touch her. If it hurt her…I’ll…I’ll…” I imagined him clenching his hands in rage as he paced.
“She’s fine, Daniel,” I heard another voice say. This voice was light and perfect, tinted with a British accent. “She’s just resting.”
“Maybe we should take her to the hospital. They have equipment there that we don’t have…”
I groaned and pushed away the peaceful sleep. “God! You’re such a pain in the ass, Daniel! I’ll wake up when I feel like it.”
I opened my eyes as I said it, the irritation making me instantly alert. Above me was a very high, elegant ceiling decorated like pictures I’d seen of the Vatican in Rome. It was unfamiliar and familiar at the same time. I instantly felt attached to whoever’s hand it was that had created the painting. Dark woods and expensive fixtures accentuated the elegance of the ceiling.
I heard melodic laughter and a sigh of relief at my words.
“You’re okay!” Daniel said in my ear.
I turned my head and saw him crouched down, his face close to mine. “Am I?”
I looked down. I was lying on a large comfortable sofa with an afghan thrown over my legs. The only thing that was off about my appearance was my lack of jacket. As soon as I thought of the jacket, I remembered Susan.
“What happened to the Ranger? Susan. Is she okay? Did I save her?”
“Yes, you saved her, although we’re going to have a talk about that.”  His face turned dangerous. I scowled back at him, not sorry in the slightest. He relented after a moment, seeing that I wanted an explanation. “After you passed out, Jackson and I managed to get you both back to the road. We found some hunters there who agreed to take the woman in their truck. I figured it was faster than your mom’s station wagon. They wanted to take you as well, but I didn’t know if that would be such a good idea.”
“Why?”
He gave me a funny look. “Have you ever been to the hospital? Even for a checkup?”
I frowned, thinking about it. “No.”
“Ellen was probably told your blood was different,” the woman with the song-like voice said. “Which, in your case…might be true.”
I looked over for the owner of the voice and saw two others just behind Daniel looking at me with smiles.
“Sorry,” Daniel apologized. “This is Beatrice and Han, my parents.”
“Hi,” Unable to stop myself, feeling slightly giddy, I added, “Han as in Han Solo? Do you have a Millennium Falcon?”
Another round of laughter.
“And you made fun of me for liking science fiction!” Daniel said indignantly.
“Well, it was funny,” I told him, sitting up so that I wasn’t the invalid patient anymore.
I blinked to clear the dizziness then looked around. Everything about the room was open and bright. The sofa I was on sat perpendicular to a fireplace large enough for me to stand in. Large windows and a sweeping view of the forest drew my eye beyond the other sofa. I looked back, wondering if that view would be mirrored on the opposite side of the house. It was even more spectacular. The windows framed a view of a large clearing backed by mountains. A small lake lay in the distance. Trees and hedges were everywhere in a pattern of organized growth.
To my left were a small kitchen and a short hallway with several doors. Beyond the hallway and kitchen was a large foyer. The foyer framed a massive front door and contained a set of stone stairs that curved around to the second floor. I looked up again and noticed that the second and third floors were exposed to the living room.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Clare,” Beatrice said.
I looked at her shyly, instantly struck by her beauty. She was the woman from the vision. Her auburn hair framed her round face, and her smile was exactly as beautiful and kind as I remembered. The man beside her was the one that had been teaching Daniel the Periodic Table. His smile was kind, but even more wonderful than I remembered. His brown eyes sparkled as if he held the secret of life. They both looked young, twenty-five at most, except for their ancient eyes, which was weird. They didn’t look any older than the memories I had shared with Daniel.
“It’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve…” I didn’t know how to finish. I hadn’t really ‘heard’ a lot about them, except that they were scientists and studied genetics, but I knew how much Daniel loved them. I had seen all the wondrous and amazing things they had done for him over the course of his life. I glanced at Daniel, feeling awkward. How does a person convey that much emotion to someone they’ve just met?
“Han, Beatrice, do you mind if Clare and I talk alone for a minute?” Daniel asked.
“Not at all, dear,” Beatrice answered. “We’ll be in the tower if you need anything.”  They disappeared down the hall and through one of the many doors on the right.
We looked at each other for a moment when they were gone, then I put my head in my hands. I was tired, but it was nothing like yesterday’s exhaustion. This was more manageable.
“Can I get you something?” Daniel asked anxiously.
“No. I’m just trying to think straight for our argument.”
“Are we going to argue?” he asked with a hint of laughter in his voice.  I looked up at him in disbelief. “Point taken,” he agreed, the laughter spreading to his eyes.
I groaned. “I don’t know where to start, though. There’s so much, and I feel so…”
“Overwhelmed?”
“Yes,” I agreed.
He reached out and cupped his hand on my cheek, as if he had touched me that way forever. “How about we start with the good things and work our way to the…less pleasant ones.”
“Okay. The vision?” I questioned. “Or should I say the joining?”
His eyes turned hard, and he dropped his hand. “Who told you it was called that?”
“Margaret. I…uh, I guess it was talking. I talked to her this morning.”
“She let you share her thoughts?” he asked, figuring out what I meant.
“Yes. Mainly, because she wanted to threaten me with pain and suffering if I hurt you.” I could see him working overtime to figure out what she had told me. “So, what is the joining?” I asked.
He took a deep breath. His foot started a slow beat on the floor. “It only happens to our kind when we encounter the person we’re meant to be with.”
“We don’t have any choice in the matter?” I asked.
“We do,” he said carefully. “There’s always a choice.”
“You don’t sound certain,” I replied.
“Ever been in love?” he asked. I didn’t reply. He didn’t need me to. “You haven’t. I saw that much. It’s a hard choice. Matters of the heart always are.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.
His lopsided grin was sarcastic. He plopped down next to me with casual indifference to the furniture and surveyed the view. “I’m mad at you,” he said.
“I figured.”
“Want to know why? Or do you care?”
His words hurt. “I know why,” I said tartly. “Whatever attacked Susan found us. There was this darkness…and something was inside it.”
He grabbed me again and double-checked for injuries. “You saw it? Did it hurt you?”
“No. I’m fine. Why were you out there?” I asked as he released me again. If I hadn’t of known better, I would have thought he kept trying to find reasons to touch me.
“The same reason Susan was. To find what attacked Ryan. We got hints of it last night near…after you were attacked…Um, we encountered it in the woods when you saved Susan, but I didn’t think…I thought you just got lucky.”
“You ran into it?” I asked, remembering the ripping sound and the yell.
“Let’s just say it won’t be a problem anymore.”
I shied away from the darkness of his tone. Did he mean what I thought he meant? “What was it? Why was it so dangerous?”
He stretched his long legs out, placing his feet on the coffee table. He settled deeper into the sofa, his mind working through an explanation. He bent his head to his chest as he thought. “I can’t start in the middle. Everything will get muddled. We never got to have our talk this morning so…”
“Yeah, cause you didn’t show up,” I pointed out.
“Which I explained,” he replied. “I was out stopping a murderer before it killed again.”
“Fine. Start at the beginning,” I said putting my feet on the coffee table as well.
“What do you know? How much did Ellen tell you?”
“She told me my father was a fallen angel…it sounds weird when I say it out loud. She told me the others like us, other half-angels, were out to get me because of some war. Each side hunts for recruits for that war…if you don’t get recruited, you die. It’s why we move so much.”
“Wow. So you’re saying you know nothing?”
“I know the first pop video was ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen,” I said tartly.
He chuckled. “I mean about you, us. What do you know about our world?”
“I know at seventeen we change from human to angel. We become wild and crazy with the desire to kill,” I said softly. “Ellen said my father was very clear on that point.”
“That’s not necessarily true,” he disagreed. “We have a hard time controlling our lust for death, but we do manage to suppress the feeling. Like with the joining, we have a choice.” His face was a strange contradiction of honesty and doubt.
“How do you control it?” I asked skeptically.
“With practice. You’ve noticed my eyes change color.” It wasn’t a question. He knew I had noticed. “You learn to control the anger that is the…gateway into the murderous urges. You learn to hold it at bay.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said. “If we can control our anger, we can stop the killing?”
“Yes…You don’t want to make me angry, though,” he said, mimicking the Hulk.
“Oh, no. Really? That’s horrible. I get that you like the comics…but…Worst. Impression. Ever.”
He was smiling. “I try.”
I eyed him carefully. “Seriously…if we find the strength to control our anger, we don’t lose control and go on murdering rampages, destroying whole towns and chomping up babies?”
“Yes.”
I let out an explosive breath at his words. He looked at me, understanding the feelings running through my body. His eyes still held doubt, however. Control must be harder than I was imagining.
“Go on with the story,” I said. “I’m fine.”
The fear I would turn into a crazy killer had been haunting me since Ellen had told me the truth. It had followed me as much as the danger of being found.
His eyes lingered on mine in concern as he started again. “So, the beginning…We’ve been called lots of things, but most refer to themselves as ‘Watchers.’ Sort of a misnomer...but it stuck. The war Ellen mentioned is very, very, real. Two brothers, Lorian and Darian, are fighting for power. They want control of all our kind…they simply want the humans dead. There is a legend that the brother who wins this ridiculous war will have more power than any other Watcher before him. They have been fighting for a very long time, longer than most can remember. They call it a ‘civilized war,’ but honestly, I’ve never seen a war more brutal and bloody. The brothers don’t care who dies. They just want to win…
“A long time ago, a man saw a way to make a lot of money off the war. His business was human trafficking…Watcher trafficking, really. He started a guild he calls Seekers. Their whole purpose is to hunt down people like you and me and turn us over to the brothers for profit. They have no allegiance beyond money. Those three, the brothers and the Seeker’s master, have killed thousands, maybe millions, of Watchers. It is a threat we must constantly be aware of. It is a threat that does not go away, no matter how far you are from civilization…”
“And what was that darkness in the woods?” I asked sensing a double meaning in his words.
“A Nightstalker,” he replied.
“Yeah…‘cause if you say it in that tone of voice I automatically know what you’re talking about…” I said irritably.
“It’s easier if I show you.”
He held his hand out. I hesitated, not wanting to be overwhelmed again so soon after our first shared vision. He urged me with his eyes to touch him, asking that I trust him. Our fingers met, and I felt overwhelming pressure similar to Margaret’s mind. He kept the pressure contained, however, not trying to crush me as she had. I saw flickering faces and places rush past in a dark wave.
“What was that?” I asked as the visions died.
“Nothing…Possibilities…Watch.” A scene appeared in my mind.
I saw a dark, rain-drenched street. Two lonely figures walked down the street, gas streetlights fluttering in the cold wind. I looked down at the figures from my perch high up on one of the many buildings surrounding us. Then, I looked to the left, and saw another figure on top of a building, one of the two people had not noticed. It looked like a dog, but a dog pulled from a person’s worse nightmares. Its ears were pointed like a dog’s and its eyes, which were a malevolent red, were framed by a mass of scales. Its massive body was thick with those same black scales. Large claws gripped the roof. The creature resembled an old gargoyle as it perched on its shadowy ledge.
Sniffing deeply, it caught the scent of the people. Its dreadful eyes lit up with happy expectation. That was enough for Daniel. I felt a downward movement in the memory as Daniel jumped from his perch to intercept the creature before it attacked the people. The memory cut off, and I knew he didn’t want me to see what had happened next.
“Hell!” I said.
“Yes,” he agreed.
“That demon…dog…thing was what was in the darkness?” I asked, my voice squeaking in fright.
“Yes. See why I’m mad?”
“Yes,” I said. “But why was the demon, Nightstalker, thing I saw surrounded by darkness? Is that something all Nightstalkers can do?”
“It’s his power,” he said.
“Power?” I asked.
“All Watchers have a power, sometimes more than one. It happens with the change. I can see the future, for instance. Not very well I’m afraid, but well enough.”
I ignored his strange admission. I was too caught in the meaning of his words. I popped off the sofa. “That thing was like us!”
“I said you have a choice. Some choose to cave into the monster and kill. That’s the result.”
“We change into that?”
“If we kill too often and start liking it,” he replied. “It’s a curse no one really understands…but it’s there all the same.”
“Right. No killing then,” I said sarcastically. “Let me get this straight. If I can survive the Nightstalkers and Seekers, and the war, I still have to deal with losing control and turning into a demon?”
“Excellent nut-shelling,” he said.
“Easy for you to say.”
“Not really. You were almost killed today,” he said. “Nothing about that is easy.”
“But you killed the Nightstalker first?” I asked to clarify.
“Yes.”
“I thought that was bad?”
His hands clenched. As they did, I remembered something from the first vision we had shared. The vision of him turning into a Nightstalker.
“It’s not going to happen to you,” I said trying to clear the image away. “I won’t let it happen.”
This was the purpose I had been searching for. It was suddenly obvious.
He kept his eyes on the view beyond the house and didn’t reply. I tentatively reached out and took his slender hand, lacing my fingers around his. He looked down at our joined hands then back at me.
His eyes were still sad, but he smiled. “Does this mean you like me?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Liar.”
“I never lie,” I said.
“Sure you don’t…” The smile faded. “I need you to tell me more about what happened in the woods. I have to understand. How did you get away from the Nightstalker?”
“I was hiking back with Susan when I saw it come out of the woods.” I touched the diamond at my neck. “Then this started to glow and that thing acted afraid, like it didn’t want to come any closer. I ran with Susan while it was distracted.”
Daniel picked up the diamond with his free hand and looked at it carefully. “This isn’t a diamond. Well, it is a diamond, but it’s more. It’s the tear of an angel. If I’m right, it’s your father’s.”
“My father’s?”
He nodded. I looked down at the necklace at a loss. This had been my father’s tear? Had Ellen known when she had given it to me?
“I thought these were a myth,” Daniel said.
“Is it an anti-Nightstalker weapon?” I asked pushing aside all my other questions.
“I honestly don’t know what it does,” he said. “I don’t know everything.”
“Do you know why the Nightstalker was hanging around?” I asked. “Why it killed Ryan Holt…or even if it killed Ryan?”
“I have a theory.”
“Care to share?”
“Well…Nightstalkers can belong to Seekers. I think Ryan saw something or overheard something he wasn’t supposed to, and he was killed for it. Nightstalkers prefer cities, because people are less likely to notice disappearances there. Having Seekers in the area who are controlling the Nightstalkers makes sense.”
“Seekers are here?”
“I think so,” he replied.
“Why?” He didn’t reply. He didn’t need to. His face said it all. “Oh. Me.”
“They won’t mess with us, though,” Daniel said. “They fear our powers, and last time we had a run in, it got messy. They leave us alone as long as we leave them alone.”
I knew what I had to do. “I should go. Ellen and I should go.”
“I can’t stop you, of course, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. They would just follow you. They are serious about money and you mean money to them.” His fingers tightened on mine. “I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. Or Ellen.”
He was keeping his thoughts behind a cloud of darkness, but a vision of him protecting me forever rose in front of my eyes. My eyes lingered on his lips as the thought caressed my brain. I hadn’t gotten to enjoy our other kisses, not the way a kiss should be enjoyed. We were very close; a couple of inches more and our lips would meet. He started to lean forward.
“Get your feet off my coffee table! Really, Daniel! You know better!” Beatrice barked from the hallway.
I hurried to take my feet off her table. Daniel did the same, our moment lost.  “Sorry,” he said.
Beatrice gave him a mom-look, then took a pile of papers off the dinner table. She disappeared back upstairs with a glare at her son.
“She’s very serious about her furniture.”
I laughed and looked out the window. Then I frowned. Why was the sun going down? Hadn’t I passed out sometime around ten or eleven this morning? I released Daniel’s hand and jumped off the sofa again. I started searching for my keys in frazzled anxiety. “Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap!”
“What?!” he exclaimed, trying hard not to laugh at the look on my face.
“I promised to pick Ellen up after work. I borrowed her car and….”
“Taken care of. I called her after I found you and er…did a little bit of lying.”
I looked at him suspiciously. “What did you say?”
“Well, I told her who I was – she seemed excited to talk to me – and that I wanted to take you out to dinner tonight. I told her that I ran into you in the woods while you were hiking, that we had both been searching for the missing Ranger. I also told her I would have Jackson bring her car over if she agreed to the date. She seemed willing to agree. Very willing.” His face melted into a grin. “Did you talk to her about me?”
I ignored his question. “So, she’s okay? And she didn’t have to worry about me passing out or getting attacked by Cujo?”
“Nope.”
I bent down and hugged him. “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.”
“What time does Ellen expect me back?” I asked.
“Not a minute after ten o’clock. You have school tomorrow.”
I settled into the cushioned seats again and threw a leg over his lap, suddenly feeling completely at ease with touching him. “You got any zombie movies?” I asked picking up the remote to the television. He tried to take it from me, but I slapped his hand away.
He laughed. “Tons.”
He gently pushed my leg aside, got up, and started digging though the large entertainment center. I smiled over at him. I hadn’t gotten all my questions answered, but at least I had gotten some…even if they were disturbing. I would worry about the other answers later. What mattered now was that we were together, not as Watchers, or kids with a terrible secret, but as a boy and a girl totally crazy about one another.


