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on Oct. 18, 2012 :
I was just about to post my own review when I noticed the previous one and found it highlighted exactly the same qualms I had with this otherwise very good story. Yes, some of the dialogue felt a little awkward due to the lack of contractions - I wasn't sure if this was deliberate to suggest that Lisa is well-bred, but I found it very hard to visualise a character speaking some of the lines aturally. Yes, I too found myself confused as to which of the lines in speech marks were supposed to be speech and which were just thoughts. And yes, I too thought Rick's post-murder anxiety seemed too drawn out and unnatural for a supposedly experienced murderer who seemed very cock-sure of himself before the act.
But otherwise it was pretty good... Wasn't sure to award it a 3 or a 4 but I'll be generous on this occasion, and the two reviews so far will give it an average score of 3.5 which is about right.
(review of free book)
on Oct. 17, 2012 :
This was a strange one. Horror is something I enjoy reading, so from the description this was right up my alley. And it was, to a certain extent. The storyline was solid, and I really enjoyed the twist at the end. How everything played out in the story made for an enjoyable read.
But there were a couple of things that stood out and confused me, which ultimately took away from the reading experience.
The first of these being the biggest. There didn’t seem to be any distinction between inner dialogue and speech. All were defined by speech marks, making it appear as though they were all spoken aloud, even though some of them were clearly not. In the areas of the story where it wasn’t so clear whether the words were speech of thought this served to confuse me.
Secondly, the dialogue seemed stinted and unnatural. This was mainly because of the lack of contractions used.
Lastly is more of a personal feeling regarding horror and murder. It seemed to me that the main character, Rick, should have enjoyed the kill more, taken his time over it more. And certainly if he had killed as much as the story seems to claim, he should have been a lot less anxious over it.
(review of free book)