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Elias Zapple was not born in 1922, as some would have you believe. His date of birth is not really relevant anyway. What is relevant is that he arose out of a tulip that was growing in some old granny's garden in Camberwell. How he got to be in a tulip is not really clear, nor is it clear how he got out of the tulip and years later wrote the smash hit musical, 'Love be a Stranger', which was an international flop.
After that success, he went on to work as a 19th century Victorian chimney sweep where he was then inspired to write the acclaimed series of books entitled 'Duke & Michel'. It is believed the fumes from the chimneys did so much damage to Elias that it was a miracle he ever ate a cupcake again.
Later, he travelled back in time to the present and went on a series of trips to many foreign and distant lands. During these travels, Elias met and spoke to many interesting people, choosing to ignore all of them. He did, however, learn a couple of things: i) the earth is flat; and ii) you should never eat a banana when it's not ripe.
Many questions are often asked by his adoring public. Are you human? How many chimpanzees can fit inside a fridge? What is that thing growing on the side of your head? To which Mr Zapple has always smiled, turned away and swam off into the sunset, only once being bitten by an unfriendly shark.
Elias Zapple continues to work towards the unification of Korea and writing children's stories that parents will spend huge sums of money on. He wishes you all to know that every penny made from the books will go straight into his bank account, which he will then spend on a lavish, new tent.
Mary Josefina Cade
on Oct. 01, 2013 :
I know this is meant to be a children's book, but when I stared reading, just to check it was suitable, I couldn't stop. And I am most definitely adult. Sorry kids, my turn first. This book made me laugh a lot, the humour is so original. I challenge anyone to resist Duke, the most irritating, fascinating talking animal I've ever encountered. Plus being the fattest. Elias Zapple has a wild imagination and he doesn't hold back. Michel and the constantly annoying, but strangely lovable, Duke travel along the corridor searching for three year old Romain. They meet some characters who should become classics. Including the dreadful Master and his sidekick Mr Flagstad. A must for lovers of flying desks and skateboarding.
Warning: Romain has a runny nose. Those with an aversion to snot, step away now.
(reviewed the day of purchase)