Chapter 12


I learned a lot from my evening at Daniel’s house. I learned that after the change Watchers don’t have to eat. It was aggravating to have a raging appetite from carrying a person through the woods only to discover that little factoid.
Beatrice came into the kitchen as Daniel searched for something to feed a hungry sixteen-year-old girl. “What are looking for?” she asked Daniel.
“Clare is hungry,” Daniel explained. “She’s trying to act like she isn’t, but her stomach is speaking louder than her mouth.”
“How come you don’t have food?” I asked. “Do you eat out a lot or…” Their faces answered my question. “Oh...”
“We don’t need to eat. Our bodies absorb energy differently…and metabolize differently. It’s really quite fascinating. See, what happens…” Beatrice started to explain.
Daniel coughed and shook his head at her. I sensed it was more to keep her from launching into a complicated explanation rather than it being an attempt to keep something from me.
She nodded and changed the subject. “We do go to the store for the sake of appearances, but I can’t stand the waste, so we give it to the less fortunate. People don’t connect our shopping trips to our donations. I’m afraid, though, that we don’t keep much food in the house.”
Daniel held up a can. “We have beets.”
“Pass,” I said.
“I forgot about those,” Beatrice said. She wrinkled her nose, and I noticed how young she looked. She was either extremely lucky to age so little, or something else was going on.
Encouraged by her kind tone and my curiosity, I asked the question before I thought about the possible answers, “I don’t mean to be rude, but how do you pass as anyone’s parent? You look so young…”
Daniel put the can back into the cabinet and stood, giving up on his search for edible food. “They wear makeup when they’re out in public and wigs that make them look older. Although, that’s sort of a double-edged sword,” he said as he sent a teasing look in Beatrice’s direction.
“How do you mean?” I asked.
“They overact being old. Despite Beatrice’s stint posing as a man in Shakespeare’s acting company – she got all the best female gigs – she hasn’t learned the art of downplaying a role. Personally, I think it made her worse.”
“Shakespeare?” I gasped.
Beatrice waved a hand in dismissal. “Oh, don’t be so impressed! He had the most appalling hygiene habits and, honestly, was a bit strange. Artists…”
Though her comment was bizarre to hear, especially in her matter-of-fact tone, I latched on to the more bizarre issue. “Watchers don’t age…we don’t age.” I turned to Daniel. “You don’t age.”
Beatrice gave us an understanding look, and started to walk away. “I’m going to go call for pizza. Is pizza good?”
“Just cheese please,” I said as I stared at Daniel.
“Already done,” she said.
“Well?” I demanded with my hands on my hips.
“We age, and we certainly die, it just takes us longer,” he answered.
“How much longer?” I asked. “How old are you?”
He raised an eyebrow. “What if you think it’s weird?”
“You’re worried that of all the weird things I’m learning about you, I’ll hate you for your age?” I asked.
“Yes.” He stepped away and turned his back to me.
“Trust me?” I asked.
“I do trust you,” he assured me quickly, turning around. I thought he wasn’t going to tell me, but then he continued very quietly, “A hundred of our years are roughly a year normal time. Last November, I met the hundred year mark. So, I guess that makes me about eighteen biologically.”
My heart thudded uncomfortably. How could he want me? How could he want a stupid, sixteen-year-old kid? I was a molecule compared to his universe.
“Is it as horrible as the expression on your face suggests?” he asked.
I shook my head and rushed to correct his misunderstanding. “How on earth can you find me interesting? I’ve not really begun to live yet. I haven’t even made it out of high school. You’ve seen so much, lived so much…how can I compete with that?”
He let out an explosive breath. “Somehow, your thoughts always manage to surprise me. The thoughts I hear from others never compare to things you say.”
“You can hear thoughts?” I asked, excited.
“All Watchers can hear human thoughts. It’s part of who we are. We can only hear each other’s through touch, and then, only if we let the other person in.”
“I sort of figured the last part out,” I said then added, “So, I’m not alone? You can hear what people think as well!” Someone else understood!
“I knew it! I knew you could hear thoughts!” Daniel’s pleasure at being right changed to a frown, and he muttered, “Which doesn’t make any sense.” He shook his head. “To get back to your question, my age and my experiences have nothing to do with what we have. I mean they’re important, yes…” he trailed off. “Look, I am who I am. It doesn’t matter how old I am. Besides, I really don’t feel that old.”
“As long as you don’t think I’m boring or anything…”
“That would be impossible.”
I knew nothing was impossible, but I also knew he was right. I liked his personality, not his age, and as long as the former didn’t change, I couldn’t see why I should have a problem with it. Besides, if we lived as long as he suggested, I would accumulate my own years and experiences.
“Why is it strange that I can hear thoughts?” I asked over my thoughts.
“We can’t hear thoughts until after the change. The change is a defense mechanism, so we stay hidden. It also keeps us from being able to start fires or snowstorms at the age of two, simply because we want a chocolate bar or something.” He shuddered slightly at the thought. “Seventeen is when the time code embedded on our genes kicks over and the angelic genes become dominant. The fact that your powers are developing before the change is very puzzling.”
“Oh.” I lifted one shoulder slightly in a question. “I feel like I’m getting so many answers but understanding so little.”
“We should stop talking about it, for now at least. Baby steps.”
“Are you calling me a baby?”
He smirked. “You act like one.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Name a time.”
“Not wanting to accept my jacket because the act is too chivalrous for your tastes. Arguing with me even when you know you are wrong. Or how about going into the woods when I explicitly warned you not to?”
“And you don’t act like a brat!” I retorted. I could see by his expression that he was already enjoying our fight. “Sneaking up to my room when I’m getting dressed! Bossing me around every chance you get! Or acting all superior when you win at something – like it would be possible for you to lose!”
“Yeah, well, you’re stubborn,” he responded, his eyes crinkling with laughter.
“Am not!” I retorted stubbornly.
“Are so!”
“Am not!” I insisted.
“You seem sort of stubborn to me,” a different voice replied.
I looked beyond Daniel at the new voice. Jackson walked into the kitchen, as confident as I was stubborn. His blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and his square face was changed by his smile. Daniel and I were forced to step apart to let Jackson’s large form into the kitchen. I had been right. Seeing him up close was extremely intimidating.
“Overruled,” Daniel said.
“He’s just agreeing with you ‘cause he’s your friend,” I said.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Jackson said.
“He wouldn’t do that,” Daniel confirmed.
“Margaret called and said she noticed another Seeker hanging by little miss stubborn’s house,” Jackson said. He reached out across the space and playfully ruffled my short hair. His familiarity was surprising, but I liked it. I realized in that instant that Jackson was a gentle giant. He, above the others, even Daniel, was the most natural around me.
Daniel closed his eyes, concentrating hard. “She won’t encounter the Seeker.” His eyes snapped open. “I need to go to the hospital.”
“What? Why?” I demanded.
“I saw Susan. They’ll try to kill her tonight unless they see it’s not worth the effort. Though, for some reason, the person that will make the attempt is obscured.”
“Why was Margaret near my house?” I asked, accepting the truth of his words, though it was strange to hear.
“We all take turns standing guard, ever since Daniel began to suspect what you are. The Seekers know where you live…and we are all dedicated to protecting the innocents who can’t change their role in this war.” Jackson answered with a shrug.
Daniel scowled at Jackson, annoyed. I stared at Daniel. Daniel found my eyes and stared back, his face resolute. “What? I’m not going to apologize for protecting you, or for wanting to stop people who are cold-blooded murderers.”
I crossed my arms. I was touched by the gesture but annoyed at the same time. I had explicitly told him I didn’t need to be protected like that. How long had he suspected what I was, anyways?
“You don’t happen to have any other superpowers I don’t know about. Like super hearing?”
He clamped his lips together and didn’t answer.
“We do, in fact, possess better than normal hearing,” Jackson replied helpfully.
Daniel held his hands out, his face upset. “What happened to brothers sticking up for each other?”
“This is funnier,” Jackson replied.  He turned back to me. “We’re also very strong, and we heal when hurt. Oh, and we can breathe for a long time underwater before we need oxygen…but I think you figured that out.”  I felt a blush threatening. “Did I leave anything out?” he asked Daniel.
“Just go. I don’t need your kind of help,” Daniel grumbled.
Jackson smiled playfully and left the kitchen, aware of the havoc he left in his wake.
“How much have you overheard and how angry should I be?”
“I really need to get to the hospital,” Daniel said ignoring my question. “Do you want to wait on your food and let Beatrice take you home, or do you want me to drive you?”
I scowled at him, not wanting to do any of his suggestions. Beatrice and Han walked through the doorway, saving him from the verbal lashing I had been preparing. They were both wearing lab coats and had markings around their eyes as if they had been wearing goggles.
“The pizza man might take a while, and he’ll most definitely get lost. People always seem to have trouble finding us,” Beatrice said.
“You can take me home,” I told Daniel. “Thanks for ordering the food, Mrs. Adams.”
“You’re very welcome and please, call me Beatrice.”
“Come back and see us,” Han said giving me a brief sideways hug.
“I will,” I promised.
Daniel threw his arm around my shoulders and steered me towards the door, giving his parents a serious look. Beatrice nodded once, like she understood what he was telling her. For people who couldn’t read each other’s thoughts without touching, they did a lot of facial communication. Daniel paused next to the front door. “You don’t have a jacket. I forgot. I left it around the Ranger.”
“I’m fine.” I mimicked his superior tone, “I’m tough. I can handle it.”
He snorted and opened a small door to the right. As he opened it, I felt my jaw drop. The jacket closet looked less like it was a closet and more like it was a shopping center specifically for jackets.
“Spill on aisle five,” I joked. “Did you get a discount for buying in bulk?”
“Pick one. It doesn’t matter which.”
I saw his letterman jacket hanging near the front. I moved towards it then hesitated. Since when was I all for the school colors? Besides, it was his jacket. He had earned it. I didn’t want to take it from him. Noticing my hesitation, Daniel took it off the hanger and held it for me to put on.
“I don’t want to take your jacket,” I protested.
He shook it commandingly.
I sighed, knowing I would lose this particular battle, and let him help me into it. I smiled happily as the soft fabric kissed my skin, and Daniel started laughing. “Dork,” he accused me.
“Proudly,” I said.
He picked out a leather jacket and casually threw it on. It left an immediate impression. With the leather jacket over the dark band shirt and the casual blue jeans he was wearing, he looked like a rock star. I stared at him, wondering how I hadn’t seen this side of him earlier. He looked sort of rebellious. And, suddenly, totally, my type.
“You’re ogling me,” he whispered, draping his arm over my shoulders again.
“I really am.” I waved my hands vaguely. “I stopped judging you as a jock, but I never saw how rebellious you really look.”
“That’s because I didn’t want you to see it. It’s the front I put up at school, so people don’t look closer. But…I want you to see the real me.”
He opened the front door for me with a smile. As he paused to shut the door again, I took in the scenery. The front of his house was closed in by the forest, except for a gravel drive and large stone front steps. Bushes, that looked as if they were eager for spring, made the woods feel more manicured than an average forest.
Daniel led me down the sweeping stone steps toward his black Audi. “You’re into indie rocker guys who have a hint of mystery and rebellion up their sleeves, then?” he asked sardonically, teasing me.
I raised an eyebrow mockingly. “You’re just missing the tattoo on your forearm and the sap story about how you bought your first guitar.”
“If I did have a tattoo on my forearm, what would it say?” he asked, a funny expression crossing his face.
“Something mysterious, of course, like a song lyric or a Chinese symbol that means peace, or balance, or something profound.”
He opened the car door for me, his green eyes full of laughter. As I got in, I looked past him and saw that his house was made entirely of stone and dark slate. It had dead ivy branches crawling across, that would look like moss on the stone in the spring and summer. Even in the dark light of evening, it was extraordinarily beautiful and seemed to fit the Adams’ simple, but grandiose, way of living. Staring up at it, I felt as if I had just stepped out of a fairy tale with Prince Charming and was preparing to drive out into a reality that was far less beautiful.
“What if I told you I did have one on the inside of my wrist that no one ever notices?” he asked as he slammed his door shut.
“I wouldn’t believe you.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “It would make you too perfect.”
He smiled. “I would need a motorcycle as well right? Black and silver?”
“Hm….” I looked at him and felt the tension boiling up between us again. I hadn’t thought it possible to find him cuter, but I did. “A motorcycle wouldn’t hurt. But you’d still need the guitar.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” he said seriously, pushing a button on his visor. A black gate across the dirt road silently swung open at his touch.
“I was just kidding,” I laughed.
“You’d be surprised how much of that really is me, though.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t.”
We were silent for a moment as I worked hard to control the thoughts I was having about him. There were more than a few.
“Alex is going to call you when you get home,” he said into the silence.
“What about?”
“She heard about you. One of the hunters we met up with is a friend of her father. They mentioned you were the one who found the Ranger. You’re going to get an earful, but you’ll handle it gracefully.” His voice was certain.
“You mean you didn’t tell them it was you?” I asked.
I figured he had lied and told them he had saved the woman and had found me wandering around, or that we had been together…or anything but the truth.
“Well, no. You saved her life. I wouldn’t take that from you in a million years. I still remember the first person I saved. That never fades.”
I put my head against the headrest and closed my eyes. “I understand that. It’s just that tomorrow is going to be miserable.”
“Why?”
“I’ll have to hear all of the kids thinking about it, wondering how I found her, and then there will be the stares, and the questions, and the people who will be suspicious, because I was supposed to be recuperating from getting blown up today, and it’ll just be miserable...”
“I didn’t know I was doing all that,” he said trying not to laugh. “I promise you won’t hear anything when I’m around at least. Doesn’t that sort of make up for it?”
I’d forgotten about that. “Speaking of that…Why can’t I hear when you’re around?”
“I sort of do it on purpose.” He saw my expression and hurried to explain. “I know how hard it is when the gift first develops. It can be overwhelming. When I saw you that night in town, I thought I recognized what you were going through. I didn’t know for sure, but whenever I was around you, I kept up the…protection, thinking it couldn’t hurt. Just in case.”
I whacked him on the arm and the car swerved across the dark road. “Hey!” he said, trying to exaggerate the hurt to his arm.
“Why can’t you just teach me how to do that for myself! Then I wouldn’t need you to do it for me!”
“I didn’t know for sure you could read thoughts until today.”
“Oh.”
He pulled to a stop and I blinked in surprise. I looked at my sprawling house, which had every single light on, except for the ones in my attic. “How’d that happen?” I asked.
“Time flies by when you’re having fun.” He stared out at the forest, his eyes thoughtful.
“Daniel?”
“Yes, Clare?” His voice was a silky purr, and my heart started thumping wildly.
“I’m sorry for making you leave yesterday,” I said. “For acting weird after the vision.”
“I can’t remember a time when you didn’t act weird,” he joked. “You were overwhelmed. I get it,” he tacked on.
He opened his door and got out. I followed him slowly, not eager to end our time together. We walked across the lawn in silence, our body language a strange mixture of calm and tension. Was he as reluctant to leave as I was to let him?
He stopped at the stairs and faced me. “I respect you helping Susan, but please don’t go into the woods again,” he begged.
“I won’t,” I promised.
“Right…”
There was an awkward pause, the most awkward since we’d been together. What was he thinking, and why were his eyes so hard to read all of a sudden? I couldn’t stand the tension – I had to act.
I let the screen-door slam back and stepped down the two stairs separating us. I grabbed the front of his jacket and kissed him. His surprise didn’t last long. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back. I didn’t see any visions or feel a ‘joining’ of emotions. I simply felt his lips on mine and his electric touch against my skin.
“You’re sort of pushy,” he teased, his lips still touching mine.
“Yep.”
He lightly traced the side of my face with the tips of his fingers, his face still very close. “Goodnight.”
“Night.”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Normally, you say something smart when I say goodbye.”
“I’m saving up my smart replies for when I can think straight,” I told him.
He laughed and kissed me again, a brief goodbye kiss. My happiness faded. “Be careful with whatever you’re doing tonight. But don’t let them get Susan. I couldn’t bear the thought of them killing her after she was strong enough to survive…”
He reached out and touched my necklace, then moved his fingers along my collar bone like he was thinking of the right thing to say. “Trust me.”
I nodded and opened the screen door slightly. “I do.”
His voice stopped me before I could go inside. “Clare?”
“Yeah?”
“You make my jacket look hot.”
I rolled my eyes, secretly pleased. He grinned, knowing how I liked the compliment, then left. He walked back to his Audi, his hands tucked in his pockets. I waited at the screen-door for him to leave, wishing I could see him in the dark-tinted car. I waved when he drove off, his red tail lights the only light on the dark street. Not knowing if he had waved back, I went inside. I shut and locked the door after me, checking the deadbolt twice to be sure.
Ellen was sitting on the couch to my left, bundled up in her favorite afghan. Her shoulders were hunched forward as she watched the television. I smiled, realizing why the house was lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Hi,” I said, walking into the living room.
“Ahhh!!!”  She jumped and slid off the couch in shock, looking absolutely, wonderfully ridiculous. I laughed and went over to help her up.
“You’re a spazz.” I looked at the TV “Which one is it? The guy that never dies or the guy that attacks you in your sleep?”
“Neither of them dies, that’s why there are so many sequels, but it’s Jason this time.” She put a hand over her heart and looked at me sheepishly. “What are you doing home so early?”
“Are you complaining that I’m early and I follow your curfews, or are you upset I scared you?”
She stuck her tongue out. “I just thought you would want to make the most of your time with your new boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend, Mom.”
“If you say so, sweetie.” She smirked. “Nice jacket. A friendly gesture I take it?”
I kissed her on the cheek, not able to hide my good mood any longer. “I love you,” I told her, “even if you are a pain in the…”
The phone rang, echoing through the house with a sharp, startling noise. Her wide eyes returned to the television to watch as someone else died in a morbidly creative way. “Get that will you, sweetie?” she asked.
“Yeah. It’s probably Alex. I’m expecting her call.”
I ran to the kitchen and picked the phone up. “Hello?”
“If you ever do that to me again, I will de-friend you quicker than you can say southern-fried-chicken, do you understand me?” The words sounded as if they were being forced through clenched teeth.
“Hi Alex.”
“You had no right to go wandering off into the forest like that. And you certainly had no right including me in your ridiculous plan. Are you aware of what’s been happening to people? Did you know the woman you found has a broken arm, internal bleeding, a concussion, and was in the beginning stages of hypothermia? Are you aware that could have been you? What do you know about hiking? Did you even go prepared? I bet you were wearing that stupid jacket of yours. And those shoes! Do you have any idea of how worried I’ve been? You didn’t even tell me what you were planning! I can’t believe you! Of all the stupid things!”
I smiled into the phone as she continued to shriek, knowing she was this mad because she cared about me and I had worried her. As she spoke, I fixed a sandwich, my hunger increasing now that I was home and didn’t have the distraction of Daniel. When she finally stopped yelling and demanded an explanation, I gave her mine, not sharing everything, but explaining my desire to do some good, knowing she would forgive me.
As I sat down at the table with my food, my lips flying over my explanation, I felt an amazing surge of warmth. I had thought that moving here would be hell. I had thought that nothing could compare to the places I had lived in and loved, but this place had somehow managed to creep up and surprise me. I’d never been happier. Happy except for the fact that I was perched on the edge of a coming storm.


Chapter 13


“Blue?” 
“Nope.”  I smirked over my bow and arrow. We were in gym again. We were supposed to be shooting arrows at innocent targets. Not much of that was happening.
“Yellow?”
“Double nope.”
“Come on! Tell me.” Daniel demanded, trying out his charm smile.
“I’m looking for a word and that word is….nope.”
He looked down the line of students, his eyebrows creased. “You’re not going to make this easy at all?”
“If I made it easy, you wouldn’t enjoy the answer half as much.”
“What if I didn’t tell you my favorite color?”
I shrugged. “I’m more interested in your favorite book.”
“That’s not fair,” he said, irritated.
He shot an arrow with more force than necessary. It dug into the target deeper than it should have, but I was the only one who noticed.
“That’s my line,” I said knocking another arrow and releasing it.
“Truce?” he asked, ignoring his bow and arrow all together as he turned to me.
“Define truce.”
“If I tell you my favorite book, I get to give you a kiss in front of everyone, and you have to tell me your favorite color.” His eyes were playful.
“That proposition seems weighted heavily in your favor; therefore, I must decline,” I replied.
He had been itching to kiss me in front of everyone since I’d arrived this morning, which I couldn’t understand. I’d never had a guy this serious about showing the world we were together.
“You mean me kissing you in front of everyone would be something only I would enjoy?” he asked, still playful.
I hesitated. “I wouldn’t mind the kissing part…”
“But you don’t want everyone to see.” He seemed hurt by the thought.
“Loner, Punk chick, who loves not to be the center of attention…does that sound like someone who would enjoy having people stare at me while I kiss the most gorgeous guy in school?”
“No. But I can see,” he tapped his temple with one long finger, “that if I kiss you in front of all these good people, not only will we be whistled at, and I will personally enjoy it, but Mark, who is, as we speak, plotting ways of getting you away from me so that he can ask you out, will in turn ask Jennifer, because he thinks it will make you jealous.”
“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole kissing in front of people thing and I’ve decided it’s not such a bad idea.” I threw my bow to the ground.
He stepped closer to me, peeking through his lashes in that way he knew was seductively beautiful. “Oh yeah?”
“And not just because it will get Mark away from me,” I said, mimicking his expression. “I think I’d like to let all these girls know that you are officially off the market.” It came out fiercer than I’d intended.
He stepped even closer and wrapped his hands around my hips drawing me to him. “We’re going to get detention for this,” he warned.
“Life’s tough.”
He pressed his body into mine forcefully and kissed me in a way that, if I hadn’t known we were surrounded by people, would have made me think we were alone, in a dimly lit place. I caved in to the kiss, not caring about people seeing, more concerned with the way he felt. A chorus of whistles rang out from Daniel’s friends. The girls cried out in disappointed shock. He released me slowly.
“Green. That’s my favorite color,” I said.
“East of Eden. That’s my favorite book.”
Coach blew his ridiculous orange whistle. “Detention! Adams, you know we don’t allow kissing at school!”
“Sorry, Coach. I, um, forgot.”
I heard giggles and more whistles. Looking down the line, I saw that every single person was staring at us with their mouths hanging open. I heard their thoughts – Daniel wasn’t putting up the shield as requested. Most of them weren’t flattering. But, at least they weren’t about the pool incident.
How did she get him!?
There is no freaking way!
I knew she was freaky.
Slut.
I can’t wait to tell everyone about this!
Figures!
How did she get the hottest guy in school?!
I thought he didn’t date!?
Damn him! And I was going to ask her out today. I didn’t think he was the type to go for a girl just because she’s loose, but I guess we all fall prey to it. I don’t know whether to congratulate him or hate him. I guess I can’t hate him. We had the same idea. At least, I know he’ll get some.
I placed my hand on Daniel’s arm, noticing his face. Impressions of what he wanted to do to Mark floated through my head at the touch, and for a moment, I felt overwhelmed by his anger. His fists clenched eagerly as an image of Mark lying dead on the field floated up. His eyes flashed black and I heard the bow he had picked back up start to crunch.
Daniel! I yelled in his mind, frightened of how close he was to the edge. I don’t care what he thinks about you or me. What matters is that we know the truth!
He struggled for a moment more, then he nodded. The darkness and the scenes of death disappeared. I released his arm. He took another deep breath and uncoiled his hand.
“You look much better when you don’t have murder on the brain,” I said, trying to hide my fear at seeing him that close to losing it.
His grin was tainted by guilt as he went back to shooting arrows. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed our strange exchange. People had started up their own conversations and were ignoring us.
“Hey, I wanted to ask you about…you know…what happened yesterday. About Susan.”
“Nobody came around. I guess they knew I was there. I got to…talk to Susan some. I’ll tell you everything I found out at lunch.”
“You mean I get to see where you magically go every day?” I asked with false excitement.
“Yeah. But you’ll have to ride on a rainbow and put up with some really angry leprechauns to get there.”
“Sounds fun.”
“All right! Everyone back to the lockers! Leave your bows and arrows where you found them. Adams! Michaels! Get over here.”
We turned and walked shoulder to shoulder to get our penance for finally getting Mark to leave me alone.

Time has a funny way of messing with your head. When you are most eager for it to fly by, you notice it the most, and that’s when it slows down to the point where it feels as if it’s not moving at all. It definitely wasn’t moving now. I tapped my pen on the desk in front of me in agitation, knowing where Daniel had picked up the habit. He was always waiting for time to catch up with him. I could hear each tick of the clock. Tick. Tick. Tick. It was driving me insane.
“Clare? Do you know the answer?”
I looked up at the Spanish teacher, hearing the proper answer in her thoughts. “Vivo, Vives, Vive, Vivimos, and Viven.”
Huh. I could have sworn she wasn’t paying attention. Maybe, next time… “That’s right, Ms. Michaels.”
Her lips clenched over her large front teeth. She kept trying to trip me up, not impressed that I always had the answers. It was annoying. I went back to staring at the clock. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

