Day

Rated 4.83/5 based on 8 reviews
They have different homes. They live separate lives. They do not even know the other exists. However, they are connected. Follow two teenagers as they live a single day of their lives, which, despite the differences, share similar aspects.
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Reviews

Review by: stude29 on May 26, 2011 :
I'm anxious to hear more abou these characters
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Review by: stude29 on May 26, 2011 :
Forgot to do the star thing
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Review by: Fenris Fenrir on May 25, 2011 : (no rating)
not bad :)
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Review by: stude29 on May 25, 2011 : (no rating)
Very insightful. Deserves to be extended to something larger. Contrasts not ony exist between the characters but also within each character. Expand it.
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Review by: Diane Meyer on May 24, 2011 :
WOW!
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Review by: Ben Campbell on May 23, 2011 :
Hi Ashley, I'll explain my needs first. I seek exquisite, heralding, concise, quantum, stealth stories (reality fiction) to coin my phrase. Plotting and sub-plotting needs to jettison me into outer space and plummet me into hell. I won't be bothered with menial, mundane situations and tongue-wagging dialog. Dull and tedious characters kill the story and bury my interest. Am I asking too much from a writer? Hell no! Time is precious and words manipulate.

Accost me with exhilarating and electrifying characters. You say that's too difficult? Then you shouldn't write. Thrill me with stupefying and invigorating plotting. Not possible for you? Then don't write at all. Accost me and thrill me and I'll follow every word you write, every scintillating character you create and every brilliant plot you throw at me. Please, just dazzle me and I'll be your devotee.

Inside your stories I visualized the environments and felt his and her's emotions. When I read I want to feel everything. And I wanted the names of your two characters, I wanted locations where they lived, to experience the weather, to inhale the smells of life and see the types of clothing they wore. I was confused with the second Africa paragraph. The girl was already up and about in the first paragraph then in the second "...she rose from her small bedroom on the floor."

The rest of the story moved in pieces and bits and that was good; showing and not telling and considering the shortness of your epic. And the character buildup was very good. I gave you 5 stars because of effort and strategic ideas.

So, take care and don't try to finish this story because it has ended.

Visit me on smashwords.com: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/bencampbellbooks
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Review by: Mark Stewart on May 22, 2011 :
I thought the story was written. Comparing the two lifestyles was different but well mixed. Well done.
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Review by: Ernest Winchester on May 22, 2011 :
Interesting, and certainly something different. It was a good quick read and well worth the few minutes it took to complete. I do wonder how the author managed to learn about the African girl’s life in spite of the class that was supposed to provide the information.
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