The Ten Second Time Traveller

Rated 4.00/5 based on 6 reviews
Extremely short story about the problems with time travel.

Recently (October 5th 2012) I was in the pub with Mick Carter discussing short story writing. As the conversation got to what could be achieved with the shortest amount of words, yet be able to still tell a reasonably decent story we decided to set a challenge for ourselves and write a story in around 500 hundred words or less. More
Download: epub mobi (Kindle) pdf more Online Reader
Price: Free! USD
Words: 510
Language: English
ISBN: 9781301818273
About Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?
O.K then...here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!

Well for starters you can contact me on milthyswinebuckle@gmail.com

My Hobbies:
1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by....passes the time if nothing else!
2_managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive you say! Well. What I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with was still inside the pig!
3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he where ever to catch fire
4_scratching my arse!
5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!
6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.
7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!
8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?
9_Plus...yawning, farting, drinking ten bottles of brown, smoking (various substances) and how to become immune to getting kneed in the balls from various women who find my charming advances not to their liking!

MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).

My most famous quotes:
1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!
2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees
3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!
4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!
5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!
6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.
7 As far as I am concerned you should not judge a fellow person on there looks, sex, race or beliefs. Their are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with there lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites who want to tell you what you should do and how you should be doing it.

My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!

My Arch Enemies:
1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squakes and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as....Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc..., but to me I shall always know him as Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face....ARSEWIPE).
2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish....Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)
3_Randy Stodgeflaps....not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!

Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only i can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing "KNICKERS" or"ARSE" or some other filthy word. It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSHOLES, PANTS,......oh bugger".

PS: Milthy ya little ninnyhammer, how are things. I ain't heard from ya me old buddy for some time. I hope you've not been arrested again for snorting tadpoles out'ta Mrs.Plunderthunks fish-pond....ya dirty little sod?

Also by This Author

Reviews

Review by: James Jenkins on March 11, 2014 :
A nice one minute story about 10 seconds
(review of free book)

Review by: Rik Hunik on July 04, 2013 :
Talk about a case of bad timing. I love the idea, and even though the writing would benefit from a bit of polish this concise little story is definitely worth spending the time to read.
(review of free book)

Review by: Emily Carter on April 25, 2013 :
This is a really fun little story. You did really well Jonny, I remember when this challenge was set and it took mick a couple of attempts and I barely saw him! This story is great, you don't need to add anymore to it, it's all there. Good work with 500 words.
(review of free book)

Review by: Rob Wilkins on Jan. 22, 2013 :
A neat little idea that is quite compact. It could use just a little polish and clarification here and there -- I had to read it a couple of times to fill in a blank that was making me a bit cross-eyed -- but the story itself is solid and the idea simple and entertaining. Worth a quick read.
(review of free book)

Review by: Jamie J. Buchanan on Dec. 17, 2012 :
An interesting little tale. As an experiment of a 500 word short story (or Flash Fiction), it works in that it conveys the story, tells a tale and has a plot. The odd grammar issue doesn't detract from the story too much, just needs a little tidy-up. It could be altered and extended (not by much, mind) to explain things a little better - with only 500 words to work with, it's not always easy to get everything across as perfectly as you'd like. This is quite good indeed. - cheers.
(review of free book)

Review by: Michael Carter on Oct. 09, 2012 :
All you need for a short sharp story is that one central idea, the one weight upon which the story hangs. I salute Jonny Strickland for producing, in around two days, a fine cautionary tale of time-travel.

We've all seen The Terminator and Twelve Monkeys etc, and the whole time-travel paradox theme is very familiar, but here we see how a simple idea, cleverly compacted, and well written can bring a fresh angle on an old theme.

As Jonny states in his story description, we had a kind of writing challenge to produce a brand new story in around 100 words, within a week. Jonny here has produced his fine story and met all the criteria; try it yourself, it's harder than you'd think. My own attempt, Skippy Jack Joe, is here on smashwords too, but is, I think, less focused than Jonny's tale.

Check out this fun sci-fi story for a quick, satisfying, and head-scratching read.
(review of free book)

Report this book