I wonder if she really kissed Daniel this morning. Jennifer said she just attacked him. That doesn’t really seem like her. I may not talk like the others do to her, but I wouldn’t think she would just attack someone. Sounds to me like Jennifer was just jealous. Davis was walking with me to lunch. We always walked together from Spanish to lunch, though he rarely spoke.
I chuckled at his thoughts and shouldered my bag to hide the sound. “Did you see that movie I was telling you about?” I asked him.
We maneuvered our way through the swarming people, breaking apart and coming back together again.
“No. I was sort of…” he paused shyly. Wanting to ask Alex to it.
An idea formed. An idea that was as beautiful as it was simple.
“I was thinking about taking a bunch of people to go see it this Friday. Would you want to come?”
“Who were you thinking of inviting?”
“Daniel, Alex, other people. What do you say?”
His eyes lit up. “That would be cool.”
We walked into the cafeteria and our conversation cut off as the swarm of thoughts battered at me. I felt an instant migraine threatening. I had been so intent on playing cupid that I had forgotten to prepare myself. Not that my preparation ever did a lot of good. I resisted the urge to put my hands over my ears, but only just. Davis gave me a funny look, wondering why I suddenly looked hurt.
Before I could form an excuse, the sound cut off. An arm was thrown over my shoulder by way of explanation.
“Hi,” Daniel whispered in my ear. “Penny for your thoughts?”
I laughed and looked over at him. “My thoughts are worth a quarter, minimum.” He laughed as I added, “Did you know that you whisper in my ear a lot?”
“Yes,” he whispered again, tickling my neck.
“I’m going to go and…” Davis gestured vaguely toward the lunch line.  He walked into the milling crowd that was standing around waiting to be fed and watered.
“You’re for sure coming Friday, right?” I called after him.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
Davis ducked behind a line of seniors, disappearing from view. I wondered if he was embarrassed because he had seen through my scheme to get him on a date with Alex, or if we were being too affectionate for his tastes. I knew he harbored a minor sort of crush on me, nothing compared to his Alex crush, but the feelings of jealousy lingered.
“Are you feeling Puckish?” Daniel asked, steering me toward the line.
“How do you mean?” I asked innocently as I played with the hand draped over my arm.
“You’re trying to get Alex and Davis together.” It wasn’t a question.
I looked away, embarrassed at being caught. I wasn’t one to stick my nose into other people’s private lives – I had enough of everyone’s private lives, thank you very much – but I wanted to share the love.
“Yeah, well, it would be selfish for me to find happiness and not share it with my best friend. I’m certain that’s a friend rule. Number sixteen, I think”
“Share what with your best friend?” Alex asked, catching my last words as she came up to us. “Hiya, Daniel.”
“Alex.” He smiled and gave her a nod. “Keeping everyone in line today?”
“I’ve been trying.” She smiled back then turned to me. “Share what with your best friend?”
“A movie. This Friday,” Daniel answered for me. “We’re going with some people.”
She looked between the two of us. “At the new theater in Asheville?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
“All right. I could use some city living for a night.”
Jennifer came bouncing up, bubbling with good humor. “Guess what!”
“Banana Republic is having a sale?” I asked sarcastically before I could stop myself.
Daniel smiled.
“The Jonas Brothers are coming to Asheville on their tour?” Alex grinned at me.
Jennifer made a face. “No! Mark just asked me out!”
“That’s awesome!” I said, meaning it.
She started talking a hundred miles a minute, going over all the details, and Alex took pity on us. She started guiding Jennifer back to their normal table, nodding occasionally and offering words of encouragement whenever Jennifer paused for a breath. I felt a surge of affection for Alex as she walked away, glad that I had her on my side. Glad, too, that she had picked up on the fact we weren’t going to be sticking around for lunch. I picked out the first things I touched and paid without caring what it was. I ate my food as we walked back out into the hall.
His lips tickling my ear Daniel said, “Alex really is a cool girl, but I’d like to figure out how she sees so much.”
“No kidding.”
“She was trying to tell you things with her thoughts by the way.”
I’d forgotten that she’d figured out I could read minds. Everything else that had happened had distracted me.
“What was she saying?” I asked cautiously, worrying what his reaction would be.
“‘I told you so’ and my name figured quite prominently.”
I rolled my eyes. “What…” I started to ask.
“I know that Alex won’t say anything,” Daniel assured me. “She hasn’t said anything about me yet and she’s known I’m weird for a long time.”
“I thought we talked about you blocking out the other’s thoughts,” I said.
“I forgot.”
“Buying a pet rock is the sort of thing people try and forget...not this.”
He laughed. “I’m sorry! Call it instinct, but I can’t help but want to protect you from…all that. You can’t get mad at me because I care!”
“I bet I can,” I said in a combative voice. He laughed, and I made a face. “It’s helpful, I admit, but…I just want to take care of myself as far as that’s concerned.”
“You want to take care of yourself as far as everything is concerned.” He shook his head in exasperation. “Are you done eating? We need to go.”
“Yep.” I threw my banana peel in the trashcan. We were next to a large door that led out into the woods. “We’re going outside?”
“Yes.”
He pushed open the door. Tall pine trees were across a short, empty gravel lot. I wasn’t sure of the lot’s real purpose, but it was certainly useful. I could hear the thoughts of kids who had sneaked out back to smoke, and Coach, who was hiding in his car so he could drink his whiskey. Daniel’s feet were silent on the gravel. I tried to be just as quiet, but failed miserably. Luckily, the others were too interested in not getting caught to be curious about the noise. It took only seconds to reach the safety of the woods.
“I thought I wasn’t allowed in the woods,” I said as the shady branches arched above us. They were a canopy of protection against the bitter, blue sky.
“Alone,” Daniel clarified.
Pine needles created a thick carpet to our steps, allowing us to pass virtually unnoticed. Daniel set the pace for our walk, his long legs eating up the distance. We walked for about five minutes, but it was five minutes too long. Even though I was with Daniel and knew I was safe, I couldn’t stop my sense of fear. My eyes scrutinized every fallen tree and odd limb for the dog-like shape of the Nightstalker I had learned was every Watcher’s worst nightmare. My encounter with the living nightmare was still too fresh for comfort.
“Here we are,” he said releasing my hand.
I looked around. The trees had thinned, but this part of the forest looked like every other part. What was special about here? Rope stairs descended from a tree almost in response to the thought. I looked up. Jackson grinned down from an artfully concealed structure. “A tree house?” I asked. “Do I need a secret password?”
“No. Passwords are too easily learned. We have retinal scanning up here,” Jackson said.
I frowned at him, trying to decide if he was serious.
“He’s kidding,” Daniel said. “Jackson thinks he’s funny.”
“He’s about as funny as getting hit in the knees with a baseball bat,” I replied.
Margaret appeared behind Jackson, her beautiful face bland and unemotional. She didn’t look at me. “Did you tell her?”
“I was about to.”
Daniel held out the stairs for me to climb. I clambered up, feeling as if my childhood dream of having a tree house was falling short. I could have never imagined a tree house this cool looking. Jackson helped me up on the platform then held the wood door open for me. Daniel followed quickly, walking on my heels as I entered. My jaw dropped at what I saw inside.
The tree house was beyond cool. It was elegant. It was expensively decorated, complete with a small sofa and two chairs. There were paintings on the walls and thick carpets on the ground. The roof was tin and arched over the decorations with a strange grace. It was the Better Homes and Gardens of tree houses.
Daniel laughed at my stunned expression. “Impressed?”
“Totally.”
“I figured if I was going to come here every day, I might as well be comfortable.”
He gestured for me to sit on the couch.
“Does this make Margaret and Jackson the angry leprechauns?” I asked.
He snorted with laughter as they followed us in and sat down. The room got warmer as they sat, like someone had turned up the sun. I relaxed into the sofa, the tension from clenching at the cold leaving my body.
“Thanks Margaret,” Daniel said.
She nodded at him and took Jackson’s hand. Thanks for what? Glaring?
“I think I have some answers about who is tracking you,” Daniel said to me. “Some answers and infinitely more questions.”
My eyes stopped roaming around the room. “Are you sure they’re not after one of you?” I asked hopefully.
“Gee, thanks,” Jackson said dryly.
“Definitely you,” Daniel answered quietly.
“Oh, just show her,” Margaret said. “She’ll just keep asking stupid questions until you do.”
“Sixty years old and she still hasn’t learned patience,” Jackson joked, kissing her hand. I watched as all Margaret’s irritation melted, and I knew that she didn’t have to learn. He was her patience.
Daniel moved closer to me and put out his hand, palm up, as he’d done yesterday. I took a deep breath, still a little uneasy with the visions and thoughts I had encountered so far. They seemed so foreign and vast, like a whole ocean, compared to the baby tide I was used to dealing with. I placed my hand on his and closed my eyes. His thoughts were immediate. This will look funny because I saw it through her distorted memories and she was on painkillers at the time, he warned me. Just…Just try not to freak out about what you hear.
Okay.
Everything went dark then blurred with color.
I was in the forest. I could feel the wind, which was crisp and bitter as it beat against my face, but everything was slightly distorted, as if I was looking through cellophane or water. There was a moment where I felt separated from Susan, then there was a strange merging of thought.
She bent down and touched a leaf that was dripping with slime and drool. Next to the leaf was a footprint, a human one. She investigated it closer and realized there were more.
Next to the human footprint was another print. It looked like a cougar, but it was too big, the toes too far spaced, the claws too large. She followed the direction they were pointing, noticing two more tracks on the bed of the forest about five hundred yards away. They were the same and were very obvious, like whoever had made them didn’t care if they were seen.
She bent down to examine the tracks further, and as she did, she heard the sound of arguing. She froze, and I could hear her thoughts of interest and curiosity. Setting her pack down, she started to creep forward, her first instinct one of caution. She stopped at the crest of the mountain she had been climbing.
In the distorted haze of color and movement, I saw three human figures and two Nightstalkers. Two of the three human figures were exceptionally tall and lean. The third was stooped but broad shouldered – a result of years of hard labor and unyielding hard knocks. Their faces, because of the distortion, and the distance, were fuzzy and difficult to see. I thought one of the tall figures had to be a woman, because of her curves and the blonde hair down to her waist. The other tall figure appeared to be a man with short brown hair. The stooped man had his back to us, and I couldn’t see anything beyond his shoulders and short, grey hair. Susan held her breath and listened.
“Marcus doesn’t care about your excuses, old man. Marcus cares about results. Selene had to kill that man because of a moment of carelessness on your part and now more humans are on to us. You have risked everything we’ve spent the last two years building. Two years of following the girl almost ruined! You have yet to prove to us that your promises of capturing and learning more about the girl are real. Is this how you repay the gifts we give? Or have you simply outlived your usefulness?”
The voice was smooth and honeyed. It was a poison that tasted sweet until the bitterness of death consumed you. It was issuing from the blonde woman. She shifted like a lion on the prowl as she spoke, her anger obvious. From the way she moved, I could tell she was a Watcher. Her grace was too alien, too precise, to be human.
“Lady Cassandra, she is being protected!”
A sliver of fear the Forest Ranger didn’t know went through me. I knew that voice! It was the voice I had been hearing all over the place. It was the voice that hungered for my death.
“Enough with your excuses! If we find out the fire at that school was you, we will not be happy,” the brown-haired Watcher said. “You were sent to watch – to find a way to get close to the girl – not to extract your own form of justice. You had best remember that.”
“I am loyal to our cause,” the old man said. He shifted his weight uncomfortably.  “I would never risk what we are working for in a moment of anger.”
The old man must have had some ability to block them out at will, or had learned it, because they obviously weren’t reading his thoughts. From the tone of their voices, this fact irritated them. But then why had I heard him? More importantly, why did he hate me so much?
“You had better be certain of that,” Lady Cassandra warned in her viciously sweet voice.
“I am, Lady! Most certain!”
There was a pause in which the demons behind the Watchers shifted hungrily. Their red eyes trained on the old man with a blood lust that chilled me to the bone.
“Mistress, may I ask…why are we watching her, or bothering to learn about her at all? Why not just kill her? I heard Marcus say…”
“You do not speak of Marcus!” she hissed. “You are not worthy to even utter his name in your most desperate hour!”
He flinched. “Sorry, my lady.”
She started pacing, like a lion trapped in a metal cage. “Marcus has his reasons. He has a reason for everything, even if he doesn’t choose to share it with you. Your job isn’t to question that purpose, but to obey. That is the price you pay for the gifts we have given you.”
She didn’t know either. This Marcus didn’t give her explanations, just orders.
“Of course,” the old man said. From his tone of voice, I knew he wasn’t fooled.
“Now go!” Lady Cassandra commanded. “I want a way to get close to her by tonight. Do not fail me…”
“I won’t fail.” The old man bowed low then walked off through the woods.  I cursed the memory I was in, wishing I could see his face. See the face of my enemy.
“What would he say if he knew where we had gotten that blood from?” Cassandra’s counterpart asked with mocking laughter in his voice.
“He is not to know,” she hissed.
“I know that,” he retorted, his veneer of malice replaced by petulance and a bitter sarcasm. “Do you really think he will find a way? He’s crazy…and not to be trusted.”
“We have our orders to stay back and not get involved. Marcus said to trust the humans in this.”
“Perhaps, the old man was right…can’t we just kill the girl? She doesn’t seem that special to me. More like a hassle than any kind of new beginning.”
“Are you questioning Marcus?” Her anger increased. “Are you questioning me?”
He bowed mockingly. “No, my Lady Cassandra.”
One of the Nightstalkers nuzzled the woman. She touched it fondly, stroking it on the snout. Her anger disappeared at the touch. “Quite right, Selene,” Cassandra said.
“What does she say?”
“She says we should stop arguing and let her have the human at the top of the hill.”
“Of course. We let it linger here too long. And I know how your mother loves a fresh kill.”
The man was laughing at the thought. I was appalled. That beast was Cassandra’s mother?
I couldn’t see their faces, or any other form of precise detail, but I could see Cassandra’s eyes when she looked up at Susan. The Ranger’s memories were strong on that point. They were coal black and deader than the darkest pit of hell. They were the only vivid thing on her face. They burned into my brain, etching lines of terror into my memories.
Susan scrambled away from the hill and started running. She didn’t understand what was happening but knew that death would arrive on swift wings if she didn’t get away.
Daniel dropped his hand and I gasped. My return to the present was not as smooth as previous ventures into the past. “I think I’m going to be sick,” I warned.
Susan’s fear was just too immediate, her emotions having merged too much with mine. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and my muscles tensed around the churning in my gut.
“Take her outside,” Margaret demanded.
Daniel rushed me to the door. Pulling me into his arms, he leapt to the ground and gently set me down again as soon as he landed. I immediately collapsed to all fours and threw up.
When my lunch was on the carpet of pine needles, I sat back on my haunches. I turned to stare at Daniel, appreciating his dark features, taking courage from the pain he had endured over long years. Needing comfort, I pulled him into my arms. He held me tightly, creating a shield against the world.
“They’ve been hunting me for two years! What if they hurt Ellen…what if they hurt you? They’re going to figure out all they have to do is threaten you to get whatever the hell they want.” I pushed him away. “I can’t let them do that!”  Backing away, my eyes wide with fear, I continued, “I won’t let them hurt you! We can’t be together anymore…if they see how crazy I am about you…”
I felt a weight in my chest and I wondered if I could follow through with what I was saying. A part of me doubted it. But another part, a part that wanted to do everything I could to protect him, told me that I would at least try.
Daniel grabbed my arms to stop my retreat. “I didn’t have to show you that, but I thought you should know. I thought we could decide what the best thing is to do. I thought I would give you that chance. If you leave me because you’re afraid they’ll hurt me, you’ll end up killing me yourself.”
Some of my fear lessened at my skepticism. “You won’t die from heartbreak, if that’s what you mean. That’s ridiculous.”
He ignored my comment. “We know they want you, we know that they are willing to do anything to get you. But we also know they want to study you, rather than sell or kill you. That gives us time to form a plan to take them out first. If we can figure out who this stooped man is, what his weaknesses are, we can find a direct line into what they want.” He shook me in frustration and I felt my brain rattle. “You can’t be Ms. Independent and shut me out, not now. Not after I finally found you.” His usually melodic voice was rough with anxiety.
I reached up and touched his face, surprised by the hint of dark stubble. He was letting his normal look of perfection slip a bit. I rested my hand there for a moment then gave him a light slap, knowing it wouldn’t hurt him.
“Don’t shake me like that again,” I warned.
He started laughing. “I’ll take that to mean you’ll help me figure this out, instead of running away?”
I thought about it, trying to decide what was best. “Yes...Thank you for being honest with me.”
He shrugged.  “I respect you too much to lie, and keeping secrets only keeps you ignorant. And keeping someone ignorant isn’t protecting them.”
“Amen,” I agreed. “What’s our first move? How can we make sure everyone stays safe? How do we find out what these people want without letting them get close?”
“They aren’t the only Watchers in town,” Daniel said emphatically.  “Whereas they only know how to hunt and use people for their ends we know…” he picked up a rock off the forest floor and made it disappear, “magic.”
Jackson and Margaret dropped down behind Daniel. “Beatrice and Han have also agreed to put away their science and watch over your mom and the other humans you have befriended until this situation is resolved,” Jackson said to reassure me. Pretending to swing a bat he added, “So, we’ve got all the bases covered.”
“You’ve got to go back. The bell is going to ring in five minutes and thirty-two seconds.” Margaret said.
“I know,” Daniel agreed.
Jackson gave me a funny little wink before he and Margaret walked off in the opposite direction of the school. I spotted two four wheelers in the distance and was instantly jealous about their mode of transportation.
“Five minutes and thirty-two seconds?” I asked sardonically.
“Internal clock,” Daniel said. “You have no idea what a century is like with an internal clock.”
I shivered at the thought.
“How do you know them? Jackson and Margaret.”
“Ran into Jackson during the 1940s. Literally. The first time we met, he knocked me down. Accidentally, of course. He’s been a good friend. He found Margaret a little later. They help me protect people; they call me when strange murders happen elsewhere and they need help... or don’t have the time to look into it. They don’t stay here very often. They prefer cities. But…”
“They’re helping you protect me,” I finished for him.
“I can’t be everywhere at once.  And I trust them to do what needs to be done. I trust Beatrice and Han with my life, but they’re pacifists. I hate to ask them to fight.”
“Pacifists? Really?”
“They don’t like violence,” he said.
“I can see why,” I replied.
“Non-violence is good, but sometimes you have to fight…if the cause is a good one,” he said firmly.
“I know,” I said.
He smiled and put his arm around my shoulder. I glanced back at the tree house, wondering how such an unassuming structure could house so much change. As I stared, a strange feeling of familiarity settled into my stomach. It was almost as if I had known the tree house was there all along.
Our thoughts on what we had learned from Susan, we walked back to school – and our very normal literature class – where scary monsters and terrifying demons didn’t exist. Not for real, at least.


Chapter 14


We got back just as lunch was letting out. We merged quietly into the chattering crowd, no one noticing we hadn’t been there all along. Daniel kept his arm around me possessively as the others swarmed around us. It was obvious he was worried about my earlier reaction, worried that I might run off and leave him.
To be honest, I was still considering it. It would solve so many problems. But deep down, I knew that running was the wrong thing to do. Not only would it put me in danger, but it would endanger everyone else I cared about. The only thing that made sense was finding more information…then deciding whether or not running was right.
I thought about the conversation Daniel had stolen from Susan as we walked. As I did, another conversation came to me. I ducked out from under Daniel’s arm as he stopped to buy me a soda from one of the vending machines. I took the soda then grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers together so that we could talk privately.
Impressions of my face and him holding me in a dark room swirled around my brain. The image shifted to us out in the forest, under a starlit sky, the moon very close as we gazed up. I knew it was either a daydream or a vision of the future. Either way, I wasn’t complaining.
Daniel? I asked tentatively.
Yes, Clare?
I was just thinking…
I’m proud for you.
Won’t you get in trouble for protecting me? You said you thought those Seekers were from that guild thingy, and the only reason you were left alone was because you didn’t interfere with them. Won’t they come after you for this?
His hand tightened on mine. We paused under the pretense of letting a girl on crutches walk by.
I don’t care if they do. Even if they sent a whole army, I wouldn’t stop protecting you. Do you understand that? Even if I stood alone against millions, I would keep fighting.
I couldn’t answer right away. The venom and the passion in his voice were shocking. The vision of him standing in front of a legion of demons swirled up. Did he mean that literally? We started walking again and I refocused.
I didn’t think you would actually come with a protection guarantee.
It’s a two-year warranty.
Drat.
Drat? Who says drat anymore?
People… I eyed him more seriously. I would do the same for you, you know. But…I don’t want to get your family in trouble. Margaret said…
Margaret would have to get through me first, he said firmly. He didn’t have to hear the whole sentence to know what Margaret had said. He obviously knew her well.
If you’re alive…I corrected.
I pulled his arm around my shoulders, ending our private conversation. “Can you stay for dinner tonight?” I asked aloud. “I mean…” I made a funny motion with my hands. “You know…if it’s not too boring watching me eat. I know Ellen would love to meet you.”
He kissed my cheek. “How could spending time with you be boring?”
“Was that a rhetorical question?” I asked.
“I believe it was.”
We walked into the classroom then, our conversation ending. I ignored the thoughts and images, which were immediate with our entrance, and took my seat. Even Alex looked at us curiously.
Daniel started tapping on his desk with his pen as the boy in front of him turned around to talk to him. He had his fake charm look on as he talked, but I wasn’t deceived. I wondered how I had ever missed how much effort it took for him to act so normal around the others. That brought up another question. Why did he bother with the charade? With his skills at charm and lying, he could be doing anything he wanted. Why attend high school at King’s Cross? Why attend high school at all? Why come here?
I started playing with my necklace as I thought about this. I knew he and his family liked being close to nature and having privacy to perform experiments – which often blew up – but that didn’t seem like reason enough. There had to be a better explanation.
“Afternoon, everyone!” Mrs. Heart called happily as she bustled into the room, her arms stacked high with her books.
A couple of people mumbled replies, but the majority just kept talking to their neighbors. I sank into my seat when she started talking about a project she was about to assign, tuning back in long enough to hear her pair me with Daniel and loving her for it.
As I stared out the windows, my mind brought up the memory of the female Watcher’s eyes. How was it possible for someone to look and feel that evil? She made those demonic dogs look tame and friendly by comparison. How could any human not be scared of her? How could a human work for her?
Thinking about it, trying to understand even one thing about the memory and my role in it, it took me a while to notice Daniel trying to get my attention. When he saw me look over, he made a face, obviously having had to wait a while for me to notice him.  He stretched out his hand across the short aisle and I took it.
I can’t stay for dinner. Beatrice is going to have an encounter with the Seekers. Nothing serious, but I want to be there just in case.
An encounter? That was vague.
Can I come? My heart was pounding at the thought.
It’ll be worse if you’re there. They’re just trying to get a feel for us. They’ve heard a lot about us from Marcus, and they are realizing that their human helper isn’t getting them the results they want. They’ll try to pretend they are just passing through.
Fine, I huffed.
He gave me an apologetic, unyielding look and turned to the front, where Mrs. Heart was preparing to hand out a pop quiz.
Thinking about the vision I had seen in Daniel’s head, a rash plan formed. If I couldn’t come along on his adventure into danger, maybe I could still have some time with him that was just ours. No reading other people’s thoughts, no worries about the future, or what all the strange things around us meant, just us being two regular people. I wanted normal, even if it was fleeting.
As I handed my paper to Mrs. Heart, I formulated strategies to get him to agree with me.  Daniel watched me suspiciously as I returned to my seat, his green eyes penetrating and alert. They told me he knew I was up to something, and I knew I had better be convincing.

“I don’t see why it’s a big deal,” I said, crossing my arms in preparation for a fight.
Daniel was driving me home after school. I had just suggested my plan to him. I couldn’t tell if he thought it was inappropriate or if he was scared. I didn’t figure him for someone afraid to break the rules…but fear seemed wildly unlike him as well.
“It’s dangerous,” he said.
“It’s not dangerous!” I exclaimed. “It’s the opposite of dangerous! You’d be there!”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
I tried a different tactic. “I know you’re lonely, you told me you were.”
“I was,” Daniel admitted.
“If you came over, you wouldn’t be alone.”
“A person can be in a room full of people and be alone, Clare.”
“Only if those people are invisible…or you’re a poem by Edgar Allan Poe.”
“Was that an outdated reference meant to be obscure, yet alluring?” he asked.
“Just obscure…”
He looked at the shops we were passing in a blur, his face thoughtful as he considered my plan. “I don’t know…”
“Oh, quit being such a girl! If you don’t come over tonight, I’ll just go wandering around in the forest again looking for you. Then those Seekers might get a shot at me and it would be on your head. You wouldn’t want that kind of guilt would you?”
His lips pursed. I couldn’t tell if he was fighting anger or laughter. “I’m pretty sure that’s blackmail.”
“Is it blackmail if I don’t have incriminating evidence to hang over your head?”
“It’s the term I’m applying to this situation,” he said irritably.
“Now, if I said I would expose the fact that you are the son of a fallen angel that would be blackmail.”
“You wouldn’t do that.”
“I think that I’m just shamelessly guilting you into agreeing to something that’s really not that big of a deal.”
“Not a big deal to you, maybe.” He pulled to a stop in front of my house.
“Okay, define big deal, then.”
“I’m…not a good person. I don’t…” His hands twisted the steering wheel in agitated thoughtfulness as he searched for the right words.
I finally caught up to the point he had been making. “Daniel, I’ve seen the worst parts of you. I saw the girl you loved, who hurt you so badly that you probably still think of her every day. I saw the women you were with. I saw the people you killed and the darkness you’ve lived in.” I unbuckled my seat belt. “You spend all your time trying to atone for things in your past, but I’m not going to be a continued source of that punishment. And since you’re not going to let me run away to protect you, you’re stuck with me. ”
He released the steering wheel, sparing it from certain destruction, and stared at me. We shared a moment of wordless communication, then I leaned over and kissed him. What I had meant as a brief goodbye kiss changed as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap. His lips were almost desperate. I caved into the feel of him, my lips just as hungry.
I jumped in surprise when, having gotten into the moment a little too much, I hit my arm on the car horn. I laughed and looked for the curious eyes I knew were on us. I saw the lady next door scowl at us through her kitchen window and laughed harder. My elbow hit the horn again as I tried to crawl out of Daniel’s lap.
He stopped me. “I didn’t realize how much of the…unsavory things you saw.”
“I’m sure you saw some things about me I’d rather you didn’t.” I climbed back into my seat and grabbed my bag off the floor. “I’ll see you around…eleven?” I paused. “You can sneak in without Ellen hearing you, right?”
“I could sneak in, steal all your furniture, even the bed you were sleeping on, and you’d never know the difference…until you awoke, at least.”
“Which is why I’m glad you’re on my side.” I bit my lip as I thought about what he was going to do. “Be careful…you know, later.”
“Careful is my middle name,” he said doing his best James Bond impression.
“Seriously.”
“I promise to be careful,” he said brushing back a strand of hair from my face.
Accepting his word, I got out. He waited for me to open the front door before he drove away. I watched him go, noticing that he kept his eyes on the rearview mirror the whole way. When he was gone, I dropped my bag by the door, feeling sad that he didn’t know how much goodness he had inside, and went into the kitchen to make a casserole.
I had almost finished my homework and taken the casserole out to cool when Ellen came home. She slammed the door behind her as way of a hello. I froze as her thoughts, practically a battering ram, assaulted me. I didn’t get much time to absorb them before she appeared in the kitchen door. “You were unconscious! Did you even go out to dinner last night? What happened in the woods? You tell me right this minute or I’m…I’m…I’m…”
“Going to ground me and not sign the slip to get me out of dissecting the pig in biology next year?” I supplied.
“Yes!”
“I just didn’t want you to worry.”
She crossed to the table and gripped the back of a chair.
“We don’t have secrets, Clare. Well…we have secrets, but we’ve always told each other the important things. This feels wrong.”
“I didn’t want to worry you,” I repeated more forcefully.
“I worry about you all the time, sweetie. One more thing on the pile isn’t going to change that. Besides, we’re a team. Mighty Mouse and Wonder Woman. We work together.”
I took a deep breath, smiling a little at the nicknames we had given each other. “Are you sure you want to know?”
Her eyes glinted with determination. “Yes.”
I told her the things I had been keeping from her. As I finished, she sat down in the chair with a dazed look, a hand on her chest. “I don’t think I want to know anymore,” she said. “Can I have a take-back?”
I sighed and patted the hand gripping the table. “There’s no take-back on the truth. How did you know about it anyway?”
“Sam. One of the hunters who was helping look for Susan came in this morning for some paperwork on a claim he’s filing – a faulty rifle took off a toe last month. He and Sam were talking, and I overheard. Sam said it’s all over town that you were unconscious and that Daniel and his friend whisked you away after you saved Susan.” Then he asked me out to dinner, a real dinner in town this Friday, but I don’t know if I should tell her that.
“You just did,” I said getting up to serve the casserole.
“Oh. Right.” She kicked off her heels and pulled down her elegant bun.  “You don’t mind do you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“But the other thing…” She bit her lip. I heard her running through our options, wondering if we should leave.
I kept my face towards the window as I spoke. “Our running hasn’t done any good. They’ve been following us for two years. Two years! I think if we pack up again they’ll just follow us, and we won’t have the Adamses around to look out for us.”
“You mean we won’t have Daniel,” she said pointedly.
“No, I mean the entire family. Beatrice and Han have been following you to make sure that nothing happens.”
She blushed and I saw some potentially embarrassing conversations she’d had with Sam. “I’m not sure if I like that.”
“Like it or not, it’s going to stay that way until we get rid of the Seekers. I won’t risk you getting hurt.”
She laughed and I heard her stand. She crossed the kitchen and I felt her arms wrap around my waist. We stared out the window for a brief moment. “You’re too good for me,” she whispered in my ear.
“Nah.”
She laughed again and kissed my cheek. “I’m going to go change.”
“Kay.”
Ellen climbed the stairs and, with a lazy slam of the door, went into the bathroom. Just as she shut the door, I heard the front door open. Pausing on my way to the kitchen table with my plate of food, I listened, but couldn’t hear any thoughts. That could only mean one thing – the Seekers had come here after all. Why hadn’t Daniel foreseen this? That was sort of a big thing to miss. Was someone watching the house now? Did I have help?
The door closed and I glanced around for a weapon. I spotted my Algebra book and picked it up. I backed toward the door that led into the backyard wanting to lead whoever it was away from Ellen. At the very least, I could give her a chance to get away. Or, hopefully, lead whoever it was to one of my new friends.
I hoisted the book to attack, my heart pounding in my throat, then I heard the familiar thoughts of Alex trailing down the hallway like a soft breeze. Relieved, I quickly set the book down, so she wouldn’t see I had been about to kill her with math. She would never forgive me for that. I hurried to sit down to my food, breathing heavier than normal.
I hadn’t realized until Daniel had left that I was on edge, coiled like a spring and ready to either attack or run. Susan’s memory was obviously more embedded in my thoughts than I had realized. It made all the fear I carried around anyways ten times as noticeable.
I took a deep breath as she appeared around the corner. “Hey…do you want some food? We have plenty.”
“I’m worried,” she said, skipping the usual pleasantries as she sat.
“What about?”
“Ever since our talk about Amanda, I’ve been trying to talk to her, or just say hi, but she hasn’t been at school.”
“Since the accident at the pool?” I asked, remembering the thoughts Amanda had about wishing she had been in the fire. My stomach sank.
“Yeah.” Alex’s eyes were distant. “I have a bad feeling. I know how her dad can be. What if he got mad about something and she needs help?’
“What happened to ‘people around here don’t butt into other people’s problems’?” I mocked.
I already knew I would do whatever it took to make sure Amanda was okay regardless of what was typical around here. I hated that she thought so little of herself. I could understand her feelings of inadequacy – I had spent most of my school years being ostracized and shunned from the crowd – but Amanda seemed to take it further. It was as if she was punishing herself for not fitting in with people like Jennifer, not realizing, of course, that she wasn’t less because she didn’t fit in. She was simply different.
“Within reason,” Alex said. “People care. I care.”
“What can we do?” I asked, pushing my food aside.
“About what?” Ellen asked walking into the kitchen. She was in lounging clothes, and her face was clear of makeup. It was my favorite Ellen look. “Hi, Alex,” she said cheerfully, even though her thoughts were filled with worry that Alex would have a problem with Sam asking her out.
“Hi. We were talking about Amanda Nichols, a girl at school. We’re worried about her. She hasn’t shown up since Monday. Things are kind of rough for her…everywhere really. The kids at school make fun of her because her dad is different, and her mom…” Alex trailed off. “Her dad gives her a hard time because he doesn’t really like much.”
“You’re talking about Gavin Nichols’s kid?” Ellen asked as she filled her plate with casserole.
“Yeah. Do ya know him?”
Ellen plopped into a chair across from me. She nodded as she opened her soda. “Well, I know of him. He was out of high school by the time I was a freshman, but I heard what happened to him with his wife, and I knew his sister, Colleen.” Ellen grinned wickedly. “She was a lot of fun at parties.”
“I think we should go check on Amanda,” Alex said, returning to my question. “I got her homework from the front office this afternoon, so I have an excuse…”
“Nice,” I grinned. “Just let me finish eating and we’ll go.”
Ellen began shoveling food into her mouth. “I’m going, too. I don’t want you dealing with that man by yourselves…”  She paused and looked at me. Not with everyone looking for you. “That way I know I’m not being lied to.”
“She didn’t tell you about her forest adventure either, huh?” Alex asked.
“Not about the part where she was unconscious,” Ellen said giving me a fierce look.
“I saved someone’s life! Doesn’t that mean anything? Don’t I get a pass or something?”
“Of course it means something,” Ellen replied, “but that doesn’t make it any less dangerous. If anything, the fact you had to save her life from tho… whatever has been attacking people makes it even more dangerous.”
I stood and scraped off my food into the trashcan and put the dish in the sink to wash later.
“Well, it won’t happen again. I’ve been yelled at by three people now. I know when I’m beat.”
“You could be beaten, and would still get back up for more, you’re so stubborn,” Ellen said dumping the remainder of her food into the trash can – having eaten the fastest dinner in recorded history.
“Yeah…I wonder where I get that from?” I asked her.
She made a face while running out of the room. “I’ll be right back!”
“Daniel sure was eager to show that you two are together today,” Alex said conversationally as soon as Ellen was gone. If there was one thing about my friend I had realized after a month, it was that she was persistent. To a fault.
“Was he? I didn’t notice.”
I kept my face expressionless, knowing she was trying to get a reaction. For some reason, Alex loved getting reactions out of me.
She started laughing, my expression giving me away regardless. “It’s all over the school, Clare. He kissed you in gym, and now you guys have detention on Friday. And the way he was all over you at lunch…” She made groping motions with her hands.
“Huh. I didn’t hear that rumor. Did we really get detention?” I gave her an innocent look.
“Don’t play coy with me...what happened? How’d you two realize you were crazy-bad in-like with each other? Details woman, I want details.”
There was so much to tell, and it had all happened so quickly. I’d only had two days to process a lot. I wasn’t sure if I really had a handle on it yet. But, despite the fact there had been plenty of fear and crazy occurrences, my moments with Daniel had made everything else fade into the background. It was as though I knew the fear, the danger, were just momentary blips in a life that was meant to be spent with him.
It was enough to make me want to talk about it; the emotions bubbled over and out of me, uncontainable and uncontrollable. I told Alex what I could, my story tempered by the things I couldn’t say without giving away my secret. She listened in rapt attention. Ellen came back down as I finished, and we left to go to Amanda’s house. Ellen didn’t have to ask to know what we were talking about.
“I think it’s nice,” Alex said as we walked to her Jeep. “I’ve always thought Daniel was trying too hard to be happy. Like he thought if he pretended hard enough, happiness would come. Now, he doesn’t have to pretend.”
“Relationships go bad,” I pointed out.
“Cynic. Stop acting like it’s no big deal. You know it is.”
She floored the gas pedal, cutting off my snarky reply. I heard Ellen squeak from the sudden movement. I held on to the door with a strong grip, prepared for Alex’s driving.
We rode to Amanda’s in silence. Alex’s thoughts went back to Amanda, and Ellen’s went back to the Seekers hunting us. I thought about both. Was there an answer to either? How does one realistically stop people who are serious about hunting you? How do you convince a teenager it is okay to be different? Both questions were out of my league.
When Alex finally jerked the car to a stop, my stomach slowly filled with knots at what was in front of me. We were at Amanda’s house, though ‘house’ wasn’t really the proper term. It was more like a cabin. A cabin so old and dilapidated – it was made of chinked wood and mud – it looked ready to fall down at any moment. I tilted my head and realized the structure slanted slightly to the left.
The dirt yard was deserted and bare of any kind of ornamentation or furniture. Where there should have been grass, there were rusted pieces of metal and junk covered in thick, dead vines. Three other houses bordered the small property and, while they weren’t mansions by any stretch of the imagination, the cabin made them look like Daniel’s house in comparison. Smoke curled halfheartedly out of the old stone chimney, misting the yard in a thin haze. A group of dogs tied to metal stakes near the edge of the property, got up and started barking as we stopped. A couple strained against the stakes, choking themselves in their attempt to reach us.
As I unbuckled my seatbelt, I saw a curtain in the cabin twitch. There was a moment of quiet doubt, then the door opened slightly. Amanda peeked out at us, her thoughts ghosting across the yard as much as the smoky haze. She looked scared, as if she thought we were there to kill her, or worse. I waved, to assure her we came in peace, and she stepped out, shutting the door with a click. Alex grabbed some papers from her bag and followed me, looking around sadly. Ellen stayed in the car, looking at the house, but not wanting to get involved unless Gavin Nichols did.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.” Amanda turned her head to listen for sounds of her dad moving inside. I heard her worrying about her father overhearing. He was in the living room passed out. He had been on a bender since early in the day. As she looked back, I saw a faint blue color that was obviously the result of a hit on the face highlighting the bones of her cheek.
The instant I saw her face, I wanted to go inside and hit Mr. Nichols in retribution. I controlled the impulse however, figuring that wouldn’t help our reason for being here.
“What are you guys doing here?” Amanda asked.
“Alex brought your homework from school,” I replied. “And I came along because I wanted to ask you if you’d be interested in coming to the movies with us this Friday.”
Alex threw me a warning look, but I ignored her. Amanda could still say no. I wanted her to know that I wanted her there. That somebody cared. It was important; more important than my desire to go inside and teach her dad a lesson.
Why would she do that? I’ve only talked to her a couple of times since she came here, and I’m sure I just said something stupid each time. This has to be a trap. “I don’t know…” Amanda said.
I took a step forward. “Look, Amanda, I think you’re really cool. We think you’re really cool,” I gestured at Alex, “and we would like to get to know you better. But if you don’t want to come, that’s fine. I just thought it would be a good opportunity for us to hang out.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said uncertainly, her voice barely a whisper.
Alex handed Amanda the papers. “But you’re okay, right?” she asked. “You haven’t got strep throat or the measles or anything?”
“Oh! No. I think it’s just a cold or something.” She sniffed unconvincingly, her eyes glancing at the door again. Daddy is going to be so mad if he wakes up. I wish the dogs would shut up! …I still don’t get why he said I couldn’t go to school. I’m going to get so behind! It was really nice of them to bring my work…but how will I get it back to my teachers? Amanda played with the papers nervously. “Thanks for bringing these.”
“No problem.” Alex smiled at her.
“Amanda! Shutthadogsup!” a drunken, slurred voice called from inside. Amanda jumped as if she’d been whipped. “Amanda! Dicha-hear-me! Shut-those-dogs-up!”
“I hear you!” she called back looking at us nervously. She added, “I’m about to feed them.”
“Damn straight! Then-you-best-fix-me-dinner!”
Amanda blushed from the roots of her hair to her fingertips. I felt a burning anger and my fists clenched. When Amanda had jumped, I had gotten an image of a man hitting her for burning dinner, a slap across the face for coming home late, a hit for questioning him about staying home from school…other occurrences. It was a stronger rage than the initial one I had bested. How badly I wanted to teach him a lesson!
Controlling my rage, I stepped closer to Amanda and took a pen out of Daniel’s jacket.  Taking one of the papers from her hand, I wrote my number on it, using my leg as a table. “If you need anything…or you make up your mind about the movies, call me. Whatever you need. It doesn’t matter what.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Oh…she’s making me into a charity case. That’s all I need...
“Amanda!” the voice yelled again.
“We should go,” Alex said nervously. “Will you be in school tomorrow?”
Amanda hesitated. “I don’t know. I’m still feeling a bit under the weather.”
“Well, when you get back, you can show me how to do that problem you solved the other day in Calculus. I still can’t get my head around it,” Alex said.
“Sure.” Amanda said, blushing and lowering her head, ashamed to feel proud of herself. “Well, I’d…” She gestured vaguely towards the dogs.
“Bye,” I said.
“Bye.”
Amanda watched us leave, her thoughts filled with burning questions and dark skepticism. As we drove away, my stomach settled into a curious knot of foreboding.


