Initial Kiss

Rated 3.40/5 based on 5 reviews
Kayla desperately needs cash for the closing on her house. When her best friend finds an escort ad in the paper promising nothing sexual, she finds herself intrigued. When she goes to meet James, she is stunned. He's gorgeous! But they both agree that this is a business arrangement. So what should they do about the mutual attraction they both feel?

Part I of of The Kiss Trilogy
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Price: Free! USD

Words: 8,200
Language: English
ISBN: 9781301615032

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Reviews

Review by: Elizabeth Mitchell on Nov. 19, 2012 :
Not too bad. I think some parts could have been improved such as the development of the two characters but I understand this is a short story. Quite entertaining nevertheless.
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Review by: The Indigo Plume Publishing Company on Nov. 03, 2012 :
It was very okay for me. I noticed a few typos, and I wasn't really a fan of James. He just doesn't strike me as a very nice guy.
(review of free book)

Review by: Shaneka Richardson on Oct. 30, 2012 :
Love it!!
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Review by: Irene Kiew on Oct. 25, 2012 :
Too many unanswered questions. Why is it so important to Kayla to buy a house RIGHT NOW that she is willing to take the risk of answering an unorthodox ad in order to get the money? Why is it so important for James to deceive his family, to the point of being willing to pay $4,500 to hire someone to pose as his girlfriend? So what if they've been bugging him to get married--he's 32, isn't he man enough to stand up to them? Besides, why doesn't he want to spend Christmas with his family?

I suppose these questions might be answered later as there are 2 more installments to go in this trilogy, but the lack of answers made the characters seem flat. Because we're not given any good reasons for the motivations behind their individual actions, I wasn't able to identify with them or understand why they made the decisions they did. There's no emotional punch.

Furthermore, despite both Kayla and James avowing that they absolutely do not want a relationship at this point in time, they don't seem to be fighting their attraction to each other very strongly. There's no inner conflict, no "What am I doing?", no "Oh no, how could this be happening?", no "Should I continue with this?". No, they just seem happy to go wih the flow, and it doesn't jive. Again, the author wasted an opportunity to inject some real emotion into the story and pull the reader into her characters' feelings.

As a result, I wasn't emotionally invested in the characters and didn't feel a need to root for them to get their happily-ever-after. Everything is going so smoothly that it's clear they're already happy together, and I don't see a need to read the rest of the trilogy to get the answer. I'm pleased though that the book didn't end on a cliffhanger, because that would've annoyed me a lot, but the author could have injected a little more conflict--either internal conflict or conflict between the characters--to liven up the story. As it is, the story is sweet, but that's all it is. Sweet.

Two more things that bugged me: Who in this day and age would receive a form through email, fill it up and fax it back? I would have filled it up and sent it back through email. I don't know if the typical American has a fax machine in the house but most of the rest of the world doesn't, unless you are operating a business from home. And a reply fax saying, "Check your email"? Really? At first I thought this story might have been written in the 90s, which might account for the use of the fax, but then I realised the next installment in the trilogy is coming out in Oct 2012.

Finally, are you telling me James is a LAWYER and he hires someone to pose as his girlfriend without checking out her background? Like, sure, he sends her a detailed questionnaire, but doesn't he for one moment take into account the possibility that she might be lying through her teeth? What kind of lawyer takes peoples' answers at face value, especially when $4,500 is at stake? And he doesn't think through the scheme from every angle before implementing it, so it never even occurs to him that there must be some signs of physical affection between him and Kayla in order to successfully fool his family into believing that she's his girlfriend? The success of his legal firm must be down to sheer luck, it seems to me!
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Review by: hrhsophia on Oct. 16, 2012 :
Great start would like to read more
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