The Monster Hunting Agency Casebook Part 1
by
Tim Jousma
Published by the Tim Jousma Media Empire
The Monster Hunting Agency Casebook Part 1
Copyright 2011 by Tim Jousma
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.
This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If
you would like to share this book with another person, please
purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading
this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for
your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and
purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard
work of this author.
**********
Author's Note
Children have dealt with monsters since the beginning of time. My children have been no different. When my eldest son first started talking about the monsters he dealt with in his dreams I was at a loss in how to help him out. As an adult, I obviously knew that as a kid, he had an active imagination. What child doesn't? But how could I logically tell a kid that the monsters he dealt with in his dreams were figments of his imagination when those figments were causing him such fear?
The answer was a story. I thought that if I created a story where he was able to defeat the monsters that scared him, he'd be able to live vicariously through the character I created and have some courage when he dealt with his own monsters. In my kids case, it worked.
I hope you enjoy the first three cases of the Monster Hunting Agency. Once you're finished reading, feel free to head over to my website, TimJousma.com, and send me your thoughts on the stories. Any writer telling you that what they write is perfection denied is a fool. So any thoughts or critiques you have will help in the further shaping of these stories and the continued adventures once they come out. Above all, enjoy.
**********
Case 1-The Bath Tub Monster
Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. They range from short little furry creatures with razor sharp teeth to huge monsters dozens of feet tall with roars that could make a grown man cry like a little girl. That’s where I come in. My name is Izaak and I hunt monsters.
I was working the day shift at the Monster Hunting Agency when the phone on my desk rang. It was my secretary.
“Izaak, I have a Miss Allie Pettigrew in the office wishing to speak with you about a monster in her house.”
“Thank you. Send her in.”
After a moment, the door to my office opened and a girl who looked to be eight years old stepped in. She had blond, curly hair, a pink shirt covered in hearts, and blue jeans with frilly bell bottoms. I rose to shake her hand, offering her a seat.
“Thanks for coming in,” I said. “Tell me what brings you here today.”
“I’ve been scared to take a bath. Every time I get close to the tub I hear a noise coming from the drain. I don’t want to go in there if something wants to pull me down the drain and hurt me.” Allie started to sob.
I rose from my desk and walked over to her, placing my hand on her shoulder.
“It’s ok,” I said. “I’ve been in your shoes before. But one day I decided I wouldn’t let the monsters scare me anymore so I decided to fight. Can you tell me a little about this monster?”
“Well, it sounds like a big cat. He just roars every time I get close to the tub. Then I see these arms come out of the drain that look like an octopus arms. I think they’re trying to reach for me.”
“Alright, leave your address with my secretary and I’ll be by your home tonight to check things out.”
“Thank you so much.”
Allie rose and left. I headed over to my bookshelf, pushing a button located secretly behind my display of Lego’s. The bookshelf slid open, revealing a fireman’s pole. I hopped on the pole and slid down. At the bottom, I walked out into the labs of the Monster Hunting Agency. There to meet me was my partner Clyde Roman.
“Clyde, let’s head over to the utility room. We’ve got a monster sighting and I need to get the right tools for the job.”
“Nice.”
We headed to the utility room. Clyde opened the door and turned the light on. The room was cavernous, filled with shelf after shelf of tools that could be gathered together when on a job.
“So what kind of monster are we looking at?” Clyde asked.
“From the vague description I got from the girl it appears to be a class M creature, a bathtub monster. I need to get some tools together that’ll help me confront this thing and determine what its purpose is.”
“I see.” Clyde led me to a particular shelf and pulled down two spray canisters.
“We just got this shipped in from Finland. Premium monster spray, guaranteed to drive away even the scariest monster ever.”
He pulled another item off the shelf. “This is a high tech, multi-colored flashlight fresh in from our friends at the CIA. Basically it’s an expensive kaleidoscope. But as we both know, monsters react to light differently. The bad ones run away as fast they can while the good ones are attracted by the light and show their true colors so to speak. And you mentioned this was a bathroom monster?”
“Yeah.”
“Then follow me.”
He led me down a long row of shelves that had various monster fighting items my team had used through the years. We arrived at a shelf that was bare apart from two gumdrops, one colored red and the other colored blue. He picked them up with the delicacy of someone picking up an antique.
“These are very special gumdrops my friend. The blue gumdrop will shrink you down allowing you to get into the drain and into the monster’s lair. The red gumdrop will be used when you’re out of the drain so you can go back to normal size. Whatever you do, do not lose these.”
Clyde took a special case sitting next to the gumdrops, placed them inside, and handed them to me. I slipped them into my pocket.
“Well let’s get my gear together and head over to Miss Pettigrew’s house. We got a monster to stop.”
“You’re going to need one more thing,” Clyde said.
Clyde led me to the final shelf. I knew what was waiting there. Clyde grabbed the item and handed it to me. They were the coolest pair of sunglasses a guy could have. And they had the added benefit of being able to spot monsters with a built in infrared sensor. I put them on.
“Do I look cool?”
Clyde smiled. “Yeah.”
“Then let’s collect our gear and go.”
**********
We arrived at Allie’s house around seven o’clock, around the time she said her parents made her take a bath. I knocked on her door. Within a few moments, her Mother answered.
“Hello. May I help you boys?”
“Good evening ma’am. My name is Izaak and this is my partner Clyde. We’re here from the Monster Hunting Agency.” We showed her our badges.
“My goodness. Allie told me you would be stopping over tonight but I never realized you’d be so young.”
“Ma’am, monsters only affects children so children can be the only ones to beat them. Can you take us to your bathroom please?”
Mrs. Pettigrew led us to the bathroom. “Now ma’am, we need this area clear to do our work,” I said.
Mrs. Pettigrew left Clyde and me to do our job. Clyde set his bag down and took out the equipment. I put on the infrared sunglasses, strapped on the kaleidoscope flashlight onto my belt, and put two monster spray canisters into their holsters. I pulled the case with the gumdrops out of my pocket. Before I stepped into the bathroom, Clyde put his hand on my shoulder.
“There’s one more thing you’ll need that I forgot to mention.” He handed me an earpiece. “I’ll not only be able to communicate with you, you’ll be able to use this as a universal communicator. You’ll be able to understand everything the monsters are saying.”
“Thanks,” I said, putting the earpiece in my ear. I entered the bathroom.
The bathroom smelled of pine cleaner. To my right was the sink and bathroom mirror. The toilet was to the left of the sink. The tub was straight ahead.
I stepped into the tub and took the box of candies out of my pocket. I opened it, taking the blue candy out. After putting the box back into my pocket, I popped the blue candy into my mouth and swallowed it. It took a moment for the candy to take effect. The shrinking was quite a shock to get used to but I finally got my bearings. I headed for the drain and jumped in.
The drain was like a slide, a water slide that was drenching wet no matter where I touched. Just as I thought it wouldn’t end, I landed on a slimy metal floor. I rose, adjusting my glasses to see in the dark.
“Are you in yet boss?” Clyde asked.
“Copy that. I’m just waiting for my eyesight to adjust then I’ll start my search.”
I took out my flashlight and turned it on. I appeared to be in a building the size of a warehouse. At the other end of the room was a door. I headed there, being as that was the only exit.
Once I walked through the door, I heard a roar. But thanks to the universal communicator I understood what was said. And it scared me a little. The voice said “I hear a noise.”
Someone knew I was here. I pulled out one of my squirt canisters and headed toward the voice.
“To whoever just spoke, my name is Izaak. I’m an agent for the Monster Hunting Agency. Please show yourself.”
Silence. Suddenly something from behind me shoved me to the ground. I quickly rose and faced the creature that shoved me. It stood about as tall as me, maybe a couple inches taller. Its teeth resembled fangs. The fur that covered its body was dark gray.
“What are you doing here?” The creature asked me.
“I’m an agent with the Monster Hunting Agency. I’ve been sent down here to investigate a monster that’s been scarring a little girl.”
The monster laughed. “The Monster Hunting Agency? They’re going to send children to stop us monsters?” It started to laugh.
I smiled. “You wanna come over here and see this child kick your butt?”
The monster charged me. I kicked him in the chest, sending him crashing to the ground. I pinned his shoulders to the ground with my knees and punched him in the face.
“Ok, enough,” the monster yelled.
I rose, pulling out one of my squirt bottles, aiming it at his chest. “This squirt bottle is filled with premium monster spray. I’m sure you know what that is right?”