Chapter 15


“Can you believe that man?!” Alex’s normally happy eyes were fierce with anger.
“If it weren’t against the law, I’d go back there and teach him a lesson,” I said, trembling with my anger.
“Who cares about the law?!” Alex said angrily.
“Your father might,” Ellen replied quietly from the backseat. I could tell she was also upset by the encounter, though she was trying to hide it for our sakes, to keep us calm.
“He’s biased,” Alex hissed. “Did you hear the way Amanda’s father talked to her? I mean that voice! It was just so…evil!”
I froze.
“And the way he treats those dogs! I bet he doesn’t treat Amanda any better!” Alex raged on. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the steering wheel. “I oughta hit him until he cries, that evil, evil man!”
“What’s the matter, Clare?” Ellen asked, noticing my tense frame.
“His voice was familiar, that’s all. It was like I’ve heard it before.” I put particular emphasis on the last words.
She frowned, thinking about my words.
“Maybe you heard it in town?” Alex suggested, giving us a funny look. “He preaches on the corner every Saturday.”
“No,” I said staring at Ellen. “More like at school…and out in the woods.”
Ellen’s eyes widened as what I was saying registered. You mean out in the woods with those scary people you told me about? He was the evil man? She was trying hard not to freak out, but I could see her fear.
“In the woods?” Alex asked, totally confused.
I faced the front and focused on the road. “I could be wrong.”
Alex glanced at Ellen in the rearview mirror and muttered, “Uh-huh.”
We were all silent then – figuratively speaking. Alex’s anger at what we had witnessed, and her confusion at my reaction, pounded through my brain. Ellen was trying to think about other things, so she wouldn’t worry me with her worry. Sam’s face kept popping into my brain, making it difficult to concentrate on what I had just learned. I scowled at her and she slowly blushed. The images of Sam faded as she started repeating nursery rhymes.
I thought about the man’s voice again. While it had been slurred from the alcohol, the quality had been the same. The way the voice had made the hair on my arms stand on end and the irrational fear and anger were the same. There was no mistaking it.
I had to tell Daniel or someone from his family. Was someone following us? Daniel said they were keeping an eye on us; maybe, they had heard the voice as well. But had they connected it to the man in the forest? Had they even shared the memory?  I picked up my necklace and looked out at the trees flashing past.
Poor Amanda! Her father had caused Ryan Holt’s death, and I knew he wanted me dead. What would he do to his own child? A child, I bet, who reminded him of the wife who had left him. A child he resented.
“I have to go home and finish my homework or else I’d come in,” Alex said into the silence.
I looked up and blinked, startled to see we were home. Her thoughts were less angry now as compassion and helplessness for Amanda’s situation swirled around in her brain. She had arrived at the same compassion I felt, though she wasn’t aware of the true extent of his evil.
I unbuckled my seatbelt. “Thanks for driving us.”
“Thanks for coming with me,” she replied.
I got out and waited for Ellen. Ellen stared at Alex’s reflection, hesitating. “You don’t mind that your dad asked me out to dinner this Friday, do you?” Ellen blurted out finally.
Alex started laughing at the question and the expression on Ellen’s face. It was so fretfully worried it was difficult not to laugh. It relieved some of the tension we had all been feeling. “No, I don’t mind. Who do you think has been suggesting he ask you out before some other guy got the idea?” Alex paused realizing how that sounded. “I mean, he’s been really nervous about it. He thinks the world of you, and I know he hasn’t really dated anyone since…” She bit her lip. “He just doesn’t want to mess anything up.”
Well, that makes two of us. Ellen smiled and crawled out of the backseat. “Thanks.”
“Sure.”
We waved and watched Alex barrel off down the street like a bat out of hell.
As soon as she was gone, all the bad feelings fell down on me like Dorothy’s house had fallen into Oz. Knowing who the human was the others were using to gather information and track me didn’t make me feel better. It made me feel worse. I knew Amanda, I felt sorry for her; I empathized with her. Now, I had found out her dad wanted me dead. I shivered.
Ellen wrapped her arm around my waist. “Your friends might have some answers to what we learned. They might know how to deal with this.”
‘Deal’ sounded rather ominous, even coming from her. There was no escaping what she meant.
My voice was fierce when I answered. “I don’t want Amanda’s dad to get hurt. I don’t want him near me, but I don’t want him hurt.”
“Why?”
I hesitated. I saw how much Daniel punished himself. It was a constant thing. He had half hoped I would leave when I had learned about the others tracking me, so he could continue his self-inflicted punishment. It was why he was so afraid. But, I would protect him from killing. There had to be a solution to this…somewhere.  If I could just understand why they were tracking me and why they were so interested in studying me, then I could understand how to protect Daniel. There had to be another way beyond killing Mr. Nichols and fighting with the Seekers. There had to be…I just wasn’t seeing it.
Ellen was waiting for me to answer her. Somehow, we had gotten inside and up the stairs. “What was the question again?” I asked.
“Never mind,” Ellen said. “I think I know the answer.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’m going to go upstairs and pretend I don’t have a target painted on my back.”
“I guess I’ll see you in the morning, then.” Ellen knew that when I retreated to my lair it meant I was in for some heavy thinking and I wouldn’t surface until I’d found some answers. Before, my lairs had always consisted of deserted places tucked away in buildings no one ever bothered with, but now I had a place that was my very own. And it wasn’t trespassing.
“Kay,” I said.
She smiled at me and went into her bedroom, thinking she would run a bath and read a book. It calmed her when she was worried. I didn’t need to tell her that a bath would do little to calm what we had to worry about.
I crossed the hall and shut my door, treading heavily up the dark, wooden stairs and wondering how much more of this tension I could take. I felt like I had no control. I felt that, despite what I was learning about my life, and my role in this world I had come to accept, nothing made any sense. Everything felt flipped on its side.
I stood in the middle of my room for a moment trying to decide what to do about my tension. If I sat up here and dwelled on what I had just learned, I would get angry. If I got angry, I might be tempted to do something stupid. Or I would be a complete nervous wreck when Daniel arrived, which wouldn’t make our time together fun. I needed some peace and that meant…the usual.
I went to my window seat and started digging through the books I had stacked around it. From the outside, the books looked like a moat defending the window seat from trespassers. I shifted the last book, but what I was after wasn’t there. I dug around on the seat and was rewarded when my fingers hit something plastic. I pulled my music player out with a triumphant grunt, feeling happy I hadn’t broken it like I had the last one. I selected the song I wanted and instantly felt myself relax.
Singing with the music, I took Daniel’s jacket off and changed into a t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. Once I was comfortable, I picked Daniel’s jacket back up and went over to my bed to wait. I had a long evening and night to get through, but I had music, and Daniel’s jacket, and a feeling of expectation to keep me company. I hoped it would be enough to keep the bad thoughts and the fear away. Maybe, this time, time would cooperate with me.

Hands lightly brushed against my hair and removed the ear buds from my ears. I woke with a start, wondering what had happened and why it was dark outside. I pushed the hands away in panic, Mr. Nichols’s voice rushing into my head. His voice had been in my dreams, haunting me through endless corridors of darkness – the sort of darkness that was a direct result of murder and fear.
“Shhhh!” Daniel whispered. “Your mom is still up reading.”
I put a hand to my chest and took a deep breath. He had come. A part of me had doubted he would. I looked around the dark room. “I must have fallen asleep.”
“Really?” He smiled. “I thought you were snoring for another reason.”
I sat up. “I don’t snore,” I said halfheartedly, knowing I did.
“Sure, you don’t…And horses are green.”
“Hey, man, I’ve seen The Wizard of Oz like ten times. I’m pretty sure those horses were green.”
He chuckled quietly and sat down next to me. “I’ve never seen anyone as happily unconscious as you just were, especially when listening to music that loud. It was kind of hysterical.”
I made a face as I shifted to give him more room. “Music helps me relax. The louder the better.”
“You were listening to one of my favorite songs,” he admitted.
“You like Eric Clapton?”
“Yep.”
His eyes left mine and looked around the room. We were silent for a moment, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. It was the kind of silence I had come to expect when I was around him – peaceful and familiar.
Then, Daniel tensed and his mood shifted. When he spoke, he sounded worried and a little angry, “Jackson said you went to Amanda’s house this afternoon.”
“I did,” I said.
“I thought we agreed: no more dangerous stunts.”
“No, we agreed I wouldn’t go in the woods. Besides, it wasn’t dangerous. Ellen and Alex were with me.”
“Do you realize how little that means? Do you have any idea how easily I could kill them, kill you? Those Seekers were out there distracting Beatrice and me. What if they have more allies? Seekers or humans we can’t see? They could have overpowered Jackson and taken you right then and there. We’re not your typical human, but we do miss things. We have limits.”
“Yeah, well…” What could I say to that? “I can’t live my life in a box. I had to be sure Amanda was okay. You should know that I won’t let injustice stand, even if it means my personal safety. And, at least we discovered who is working for them.”
“Maybe.” Daniel shook his head. Even in the dim light, I saw how upset he was. “It’s just…Something doesn’t feel right. He might be working for them, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like…like…there’s something else.” Daniel’s frustration spilled out as he hit the edge of the bed. “And I’m missing it. I wish I could see everything! This stupid gift doesn’t feel like one…”
It was comforting to know that he got frustrated with his ‘gifts.’ I reached out to caress the side of his face. “You’re not perfect,” I said. He snorted in agreement. “I didn’t mean it like that! Despite being an angel, you’re still human. We’re not made to catch everything, see everything, we’re just made to do the best we can with the tools we’ve been given. We’ll figure this thing out, not because we’re half angel, but because we’re half human, and our human half knows that when we miss something, or mess up, we get right back up and try again.”
He looked at me and touched the hand that was caressing his face. “For a tough-talking girl, you sure can be inspiring.”
“People are never just one thing,” I said loftily.
His lips lifted into a boyish smile. “No, they’re not.”
He took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. His face became serious, and I knew something else was bothering him beside my ‘dangerous stunt.’ He was blocking me from his thoughts, so I didn’t know what. “Clare, why did you really ask me here?”
“What ever do you mean?”
“Don’t start that,” he said wearily.
“I’m not trying to seduce you, if that’s what you think,” I said indignantly. “I just want you near.  It’s hard for me now. It’s hard to be separated from you. When you’re not around, I feel like something is missing…I feel lonelier than I’ve ever felt before.” I frowned at the words, which sounded so unlike me. “You have no idea how hard that was for me to say.”
“I might,” he said. “You like me then, huh?”
“A little bit. When you’re not being such a superior, pretentious assh…”
He put a finger on my lips, to stop my insult. “I love you.”
I felt my stomach drop. The way he said it was so unlike him. There was fear and uncertainty. It had taken a lot for him to admit it. I could see it. Daniel’s eyes told me I didn’t have to say it back; he knew how hard the admission was. But I wanted to. It would be lying not to say it.
“I love you back,” I whispered.
He grinned. “I’m glad.”
Feeling slightly overwhelmed, I leaned against the headboard, turning my face away for him.  He moved next to me without a sound. I curled my knees to my chest and started playing with my necklace again. “I have a question,” I said trying to cover my awkwardness at admitting how much I really depended on him.
“When don’t you have a question?”
“When I have answers. You said you could sneak in here and no one would ever know.”
“Right.”
I peeked over at him and saw confusion. He didn’t get what I was aiming at.
“Have you? Snuck in here, I mean?”
I waited. When he didn’t answer, I peeked over at him. His face was indignant. “I would never sneak in here without your explicit permission. It’s ungentlemanly. Besides, what would I do? Stand over you as you slept; creepily watch you from a hole in the wall? That would feel too much like that movie…”
“Psycho?” I offered.
“Exactly!”
We started laughing.
“You definitely have permission, provided you stay away from rocking chairs,” I told him.
“Done.” He wrapped his arm around me, and I snuggled in close.
“What…” I hesitated, not wanting to ruin the moment but needing to ask. “What are we going to do about Amanda’s dad?”
He took a deep breath and his expression hardened. “Tomorrow, I am going to go have a talk with him.”
“I’m coming.”
“Absolutely not!”
“Fine.”
He looked at me, incredulous. “You’re giving up just like that?”
“Nope,” I said calmly.
“What does that mean?” He was fighting a smile.
“I’ll just find another way to tag along. I know where he lives, remember?”
“I could tie you up!” he threatened.
“That’s just not a polite thing to say to a lady, Daniel, and even that wouldn’t stop me.”
“You are the most stubborn person I have ever met. You know that, right?” he asked irritably.
“How on earth could I possibly know that?” I retorted.
“Point made.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m coming along.”
“Is it so wrong that I don’t want you to get hurt?” he asked.
“No, but if we are going to be a team, like you said we are, we actually have to act like a team. That means dealing with dangerous things together and being completely honest with one another about those things.”
He was silent as he thought about my words. Finally, he said, “You’re right. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if I try to smother you, even to protect you, you’ll just push me away.”
“So…tomorrow?”
He nodded. “After school. I’m bringing Jackson and Margaret.”
“The more the merrier when you’re checking up on homicidal maniacs.”
He chuckled darkly. “I have a question,” he said.
“Is it a life threatening, ‘angels are out to get you,’ kind of question? Because I’m hanging those up tonight.”
“No. I was wondering what you wanted to do for our project in literature.”
I made a face. “I don’t know. Whatever you want to do. I’m not thrilled with the topic she gave us, so it doesn’t really matter…”
“You don’t like Romeo and Juliet?”
“I don’t think I could hate a play more.”
“Why?” he demanded.
I answered without thinking. “I just hate the hype that surrounds the story. Everyone gets all moony-eyed about two people who, in my opinion, didn’t really know each other that well. And once they knew their love was forbidden, they got all dramatic. As soon as you forbid people things, especially kids, they find a way to do exactly what you don’t want them to do. It’s human nature. I’ve done it. I still do it.” Daniel made a funny sound of agreement. I ignored him. “Their drama felt ridiculous, though. I think the strongest thing a person can do is live on after the person they truly love is dead. The strongest thing anyone can do is to live past that heartbreak and endure. If you can do that, you honor the memory of the person you loved. You honor their life. Plus…suicide? I’d rather go out fighting for a cause. Fighting for the person I loved.”
Daniel’s eyes were wide. “I think if I live a million years I will never be able to predict the things you say.”
“I hope you don’t,” I said smugly.
“I think you may be overthinking the play. Shakespeare was just trying to prove that love is worth dying for. The length of time they knew each other doesn’t matter.”
“I suppose so,” I replied. “I just prefer scary stories. Poe or Stephen King. They have morals to their lessons, but are less preachy about it.”
“You just like to be scared,” he said.
“That too.”
“Freak,” he teased.
“Most days,” I agreed.
“I don’t think you’ve ever really seen scary.” He paused then added, “Not the real kind.” He was talking about the other Watchers and the deaths and murders he had witnessed and taken part in.
“Your face is scary enough,” I joked.
I knew reality was scary. I knew plenty.
Daniel rolled over so his body pinned mine and looked into my eyes. “Really? So, you don’t want me to kiss you then?”
“Absolutely not.”
He kissed me anyway. I didn’t want him to stop, but he did. He rested his forehead on mine for a moment. His body trembled almost as much as mine he rolled away and we both stared at the ceiling. There was another moment of silence then, less peaceful silence. Why was he so scared of kissing me like that?
To break that tension-filled silence, I asked the first question that popped into my head. It was a question I had been curious about for a month.
“Daniel?”
“Mhhh?”
“Why did you run down that street naked…you know, that time when the nuns saw you?”
He grinned sheepishly. “I lost a bet to Jackson.”
“Oh…What was the bet?”
“You know…I don’t even remember.”
For some reason, I found this hilarious. I started laughing at him. When he shushed me, to keep Ellen from hearing us, I started laughing harder. The more exasperated his face got, the harder I laughed. Giving up, he started laughing as well, the bed creaking with our poorly concealed chuckles. We kept shushing each other, and each time we did, we laughed even harder.
Our laughter led to other stories of his past, other funny moments, and I felt my fears relax. There would be time enough to worry later. The world stopped as our laughter and our stories became the only real thing in the world.


