The Teacher Syndrome

Rated 2.50/5 based on 4 reviews
A very brief story about Adriana and her heartbreak.
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Price: Free! USD
Words: 1,090
Language: English
About Aaralyn Griffin

hey, as the name says, i'm aaralyn :]
i LOVE sweet food, anime, yummy food, food in general, i'm a vegitarian, and as you can see from this account, i like writing too

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Reviews

Review by: David Blake on June 02, 2013 :
I have to agree with the other reviewers. This story was too much like a first draft that the author hadn't even read through; there were flashes of good writing but lots of errors - words missed out and so forth.
The story itself hints at an illicit affair but needs tightening up as it's a bit too ambiguous and confusing, such as how the teacher's brother comes to be involved. I mean, yes, I can come up with a theory or two, but it's pure guesswork rather than piecing together clues from the narrative. Given how everything else is told by suggestion, it's also a bit clumsy that the text has to explain that Collin is Mr Arturo's brother the moment he is introduced. So, a score of 2 from me, but with better editing this could have been a 4.
(review of free book)

Review by: I M Vayne on May 13, 2013 :
Don't want to discourage the author from continuing to write, but you really need to rewrite and proofread your stories before posting. I agree with the other reviewer that your story has potential. Still, along with the technical faults the characters just weren't developed enough. The way you get better is to keep writing, which I hope you will.
(review of free book)

Review by: hrhsophia on April 09, 2013 :
I read through twice but I am still a bit confused and without spoiling it for others I will say that it has potential.
(review of free book)

Review by: Steph Anne on April 09, 2013 :
Good. Short but that's known upfront in the description. Noticed a few missed edits but that didn't take away from the story. Just enough to intrigue and would be interested in reading more about this character.
(review of free book)

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