Keep Your Kilt Pulled Down
This is not a story that should start with "once upon a time". This is a Southern fairy tale, and they always start with "you ain't gonna believe this crap." This is an unfortunate start for a book about the facts of my life. Settle back to enjoy some lighthearted stories of a Southern Scottish family. It's silly, unprofessional, and probably unreadable, but hey, Columbus took a chance.