A Week And A Day In The Lives Of Two Angry Young Men

Rated 3.73/5 based on 11 reviews
Story about two young friends/rivals who haven't seen eachother for some time, meet up again to reminisce about the past and to take part in a local cooking competion. Unknown to one though, hatred and madness has grown within the other.

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About Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?
O.K then...here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!

Well for starters you can contact me on milthyswinebuckle@gmail.com

My Hobbies:
1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by....passes the time if nothing else!
2_managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive you say! Well. What I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with was still inside the pig!
3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he where ever to catch fire
4_scratching my arse!
5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!
6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.
7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!
8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?
9_Plus...yawning, farting, drinking ten bottles of brown, smoking (various substances) and how to become immune to getting kneed in the balls from various women who find my charming advances not to their liking!

MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).

My most famous quotes:
1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!
2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees
3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!
4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!
5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!
6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.
7 As far as I am concerned you should not judge a fellow person on there looks, sex, race or beliefs. Their are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with there lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites who want to tell you what you should do and how you should be doing it.

My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!

My Arch Enemies:
1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squakes and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as....Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc..., but to me I shall always know him as Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face....ARSEWIPE).
2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish....Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)
3_Randy Stodgeflaps....not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!

Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only i can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing "KNICKERS" or"ARSE" or some other filthy word. It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSHOLES, PANTS,......oh bugger".

PS: Milthy ya little ninnyhammer, how are things. I ain't heard from ya me old buddy for some time. I hope you've not been arrested again for snorting tadpoles out'ta Mrs.Plunderthunks fish-pond....ya dirty little sod?

Also by This Author

Reviews

Review by: James Jenkins on Oct. 23, 2014 :
I read this on a Kindle white, the two different points of view use font to define them, both are in the same font on my kindle...

I was mostly able to tell who was talking ( I think). I did not find the story particularly interesting.
(review of free book)

Review by: Ray Hecht on Dec. 29, 2013 :
That cover is particularly disturbing if you make it to the end. Be careful with spoons!

In the esteemed tradition of the epistolary format, these diary entries tell it all...

Don't trifle with the Kind of the Leprechauns indeed.
(review of free book)

Review by: Jeff McDargh on Oct. 26, 2013 :
Ok loved the story. Laughed my ass off towards the end.
Thanks for the review. One star ok, a half hour to read and you
didn’t finish?
(review of free book)

Review by: Jamie J. Buchanan on Oct. 20, 2013 :
At first i wasn't sure what to make of the obvious grammar errors (surely the writer is better than that? I thought). Then I realised the point of them - the narrative and the personalities behind them. An interesting tale that won't be for everyone. I didn't "LOL" like other reviewers but it was an amusing and humourous tale. Cheers!
(review of free book)

Review by: M.C. Sburlea on Oct. 02, 2013 :
interesting and funny. made me laugh quite loud toward the end. I love how you showed their points of view.
(review of free book)

Review by: Gavin Murphy on Oct. 02, 2013 :
I reckon I'v met a few people like the two in this story. Nearly broke my ribs laughing. Long live the King of the Leprechauns!
(review of free book)

Review by: Walter Lazo on Oct. 01, 2013 :
By the Glorious Beast, this story made my day. Funny and vicious at the same time, I couldn't help laughing, even when I knew I shouldn't--large wooden spoon, indeed!
(review of free book)

Review by: Daryn Walters on Sep. 27, 2013 :
I suppose writing a book is an interpretation of our personality and imagination. Self publication lets everyone get in print. BUT, I wouldn't classify this as a 'good read' by any means. I struggled with it and unfortunately, no matter how I tried, could not get to the end of the story. I wasted half an hour of my time with what I did read.
(review of free book)

Review by: Michael Carter on Sep. 24, 2013 :
This fun story was created in one of our writing challenges in 2002. A small group of friends and writers each suggested various themes or topics for short stories, and then each week some were randomly chosen for that weeks challenge. Thus, that particular week, we each had to write a short story [in 7 days] containing the following elements; A wooden spoon; the emotion of Envy; it had to be in a Diary or Journal format; and had to have elements of humour.

I myself wrote a silly story, A Greasy Spoon Life [shameless plug: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/330510 ] and Jonny produced this clever tale.

Jonny's story tells of two school rivals, meeting up again for a cookery competition. Whereas one of the characters has chilled out and grown up, the other has let the old rivalry smoulder in him through the years, he is bitter and twisted, and wants revenge. A simple innocent schoolyard rivalry has dominated and obsessed this character's life; a clever way of saying, through a funny story, how certain events, trivial though they may seem to others, can fester and take on massive importance to some people.

So this story, I think, has a serious undertone but is also a light and fluffy read, amusing and increasingly vulgar. A few typo's aside, this is another off-the-ball and enjoyable story by Strickland, whose tales are always full of excellent characters who you don't want to meet in the pub.
(review of free book)

Review by: Shawn O'Toole on Sep. 23, 2013 :
There were many typos, but I assumed these were to capture the feel of being personal diaries rather than publications. I LAUGHED at the wonderful portrayal of human melodrama we all experience. Sadly for our species, the extremes in the story are not so exaggerated. Sebastian's obsession and insecurity clash so well with Wilbur's unassuming arrogance. So as not to spoil the humorous surprises, I shall cryptically mention that the judge was the perfect imperfect pick and the placement of the ladle was appropriately inappropriate. In summary: A funny look at what it is to be human and why we have so much trouble living with each other in peace.
(review of free book)

Review by: Sherry Donacy on Sep. 22, 2013 :
An interesting study in dark humor. At first this story grabbed me as very Victorian since few writers use 'proper' diary from as a literary style anymore. Wilber reminds me of a Dickens story while Sebastian is straight from Lovecraft. But as the story plays out I found myself transported to the land of cult movies to live out the remainder of the gripping prose in Pulp Fiction. Entertaining, demented, and dark. This story would not be for everyone, so my thanks to Jonathan for the content warning. Still, as the story drew to a close I had to laugh. The writer's attention to detail in spelling and structure have greatly improved since the first story I read. Well done Strickland! Three cheers to the King of the Leprechauns!
(review of free book)

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