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Matthew Christopher Benner is an author from the east coast somewhere. I'm thinking Maine but I could be confusing him with a good writer. Pretty sure he lives near West Chester but google maps showed a bunch of West Chesters. If I had to guess, I'd say... West Chester, Illinois... though I'm basing that on nothing. Not one single thing. In fact, I'm pretty sure Illinois was one of the few states without a West Chester. Anyway, he has children, several of 'em - both girls that hopefully take after their mothers. And he's got trades besides "writing", seems to gather them like shot glasses: a licensed massage therapist because he's creepy and wants to touch people; a bartender, probably because no one would let him massage them without alcohol since he's so creepy; an avionics technician, 'cause why not, I guess; and he's a thief - I know of one time in particular when he stole the woman of a guy who writes author's bios for a living. These are just facts, just listing facts about him, just a list--bunch of stuff, all equally important for you to know about Matthew Christopher Benner. Really, all you need to know is that he never succeeds. And also that he's balding.