The Hillbilly Vampire Chronicles

By Lucky Press
$2.99 Rating: Not yet rated.
Published: Nov. 20, 2011
Words: 70423 (approximate)
Language: English

Ebook short description

By Tonto Fielding, Author. Gideon Chickenstalker is a 400-pound vampire from the hills of southern Ohio. He may be the most inept vampire in history. The Hillbilly Vampire Chronicles is filled with some of saddest people you will ever meet in fiction, yet their earnest attempts to navigate daily life teeter on the edge of bizarre hilarity.

Extended description

By Tonto Fielding, Author. Gideon Chickenstalker is a 400-pound vampire from the hills of southern Ohio. He may be the most inept vampire in history. The Hillbilly Vampire Chronicles is filled with some of saddest people you will ever meet in fiction, yet their earnest attempts to navigate daily life teeter on the edge of bizarre hilarity. Fieldings' novel brings to life the story of Appalachia’s drug abusers, perverts, and a cast of folk who scull the parlous straits between comedy and calamity with only the devil to pay.

A Star Trek geek taken to having sex with cantaloupes, Gideon finds companionship with Esther Gradgrind, a meth-addicted ex-stripper, only to have his life forever altered when he is turned into a vampire. Being so out of shape, he finds himself unable to hunt down even one human. Along with her washed-up bodybuilder boyfriend, Amos Pecksniff, Esther helps Gideon with his ultimate goal of tasting real human blood, all the while ending up in a life of crime that wo... (Read more) By Tonto Fielding, Author. Gideon Chickenstalker is a 400-pound vampire from the hills of southern Ohio. He may be the most inept vampire in history. The Hillbilly Vampire Chronicles is filled with some of saddest people you will ever meet in fiction, yet their earnest attempts to navigate daily life teeter on the edge of bizarre hilarity. Fieldings' novel brings to life the story of Appalachia’s drug abusers, perverts, and a cast of folk who scull the parlous straits between comedy and calamity with only the devil to pay.

A Star Trek geek taken to having sex with cantaloupes, Gideon finds companionship with Esther Gradgrind, a meth-addicted ex-stripper, only to have his life forever altered when he is turned into a vampire. Being so out of shape, he finds himself unable to hunt down even one human. Along with her washed-up bodybuilder boyfriend, Amos Pecksniff, Esther helps Gideon with his ultimate goal of tasting real human blood, all the while ending up in a life of crime that would make Bonnie and Clyde deny their profession.
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Adult-content rating:

This book contains content considered unsuitable for young readers 17 and under, and which may be offensive to some readers of all ages. For more information, see the Support FAQ.

Tags

comedy, appalachia, appalachian mountains, vampire comedy, appalachian fiction

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