Cop Show Heaven

By Lawrence Gray
$0.99 Rating: Not yet rated.
Published: Dec. 30, 2011
Words: 55,490 (approximate)
Language: English
ISBN: 9781466076389

Short description

A character from a cop show finds himself killed off and heading to cop show Heaven, a leased piece of Hell where dead directors can keep on making movies.

Extended description

THE HOOK
“Right. This is what the writer's got on you. So this is insider knowledge. And I’m giving it to you cos I likes
you, brother. I don’t do none of this for nobody else.”
“You’re bullshitting aren’t you?”
“Hell, sure I am. But I’m God. I gotta at least seem all merciful and benevolent. So listen up. Here’s the (Read more) THE HOOK
“Right. This is what the writer's got on you. So this is insider knowledge. And I’m giving it to you cos I likes
you, brother. I don’t do none of this for nobody else.”
“You’re bullshitting aren’t you?”
“Hell, sure I am. But I’m God. I gotta at least seem all merciful and benevolent. So listen up. Here’s the
word: A character in a popular cop show, Dan Symmonds, is written out of the series and finds himself
lingering in Cop Show Heaven. Here he must try and discover some depth to his personality in order to
inspire a writer to re-invent him.
"Cop Show Heaven came into existence because heaven rented part of hell to allow dead directors the
pleasure of making movies – I mean, there ain’t no conflict in heaven, so you can’t do good movies in
heaven. Right? Anyway, the Devil wants it back and is not allowing heaven to renew the lease … Now that
is a long story! But it aint your problem. That’s mine. So, you just gotta get with the programme and get on
with it …
"Now, where was I? Ah, yes: Lance Stirling, a dead director noted for making talking monkey movies,
wants to make a serious flick about the handover and he casts Dan Symmonds – that’s you – as the hero.
Dan however, becomes embroiled with the family of one of the stuntmen, Fizzy Tang. Fizzy, seeing a
future for Dan, wants him to seduce his ex-wife and take her away with him to the fabled land of
Hollywood. He fears that if she does not go with Dan, she will forever have custody of his daughter, Lily.
Dan however … Oh, you don’t need to know all this shit …”
“Go on.”
“No, I don’t think I should do that. Otherwise you’ll think it is all predestined.”
“Isn’t it?”
“You have choice.”
“I’m a character out of a cop show, what choice do I have other than following the script?”
“You gotta behave as if you do have choice. If I give you the script, then how’s that gonna look?”
“It’s gonna … going to look like I’ve learnt my part. That’s what.”
“But you aint an actor. You is a character. There's a difference. The actor learns the part. You is the
part. Right? Get it?”
“Oh.”
“Jeremy Irons is an actor. And if you don’t buck your ideas up, you're going end up being played by
him!”
“That’s not good is it?”
“Too right it’s not good.”
(Less)

Tags

roman a clef, hong kong, cop shows, film making, comedy fantasy, comedy fiction, satire comedy, fantasy comedy, twisted reality

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