How I hated my son sometimes. What right had he to dominate our private life? Why should he get his gratification instantly and deny me mine?

But as I cooled down, a darker, more sombre mood flowed across me, gathering like a black stain on my mind, blotting out my future with Claire. No, it wasn't Jason's fault. In fact, he'd probably saved us from total corruption. Wasn't sex supposed to be holy? The body is a temple, and all that? A sanctified expression of love? What we'd just performed was an act of animal nature - mating, coupling, copulation, call it what you like - it had nothing to do with love. I might as well have masturbated. And this was with Claire, the woman I'd adored for years!

- He's fast asleep. Do you want to try again, darling?

Could she really be serious? Was she so completely unaware of our degradation? Or did she perhaps feel this was a wifely duty she should perform for me? I loved her for her devotion, hated her for her lack of understanding.

- No, I can't. Not tonight.

- Well, never mind. Perhaps it'll be better next time.

But she didn't sound convinced and, after leaning over to switch out the bedside light, she stayed at the far side of the bed. I was certainly not convinced. There had been nights like this before, lots of them, now I thought about it. What was different about tonight was my detachment, the cold realization of how bad things had really become.