Published: June 26, 2011
Words: 112,001 (approximate)
Language: English
ISBN: 9780956951106

Short description

Desperate housewife Amanda Wilson can’t decide between murder, insanity and another glass of red wine. Her shelf life is up. Not only is she facing 50 but she hasn't had sex with her morose husband for over a year. She really shouldn’t have pressed that 'send' button. They say your past always catches up with you - still, her colourful past is far more exciting than her monochrome present.

Extended description

Amanda Wilson and the sixteen cartons of half price soya milk, now filling the shelves of her fridge, have the same problem. They are all rapidly approaching their use by date. She is about to be fifty but she may as well hang a sign around her neck saying ‘out of order’.
Whatever happened to her husband, the sparkling, fun-loving man who danced the conga, at 3am, with a pineapple on his head? Newly retired, and constantly under her feet, he now makes Victor Meldrew look like Coco the Clown. Nothing amuses him or interests him. even crumbled up Horny Goat’s Weed sneakily dropped in his afternoon cocoa fails to arouse him. His joie de vivre has evaporated as quickly as their life savings.
Facing the big five oh and all that it entails is problematic enough - and jolly depressing, when your husband would much rather watch ‘Russia Today’ than admire you - strutting in front of the television wearing only thigh length boots and a thong?
Her wretched son has managed to perform.. (Read more) Amanda Wilson and the sixteen cartons of half price soya milk, now filling the shelves of her fridge, have the same problem. They are all rapidly approaching their use by date. She is about to be fifty but she may as well hang a sign around her neck saying ‘out of order’.
Whatever happened to her husband, the sparkling, fun-loving man who danced the conga, at 3am, with a pineapple on his head? Newly retired, and constantly under her feet, he now makes Victor Meldrew look like Coco the Clown. Nothing amuses him or interests him. even crumbled up Horny Goat’s Weed sneakily dropped in his afternoon cocoa fails to arouse him. His joie de vivre has evaporated as quickly as their life savings.
Facing the big five oh and all that it entails is problematic enough - and jolly depressing, when your husband would much rather watch ‘Russia Today’ than admire you - strutting in front of the television wearing only thigh length boots and a thong?
Her wretched son has managed to perform yet another magical disappearing act. could he actually be buried under the mountain of festering washing which is strewn on his bedroom floor? he’ll certainly be buried somewhere when she next gets her hands on him after last night's shenanigans.
Life is certainly 'drab' not 'fab' at the moment. Isn't fifty supposed to be the new forty?not for Amanda, it seems.
At least her mother knows how to enjoy herself. she’s partying her twilight years away in cyprus. Queen of the Twister mat, she now even has a toy boy in tow. However, who can be sure what the pearly-white toothed Adonis is really up to?
Everyone else seems to enjoy life to the maximum. even the ancient neighbours know how to have fun. when they aren’t getting people blotto with their homemade wine, they spend weekends shooting off on their new motor bike, which they bought from his ‘peaPad’.
Amanda blames desperation, hormones and her son's girlfriend's coltish, blemish-free legs. for succumbing to the internet friendship request- a request made by the provocative and totally delicious Todd Bradshaw, her first true love.
Soon Mandy has a difficult decision to make; one that will require more than a few glasses of Chianti.
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Adult-content rating: This book contains content considered unsuitable for young readers 17 and under, and which may be offensive to some readers of all ages. For more information, see the Support FAQ.

Tags

comedy, relationships, games, fitness, funny, diary, health, age, youth, blog, lighthearted, amusing, antiaging, beach read, original, grumpy old women

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Videos

Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines
An amusing trailer to debut novel.

Reviews

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Review by: Sylvia Massara on Nov. 15, 2011 :
Being an author myself, I don't get much time to read; but recently, during a move, I did my back in and was bed-ridden for a few days. I was driving myself insane, not having much to do, so I decided to read Carol's book.