The monster nodded. “Yeah, it dissolves all the badness from a monster and makes us permanently nice.”
“That’s right. Now I got a little girl up there who’s scared of a monster that has octopus tentacles. Have you seen anyone like that down here?”
The monster snorted. “Why should I tell you?”
I smiled. “I can see this ain’t going anywhere.”
I pulled the trigger on the spray bottle. Before the spray hit the monster he ran out of the way of the stream. I ran after it.
“What’s going on down there?” Clyde asked from my earpiece.
“I’m chasing a monster that attacked me. I think he may have some knowledge of the creature we’re looking for.”
“You be careful down there boss.”
My infrared sunglasses gave me the ability to follow the monster’s footsteps. I took each step slowly, not wanting to get ambushed. A squeaking noise from up ahead caught my attention. I followed the noise to its source.
It appeared to be a toy. I picked it up, inspecting it. Without warning, something from above hit me on the head knocking me out.
**********
I awoke in a small room. Clyde was bellowing in my ear.
“Boss. Are you there Izaak?”
“Yeah I’m here. I just got ambushed, that’s all.”
“What do you still have left with you in terms of supplies?”
Apart from my sunglasses and earpiece, I was left with nothing. “They pretty much stripped me bare. I’m trapped in a little room now.”
“Well you need to find an escape route fast. And you also need to find that red candy again.”
I hadn’t even thought about that. The red candy would be my only way out of here. The problem was the only red candy I could take would be the one that was down in the drain here somewhere since it was an appropriate size for me to take, now that I was tiny. If I had any chance of escaping I needed to find that red candy.
A door opened. A monster stepped in, resembling the monster I encountered earlier but clearly a woman.
“Please sit down,” she said.
I took a seat on the floor. With no obvious options of escape I had no other choice but to listen.
“My name is Glingee. I have to apologize for the actions of my son Sklar. He tells me you’re a part of the Monster Hunting Agency. What is your name?”
“Izaak.”
“Why did you come down here?”
“There was a little girl that came to my agency because she was hearing roars from the drain of her bath tub and she saw octopus arms coming out of the drain.
Glingee laughed. “This girl must be referring to my daughter Flar. She’s an infant and doesn’t realize humans can perceive us as scary. I assure you that the human will not hear from my daughter again. And please give the girl my apologies.”
“I will.”
“Now we must get you back where you came from. Sklar!”
After a moment her son came into the room carrying my stuff. He had an angry look on his face.
“Why are we letting him go back? He hit me.”
Glingee took one of my squirt bottles and sprayed him in the chest. Sklar shook a moment and then smiled.
“I’m sorry Mother.” He handed me my gear.
“Now,” Glingee said, “let’s get you home.”
**********
Glingee pushed me out of the drain. After thanking her I took the red candy. Within moments I was back to my regular size. I walked out of the bathroom and joined Clyde in the hallway.
“Looks like the Pettigrew’s won’t be having any more problems with monsters,” I said.
We walked into the living room where the Pettigrew family was waiting for us.
“Well?” Allie asked expectantly.
“I took care of your problem. I talked with the mother of the monster who was making the noise and she promised that you’ll never hear from any monster again.”
“Oh thank you,” Allie said, giving me a hug.
“No problem. Remember, if you have any more troubles, call the Monster Hunting Agency. In the meantime, keep this monster spray with you. It’ll keep you safe.”
I handed her one of my spray bottles. The family thanked us and we left.
“Well Clyde, looks like we found some more monsters that’ll know not to mess with little kids.”
“You think we’ll ever stop all the monsters from scarring kids?”
I paused. “Maybe not. But I’m sure going to try.
**********
Case 2-Toiletron
The trio of monsters couldn’t believe their luck. Just inside the bedroom door sat a little baby boy in diapers playing on the ground with his toys. With no parent anywhere in sight, they could scare the kid and head home for the night happy.
“This is gonna be fun,” the head monster said.
He led his partners toward the unsuspecting child, taking each step slowly and deliberately. The child continued to play with his toys, various blocks and toy cars. The head monster approached the child and tapped him on the shoulder. The child turned and smiled.
“Look at this, guys,” he said to his fellow monsters. “This kid isn’t scared of us.”
The child laughed. “You sure of that pal?”
The monsters paused in shock. Before they could react, the child grabbed a block and threw it at the head monster’s face, forcing him to the ground. The other monsters advanced. The child jumped up and kicked the monster on his left in the face. He grabbed the monster on his right by the head and forced him to the ground. He pinned the monster to the ground with his knees.
“Make a move and you’ll be eating my diaper.”
The sound of clapping caused the boy to turn. His brother Izaak, head agent of the Monster Hunting Agency, approached.
“Good job Luke.”
He patted Luke on the shoulder. Luke stood up, letting the monster rise. Izaak approached the monster.
“Say hello to my little friend,” Izaak said.
He pulled out a spray canister and sprayed the monster with monster spray. Then he sprayed the other two monsters.
“And one more thing,” Izaak said. “You are all under arrest.”
**********
Izaak headed to the office of Big Daddy, his boss at the Monster Hunting Agency. He didn’t know what this meeting was about. He knew this wasn’t about something he’d done wrong but being kept in the dark like this made him feel uneasy. What could Big Daddy want to talk with him about? And another thing. Where was his partner Clyde? He reached Big Daddy’s office and walked in.
Big Daddy sat at his computer typing. Without looking up he said, “Take a seat.”
Izaak sat in the chair across from Big Daddy waiting for him to finish. Once he was, Big Daddy looked up.
“I heard about your big arrest the other day. Good job.”
“Thanks.”
“I got a big job for you but first I got some bad news. Clyde Roman has quit the Agency.”
“What? Why didn’t he talk to me about it?”
“It wasn’t his decision. His parents moved to Arkansas.”
Izaak sighed, trying not to let his anger and frustration get to him. “So this big job you have, I’ll be doing it alone?”
“I didn’t say that. I wanted you to meet your new partner.”
Big Daddy pressed a button on his intercom. “Send her in.”
The door opened. Izaak turned, wanting to see who this new person would be. Once that person walked in, he turned back to Big Daddy.
“My sister Ashley is my partner? But why?”
“Why not?” Big Daddy replied. “She’s a fully qualified agent like you. And frankly, she’s got some talent as an agent that you don’t.”
“Come on. I’m one of the best agents here.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t. But one person can’t claim to have talent in everything. That’s why we have partners. Now get to work. Luke is waiting for you in the equipment room.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Izaak said. “You never told me what I’m looking for.”
“Both of you will be looking for Toiletron.”
Izaak stood up. “Toiletron? I won’t do it.”
Big Daddy leaned forward in his chair. “I know your history with Toiletron. And I feel, with Ashley and Luke’s help, you can defeat him. You have the most experience with him so you are the perfect agent to bring him down. Now, off with you two.”
Big Daddy turned to his computer. Ashley rose and left the office. Izaak paused, sighed, and followed. Ashley waited for him outside the office door.
“You know it’s not going to be so bad,” she said.
“Shut up,” Izaak said. “Just stay quiet and do what I say.”
Ashley shrugged and followed Izaak to the equipment room where their brother Luke waited for them. Izaak opened the door and walked in, making sure the door would close as soon as Ashley reached the door. Luke stood by a shelf pulling off a device he wanted to work on. He turned when he saw his brother and sister. He motioned them over to his work area.
“What have you got for us Luke?” Izaak asked.
Luke smiled. “Oh, the usual. The only thing I really wanted to show you guys was my new invention.”
He brought Izaak and Ashley over to a table. Sitting on the table was some device covered by a sheet of tarpaulin. Luke pulled over the tarp to reveal his invention.
“I call it the Diaper Cannon. You take an average dirty diaper, depending on the baby of course, load it into the cannon, pull the trigger, and watch the doo doo fly.”
 Ashley laughed. Izaak thought it was funny as well but he wasn’t about to make Ashley think he agreed with her on anything.
“Big Daddy didn’t give us an update on Toiletron. What brought us on the case?” Izaak asked.
Luke led them to his office. Once Izaak and Ashley sat down, Luke turned on his laptop and turned the screen toward his brother and sister. He started a video file that was already set up.
The video showed a little boy, around five years old, walking into a bathroom. The kid stepped to the toilet, pulled down his pants, and just as he was about to sit on the toilet to use it, he suddenly jumped off whimpering and peeing himself on the floor.
“A kid was scared. Where’s the monster at?” Ashley asked.
