MOVIES WORTH WATCHING A Personal Choice Les Broad Published by Les Broad at Smashwords Copyright 2011 Les Broad Discover other titles by Les Broad at Smashwords.com Smashwords Edition, License Notes This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. MOVIES WORTH WATCHING A Personal Choice What makes a movie worth watching? It rather depends on taste, of course, and this selection represents mine. Science fiction can be fun, especially if they're so bad that they become brilliant in a perverse sort of way. I like some old British films too, those that show a way of life that has now disappeared. There's not much wrong with the occasional movie featuring interesting cars either, but generally where the cars are the stars the film's likely to be pretty poor. Anyway, these are a few of my personal favourites, and you might find yourself being introduced to some stars of the silver screen you've never heard of. And if you disagree with this choice you can always make you own and put it out there in cyberspace, can't you? The Chiltern Hundreds (1949) David Tomlinson, A E Matthews, Cecil Parker, Marjorie Fielding, Joyce Carey Directed by John Paddy The 1939-45 war led to a change in the social history of Britain and that change is the setting for this wonderfully funny little film. David Tomlinson is always good value as the archetypal upper-class twit and A E Matthews' interpretation of the slightly dotty peer is absolutely brilliant. The Chiltern Hundreds of the title is actually the Stewardship of the Chiltern Hundreds; it is a purely nominal office for which a sitting Member of Parliament applies in order to resign his seat. These days, of course, MPs receive such inflated salaries and "expense" allowances that resignation is a rare event indeed; they all fight tooth and nail to hang on to their place on the gravy train, whether they deserve to be there or not. But the Chiltern Hundreds is a hangover from days of yore and is part of the tradition that epitomises Britain, tradition that we discard at our peril. Enough of that though; back to the film. In essence, David Tomlinson is a well-to-do Army officer who, at the end of the 1939-45 war, has a problem (of his own making!) getting out of the Army, solved by declaring his intention of standing for Parliament. This he does, in a seat that has been more or less family property for generations. But that social change kicks in and a Labour MP is elected, much to the family's horror. A second chance is presented when the new Labour MP is ennobled and sent to the House of Lords, triggering a by-election. This time Tomlinson's character stands as a Labour candidate, but is defeated again – this time by the Conservative, who proves to be the family's butler! While all this is going on, Tomlinson's American fiancée loses patience with his attitude and is in fact the driving force behind the butler's campaign. There is a dalliance, of course, with the pretty kitchen maid before the butler professes his intention to apply for the Chiltern Hundreds and settles down with the kitchen maid, leaving Tomlinson to have a third go at getting into Parliament, this time, we assume, with his fiancée helping him. Through it all there is dear old A E Matthews, burbling away about cold bathwater, shooting rabbits and generally not quite getting to grips with what's happening around him. It's a charming, evocative little film that reflects a Britain that is long gone, a time that might have been some way from perfect but which had so much that is sorely missed today. Splendid entertainment! The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) Alec Guinness, Stanley Holloway, Sid James, Alfie Bass, Marjorie Fielding, Edie Martin, John Salew, Ronald Adam, Arthur Hambling, Gibb McLoughlin, John Gregson, Clive Morton, Sydney Tafler, Marie Burke, Audrey Hepburn Directed by Charles Crichton There is no doubt at all that "The Lavender Hill Mob" is one of the all-time great films. After all, Alec Guinness didn't make a bad film throughout his career and in this film he gives one of his best ever performances. He's supported by a cast of top notch calibre too: Sid James and Alfie Bass are brilliant, John Gregson is always reliable and Sydney Tafler turns in his usual polished performance. The film is also notable because it's the first screen appearance of that legend in waiting, Audrey Hepburn. Alec Guinness would, it's said, have liked her to be more prominent but she accepted only a minor role as she had theatre commitments at the time of filming. It's interesting to speculate how different her career might have been had she acceded to his wish. The plot of the film is well enough known. A mild-mannered, reliable bank clerk shares lodgings with an imaginative gentleman of dubious honesty and together they hatch a plan to steal gold bullion from the clerk's bank, exporting the gold in the form of tacky tourist souvenirs - in this case models of the Eiffel Tower. They need to enlist some professional criminal help and do this by simply having a conversation on a London Underground train about security problems at a factory, hiding out in the factory in question and waiting for criminals to break in. Enter Messrs James and Bass, through a window. There is an impressive car chase too, bearing in mind that the film was made over half a century ago. The cars of the day lean dramatically, but at quite low speeds; however, it must have seemed thrilling to audiences used to more modest progress. As well as the car chase, there's a wonderful sequence at the Eiffel Tower; the gold models somehow become mixed up with ordinary ones and