The Back Side of Love
He showed up, wanting to have sex. He said I was his wife and he had the right to be with me, I refused. Then he pushed and shoved me. After a while I was pushing and shoving too, trying to get him off of me. Trapped behind his fist, I tried to run past him. I could not get by. The gun gave me the courage to run into him. I did not think it would go off, but it did. I was too afraid to look back. More
His jealousy had finally divided us. Now we were living in separate homes. I felt like he was stalking me; watching my every move. I did not even feel safe using the restroom, because I believed he was even watching me in there. The love we had was now beyond scary and even more confusing than before. We both could have easily walked away, but for some reason we had not decided to leave each other alone. Then one day he did it. He set me up, because he believed that I had forced him out of the house and out of his mind. He left to return as someone else. The problem was he was not another person. He was in the same body, with the same skin. Nothing was different about him, yet he called me and talked about us as if we both were someone other than who we really were. I did not know him. He talked of friends we knew whom we really did not know. It was almost unreal. I did not know whether he was pretending or if it was all real to him. I could not figure any of it out. I was convinced that he was out of his mind.
I came to looking into a flash light in the hand of the police officer who had come out to arrest me. He handcuffed me and placed me in the back of his car to be transported to a place I had been warned against. A place unfit for the human race, now it was looking like it would be my home. I was told that I might have to spend the night. I was afraid; not of the other people, but the conditions. They passed out sandwiches to eat with nothing to drink. The restroom was open where even the men could see. The phones were restricted. I did not know what was going to happen to me. I wished I had been shot, at least then I would not have to continue in this nightmare. I had been left to carry the brunt of our issues. The weight had finally worn me down. It all had become a cross too heavy to bear any longer. My mind started to play tricks on me as well. I did not know how I would escape jail or his claws. The both seemed impossible.
That morning he just showed up. He wanted to have sex. He said I was his wife and he had the right to be with me. He insisted that I do it. I refused. Then he pushed and shoved me. After a while I was pushing and shoving too, trying to get him off of me. It continued; he at me and me back at him. Trapped behind his fist, I tried to run past him. I could not get by. I tried harder and harder using all the force I could, but no matter what I did I could not get away from him. He was tall and muscular, and I a small frame woman. I reached for the gun, hoping he would move. He did not. The gun gave me the courage to run into him. I did not think it would go off, but it did. I was too afraid to look back. So I kept running, and so did he. He ran after me, promising not to let me get away. He was fearless. There was nowhere left to run. I had reached a cliff. I had two options; jump or fall down. I feared for my life. I knew if I stopped he would take the gun and possibly my life.