Luke pulled out two pairs of 3D glasses and handed them to his brother and sister. Once they put them on, he adjusted the sound settings on the computer and started the video again. It started off the same but Izaak and Ashley both jumped when they actually saw what scared the kid off the toilet. It was Toiletron. His enormous body lunged from the porcelain bowl and he pointed at the kid on the ground.
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha, I made you pee your pants, ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
At that point, Toiletron jumped back into the toilet. Izaak tossed off his 3D glasses and left Luke’s office. Ashley and Luke followed him out.
“Izaak, what’s wrong?” Ashley asked.
“Nothing I want to talk to you about. Let’s get this over with and finally defeat Toiletron.”
“Then let’s head over to that kid’s house so we can,” Ashley said.
**********
They arrived at the home of Peter Hellmuth around 6:30 pm. Izaak knocked on the front door waiting for one of Peter’s parents to answer. After a couple of knocks, the door opened. It was Peter’s father.
“What do you punk kids want?”
Izaak cleared his throat. “We’re, uh, agents from the Monster Hunting Agency. We’re here concerning a monster your son Peter saw.”
The man snorted. “That. The kid is lying. But hey, if I want a happy wife, I gotta let you kids in here. Follow me.”
The man led them into his house. They followed him back to the bathroom and left them as soon as his wife walked in. She introduced herself as Margaret.
“I hope Phil wasn’t too harsh with you. He just doesn’t believe in monsters.”
“Where’s your son ma’am?” Ashley asked. Izaak grimaced.
“He won’t come in here since the incident. He’ll either use the restroom at school or…” She wanted to save her son some embarrassment so she didn’t go on.
“Well, we’d like to get working ma’am so if you’d leave us,” said Izaak.
  The woman thanked them and left the bathroom. Luke began pulling equipment from his bag. He gave his brother and sister their canisters of monster spray. He gave them their container containing the red and blue candies they would need to shrink them down and get into the toilet to search for Toiletron. One of the last things he pulled out was a clear plastic ball. The ball appeared to have very tiny exhaust pipes on the side and on the front of it sat a miniature version of the diaper cannon he showed them at the office.
“What’s that thing?” Izaak asked.
“You’ll see.”
Luke positioned the ball on the lid of the toilet. He motioned for Izaak and Ashley to stand with him on the toilet seat together.
“Now take your candies,” Luke said. “Once you’re shrunk down, you’ll see the purpose of my new creation.”
They all took their candies and momentarily shrunk down to miniature size. Once small they saw the entrance they couldn’t see earlier on the ball. It was no ball. It was a vehicle they could use to navigate through the sewer system. Luke pulled out a remote from his shirt, pressed a button, and the door to the ball opened up. Luke urged them onto the ship.
Once they were strapped in, Luke started the ship. With a slight nudge, the ship moved forward and fell into the toilet bowl. Izaak gripped the sides of his chair. Ashley held her hand out to him.
“It’s ok. I’ll hold your hand if you want.”
“Shut up. Don’t touch me.”
Ashley shrugged and stared out the window. Izaak kept his eyes away from the window, remembering his previous encounter with Toiletron.
He was five years old. He had never thought a monster could be real. That all changed when Toiletron decided to pay him a visit.
He went to the restroom one day and sat on the toilet. As he was going, he heard a bubbling coming from inside the toilet. He felt a hand reach up, touching his leg. He jumped off the toilet, scared. Toiletron popped out of the toilet and…
Izaak shook the thought out of his head. He had to focus on the job at hand.
“How much longer do we have to reach our destination?” Izaak asked Luke.
Luke looked at the dials of the ship. “We should be there soon.”
Izaak closed his eyes and relaxed.
**********
Luke pulled the craft to a stop. Ashley nudged Izaak awake.
“We’re here,” she said.
“I can see that. Did you need to poke me that hard?”
“Sorry.”
Luke turned off the engine and opened the main hatch. The three walked out and inspected their surroundings. They stood in a vast cavern. The walls, at least the wall nearest to them on their left, were dark black as was the ground. The air smelled of old, musty sweat socks that your mother never knew you didn’t wash but which you ended up wearing a lot. Luke unloaded some equipment from his backpack, handing Izaak and Ashley a hand held radar device.
“The last time our people encountered Toiletron we were able to attach a homing beacon on him. Use these devices to find him. I’ll stick around here to keep an eye on the ship.”
“Why would he let our people put a beacon on him?” Ashley asked.
“I don’t know the specifics but they did,” Luke said. “Now go get him.”
Izaak and Ashley grabbed their sunglasses and put them on. They started walking, letting the pings from their hand held radars lead them toward Toiletron.
**********
Izaak heard a noise. He raised his hand, having Ashley stop. Something was up ahead waiting for them. It wasn’t Toiletron but by the sound of it, that something up ahead was big and mean.
“Follow me but stay quiet,” Izaak said.
They took each step slow, scanning the entire area to try and see what lay ahead. Suddenly, Izaak was shoved to the ground. Ashley was picked up and embraced in a bear hug. A monster, standing at least two people taller than them, covered in bright purple fur and with the longest, sharpest teeth they’d ever seen, hugged Ashley and laughed.
“Ashley, my little human princess! How are you?”
“Pikefungus. I’m so glad to see you. Give me a kiss.”
The monster stuck out its tongue. Izaak winced. On its tongue was another set of lips that it used to kiss Ashley on the cheek. 
“So what brings you down here Ashley?” Pikefungus asked.
“We’re searching for Toiletron. Have you seen him?”
Pikefungus frowned, turning his glance behind him, seemingly to see if anyone could be watching or hearing their conversation. He motioned for Izaak and Ashley to come closer to him.
“Please go home. They know you’re here. If Toiletron knew I came here to warn you he’d put me in jail. You have to go home.”
Izaak stepped forward, putting his hand on the monster’s shoulder. “Stop. We’re going to stop Toiletron no matter who gets in our way. So if you supposedly care for my sister, either come with us and help or get out of our way.”
Pikefungus stared at Izaak a moment before averting his eyes. He turned to Ashley, patted her on the cheek, and walked away in silence. Ashley turned to her brother.
“Why did you do that?”
“He was just trying to scare us off. We don’t need to deal with stuff like this. Let’s get going. We have work to do.”
Izaak turned his attention back to the radar and followed the signal. Ashley stood for a moment staring at her brother, not sure of what to think of everything that had just happened. Shaking her head, she began following him.
**********
Izaak and Ashley paused when they reached the entrance to what looked like a cave. Izaak pulled a small flashlight from his pocket, turning it on and aiming it into the darkness. Drips of water fell to the ground from the ceiling, making plinking noises in the cavernous space. Izaak turned to Ashley.
“Stick close to me. Places like this are ripe with Shadow Monsters.”
Izaak and Ashley pulled out their bottles of monster spray and stepped into the cave. Their footsteps echoed back to them, giving the impression of their footsteps being made by huge boulders. Ashley moved closer to her brother.
Suddenly something knocked the flashlight from Izaak’s hand. The flashlight flew forward, traveling many feet in front of them before something turned the light out. Ashley and Izaak stood with their backs to each other, monster spray at the ready. They headed in the direction they were heading in, each step taken slowly.
“Just stick close to me Ashley. We’ll get out of this.”
Laughter caused Izaak and Ashley to pause. Something brushed across Izaak’s arm, causing him to shiver.
“Human children. My, someone must like me.”
Izaak clutched Ashley’s arm. Something else brushed Izaak and Ashley’s hair.
“Run,” Izaak yelled.
They bolted for what they thought was the exit. As they ran, Ashley kicked something on the ground. Hearing it skid along the ground, she paused, hoping to hear where it stopped.
“Izaak, I think I found the flashlight.”
She moved her hand across the ground, madly searching the ground for the flashlight. Izaak yelled for her to get up and run. Finally, her hand bumped against the flashlight. She picked it up and turned it on, searching the cave for Izaak. She found him in the darkness. She smiled.
“Time for a girl to handle things.”
Izaak watched as Ashley began dancing through the cave. He shook his head. What does she think she’s doing? he thought?
She continued prancing around the cave, doing her best impression of a ballerina. Just as it seemed she’d lost her mind, out of nowhere Ashley jumped up and did a kick in the air. Izaak shook his head in bewilderment…until he heard a bump on the ground.
“What? How?” He stammered as Ashley walked past him, tossing him his flashlight.
Ashley smiled. “You always forget Izaak. Girls rule in boys drool.”