some are sold to a party of schoolgirls. A chase ensues, which is beautifully staged and shot. Films from decades ago are often interesting as a reminder of bygone days and from that point of view this is as good as any, but it is far more than that. The storyline remains entirely credible despite the passage of time, the acting and direction have rarely been bettered since the film was made and the performances of both the leading actors and those in more minor roles remain outstanding. It is a truly excellent film that has more than stood the test of time and, as far as I am aware, has yet to suffer the indignity of a 'remake'. Whatever time over a lifetime might be spent watching this film will certainly not have been wasted. Fire Maidens From Outer Space (1956) Anthony Dexter, Harry Fowler, Sidney Tafler, Owen Berry, Paul Carpenter, Susan Shaw, Jacqueline Curtis, Maya Koumani Director Cy Roth Admittedly, this film can now only be watched with the benefit of knowing what was involved in sending men into space in the 1960's and what that exercise involves now. Even so, it is a true masterpiece of silliness that only the British film industry could have produced. To set the scene, a British scientist has apparently discovered that Jupiter has a thirteenth moon which is Earth-like; how he has done this is unexplained as the moon is, apparently, shrouded permanently by some sort of interplanetary fog. The action really gets under way with the arrival of an American colleague at Heathrow Airport, London; it seems that in those days the airport was no more than a strip of tarmac and a tiny terminal building with few people to be seen. So, these two characters, who incidentally both have American accents by the end of the film, decide to go and take a look, expecting for no discernible reason to find humans on a moon of Jupiter. Their rocket will be ready in just a week, then, in answer to a question about the length of the trip the immortal reply comes: "once we reach outer space, three weeks". It's worth making a few things very clear. First, the four people flying off in the rocket do make a concession to the rigours of space travel: they wear overalls. Second, each crew member seems to have an inexhaustible supply of cigarettes but no food at all. Third, every necessary function of the rocket engines, navigation, even the de-icing of its stubby little wings, can be controlled by just two levers. Fourth, the ground crew consists on one shirt-sleeved chap chatting to the crew by phone, a trio of bored-looking, functionless and silent watchers and two military types who seem equally functionless. Maybe those in charge of the American space programme could have learned from this oh-so-British way of doing things; they'd have discovered there was never any need for cumbersome space suits or all those people anxiously monitoring computer screens - one bloke with a bakelite phone is enough. They would also have discovered that their estimate of six months to reach Mars is way off - if it only takes the British three weeks to get to Jupiter the Americans surely could get to Mars in an afternoon. As the intrepid explorers land on Jupiter's moon, having been guided in by a human voice (!) their rocket becomes, for some reason that can only be speculated upon, see-through. Despite this they land safely and enjoy a celebratory cigarette. Then, shedding their no longer needed overalls, they disembark, armed with revolvers. Well, you never know, do you? It's just as well, as it happens, because somebody starts throwing rocks at them. That turns out to be a Monster – six feet tall, skinny enough to be anorexic yet allegedly terrifying. We discover all about the monster when our heroes find the local population – human, of course, refugees from Atlantis when it sank. How they came to be so far from home remains a mystery. The only ones left are one devious old man and a dozen English girls, given to indulging in strange dancing. The plot, such as it is, becomes bizarre at this point. Anyway, leaving out all the inexplicable bits, the monster kills the old man and in turn is killed by the heroes. They shouldn't claim the credit though – the monster really just falls into a fire. Then, predictably enough, the American gets the prettiest girl and takes her home with him after a series of goodbyes that seem to involve a lot of attempts at elephant impressions. Most of the cast have never been heard of again, although one or two tried to resuscitate their careers. Those who didn't, it is believed, changed their names and underwent extensive plastic surgery in desperate attempts to sever their association with this masterpiece of unintentionally comic movie-making. Un Homme Et Une Femme (1966) Anouk Aimee, Jean-Louis Trintignant, Pierre Barouh, Valerie Lagrange, Antoine Sire, Souad Amidon, Henri Chemin, Yane Barry, Simone Paris Directed by Claude Lelouch As the cast might suggest, this is a French film, subtitled into English. Its plot is a love story, telling of a script girl working in the movies, played sensitively by Anouk Aimee, and a racing driver, played by Jean-Louis Trintignant. The Trintignant name was, of course, well known in the world of top class international motor sport at the time. The couple meet when Anouk Aimee misses her train back to Paris from her daughter's boarding school and is offered a lift by Trintignant, whose son attends the same school. Both are widowed, she after her stunt man husband was killed working on a war film and he after his crash at the Le Mans 24 Hour race; the crash and consequent medical treatment required drove his wife to a