Smashwords Writing Duel

Rated 4.63/5 based on 8 reviews
Trevor Ian Thomson was one clever guy. He began reviewing on Smashwords, taking great pleasure criticising mistakes within stories, be they bad spelling to bad grammar.

But when challenged to write his own story by an author called Jack Van Mason the reviews he received where at times as critical as his own. The only difference being that there criticism fell upon his ideas and originality. More
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About Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?
O.K then...here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!

Well for starters you can contact me on milthyswinebuckle@gmail.com

My Hobbies:
1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by....passes the time if nothing else!
2_managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive you say! Well. What I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with was still inside the pig!
3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he where ever to catch fire
4_scratching my arse!
5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!
6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.
7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!
8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?
9_Plus...yawning, farting, drinking ten bottles of brown, smoking (various substances) and how to become immune to getting kneed in the balls from various women who find my charming advances not to their liking!

MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).

My most famous quotes:
1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!
2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees
3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!
4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!
5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!
6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.
7 As far as I am concerned you should not judge a fellow person on there looks, sex, race or beliefs. Their are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with there lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites who want to tell you what you should do and how you should be doing it.

My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!

My Arch Enemies:
1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squakes and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as....Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc..., but to me I shall always know him as Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face....ARSEWIPE).
2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish....Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)
3_Randy Stodgeflaps....not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!

Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only i can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing "KNICKERS" or"ARSE" or some other filthy word. It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSHOLES, PANTS,......oh bugger".

PS: Milthy ya little ninnyhammer, how are things. I ain't heard from ya me old buddy for some time. I hope you've not been arrested again for snorting tadpoles out'ta Mrs.Plunderthunks fish-pond....ya dirty little sod?

Also by This Author

Reviews

Review by: Jeff McDargh on Feb. 05, 2014 :
“Won of the best storys on Smasshwords ive ever red.”
Starts off fun with the back and forth and ends with a bit deeper back story of Linda. Nicely done.
I didn’t see Linda’s character as weak, but more…. lived.
God, I'm glad “Clever Trevor” hasn’t found me yet and I'm starting to agree with some of the reviews of this and your other stories. Dammit, I wish id thought of that story first!
Great job, thanks
(review of free book)

Review by: Mervyn Walker on Sep. 18, 2013 :
A great story - black humour abounds, and I'm still uncertain whether there were deliberate miftakes. Entertaining and recommended.
(review of free book)

Review by: Melody Hewson on May 04, 2013 :
While “Clever Trever” would give this story a scathing 1 star, I found it perfectly readable despite the errors and thought it deserved a bit more.

After receiving several very appreciated reviews from this author, I decided to take a well earned break and look into a few of their own stories, and what better story to start with than one about Smashwords?
While not quite what I was expecting, I found the story to be quite amusing, and could almost be convinced that the errors were intentional, put there to annoy the various “Clever Trevers” that we've all come across.
Interesting twist about the other character in the story as well. Overall, very cute and creative short story with a rather amusing ending. Admittedly, the odd use of the apostrophes threw me a bit at first, but once I got past that, the rest was easy to overlook. I would definitely recommend this short to others and looking forward to my next break to read another one.
(review of free book)

Review by: Emily Carter on April 17, 2013 :
I thought this such a fascinating concept, and found myself wondering why nobody had thought of it as a subject to write about before now. Maybe it was too much of a touchy subject on both sides of the fence! The author however handled the subject with his usual wit and style and the result was an amazing story which I'm sure got us all thinking, writers and readersalike. Great job Jonny!
(review of free book)

Review by: I M Vayne on March 28, 2013 :
You sure made it hard for anyone to post a negative review, what with the person sitting on our shoulder. I liked the fact that the more I read the more engrossed in the story I became. The only criticism I have is that the Linda character may have been a little weak, but that in no way detracts for what I read. Plus I could really relate as I have posted reviews but am still hard a work on my own masterpiece.
(review of free book)

Review by: Rob Wilkins on Jan. 06, 2013 :
Laugh-out-loud funny in places, entertainingly self-aware and compelling, with unexpected twists thrown in to season the pot. Kick your inner editor in the teeth, sit back, read and enjoy.
(review of free book)

Review by: Michael Carter on Nov. 04, 2012 :
Jonny Stricklands new story is a clever, entertaining and thoughtful story about one of my favourite subjects, writing and writers.

Using this very own smashwords as a basis, and therefore bang up to date, the story tells of a group of smashwords contributors who, through their stories, reviews, and profiles begin to have an online feud with each other, which escalates to events that produce surprising conclusions.

Even though I know Jonny Strickland personally, I thought this was a fabulous story; it contains some of his best writing yet and manages to be both wise and funny. I didn't see the twists coming at all, and I found myself grinning like an idiot while readiing it. It has some very thought-provoking things to say about the art of writing, and about the appreciation of writing.

The beauty of the story is that, even though it is set in a smashwords setting, the basic premise - human nature - could be appliied to all manner of things like facebook posts, twitter accounts or blogs, or to any forum of creativity.

I really loved this story, and if you have even just a casual interest in writing, reading or reviewing here at smashwords, then you'll love it too.
(review of free book)

Review by: Ernest Winchester on Nov. 02, 2012 :
As I began reading this story, I started to think of the irony of a simple grammatical error early on, (there for their). But then I saw it throughout and I wondered if perhaps the author was pulling our collective leg. (Which one, I won’t speculate about.) Could it be the British way of spelling? Either way, I did love his story, but fear looking in the mirror and seeing myself.
(review of free book)

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