Just so you know, I'm getting closer to 50 myself (Oh, my God!); just went through a horrible divorce; an illness; lost my home; lost heaps of money on legal fees, etc, etc. I thought that this marriage of mine would last till the end and I lost all faith in love when it didn't. To top matters off, getting closer to the big 5-0 is not fun, and facing an uncertain future is very scary. As we get older, we also tend to lose loved ones around us; I lost my mother in 2007, and my cat of 15 yrs 6 months later. My other cat is 20 yrs old and on her last legs, and I don't have any other family in Australia, except my brother. So you might say that I'm DEFINITELY not looking forward to an uncertain future where I might be alone and have to start all over again.

Why am I giving you all this background? So you can understand how Carol's book affected me. Basically, if I were a doctor dealing with a patient who's been going through all the crap I've been going through, I would prescribe Carol's book.

The story made me laugh, it made me cry (I cried a lot, in fact), it made me look at things in my life in a different light, and it made me a little bit wiser in the end. I was able to relate to so many of the situations the characters in the book found themselves in, and I simply loved the mother! She so reminded me so much of my own mother, whom I miss so much (and my mother was real internet junkie to boot!). Also, I obviously had to release more sadness and feelings of hurt and grief about my marriage breakup. So it was probably providence that I did my back in and had Carol's book handy (though I could've done without the excrutiating pain. LOL).

From an author's point of view, I loved the way Carol developed her characters and brought them to life in such a way that you could practically reach out and touch them!I got to know each of them intimately, and when the story finished I missed them. So Carol, please bring them back!

This is a MUST READ for anyone at any age! Don't miss it (and don't wait till you're getting closer to 50). You will absolutely love this story whether your 19 or 99!

And Carol, thank you for taking away so much of my pain through your writing; I truly appreciate it.

Sylvia Massara
Author of "Like Casablanca"
"The Other Boyfriend" and "The Soul Bearers"
(reviewed long after purchase)

Review by: Stephen Natale on Oct. 19, 2011 :
Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines is a comedic look at the day-to-day Life of Amanda Wilson, a frustrated housewife facing her Fifties wondering what happened to the days of laughter and shapely short skirts. The book is a chronicle of her adventures and efforts to endure a life that has become mundane by attempting rekindle the pleasures, if not at least the memories of youth.

Carol Wyre captures Amanda’s struggles in the outrageously funny Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines. Written in diary blog format, Carol’s situational descriptions, dialog and observations are often “Bombeckian” in style, but with a particularly whimsical British twist. Readers on both sides of the pond will enjoy Carol’s wit and humor and will be left anxiously awaiting her next release.
(reviewed within a week of purchase)

Review by: Pam Lofton on Oct. 07, 2011 :
Absolutely do not purchase this novel if you are allergic to hysterical laughter because you will be laughing through this entire story. Carol Wyer will keep you entertained from the very first word all the way to the end with her witty charm and clever insights into life and love. I find myself going back and reading my favorite parts over and over again and I'm STILL laughing! Haven't bought it yet? Grab a copy, pour yourself a glass of wine (keep the bottle nearby) and allow yourself to enjoy the hilarity of Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines!
(reviewed long after purchase)

Review by: Southhams Darling on July 16, 2011 :
I have just finished reading this wonderfully funny first novel by Carol E. Wyer, and I must say it is an absolute hoot. I have never smiled so much when reading a book - a super debut novel, and I shall certainly look out for the sequel (hopefully there will be one). Pour yourself a glass of chilled wine, put your feet up, and prepare yourself for a feast of laughter. I highly recommend this book. Review written by Southhams Darling.
(reviewed within a month of purchase)

Review by: Darlene on July 09, 2011 :
Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines by Carol Wyer is delightful, wonderful and funny. Almost every page has me chuckling to myself or laughing out loud! It is a great read, and one you are sure to enjoy!
(reviewed within a month of purchase)

Review by: Fran Fischer on June 28, 2011 :
Ms. Wyer has written a wonderful book--chock full of chuckles & chortles! I hope that this is only the first of many from this funny lady.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

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