Jacob's Closet

Rated 3.80/5 based on 5 reviews
Some people are in the right place at the right time.
Some people are in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Some people are there on purpose.
Detective Jennings wasn’t given the choice. More
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Price: Free! USD

Words: 2,500
Language: English
ISBN: 9781310613814
About Jeff McDargh

Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Your reviews are welcome and appreciated. If you have questions or comments that you don't wish to post on this sit please feel free to contact me at jeffmcdargh@yahoo.com

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Also by This Author

Reviews

Review by: Vicki Tyley on Aug. 16, 2014 :
I read and enjoyed all Jeff McDargh's Maple Drive series shorts plus the Anniversary flash fiction (my favourite of the four). The writing in all is strong with no wasted words, yet McDargh manages to pack a lot in.

McDargh's strength is in the storytelling. All the stories, however, could do with some editing. The missing punctuation and the few typos weren't so much, though, as to detract from the story.
(review of free book)

Review by: David Blake on July 13, 2014 :
I have to agree with the previous reviewer who picked up on numerous mistakes in terms of punctuation, spelling, words missed out etc. There were more than enough to detract from the reading of the story.
I liked the scenario here, but unlike previous reviewers, I'm less convinced about the way the story is split into two halves. The story starts off by slowly building up to a chilling crescendo and then... Puff! The drama evaporates as the story is effectively rebooted, and the suspense then has to build up again from scratch, and in the process repeat details we already know.
I think it might have worked better starting with Detective Jennings arriving at the scene, and as he visits each room and learns details, the narrative gives us snippets from Jeannie's experience in the form of brief flashbacks. The two strands would have knitted together more strongly and the piece as a whole would have had a more clear sense of progression, particularly in terms of slowly cranking up the suspense from the start to the climax.
(review of free book)

Review by: Michael Carter on Jan. 16, 2014 :
This is a pretty good story, about a cursed house, missing people, and a mysterious darkness, that comes complete with a twisty horror-film-style ending, and is worth ten minutes of your time.

Jeff, the story, structure, character, pace and really everything technical to do with narrative are all good things here. But I get the impression that you're hurrying through the writing; don't get me wrong there are some great turns of phrase here, I was impressed on a few occasions by the style and choice of words ["Morning, like Autumn, had come too early." for example]. The story as a whole just needs a general health check-up; add a comma here, spellcheck-there, a few Capitalizations on names, that kind of thing, just a little edit to make it shine. But, just one thing, if nothing else, you're still using the word "defiantly" [as in, with defiance], when you mean "definitely" [as in, for sure], and when I was reading your intriguing and mysterious storyline, these mis-words threw me out of the story.

Generally, this is great stuff Jeff, keep it up, but go over your stories with a spit and polish to make them gleam.
(review of free book)

Review by: Sherry Donacy on Dec. 24, 2013 :
Well done Jeff! I thoroughly enjoyed this read. It grabbed me from the first sentence as it would anyone living in these dark days. For whatever reason, this line just grabbed me, "What was waiting for her was nothing but nothing wasn't nothing it was a something." Yes, I must agree with Jonathan, that flip in narrative halfway through is a stroke of genius! Now for my two critiques... punctuation and spelling. As thought out and well executed as the narrative is, those pesky grammar bugs kept biting me as I was reading. Oddly, I didn't feel the mistakes detracted from the pacing or narrative. Definitely worth the read and every bit of four stars. I look forward to many more such stories from Mr. McDargh.
(review of free book)

Review by: Jonathan Antony Strickland on Dec. 21, 2013 :
A good solid horror/ghost story with a twist ending.

I liked the way the story starts off with the young mother and her little escapade as she investigates the mystery of the house, then flips suddenly halfway through to the police investigation as to what happened.
(review of free book)

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