Colin's Head Bumps
Aussie Colin has a fall, and then another, to find not long afterwards that he has two bumps on his head which say hello to him in the morning. Life hasn’t been too good for Colin lately, and perhaps these talking bumps might change his life. And he’s lost his job and forced to go on benefit. More
Aussie Colin has a fall, and then another, to find not long afterwards that he has two bumps on his head which say hello to him in the morning. Life hasn’t been too good for Colin lately, and perhaps these talking bumps might change his life. And he’s lost his job and forced to go on benefit. Another quirky tale by the author of Henry’s War Effort.
The first one came when Colin inextricably fell to the pavement one morning on his way to work. Revived by passers by, an ambulance was then called and New York Downtown Hospital general admissions took him in. After the tests, no concussion or brain injury was found, and Colin was let go with just a bump on the back of his head. But not feeling too well, Colin called work on his mobile to say he wasn’t coming in and went home.
Two days later while Colin is shaving, the bump on the back of his head suddenly moves to the bridge of his nose, opens its scabby eyes and pinhole mouth and says hello to Colin in Colin’s voice. Anybody normal would freak and jump the nearest window, but Colin, in his low state of mind, said hello back. And after breakfast they went out together for a walk.
And believe it or not Colin fell again, though the fall was not as bad as the first. He didn’t need to go to hospital. And now there are two bumps on Colin’s head which say hello in Colin’s voice. Fine, said Colin to himself. I hate my job, I live alone, I don’t get on with my parents, and money’s tight….fine. I can live with a couple of bumps that say hello to me in my own voice. Anyway it’s been awhile since anyone, a lover, my mother, anyone, has said hello to me in the bathroom first thing in the morning.
He wasn’t taking any more chances though. No more walks for awhile, eh. Two bumps which opened their scabby eyes and said hello to him first thing in the morning, was enough. Often they said it together. It was like hearing excited siblings clamouring for his attention. So Colin rang his work and said he was still too ill to come in. His boss suggested he take his holidays. He needn’t worry, he wouldn’t be sacked. Colin was one of the sharper economists working in the financial district of New York.