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I was born in York, the youngest of 6 children, and educated at Scarborough High School for Boys, where, during an A-level course in English, John Milton's Paradise Lost books 4 and 9, drove me to play truant permanently, and I was expelled from school. Not knowing what to do, I joined the RAF and became a Russian linguist. I have "not known what to do" ever since. I discussed with a friend recently that I had to write 100 words about myself for the inside cover of this book. He said, "I can do that in THREE - you're a twat!" I think that just about sums me up!