Chapter 16


“I don’t like this. I don’t like this one bit,” I said pacing in nervous agitation in front of the cabin.
“Will someone please shut her up?” Margaret said from where she was lounging lazily on the back of her black motorcycle.
I stopped pacing and glared at her, not caring how dangerous that was. “Sorry for having emotions. I forgot…you don’t like them.”
She looked away from the woods and stared me down. As our glares met, her irises turned completely black. It was like seeing the wild woman from my shared memory. It was enough to send a shiver down my spine. The air around us hissed and crackled with electricity. All the hairs on my arm and neck rose at the feeling in the air.
“Margaret.” Jackson chided her. He didn’t seem worried or upset, just bored as he leaned against Daniel’s black Audi.
At the sound of his voice, Margaret’s eyes cleared, and she went back to staring at the woods, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. I started pacing again, too worked up to be worried about what could have happened.
Jackson moved so he was blocking me. “I’d be a little careful about making Margaret angry.”
“I know that anger is bad for us. We lose control. Daniel told me. It’s just…”
Jackson cut me off. “It’s a little more than that.” Even though his face was serious, his voice was laced with laughter, which made it hard to take him seriously. The next words he spoke, though, I took very seriously. “The last person she got really mad at was hit by a lightning bolt on a perfectly clear day.” His hands enacted someone blowing up. I felt my eyes widen. “Didn’t Daniel tell you what her particular gift is?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“She can control the weather.”
I remembered Daniel mentioning talking to a person who controlled weather. It was the first day we worked on cars together. I also remembered the way Margaret’s thoughts had reminded me of a storm raging out of control. Suddenly, it made sense.
“What can the others do?” I asked as I looked around the dilapidated cabin we were waiting in front of. Daniel had promised to be right back, but that was ten minutes ago. I was definitely in need of a distraction.
“Well, Daniel can see the future. He can’t see it all the time, which is kind of annoying, and he can only see a couple of minutes into the future with any certainty.”  I rolled my eyes. Jackson knew I knew what Daniel could do. “Beatrice can control people. She can get a whole army to waddle like a duck or kill each other, though she doesn’t like to do that. It works best on humans, because they don’t know how to block us out. Han can control energy. He has to have an energy source like a fire or a generator, but he can take that energy and do really cool things. He can cause power surges or kill people with pure energy overload.”
I shivered, realizing how often Jackson came back to killing people. Watchers really were geared towards murder and mayhem. I wondered what my talent would be. Would my power be just as destructive? It seemed inevitable it would be.
“What about you?” I asked.
“I never get mad.”
“Ever?” I asked.
“Not enough to lose control like the others.”
“So, you never have to worry about turning?” I asked.
Jackson shook his head and glanced at Margaret. He didn’t have to worry about turning, but I knew he worried about her. It was obvious she was a lot to worry about as far as that was concerned.
“He warned us to back off.” Daniel said as walked out of the woods with his hands tucked in his pockets.
I breathed a sigh of relief. When we had arrived at Amanda’s house after school, we had found it deserted. Even the dogs were gone. Once we’d arrived, Daniel had gotten a vision of the brown-haired Seeker coming to intercept us. He had left to meet him, aware that it would be better for everyone if the Seeker didn’t see me.
Daniel smiled at my sigh, but he was preoccupied with the news he had brought. “He said, and I quote, ‘Back off and we will spare your family. We respect your strength, but if you do not back away from our mission, you will force our hand. You have been warned.’ Then he left.” Daniel’s jaw tightened. A vein throbbed in his temple.
“Sounds rather old-fashioned,” Jackson said. “‘You have been warned!’ What a jackass.”
I ignored Jackson. “He didn’t say anything about what their mission was?”
“No. But, I definitely think something has changed. They’re not trying subterfuge anymore.”
“They must really want you,” Jackson said to me.
“Or they have something else planned. Something I can’t see.” Daniel said.
“What?” Jackson, Margaret and I asked in unison.
Daniel’s mouth twitched with a smile at our demanding tone. “I keep getting blocked from seeing what they have planned. It’s like the plan is somehow…” he gestured with his hands looking for the word, “malleable.”
“A plan is malleable?” I was skeptical.
“Good point. It’s probably the person orchestrating all this.”
“The blonde woman…Cassandra?”
Daniel lifted one shoulder. “I can’t tell.”
“Why can’t we just kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out?” Jackson asked.
“Because we need answers,” Daniel said.
“I think it’s a good solution,” Jackson replied. “We know they’re a threat. And it’s not just because of Clare anymore. The others have been hungering for a while now to get us out of the picture. We scare them. Maybe, this is an attempt to do that and they’re using Clare as an excuse.”
“Not to make this all about me, but I don’t think so,” I said. “There’s something about me they want. Something I have. Maybe, it’s tied into the time when Ellen was attacked. They took her…my blood when she was pregnant with me.”  Everyone looked at me in shock, but I ignored them. “Or maybe it’s tied to this!” I said as I picked up my necklace. “The way it acted around that demon…it could be a weapon!”
Daniel shook his head.  “That doesn’t make sense. We don’t need the aid of a weapon.” He held up his hands. “These are dangerous enough.”
He shook his head again in frustration and started pacing. He clasped his hands behind his back as he paced, and he walked the length of the cabin several times. With his serious expression and purposeful walk, he looked very much like an old scholar trying to solve a physics problem. All that was missing was the pipe and tweed jacket.
“What are you thinking Danny?” Jackson asked.
“I think Clare’s ability to read minds has something to do with all this. If someone looks too hard to capture, or kill, they don’t get this excited. And they certainly don’t study one two years before the change. The longest I’ve known them to track a young one was three months. Remember the girl in Jersey? She had already changed too…It has to be connected somehow.”
What they were discussing was serious, but I couldn’t help but ogle Daniel a little bit. He was radiating such an aura of command. He looked completely different from the boy I had encountered on my first day here.  The dark brooding face I had come to love wasn’t any different, but I felt the shields he had kept up for so long that he wasn’t even aware of them anymore were gradually sliding away. This was Daniel without the filter. The power, the grace, and the intensity were almost frightening. But, I knew humor was just as large a part of his personality. He loved to laugh. There were so many sides to him – sides I wanted to know better. Refocusing, I slid back into the conversation.
“How does the attack on her mother relate to now?” Margaret asked.
“It could be the same people,” I said. “Ellen said my father scared them off before they could do anything else….then he left us.”
Margaret spoke to Daniel as if he had been the one talking. “But, what could be so important about her blood? And why didn’t they follow her sooner? With her father gone, they would have an easy time of it.”
“If I had those answers, I wouldn’t be standing here asking you,” Daniel growled in frustration.
“It’s not my fault you picked one with so much baggage,” Margaret said, her voice rising a little.
“No, you’ve made your opinion very clear about how you think I should run my life,” Daniel snapped back. “Sorry, but some of us can’t live like humanity doesn’t exist.”
“I’ve protected just as many humans as you have!” she said.
“Yeah, and how many more have you killed?”
I stepped between them before the darkness I saw in their eyes could spread to a fight. I couldn’t imagine how horrible it had to be to worry about a silly argument getting out of control, but I saw how close both of them were to losing control. I knew Daniel would never forgive himself if they fought and he hurt her.
“We’re getting off point here,” I said, holding up my hands for peace. “Fighting each other isn’t solving our problems. It’s just wasting time we really don’t have.”
Margaret’s eyes went to rake the ground, annoyed I was right. Jackson eyed me differently, something impressing him. Perhaps, it was the fact that I had stepped between two angry Watchers…or maybe, he liked my shoes. It was hard to tell with him.
Daniel looked at me in apology. “Sorry…I’m just trying to understand. Why your mom? Why you?”
“Does there have to be a point?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe, they think I have something. Maybe, they think I’m different. Maybe, they don’t like the way I look.” I shrugged. “It all boils down to the fact that they’re after me.”
“Most things do have a point, though,” Daniel contested. “I feel like this does. Everything just fits together too perfectly.”
“You’re probably right.” I looked past him towards the cabin that was ominously empty. I pointed at it, focusing on a question we could actually answer. “But where are they? What happened to them?”
“I don’t know.  They left on foot, but I didn’t have time to track them.”
Jackson rolled his shoulders. “I’m on it.”
He grabbed Margaret and kissed her with gusto. When he released her, she put her hand to his cheek, and I knew they were communicating. Jackson smiled at her in parting, then ran swiftly into the forest.
“What do you want me to do?” Margaret asked in a carefully neutral voice.
“Track the Seekers. See if you can’t find out where they’ve made their headquarters, but don’t engage. Reconnaissance only. Keep in contact…I’ll come help you later.” Daniel’s voice was just as politely calm.
She nodded and went over to her motorcycle. With a deft move, she spun around, throwing dirt and rocks behind her, and was gone. I looked at Daniel, awed and a little confused.
“What?” he asked.
I pursed my lips. “And what do you want me to do?”
He stared at me for a moment. The command melted from his face. I could see him resisting a smile. “Was I acting all superior again?”
“Not really,” I said as I wrapped my hands around his neck. “I was just wondering why everyone seems to defer to you and all of a sudden you have this…It’s like you’re a general in battle or something.”
He gave a funny little cough and said, “What I want you to do is figure out how Amanda might be connected to this. Maybe you and Alex can figure something out.”
“I think you’re trying to distract me, but I accept your challenge.” I stared into his eyes. “I’m worried about her, Daniel. You didn’t see Amanda when we came here yesterday. She was terrified. Even more than that, she was defeated…like she had given up on something.”
His voice was soothing. “We’ll make sure nothing happens to her. I promise.”
I nodded, trusting his promise. We turned back to the car, knowing there was nothing else left to do here. Daniel tapped on the steering wheel in restless thoughtfulness as we started away from the lifeless cabin. He was silent, lending his thoughts to the mysteries surrounding us instead of conversation.
Not able to handle silence, I asked, “Did you say something to Mark today?”  The flashes of Mark’s thoughts I’d caught today had been angry, and he’d refused to talk to me.
Daniel’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “He thought it would be a good idea to ask me if we were screwing around. He was looking for a fight, because he resents me being with you. He’s been thinking a lot about luring you to the King’s party this Friday to try to get you drunk for some very ungentlemanly reasons. I suggested if he even thought about coming close to you I would show him a world of pain.” Daniel saw the rising anger on my face. Holding up his fingers and measuring out a tiny distance, he quickly added, “Just a little. A Pluto sized world of pain.”
I could feel waves of anger turning my face red. “How dare he! How dare he act like I’m cheap entertainment! How dare he assume, even drunk, I would sleep with him!”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.”
“I’m glad you did!” I raged. “I think I should have a talk with Jennifer. She’d be a little shy about dating him if I told her he has an incurable, transmittable disease. ”
Daniel laughed. His eyes were alight with happiness. “You wouldn’t!”
I looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Anger at Mark had me contemplating retribution in ways Daniel would never start to believe. Daniel touched my pursed lips, and I relaxed. Retribution could wait.
“Pluto isn’t a planet,” I told him at his touch. “Not anymore. They downgraded it.”
“I think I said that for comedic effect.”
“I must have missed the humor,” I teased.
“Ah, well, you can’t win them all…”
I looked down the dirt road we were driving on feeling upset for a different reason. I was back to the reason we had come. “How could he endanger Amanda like that? How could he drag her into their world? She’s his daughter! He has to care about her!”
“Are we talking about Amanda’s dad or yours?” he asked quietly.
I groaned. “Not everything is a Freudian slip.” Daniel’s skeptical look spoke volumes. “All right, I might relate to her just a little bit. I know how empty it can feel not having a parent around.”
“I know.” He took my hand. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t either curse my father for never claiming me, or curse my mother for abandoning me. But, I’ve always had this longing to meet them…just once.”
“I can understand that only…”
“Ellen didn’t abandon you,” he finished.
“Yes.”
His eyes went distant. “You have no idea how lucky you are to have her. Most of us are abandoned by the time we are eight or nine.” Bitterness filled his voice. “Our mothers can’t handle the stress of having us around. Self-preservation kicks in, I guess.”
I hadn’t known it was typical for Watchers to be abandoned. I touched his face. “I don’t see how anyone could just leave you. You’re such a good person and to just leave you alone at such a young age…”
“I wish you would quit saying that,” he said.
“Saying what?”
“That I’m a good person. I’m not.”
His shoulders hunched over and tired lines appeared on his face as forbidden memories surfaced in his brain. I took my hand away and looked up at the sky, searching for a way to get him to believe me when I said he wasn’t bad, hating the hatred he had for himself.
Dusk was kissing the landscape with pinks and oranges, casting a thin pallor of sleepiness over the world. Yet, amongst that sleepiness, there were signs of re-growth. The world was impatient to start growing again after such a long winter. The wind was brisk, but it reminded me of sitting outdoors on spring days. I looked past the dusk, affected by its beauty, and saw that the moon was starting to appear. It was a beautiful, glowing pendant in the sky. The wind and the feeling of the moon being so close made me realize there was always a balance. We weren’t good or evil one – we were both. And that made us more.
“Do you ever think about what’s on the dark side of the moon?” I asked.
“No…no I don’t.” He eyed me funny, obviously trying to figure out where I was going with my question.
“We always look at its surface, the part that the sun lets us see, but we never think about what’s on the other side. It’s dark, and probably riddled with ugly bits, but because of its darkness, the side that isn’t lit, we appreciate the beauty of her light. If we didn’t have the darkness, we couldn’t see the light so clearly. That’s the secret everyone overlooks about the moon. She’s always balanced between light and dark, night and day. She accepts that balance, knowing she can be both.”
We pulled up to my house. I started to get out thinking Daniel was considering what I had said, but he stopped me with a hand on my arm.  “Clare, you’re more than just beautiful. You…you are the bright side of the moon I see so clearly.”
“Thanks,” I said softly, smiling.
“Can you do me a favor?”
“Sure.” I agreed easily. Now wasn’t the time to argue; I could see that much on his face.
“I can’t come over tonight. I’m going to help track down the other Seekers.” He silenced my interruption with a finger to my lip. “And no, you can’t come. It’s too dangerous. My favor is that you call Alex to stay with you, so you’re not left alone.”
“Okay, but…”
I wanted to experience again what we’d had last night. We had talked about everything, arguing, and poking fun of each other, but mostly getting lost in each other’s ideas and personal truths. I had fallen asleep in his arms, and when I woke up, he’d been there. It had been amazing. I definitely wanted an encore.
Daniel touched my face. “I know.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, as I started to get out. “Be careful.”
He kissed me in reply. His kiss told me he would be more than careful. “Alex will drive you to school in the morning, so I’ll see you in gym.”
“Could…could you call me? You know later. To let me know you’re okay?”
“Tell you what. You can have this.” Reaching across me, he pulled a cell phone out of the glove box. “I’m the only one who has this number, so you’ll know it’s me calling.”
“I think you’re just trying to give me a cell phone because it irritates you that I don’t have one.”
“Partly.” He kissed me again. “Goodnight.”
“Night.”
I got out of the car and shouldered my bag. As I stood with my back to the car, something in the pit of my stomach told me his goodnight had been a goodbye. I turned back and tapped on the window. He lowered it again and leaned towards me.
“I love you,” I said.
Daniel looked surprised, but happy. “I love you, too.”
I stepped back and waved at him as he pulled away. Daniel drove away very quickly, like a ghost into twilight. He was gone before I had caught up to the reality of his absence. As I watched, I felt as if someone, or something, was trying to tell me something important. The feeling told me that things would start blowing up again if I didn’t listen. It didn’t help that the hairs on my neck were standing on end with preternatural alertness. The bad feelings got worse as I walked to the door. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was so acute, I felt as if I was going to be sick.
I went inside, hoping it was just fear for his safety that had me feeling this way, and stopped in the foyer to get my thoughts working straight. After a moment of struggling, the feeling not leaving despite my best efforts, I went to the kitchen.
Ellen was already home. She was munching absently on a sandwich – the only thing she could make without burning the house down – and reading at our kitchen table. When I saw her looking so perfect and so Ellen-like, reading her horror novel and eating the one thing she could make, I felt calm around the worry. I bent down and wrapped my arms around her neck.
She hadn’t abandoned me like so many others had. I’d always felt grateful she had stuck around when it would have been easier to leave, but now it felt like more. She had loved me enough to stay. She loved me enough to risk her own neck for mine. That’s what a family was.
She was startled at my greeting, but didn’t comment. She simply set her stuff down and patted my arms, the only part of me she could reach. She sensed I needed her touch more than her words. I released her and walked over to the phone, so I could call and invite Alex over as promised.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Was my conversation with Daniel showing on my face? Was the feeling I had in my gut – that we were all teetering on the edge of a precipice – that evident in my expression?
“I just never realized how amazing you are.”
“Well, I’ve known!” She laughed, her bubbly laughter filling the kitchen with sound, making my heart lift a couple of inches. “But…did everything go okay?”
I shook my head. “Nobody was home. We think they took off.” I took a deep breath. “Daniel met with one of the Seekers. They’ve decided to be honest about why they’re here and that’s definitely not a good sign. They gave Daniel an ultimatum…back off or else.”
“Oh.” Her eyes were round with terror, but she kept her voice calm. “That could be a good thing, though.”
“How so?”
“Their plan, whatever it is, might not be working. If they have to resort to threats, then maybe they’re growing desperate.”
“That’s all I need – desperate super humans. I have a feeling their kind of desperation is a lot more destructive then our kind.”
Ellen bit her lip. “I didn’t think of that…Is that all that happened?”
“All that you need to know,” I said and picked up the phone.
“Did you and Daniel get in a fight?”
“No.” I put the phone down and sank wearily into the chair next to her.
She stared at me, trying to understand my weirdness.  “Are you going to call Alex?” she asked quietly.
“Daniel thought she might be able to help me figure out where they could have gone or how Amanda is involved. If Amanda was taken against her will, I’m going to do everything I can to get her back. Even if she wasn’t taken, I’m going to make sure she’s okay and knows what she’s gotten herself into.”
Ellen was smiling. “Sometimes, you sound so much like your father it’s scary. He had that same kind of dedication to helping people.” She paused, and I could hear her going over the reasons why talking about him didn’t hurt as much.
“It’s because of Sam,” I told her.
“What is?” She started twisting her fingers into knots.
“You can talk about my father because Sam is making it hurt less. He’s reminded you not all love is painful.”
“Stupid mind reader,” she grumbled, looking embarrassed.
“It’s kind of funny isn’t?” I said thoughtfully. “We go all these years managing to stay hidden. Then: Bam!” I bashed my hands together. “Moving here was like a catalyst. We both find friends, Daniel and Sam, and we encounter these Seekers. Kind of weird, huh?”
“Maybe, it’s fate.”
“Or maybe, it’s random chance.”
“Or maybe, it’s fate,” she replied stubbornly.
“Or…not.”
“I’ll take that to mean you agree it’s a possibility.” She put her dish in the sink then grabbed her book off the table. “I’m going to go take a bath and finish this chapter.”
“Okay.”
“Are you good?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
She walked out, her mind funneling through everything I had just told her. She hoped she was doing the right thing in staying. She hoped it wasn’t selfishness keeping us here. At the stairs, she paused.
“Your bath salts are in the shoe box at the top of your closet,” I called as she tried to figure out where she had put them.
“Thanks!” she called back.
She started humming, a slow, sad song about regret that her grandmother used to sing. It was a song that always calmed her. It was a song I associated with coming change; she had always hummed it when contemplating a move.
I picked up the phone and called Alex, knowing that despite having her here I would be in for a long night of worrying. Another night of sitting on my window seat, counting seconds.


