‘Brute’ Critical Thinking vs. ‘Mr Wham Bam’ Metaphysic – A Narrative Of A WCW title fight held At Madison Square Garden, November 9, 1989
A blow by blow narrative of the great blowoff between WCW’s two greatest rivals held at Madison Square Garden in 1989. Their feud has captured their country’s imagination for nigh on three years and tonight is the night a new champ in ‘Brute’ or the current champ in ‘Mr Wham Bam’ will be announced. But don’t rule out a draw. More
A blow by blow narrative of the great blowoff between WCW’s two greatest rivals held at Madison Square Garden in 1989. Their feud has captured their country’s imagination for nigh on three years and tonight is the night a new champ in ‘Brute’ or the current champ in ‘Mr Wham Bam’ will be announced. But don’t rule out a draw. A whimsical tale by the author of Ibsen’s Job is to Sort the Mail, ThinkFish and Henry’s War Effort.
This is the moment World Championship Wrestling fans have been waiting so long for. Tonight’s title match between ‘Brute’ Critical Thinking and ‘Mr Wham Bam’ Metaphysic will decide once and for all who the ‘honest to god’ world wrestling champion should be. ‘Brute’ or ‘Wham Bam’ - the world of wrestling just isn’t big enough for the both of them. Their feud, a well choreographed ‘proxy stalk’, has indeed had the fans salivating. It’s all about their aggro personalities. Violence and then peace. Their three year dispute is now down to this reckoning; a grand slam, head banging, Fourth of July type showdown, here at Madison Square Garden.
This blowoff is going to be the mother of all blowoffs! So say the sporting media.
The contest itself is set for a one fall result, with a 20 minute time limit and a three count pin. The build up to the match has been immense. Months of publicity, merchandise sales and fan signings. And the pre-match tactical discussions has focussed all involved - the organisers, the manager, the investors, the trainers, the referee, the ring girls, the fans and of course the wrestlers themselves. All manner of moves, holds, throws, kicks, legal and illegal have been ‘magna cartared’ for this great match up.
And when all was said and done a balmy evening welcomes the two wrestlers to Madison Square Garden and to a full house. Both make strikingly unique entrances and thrill the hyped up crowd. First in is the challenger, ‘Brute’ Critical Thinking, who is masked and is wearing a flowing black cape. He is announced as hailing from Burlington, Vermont and weighing in at 322 pounds. To the music of ‘Back In Black” with fog and dry ice spreading around him and laser lights bouncing all over the ceiling, Brute slowly and deliberately walks down the aisle toward the ring. The crowd hubbub is deafening. An inflated blimp with the words ‘BRUTE IS THEE GRETEST’ (sic) rises to the ceiling. Then it explodes and black confetti rains down on the crowd. Then Brute pulls off his mask grabs a megaphone and yells “Mr Wham Bam I’m Gonna Kill Ya”. He gets into the ring and strides around it pumping his massive chest with his massive fists. Then he waves his left arm around and a remarkable quiet spreads throughout the auditorium.
In comes ‘Mr Wham Bam’ Metaphysic the reigning champ. He is announced as hailing from Venice Beach, California and weighing in at 315 pounds. The strains of Pachelbel float around the auditorium. ‘Mr Wham Bam’ calmly and deliberately skips down the entrance. Suddenly he drops to his knees and crawls on all fours, and then up he gets and continues striding toward the ring. The champ likes to show off his humility. He is wearing a business suit and bit by bit he strips off the raiment, revealing a steel muscled hulk of a six foot five gold stamped world champion. The crowd wake from its Pachelbel mesmerism and go berserk. ‘Mr Wham Bam’ blows kisses to the crowd, and even finds a baby to kiss. Then Pachelbel gives way to the intro of Gang of Four’s ‘Love like Anthrax’. ‘Mr Wham Bam’ tears the baby apart and throws the bits into the crowd. A very plasticular spectacular! Then he climbs into the ring looking Zen and composed. If there were any doubts as to whether ‘Mr Wham Bam’ was a genuine heel they were soon dispelled. Brute, sometimes a heel, sometimes a face, shows his contempt.