**********
The exit of the cave loomed ahead. Izaak shut off the flashlight, a bright glow guiding them to their destination.
“Do you think we’re close to finding Toiletron?” Ashley asked.
“We’ll have to ask these guys waiting for us up there,” he replied.
Waiting at the exit of the cave were two of the freakiest monsters Izaak had ever seen. One stood at least double his height, covered in bright orange fur, huge oval eyes, and long dirty fingernails. On his feet was a ratty pair of tennis shoes. The other monster was a squat little thing. It’s body a leathery black. A white mow hawk sprouted from the top of its head. The tall monster headed toward Izaak and Ashley.
“Come with me. Da boss wants to see you.”
Izaak looked at Ashley, shrugged, and followed the monsters. They exited the cave. The monsters stripped Ashley and Izaak of their monster spray. They walked into what appeared to be a steep valley. Straight ahead sat a huge castle entrance built into a mountain. The monsters led them to the entrance of the castle, opened the huge doors, and led them inside.
A huge entrance hall awaited them. The two monsters closed the front door. The big orange monster turned to Izaak and Ashley.
“Stay right here. The boss will be right with you.”
With that, the two monsters walked out of the room. The silence weighed on Izaak and Ashley like a blanket. Izaak turned to his sister.
“Stay close to me. I don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
A rumbling noise got their attention. They looked around, not knowing the exact source of the noise. Suddenly, the far wall burst away. A huge monster resembling a Tyrannosaurus Rex with an overbite walked into the room and gave a roar. It was Toiletron.
Izaak stepped back against a wall and started trembling. The terrifying monster from his memories, the monster that made him afraid of using the toilet, towered over him roaring, bearing his terrible teeth. Izaak began to cry.
Ashley stood at the side of Toiletron, staring at the horrendous beast as it attempted to terrify her and her brother. Something was bothering her. What was it? Something about this creature struck her as wrong and…
Once the realization hit her, she couldn’t do anything but smile. Ain’t nobody going to make my brother cry, she thought. She ran toward the monster’s tail.
Izaak saw Ashley run toward the monster. He held out his hand. “Ashley, no.”
Stricken with fear, he watched as his sister ran to Toiletron’s tail, lifted it up, and…, and…
“Ewwwww.”
He watched as his sister entered Toiletron in a rather unconventional way. Nothing seemed to happen. Then suddenly, Toiletron paused. Music erupted from his mouth and the monster began to dance.
“Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!”
The monster began swaying to and fro. Izaak ran out of the way as Toiletron stumbled in his direction. Izaak watched in amazement as the monster crashed to the ground. In the ensuing silence, Izaak heard some clattering inside Toiletron’s head. The clattering stopped. Izaak saw Ashley’s head poke out of Toiletron’s ear.
“Guess what I found Izaak?”
Ashley climbed out of Toiletron’s ear dragging a furry little creature behind her.
“Wha…, what is that?” Izaak asked.
“This, brother, is the real Toiletron. His real name is Larry.”
Izaak stood, confused. “So the monster I’ve been afraid of all these years is…, is a little hairball?”
Ashley picked up Toiletron. The little monster began squeaking.
“It would appear so.”
Izaak slowly approached the monster. “Why have you been scaring kids Larry?”
The little monster huffed. “You all get to be so big. You all get to grow up and tower over everyone. That won’t happen to me. So I did the only thing I felt was right. That’s scare every little kid I could.”
Izaak, his courage growing by the second, stepped forward. “Well pal, you’re under…”
A noise to their left got their attention. The two monsters who led them to this hall were back and running in their direction. Toiletron broke free from Ashley’s grasp and ran toward his friends. The monster’s crept toward Izaak and Ashley, laughing. Izaak clutched his sister.
A boom from the right caused everyone to turn. A white ball flew toward the monsters, hitting the small one with the mow hawk in the face. Izaak and Ashley turned to each other.
“Diaper cannon,” they said in unison. They ran toward the hole in the wall the cannon ball made. Pikefungus poked his head through the hole.
“Ashley, Izaak. Follow me. I brought Luke.”
Izaak and Ashley jumped out of the hole. They paused. The back of the castle was right at the edge of the river where Luke parked their boat. They ran toward their waiting brother, Pikefungus at their heels.
“I did what I could Ashley dear. But be warned, the monsters are getting together against the Monster Hunting Agency. They’ve started their own organization, M.A.C.E., Monsters Against Children Everywhere. Do be careful.”
They reached the boat. Before Ashley got on the boat, she hugged her friend.
“Thank you for your help. Be careful.”
Pikefungus poked out his tongue with the lips and kissed her on the cheek. “I will.”
Izaak shook Pikefungus’s hand, thanking him for his help. They entered the boat, watching Pikefungus run off. The other three monsters, with Toiletron in the lead, ignored Pikefungus and headed toward the boat. Luke got the engines started and they were off. Just as they thought they were out of danger, Izaak saw a boat materialize out of thin air. Toiletron and his friends got on that boat and began pursuing them. Izaak grabbed the diaper cannon.
“Is this thing loaded?” Izaak asked Luke.
“Yeah. I had lunch a couple hours ago so we should be set for ammunition.”
Izaak aimed the cannon at Toiletron’s boat and fired. It splashed to the right. He fired again. Another miss. Shot after shot erupted from the muzzle of the diaper cannon, none of them reaching their mark. Izaak pulled the trigger one more time and heard a click.
“We’re out of diapers.”
Luke rose. “No we’re not. Grab the controls.”
Izaak grabbed the steering wheel. Luke walked over to the diaper cannon. Without hesitation, he pulled down his pants, took off his diaper, and placed the last bit of ammunition he could make into the cannon barrel. He aimed and fired.
The diaper sailed across the river. To Ashley, it seemed as if it were flying in slow motion. She watched as the diaper landed squarely in Toiletron’s face, his friend’s getting hit with ricochets. Their boat lurched to the right, turning over. The last image Ashley saw of them was Toiletron shaking his fist at them.
**********
Izaak, Ashley, and Luke stepped out of the bathroom and informed Mrs. Hellmuth that Peter would not be hassled by Toiletron again. She thanked them for their help. On their way out, she gave them some cookies.
As Mrs. Hellmuth closed the front door, Izaak turned to his sister.
“How did you know Toiletron was inside a robot and not the robot itself?”
“Izaak, you know what my favorite movie is, right?”
“The Wizard of Oz?”
“Of course. Once I saw that robot burst through the wall I knew he was using that thing to scare people and that it wasn’t really Toiletron. And it also said ‘Made in Taiwan’ on his tail.”
“Thank you Ashley. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.”
Izaak gave his sister a hug. She smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
**********
“So they got away Toiletron?”
“Yeah boss. I knew I could make Izaak run away but it was his crazy sister that found me out.”
“Ah, yes. Ashley. You said Pikefungus helped the humans out?”
“Yeah. I saw him help them to their ship.”
“Find him. He’ll regret the day he interfered with M.A.C.E.”
Case 3-All of Your Toys
There was a knock at the closet door. Heather sat up in bed and stared. The knocking started a little less than five minutes ago, waking her out of a deep sleep. It sounded like someone’s knuckle hitting the back of the door. Who is making that noise? she asked herself. She sat up and stepped out of her bed. She walked over to her light switch flicking it on. The noise stopped. Heather thought of her Father, wondering what he would do if he heard a noise like this. Before she could think of an answer, a voice called out her name.
“Heather.”
She froze and smiled. Tenny. She ran to her closet door and opened it. Standing inside the closet was her precious teddy bear Tenny. She picked him up and gave him a loving embrace.
“I’m so glad you came.”
“I told you I would. I would never lie to you,” Tenny said. Heather set him on the ground, taking a seat next to him on the floor.
“So what story are you going to tell me tonight?”
Tenny sat on Heather’s lap. “I don’t have a story tonight. I just wanted to tell you that I may not be able to see you again.”
Heather stared, her mouth opening and closing in shock. How could this be? Tenny had belonged to her since long before she could remember. Her Father told her it was the last gift her Mother bought before her Mother died. This teddy bear was the only link she had, the only connection she would ever have with her Mother.
“You can’t leave.”
“But I must. You’re getting older now and there’s only so much time I have left to be with you. So I’ve come to tell you goodbye.”
“Please don’t go. I love you. You can’t leave.”
“But I have to. You’re getting older and one of these days, you’ll no longer want me around. So I’ve decided to move to Toyland.”