breakdown and she committed suicide. It is obvious from the outset that these two lead characters are destined to be together, despite her evident shame after they share a bed for the first time. The children get on well too, so a happy ending all round is assured. So far there is little to make the film memorable, apart from the utterly delightful Ms Aimee of course. But there are shots of motor cars that really do turn the film into a piece of history. The all too brief footage of the Le Mans race (from 1965) is fascinating, but the really interesting parts are those apparently shot at the now-defunct Montlhery circuit, near Paris. There are glorious shots of a white Ford GT (of the type which would win the 1966 Le Mans race) circulating together with a white Ford Mustang coupe, being the car that Trintignant uses in the film to win the Monte Carlo Rally. As far as I know, such a car has never even come close to winning the event, but we can write that off as artistic licence; after all, Trintignant's road car in the film is a Ford Mustang convertible so there may well have been a lot of Ford money supported the production. There is also a single seater racing car, which is unidentifiable. There is also footage in the film of the Monte Carlo Rally, when it was a very different and much tougher event than it is today. To anyone with an interest in such things it is just as fascinating and just as valuable as the Le Mans footage. The film stretches credibility a little when the hero, having won the rally and received a congratulatory telegram from Ms Aimee, jumps into his rally car and makes an unscheduled overnight drive from Monte Carlo to Paris. It seems unlikely that it was possible to do such a thing in the mid-sixties; it certainly would be completely impossible now. It is a pleasant little film, made truly memorable, and possibly unique, by its record of racing and rallying of the day, and by that wonderful interlude of a Ford GT being tested. For that reason it is indisputably a classic film. Barbarella (1967) Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, Anita Pallenberg, Milo O'Shea, David Hemmings, Marcel Marceau, Ugo Tognazzi, Claude Dauphin Directed by Roger Vadim I have written a few science fiction books, which some people seem actually to like, and this is a science fiction film. There, I think, the similarity pretty much ends. When I write I try to make my stories believable, setting them only just beyond what is currently possible; with a bit of imagination my readers can, I think, accept what I write about as things that might happen in the none too distant future. 'Barbarella', though, is about as far removed from early 21st century life as it's possible to get and is a far-fetched piece of glorious escapism. In my opinion that makes it a glorious piece of escapism that will never look silly as technology catches up and surpasses what is used in the film, as opposed to an equally glorious piece of escapism that has been surpassed by technology and therefore does look silly. Of course, having Jane Fonda to look at in an, um, interesting range of costumes isn't a bad thing either. I suppose I could talk about the plot, but despite having watched the film many times I'm still not convinced there is one. I think, but I might be wrong, that the general idea is for Barbarella, played by Jane Fonda with admirable gravitas, to prevent Milo O'Shea, as Duran Duran and thus the inspiration behind one of the more bizarre pop groups of recent history, blowing something or other to smithereens with a positronic ray. In doing this she comes across, among much else, a blind angel, people almost entirely encased in rock, David Hemmings as a ham-fisted revolutionary and a strange substance called the matmos, which looks to be very runny, oddly coloured, malevolent custard. Yes, I know, but it's not supposed to be taken that seriously, right? You have to bear in mind that the film was made in the sixties by people who had more than a passing acquaintance with various mind-altering substances. Is it a surprise, then, that it turned out to be exactly what those of us whose vices run only to nicotine and alcohol imagine a bad trip to be? But, hey, watch it anyway: it's fun! Galaxina (1980) Stephen Macht, Lionel Mark Smith, Avery Schreiber, Ted Horino, J D Hinton, Dorothy R Stratton Directed by William Sachs A long time ago, possibly in the early 1990s, one of the British television channels showed as late night offerings on successive weeks two films. They were "Fire Maidens From Outer Space" and "Galaxina". I now have both of these remarkable films on a single videotape and that tape has become one of my most valued, if embarrassing, possessions. Set a thousand years in the future aboard a down-at-heel cruiser of the Galactic Police, for in the future such a force will surely be a necessity, this delightfully nonsensical spoof of every space film you could think of takes as its twin central themes a search for the awesomely powerful Blue Star (cue sound effect – you'll understand if you've seen the film) and the love of one of the crew for Galaxina, played by former Playboy centrefold Dorothy R Stratton. Falling in love is often a recipe for emotional turmoil; when the object of your affection is a robot, albeit an advanced robot, who does not possess the power of speech and delivers a strong electric shock every time she's touched that turmoil gives way (one assumes) to the severest frustration. The search for the Blue Star involves the crew in a prolonged period of cryosleep, stretching to 26 years. Galaxina uses the time profitably, for as a