Antimony and Lead

Rated 4.00/5 based on 1 reviews
It's 2013 and the world ended weeks ago. Lacey's world just ended, though - she's been cast out of the safe bunker she called home with her husband and sister-wives. Now she's got to figure out where she should go and who she can trust to stay alive in post-apocalyptic Utah.
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Price: Free! USD

Words: 5,060
Language: English
ISBN: 9781301145515
About Jack Vivace

Jack works in numbers by day and letters by night.

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Reviews

Review by: Francis W. Porretto on Oct. 04, 2012 :
This is nicely written, and free of technical flaws, but the characterization of Lacey, the most important part of the story, doesn't come off. I would say that the meat of the problem lies in this:

“I can’t stay here anymore, Janie.”
“But- the quarantine. We have to.”
“They can’t stop us if we just drive.”
“I’ve never been further than Provo, Lacey. Where would we go?”
“Someplace nobody knows us. I want to see who I am when no one else is around. I think I met
her in the desert. I think I liked her.”

Your main character, who is also the narrator, is announcing a change in herself. That's not forbidden, but there wasn't enough build-up to it. A young woman who went through what Lacey did should have reflected over it internally to a greater degree than you allowed her. Another way of putting it would be to say that you favored the external action of the story somewhat too greatly over the internal development of your main character.

However, I have to give you big points for a smooth style and capable handling of an unusual setting for a post-apocalyptic story. That subgenre of SF is pretty badly glutted, and the stories tend to resemble one another far too strongly. Yours doesn't have that problem.

A suggestion: Find a copy of Harlan Ellison's old "Dangerous Visious" anthology and read Henry Slesar's story "Ersatz." I promise you'll get a chill out of it, at the very least!
(review of free book)

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