“Toyland? What is that?”
“It’s a wonderful land where all the toys go when kids get too old. It’s the greatest place ever made. Any toy you could think of would be there.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s a place of refuge for toys that have no home. And I must leave cause that will be my home.” Tenny headed for the closet.
Heather held back the tears that wanted to flow. She couldn’t explain why she was so sad. The thought of never seeing Tenny again just wasn’t something she wanted to think about. She held out her hand.
“Let me come with you.”
Tenny paused, turning his head back toward Heather with a smile on his face. “You really want to come to Toyland with me?”
**********
Ashley sat at her desk staring at her work. It had been over a month since the Toiletron case and since then she’d seen nothing but paperwork. Big Daddy had asked that her and her brothers write down every detail of the case due to the revelation of her monster friend Pikefungus that an organization was out there that was signaling them out. That organization was called M.A.C.E., Monsters Against Children Everywhere. Since the Toiletron case, no other information had come up in regards to this organization and what its ultimate goals were.
There was a knock on her office door. “Come in,” she said. Her brother Izaak walked in.
“You can put that stuff away for now. Momma wants us in her office.”
Ashley blinked in shock. “Momma wants to see us? What, did Big Daddy get in trouble?”
Izaak laughed. “No, he’s fine. Momma is in charge of the M.A.C.E. investigation and took it over from Big Daddy. And as we know, what Momma wants, Momma gets. Let’s go see her.”
Ashley rose and followed Izaak to Momma’s office. Momma was the head of the Monster Hunting Agency. She was the strongest, most impressive monster hunter Ashley ever knew. If Momma wanted to see them, she knew whatever they were supposed to be doing was important. Izaak opened the door for his sister and they entered Momma’s office. They each grabbed a chair at Momma’s desk. After a few minutes, Momma entered the room.
“Good afternoon you two. Thank you for coming so fast.”
“Like we had a choice,” Izaak smirked.
Momma stared at Izaak. He smiled a moment, trying to keep her stare, and then turned away. Momma took a seat at her desk. She handed files to Izaak and Ashley.
“We have a lead on this M.A.C.E. organization. It’s not much of a lead but it’s the best we have. I want the two of you to find out more.”
Izaak and Ashley looked through the files. Ashley saw a name that brought a smile on her face.
“Pikefungus gave us the lead?”
Momma nodded. “Yes he did. The fact that he did does raise a problem. He’s in danger and I want you two to make sure he’s safe. Luke will set you two up with all the equipment you need. You may go now.”
Izaak and Ashley rose. They left Momma’s office and headed toward Luke’s lab. Ashley walked faster than usual, wanting to get to work right away in order to help protect her friend.
“Ashley, wait up,” Izaak said.
“We have to hurry. Pikefungus is in danger.”
“I know but we won’t be able to protect him if we’re totally out of breath.”
Ashley slowed down. “Sorry. I’m just worried.”
“I know. He saved us from Toiletron and his minions. But in order to save him we have to do this right. And the first thing we have to do is see Luke.”
“You’re right. Thanks.”
They arrived at Luke’s lab. Izaak held the door open for his sister. They entered. Luke was at the back of the lab with his back to them, putting together a new project. Izaak and Ashley walked up to their brother.
“What you working on?” Izaak asked.
Luke turned and smiled. He held up a small square box with a red button in the middle of it. He pressed the button. “Phhhht!” was the sound that came from the box. After a couple seconds, a horrible stench came out of nowhere. Izaak and Ashley plugged their noses and gagged. Luke laughed.
“Better than a whoopee cushion. I call it the Fart Master 4000.”
“How does it get rid of monsters?” Ashley asked.
“It doesn’t. But it’s great for parties.”
Luke led Izaak and Ashley to another part of the lab. “Momma told me what you guys are going to be doing. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to come along for the ride this time. Seems that my little diaper canon kinda got me on field suspension. But I got some toys you guys are gonna love.”
Luke grabbed a pair of squirt guns and tossed them to Izaak and Ashley. “Seems Big Daddy was able to pull some strings and actually got you two some actual squirt guns and not the spray bottles you all used to have. These are long range squirt guns and man, they could take out a monster at five hundred feet.”
Izaak held the gun up. “Lock and load baby!”
Luke and Ashley stared at him. Izaak shrugged. “So? I always wanted to say that.”
Luke turned back to his devices. He handed Ashley a spray can
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Instant adhesive. There are some monsters out there that are fast as lightning. You spray this in their general direction they’ll instantly be frozen wherever they’re at. Handy stuff to have around.”
Luke led them to a table. A sheet covered something on the table. He paused for dramatic effect before pulling the sheet off the item.
“What is it?” Izaak asked.
“The Miniaturizer. You strap this baby on your back. When you come across a monster that’s too big to handle, you aim the barrel straight on the monster and boom, you make them the size of a mouse.”
Izaak smiled. “Nice. Wish you made this earlier. We could have used this against Toiletron.”
Luke raised an eyebrow. “Don’t question my work. Now get packed up. You both have a special transport waiting for you.”
**********
“A closet? How can this be a special transport?” Izaak asked.
“According to the files, it’s a transport that the Monster Hunting Agency acquired from a company that used to run in the monster world. It served as a gateway between the human and monster worlds. What they did with it we’re not totally sure but we have it and now it’s our way to get into monster land.”
“What? They couldn’t get more creative than this? A closet?”
“As long as it gets us there that’s all that counts. Now if you don’t mind…”
Ashley opened the closet door and stepped inside. After a moment’s hesitation, Izaak followed his sister inside. Ashley felt a cold shiver run across her body; her hair rose up like when a balloon full of static electricity ran across your head. After what seemed like forever, Ashley felt the air turn cold. She knew she’d arrived in the monster world. 
She turned and saw Izaak appear behind her. He rubbed his hands across his arms, warming up his body.
“That was weird,” he said. “Do we know where Pikefungus is going to be?”
“Of course. If you had read the paperwork, you would have found that info. Just follow me.”
Izaak followed his sister. They traveled what seemed like hours through the barren wasteland that this area of monster land seemed to be. They traveled without speaking, each one worried about the mission ahead. Ashley was worried about her friend Pikefungus. She knew that he was going against the monster code by being friends with a human. But he’d told her that there was no reason why humans and monsters could not be friends. There was no reason for them to dislike each other the way they did. Izaak was worried for his sister. He didn’t want to see his sister upset like this. While they didn’t always get along, he did everything he could to protect her. She was younger and he felt it was his duty to protect her from the bad things in the world.
Ashley held up her hand, stopping Izaak in his tracks. “The report said Pikefungus would meet us here.”
“Then where is he?”
“The report said he would be here so we’re going to wait.” Ashley took a seat on the ground. Izaak joined her.
“I got to tell you Ash, I’m really uncomfortable with this.”
“Why?”
“Can’t really explain it actually. I just have a bad feeling about this.”
“Funny. Look, we can trust Pikefungus. He’s been a trusted friend of mine for a long time…”
“You’re six. How can you have any friend for a long time?”
“Shut up. Just remember the help he gave us against Toiletron.”
“Sorry Ashley. I’m just not that trustful a person. And I think I have every reason to be.”
A noise in the distance prevented Ashley from responding. Izaak rose, stepping between his sister and the noise. After what seemed like forever, a figure appeared in the darkness. The closer he got to them, the more the distinctive features of Pikefungus became recognizable. Within moments, he appeared before them. Ashley rose and gave him a hug.
“Pikefungus, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Princess Ashley, I can’t begin to tell you how I’ve missed you. But follow me you two. Big things are afoot. We cannot delay any longer. Follow me.” Pikefungus started off in the direction he had come. Ashley looked at Izaak. He shrugged and followed the monster.
**********
Pikefungus walked up to the castle door and opened it, holding the door for Izaak and Ashley as they stepped into the amazing building. The room they stepped in seemed out of place with the dark, barren wasteland outside. The room erupted with colors. The curtains were a bright red, the carpet they stepped on was an almost blinding orange, the chandelier hanging from the ceiling, besides being amazing due to its size, the colors it emitted thanks to the lights coming through the massive windows were almost like a gigantic rainbow was planted in the room and growing up into the sky. Pikefungus closed the door behind him and stepped forward, taking Ashley’s hand.
“We have a lot to talk about. Follow me. I’ve made us a nice dinner to enjoy while we discuss M.A.C.E.”
