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on June 26, 2013 :
I picked this up when I was looking for Slender Man stories. Priced at 'Free', and with one five star review on Smashwords, I figured it was worth a look.
Johnson presents a two part story with this tale, and individually they aren't too bad. The first sets up the second, allowing the reader to get a good view of how Slender Man does what he does. The second follows a detective as he tries to solve the mystery of Slender Man and the missing children.
However, what had the potential to be a fairly good story got bogged down with a severe lack of editing and plot holes. Missing commas, lowercase names, improperly done dialogue, 'Alone In The Dark' is lousy with editorial problems. Had Johnson had someone look over this story, it would have easily been a three star story. But as it is, due to all the errors it was hard for me to rank it even as a two star.
One other issue I had was towards the end. The detective collects the means to defeat Slender Man from one part of a set of twins, the other who currently is imprisoned by Slender Man. The part that makes no sense is the fact that this imprisoned/tortured/whatever twin somehow is allowed to wander around Slender Man's domain. In doing so he is allowed into the creature's library where he not only learns the monster's language, but also finds the manner to defeat Slender Man in one of the books. It makes me wonder why something as evil as the Slender Man would just have the means of his destruction laying around for anyone to find. This leads, along with other events, to a very deus ex machina ending which left me feeling let down.
Another problem I ran into is the fact that in the second story, the detective hears a telling of what happens in the first part of the story. As the reader has already read the first story, this becomes simple filler and highly repetitive.
Still, 'Alone In The Dark' does contain, at its core, a very interesting story that given work, would be a fairly good tale. I am just saddened that it didn't see the work it deserved before being published on Smashwords.
(review of free book)
bob smith VIII
on Sep. 12, 2012 :
This Story intrigued me from the beginning... Starts out slow but picks up quite quickly. I enjoyed it from electronic cover to cover. Very nice use of description... gave me night mares actually... I recommend this book to anyone that is looking for a good read that will chill their bones. A twisted in look into the mind of madness. Anyone who has a child will be thoroughly disturbed but entertained none the less.
(review of free book)