Hi there Sci Fi fans, my name is Maurice Humphrey.
I am a Vermont native, husband, father, grandfather, well over 60, Navy veteran, retired IBM engineer, retired printer repairman, Graduated: Goddard Jr. College, VT Technical College, and Trinity College. Over the years I’ve written technical articles, taught technical classes, and presented at technical conventions.
I’ve been reading science fiction for over 50 years now. First books were “Journey to the Centre of the Earth” by Jules Verne and “The Stars Are Ours” by Andre Norton. I’ve read and collected many great stories, and a considerable amount of junk ones as well. I’d say by now that I probably have a good idea of what I consider a good story.
on Feb. 11, 2013 :
Thank you for your free book :) Just finished reading it. When I first noticed that your story was 82 pages i thought, "well that is short" But after I started reading I coudn't help but thinking it was long. As a reader you are presented with a lot of everyday things and not much "action" The story is simply to flat. There are a few interesting moments, such as the old indian and the end of the book. But in reading the book, you are also presented with a lot of information that isn't necessary. The first thought that came to mind after finishing the book was "was that it?" I suppose I was hoping for something major in the end. You've categorised the book as beeing a horror book, with that I expect raising heart beat and getting a bit scared. But no nightmares for me tonight :)
Anyways I didn't intend to write a review just to harass you and I also have some compliments for you :)
I am not much of a sort story reader, and i dont know the standard for such. But since this book isn't very long, maybe its under the category "short story"? don't know.. so maybe this type of story with a bit of a flat plot is what a short story should be like? if so, well then forget all about my negative review :)
Other than that I think you write well and you present the charactors pretty good. In my opinion you have nice writing skills and no doubt you can write a good book, you just need a better plot. Or maybe just add some more "action or horror" to this story.
the 4 stars is for your writing ability :)
the story itself i would give 2-3 stars
(review of free book)