Chapter 17


Fifteen minutes after calling Alex, I heard the door open, and she called my name. Blinking in an attempt to clear away my conversation with Daniel, I looked up then smiled as she appeared around the door. “Thanks for coming.”
“Did you expect me to say no? You’re my friend.”
“I know. I’m just glad you came…glad you’re so freaking awesome to care like you do.” I took her bag from her and started toward the stairs. “We don’t have to spend all night working on this. I don’t want you to feel like…”
“You’re using me for my knowledge? That you only call when you need a favor?”
“Yes.”
“I know you better than that, Clare. Finding Amanda is important.”
“It is…very.”
She followed me upstairs and down the hall. “Clare? What’s really going on? There’s more going on here…I can tell.”
I stopped walking. We were at the foot of my bedroom stairs. I could hear Ellen in the bathroom, humming along to a different song, earphones blocking out our voices. I was alone in this. I couldn’t blatantly lie to Alex, but could I trust her with the truth? I couldn’t help wanting to protect Daniel, and I knew if I told her the truth it would put him at risk…it would put us all at risk.
“I can’t tell you,” I said honestly.
“Is it because you don’t trust me?”
“I trust you. It’s just that not everything in this world falls into the realm of simple. Some things are just…complicated. Telling you is complicated.”
“That is the most ridiculous thing I think anyone has said to me all year,” she said, walking around me and starting up the narrow stairs.
“It’s the most honest thing anyone has said to you all year,” I retorted, following her.
She spun around, her eyes bright with emotion. I tried to listen to what she was thinking, but it was going by too fast. “What would it take for you to tell me?” she asked.
“Um.”
“I just want to understand and help find Amanda. Is that so wrong?”
“You don’t understand…” I sighed. “It could get you killed.”
She tensed at the warning in my voice. “You mean by Daniel?”
“No. He would never hurt you. But there are…others.” I shook my head. “I shouldn’t even be saying that. You could be found and killed for knowing. Knowledge is deadly in my world.”
Her face transformed in slight fear. Whatever she was thinking – and she’d carefully not thought about it around me – must have been a lot nicer than the truth. Controlling her panic, she stared me down in a typical Alex expression that meant she was trying to understand everything in the universe all at once.
“What if I proved myself to you? What if I did something that linked me to you forever?”
I started laughing. “You’re being way melodramatic.” I laughed as a shudder ran down my spine. “If you get all teen-angsty on me, I’m leaving and not coming back. That’s a promise.”
She ignored my comment.  “I know you can’t trust me like you can trust Daniel. That’s different. He’s your soulmate. But I’m your friend. No,” she shook her head, “it feels odd to say this, but I feel as if I’m your sister. It’s like we’ve spent our younger years apart. We were meant to be sisters, Clare, can’t you see it?”
I stepped back, a little startled. Alex had never been like this. She got mad at me, sure, but she was always so cool and collected. She was the calm in the storm. Her composure was falling apart like a house on fire now. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“You’re meant to tell me the truth!” she added.
“I don’t believe that things are meant to be,” I scoffed.
“That’s a load of horse crap, and you know it.”
Her eyes, if possible, grew even wider and brighter. I wasn’t sure what she would do next; her thoughts were moving too quickly. From her expression, I gathered she was about to lead a massive army against a raving horde of lunatics in a drastic final stand to preserve the country she loved, or she was going to do something just as reckless, like make me swear on my love for Daniel to tell her the truth.
“I have an idea,” she said as if she’d heard my thoughts. “There’s this tradition in Native American culture where two people bind themselves together through a blood pact. To betray that pact is to betray your honor and your soul.”
“Blood pact?”
“Yeah. You know…blood brothers. It’s been in a million movies. Chuck Norris had a Native American blood brother in Walker, Texas Ranger.”
“I’m not even going to ask how you knew that.” I paused. “What does this blood pact really do, beyond hurting a lot?”
“It makes us blood sisters…It makes us family.” She threw me a funny look. “You tell everything to your family, and they keep your secrets, because they love you.”
I went over to the bed and sat down, my head heavy. A sister? I could have a sister? Was it a trap? “I’m not sure I should have gotten out of bed this morning,” I muttered.
“If you don’t want to I’ll understand, but…” She shrugged.
“You’ll forever doubt if I trust you?” I finished. She nodded, and I started laughing. “You’re almost as good at backing people into corners as I am.”
“Then you know you can only back people into corners if they are willing to be backed into them,” she said pointedly.
I knew in my heart that I’d already said yes, maybe even before Ellen and I moved here. “You can’t tell Sam. Not yet. He should get a chance to fall in love with Ellen first.” 
“Please! I’m not new to keeping parents in line.”
I stood, feeling excited suddenly.  The notion that we were teetering on the edge of something big hadn’t faded, but I wanted to believe this oath would be the beginning of a resolution. If not, at least I would get a sister out of it.
“So, what do we have to do?” I asked.
“We have to cut our hands and share blood,” she replied.
“Our whole hand?”
She pursed her lips. “I think I remember a story or something where they just cut the thumb.”
“So, we’ll be thumb sisters? We could hitchhike in perfect unison?”
“Ha. Ha,” she said dryly. “You’re not scared of blood, right?”
“No.” I uncurled the hand I had clenched. “You don’t have any sort of diseases do you?”
Alex rolled her eyes scornfully and retrieved her bag from beside the chimney. She pulled a tiny pocketknife out of it.
“Did you have this whole thing planned?” I asked indignantly as I eyed the knife.
“Nope. I always carry a pocketknife with me. You never know when you’ll need one.” She turned to me and flicked it open with a deft move. “You learn to be prepared when you’ve been on as many hikes as I have.”
I looked at the knife and swallowed. “I take it back. Can’t we be blood sisters without actually spilling any blood?”
“You are afraid!”
“I am not! It’s just…what if you slip or something?”
“But you have a piercing!” She pointed to my nose.
“Done by a professional.”
She flipped the knife around, offering me the handle. “You can do it yourself.”
I reached for the handle slowly. I could see how serious she was about this. From brief flashes of her rapid, confused thoughts, I saw how badly she wanted a sister. She’d wanted one ever since her mother had died and she realized she wouldn’t have any other women in her life. Seeing that truth in her eyes, I knew I could do what she asked.
I put the knife against my thumb and pushed. Bright red blood oozed out of the wound. Grimacing to hide the pain, I offered Alex the knife.  She took it from me quickly and did the same, her face contorting with pain. She held her thumb out to me. After a second of hesitation, I pressed my thumb against hers. We stood with our thumbs pressed together and looked at each other seriously.
We were silent for a second, then I started laughing. “Now what? Do we find an animal to sacrifice and do a traditional dance to the moon or something?”
“We do have to bathe naked in a lake at midnight, but other than that…” She laughed at my shocked expression. “I’m kidding! You just have to promise to be my sister forever, and I do the same.”
“Okay.” I fought the giggles that were threatening to consume me. This felt so corny movie moment-ish. “I promise to be your sister forever.”
“I promise to be your sister forever, too,” Alex said firmly.
As soon as she said it, a tingling started from the wound, as if I’d stuck my thumb into an electrical socket. Alex shook her head, and her eyes glazed over with a white film. They cleared and she smiled at me, like nothing had happened. Was she unaware of what her eyes had just done? I was freaking out, but I pushed the feeling away, not wanting to alarm her.
She dropped her hand. “There.” She looked at her wound that smeared blood trickled from. “Do you have a Band Aid?”
“I think so.”
I went over to my nightstand and dug around for the emergency first aid kit. I found two and handed her the one that didn’t have Mickey Mouse on it.
“Thanks.” Alex cleaned off the tip of the knife and put it back in her bag as if nothing had happened, as if we hadn’t just promised to be sisters forever. Wrapping her thumb, she sat down on the window seat and looked at me expectantly. “Okay. Explain.”
I took a deep breath. Pacing in front of her nervously, I started talking, trying to phrase things in a way that wouldn’t make me sound as if I belonged on an express train headed for crazy town. It was pretty difficult.
When I finished, Alex stared at me intensely for a long minute. I couldn’t tell if she thought I was crazy or telling the truth. I wasn’t certain which would be worse for her. She kept her thoughts scrambled, and I realized she was doing it on purpose. I frowned then concentrated. It took a minute to make sense of everything. 
It all sounds so crazy. I mean she couldn’t have made that up…who would make that up? I just…it would be so lovely if it were true. It would be proof…I can’t believe all this time I thought she’d been exposed to radiation or something…And these people that are after her! No wonder Daniel has been so serious lately…He’s probably been worrying himself sick. Poor guy! I can’t believe no one else in town has seen the truth! She paused thoughtfully. No, I can see why. He’s very good at charming people. But this!  She looked at me. I trust her, though. She’ll be one of the good ones.
I backed away and sat on the bed. Why was she taking this so calmly? Why was her first inclination to worry about Daniel? I took in her face, which was dim from the darkness creeping across my room. I knew the truth. She was a good person, and good people don’t waste their time placing blame or accusing people of being liars.
“I…” she started to say. “I believe you.”
I ran a hand through my hair trying to come to grips with her calm. “I…I am not sure how I feel about that...”
She smiled smugly. “If you think fate doesn’t exist, then you’re a fool. You come to the one town with another one like you, and you just happen to fall in love with him! Ha! Now, that’s fate!”
“What is this, fate night? Is there a discount for advice on fate that I missed? Do they keep it at Wal-Mart between the detergent and the scary prophecies?”
“Where’s Daniel?” she asked. “Is he trying to find those others?”
“Yes…I think he’s preparing for a fight. He keeps acting so…he’s been beating himself up, and I think it’s because he doesn’t like killing. They’re forcing his hand, though,” I answered fiercely.
“Of course they are.”
“I just wish I could figure out why!” I said in exasperation.
Alex shook her head. “Right now, we need to do what Daniel asked and concentrate on finding Amanda. Let him worry about the other stuff.”
There was a knock on my door, then Ellen walked up the stairs dressed in her pink bathrobe and carrying two cups.
“Hey guys! I brought you tea!” she said, proud of herself.
“You figured out how to turn the stove on?” I asked lightly, in an attempt to clear the air of tension and intensity of our conversation.
“Yep!” She glanced between Alex and me sensing the intense atmosphere she had walked in on. “Is everything okay here?” she asked.
“Um,” I glanced at Alex.
Hadn’t I promised Ellen not to tell anyone? Would she be mad? More importantly, would this ruin her chance with Sam?
“Clare told me the truth,” Alex said rising from the seat to walk over and accept the tea.
“Oh!” Ellen paused. She was calm…a little too calm. “Okay. So, what do you think?”
Alex shrugged. “It’s kind of cool.”
“To you, maybe,” I said darkly.
Ellen joined me on the bed. “Is that what you were talking about?”
“Actually, we had just moved on to trying to figure out where Amanda could be,” Alex said.
Ellen turned to me. “Clare.”
“Ellen,” I replied.
“You’ve shared some of Amanda’s thoughts over the past couple weeks, right?”
“Of course,” I answered. “It’s hard not to.”
Ellen continued, “I know when I’m stressed out, or feeling down, I like to think of a calming place. I think about that place and shove everything else out. Maybe, Amanda’s thought is about an actual place she goes to? It might be a place where she would hide.”
“That’s a great idea!” Alex said jumping up to go and rummage through her bag again. “Can you think of anything?” she asked as she pulled out a small map of the area and shook it open.
I went over all the thoughts I’d heard from Amanda. Most of them had been sad and depressed and far from any kind of retreat. “I don’t think there’s anywhere,” I said.
“Are you sure? Maybe, it was only a brief image.” Ellen’s eyes were intense. The part of her that liked mystery movies was enjoying the hunt.
 “I don’t know, Mom. I’ve seen a lot of thoughts...”
“There are a couple of places where they could camp. Or at least places I would camp at,” Alex said as she studied the map. “If they’re hiding and want a place that is strategic, one where they could see around them and have a barrier to their backs, I would think they’d be here.” She pointed at the Nantahala River. “It’s within walking distance of their house, about three miles.”
“But what if they were taken against their will?” I asked.
“Then why would that other dude come and warn Daniel off?” Alex asked.
“Because they’re tired of playing games?” I suggested.
“Or their spy disappeared on them and they’re out of options.”
“Alex could have a point,” Ellen said swiveling her head back toward me like the lone audience member at a very strange tennis game.
“Or maybe they just got impatient,” I countered.
“Maybe.” Alex bit her lip. “But last time we saw Amanda, she acted cornered. I would bet my Jeep she ran away.”
I sought a compromise. “What if she ran away and her father went looking for her? That would explain why they both fell off the grid, and matches your theory that the Seekers have lost their spy and are getting desperate. I got the impression their boss is putting pressure on them for results.”
“That doesn’t tell us where Amanda went, though.”
“Are there any bridges over the river you mentioned?” I asked slowly.  I did know a place! The mention of a river helped me remember.
“I think there are four or five major ones near town and possibly two or three near the preserved land Amanda lives next to.”
“Any littered with graffiti and next to a dirt road?”
“Most of the bridges are littered with graffiti – there’s not a lot for kids to do on a Saturday night around here – but only two are next to dirt roads. Why?”
I got up and paced next to the chimney. I thought over an image Amanda had unintentionally left in my brain. It was during gym and she had been silently asking what the point of living was. Then she’d imagined that bridge. What if, instead of running away, or being taken somewhere against her will, she’d given up? I stopped in my tracks. What if she’d decided to do something stupid? What if her and her father’s disappearances weren’t related? What if they were two separate things? But that meant… I pressed my hand to my chest.
“I need Daniel,” I muttered.
What could I do? Was I too late? I hoped beyond a fool’s hope that I was wrong. Maybe Amanda had gone there to gain perspective. Maybe it wasn’t the place that she was plotting to…I couldn’t think it. Alex and Ellen exchanged frightened looks.
Ellen stood hesitantly, twisting her fingers in worry. “Clare, sweetie? You need to catch us up to speed. We’re not Daniel, but maybe we can help.”
“The disappearances are two separate things,” I said. “We know that Amanda’s dad doesn’t care about her, and we know Amanda has been really depressed. What if they both took off, but in different ways, and for different reasons?”
“I’m still not there,” Ellen said.
“Amanda’s dad might have just gotten tired of working for those evil people and decided to go his merry way. Or he got lost on a drinking binge. Who cares? Amanda, though…she’s lost touch with all her reasons for living. She’s given up. I think she gave up a long time ago, and now something has pushed her over the edge.” I glanced at Ellen. “You were right, she does have a retreat. I saw…I saw one day a place she imagined after thinking that the world was pointless. It was a river with a beautiful view, surrounded by woods on all sides. It was next to a bridge and an old dirt road. She went there to kill herself. Don’t you see?”
Alex gasped, while Ellen stared at me in shock. My fear turned to resolution. I wasn’t going to sit here and do nothing. I would have to find Amanda. “She’s been missing for a day, but maybe, she’s waiting, maybe, a part of her hopes someone will come looking for her.”  I pointed at the map. “Alex, narrow down the possible bridges and give me directions.” My authoritative tone brought her back to her senses. She nodded and poured over the map. I went and dug through Daniel’s jacket for the cell phone. “I need to call Daniel, see if we can’t get a ride from him.”
“I could take you.” Ellen said hesitantly.
“No. It’s too dangerous.” I spoke crisply to hide my fear. It reminded me of Daniel when he had ordered everyone about. Maybe he’d been more scared about those Seekers than he’d let on. I looked at Ellen apologetically realizing she wasn’t geared the same way Jackson and Margaret were. “Sorry…”
She waved a hand. “I get it. What can I do?”
“Call Sam, and go over to his place for the night.”
“Excuse me?” Her face turned bright red.
“Alex and I are going to be leaving to look for Amanda. I don’t want you here alone. Not right now.”
“Will that make looking for Amanda easier?” she asked huffily. “Me being with Sam all night?”
“Please, just do it. As a personal favor?”
“Fine.”
She started to stomp away, her embarrassment making her regress to adolescence, but stopped immediately. I stared at her back, wondering what she was doing, wondering why her thoughts sounded cut off as if she had shoved them into a black hole.
“Mom?”
Ellen turned. It reminded me of a thousand horror movies where the victim slowly turns and you find out they’ve just been murdered or they were actually the bad guy all along. When she looked at me, I didn’t recognize her. I took a step back. “Clare?” she said.
“Yes?” I exchanged a worried glance with Alex, who had finally looked up from surveying her map.
“Clare, Daniel has disappeared. We can’t contact him.”
I frowned at Ellen. Her voice didn’t sound right. I realized it was because it wasn’t Ellen’s voice. It was Beatrice’s. I gulped. She could do that? I remembered my conversation with Jackson earlier this afternoon. He hadn’t been lying… I froze as her words registered.
“What do you mean he’s disappeared?” I asked.
“He was out hunting for the Seekers. Margaret was hunting in a different part of the forest. Jackson was hunting the human. The others have called me, but he hasn’t. The only reason he wouldn’t is if something has happened.”
“He can’t have been gone that long,” I said. “He only dropped me off two hours ago.”
Ellen smiled sadly. It was creepy, because it was Beatrice’s smile.
“Our time does not flow like yours. When we set out to accomplish something, we do it very quickly. In a second, we could have changed a lot or changed little, but, either way that second would have meant something.”
“Our bodies slow down, so everything can speed up. Nice,” I muttered.
“Besides, I can feel something is wrong…I know it like any mother would know if their child was in danger. We are coming for you. It was wise to tell your mother to stay with Sam. We can only leave one behind, and even that is dangerous.”
“What are you planning? We’re going to look for him, right?”
“Yes, but first, we must protect the girl you were talking about. I know Daniel would want it.”
I cursed my inattention. If I had just listened to what my gut had been telling me, and had insisted he stay with me, he wouldn’t be in this predicament. This was my fault.
“I will release your mother now. Tell her she must come with us.”
“When will you be here?”
“Now.”   The doorbell rang right on cue. I jumped at the unexpected sound.
Ellen blinked several times as her eyes cleared. Her eyes focused on my face. “What’s wrong?”
I started towards the door. “Daniel’s gone missing, you were used like a puppet, and, apparently, we have to save Amanda, if she’s still alive, find Daniel, if those Seekers haven’t killed him already, and save the world before midnight.”
Ellen gapped at me, dumbfounded, as I headed down the stairs. A cool blanket of reason wrapped around me as I walked. I just needed to think about this logically, like a math problem or a science experiment. What was the next step in the process to get the desired outcome?
My eyes narrowed dangerously as I bounded down the remaining stairs. Forget reason. My next step was to find a way to get rid of those Seekers, to end the terror for good. Even if it meant a fight. There was no way on earth I would let them take my family from me. They had messed with the wrong person – they just didn’t know it yet.


Chapter 18


I jumped the last three stairs and threw back the door. As I did, a gust of icy wind rushed into the house. The sun had finally fallen beyond the tall mountains, but even without the sun to let me know what the sky was doing, I could tell there was a storm brewing; it was the kind of storm that ripped through the world and left mayhem in its wake.
Beatrice stood on the porch, her beautiful face illuminated from the light pouring out of the hallway. Her auburn hair moved with the wind. “Sorry for using your mother like that,” she apologized as soon as the door was open. “Cell phone calls are too easily traced and we are running out of time.”
Ellen’s Beatrice face popped into my head, and I shivered. “It’s okay.” Another surge of wind billowed, and thunder boomed deafeningly around the mountains. “Is this natural or is…”
“Margaret is creating cover for us, to distract the others and throw them off our trail, which is why we must hurry and help the girl. She will not last long in this weather.”
“All right,” I said. “What’s the plan? How can I help?”
Beatrice smiled, although I could tell it was to calm me rather than from any sense of pleasure. In her eyes, I could see her worry. “You will go with Margaret.” She gestured behind her, and I saw the others standing on the porch, blending effortlessly into the dark. “Jackson will take your friend. I gather she will refuse to be left behind?” I nodded in agreement. “Han and I will take your mother to Sam’s. I’ll join the search later. Where should we start looking for the girl?”
“Have you got the bridges narrowed down?” I asked Alex as she reached the hallway, her steps slower than mine had been.
She looked at her map, her thoughts grateful I wasn’t leaving her behind. “It has to be the Wright Bridge where Fulsom Creek merges with the river. It’s the closest bridge to Amanda’s house. If I remember correctly, it’s a really pretty spot. Dad and I go there to fish sometimes.”
“Do you know how to get there?” I asked the group on the porch.
Jackson stepped forward and held out his hand. Alex handed him the map. He glanced at it and said, “Point it out.” After a second of consideration, she pointed to a spot. “Okay, I’ve got it,” he said.
“Once Han and I get your mother to safety, I’ll look for Daniel’s trail,” Beatrice said. “It might give us a clue as to what happened… Please be safe out there. If anything remotely strange happens, get out of there and contact us. I don’t want you to go missing as well.”
Jackson put his hand on Beatrice’s shoulder. “We’ll be fine. Margaret’s meaner than all of us put together…and I can take care of myself.”
Margaret almost smiled at him. Beatrice took a deep, calming breath. I knew it wouldn’t be enough to lessen her worry. Her worry was a mother’s fear for her child.
Ellen bounded down the stairs fully dressed now and pushing her hair back into a ponytail. She looked at the group, slightly uncomfortable. She was used to running from Watchers, not trusting them. Walking down the steps, instead of running away took a lot of willpower. Trust in my judgment was the only thing that kept her calm.
“You have to go with Han and Beatrice, Mom. They’re going to take you to Sam’s and make sure nothing happens to you,” I told her.
Ellen bit her lip as she nodded. Han held the screen-door for her with a kind smile lighting his face. Looking into his eyes, her fear dropped a couple of degrees. “Be careful?” she said, turning back to me.
I knew she wanted to tell me a million things, like not to go, or to let the others take all the risks. She knew me better than that. She knew I would do what was right. To ‘be careful’ was a reminder that I was still human.
“I will.” I touched her face.
“We should go,” Beatrice said.
Ellen, Beatrice, and Han got in a red car and disappeared down the street. I squared my shoulders when they were gone, preparing for what lay ahead. Jackson noticed and grinned mockingly. He probably thought I looked silly trying to be tough; that my darkness was nothing compared to their kind of dark. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Come on,” Jackson said. “We’re wasting time.” He headed to the curb where their black motorcycles were parked. I had been so consumed in my worry for Amanda I hadn’t heard them drive up.
Margaret threw me a helmet off the back of her bike. I caught it and tried to act cool about our means of transportation, though I was scared out of my mind, particularly with Margaret driving. Jackson handed Alex his helmet and waited for her to climb on behind him. I was intimidated to do the same with Margaret. She looked at me and told me with her eyes to hurry.
Margaret’s motorcycle roared to life as soon as I was on the back. I gripped her lightly, so she wouldn’t hit me, or hold true to her promise of breaking every bone in my body. My grip tightened as she swung us around the cul-de-sac and followed Jackson down the road. Alex yelped at the speed and put her head against Jackson’s back, so she wouldn’t have to look at the road. My reaction was quite different.
As Margaret blew through stop signs, and otherwise ignored most traffic laws, I felt exhilaration. I liked the wild ride. I liked the freedom of the wind and the possible danger of falling off. I could understand Margaret’s attraction to the motorcycle. It was liberating. It was fun. I didn’t want the ride to end.
What should have taken us twenty minutes was accomplished in a few short minutes as the trees flashed past us on the dark road. The dim moon was just starting to brighten the dark horizon, only to slowly become obscured by the clouds boiling rapidly across our valley. The slow march counted down the time we had left to utter disaster.
At the proper road, Jackson made a sharp turn to the left, Margaret close behind. Dirt flew up, choking me as we raced down the winding road. A tall bridge dwarfed the dirt road, and I felt a sense of déjà-vu. This was the spot. Margaret pulled up next to Jackson, and they both cut their engines. The sound of the dark water and the chirping of crickets were the loudest things in the night against the rushing water. I got off the motorcycle and looked to the water’s edge for any sign of Amanda.
Alex clambered off Jackson’s bike as well and immediately fell to the ground. Retching horribly, she heaved and threw up. Jackson waved me away, reaching down to touch Alex’s shoulder.
“It’s probably motion sickness. I’ll take care of her. Go find that girl.”
I ignored Jackson and started towards my friend, my sister. She caught my eye and waved me away. Her eyes told me she was fine, that we were wasting time. I hesitated, then decided Alex knew her body better than I did. She would tell me if it was serious. Hating that I was leaving her, I started searching in earnest for Amanda. Margaret went one way along the riverbank and I went the other.
As I searched near the eerily silent water, I got a sinking sensation we were too late. I had failed. Not only I had let Amanda down, but we were wasting time looking for her when we could be rescuing Daniel. I walked the edge of the river, trying to temper the panicked thoughts, and called Amanda’s name over and over again.
The others had faded from view when I heard Amanda’s voice in my head. This is it. He hasn’t even bothered to look for me.  No one cares whether I live or die, so why not just die? I’m sorry, God. I’m sorry.
“AMANDA!” I yelled. I didn’t know where the thought was coming from, but she was seconds from doing something desperate.
There wasn’t an answer to my call, only a dim flash of white from the top of the bridge. Seconds after I saw the flicker of light, I heard a splash in the sluggish water.
I was running toward the water before I could register what had happened. I dove into the river without thought, the icy water instantly chilling me to the bone. I swam as fast as I could toward the ripples of her wake, feeling I wasn’t moving at all against the current. I treaded water for a second over where she had landed, to get my bearings. I didn’t see a body rise to the surface of the dark water, nor was the water carrying her downstream. That meant she was still under the water. Sucking in a ragged, emotionally charged breath, I dove down.
I cut down through the water as quickly as I could, my eyes stinging from the cold. The water was murky and deep, deeper than I had thought. I couldn’t see more than two feet in front of me. If she had moved downstream, I would never find her in the murk.
Luckily, she hadn’t. A dim shape appeared below me in the water, materializing in front of me in a mirage of surreal, absolute reality. I swam closer and saw Amanda floating like a rag doll in the brutal current. Her pale skin and dark hair drifted eerily around her face in time to the water rushing past. Her body was immune to the current – she hadn’t moved as far as I had feared. I sliced through the water and grabbed the arm that floated uselessly above her head, eager to get her back to air.  I tugged as hard as I could but she only moved a millimeter – if that. Something was wrong. I tugged again and a large rock fell out of her pocket.
Air bubbles surged out of my mouth as a string of expletives escaped me. She had filled her coat pockets with rocks. She had made sure she wouldn’t rise to surface and accidently survive.
I dropped her arm and muscled my way down to the bottom. Every inch was a struggle against simply leaving her to the watery depths of this hellhole, so that I wouldn’t join her in death. I worked at her coat, struggling with the heavy wool fabric. Her pale face kept drawing my eyes. Was she already dead? Was I rescuing someone who didn’t want to be saved? Would it even matter if I managed to get the jacket off?
It did matter. It mattered to me.
A burst of energy flooded through me at the thought, giving me strength. With a final heave, I pulled off her jacket. She rose slightly in the current and started drifting downstream. I grabbed her around the waist and kicked my way back to the surface. My chest was tight, my lungs burning with the need for air. Dim moonlight danced on the surface of the water, teasing me with the distance I had to go. Would I make it? I kicked harder. Seconds passed. Then more seconds. Was I close? Would this be the way my adventures ended?
We broke the surface just as sadness at dying started to take root in my stomach. I gasped for air and pulled Amanda’s head above the water. She didn’t react to the air. I looked around for land, knowing I had to work fast to get her breathing again. I couldn’t see the bridge anymore. Thick trees obscured the road I had been following. Every bone in my body hurting from the cold, I swam toward the shore. It only took me moments, but between Amanda’s dead weight, my cold fear, the river, and the dark clouds closing in overhead, it felt like an eternity.
Heaving with the effort, I grabbed hold of the low, thick turf and muscled my way onto shore. I dragged Amanda onto the bank beside me, knowing I only had moments if I wanted to save her. I started pushing on her chest in time to what her normal breathing should be, and hoped that if fate did exist it was my destiny to save her.
Water gushed out of her mouth in response to my touch. Her eyelids fluttered uselessly. After what seemed like a gallon of water poured out, she started to cough. Her body convulsed with each cough. She coughed up more water then fell silent. I bent down and listened for breathing. It was rough but even. She was alive.
I looked around for something to cover her with. All I had on me were wet clothes, which wouldn’t do much beyond making her wetter. I cursed my lack of foresight. Not knowing what else to do, I pulled Amanda into my arms. I wasn’t much above hypothermia myself, but I had to do something to warm her. I listened hard for any thoughts, trying to make sure she hadn’t suffered brain damage. Her thoughts were sluggish and ill-formed, but logical. She was okay, as okay as a person could be after such an ordeal.
We sat on that brush-covered bank for several minutes, listening to the sound of water sloshing past. Amanda’s mind tried to understand what had happened and why she wasn’t dead. Her thoughts boiled with overwhelming primal emotions and fears. My thoughts were focused on trying to locate the others. Had they abandoned us to search for Daniel?
Amanda’s eyelids fluttered, her wet face contorting with pain and sadness. A thought overrode all her emotions and she found the words. “Daddy?” she whispered in a scratchy voice, her eyes still closed.
“No, it’s Clare.”
She started crying, and I knew she had hoped her father had loved her enough to come find her. It was the one thing she had been clinging to all day. He would know she had come here. This had been their place. He had brought her here as a child, had talked to her on that very bridge she had jumped off. But, her father had stopped caring. That thought hurt more deeply than the idea that suicide was an acceptable alternative to a life, which, from her viewpoint, looked pretty bleak. I held her tighter.
As waves of empathy poured through my body for her, I wondered again where my reinforcements were. It didn’t make sense. They would never just leave us, even if they found Daniel. Not like this. So, why weren’t they here helping me? Or at least making sure I hadn’t died? Come to think of it…why hadn’t they helped me when I was in the river? They would have seen and heard Amanda fall better than I did. Unless…
“My, my, I am disappointed. I thought you would be much harder to catch than this. They were making such a game of it, too. To think the old man’s plan actually worked!”
I looked up at the new voice, fear pounding in my veins. The voice was familiar in a way that made my skin crawl.
While I had never seen the woman’s face before, her black eyes, her deadly nature, and certainly her voice, were as familiar as my nightmares. It was ‘Lady’ Cassandra, the Seeker who had searched for me for two years. Her blonde hair rippled in the wind that was pushing the storm along. Her face, which was round and girlish, was lifted in bleak amusement. As I stared into her midnight eyes, the rain started.
“No more water…” Amanda said half-delirious. Her eyes opened briefly, then she passed out again.
“What do you want?” I asked more bravely than I felt.
I refused to look away from those eyes that so eloquently spoke of death. The woman laughed, causing the hairs on my neck to rise in alarm. There was no helping that response. Her laugh signaled that horrible things were coming my way.
“You, of course. That’s why I’ve been on this stupid mission so long and dealt with so many…lesser beings. You have something we want, well, that Marcus wants. I will get it for him.”
“Where are Daniel and the others?” I shifted Amanda in my arms protectively. “I swear, if you’ve hurt them…”
“Oh, that’s sweet! You’re threatening me!” She leaned forward. “You’ve got spunk. I like that. It’ll make breaking you all the more fun.”
I stared at her and swallowed hard. What did she mean?  A clap of thunder shook the earth and lightning flashed across the sky. Cassandra looked behind her, worried. She turned back to me and looked over the water. Her round face contorted with concentration, then she smirked and straightened. “Now, be a good little girl and come with me. If you don’t, I’ll make sure your friend dies.”
“If I leave her here, she’ll die anyway!”
“That’s a risk you’re just going to have to take.” Cassandra shrugged indifferently. “Death now or death later, what does it matter anyway? They’re all weak, useless things. Death is merciful for them.”
I resisted the urge to get up and offer her my hand in the form of a fist to the nose. She was beyond evil. What kind of creature could kill, not because they needed food to survive, but because they simply wanted to, because they craved the destruction inherent in taking a life? I glared at her. Her threat was serious and I hated her for it. She wouldn’t think twice about killing Amanda, or Alex, or any of my new family.
I sucked in a breath for courage, knowing what my choice was. I slipped my arm from around Amanda and laid her back down. Water poured down my face and splashed onto hers, but she didn’t react to it at all.
Just let her live, I pleaded silently.
Cassandra, her face triumphant, dragged me to my feet and marched me through the leaves. Beyond the foliage, an SUV waited on the same dirt road Margaret and Jackson had parked on, though I didn’t see them anywhere. Without any preamble, she threw me in the back. Rough metal dug into my skin as I landed in a cage commonly used to transport animals. Cassandra grinned as she locked the latch. “Stay,” she told me.
She hurried to the driver’s side. The wheels spun a little from the mud as she punched the gas, but it was nothing to the all-terrain monster. The vehicle rocked over the thick underbrush and brutal rocks as she cut off-road. My head knocked into the steel repeatedly with every bump. I held on and tried to guess where I was going and what was waiting for me.
I didn’t try to come up with an escape plan. I had no intention of escaping. It was clear what I had to do.  I had to deal with this whole ordeal now and stop the chasing, stop the fear. As I traveled to the unknown, I went back to wondering if everyone else was okay and what had happened to them. Would I see them again? Would my sacrifice mean anything?
After long minutes of nothing but fear for company, my captor slammed on her brakes, throwing me forward. I cursed and crawled to my knees again to look out. We had arrived at a small concrete structure surrounded by thick pine trees. The structure was almost completely covered by dead vines and dark mold, but it was impressive in the fear it instilled in me.
Cassandra came around the SUV and unlocked my cage. Without giving me time to get out, she grabbed me in a harsh grip, her nails digging into my arm, and pushed me toward the only entrance, a rusted metal door. Stumbling over unseen roots and dead leaves, I walked to the door, resisting the urge to turn and say something sarcastic. I was pretty sure it would only get me killed…faster.
I put my hand on the rusty handle and pulled, controlling my trembling with effort. It was raining harder now, the full brunt of Margaret’s fury unleashed to the world. I couldn’t see more than a foot in front of me, but the entrance to the structure was even darker, a black hole in the night. As I stepped past the metal door, I felt as if the earth was swallowing me.
Cassandra pointed at a barely perceptible set of stairs that spiraled downward. “Be careful,” she said. “We wouldn’t want you to snap your pretty little neck.”
She shut the door in my face with a hard slam. I listened for a moment and heard her pacing in front of the door. I sighed in relief. She wouldn’t have to guard the door if she had killed the others. But, if she stayed out there, who was I supposed to see? The brown-haired Seeker? That didn’t feel right. From the meeting I had overheard, Cassandra was in control. She had seniority. She had the power and, more importantly, she somehow had absolute control over the Nightstalkers. Had someone else been pulling the strings? Was it Marcus?
I hugged my arms to my chest as I thought about it.  Not only was it darker than night in this place, but it was colder. I couldn’t tell if it was a natural result of the structure being exposed to the elements, or if it had air conditioning, but it had the dramatic effect of being extremely unnerving. I imagined it was what a crypt felt like. I hoped I would never find out if I was right.
Pushing aside my fear, I stepped towards the stairway. There was no turning back – Cassandra would just force me to do what she wanted. I didn’t turn back for another reason. Part of me, the part that knew Daniel, knew he was here. I could feel him. The same beating in my chest I had felt for Susan was intensified by a thousand. It was so intense I actually shook. He was here, and he was alive.
At the bottom stair, I paused in surprise. Far from being a dim cave or a gloomy morgue, the room was elegant and classic. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, and rich, lavish carpets decorated every square inch of the floor. Large tapestries hung from walls, which stretched back a lot further than what the upstairs had led me to believe.  And, standing in the middle of this opulent room, playing with an old fashioned, evil-looking, sword was someone I hadn’t been expecting.