Pikefungus led them into the heart of the castle. Izaak felt the shadows slowly come up from who knows where, seemingly reach out to them as they walked. He didn’t know what was wrong, couldn’t put his finger on what was going on, but he didn’t like this. Not one bit. Izaak stared at his sister, trying to guess what she was thinking about. Whatever it was, he had no clue.
“So why did you decide to contact the Monster Hunting Agency?” Ashley asked.
“Well, in terms of my people, there are some of us that want this war to end. Humans are just like monsters in many ways. There are good humans and bad humans. You can’t say all humans are bad just because a few of them are big meanies. So some friends and I decided we were going to do whatever we could to prove to our other monster brothers and sisters that humans were not all bad.”
“But aren’t you afraid that having a meeting with two agents from the Monster Hunting Agency would put you and your friends in danger?” Izaak asked.
“That’s a danger that’s loomed over us for the longest time,” Pikefungus said, arriving at a door. “But I’ve just made a deal that will make my monster brothers and sisters see the light about humans forever.”
Pikefungus pressed a button on the wall. The door in front of them slid open, revealing a room full of monsters with evil intentions in their faces staring at them. Izaak and Ashley both went for their squirt guns but before they had the chance to aim them, a monster with the power of speed took all their weapons away. Ashley turned toward Pikefungus, the pain and anguish in her eyes was unable to be masked.
“I’m sorry,” Pikefungus said. “I had no choice.”
“You…you Lando.”
Before Izaak and Ashley could react any further, a handful of dust was tossed in their face. After inhaling it once, they both fell fast asleep.
**********
Izaak opened his eyes slowly, the sleep not wanting to leave his body. The dream he was having was quite fun and it wasn’t something he wanted to stop. But the more consciousness crept back into his body, the more he remembered what was going on. Izaak finally realized where he was and opened his eyes.
Where am I? he thought. The room he was in was drab, gray, and had the feeling of old movies from the 1980’s that his father watched. The room was as empty with no windows indicating where he was at. He rose and stretched. He started pacing.
He had to find out where he was and how to get out of here. He had to find his sister to make sure she was safe. A noise caught his attention. He turned, watching part of the wall open up, a monster with seven eyes and dark silver skin walking into the room.
“You are one ugly monster,” Izaak said.
“And you are one ugly human,” the monster replied.
Izaak stared at the monster. “So you’re in here. Where am I?”
“Your new home. Toyland.”
Izaak smirked. “Toyland? What, did you spend ten bucks on this place?”
“You’re funny for a human. Now follow me. My leader wishes to speak with you.”
“Take me to your leader.”
The monster led Izaak out of the room. A long, cramped hallway led to what seemed like nowhere was before him. The monster led Izaak down the hallway. While he couldn’t see any doors, from the noises he heard he knew people were trapped in rooms behind the wall.
They walked from what seemed like twenty minutes taking turn after turn, heading in no particular direction in particular. They reached a dead end.
“You led me to a wall. Nice,” Izaak said.
The monster faced him, blinked his seven eyes, and smiled. The floor jolted, causing Izaak to lose his balance. Before he realized it, the floor lowered down to the floor below him.
The room seemed like a throne room he’d see in books about King Arthur. Expensive looking curtains hung on the walls, the color a dark purple. Candles were lit and were all over the throne room. Straight ahead sat a large golden throne. The monster took Izaak by the hand bringing him to the throne. As they reached the throne, the monster went to his knees.
“Behold the King. The King of Kings. On your knees dog.”
Izaak stood his ground, not wanting to go along with what this stupid monster wanted. Without warning the silver monster pulled Izaak to the ground. Trumpets blared in the room. Izaak put his hands to his ears. To his left, the wall slid open. Monster guards holding flags stepped into the room. The guards made a pathway, raising the flags over their heads. Suddenly the trumpets stopped. The king monster entered the room. Izaak stared at this…monster in shock.
It was a man.
Izaak turned to the gray monster. The monster smiled. 
“You don’t have to be a monster to be a monster.”
The man walked slowly to his throne, taking a seat. He glared at Izaak and the gray monster. 
“What child is this that is brought before me?” The King asked.
“It’s Izaak, lead agent for the Monster Hunting Agency.”
“Ahh yes. The annoying little agency that has been hampering business. Tell me why I shouldn’t destroy you now little boy?”
“Destroy? Who writes your dialogue?”
The King laughed. “I heard you had a mouth on you. It’s nice to hear it in person.”
“You’re Majesty,” Izaak said, “to what do I owe the pleasure of being here?”
The King leaned back in his throne. “Your organization has been a thorn in the side of M.A.C.E. for too long. And this project I’m leading for M.A.C.E. needed no disturbance. So we decided to get the two best agents from the Monster Hunting Agency and…borrow them until our plan reaches fruition.”
“You kidnapped me and my sister.”
“Maybe so, but I think my explanation was a little more articulate.”
“So what do you have planned for us?” Izaak asked.
“You and your sister will join our other guests as cogs in our master plan.”
“How so?”
The King smiled. “Why explain it when you’ll get the gist of things momentarily? Guards, take him away and get him to work.”
The gray monster grabbed Izaak by the arm and led him out of the throne room. Izaak didn’t resist. He had to find a way out of here but causing a disturbance that would cause them to look more closely at him and his sister would not help.
**********
Luke ran into Momma’s office. “I’ve lost Izaak and Ashley’s signal.”
Momma rose from her desk. “What?”
“Their signals just disappeared. I haven’t been able to get that back up on the system.”
Momma rose from her desk. “Let’s go to Big Daddy’s office. We have to get them back.”
Momma and Luke left Momma’s office and ran down the hall to Big Daddy’s office. Momma opened the door and ran in. Big Daddy sat at his desk typing on the computer. He looked up.
“Ever hear of knocking?”
“First off, don’t talk to me like that. Secondly, Izaak and Ashley are missing.”
Big Daddy rose from his desk. He turned to Luke. 
“Where were they last spotted?”
“They used the transport to go to a part of Monster Land I’ve never heard of. I was able to track them for a bit until their signals just disappeared.”
“Take me to the lab and show me.”
Luke led Momma and Big Daddy to his lab. Luke got his computer out of hibernation mode and brought up the GPS tracking screen.
“They arrived here,” Luke said, pointing to a spot on the screen. “They traveled to around this point and then simply disappeared. I spent a good twenty minutes trying to get their signal back up but it didn’t work.”
Big Daddy turned to Momma. “You know what we have to do.”
“I know. But it’s been a while. Do you think we can do it alone?”
Big Daddy smiled. “You question me woman? Let’s go get our kids back.”
**********
The gray monster strapped Izaak in the chair, made sure he was secured, and left, laughing. Izaak inspected his surroundings. Another gray room. Whom did these people use as decorators? Straight ahead was a large television. Before he could react, the television turned on. It was CNN. Wolf Blitzer appeared on the screen, rambling about whatever unimportant nonsense was happening in the world. Izaak felt something move at his right hand. He looked down. It was a remote control. Izaak pressed the button, hoping to find SpongeBob or something else that would entertain him. Another news channel popped up. This time Keith Olbermann was rattling on about someone being a horrible person. Izaak turned the channel again. This time Bill O’Reilly was on the screen yelling at someone to shut their mouth. There were only a couple channels on the TV and they were all news. What was going on here?
**********
Big Daddy stepped from the ship onto monster soil, taking in a breath of monster air. 
“It smells like someone farted,” he said.
Momma and Luke followed Big Daddy off their ship. Big Daddy turned to Luke. 
“So this is where their signal first started?”
“Yeah. They went off into that direction over there.”
Luke led Momma and Big Daddy along the path Izaak and Ashley took when they first arrived.
“I can’t believe they were captured,” Momma said. “I feel so horrible.”
“Yeah, so do I,” Big Daddy said. “But we have to focus on the job at hand. Getting the kids back.”
“I know that. But sometimes I just want to be able to express myself and you won’t…”
Big Daddy turned to Momma. “Yell at me all you want when we get out of this but we can’t be doing this now. We have a job to do and we need to do it distraction free. You got me?”
“If you weren’t my husband I’d slap you in the face.”
“Well, you can do that later. Let’s get the kids now.”
They followed Luke.
**********
Ashley had had enough. This news broadcast was boring her to tears. She had to escape. The guards had thought they’d had her secure but she had a trick up her sleeve. She noticed the security camera on the ceiling. She looked at it a moment and started crying. More like wailing. She thrashed around in her seat, putting on a show for the camera. Within minutes, the door to her cell opened and a monster walked in.
