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Write a bio?
I don’t want to write a bio, I want someone else to write it for me. You see, someone told me that self praise is no recommendation, and I’m not going to say ... “Well, I’m ok, you know, quite a good writer.”
I’m the dude!
“Really? Who do you think YOU are, bighead!?”
The ideal thing would be to get someone to write one for me, but, I live in Coventry, and immediately there are two barriers against me. The first one is, ‘find someone who picked that bit up at school’ (maybe I should go make a few friends in Birmingham?).
And 2. Actually get someone to actually do it.
I was stuck.
Then I had a great idea. Credit cards!
I get so many credit card applications through the door, I have had to move into a tent in the garden because the house is full of pens (it’s like one of those hoarder programmes). If someone rings, and asks me if I have a pen, it takes me five minutes to choose a suitable one (I’m not going to use one that doesn’t match my shirt, or eye shadow). So, in order to get this profile done, and maybe even the book write ups, I applied for several credit cards, received them, ‘maxed them out’, and said I couldn’t afford the repayments. That’s when the hostilities began i.e. letters, phone calls asking me why I couldn’t pay, and telling me how irresponsible I’d been, etc etc ..Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
I got that traumatised, I created my own trauma buddy to handle it for me.
Why though waste a trauma buddy just on credit card rubbish? Why not get ‘her’ to write a bio for me? Do the book write ups? Etc. Great idea.
October-Aurora-Sunrise agreed! Now we’re friends, but we’ve never met, because every time she turns up to use my body, I ‘zone’ out. I’m a bit like Esther Hicks with Abraham.
Abraham – Hicks? Sunrise – Lassut!
hang on ... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...
Hello! October-Aurora-Sunrise here! I’m an upper class ‘chav’, and I have a good time in the ‘realm’ where I live. I’m in the country in a Gothic Castle. I was playing croquet the other day with friends, when I heard Frankie calling for some help with these people who run credit card companies and debt collection agencies ... they’re good sport as far as I’m concerned.
Frankie lives in Coventry, England. Originally he was from the English Lake District, where he lived in a little town called Millom. That's probably why there are a couple of books on Cumbria in his arsenal (Cumbria, the tourist Misguide, and Happy Juice). He's done loads of jobs from sweeping up to bus driving (that's driving a mobile lunatic asylum). He's really generous, and has a sweet tooth. He likes animals, and over the years has saved loads of hedgehogs by running out into busy roads to pick them up. He may write a book called 'The Hedgehogs I rescued 20 years on.' ... one is a lawyer now, and another a Lollipop Man.
Frankie as a writer? He’s the dude! Very refreshing, says it as it is. Covers seven genres, and has a good time as he does so. Read his books, you’ll have a ball. I do, and my friends do.
I call him a pen-tertainer.
The Wonky Books Team
Evo Nelliott ... Editor, proof reader, formatter, and art critic.
October-Aurora-Sunrise ... Frankie’s PR.
P. P. Kettlozonya ... Editor and proof reader.
Sahara-Goldings-Holding ... proof reader, literary bloodhound, computer advisor.
Frankie Lassut ... Writer, source of amusement.