Chapter 19


It was Sheriff Cobb.
I stared at him trying to understand how he fit into the puzzle. He stared back, his intelligent eyes crinkling with fatherly laughter. I hovered near the stairs, my arms hugging my body.
“Hello, Clare.”
I didn’t reply.
“You don’t understand what’s happening here, do you?” he asked in his thick southern drawl.
“No.”
The sword in his hands was covered in strange etchings and gleamed with silver malice as he twirled it. He walked towards a small table piled with delicious-looking food, the sword adding gravity to his steps. “Would you like something to eat? An apple or an orange? A date perhaps?”
I shook my head, reminded of the story of Persephone. She had been trapped in Hell by eating food offered to her by Hades. I wasn’t about to go there.
Cobb placed the sword on the table and sat. Picking up a piece of fruit, he regarded it for a moment before he popped it into his thin, lined mouth. “At least, come and join me. An old man hates to eat alone, especially when he has a pretty girl so near to talk to.”
“I think I’ll stand,” I said with rebellion in my voice.
“My, my, what a mouth! He told me you were stubborn. He told me quite a lot about you.”
“He?” I asked.
“Yes, my dear, recently departed, cousin has been observing you for a while now.”
He ripped apart a plum, his hawk-like hands tearing into the fruit easily. Frustrated at not understanding what he was saying, I concentrated. His thoughts were blocked. He was the first person beyond Daniel and his family who could block me. I wondered how he did it, remembering that Amanda’s father had the same talent.
Stymied I asked, “Your cousin?”
“Yes. A redneck if there ever was one.”
Cobb shook his head and smiled paternally at my confused expression. He snapped his fingers, and the dark-headed Seeker stepped out of the shadows. I jumped, not having noticed him standing there. My body tense, I waited for him to attack me, figuring this was the reason I had been sent down here.
Instead, the Seeker threw something to the floor. It rolled and bounced in my direction. I took a step closer, fixated, unable to look away. I wanted to understand the oddness of the shape, why they were so intent I see the shape. Blank eyes stared up at me. I gagged when my brain registered what my eyes were seeing. It was a severed human head. Was that who I thought it was?
“Yes, that’s my cousin.” Cobb’s eyes searched my face, looking for fear.  “Gavin Nichols. He got in our way today. Spewing some sentimental nonsense about how we couldn’t use Amanda. That we had to leave her alone. That our plan was flawed. You do know Amanda, right?”
I looked away from the head. Cobb was trying to scare me, unbalance me for whatever he had planned next. I wouldn’t let him do it. He had used Amanda’s circumstances, her suicide attempt, to draw me out and distract the others. Could he have planned that? Had they killed Mr. Nichols because he had been trying to save his daughter after all?  I almost looked back at the head, wondering if his love had gotten him killed, but I focused on Cobb instead.
“Everything turned out for the best, though,” he said in that grandpa voice. He regarded me for a moment and picked up another piece of fruit. “You have no idea how much work it took to get you here, my dear.” He shook his head with a smile. “Your grandfather is a stubborn, prideful man. He came so close to ruining everything.” What could my grandfather have to do with any of this? He saw the question on my face. “Yes. I knew Roger Michaels. We were very close…knew each other since childhood. I was there when he got married. I was there when his daughter was born. When Ellen ran away and he was heartbroken, I was there. When he knew the cancer was terminal and he only had months to live, I was there. Why not convince him to change the will and give his daughter everything? Why not let his final act be an act of reconciliation? He was eager to agree. You see, he regretted not talking to your mother for all those years. He only did so because of your grandmother – another prideful soul. He was never the same; broken you might say.” He gestured at the Seeker. “My friends were pleased when I told them I had a way of drawing you out. All I had to do was play on your mother’s emotions, her desire to make amends for some of the hurt she’d caused her parents. It was actually quite easy. If those others,” his thin lips hardened, “hadn’t interfered, we would have had you within days of you moving here. But what’s a slight delay in the grand scheme of things, eh?”
At least, I now understood why we had the house. At least, I knew my grandfather regretted something. If I got out of here alive, I would have to tell Ellen.
I found my sarcasm, unwilling to let him unnerve me, particularly when I felt so exposed. “What a horrible cliché,” I said. “It’s never a good idea to tell your whole plan to your victim, Cobb. It’s tacky, very tacky.”
“I don’t understand…”
“Go ahead and tell me what I’m doing here,” I said. “I know you’re just dying to.”
The Seeker started laughing at my tone. His black eyes bored into my grey ones with grim delight. There was no pity there. Just a barely tempered rage.
Cobb laughed as well. “Marcus was right about her. She’s pretty strong-willed, isn’t she?” He stood. “It will make this more difficult.”
The Seeker shrugged indifferently. “They’re all breakable….so very breakable. Can we get on with this?” He sounded bored. I wondered how many deaths he had seen, how many deaths he had been responsible for. I hoped never to be that callous. If I lived through tonight…
“Yes, Thomas, we will. Just a moment more.” 
Cobb walked over to me. I met his eyes in hate and fear. His brown eyes held a burning purpose.  It went beyond intelligence or thought. It was obsession. Could I use it against him? I frowned and tried to break through his mental shield, but it was like a fortress.
“What’s going to happen next can happen willingly or by force. I prefer willingly. It will be better for both of us,” Cobb said.
“Spit it out,” I said through clenched teeth. I didn’t like to be threatened.
“Your blood, my dear. Give me your blood willingly.”
He stepped closer. I smelled the typical person smells, but also something else. Something foreign. Desperation? Could a person smell of desperation?
“You and I are going to be a grand experiment. If we are right, if Marcus is right, then it will be a new beginning. Together, we will be Adam and Eve. A new dawn for man and angel.”
My stomach dropped. He was crazy. He had super humans doing his bidding and he was crazy. I didn’t know what he meant, but none of it sounded good. I didn’t want a new dawn, or a new beginning, and I definitely didn’t want him to be my Adam. Gross.
“Over my dead body,” I spat.
At my words, the Seeker, Thomas, started forward.  “With pleasure.”
Cobb put a hand out. “We will do it the other way first. Remember, she has to agree to it.”
“Whatever. But after?”
“She’s not to be touched if it works.”
“What about the other one?”
“You can have him.” Cobb’s cold eyes met mine. “In fact, why don’t you call him in here?”
Thomas grinned, his boredom fading. In a voice barely above a whisper, he said, “Bring him in.” It sounded deafening to my ears.
A large metal door banged against the opposite wall and a dog-like figure appeared. I took a shallow breath, terrified at having a Nightstalker so near. It surged across the room in restless movement. I looked beyond its evil appearance, trying to understand the movement. Why it was so agitated?
I focused again and realized it was fighting with something, rolling it in its massive paws. The creature snapped at the form and growled with a deafening sound that filled the large room. A second Nightstalker barged through the door, to help control the smaller creature, which was obviously much stronger than its size suggested. I tried to recognize what they were fighting with. It was difficult around the movement. I finally realized what I was seeing.
I gasped. I hadn’t thought anything could hurt him. I had thought him steel and metal, untouchable by evil. I was wrong.
The first creature reached out and slammed Daniel to the ground with a paw into his stomach. The sound of crunching bone danced across the space. Another swipe along his arm tore into his shirt. I cried out in pain as I watched Daniel’s blood, which was surprisingly silver, spill onto the expensive carpet.
Daniel stopped struggling when he heard my gasp, giving the second demon time to pin him down. He strained his neck to look at me, his eyes widening with fear. I tried to tell him not to give up fighting, but he was frozen with shock. The Nightstalker on top of him grunted happily, and its lips curled back in satisfaction over gleaming white teeth.
I took a step forward to help Daniel, to do anything, but Cobb stopped me with a hand on my arm. “You can do what I ask, and your friend dies peacefully, or you can refuse, and we make it more painful.”
Thomas walked over to Daniel and bent down. He reached out and grabbed Daniel’s hand. Daniel struggled with Thomas, but the Nightstalker on his chest pressed harder. I saw pain ignite the coolness of his green eyes. Daniel kept his hand shut and focused his eyes on me. Adrenaline and fear surged through my veins in response. I could shove Cobb off, but that wouldn’t stop the demons on top of Daniel. They would kill him before I could do anything – not that I could do much.
Thomas peeled back Daniel’s fingers and looked over at me playfully. He jerked one finger backward and the bone snapped. Daniel shut his eyes, mutely refusing to cry out. I realized what they were doing. Watchers still felt pain, even though they healed from most wounds. Daniel could still feel pain. They would make him hurt. They would torture him, until they got what they were after. Until they got my blood.
My blood pressure rose as Daniel reopened his eyes. His eyes pleaded with me to run. He told me to leave him and get out. The look tore at my heart. I couldn’t give in and let him die, but I couldn’t run either. I wouldn’t leave him to this.
“Choose, Clare,” the old man said.
Another pop of bone.
“Choose. It’s just a drop of blood.”
Another and another. Snap! Snap! I jumped with each pop.
Cobb’s sleepy drawl turned the blood in my veins to ice. “Choose…”
I focused on Daniel, absorbing his strong features. I ignored the way his hand was becoming unrecognizable and focused on the good things. I etched the perfect lines of his face into my brain. Was I saying goodbye? Was I trying to remember his features for later? Were we both about to die?
I had told him only last night that I would prefer to die fighting for a cause, fighting for the person I loved. If we were going to die, I would make sure I hurt someone first. I wouldn’t just go peacefully into the night. I would take someone with me.
My necklace started glowing. Cobb released my arm and jumped back as the light intensified. My anger crept towards the boiling point. I saw red.
Power surged into my body. I suddenly felt stronger than I ever had before. My body started to shake from the power. I knew I had to act to dispel the energy before I exploded.
Looking to my right, I saw Cobb. I didn’t understand what his part was in all this, but the others listened to him. He was a threat. I reached out and took hold of his throat, easily raising him off the ground. “Release, Daniel.”
“Gahhh!” he choked.
I looked over at Thomas. “Release him.”
My eyes trained on Thomas, I waited to see if he would do what I commanded. He didn’t move; he was frozen with surprise. A second that felt like eons passed. Cobb kept struggling, but his struggles barely registered against my newfound strength.
The first Nightstalker snarled at me, foamy drool falling from its mouth onto Daniel. It burned away his shirt and scorched his skin.  My jaw tightened in response. I shifted my focus as the second Nightstalker crept towards me, taking careful steps as it maneuvered closer.
“Stop,” I commanded. The Nightstalker kept moving, ignoring me. “Stop,” I repeated. 
This time I held my free hand up, palm out. The demon snarled in response. Feeling that I had given ample warning, I released the energy I had been restraining. Fire poured from my hand. It boiled out and completely engulfed the Nightstalker. My surprise at the act wasn’t enough to stop the fire. It lashed against the creature, tearing into its scaly flesh.
The demon thrashed madly around the space, running into furniture, its pain a harsh lament as it searched for a way to extinguish the fire. Its death-throes brought it too close. Running blindly, it barreled directly at me. With only seconds to react, I threw Cobb away, jumped to my left, and rolled. It ran over Cobb, crashed into a table, and collapsed. I found my feet again. Ignoring the dying demon and Cobb, I took another step towards Thomas – towards Daniel.
“Release him,” I said.
Thomas finally dropped Daniel’s hand and rose, his feet sliding into a defensive stance. He had finally caught up to the situation. I sensed him assessing me, looking for a weakness. I was doing the same, my brain working three steps ahead. He started edging to his right, away from Daniel and the other creature. I followed him with my eyes, keeping both him and the last Nightstalker within view. Daniel struggled feebly against the Nightstalker, but he didn’t rise. He had been beaten worse than I’d imagined. How much pain could he take?
Satisfied that he had me where he wanted me – between Satan’s spawn and Satan – Thomas stopped moving. I counted the seconds before he would attack me.
He started forward, his hand reaching for me, but stopped again just as quickly. His eyes widened as he stared past me to where the burning demon had stopped crashing into things. The smell of burnt, dead flesh was overwhelming, but Thomas wasn’t looking at the dead Nightstalker. He was looking at something much more frightening.
A deep, rumbling growl pierced my ears. I didn’t have to turn to know it was another Nightstalker. They had kept one in reserve. I was surrounded. The Nightstalker on top of Daniel responded with its own hair-raising growl. What now?
Without warning, the Nightstalker at the foot of the stairs launched itself across the room. But it wasn’t aiming for me or for Daniel. It was aiming for the demon on top of Daniel. It crashed into the Nightstalker pinning Daniel with the sound of two freight trains crashing in to one another. They rolled away from Daniel, fighting tooth and claw, gouging huge chunks of reptilian flesh from each other as they rolled across the floor. As odd as it was, I had an ally in the Nightstalker.
I returned my focus to Thomas. He was the main threat now. I leapt at him, trying to take advantage of his surprise. I went for his head, but he gracefully ducked out of reach. Although he didn’t react well to new situations, he was fast and agile. His eyes turned hard as I kicked at his knee, and I knew we were in a dance of death; only the best dancer would keep their life.
Thomas tried to capture me in his arms, but I danced out of his way – a tango to his box step. He pursued me across the room with kicks and punches, his blows turning increasingly deadly. I blocked his attacks with my forearms and knees, falling back on the karate Ellen had forced me to take years ago. Our dance took us around the room, destroying any furniture that wasn’t already broken. The room became a swirl of color and sound as we matched blow for blow, the world fading into the background as I fought to keep my life and protect Daniel’s. As we danced, I searched for a way through his guard. I sensed him doing the same to mine.
I found a flaw in his defense first. Thomas favored his left, which caused him to compensate by guarding his right too much. I started aiming for his left side, giving vent to a rapid set of moves that put him off balance. He tried to block, but I could see the fear begin to form in his face. He knew what was coming; probably more than I did.
I twisted his hand out of the way – a desperate punch at my gut – then jammed my hand towards his heart. Instead of the debilitating move I had intended, my hand punched through to his actual heart. I jerked back, tearing it from his chest, before I had time to stop myself.
Thomas looked at me in shock, all his hatred draining away. I stood there, holding his heart, which was dripping silver blood on to the expensive carpet, and stared into his eyes. What had I just done?  His knees buckled under him and he collapsed to the floor with a sigh, his regret his death mask.
I was motionless as the chaos surged around me. I heard the Nightstalkers fighting, furniture tearing, and flesh ripping. I heard someone yelling, but none of it registered. All the anger and power had drained out of me. I had killed. Twice. I was a murderer. I sat down heavily, the heart still in my hand.
It took me a moment to notice I was next to Sheriff Cobb. At first, I thought he was dead, but then he started coughing. He looked at me, blood running across his forehead. His thoughts were pain-filled and incoherent, his mental shield gone. His thoughts told me my throw, coupled with the Nightstalker’s charge, had hurt him bad.
“Just a drop of blood,” he pleaded. “Just a drop and I’ll live forever. I would be your greatest protector. You would live forever as my granddaughter. We would rule the world. We would stop the war and the killing. There would be peace forever. Just a drop given willingly…Please?”
He clutched at my arm, the arm holding Thomas’s heart. I cringed and leaned away from the fevered light in his eyes, more afraid of him then my fight with Thomas.
“For a drop of blood, you would ruin so many lives? You would hurt so many?”
I thought of Gavin Nichols and Ryan Holt. I thought of Amanda. I thought of the Adamses and Daniel. Cobb didn’t respond. I didn’t see how my blood would help him live forever, but I knew one thing. “You don’t deserve to live forever. You’ve proved that much.”
His hands dropped away from my arm, all the fire leaving his eyes. His voice was hardly a whisper, a ragged plea, “Just a drop? I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. Please, God, I’m scared to die. Please, God…” He never got to finish.
That made three. I had killed three.
The silver heart slipped from my limp hand. I started crying, unable to stop the remorse and guilt. I bent forward and cried a lament to the night and to my deeds. I couldn’t understand what had happened to make me so strong, so capable, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that I had killed. Three lives were gone because of me. I looked at the silver blood in my hands knowing I would never feel clean again. I cried harder, my head and chest pounding with the pain.
“Clare!”
The call swirled on the edge of my senses.
“Clare!”
It was no good. I was still lost.
“Clare! Answer me, damn it!”
Did I know that voice? Did I know that frustrated worry? It sounded familiar. My crying lessened a fraction as I tried to remember.
“Clare! Alex is hurt!”
I stopped crying at once and looked up. The room, which had been a cacophony of noise and confusion during the fighting, was silent. The lights were off, the room impossibly dark. Would this dark tomb be the place I stayed in forever lamenting the death of the three?
“I think she’s broken an arm! Please help…I can’t.”
The voice was tired but familiar. I crawled to the sound, needing it more than I needed air. That voice had the power to take the darkness away. I felt glass and wood cut into my hands and knees, tearing my jeans and skin with equal indifference. I ignored the stinging, desperate for an end to the pain crushing my chest. I heard two more snaps as I crawled to the sound of Daniel’s voice. I flinched, knowing what it meant; he had just reset his broken fingers. In the dark, my crawling felt as if I was going nowhere, as if I were in a black hole. I would never reach him. In a panic, I called out to him to tell me where he was, the tears still running down my face.
I felt a hand reach out and touch my neck. It was electrifying and wonderful, instantly calming. “I’m here,” he said.
“Are you okay?” I asked my throat hoarse from crying.
We had come so close. So close to losing everything.
“I’m fine. I just need a minute to heal. Are you okay?”
Not wanting to answer, I turned away from him and felt around for Alex. He had said she was hurt. I found her arm first. It was bent back at an awkward angle. Even though I had bumped into it, she didn’t cry out. I moved to check her pulse. As I did, I realized she was naked.
“Is there a blanket nearby?” I asked.
“Yes. But I can’t reach it.”
“Why not?”
“I’m waiting for my broken pelvis and back to heal.”
He said it so calmly. I swallowed around the lump in my throat.
“Oh…well... Where is it?”
“To your left…” he started directing me.
We managed to find a cover, which was more of a drape, and I went back to wrap it around Alex.
“What should we do next?” I asked.
“I need a couple more minutes,” Daniel said “Then we should leave and torch this place behind us. That’s the only way to make sure they stay dead.”
“You mean they could still be alive?” I asked hopefully.
Even though they were evil, I hated having their deaths on my hands.
“No. Not like that.”
“Like what then?” I demanded, not in the mood for vague hints.
“Ever seen a zombie movie?” he asked dryly.
“Yeah...”
He could tell I needed more of an answer. “Our regenerative abilities work even after our…our soul is gone. Our body still wants to heal, and acts as if it’s still alive, even though we’re gone.”
“Oh.” I glanced down at the dark shape that was Alex. “We need to get her to a hospital.” I caught up with the oddity of her being here. “Wait, how did she get here? And why is she naked? I don’t remember…” I trailed off.
I didn’t want to think about what had just happened. Not yet. He raised his unhurt hand and placed it on my neck. He grunted in pain with the effort. I moved his hand back to the floor and held it for a minute.
“I think I can carry Alex to the top of the stairs. Then I could come back for you,” I offered.
I was tired, more tired than I had been after sharing that first vision with Daniel, but for these two people, I could do anything.
“No. In a couple more minutes I should be okay.” He paused thoughtfully then continued, “There’s something from the vision we shared that I’ve been meaning to ask you about.”
Resigned that I would have to wait, I welcomed the distraction. “Yeah?”
“I saw you in a city somewhere. You were in a garden surrounded by wild flowers. You turned and looked at me, then you smiled like you’d never been happier. That’s all. You just smiled. What was that about?”
I frowned. “Nothing. I don’t remember the memory. How old did I look?”
“Like you do now.”
“Maybe you were seeing the future or something.”
“I don’t think I was,” he said. “I can only see things that you experienced.”
“Maybe it was a dream,” I suggested.
“Maybe.”
“You don’t sound very sure.”
“With you, I am sure of nothing,” he said.
In the long moment of silence that followed, I worked furiously to block out what I had just done.
“Clare?” Daniel’s voice was thick with emotion.
“Hm?”
“It gets better. It doesn’t get easier….just less painful.” My heart caught. “And I promise I’ll be here no matter what. Whatever you need. Just remember that I’ve been through it as well.”
I struggled with the proper response.
Finally healed, Daniel stood up. He reached down and pulled me up. “Don’t say anything. Just know I’m here. And, Clare?”  I had turned away to pick Alex up. He put a hand on my neck. “Thanks for saving my life.”
I shrugged, wanting to downplay what I had done. Was this how he felt all the time? I had no idea how to put words to all the emotions I had felt when saving him.  “Call it even?”
Daniel’s laughter was bliss. It echoed around the tomb, bringing life back to my senses. Laughter and light were possible in the darkness I was experiencing!
“Deal.”
Daniel picked Alex up and cradled her gently in his arms, careful to touch nothing but the drape. Together, we walked up the stairs, putting the room behind us.