“What is your problem little girl?” the monster yelled.
The monster released her from the restraints. As soon as she was free, she poked the monster in the eyes. The monster grabbed his eyes in pain. She rose from the chair, grabbed the monster, and put him in the chair, putting the restraints on him. As soon as the monster was secure, she reached up and grabbed the security camera, pulling it from the wall. She turned to her new prisoner.
“What the heck is going on here?”
“I don’t know what you think you’re trying to do…”
“I’m trying to find out what’s going on here. Answer my question.”
The monster laughed. “Tears. Children’s tears.”
“What about children’s tears?”
“In the monster world, children’s tears are as valuable as oil in the human world. They are a valuable fuel source. However, due to laws about not getting this fuel from children illegally, it’s a rare item to come by. But thanks to M.A.C.E., we’ve found a loophole.”
“Toyland?”
“Toyland. We trick children into thinking they’re coming to a land where toys come to retire, a land where they can play forever. When they get here, we capture them and make them watch the talking heads on the news all day.”
“Boring them to tears.”
“Exactly.”
“Thanks for the info.”
Ashley turned to leave the room. “Do you think you’re really going to be able to escape?” the monster asked.
Ashley turned and smiled. “Maybe, maybe not. But you can’t stop me from trying.”
**********
Izaak couldn’t believe how boring this was. He’d seen these types of shows before since his Father liked watching them on occasion but having to sit through them like this for what seemed like hours on end was unbearable.
A noise caught his attention. The door slid open slow. Who the heck was coming in here?
Ashley walked into his cell. He’d never been happier to see his sister. She headed over and released him from his restraints.
“Do you realize how many cells I’ve had to go to in order to find you?” she said.
“Hopefully it wasn’t many.”
“More than you think. Let’s get going. We have to find our weapons.”
“Do you know where they’re at?”
“One of the monsters I fought told me where we can find them. Let’s get going.”
They left the cell. The hallway they were in was empty. They crept down the hallway, Ashley in the lead. They got to the end of the hallway. The hallway forked off to their left and right.
“Where to now?” Izaak whispered.
Ashley smiled. “I don’t know brother. I don’t know.”
She turned to her left, Izaak following her. At the end of the hallway was a door. A sign over the door said ‘Storage Room’. They arrived and entered the room. Ashley smiled. The only thing in the room was a table. On the table…were their weapons. Izaak and Ashley ran to the table and grabbed their weapons. Izaak smiled.
“Let’s go hunt some monsters.”
**********
Big Daddy saw the castle first. He grabbed his water gun and got it ready, Momma and Luke doing the same thing. They arrived at the castle entrance. Big Daddy tried to get into the entrance but the door would not budge. Momma walked to the side of the castle. She motioned for Big Daddy and Luke to follow her. There was a side entrance that Momma had found a way to open. They entered the castle.
A monster stood with its back to them about a hundred yards ahead of them. Big Daddy raised his water gun and fired. The monster stumbled then turned to face them. It smiled.
“Oh thank you. You’ve saved me.”
“Don’t mention it,” Big Daddy said. “You wanna help us get a couple of our agents back?”
“Oh yes. Anything I can do to help you out for saving me.”
“Then tell us, where can we find Izaak and Ashley,” Big Daddy said.
“Follow me. I know right where they’re at.”
Big Daddy, Momma, and Luke followed the monster down the hallway.
**********
Izaak poked his head around the corner seeing what laying for them next. A group of monsters stood talking to each other around a control board. Izaak leaned back to his sister.
“Follow my lead.”
Izaak walked around the corner and started whistling. The monsters turned.
“How did you get out of your cell?” one of the monsters yelled. 
“Oh, you know. Just counting flowers on the wall.”
Izaak brought out the water gun and started firing. Monster spray splashed all the monsters. They began shaking. Before Izaak could count to three, the monsters began smiling.
“How do you all feel?” Izaak asked.
“So much better. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me with words. Thank me with actions. I need your help.”
**********
The door clanged open. Izaak and Ashley stood with water guns held ready, monsters standing on either side and behind them prepared for action. They stepped into the area beyond the door. It was a courtyard of some sort. Dead plants littered the dirt. Surrounding them were cell doors. Inhabiting the cells were children of all ages, strapped into chairs and each watching the news. Some children were crying, some were writing in their chairs, and yet others were staring at the walls trying to avoid looking at the television. Izaak turned to one of the monsters.
“How do we get them out of there?”
“There’s a control station over there,” the monster said, pointing up. “Follow us. We’ll help you up there.”
The monsters led Izaak and Ashley over to the area by the control station. The station was on the roof of the particular building. Ashley looked up.
“How are we supposed to get up there?” she asked.
“Leave that to us,” one of the monsters said. 
The monsters grabbed Izaak first. With a count of three, they launched Izaak in the air. He landed on the roof of the building. Ashley followed soon after. Ashley leaned over and waved to the monsters.
“Thank you. Now go free those other kids!”
“We will,” they said, and ran off. Ashley turned to her brother.
“What do you have planned?” she asked.
Izaak laughed. “I don’t know Ashley. I don’t know.”
**********
Big Daddy pressed the button and the cell door opened. A little girl sat in a chair staring at a TV, tears rolling down her face. He ran in, releasing her from her bonds. The little girl gave him a hug.
“Thank you. I want to go home now.”
“That’s cool. We’ll get you there in no time. What’s your name?”
“Heather. I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”
“I understand and normally I wouldn’t be talking to little kids like this. But you’re someplace you shouldn’t be and my partner and I will be getting you back home. All right?”
Heather nodded. Momma stepped forward and grabbed Heather’s hand.
“Can you tell us how you got here?”
“My teddy bear took me here.”
“Your teddy bear?” Big Daddy asked.
“Tenny. He told me I could come to Toyland with him forever.”
“Tenny’s your teddy bear?” Momma asked.
“Yeah. My Mommy gave him to me before she died. About a month ago, before school started he started talking to me. Then last week he told me he was leaving. I didn’t want him to leave.”
Heather burst into a fresh round of tears. She clutched Momma, getting reassurance from her like a car battery gets power when jumper cables are attached to another car battery. Momma looked at Big Daddy. She didn’t have to tell him what she was thinking. Big Daddy went to one knee and looked at Heather.
“Heather, we have our kids here too. Izaak and Ashley. While they, and we, are trained monster hunters, I can tell you I am scared for my children, just as I’m sure your Father is scared for you now. I promise you I will do everything in my power to get you home. All right?”
Heather nodded. Big Daddy rose, facing Momma again.
“We got monsters to hunt. Let’s go.”
**********
Izaak kicked open the door and swaggered into the control room. Three monsters sat at a desk with a video board on the wall. The monsters turned. Izaak sprayed them with monster spray. They collapsed to the ground, asleep. Izaak and Ashley stepped up to the board. Izaak pointed to one of the screens and smiled.
“Well look who’s here. Big Daddy got Momma out of the office I see.”
“And Luke’s with them too. It’ll be good to see them. But first, we have to get every one of these kids free. Where is the button for that?”
Izaak inspected the board. Buttons were everywhere. He shrugged.
“Let’s just press them all and see what happens.”
Izaak and Ashley pressed all the buttons at once, laughing. The lights went out for a moment before emergency lights came on. A siren erupted from somewhere. Izaak glanced at the screens on the wall. The door to the cells opened up with the restraints unlocking. The captive children fled from their cells. Izaak glanced around the room, spotting an intercom system on the wall. Izaak pressed a button. A tiny compartment opened up with a tiny microphone sliding out. Izaak grabbed the microphone.
“Attention. This is Izaak, lead agent of the Monster Hunting Agency. Please head to the main courtyard where representatives of my organization will assist in getting you back to your homes. And if you encounter a monster keep this in mind. They’re chicken. Babies. Butt heads. Poo poo faces. Show them who’s boss and get to the courtyard. See you there.”
Izaak put the microphone back. He stepped back toward Ashley.
“What do you suggest we do now?” Ashley asked.
“Our main goal is to get our butts back to Big Daddy, Momma, and Luke. Along the way, if we happen to snag some monsters along the way, that would be a good thing. Plus, if we get grab that stupid King guy and find out what he really has to do with this place…”
“Then we can figure out what this all has to do with the M.A.C.E. organization.”
“You got it. Let’s get rolling.”
