Who am I? Well, I have been described as, or likened to: Napoleon Bonaparte, Napoleon Dynamite, Jesus, Hitler, a goat, a character called “the Fool” (a cross between Buddha, Capt Jack Sparrow, and a drag queen as far as I can tell), a dark horse, a small aggressive parrot, a free spirit, a genuine gentleman, a dick, a woman, a grey man (the guy who looks like a nobody but actually has an AK47 in his pants), a teetotaller, a drunk, an emo, a realist, some Arab guy, an Italian, a Frenchman, an effing foreigner, a true patriot, that dude from Evermore, a serial killer, your friend whose name I do not share and have never met (I don’t know you okay so stop treating me like you do, it's creepy, who are you?), a homeless man, a senile Jedi knight, a Trojan (either the horse, the virus, the people who got slaughtered by the Greeks, a condom, or a crazy mofo battler. I don’t really know), a large purple safety mascot, a fast bastard, a cheap bastard, a bastard, an intellectual sponge, an actual sponge, funny (as in strange funny), funny (as in ha ha funny), cute, creepy, and impressive. If you can make any sense of this then you’re doing better than me.