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I am Human - I am told, live on planet Earth and own a Dyson vacuum cleaner although I point blank refuse to buy my wife one of those Karcher window cleaners. I think I'm getting old because I own a Honda and have recently bought one of those things from Aldi that removes hair from nostrils and ears. Why do I write? The same reasons why I breath, eat and sleep - because I want to and because I have to, to keep my brain functioning. Not that I breath, eat and sleep in any way perfectly, commendably and stupendously - as is probably not my writing. Oh I do put myself down!