We Put the Blast in Blastphemy

Don’t let the title fool you: The New Revised Catechlysm is a handcrafted creation, employing old-world, artisanal techniques of print-on-demand and ebooks. Produced with paper made from the starched wimples of old nuns, and ink from the black hearts of sinners mixed with penitents’ tears, this is a book you’ll want to mortify yourself with over and over again, and stretch your credit card limit to share copies with friends, enemies, and acquaintances toward whom you previously felt nothing but the most towering indifference.

“If you file a restraining order against just one book this year, this should be it!”

—Paralegal Book Club of Gehenna, Michigan

“A shoo-in for the Pulitzer in Dogmatic Religious Journalism this year.”

—Frankie Sodomitre, KIHS radio

“Some would call it a smackdown between Larry Flynt and Thomas Aquinas, but they would be wrong—and apparently guilty of several mortal sins, too.”

—The Lapsed Catholic Review

“A blasphemous love letter to tepid unbelievers everywhere. Pax vobiscum!”

—Vatican Library Janitors Consortium

“A brave new source for authoritative doctrinal piffle.”

—Roman Collier, author, The 30-Minute Priest