Payback's a Witch

Rated 3.50/5 based on 2 reviews
Nelle doesn't really believe in fate, or fairy tales, or magic, but when her boyfriend lets it slip that his ex used to be really into witchcraft, all the recent disasters in her life finally start making sense.

Now that it's Nelle's turn to learn the ways of witchcraft, what will happen when she tries to conjure up a little revenge of her own? More

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Reviews

Review by: Scooby2 on July 07, 2011 :
This was my first by Rachel Astor and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story It is a great quirky romance that includes witches, love, curses, friendships and much more. This was a great story, well written. I hope to read more from Ms. Astor.
(reviewed long after purchase)

Review by: Romana Grimm on May 21, 2011 :
Unfortunately this book starts out with an interesting description. I even liked the cover and thought: It's only a dollar ... but that's where I went wrong.

I'm a reader who's used to reading fanfiction (in other words, used to reading less-than-stellar-stories). As I grew older, my patience with bad storytelling and grammar waned. Still, I wanted to give this book a try because I liked the idea and the premise and because I also believe in giving "indies" a chance.

Now, why am I so disappointed?

First of all, the narrative could be better. Much better. Orthographical erros and stylistic boredom aside (Your xy = you're xy ... dear God, I'm from Germany and know better than that. Mistakes like that really make it hard to be patient and read on, especially when there's more than one.), every character speaks like the other and dialogue sounds so flat that, at times, I wanted to shake the characters.

Also, there was simply no depth to the characters, especially Nelle. She's a girl who's single at the beginning and felt that no man was good enough for her ... until the Adonis Sam comes along. They hit it off instantly - and I couldn't care less. There's nothing about Nelle that I liked. For example: When meeting the ex-girlfriend her first thought is that she's out of Sam's league. (Don't get me wrong, women really think so but for a reader it is really, really annoying to have such a shallow character as the lead. Why doesn't Nelle wonder what Sam saw in Anna if she wasn't as beautiful as him? And why would Sam care if he is the perfect boyfriend? Sam seems to strike me as that kind of guy who likes a girl because he likes all of her, not merely because she's a super hot sex bomb. That shallow-part really needs to be worked on.) Every other character had more substance than Nelle in my opinion and added to my growing frustration.

There's more but I don't think it is my job to edit this story. For me, this was thoroughly disappointing. I really liked this "discover your inner witch"-thing and I hoped to read a compelling story. It's a pity that so much plot was stuffed onto so few pages. In my opinion this story has the potential to be much more if the author would take the time and add all the little ingredients like different speeches, perfect orthography, not-too-many twists and an antagonist who actually appears more than twice in the story and gets a better characterization. If she's bad I at least want to know her well enough to hate her!

To the author: I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm a writer myself and know how much work it is to write a story, even if it's a short one. I respect that and want to help (which, I hope, I could do with this review, even though it might sound harsh) because nothing is more important than the satisfaction of the reader.

As a reader, however, I expected more service. The dollar is not my problem, you can keep it; my time is.
(reviewed within a month of purchase)

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