robot and therefore not subject to the ageing process she remains awake, and teaches herself to speak. She also works out how to disable her shocking mechanism. As an aside that raises all sorts of interesting genetic and moral issues, she finds that the manufacturers' catalogue includes all the necessary parts to allow her to reproduce with a human partner. Mind boggling stuff! The Blue Star is also the target of a mysterious alien, who proves to be dangerous but possessed of a dry sense of humour. He and Galaxina have some captivating battles as the Blue Star is sought and located. Some of the truly comic scenes in the film include a brief glimpse of the Batmobile (for reasons known only to the director), a human restaurant (where humans aren't the customers, they're the menu) and a group of outlaws who capture Galaxina. They worship their Great God, a Harley Davidson motorcycle; they get dreadfully upset when the crew rescue Galaxina and make their escape upon the Great God! It is a gloriously fantastic film with a brilliantly funny script that never misses an opportunity to toss in a corny joke. As long as it's accepted as a spoof, or a cinematic joke, it's utterly delightful. Sadly Dorothy Stratton did not survive for long after the making of this film and died at the hand of her husband. Letter To Brezhnev (1982) Alfred Molina, Peter Firth, Alexandra Pigg, Margi Clarke, Tracy Lea, Susan Dempsey, Ted Wood, Carl Chase, Sharon Power, Robbie Dee Directed by Chris Bernard Although my natural instincts draw me towards science fiction, there are times when I watch a film that says so much in a short space of time, sometimes so much so that it becomes a sort of instant classic. This is one of those films. Set in Liverpool in the 1980s, a time long before the city began its climb to its current position where it can rightfully claim to be a centre of culture but long after its heyday as the epicentre of British popular music, the film centres on the lives of two girls. One sees only the limits of her own environment and is determined to extract the most from those limited horizons in whatever way she can, while the other sees those same limits as nothing more than a barrier to be crossed so that the greener grass on the far side can be reached. When the girls meet a pair of Russan sailors the differences in their viewpoints come sharply into focus. The first of the girls, Teresa (Margi Clarke), is gainfully employed in a chicken factory and operates a useful sideline in distributing chicken that she can steal; she it is who pays for two rooms in a typically downmarket hotel so that they can, so to speak, cement Anglo-Soviet relations. She and her sailor spend the whole night actively engaged in industrious coupling whilst Elaine (Alexandra Pigg) and her Russian, despite being closeted together, do nothing more than talk the night away. For Teresa the night is just another in a series of such nights and the fact that her companion is Russian is of little consequence. For Elaine, though, it is different: she and her Russian are in love. The ship on which the Russians serve is to put to sea the next day. Elaine is sure that she and her Russian will be reunited, and determines that nothing will stand in her way. Of course, the Soviet Union was a very different place then to what it has become today and there are tiers of barriers to be overcome. Firstly family opposition must be dealt with and that is perhaps where the culture shock is most sharply drawn as her parents cannot conceive of anyone, least of all their own daughter, wanting to go and live in the USSR. In order to attain her dream Elaine writes direct to Leonid Brezhnev. That a reply is received at all is surprising, but it is much more so that the reply includes the necessary air ticket. Officialdom in the form of the Foreign Office tries to dissuade Elaine but, despite being full of doubt she does eventually depart for Russia. After all, as she says, how much worse can it be there after being unemployed in 1980s Liverpool? It is a quirky film, lovingly and beautifully made but, twenty years or more into the future as we now are, it is desperately in need of a sequel, even if that sequel would be vastly more expensive to make. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Les Broad is originally from the deep south eastern corner of England but insists that at least a quarter of him - the left arm, perhaps including the shoulder - is by historical accident Welsh. He says that his affection for the written word has its roots in a schooldays French lesson one wet winter Wednesday: that lesson included an introduction to the writing of Albert Camus and it has been but a short step, accomplished in a mere four decades, from that point to becoming a writer himself. His first love might be science fiction, albeit the sub-class of the genre that he calls 'believable sci-fi', but he has on occasion (and this book is evidence of the fact) wandered into other areas. Some people seem to like these occasional forays. The point has been reached in his life where, whenever he is passed by a big, slow-moving, black, estate car, he asserts that he actually feels quite jealous of whoever is lying down in the back. If, therefore, he is to attain his ambition of being an answer to a crossword clue in one of the better Sunday newspapers he really needs you and all your friends to buy copies of his books! Until the point arrives where he actually gets his ride in that big black car he expects to carry on living in North Wales, where his life is dominated by a wife and lamenting the loss of his border collie bitch.