Chapter 20


Smoke drifted past my face. A lazy wind moved the smoke along, disturbing my hair with its hazy fog and making me smell of cheap wine and demon dog. I leaned against a poplar tree and watched the building burn, knowing all the once-beautiful furniture would make good tender.
Once we had reached the surface, Daniel had set the building on fire using wine from Cobb’s feast and a lighter he had in his pocket; one he said he always carried. Then he had called the others to meet us. Our first priority had been to get Alex to the hospital. She hadn’t stirred at all since we’d brought her out. Jackson had volunteered to drive her, wanting to check on Margaret, who was taking Amanda to the hospital. They had found Amanda shivering and hypothermic, but alive. She would live. It was something good in a night filled with bad.
Beatrice explained how they had been confused by images of Amanda and me being taken away in a variety of directions. Apparently the woman Seeker, whom Daniel and I had found torn to pieces when we’d come outside, had a gift for illusion. Finding Amanda had been pure luck…or fate. I was starting to warm to the idea.
After we had played catch up, Beatrice and Daniel started arguing about what to do with me.  I listened to the argument without joining in.  “I don’t care what you say,” Daniel said forcefully. “She’s not getting tests done on her right now.”
“We need to study her and find out what caused her to act like that,” Beatrice replied.
“She’s not a lab rat to be studied!” he snapped.
“A lot happened down there. We need to understand what, so we know how to proceed. With tests we can get answers,” Beatrice said calmly. “Besides, there’s nothing else we can do here.” She gestured at the burning structure.
I didn’t care what they were saying. My thoughts were with the people whose existence was being erased from the earth at this very moment. All but Amanda’s father. I had made Daniel retrieve the head and look for the rest of the body. Despite the fact that he had tried to kill me – I still didn’t understand how he had created the fireball or turned invisible – I felt sorry for him. A part of me loathed him, but his last act had been to try to protect Amanda. That counted for something.
I looked up at the night sky, where the moon was starting to shine brilliantly, the rains having passed with Margaret’s rage. A million stars danced like diamonds on the horizon. That was good. I started counting stars and waited for Daniel and Beatrice to stop arguing. It took them a while. They were surprisingly chatty when they disagreed on using me for a lab rat.
I finally felt a hand on my cheek and I looked back down to the earth. Although I had lost count of the stars, their presence had helped in another way. They didn’t accuse me of being a murderer, they didn’t judge me for what had happened – they simply existed. They would continue to exist without judgment, without malice long after I was gone. I needed that kind of affirmation. Looking into Daniel’s eyes, I was soothed in yet another way. He was okay. Whatever else I was guilty of, he was okay.
“We’re going to go somewhere to talk.” His face hardened, and I knew he had compromised. “Then…then I think we should go back to my house for some tests. But only if you agree to them.”
“I don’t mind tests, not if they mean answers,” I told him.  Feeling a bit distant from everything, I reached out to touch his face to find myself again. As I moved, I realized I wasn’t tired physically. I felt wonderful physically. All my exhaustion was mental. “But I need to call Ellen.”
I couldn’t even begin to think how I would explain to her what had happened.
“Beatrice is going to call her. If she still wants to talk to us, she can call. Beatrice will give her the number.” He held up his phone.
“Okay.”
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded mutely.
Jackson had commandeered Cassandra’s SUV to take Alex to the hospital, so we climbed on his abandoned motorcycle. The black and silver bike roared to life under Daniel’s able touch. We left Beatrice to wait for Jackson’s return and guard Mr. Nichols. Her eyes were thoughtful as she watched the building burn. I sensed her contemplating the tests she would run on me and what the night meant for the future of her family. I put my head against Daniel’s back, and turned my eyes to the front and what lay ahead.
Daniel drove fast, but was more careful with me on the back than Margaret had been. I held him tightly as we bumped down the uneven trail, the forest passing in a blur. I shut my eyes, enjoying the rush of movement again. It was a different enjoyment now. It was affirmation I was still here, that the night hadn’t seen my death.
I wasn’t aware of it when we stopped. Somewhere along the way, I had started crying again. At least this time I wasn’t gasping for breath and debilitated by guilt. Daniel turned off the motorcycle and helped me off. We walked a short distance then he sat and wrapped me in his arms. He whispered words of comfort in my ear and rocked me gently. His calm and understanding helped me regain my composure again. I sat up and wiped the tears away.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
“Not right now.”
“I…” He was interrupted by the ringing phone. He answered curtly, irritated by the interruption. The conversation was brief, but upsetting. His face melted from irritation to shock. He hung up with a sharp click.
“What?”
“Alex is better. Frightened, depressed, and a little out of it, but otherwise unhurt.” He let that sink in for a moment.
“That’s impossible!” I exclaimed.
“After the night we’ve had, I’d say nothing is impossible.”
No kidding.
“But how did she even get to the bunker? Why was she naked? Why was she hurt? How could she heal like that?” I demanded, thinking that if I could understand her situation then I could understand everything.
“Well…”
He bit his lip, and I was startled by the uncertainty. It made him look more vulnerable than when Thomas had been torturing him. We stared at each other. I could see him trying to decide what to say. I waited, hoping he would opt for the truth.
“She was the demon near the stairs before you fought Thomas. Somehow, she managed to change into one of them then change back when the danger was over.”
I pushed away from him and stood, an idea forming in my head. I knew. I understood what they were all after. It made sense. The epiphany had me pacing with nervous energy. Poor Alex! I had brought my world crashing down onto her head!
“That’s what they wanted! Holy Crap! Do you know what it means?”
“No, I don’t, actually,” Daniel said.
“Alex and I shared out blood tonight. We became blood sisters. I think that’s what Cobb wanted. He kept begging for me to give him my blood willingly. Something about me giving it willingly matters.” I waved my hand, trying to clear the air of his dying plea. “But it changed her. Don’t you see? It made her…” My hand went to my mouth in horror as I realized what I had done. “Oh God! I turned her into a Nightstalker! That’s why they’re after me! I can turn people into demons!”
Daniel moved to stand in front of me. He put his hands on either side of my face. I remembered the sound the bones had made when they were being snapped. All because of me. The panic was overwhelming. My mouth moved without proper words forming.
“Edgar Allan Poe was an overrated hack with mental issues.”
“He was not!”
He laughed at my indignation, his eyes sparkling. I rolled my eyes, realizing what he had done.  He took advantage of my less panicked state. “Look at the bright side. We now know what they’re after – your blood. We know that it can change people. I don’t understand the business of her turning into a demon, but at least we have one answer.”
One answer out of a whole hailstorm of questions.
“But what happened with… me?”
“I don’t know, but I promise we’ll figure this out. A hunt as big as this one has to be all over the map. People will have heard about this. With a few phone calls, I might be able to get some answers.”
“Other Watchers? They’ll know about me?”
“Yes. Information travels fast in our world. Even those not involved in the war, hear about things that effect it,” he said.
“Won’t that make it more dangerous…for everyone? I could go…”
I was back to running.
His hands slid from my face and gripped my shoulders. He fought the urge to shake me again. “No! Absolutely not!”  I leaned away from him, startled at his vehemence. “You pride yourself on your strength, correct? You think of that strength as the one great asset you have that no one can take. Take away all the variables, all the dangers, and what is the strongest thing you can think to do?”
“Fighting to protect the ones I love,” I answered sullenly. He had trapped me. He had obviously also seen more in our joining than I had thought. I didn’t want to think about how much.
His lips lifted into a satisfied smile. “I’m glad you see the light. Now, come over here and sit down.”
Daniel turned gracefully and sat down on our rock. He laid back and waited for me to join him. Looking past him, I saw we were at a lake; beautiful, dark water lapped lazily against the edge of our rock, which overhung the water. The dull roar I had sensed, but had been too worked up to fully notice, was coming from a waterfall on the opposite side. The waterfall was laughing happily from the moonlight playing across it as it streamed into the dark lake. Dark trees surrounding the water only heightened the beauty of the spot. The full moon looked very big here, almost as if I could reach out and touch it. There was a sense of utter stillness in the air. I felt if I concentrated hard enough I could connect with every other living thing in the universe. I laid down feeling a curious sense of déjà vu.
After a moment, I asked, “What does this mean for Alex?”
He ran his thumb over my hand he had claimed and said thoughtfully, “I honestly don’t know. I’m not even sure how she’s able to move between the Nightstalker and her human self. After we change, we stay changed. It’s part of our curse. She shouldn’t be able to just transcend that barrier.”
I thought about it. “Maybe, it has something to do with me?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just a feeling, but I think I may have given her a part of myself. Maybe, my talent includes being able to change shapes or something?”
He thought about it. “Maybe. But how did you create that fire? How can you do any of this before the change?”
“Good point. I don’t know. You know what that fire was like, right?”
“Yes.”
Neither of us had to say it aloud: The fire at the pool.
“I think Gavin Nichols had my blood. I think they were giving it to him, but I don’t think it was working very well. I think he wasn’t really trying to figure out how to capture me, but how to get me to give my blood to them willingly. I doubt Mr. Nichols knew it was my blood that made him able to create fires and turn invisible and stuff.”
“But how did they have your blood in the first place?” he asked.
“Ellen.”
It instantly clicked for him. “The attack.”
“Yes.” I shook my head, frustrated. “I don’t get why I have to give it willingly, though. That doesn’t make any sense. What am I saying? None of this makes sense.”
He started laughing. I made a face at him. “I’m sorry it’s just…I knew from the day I met you, you were different. I just didn’t know how different. This explains so much, even if it explains so little.”
“It also doesn’t explain how they knew my blood was capable of turning people.”
He shifted uncomfortably. “No…it doesn’t.”
We were silent for a long minute lost in our separate thoughts. I assumed Daniel was going over what he had witnessed in the cellar. I certainly was. I replayed what had happened before I’d lost my mind and went super-Rambo. My thoughts kept returning to the people I had killed. Thomas’s expression when he died flashed in front of my eyes over and over again. It was the death that felt the most personal.
“How’d they capture you anyway?” I asked not wanting to think about Thomas anymore.
“The woman made it look like she had captured you and was running off. I gave chase and we fought. I underestimated their strength, though. They overwhelmed me.”
He picked up a small pebble, and chucked it into the dark water, disturbing the dark, liquid surface. His agitation at the memory was obvious.
“It took three of them?”
“Yep.”
I smiled slyly, a thought occurring. “You’re not embarrassed that a girl saved your angelic butt, are you? Especially the girl who happens to be your…girlfriend.”
His face was full of macho superiority. “Of course not. But I would have gotten us out of there eventually.”
“In pieces,” I muttered. “They’ll come again won’t they? This isn’t the end of it.”
He sighed like Atlas shouldering the world. “Yes. A marker of our kind is our resilience and determination. Beyond that…I know Marcus will send others. He does not give up easily. You mean a lot of money if he can sell you. That is also something he does not give up easily.”
“You sound like you know him personally.”
“I do.” His admission wasn’t encouragement. I could tell he didn’t want to talk about it. I wasn’t in the mood to push him.
More would come. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my days fighting, but I knew I would if it meant having the things I wanted…like Daniel. Did that make me selfish? I sighed and shook my head. That was a question for another night.
“Before we go to your house, can we run by Alex’s? I want to make sure she’s okay.”
And that she didn’t hate me for what I had inadvertently done to her.
“Of course.” He sounded glad for the excuse.
I looked out at the lake wondering if I had lost Alex as a friend. I wondered how Amanda would cope, and what would become of me, the killer. I looked down at my soiled clothes feeling dirty for a million reasons. I wouldn’t feel better for a long time, but right now, I really wanted to be clean, to wash away the silver blood that was encrusted on my skin, hair, and clothes. I needed to wash away the night. I stood abruptly and kicked off my shoes then peeled away the socks that were already drenched from my dive into the river. I started on my shirt.
“What are you doing?” Daniel asked nervously as he watched me strip.
“Shut your eyes and don’t you dare peek,” I warned. I didn’t care that he was there. The desire to be clean, to get the blood off me was too overpowering.
“Clare…” he started, then he slapped his hand over his eyes as I peeled away my shirt.
I started laughing at the expression on his face. It was nice to know I could make him so jittery. Nice, because he spent all his time doing that to me.
I went to the edge of the large rock we were sitting on and dove into the water with a clean slice. The water was breathtakingly cold. But, I felt better. Cleansed. I treaded water and scrubbed at my arms and neck to wash the blood away. Without any soap, it was tough, but it came off, little by little, exposing my pale skin.
When I was done with my cleansing, I floated on my back and stared up at the moon. Long moments passed where the only things I was aware of were the sound of my heart beating, the crickets chirping, and the moon hanging low in the sky.
“I just realized something,” I called to out to Daniel as I stared at the sky.
“Can I open my eyes now?” he asked, his voice laced with laughter.
“Nope. I just realized that the answers we’re looking for don’t matter nearly as much as moments like these. All the bad stuff…” I held my arms up toward the moon, trying to embrace her, “can’t compare to this.”
I heard an unexpected splash come from the direction of the rock. I swallowed water as I dunked beneath the surface to hide my body. Daniel came towards me doing a slow breaststroke his eyes playful.
With everything but my head beneath the water I said, “What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Swimming.”
“This is my lake,” I said.
“You can’t own a lake.”
“Well, just stay over there. That’s your side. This is my side.”
Ignoring me, he swam right up, his bare chest reflecting the light of the moon. “You’re right. It’s moments like these that matter. Everything else…peripheral.” He touched my neck, cupping it gently. “And Clare?” I looked at him questioningly. “I totally peeked at you.”
“That’s because you’re a cheater.”
“No one is perfect.”
I rolled my eyes. Then, because he was so conveniently close, I kissed him. He felt great, solid and real, continuity in a life that felt like it was being overrun by too much random weirdness.
I broke away from him, all too aware of how easy kissing him was, how easily getting lost in the moment would be. Now wasn’t the time for that…not when I was so emotional and confused.
Feeling slightly awkward with the emotions pounding inside my chest, I shoved Daniel under the water and swam towards the waterfall, daring him to catch up. Laughing, we raced each other there, not as half-angels, not as murderers, but as two people embracing the moment.
We tied.


Epilogue


There’s something about funerals I hate. Beyond the dead bodies, I mean. What made this one worse was the fact that Amanda was angry, hurt, and only there because her aunt had forced her to come. You didn’t have to be a mind reader to see it. It was written on her face and every impatient shift of her body.
Daniel had his arm draped around my shoulders as we walked across the spongy ground towards his car. The sun, which had finally broken the pallor of winter’s grip, beat down at us warmly. A trickle of sweat rolled down my back as I walked. It was the first day I hadn’t had to wear Daniel’s jacket. Spring was here at last.
Amanda walked with her Aunt Colleen two or three people ahead of us, the pastor finally releasing us from his droning monologue. Her head was bowed as she struggled with overwhelming emotions; emotions she couldn’t make heads or tails of. I could clearly hear her thoughts over everyone else. They were too loud and too angry to ignore.  I knew what I had to do. I had been contemplating it ever since we arrived.
I stopped Daniel and Alex, who was walking with us.
Alex not only forgave me for changing her into a Nightstalker, but was handling the whole thing stoically. She’d said a part of her had known the possible consequences and hadn’t cared. She couldn’t remember much beyond feeling called to the bunker and the overwhelming rage, but she knew she was glad to have helped. She was an amazing friend. One I was glad to have.
“I need to talk to Amanda…do you mind?” I asked as I faced them.
Daniel smiled and shook his head. His green eyes told me he knew what I was doing. “We’ll wait by the car.”
Alex looked at Ellen and Sam, who were talking to a short man standing near the casket. When they walked away from the man – through the gravestones and deeper into the cemetery – Sam’s hand rested on the small of Ellen’s back. I watched them, sensing that Ellen wanted to pay her respects to my grandfather. Although Ellen’s face was solemn with the idea of what she was about to do, she was glowing at Sam’s touch.  “Actually, I need to talk to Dad about something before he leaves,” Alex said.
“You need money for clothes for your date.” I smirked.
Davis had finally gotten up the nerve to ask Alex out. With everything that had happened, that simple act had given me the most hope. Life wasn’t all about pain and heartbreak, it was about the little things, like a boy finding the courage to ask a girl out.
“When don’t I need money for clothes?” Alex asked with a smile.
“When you’re asleep, I suppose,” I said.
“Not always,” she said.
She waved a brief goodbye and hurried to catch up with Sam before he got too far away. I kissed Daniel on the cheek and ran to catch up with Amanda in the other direction.
“Amanda!”
Amanda and her aunt turned at the call. The pair was almost carbon copies of each other, the only difference being that Amanda had dark brown eyes and Colleen’s were blue. Colleen was dressed in an expensive-looking suit that matched her salon-styled hair perfectly. I remembered hearing that she was a big book editor in New York City. Despite having a no-nonsense face, and a keen knack for business, her thoughts told me she was compassionate, a feeler, totally opposite from her brother.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” I asked Amanda, catching a curious glance from the aunt.
Amanda was still rather pale from her near-death experience. The way she had looked at the bottom of the river flashed in front of my eyes. It made it hard to look at her, but I kept my eyes trained on her dark eyes, knowing I had to tell her the truth. She had to know that the reason for her anger wasn’t as justified as she thought.
Her first thought was angry. Someone else who didn’t know how bad a person he was telling me they’re sorry.  Sadness, guilt, and gratitude swept over her as she remembered what I had done for her…how I had also kept her suicide attempt to myself and not spread it to the school. Her eyes softened. But for her, I’ll endure the platitudes. “Sure.”
I pulled her out of her aunt’s range of hearing. “How are you feeling?” I asked.
“Oh…okay…you know…” She shrugged, uncomfortable.
“Good…” There was a moment of awkward silence before I blurted out the reason I had stopped her. “I don’t know how much you really know about how your father died…”
Her eyes grew wide, not expecting that. “It was an animal attack. That’s what Chuck said.”
“Not…not exactly. I can’t go into details, but he was helping out some people who weren’t very nice.”
Figures. Must have been that creepy man who kept coming around.
Slightly startled by the vision of Thomas she had forced on me, I continued, “The whole story doesn’t matter, what matters is that at the end he was trying to save you. The bad people were using your suicide attempt as a way to draw…others out, and your father didn’t want any part of that. He tried to stop them, and they killed him for it. His last act was to try and save you.”
I don’t believe her!  “How could you possibly know that?” she demanded. Her brown eyes burned into mine. Their intensity reminded me of Sheriff Cobb.
“I just do. It’s the truth.”
Amanda looked at me skeptically. I kept my eyes on hers, facing her skepticism with stubborn determination. It was important she believe. I heard her thoughts fight their way to the conclusion I was telling her the truth. Maybe, subconsciously, she realized I had powers beyond the normal, or maybe she wanted to be able to believe in her dad again. Either way, her eyes filled with tears.
“You’re not lying to me, are you?” she pleaded.
“I swear to you on my mother’s life, on my life, I’m not.”
“I…My father wasn’t a good man. Nothing will change that fact, but…thank you for telling me.” She hesitated. “And thank you for saving me. There are things I still need to work out but…you’ve given me so much.”
She hugged me, startling me with the action. She would never forgive her father for the things he had done to her, the abuse he had inflicted, but she had the knowledge that, even for a brief moment, he had loved her enough to die for her. I figured a person could go far with that kind of knowledge. She released me, her sadness taking away her voice, and walked over to her aunt, who was waiting by the car. I watched her walk, thinking over her future.
She would be moving to New York as soon as all the arrangements were done – a move that provided her with new opportunities and endless possibilities. I hoped her future would be better than what her past had given her.
Daniel appeared at my side and took my hand. We walked to the car. “That was a very kind thing you just did,” he said.
“It was the truth.”
“It was kind all the same.”
He smiled at me, his eyes impossibly soft. He opened my door, and I slid in as he walked around to join me. I watched him walk, feeling strangely happy, as if a weight had lifted off me. We didn’t have the results from all the tests Beatrice and Han had done. We didn’t know what my future held, or what kind of creature I was, but we had each other. I figured, like Amanda, I could go far with that.
“Would it be inappropriate for me to tell you how amazing you look?” he asked, starting the Audi and maneuvering around the parked cars.
“Yes,” I said, looking at the black dress, heels and jewelry Alex had forced on me.
“I won’t say it, then.”
“That qualifies as saying it,” I retorted.
“I was never one for the appropriate.”
“That’s the truth…” I turned to talk to Alex, but the backseat was empty. I looked at the side of his face questioningly. “Did we ditch Alex?”
“No. She left with Sam and Ellen. They’re going out to lunch…I asked her if we could be alone for a little while because I have a surprise.”
“What surprise?”
He laughed. “You can’t ask about it in that demanding tone, Clare. It won’t make me tell you what it is.”
I made a face.  “Do you think she’ll recover?”
“You or Amanda?” he asked pointedly.
“Don’t start.”
He thought about his answer. “I tried to look through all the possibilities, as much as I could, and I feel like Amanda is going to flourish in New York. It’ll be good for her.”
“I hope so.”
He made another turn and I realized we were headed towards his house. I hoped his surprise didn’t involve needles. I couldn’t handle any more of those. They had been my mainstay for the past two days. Oddly enough, though, his place had become my refuge. Even though the tests happened there, it was the one place that was unassailable. It was my castle in the woods.
“Clare…I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“What?”
“When’s your birthday?”
I stared at him, peeling my eyes away from the trees, which were encroaching on the road as we drove up his mountain. We had been trying to keep the weird things at bay, concentrating on being together as a couple, but I knew in spite of that, or maybe, because of it, that the weird things couldn’t be put off forever. My throat was suddenly dry. Did my birthday even mean anything anymore? Did it matter that I would turn seventeen? I thought I had jumped that barrier when I had killed.
“October 31st.  Why?”
“Halloween?” He laughed. “That’s awesome.”
“Why?” I asked again.
“I want to get you a present of course. Something special. You only turn seventeen once.” He thought about my age for a moment. “You skipped a grade didn’t you?”
Ignoring his question I asked, “Are you sure you’re not asking because you’re wondering if it’ll have any effect on what I can do? Or how much time we have before they come looking for me again?”
“Nope,” he said.
“No, you’re not sure, or no, you’re not?”
“No.”
We drove past an old well house, which reminded me of the cellar I had fought Thomas in. My heart started pounding at the memory. Cobb’s desperate eyes filled my thoughts. “Do you ever stop thinking about them?” I asked quietly.
His lips hardened, and his eyes grew distant. He knew I meant the deaths I had caused.  “Only when I’m around you. When I’m alone…well, that’s another story. So, no. They never really leave you.”
“I’m afraid because…because….”
“A part of you enjoyed it? You felt righteous when they died?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“I’m not going to gloss over the fact that you killed them, or downplay your role in that, because I know you don’t want me to, and because you wouldn’t listen. I’ve been there. But I will say this. You didn’t kill them in cold blood, Clare. You killed people who were threatening your life and my life. It wasn’t a vengeful slaying. You did take those lives, but you took them because you had no other choice. That’s what distinguishes us from them. We kill when there is no other choice.”
“But a part of me…” I began.
“That’s the part of you that you have to always look at honestly. Keep it to the front of your brain. It will help you know when it’s time to defend yourself or when you are closing in on the boundary of wanton murder.”
“I feel so weak, and vulnerable, and bad, all at the same time.”
I was getting better at sharing the darkest parts of me, at coming clean about my weaknesses. Daniel was very understanding.  He’d been through so much in his long years that he didn’t judge me for whatever I said, and that helped.
“You’re the opposite of bad and the epitome of strength. But, it’s okay to feel that way. When I first killed…I felt the same way. Worse actually.”
“Only you didn’t have you for comfort,” I said, realizing how much support I really had.
“I did have me. That was part of the problem,” he said.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes. If I’d had you, I would have…” he trailed off, his eyes wistful.
I reached over and took his hand. You have me now.
He squeezed my hand then released it, so he could push the button on his visor. Through the windshield, I saw we were at the black gates to his house. The tires of the car crunched into the gravel as we circled up to the house and parked near the broad front stairs. He helped me out of the car and we walked up the stairs together. When he shoved the front door open, I got chills.
“Why do you look like we’re stepping into a house laced with explosives?”
“It’s too quiet. Where is everyone?” I tugged at my dress nervously.
“I asked them to leave for a couple of hours so we could have some privacy.”
“For the surprise?”
“Yes.” His eyes danced with laughter, the seriousness of our prior conversation gone or suppressed.
He pulled me to the stairs to get me walking. We made our way along the stone steps and through another hall, past the library, the home theater on the second floor, and up two more floors of his massive house. Why did this surprise entail climbing all the way to the top of the house? He finally stopped at the bottom of a small set of metal stairs that spiraled up.
“This is my room,” he said. “I want you to shut your eyes.”
“How will I walk up the stairs with my eyes shut?” I said warily. I was hedging a bit, wondering why he was acting so secretive.
“I’ll carry you. Just shut your eyes.”
I clamped my hand over my eyes as verification that I wasn’t peeking. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I was laughing by the time he set me back down.
“Okay. Just one more second.” He checked my hand was still in place.
I heard movement and something being set down. “Can I open them now?”
“Yes.”
I took my hand away. Daniel’s room was circular, the walls made out of glass. I felt, as I turned a complete 360 degrees, like I was in a tower; a tower that was half tree house. The furniture was simple and light, designed for comfort rather than show. I could see Daniel staying up here, finding solace in a life that I knew was full of danger. I could see him reading for hours in the chair by the small fireplace, his strong hands turning the pages as the light danced on his face. Looking at the worn places where books had sat, I knew he had cleaned specifically for this moment. I wished he hadn’t. I’d have liked to see it without the changes.
“This is beautiful,” I said.
“Thanks.” He made an odd throat-clearing noise and I turned to face him. That’s when I noticed what he was standing next to. I felt my stomach fill with butterflies. Surely, he hadn’t? “Do you remember saying that you wanted me to have a sap story about the first guitar I bought?”
Oh, God…he had.
He reached out and stroked the mahogany guitar I had fallen in love with so many weeks ago. It made a pristine sound as his fingers strummed across the strings. “I figured there couldn’t be anything more sap ridden than the story I’m about to tell…I bought this guitar after running into a very beautiful, amazing woman in a music store. Admittedly, I ran into that woman after searching for her all over town because I wanted to talk to her again. I bought this the next day, thinking that if I did I could have a part of her near whenever I couldn’t be around her. But I couldn’t play it. I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself.”
He picked up the guitar and held it out for me to take. I stared at him, a dozen reasons for not taking it formed in my mind.  The first reason was the most obvious one. “Do you have any idea what this costs?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” He stepped closer and forced the guitar into my hands. “When someone who loves you buys you something, it’s not an obligation, Clare. It’s an extension of that love. Besides, I bought it for me originally. You’re getting it secondhand.”
I started laughing. “You knew you would get me with that sap story, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Was it real?”
“Absolutely. I bought it from Martha the morning of our first car lesson.”
“Don’t tell me, you have a tattoo on your wrist as well,” I joked.
Daniel unbuttoned his white dress shirt and held up his wrist. He showed me a small track of writing. “I got this after my first…death. A reminder. It’s his name in Arabic.”
“Why Arabic?”
“Because that was the language he spoke.”
“Oh.”
I looked down at the guitar as an idea formed. “Sit down,” I told him.
He crossed his arms, stuck out his jaw, and did his best impersonation of me. “I don’t like to be bossed around.”
“Oh, hush. Just do as you’re told.”
He bowed extravagantly then went and sat in the comfortable chair near the fire, the one I had imagined him in. Pulling the chair across from him closer, I sat as well. Running through my memory bank of memorized songs, I settled on one he had told me he liked. I started playing, “Tears in Heaven,” by Eric Clapton. My fingers were uncertain at first, but they gained confidence as the notes flowed out the way they were intended. I started to sing along as my confidence grew. His expression transformed from surprise to awe. I smiled around my singing, glad I hadn’t disappointed him.
I realized something as I played. I wouldn’t be a victim again. I would learn to control what was happening to me. I would find answers. I would fight back.
Because what I had was worth fighting for.