On A True Story
By Jimmy Cheng (Mortimer Jackson)
1. Based On A True Story
Have you ever seen a movie, or read a book that was either based on a true story, or a so-called autobiography, and you could tell it was complete bullshit just from looking at it? As I write this, I’m at home (oh sweet home) with Veronica, and we’re watching a Jet Li movie I pirated last night to celebrate the occasion of my recent return from prison. The movie in question is Fearless, which tells the tale of a cocky kung fu master who can fly fifty feet in the air, speak perfect English out of sync, and smash tables with his hands like they were cheap Hollywood props. The tagline of said movie is, as was written on the opening crawl, based on a true story.
Veronica and I have been watching said-movie for about half an hour now. And while we’re definitely enjoying ourselves, we have to stop and laugh at the sheer notion that even a quarter of this movie came from something that actually happened in real life.