**********
Big Daddy ran ahead of Momma, Luke, and Heather with a smile on his face. Hearing Izaak’s voice filled him with hope and joy. Being able to reunite with Izaak and Ashley after the chance that they might have been taken from him and Momma forever…
A wave of children ran towards them. Momma turned to Big Daddy.
“I’d better help direct the kids to the courtyard. You go find Izaak and Ashley. And remember to get as much info as you can on the guy running things here. We can’t allow these people to keep this place running.”
“No, I just thought I’d take a stroll around and look at the flowers. What did you think I was going to do?”
“Well I just thought…”
“You just thought you’d get one more shot to yell at me before I went and got the kids. Nice. Bye dear.”
Big Daddy ran off. The only way he’d be able to find the kids was by pure luck at this point. Running around in a building he’d never been in trying to find two small children would be about as much of a success as going through the desert line at a buffet without getting any ice cream. It would be impossible. But knowing Izaak and Ashley, if he just kept his ears open for stuff breaking, he’d find them eventually.
He heard a noise up ahead. He looked around, making sure Momma wasn’t around. When satisfied she wasn’t, he pulled out a big squirt gun. He checked it, making sure it was filled with monster spray. Reaching back into his pocket, he pulled out a pair of sunglasses and put them on. He stepped to a window and saw his reflection. He cocked an eyebrow.
“Hey monster, come get a bite of peach.”
Big Daddy smiled, heading back toward the direction of the noise. He took each step slow, trying to keep his footsteps from alerting whoever was up ahead to his presence. He reached the end of the hallway and looked into the room ahead. A single monster was ransacking some filing cabinets, looking for something. Big Daddy stepped closer and smiled. Well, I’ll be, he thought. Pikefungus. Big Daddy cleared his throat. Pikefungus turned, startled.
“Hello there,” Big Daddy said.
“I was just, uh, making a call.” Pikefungus attempted to run. Big Daddy leveled his squirt gun at him.
“Whoa, where you going?”
“I, uh…”
“Your name is Pikefungus and if I’m not mistaken you’re the monster who got Izaak and Ashley into this here Toyland.”
“Oh, that. That was just a…”
“Misunderstanding? You’ll have to do better than that.”
Pikefungus paused. Then he dropped to his knees and began crying.
“I’m so sorry. They made me do it. After they found out I helped Ashley and Izaak get free from Toiletron and his goons they told me that if I didn’t bring them the Monster Hunting Agents who brought down Toiletron, they would destroy me.”
“They? Fill me in on who they are?”
“The people from M.A.C.E.”
“Who are the people from M.A.C.E.?”
**********
“The throne room.”
Izaak and Ashley stepped up to the door and stopped. “So what do you think we should do?” Ashley asked.
“We could storm on in like that one cowboy movie Big Daddy has. Or we could find a back door to the place, sneak in, find out their grand scheme, and destroy them. What do you think?”
Ashley smiled. Without answering, she opened the door to the throne room and ran inside. Izaak followed at her heels, squirt gun drawn. A noise got their attention. A metallic voice.
“Exterminate!”
Izaak and Ashley stopped. Up ahead they saw large metallic domed creatures with ray guns extended. They knew what they were. Daleks. And they were on the largest television they had ever seen. They stepped closer to the TV, walking past the throne without realizing someone was in the throne. The image on the screen froze. Izaak and Ashley turned. The King sat on his throne.
“How the heck did you two escape?”
Izaak shrugged. “Eh, you know. Kid stuff.”
The King attempted to press a button on his throne. Ashley ran up to him and pulled him off. The King fell to the floor. Izaak stepped up to him.
“You don’t have to worry about finding out what happens next on the show. The Doctor defeats the Daleks in the end. Now tell me. Who are you?”
The King rose, straightening his outfit. “I am the King…”
“Save it,” Ashley said. “You’re a human in the monster world. Who are you and why are you here?”
The King cleared his throat, defeated. “My name is Thom Baker. I was a simple human living in a small town in Michigan when I was approached to be the titular head of the monster world.”
“Titular?” Ashley asked.
“Fake. No power whatsoever but in name only. Yet the monsters here don’t know that. They seem to think I have all the power in the world thanks to the gentleman who hired me.”
“Who would that be?” Izaak asked.
“He has no name. He is everything and nothing all at once. Whatever evil you read in stories or watch in movies, it is.”
“Sounds like an interesting guy. Can I assume he’s leader of M.A.C.E.?” Izaak asked.
Thom smiled. “You assume correctly. But if you think you’re going to destroy him…”
“I don’t have to think mister. I know I will destroy him,” Ashley said. “Now get up. You’re under arrest.”
Mr. Baker rose. “You’re just a couple of punk kids. You won’t be able to stop me.” He laughed at started to walk off. Izaak looked at Ashley, nodding.
Ashley walked after Mr. Baker. She began dancing. Just as Mr. Baker reached the door, Ashley jumped up, kicking Mr. Baker in the head. He fell to the ground. Izaak walked up and joined his sister. They both pulled out their squirt guns and aimed them at Mr. Baker.
“As one of your followers told me,” Izaak said, “not all monsters are monsters.”
Izaak and Ashley pulled the triggers of their squirt guns.
**********
Big Daddy spotted Izaak and Ashley walking toward him. He ran to them, clutching them in a hug when he reached them.
“Thank goodness you both are all right. Were you hurt in any way?”
“No,” Izaak said. “We’re fine. We beat the King and get the monster out of him.”
“Very nice. I ran into your old friend Pikefungus.”
“Oh really,” Ashley sneered.
“Yeah. Let’s get back to Momma. Then we can get back to the real world.”
They ran down the hallway, turning the corner. Before they reached the end of the hall, the floor suddenly gave way and Big Daddy, Izaak, and Ashley fell through. They landed on a soft floor. Before they had a chance to reach their weapons something sped past all of them, grabbing them. A laugh caused the three to turn. A little teddy bear walked toward them, an evil smile on its face.
“You just had to ruin my plans, didn’t you? And you thought I would just let you escape?”
“Who are you?” Izaak asked.
“Wait a minute. Aren’t you that stupid little teddy bear Tenny that that girl Heather had? The one that brought her here?”
“Yeah, that’d be me. But I’m much more than a simple teddy bear.”
The teddy bear reached behind him and pulled a zipper. Within moments, it shed the teddy bear skin and stood in front of the trio in its true form. What stood before them was a black glob of goo.
“I…I don’t get it,” Big Daddy said.
“I am a shape shifter. I am pure evil.”
“And you’re awfully tiny too,” Ashley said. “Kinda like a bowl of pudding that’s taken on a life of its own.”
“Hey, I’m pure evil.”
“Sure you are,” Izaak said. “If we ate you you’d be pure evil in my belly.”
“Stop that! Quit mocking me.”
“You know what I think he looks like?” Big Daddy said. “Like a talking booger.”
The evil creature began to shake. As it did, their weapons shook loose from the goo. Ashley dove forward, grabbing the freezing spray. She aimed it at the creature and sprayed. It froze in mid-air, just as it was attempting to leap at her. Big Daddy pulled a cell phone from his pocket and dialed Momma. After speaking with her, he turned to Izaak and Ashley.
“Momma will be here in a minute to get us. I had her and Luke deal with Pikefungus, who is now on his way to the Monster Hunting Agency for questioning.”
“I’d like to get my hands on him,” Ashley said.
“And you just may. But first things first. We figure out who this little squirt is,” he said, patting the frozen evil creature. The creature mumbled in response.
**********
Back at the headquarters of the Monster Hunting Agency, Izaak stood in an interrogation room pacing. Sitting in a chair in front of him was Pikefungus. He leaned forward into Pikefungus’s face.
“So let’s go over this again,” Izaak said, showing Pikefungus a picture. “This creature told me and my partners it was pure evil. And that silly King Thom Baker said the leader of M.A.C.E. was also pure evil. So do you want to tell me again what you just said?”
Pikefungus laughed. “That thing? That thing is named Gelly. If he’s the leader of M.A.C.E. then I’m Judy Garland.”
“Who is the leader of M.A.C.E. then?”
Pikefungus smirked. “Oh, you’ll meet him one day, I guarantee that. Now I like you and your sister. I really do. But this guy that you’re looking for is someone you don’t mess with.”
Izaak stared at Pikefungus a moment then left the room. He walked up to Momma, Big Daddy, and Ashley.
“So what do you think?” Izaak asked.
Big Daddy nodded. “Well, I know this. We’ve only just begun dealing with these people in M.A.C.E.”