on March 02, 2012 :
This book is riddled with technical errors: grammar, spelling, punctuation, and format. Its style veers back and forth between adult-oriented and young-adult. There are problems in the early backstory-references, and even a touch of "deus ex machina" in the mix.
I really shouldn't love it as much as I did. But I do. I read it in one sitting, unable to look away even for lunch.
From an old, much-traveled writer to a new one: Get yourself a good, sharp-eyed editor! The story is terrific, the characterizations are gripping, and the setting is first-rate, but a profusion of low-level mistakes can undo all of that. Also and more important, a good editor can spot your stylistic wobbles and your plot deviances far better than you can. You have the storyteller's gift; a good editor will help you to bring it to maximum power.
It's rather a pity that Carniform isn't suited to a sequel; the city's future, and Petrarch's exploration of the wilds beyond, could be fascinating. However, this story has been properly tied off. I hope you'll proceed on to another.
4.5 stars for the technical errors, but otherwise, well done!
(review of free book)